£ 


COPYRIGHT  1886. 

ALL    RIGHTS    RESERVED. 


VOLUME  FIRST 


JOSKPH   SMITH 


THE  PROPHET 


A  Study  Based  on  Facts  and  Documents 


WITH  FOURTEEN  ILLUSTRATIONS 


SALT  LAKE  CITY 

TRIBUNE  PRINTING  AND  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 
1886 


DEATH  MASK  OF  JOSEPH  SMITH. 

From  a  Cast  in  the  Possession  of  Brigham    Young. 


JOSEPH  SMITH: 

"  Nobody  knows  what  the  other  world  will  be." 

"  I  have  got  the  damned  fools  fixed  and  will  carry  out  the  fun." 

"  The  world  owes  me  a  good  living  and  if  I  cannot  get  it  without, 
I'll  steal  it — and  catch  me  at  it  if  you  can." 

"  We  will  all  go  to  hell  together  and  convert  it  into  a  heaven  by 
casting  the  Devil  out;  hell  is  by  no  means  the  place  this  world  of  fools 
supposes  it  to  be,  but  on  the  contrary,  it  is  quite  an  agreeable  place." 

BRIGHAM  YOUNG: 


"  There  is  not  a  bishop  in  this  whole  Territory  who  is  not  a  damned 
thief." 

"  We  have  the  meanest  devils  on  the  earth  in  our  midst  and  we 
intend  to  keep  them,  for  we  have  use  for  them." 

"  I  have  many  a  time  dared  the  world  to  produce  as  mean  devils 
as  we  can  ;  we  can  beat  them  at  anything.  We  have  the  greatest  and 
smoothest  liars  in  the  world,  the  cunningest  and  most  adroit  thieves  and 
any  other  shade  of  character  that  you  can  mention.  We  can  pick  out 
elders  in  Israel  right  here  who  can  beat  the  world  at  gambling ;  who 
can  handle  the  cards ;  who  can  cut  and  shuffle  them  with  the  smartest 
rogue  on  the  face  of  God's  foot-stool.  I  can  produce  elders  here  who 
can  shave  their  smartest  shavers  and  take  their  money  from  them.  We 
can  beat  the  world  at  any  game.  We  can  beat  them  because  we  have 
men  here  that  live  in  the  light  of  the  Lord ;  that  have  the  holy  priest- 
hood and  hold  the  keys  of  the  Kingdom  of  God." 


NOTICE. 

Volume  Second  of  MORMON  PORTRAITS,  which  I  have  entitled 
Brigham  Young  and  His  People,  will  appear  in  a  few  months. 

I  respectfully  solicit  information,  either  in  personal  interviews  or 
by  post,  from  all  trustworthy  sources  and  shall  be  much  obliged  for  the 
same ;  as  well  as  for  the  pointing  out  of  any  errors  of  statement,  how- 
ever slight,  that  may  by  accident  have  crept  into  this  volume.  My 
address  is 

DR.  W.  WYL, 
SALT  LAKE  CITY,  UTAH. 

JULY  17,  1886. 


The  family  is  the  unit  of  the  modern  State.  Woman  is  the  heart 
and  crown  of  the  modern  family.  In  Mormonism  womanhood  has 
been  outraged  and  crucified  from  Emma  Smith  to  the  last  polygamous 
victim  and  martyr. 

Looking  around  me  and  afar,  and  seeing  no  brighter  or  braver 
spirit  opposing  this  monstrous  evil,  I  take  the  liberty  to  inscribe  this 
little  volume  on  Mormonism  to  one  who  seems  to  be  equally  at  home 
on  either  side  of  the  Atlantic, 

Miss  KATE  FIELD. 


TESTIMONIALS. 


TERRITORY  OF  UTAH,  EXECUTIVE  OFFICE, 
SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May  2,  1885. 

To  whom  this  may  come : 

Dr.  W.  Wyl,  a  representative  of  the  Berliner  Tage- 
blatt,  and  who  is  commended  to  me  from  a  high  personal 
and  official  source  as  a  "  highly  cultivated  and  thoroughly 
reliable  gentleman,"  has  for  four  months  assiduously 
labored  in  the  investigation  of  the  questions  involved  in 
Mormonism.  I  am  satisfied  that  he  has  given  the  subject 
careful  study,  and  is  therefore  qualified  to  write  advisedly 
of  the  situation,  past  and  present. 
Respectfully, 

ELI  H.  MURRAY, 

Governor. 


We,  the  undersigned,  hereby  certify  that  we  know  that 
Dr.  W.  Wyl,  a  German  author  and  correspondent,  has 
worked  very  earnestly  for  months  to  collect  facts  from  a 
number  of  witnesses  living  in  Salt  Lake  City,  relating  to 
the  history  of  Mormonism.  We  believe  that  Dr.  Wyl  has 
done  his  work  in  a  thoroughly  honest  and  truth-loving 
spirit,  and  that  his  Book  will  be  a  valuable  addition  to  the 
material  collected  by  other  reliable  writers. 

W.  S.  GODBE, 
H.  W.  LAWRENCE, 
E.  L.  T.  HARRISON. 
SALT  LAKE  CITY,  UTAH  TER.,  April  28,  1886. 


THE  DAILY  TRIBUNE,  (EDITORIAL  ROOMS,)  ) 
SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May  12,  1885.      } 
Dr.  W.   Wyl: 

MY  DEAR  DOCTOR: — I  have  been  doing  myself  the 
honor  to  keep  a  pretty  close  watch  of  you  in  this  city  for 
several  months.  I  believe  I  never  saw  a  more  earnest, 
conscientious  or  persistent  searcher  after  facts.  I  believe 
you  know  as  much  about  Mormonism  as  any  man  who 
never  spent  more  than  twice  the  time  you  have  in  investi- 
gating it. 

I  believe  you  will  be  of  good  service  to  man  and  to 
free  government  by  presenting  the  array  of  facts  which  you 
have  accumulated  either  in  book  or  lecture  form.  I  believe 
the  conclusions  you  have  drawn  from  the  facts  are  sound, 
and  now,  Dear  Sir,  "  Hail  and  Farewell." 
Most  sincerely  yours, 

C.  C.  GOODWIN. 


SALT  LAKE,  UTAH,  May  7,  1885. 
To  Dr.  W.  Wyl: 

DEAR  SIR: — I  think,  from  the  manner  in  which  your 
inquiries  have  been  conducted,  that  you  have  obtained  a 
more  thorough  knowledge  of  the  past  history  and  present 
aspect  of  Mormonism  than  any  one  who  has  ever  visited 
our  Territory  with  this  object  in  view.  You  have  gathered 
materials  for  a  book  which  ought  to  be  of  absorbing  inter- 
est, and  your  ability  as  a  writer  ( if  you  will  allow  me  to 
be  the  judge)  insures  the  presentation  of  the  facts  in  hand 
in  such  a  manner  that  the  reader  who  once  opens  your 
book  will  not  be  able  to  lay  it  aside  until  it  is  finished. 

With  the  hope  that  your  book  may  have  the  success 
that  it  is  sure  to  deserve,  I  remain  very  sincerely  yours, 

CORNELIA  PADDOCK. 

To  whom  this  may  come  : 

I  have  been  thoroughly  acquainted  with  the  Mormon 
Church  for  over  fifty  years.  I  attended  grammar  school 


7 

with  Joseph  Smith  in  Kirtland,  Ohio,  in  the  winter  of 
1834  and  1835,  and  assisted  in  teaching  Joseph  Smith,  the 
prophet,  English  grammar.  I  witnessed  the  history  of  the 
Church  in  Kirtland,  Ohio,  in  Caldwell  and  Davies  coun- 
ties, Mo.,  in  Nauvoo,  111.,  and  in  Salt  Lake  City.  I  was 
intimately  acquainted  with  Joseph  Smith  and  his  family 
for  eleven  years',  also  with  all  the  leading  men  of  the 
Church  down  to  the  present  time.  I  have  been  thoroughly 
acquainted  with  the  system  and  all  the  important  facts  of 
the  history  of  the  Mormon  Church.  In  many  interviews 
during  March,  April  and  May,  1885,  I  have  given  all  the 
facts  within  my  knowledge  to  Dr.  W.  Wyl,  who  wrote 
them  down  in  shorthand.  I  think  Dr.  Wyl  has  enjoyed 
the  best  facilities  for  obtaining  a  thorough  knowledge  of 
Mormon  History,  and  I  look  forward  to  his  intended  pub- 
lication with  great  interest. 

C.  G.  WEBB. 
SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May  14,  1885, 


To  whom  it  may  concern : 

I  was  baptized  into  the  Mormon  Church  forty-five  years 
ago,  in  the  river  Mersey  at  Liverpool,  by  Elder  John 
Taylor,  now  President  of  the  Mormon  Church.  I  have 
lived  for  twenty-five  years  in  Southern  Utah,  city  of  Paro- 
wan,  and  have  known  personally  nearly  all  those  who  were 
implicated  in  the  "Mountain  Meadows  Massacre."  I 
was  cut  off  from  the  Church  because  I  could  not  convince 
myself  that  murder  and  stealing  were  agreeable  to  God. 
I  came  very  near  being  killed  as  an  apostate  by  the 
"Danites"  or  "  Destroying  Angels  "  of  the  Church.  I 
think  there  are  few  persons  living  in  Utah  who  have  a 
more  complete  knowledge  of  the  history  of  Mormonism 
in  Southern  Utah,  especially  during  the  terrible  time  of 
the  so-called  ''Reformation,"  when  the  spirit  of  murder 
was  supreme  in  the  Church.  I  have  told  in  many  inter- 
views all  the  important  facts  stored  up  in  my  memory  to 
Dr.  W.  Wyl,  and  he  has  taken  them  down  in  shorthand. 
I  feel  satisfied  that  he  has  collected  a  great  number  of 


facts  which  have  never  been  published,  and  that  he  has 
acquired  a  very  good  inside  view  of  the  History  and  spirit 
of  the  Mormon  Church. 

JAMES  McGuFFiE, 
N.  425  E.  Third  South  Street. 
SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May  14,  1885. 


To  whom  it  may  concern : 

This  is  to  certify  that  the  writer  has  been  associated 
with  the  Mormons  for  a  period  of  over  thirty  years,  and 
for  the  past  seventeen  years  principally  in  Salt  Lake  City. 
I, am  personally  and  thoroughly  acquainted  with  the  poli- 
tical and  religious  institutions  of  the  Mormons ;  also  with 
their  history  as  a  people,  as  well  as  with  their  public 
character  as  a  community  residing  in  the  Territory  of 
Utah. 

I  have  known  the  bearer,  Dr.  W.  Wyl,  author  and  cor- 
respondent of  Berlin,  Germany,  for  the  past  few  months 
since  he  has  resided  in  this  city.  He  has  been  engaged 
in  collecting  data  from  which  to  write  and  publish  a  book 
on  Mormonism.  From  the  well-known  characters  and 
abilities  of  his  "witnesses,"  I  feel  safe  in  saying  that  he 
has  obtained  a  fund  of  the  most  trustworthy  information 
possible,  and  such  as  no  preceding  writer  has  ever  been 
able  to  disclose.  Dr.  Wyl,  through  his  evident  impar- 
tiality and  the  entire  absence  of  personal  prejudice,  has 
made  a  host  of  substantial  friends  in  this  city,  from  whom 
he  has  obtained  a  clear  and  vivid  insight  into  the  inner 
life  of  this  " peculiar  people,"  as  well  as  the  most  com- 
prehensive conception  of  their  objects,  aims  and  purposes. 
From  the  pen  of  such  an  author  the  public  may  reason- 
ably expect  a  thorough  and  complete  elucidation  of  the  sub- 
ject to  be  treated,  and  learn — probably  for  the  first  time — 
that  the  Mormons  are  politically  an  aggressive  people,  and 
that  Mormonism,  as  regards  the  secret  aims  and  teachings 
of  the  leaders,  is  nothing  less  than  organized  TREASON. 
Yours  truly, 

JOSEPH  SALISBURY. 

SALT  LAKE  CITY,  April  27,  1885. 


To  whom  it  may  concern: 

My  friend,  Dr.  W.  Wyl,  has  spent  nearly  five  months 
in  Salt  Lake  City,  in  the  spring  of  1885,  an<^  ^n  April  and 
May,  1886,  and  has  made  a  special  and  exhaustive  study 
of  the  history  of  the  Mormon  Church,  from  its  inception 
to  date.  Having  carefully  digested  most  of  the  publica- 
tions pro  and  contra  on  this  subject,  and  having  worked 
day  after  day  with  living  witnesses,  the  very  best  to  be 
had  in  the  Territory,  taking  down  their  depositions  in 
shorthand,  Dr.  Wyl  has  succeeded  in  collecting  a  mass  of 
material  which,  in  my  opinion,  will  enable  him  to  produce 
a  book  full  of  new  facts  relating  to  Mormon  history.  Such 
a  book  is  much  desired  by  all  good  citizens,  and  will  do  a 
great  deal  of  good,  especially  in  the  present  crisis  of  Utah 
affairs.  Dr.  Wyl's  clear  and  full  insight  into  Utah  mat- 
ters, past  and  present,  his  zeal  and  fidelity  in  collecting 
and  sifting  data,  justify  the  earnest  hope  that  he  will  ere 
long  present  to  the  reading  public  of  this  country,  Great 
Britain  and  Germany,  a  really  standard  book  on  the 
characters  and  history  of  the  most  noted  among  the  Mor- 
mon leaders.  DAVID  F.  WALKER. 

SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May  9,  1886. 


LETTER  TO  THE  PUBLIC. 


I  do  not  wish  to  insult  anybody  in  this  book,  or  to 
hurt  anybody's  feelings.  I  desire  to  do  my  simple  duty 
as  a  writer.  That  is  all ;  to  do  it  as  a  critic  and  observer, 
having  the  courage  of  my  opinions,  and  being  happily 
free  from  "all  entangling  alliances." 

I  came  first  to  this  fine  Territory  in  December,  1884; 
stayed  a  few  weeks  and  received  my  first  general  impres- 
sions about  the  state  of  Utah  affairs;  took  my  first  dip 
into  Mormon  history  and  into  the  "Problem."  I  was 
received  in  the  kindest  manner  by  Governor  Murray,  Mr. 
David  F.  Walker,  Judge  C.  C.  Goodwin,  Col.  W.  Nelson, 
Col.  O.  J.  Hollister;  by  Wm.  S.  Godbe,  H.  W.  Lawrence 
and  E.  L.  T.  Harrison,  the  well-known  Mormon  Apostates 
and  Reformers  and  their  friends;  by  the  venerable  and 
clear-headed  widow  of  the  "  Paul  of  Mormonism,"  Mrs. 
Sarah  M.  Pratt,  herself  an  exhaustless  mine  of  curious  in- 
formation; by  the  eminent  authoress,  Mrs.  Cornelia  Pad- 
dock; also  by  a  number  of  Apostles,  Priests  and  Presidents 
in  the  Mormon  Church.  My  interest  got  awakened.  I 
returned  to  Utah  early  in  February,  '85,  remaining  till  the 
latter  part  of  May.  This  second  sojourn  was  devoted  ex- 
clusively to  the  taking  of  depositions  from  the  mouths  of 
living  witnesses:  I  have  examined  some  eighty,  all  men 
and  women  of  recognized  probity,  and  most  of  them  of 
superior  intelligence.  For  months  have  I  worked  with 
them  from  eight  to  ten  hours  a  day,  repeating  my  inter- 
views until  I  had  all  the  information  they  had  to  give. 
I  am  still  working  daily  in  this  way. 

I  have  made  studies  in  Rome,  Naples  and  Sicily,  in 
France  and  England;  have  published  some  books  about 
Italy,  and  about  the  Passion  Play  in  Oberammergau,  but 
never  have  I  felt  so  interested,  in  all  my  life,  as  now  in 
the  history  and  workings  of  Mormonism.  What  is  the 


II 

secret  charm  of  this  study?  I  don't  know.  It  may  be 
the  fact,  that  the  study  of  a  strikingly  peculiar  religious 
sect  affords  more  insight  into  human  nature  than  any 
other  investigation;  it  may  be,  that  the  analysis  of  a 
modern  theocracy  calls  back  so  vividly  the  forms,  work- 
ings and  general  history,  more  or  less  dark,  of  older  the- 
ocracies, as  that  of  the  Jews,  the  Mohammedans  and  the 
Jesuits;  it  may  be  that  a  book  like  the  "Confession"  of 
John  D.  Lee  shows  not  only  in  vivid  and  startling  colors 
the  organism  of  one  bloody  fanatic  and  his  murderous 
mates,  but  that  it  explains  at  the  same  time,  by  analogy, 
monsters  like  the  Duke  of  Alva;  shows  that  religious 
fanaticism  has  taught  at  all  times  that  crimes  committed 
in  the  name  of  God  are  meritorious,  and  shows,  again, 
that  such  teachings  find  many  believers,  who,  having 
devoted  themselves  to  the  service  of  some  fancied  "  Lord,"' 
can  lie  and  perjure  themselves,  rob  and  butcher,  believing 
that  they  do  the  bidding  of  that  God  whom  Jesus  of 
Nazareth  taught  to  be  a  loving  father  to  all. 

The  witnesses  whose  depositions  are  contained  in  my 
book  have  been,  for  the  most  part,  victims  of  a  great 
delusion.  The  Mormon  missionaries  told  them  in  Europe 
that  the  Gospel  of  Christ  had  been  restored ;  that  mira- 
cles of  all  kinds,  including  the  gift  of  the  Holy  Ghost, 
daily  revelations  of  the  Almighty,  and  scores  of  other 
blessings  would  be  given  to  the  faithful  followers  of  Joseph 
Smith,  the  great  Seer  and  Prophet ;  that  here  in  Utah  was 
the  "home  of  the  pure;"  a  paradise  of  innocence  and 
goodness  ;  nothing  but  brotherly  love,  peace  and  fidelity ; 
that  this  was  the  new  "Zion."  But  when  they  came  here, 
they  saw  a  different  picture.  They  saw  that  Brigham 
Young  was  just  as  Joseph  Smith  had  been,  the  great  shark 
and  that  the  faithful  were  the  carp.  They  did  not  hear 
any  more  of  the  Bible,  as  they  had  heard  in  the  old  country  ; 
in  "Zion"  the  Gospel  was:  Pay  your  tithing,  obey  the 
priesthood  in  all  things ;  ask  never  any  question,  but  do 
as  you  are  told ;  take  more  wives,  and  if  you  have  only  a 
little  one-roomed  log  cabin,  never  mind,  take  wives  and 
build  up  the  Kingdom,  so  that  Brigham  Young  might  soon 
be  king  of  an  independent  State  of  the  Union ;  pay  your 


12 

tithing  and  pay  besides  to  swell  all  kinds  of  donations; 
give  away  your  money;  ask  never  for  an  account,  but  be 
happy  in  your  poverty,  while  the  High  Priesthood  are  liv- 
ing upon  the  fat  of  the  land.  Be  spied  upon  every  day  in  your 
actions  by  the  ' 'teachers,"  and  even  in  your  thoughts, 
and  be  a  spy  yourself  on  your  neighbor ;  see  whether  he  is 
strong  in  the  faith,  and  if  he  is  not,  kill  him — "cut  his 
throat  to  save  his  soul ;  that  is  the  way  to  love  your  neigh- 
bor." *  Hate  your  enemies — "Pray  for  them,"  as  Kim- 
ball  said  publicly;  "yes,  that  God  may  damn  and  destroy 
them" — and  hate  all  that  are  not  of  your  clan.  Hate  all 
that  is  American,  and  swear  terrible  oaths,  in  the  Endow- 
ment House,  that  you  will  avenge  the  blood  of  the  Pro- 
phet on  this  nation.  To  make  it  short:  "You  may  do 
anything,  you  may  be  the  most  brutal  wretch,  you  may 
marry  twenty  wives  and  neglect  one  after  the  other,  you 
may  rob  and  even  kill  your  fellow-citizens  (non-Mormons) 
— if  you  pay  and  obey  you  are  all  right ;  so  long  as  you  do 
this  you  are  a  faithful  and  worthy  brother,  and  sure  of  your 
kingdom  and  eternal  glory  in  the  other  world."  Such 
were  the  public  teachings  in  the  earlier  times  of  the  Utah 
theocracy.  Since  1870  the  talk  and  practice  have  become 
milder,  but  the  principles  are  still  the  same. 

How  could  this  tale,  told  to  me  a  hundred  times  over, 
fail  to  convince  me  that  this  whole  "religion"  was  a  spec- 
ulation to  enrich  a  few,  give  them  gold,  power  and  all  the 
brute  pleasure  hidden  in  the  Greek  word  "polygamy?" 
It  has  convinced  me,  sure  enough ;  because  this  tale  came 
from  the  mouths  of  good,  honest,  sincere  people,  who  had 
"gathered  to  Zion"  full  of  religious  zeal,  who  were  terri- 
bly disappointed,  and  finally,  when  they  showed  a  change 
in  their  opinions,  ostracized,  robbed  and  threatened  with 
violence  and  even  death.  Do  you  suppose,  reader,  that  all 
these  people  lie,  or  is  the  lie.  perhaps,  on  the  other  side  ? 
Is  not  all  the  interest  in  keeping  up  the  original  fraud  and 
the  highly  profitable  system  on  this  other  side  ?  I  should 
think  so. 


*  Literally  quoted  from  the  speeches  of  Brigham  Young,  the  great 
philanthropist. 


Mormon  ism  has  too  long  fooled  the  world,  the  new 
and  the  old.  It  has  too  long  claimed  immunity  as  a 
"religion,"  as  an  honest  religious  faith,  with  the  known 
and  long-established  facts  attending  its  original  fabrication 
and  its  appalling  development.  Is  it  not  indeed  puerile  for 
the  great  Government  of  the  United  States  to  still  contin- 
ue tampering  and  temporizing  with  the  outrageous  fraud 
as  it  has  hitherto  done?  You  prattle  of  ( 'polygamy"  and 
refuse  to  see  the  constant  rebellion  and  treason  ;  you  see  a 
tree  and  are  blind  to  the  forest.  You  like  to  joke  about 
the  "old  monarchical  countries"  and  about  ironclad  Prince 
Bismarck.  But  I  tell  you,  that  he  would  solve  the  "Mor- 
mon Problem"  in  a  week,  while  you  are  puzzled  by  it 
since  fifty  years.  He  would  not,  like  you,  stand  a  help- 
less babe  before  the  high-schools  of  treason  and  licentious- 
ness, called  "Mormon  Temples."  He  would  bid  them 
go,  those  builders  of  the  Kingdom,  and  build  elsewhere. 
Little  Italy  broke  down  the  Pope's  theocracy  and  great 
America  stands  a  giant  gagged  and  pinioned  with  red 
tape  and  circumlocution,  helpless  before  that  of  King 
John  Taylor ! 

But  enough  of  this.  I  simply  transcribe  in  my  book 
what  my  witnesses  have  told  me,  respectable  and  respected 
people,  who  have  been  connected  with  Mormonism  for 
fifty,  forty  and  thirty  years.  I  have  not  doctored  one 
fact  set  forth  in  "Mormon  Portraits."  Let  the  Mormon 
leaders  try  to  prove  that  I  have  lied  or  exaggerated,  but 
do  it  in  a  decent  manner,  gentlemen,  if  you  please.  Don't 
get  angry  when  a  man  expresses  his  honestly  acquired 
conviction.  In  March,  1885,  I  wrote  a  dozen  of  letters 
to  the  great  Berlin  paper,  the  Tageblatt,  published  by  my 
excellent  friend,  Rudolf  Mosse.  It  seems  that  those  letters 
were  extensively  circulated  and  much  read.  At  least  a 
Mormon  missionary,  a  hopeful  son  of  High  Priest  A.  M. 
Musser,  wrote  from  Mannheim  to  his  "very  dear"  father  : 
"In  my  last  letter  I  enclosed  some  clippings  written  by  a 
man  named  Wyl.  The  papers  continue  to  publish  like 
articles  from  him,  strongly  impregnated  with  the  hatred 
and  gall  which  Satan  alone  can  furnish." — (Deseret  News, 
the  official  Church  organ,  May  n,  1885.} 


14 

Now,  this  isn't  fair.  I  have  never  been,  to  my  best 
knowledge,  in  any  literary  connection  with  "Satan,"  and 
I  have  never  had  any  other  than  superficial  knowledge  of 
him,  till  I  got  acquainted  more  intimately  with  some  of 
his  choice  doings,  for  example  the  Yates  and  Aikins 
murders  and  the  Mountain  Meadows  Massacre.  Why 
abuse  a  man  instead  of  fighting  him  with  facts  and  argu- 
ment ?  Let  us  come  to  an  understanding.  I  am  no  ene- 
my of  the  Mormon  people.  On  the  contrary,  I  sympathize 
with  them.  Leading  merchants,  bankers,  etc.,  in  this 
city,  assure  me  that  this  people  are  good-hearted,  indus- 
trious and  honest,  and  I  believe  it  readily.  But  the  Mor- 
mon leaders  are  enemies  of  the  Mormon  people,  enemies 
of  the  United  States,  enemies  of  the  law,  simply  because 
they  do  not  want  to  be  disturbed  in  the  piling  up  of  great 
fortunes,  exercising  absolute  power  and  lordship,  and 
enjoying  the  embraces  of  as  many  "childbearing"  (id  est 
young  and  tender)  concubines  as  they  have  a  mind  to.  I 
admire  this  Territory.  I  never  saw  a  finer  climate,  never 
finer  scenery.  I  find  here  the  breezes  of  Naples  and 
Palermo  and  all  the  grand  sights  of  Switzerland.  This 
should  be  a  country  full  of  independent  men  and  happy 
women,  teeming  with  freely  developed  talent  and  indi- 
vidual enterprise.  The  inhabitants  of  this  paradise  should 
learn  to  think  and  act  for  themselves,  the  women  should 
learn  to  be  men's  equals  and  companions  instead  of  their 
"handmaids."  It  is  the  duty  of  the  Government  of  this 
great  Republic  to  raise  both  men  and  women  of  Utah  to 
the  dignity  of  citizens  truly  free,  and  the  duty  of  every 
honest  writer  to  help  on  so  noble  a  cause  by  telling  the 
truth. 

This  is  the  purpose,  the  only  purpose  of  "Mormon 
Portraits. ' '  I  tell  the  truth  so  far  as  I  have  succeeded  in 
finding  it  by  diligent  and  honest  search. 

W.  WYL. 

SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May,  1886. 


PART  I. 

JOSKPH     SMITH, 

HIS  FAMILY  AND  HIS  FRIENDS. 


I  had  read  of  the  several  movings  and  strange  migra- 
tions of  the  Mormons ;  of  their  troubles  and  turmoils  with 
their  always-persecuting  neighbors;  with  state  and  national 
authorities.  It  was  hard  for  me  to  believe  that  in  free 
America  any  religious  sect  could  be  persecuted  merely  be- 
cause it  was  too  pure  and  good.  Still,  might  not  Mor- 
monism  be  just  the  one  exception  proving  the  rule  of  perfect 
religious  toleration  in  this  most  tolerant  and  easy-going 
Republic  ?  I  resolved  to  examine  the  matter  and  see  for 
myself  on  which  side  was  the  burden  of  wrong-doing,  and 
what  of  truth  there  might  be  in  this  strange  and  continual 
charge  from  the  Mormon  side  of  "persecution."  It  has 
been  my  way  to  study  eccentric  and  exceptional  move- 
ments, political  and  religious,  in  the  personal  characters 
of  the  leading  spirits  of  such  movements. 

Having  applied  my  usual  method  in  the  case  of  Joseph 
Smith  and  his  associates,  I  find  that  the  world  at  large  and 
especially  the  thousands  of  Mormons  in  Utah  know  but 
little  of  the  true  life,  character  and  actions  of  Joseph  Smith 
and  the  ringleaders  of  the  so-called  Mormon  Church  and 
Kingdom.  In  my  investigations  I  learned  to  my  surprise 
that  Mormons  by  the  thousand  have  left  their  leaders  in 


1 6  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  early  times  of  the  Church  and  neither  came  to  Utah 
nor  rejoined  their  ranks.  The  vast  majority  of  the  poor 
dupes  in  Utah  and  surrounding  Territories,  never  having 
passed  through  such  experiences  as  drove  Mormons  by  the 
wholesale  into  rebellion  and  indignant  apostacy,  and  drove 
those  who  continued  steadfast  in  their  infatuation  from 
their  places  of  settlement  and  sojourn  in  Ohio,  Missouri 
and  Illinois,  are  utterly  incredulous,  even  refusing  to  be- 
lieve the  facts  when  recited  and  fully  sustained,  and  thus 
remain  in  profound  and  blissful  ignorance  of  much  they 
ought  to  know,  and  which,  if  known,  would  undoubtedly 
influence  them  to  repudiate  any  institution  making  it  pos- 
sible to  have  committed  such  acts  in  the  name  of  God  and 
religion. 

Stories  and  reports  of  the  criminal  conduct  of  Joseph 
Smith,  Brigham  Young  and  their  henchmen,  did  not  rise 
from  nothing,  but  are  found  to  have  had  their  origin  in 
facts,  which  can  be  fully  established  and  proven  under  the 
rules  of  historical  investigation  and  criticism,  Let  me  first 
introduce  those  of  my  witnesses  who  knew  Joseph  Smith's 
parents.  It  must  be  interesting  to  the  reader  to  know  the 
tree  from  which  fell  this  prodigious  apple. 


THE  PROPHET'S  PARENTS. 


The  Old  Patriarch  and  B lesser,  Joseph  Smith,  Sr.—A 
Mother  of  Lies — A  Pair  of  Splendid  Gypsies— The 
Father  of  the  Prophet  Lectures  on  Money -Digging  and 
Geology. 

Mrs.  P.  states:  "Joseph's  father,  the  first  Patriarch 
(if  not  President)  of  the  Mormon  '  Church/  was  very 
tall ;  his  crooked  nose  was  very  prominent ;  he  was  a  real 
peasant,  without  any  education.  Joseph  looked  very 
much  like  him.  Old  Smith  sold  the  blessings,  which  he 
used  to  pronounce  on  the  heads  of  the  faithful,  at  $3 
apiece,  and  sold  a  good  many  of  them  for  years." 


A  Pair  of  Splendid  Gypsies.  1 7 

Mr.  W.  states:  "I  knew  old  father  Smith  \yhen  he 
was  about  eighty  years  old ;  he  was  a  great  fanatic,  and 
believed  that  Joseph  was  inspired  from  his  boyhood  on." 

Mrs.  P.  states  :  "  Joseph's  mother  was  a  little  woman ; 
she  looked  very  vulgar.  She  was  full  of  low  cunning ; 
no  trick  was  too  mean  for  her  to  make  a  little  money. 
You  could  not  believe  a  word  of  what  she  said.  She  used 
to  talk  a  great  deal  about  Mormonism.  Everybody's 
opinion  of  her  was,  that  she  was  a  thorough  liar.  Her 
daughter  wrote  that  book  about  Joseph  for  her.  She  and 
her  husband  looked  like  a  pair  of  splendid  gypsies.  They 
looked  wild  and  ignorant.  Seeing  them,  nobody  could 
doubt  the  stories  about  their  money-digging,  fortune- 
telling,  etc." 

Now,  this  is  rather  hard  on  the  old  couple.  I  know 
that  the  excellent  lady  who  gave  me  these  details  spoke 
the  absolute  truth,  but  I  cannot  enjoy  it.  I  rather  like 
old  "Mr.  Smith"  and  Mrs.  Lucy  Smith,  nee  Mack.  Why 
admire  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Micawber  and  be  hard  on  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Smith?  They  are  splendid  people  in  their  way. 
Lying  was  as  natural  to  them  as  drinking  water,  and  they 
do  it  in  a  delightful  way;  it's  prestidigitation  with  the 
truth,  you  see ;  artistic  skill,  acquired  by  a  life's  practice. 
Just  read  old  Lucy's  book  on  Joseph  the  prophet,  for  in- 
stance where  she  tells  that  Mrs.  Harris  wanted  to  force 
money  on  her,  and  that  she  refused  it  scornfully ;  read 
her  description  of  the  "breast-plate,"  which  she  valued 
at  five  hundred  dollars,  and  that  other  of  the  "  Urim  and 
Thummim,"  which  consisted  of  "three-cornered  dia- 
monds set  in  glass."  And  Joseph  wore  them  always  on 

his  person It  is  not  vulgar  lying,  it  is  the  talent 

of  Sheherezade,  without  the  bloody  Sultan,  and  without 
—  alas  !  — the  dreamy  atmosphere  of  the  Orient. 

Old  "Mr.  Smith"  is  the  Micawber  of  the  family. 
His  imagination  is  an  Ophir  of  delightful  absurdities, 
hatched  in  an  atmosphere  filled  with  the  sound  of  the 
urgent  but  never-heeded  claims  of  his  countless  creditors. 
I  will  give  you  one  example  of  his,  a  little  lecture  on 
money-digging,  with  a  smack  of  geological  discoveries  of 
his  own,  showing  a  real  but  neglected  talent  for  this 


1 8  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

branch  of  science.     Peter  Ingersoll,  an  old  acquaintance 
of  his,  puts  it  in  this  shape:* 

"  I  was  once  ploughing  near  the  house  of  old  Joseph  Smith.  When 
about  noon,  he  requested  me  to  walk  with  him  a  short  distance  from 
his  house,  for  the  purpose  of  seeing  whether  a  mineral  rod  would 
work  in  my  hand,  saying  at  the  same  time  he  was  confident  it  would. 
When  we  arrived  near  the  place  at  which  he  thought  there  was 
money,  he  cut  a  small  witch-hazel  bush  and  gave  me  direction  how  to 
hold  it.  He  then  went  oft  some  rods,  and  told  me  to  say  to  the  rod, 
'  Work  to  the  money?  which  I  did  in  an  audible  voice.  He  rebuked 
me  severely  for  speaking  it  loud,  and  said  it  must  be  said  in  a 
whisper.  While  the  old  man  was  standing  off  some  rods,  throwing 
himself  into  various  shapes,  I  told  him  the  rod  did  not  work.  He 
seemed  much  surprised  at  this,  and  said  he  thought  he  saw  it  move  in 
my  hand.  .  .  .  Another  time  he  told  me  the  best  time  for  digging 
money  was  in  the  heat  of  summer,  when  the  heat  of  the  sun  caused 
the  chests  of  money  to  rise  near  the  top  of  the  ground.  '  You  notice,' 
said  he,  *  the  large  stones  on  the  top  of  the  ground  —  we  call  them 
rocks,  and  they  truly  appear  so,  but  they  are,  in  fact,  most  of  them, 
chests  of  money  raised  by  the  heat  of  the  sun." 

Now,  let  us  compare  a  little  tale  of  Mother  Lucy's 
with  one  of  Abigail  Harris  : 

LUCY  SMITH.  ABIGAIL  HARRIS. 

"Joseph  Smith  the  Prophet"  page     Affidavit  dated  Palmyra^  Nov.  28, 
no.  1 833. 

"  She  (  Mrs.  Harris  )  com-  "  Old  Lucy  Smith  took  me 
menced  urging  upon  me  a  con-  into  another  room,  and  after  clos- 
siderable  sum  of  money,  I  think  ing  the  door,  said :  '  Have  you 
some  seventy-five  dollars,  to  assist  four  or  five  dollars  that  you  can 
in  getting  the  plates  translated.  I  lend  until  our  (Gold  Bible)  busi- 
told  her  that  I  came  on  no  such  ness  is  brought  to  a  close  ?  The 
business ;  that  I  did  not  want  her  Spirit  has  said  that  you  shall  re- 
money.  .  .  .  Yet  she  was  deter-  ceive  fourfold.'  I  asked  her  what 
mined  to  assist  in  the  business,  for  her  particular  want  of  money  was, 
she  said  she  knew  that  we  should  to  which  she  replied  :  '  Joseph 
want  money,  and  she  could  spare  wants  to  take  the  stage  and  come 
two  hundred  dollars  as  well  as  home  from  Pennsylvania  to  see 
not."  what  we  are  all  about.'  To  which 

I  replied,  he  might  look  in  his 
stone,  and  save  his  time  and 
money.  The  old  lady  seemed 
confused,  and  left  the  room." 

*  Affidavit  dated  Palmyra,  Dec.  2.  1833. 


Astrology  and  Atheism.  19 

This  surely  shows  talent,  or  I  don't  understand  any- 
thing about  such  things.  But  let  us  leave  the  humble 
parents,  and  turn  to  the  great  son,  irreverently  called  1)y 
the  wicked,  "Joe  Smith." 


VIEWS  OF  JOSEPH  SMITH. 


The  Prophet  Believes  in  Astrology — Laughs  Heartily  About 
Mormonism — Does  not  know  what  the  other  World  will 
be — Elder  .Rockwell's  Curiosity. 


There  are  two  things  you  would  naturally  expect  from 
a  prophet.  First,  a  belief  in  some  sort  of  a  religion,  and 
then  a  belief  in  his  own  particular  shop.  Now,  Joseph 
Smith  didn't  believe  in  any  religion,  he  had  no  hopes  of  a 
future  life,  and  as  to  Mormonism,  he  laughed  about  it  just 
as  you  would  expect  from  an  impostor  who  had,  as  he  said 
himself,  "fixed  the  damned  fools,"  and  "wanted  to  carry 
out  the  fun."  The  only  thing  the  Prophet  believed  in 
was  astrology.  This  is  a  fact  generally  known  to  old 
"Nauvoo  Mormons."  Wm.  Clayton,  his  chief  clerk,  used 
to  cast  figures  and  make  calculations  for  him.  Brigham 
Young  copied  Joseph  in  this  as  in  many  other  things. 

John  C.  Bennett  says  in  his  book:  "I  will  mention  a 
short  conversasion  that  passed  between  Joseph  and  myself, 
as  we  were  one  day  riding  together  up  the  banks  of  the 
Mississippi.  After  a  short  interval  of  silence,  Smith  sud- 
denly said  to  me,  in  a  peculiarly  inquiring  manner :  '  Gen- 
eral Harris  says  you  have  no  faith,  and  that  you  do  not 
believe  we  shall  ever  obtain  our  inheritances  in  Jackson 
County,  Missouri. '  Though  somewhat  perplexed  by  the 
Prophet's  remark,  and  still  more  by  his  manner,  I  coldly 
replied  :  '  What  does  Harris  know  about  my  belief  or  the 
real  state  of  my  mind?  I  like  to  tease  him  now  and  then 
about  it,  as  he  is  so  firm  in  the  faith  and  takes  it  all  in 
such  good  part.'  'Well,1  said  Joe,  laughing  heartily, 


2o  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

'I  guess  you  have  got  about  as  much  faith  as  I  have. 
Ha !  Ha !  Ha ! '  'I  should  judge  about  as  much, '  was  my 
reply."  (This  anecdote,  told  by  Bennett,  pp.  175  and 
176  of  his  book,  was  fully  confirmed  to  me  by  Mrs.  Sar- 
ah Pratt,  to  whom  it  was  told  by  Bennett  shortly  after  the 
dialogue  occurred.) 

Mr.  Johnson  told  me  in  the  presence  of  Lawyer  Jonas- 
son,  now  deceased,  thi  following  story:  "  Port  Rockwell > 
who  used  to  be  Joseph's  coachman  and  factotum  in  Nau- 
voo,  once  asked  the  Prophet  the  following  question  : 
1  Brother  Joseph,  how  is  it  in  in  the  other  world  ?  '  Joseph 
said  in  answer:  ' Don't  you  bother,  Brother  Rockwell, 
about  the  other  world ;  try  co  be  as  comfortable  as  possi- 
ble in  this  and  make  the  most  of  it ;  nobody  knows  what 
the  other  world  will  be."  Mr.  Johnson  was  a  guard  at  the 
Penitentiary,  and  having  heard  that  Rockwell  had  made 
such  a  statement,  he  went  to  him  and  asked  him,  whether 
the  Prophet  had  really  expressed  himself  in  such  a  man- 
ner. Rockwell  confirmed  fully  what  he  had  told  to  others, 
and  repeated  Joseph's  answer  word  for  word." 


JOSEPH  SMITH  AND  HIS  PLATES. 


The  Prophet's  Curious  Proposition  to  His  Bosom  Friend, 
Bennett — The  Same  Fully  Confirmed  by  Mrs.  Pratt. 


The  truth  about  the  golden  plates,  from  which  Joseph 
pretended  to  "  translate  "  the  Book  of  Mormon,  has  been 
established  since  1834,  by  E.  D.  Howe.  I  give  the  sub- 
stance of  the  very  curious  affidavits,  obtained  by  him 
from  Smith's  neighbors,  in  the  Appendix  to  Part  I.  of  this 
book.  There  were  never  any  plates  of  any  kind.  The 
book,  a  stupid  historical  novel,  was  written  by  Solomon 
Spaulding,  stolen  and  "  religiously  "  remodeled  by  Sidney 
Rigdon  and  published  through  Joseph  Smith,  whose  wide- 
spread fame  as  "  Peeper  "  and  "  Treasure-finder  "  enabled 
him  admirably  to  assume  the  role  of  discoverer  of  golden 
plates.  Sidney  Rigdon  was  a  man  of  taste  in  the  matter 


Joseph    Wants  False  Plates.  21 

of  choosing  the  right  kind  of  a  rascal  to  do  his  dirty 
jobs.  But  he  failed  in  one  respect ;  he  thought  he  found 
a  tool  and  he  really  found  a  master  in  Peeping  Joe. 

Now  it  will  surely  be  interesting  to  the  reader,  that 
I  can  not  only  convict  Joseph  Smith  out  of  his  own 
mouth,  giving  his  full  confession  of  the  original  fraud, 
but  I  am  also  able  to  show  that  he  contemplated  an  addi- 
tional fraud-  with  the  "plates,"  and  that,  as  usual,  he 
thought  to  make  a  pile  of  money  out  of  the  second  fraud, 
too.  The  witness  in  the  case  is  Joseph's  Nauvoo  accom- 
plice, Dr.  John  C.  Bennett.  Those  who  would  refuse  his 
testimony,  will  not  be  able  to  contradict  that  of  Mrs. 
Sarah  Pratt. 

Bennett  says:  *' Shortly  after  I  located  in  Nauvoo, 
Joe  proposed  to  me  to  go  to  New  York  and  get  some 
plates  engraved  and  bring  them  to  him,  so  that  he  could 
exhibit  them  as  the  genuine  plates  of  the  Book  of  Mor- 
mon, which  he  pretended  had  been  tak'en  from  him,  and 
'  hid  up '  by  an  angel,  and  which  he  would  profess  to 
have  recovered.  He  calculated  to  make  considerable 
money  by  this  trick,  as  there  would  of  course  be  a  great 
anxiety  to  see  the  plates,  which  he  intended  to  exhibit  at 
twenty-five  cents  a  sight.  I  mentioned  this  proposition  to 
Mrs.  Sarah  M.  Pratt,  on  the  day  the  Prophet  made  it, 
and  requested  her  to  keep  it  in  memory,  as  it  might  be 
of  much  importance."  When  asked  by  me  in  the  spring 
of  1885  about  this  statement  of  John  C.  Bennett,  Mrs. 
Pratt  confirmed  it  fully  and  stated  also  that  Bennett  had 
reported  to  her  this  conversation  with  Joseph  on  the  very 
day  when  it  happened. 


JOSEPH  LIKES  HIS  GLASS. 


The  Prophet  Gets  Drunk  Now  and  Then — His  Sprees  and 
A dventures — '  1A wfully  Funny. ' ' 


Let  Bacchus  to  Venus  libations   pour  forth  and  vive  la 
Let  the  sober  historian  of  Joseph  paint  him 


22  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

as  he  was.  Who  could  be  vindictive  or  malicious  with 
such  an  eccentric  as  Joe  ?  The  prophet  with  all  his  vices 
and  wickednesses  was  yet  neither  malicious  nor  vindictive. 
He  had  a  very  strong,  healthy  stomach,  excellent  diges- 
tion. He  was  almost  the  very  antipode  of  dyspeptic, 
reticent  Brother  Brigham.  Joseph  dearly  loved  the  social 
glass.  Brigham  much  preferred  a  flowing  bowl  of — oat- 
meal porridge.  The  great  prophet  of  this  dispensation 
of  the  fullness  of  time  was  a  real  Bacchant.  Perhaps  he 
thought  with  his  long-time  bDsom-crony,  the  famous  O. 
Porter  Rockwell,  Esq.,  that  he  should  "  lose  the  spirit  and 
testimony  of  Mormonism,"  if  not  "steamed  up."  The 
intelligent  reader  of  this  book  will  not  fail  to  see  that  the 
inspiring  deities  of  Joseph  were  rather  Venus,  Bacchus 
"and  Pluto,  than  the  pretended  Scriptural  Trinity  of 
Father,  Son  and  Holy  Spirit. 

Mrs.  P.:  "A  good  deal  of  whisky  was  consumed  in 
Nauvoo.  Joe  himself  was  often  drunk.  I  have  seen  him 
in  this  state  at  different  times.  One  evening  one  of  the 
brethren  brought  Joseph  to  my  home.  He  could  not  walk 
and  had  to  be  led  by  a  helpful  brother.  The  prophet  asked 
me  to  make  some  strong  coffee,  which  I  did.  He  drank 
five  cups,  and  when  he  felt  that  he  could  walk  a  little 
better,  he  went  home.  He  dared  not  come  before  Emma 
in  this  state.  Joseph  was  no  habitual  drunkard,  but  he 
used  to  get  on  sprees.  When  drunk  he  used  to  be  'awfully 
funny.'  He  sometimes  went  to  bed  with  his  boots  on." 

Mr.  W.:  "Whisky,  good  whisky,  was  then  25  cents 
a  gallon.  No  wonder  that  Joseph  sometimes  went  to  bed 
with  his  boots  on,  or  that  he  slept,  as  he  sometimes  did,  in 
a  ditch.  He  was  a  right  jolly  prophet.  No  sanctimonious 
humbug  about  him." 

Mrs.J.:  "Joseph  used  to  preach:  'Brethren  and 
sisters,  I  got  drunk  last  week  and  fell  in  the  ditch.  I  sup- 
pose you  have  heard  of  it.  I  am  awfully  sorry,  but  I  felt 
very  good.7  He  used  to  get  drunk  on  military  occasions, 
after  the  parades  of  the  Nauvoo  Legion." 


A  Jolly  Prophet.  23 

JOSEPH  THE  WRESTLER. 


Joseph  and  the  Tax  Collector — Passion  for  Fine  Horses — 
Foot-Races — The  U.  S.  A.  Major — Two  Reverends 
Who  do  not  Want  to  Wrestle. 


No,  there  was  no  holy  humbug  about  Joseph.  He 
made  no  "  long  face/'  he  gave  himself  as  the  jolly  brigand 
he  was,  and  that  is  what  made  him  loved  and  admired  by 
the  motley  crowd  of  impecunious  vagabonds  and  adven- 
turers that  surrounded  him.  Brigham  was,  though  al- 
ways obeyed,  feared  and  hated  by  his  "friends;17  they 
knew  that  he  would  sacrifice  anything  and  anyone  to  his 
passion  for  (gold ;  but  Joseph  was  a  good  comrade  in  the 
midst  of  brigands  of  a  lower  order ;  they  admired  his  phys- 
ical strength  and  agility  and  loved  his  jolly,  cordial  ways. 
He  had  physical  courage,  he  even  died  game,  while  Brig- 
ham  was  the  greatest  coward  of  his  time,  the  greatest 
among  a  whole  set  of  cowards  like  Geo.  A.  Smith  and  the 
rest  of  them.  There  was  something  of  Macbeth  in  that 
fellow  Joseph  and  he  died  like  Mac.  But  hear  our  wit- 
nesses : 

Mr.  K. :  "A  tax  collector  once  asked  a  certain  amount 
from  Joseph  ;  he  stopped  the  prophet,  who  was  riding  in 
his  carriage.  Joseph  said  that  he  had  paid  him  and  owed 
him  nothing.  The  collector  said  :  "  If  you  say  this,  you 
are  a  liar."  Joseph  jumped  out  of  his  carriage  and  struck 
the  collector  such  a  blow  that  he  went  flying  a  distance 
of  three  or  four  yards.  Joseph  took  his  seat  in  the  carn- 
age and  drove  away." 

Mrs.  P. :  "  Joseph  had  a  passion  for  fine  horses.  He 
had  a  fine  carriage.  He  used  to  drive  the  buggy  himself, 
but  the  carriage  was  generally  driven  by  a  coachman." 

Mr.  K. :  "Charlie"  was  the  favorite  family  horse; 
Emma  used  to  drwe  him.  Emma  often  rode  on  horseback 
in  company  with  Joseph,  especially  on  military  parades. 
Joseph  was  always  ready  to  show  his  force  and  cleverness 


24  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

in  some  sport.  He  liked  foot  races  and  would  have  his 
boots  off  in  a  moment,  to  the  great  grief  of  old  bigots.  I 
remember  the  visit  of  a  U.  S.  A.  major,  who  came  as  a 
guest  to  the  Nauvoo  House.  The  major  was  of  higher 
build  than  Joseph,  but  not  so  strong  as  the  prophet.  Joseph 
wanted  to  wrestle  with  him.  He  threw  off  his  coat  and 
cried :  'I  bet  you  five  dollars  that  I  will  throw  you,  come 
on  !'  The  major  declined.  Joseph  laughed  and  said  : 
'  Now  you  see  the  benefit  of  one  's  being  a  projjhet ;  I 
knew  you  wouldn't  wrestle,'  One  of  the  Saints  felt  so 
scandalized  by  this  joke  of  the  prophet  that  he  left  the 
Church." 

"Two  reverends  came  one  day  to  Nauvoo.  They 
wanted  to  see  the  Prophet  and  to  hear  the  principles  he 
was  teaching.  Joseph  took  them  to  his  study,  and  talked 
to  them  about  repentance,  baptism,  remission  of  sins,  etc. 
The  two  reverends  interrupted  Joseph  frequently.  After 
half-an-hour  or  so,  getting  impatient  the  Prophet  said  to 
the  two  holy  men,  while  he  stood  up  in  his  full  hight : 
'  Gentlemen,  I  am  not  much  of  a  theologian,  but  I  bet 
you  five  dollars,  that  I  will  throw  you  one  after  the  other/ 
The  reverends  ran  away  and  Joseph  laughed  himself  nearly 
to  death." 


JOSEPH  AS  A  STUDENT. 


A  Poor  Writer  and  Reader — Little  Tricks  Played  by 
Him  and  the  Elders — Study  of  Hebrew  —  KimbaW  s 
Desperate  Fight  With  Grammar. 


When,  surely  to  his  own  surprise,  arrived  at  the  hight 
of  his  ambition,  Joseph,  who  was  naturally  "smart,"  felt 
keenly  the  want  of  some  ornamental  learning.  £s  usual 
he  decided  to  make  the  world  believe  that  he  had  what, 
in  fact,  he  had  not.  He  did  in  this  respect  just  the  same 
thing  which  he  had  done  in  regard  to  plates,  apparitions 
of  angels,  etc.  Let  the  witnesses  talk  : 


The  Prophet  Photographed.  25 

Mrs.  P.:  "  Joseph  was  a  very  poor  writer  and  reader. 
He  readily  confessed  this ;  it  was  a  fulfillment  of  Scrip- 
ture." 

Mr.  W.:  "Joseph  was  the  calf  that  sucked  three 
cows.  He  acquired  knowledge  very  rapidly,  and  learned 
with  special  facility  all  the  tricks  of  the  scoundrels  who 
worked  in  his  company.  He  soon  outgrew  his  teachers. 
He  studied  Hebrew,  he  wanted  to  be  fit  for  his  place  and 
enjoy  the  profits  and  power  alone.  He  learned  by  heart 
a  number  of  Latin,  Greek  and  French  common-place 
phrases,  to  use  them  in  his  speeches  and  sermons.  For 
instance  :  Vox  populi^  vox  diaboli  ;  or  Laus  Dens  (sic)  or 
amor  vincet  omnium  (stc),  as  quoted  in  the  Nauvoo 
'  Wasp.'  Joseph  kept  a  learned  Jew  in  his  house  for  a  long 
time  for  the  purpose  of  studying  Hebrew  with  him ; 
the  Jew  used  to  teach  his  language  in  a  room  of  the 
-Temple"  to  Joseph  and  a  number  of  the  elders."  It 
was  probably  his  rapidly  augmenting  knowledge  of  the 
sciences,  that  made  him  say,  a  few  months  before  his 
death  :  '  /  know  more  than  the  whole  world. '  "I  taught 
him  the  first  rules  of  English  Grammar  in  Kirtland  in 
1834.  He  learned  rapidly,  while  Heber  C.  Kimball 
never  came  to  understand  the  difference  between  noun 
and  verb." 


JOSEPH'S  HABITS,  APPEARANCE,  ETC. 


The  Prophet  at  Table— Uses  Tobacco — Is  Well  Dressed 
—  The  Prophet '  s  Jewelry — The  Prophet  on  Horseback 
— His  Laughter — His  Conversation. 


Mrs*  P.:  "Joseph  was  no  gourmand  at  all.  He  ate 
heartily,  but  was  not  particular  about  the  kind  of  food. 
I  believe  that  he  used  tobacco  in  some  form.  He  was 
always  well  dressed,  generally  in  black  with  a  white  neck- 
tie. He  looked  like  a  Reverend.  On  the  little  finger 


26  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

of  his  left  hand  he  wore  a  heavy  gold  ring  ;  he  wore  a 
gold  watch  and  chain  ;  people  used  to  make  him  presents 
of  such  things.  When  I  saw  him  for  the  first  time  he 
rode  on  a  splendid  black  horse  that  had  been  given  to 
him  by  some  admirer.  He  was  a  very  good  horseman. 
He  was,  when  walking,  very  lank  and  loose  in  his  appear- 
ance and  movements." 

Mr.  K.:  "  People  coming  to  Nauvoo  expected  to 
find  a  kind  of  John  the  Baptist,  but  they  found  a  very 
jolly  prophet.  He  used  to  laugh  from  the  crown  of  his 
head  to  the  soles  of  his  feet,  it  shook  every  bit  of  flesh 
in  him." 

Mrs  P.:  "  Joseph  did  not  talk  much  in  society,  his 
talk  was  not  very  fluent.  He  used  to  make  a  remark  now 
and  then,  letting  the  others  talk.  Whenever  he  spoke  of 
Church  affairs,  his  talk  grew  intelligent.  He  had  no 
great  choice  of  words,  and  generally  expressed  his  ideas 
in  a  very  humble,  common-place  way.  At  all  events,  he 
was  by  no  means  interesting  in  company.  It  looked  as  if 
he  wanted  to  keep  those  who  surrounded  him  in  respect 
by  talking  little." 


JOSEPH  AS  A  PREACHER. 


Strong  Voice,  no  Oratorical  Art,  but  much  Magnetism 
—  Gets  very  Pale — Joseph  and  Brigham  Young  Com- 
pared. 

There  was  an  old  Dane  in  a  Mormon  settlement.  He 
had  half  a  dozen  buxom  daughters  ;  one  of  them  had  been 
sealed  to  the  bishop.  Whenever  the  bishop  was  absent 
from  his  flock,  the  old  Dane  used  to  preach  in  his  stead  in 
the  Sunday  meeting.  Once — the  bishop  was  in  Salt  Lake 
— our  old  Dane  goes  on  the  "  stand  "  with  a  letfer  in  his 
hand.  "The  Bishop  writes  from  Salt  Lake,"  says  he, 
"  that  Brother  Brigham  does  not  want  any  round  dancing 
any  more.  The  bishop  writes  that  this  command  must  be 


Mahomet  and  His  Army.  27 

obeyed.  The  bishop  is  the  representative  of  God  and  I 
am  his  father-in-law.  Amen."  This  may  be  taken  as  no 
unfair  example  of  "  preaching ' '  as  introduced  by  the  found- 
er of  this  motley  "  creed."  Joseph  used  to  say  whatever 
came  on  his  tongue,  and  so  do  all  who  are  Joseph's.  Jokes 
and  curses,  meekness  and  bravado,  temporal  and  spiritual, 
the  Holy  Ghost  and  stock-raising,  irrigation  and  baptism 
for  the  dead — all  is  "preaching." 

Mr.  K.:  "Joseph's  voice  was  very  strong  and  could 
easily  fill  the  remotest  corner  of  a  big  hall." 

Mrs.  P.:  "  Joseph  was  no  orator.  He  said  what  he 
wanted  to  say  in  a  very  blundering  sort  of  way.  John 
Taylor  is  the  best  speaker  the  Church  ever  had.  Joseph 
had  great  magnetic  influence  over  his  audience,  more  than 
Brigham  ever  had.  He  had  uncommon  gifts  in  this  line; 
he  was  what  spiritualists  call  a  strong  medium.  His  eyes 
had  nothing  particular.  When  excited  in  speaking,  he 
used  to  get  very  pale.  The  Saints  thought  that  this  change 
of  colour  came  through  the  influence  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
Whenever  he  had  been  'tight,'  he  used  to  confess  it  in 
next  Sunday's  meeting.  In  the  same  way  he  confessed 
often  that  he  had  been  wrong  in  some  act.  Brigham  never 
did  such  a  thing.  But  Joseph  lied  at  the  same  time,  stat- 
ing that  he  had  done  so  to  try  the  faith  of  the  Saints.  The 
Lord  would  have  a  tried  people." 


JOSEPH  AS  A  GENERAL. 


Lots  of  Generals — Colonel  Orson  Pratt — The  Modern 
Mahomet — A  Terrible  General  Order — "Blood  must 
be  Shed" — Fine  Uniforms — A  Jolly  General. 


Yes,  he  was  even  a  general  at  Nauvoo,  not. only  a  "pro- 
phet, seer  and  revelator."  There  were  innumerable  col- 
onels in  the  Nauvoo  Legion  ;  even  dreamy  Orson  Pratt 
bore  that  warlike  title.  But  Joseph  and  his  next  friends 


28  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

were  generals,  of  course.      And  he  looked  fine  in  his  mili- 
tary rig-out,  to  be  sure. 

I  quote  from  a  letter  in  the  New  York  Herald,  dated 
Nauvoo,  May  8,  1842: 

"Yesterday  was  a  great  day  among  the  Mormons.  Their  Legion, 
to  the  number  of  two  thousand  men,  was  paraded  by  Generals  Smith, 
Bennett  and  others,  and  certainly  made  a  noble  and  imposing  appear- 
ance. There  are  no  troops  in  the  States  like  them  in  point  of  enthusi- 
asm and  warlike  aspect,  yea,  warlike  character Joseph,  the  chief, 

is  a  noble-looking  fellow,  a  Mahomet  every  inch  of  him." 

It  was  in  perfect  keeping  with  this  style,  when  Hugh 
McFall,  Adjutant  General,  gave  the  following  "General 
Order"  at  "Head-Quarters,  Nauvoo  Legion,"  "by  order 
of  Lieut. -General  Joseph  Smith:" 

"  The  requisition  from  the  Executive  of  Missouri,  on  the  Execu- 
tive of  Illinois,  for  the  person  of  the  Lieutenant-General  for  the 
attempted  assassination  of  ex -Governor  Boggs,  makes  it  necessary  that 
the  most  able  and  experienced  officers  should  be  in  the  field,  for  if  the 
demand  should  be  persisted  in,  BLOOD  MUST  BE  SHED." 

Hear  now  a  living  witness : 

Mrs.  P.:  "There  was  a  great  deal  of  gold  on  his 
uniform.  Bennett  was  the  man  who  introduced  this  grand 
style,  he  always  wanted  everything  of  the  finest ;  they  both 
rigged  themselves  out  wonderfully.  The  Nauvoo  Legion 
looked  very  well.  Bennett  understood  parading  thorough- 
ly. Bennett  did  not  look  well  on  a  horse,  but  Joseph 
looked  splendid,  and  so  did  c  General'  Hyrum.  Not- 
withstanding all  this  style,  Joseph  was  very  cordial  with 
everybody,  shook  hands  with  all  the  world,  and  was  always 
addressed  'Brother  Joseph.'  The  people  fairly  adored 
him." 


No  Help  for  the  Widow's  Son.  29 

JOSEPH  AS  A  PRESIDENTIAL  CANDIDATE. 


Joseph's  Vertigo  at  Nauvoo —  The  "Times  and  Seasons" 
in  May  and  in  June,  1844  —  Danite  John  D.  Lee  as 
Canvasser — The  Cry  of  a  Mason. 


Joseph  got  crazy  about  his  greatness  in  Nauvoo.  His 
general's  uniform,  the  Urim  and  Thummim,  the  Plates, 
the  Breastplate,  Laban's  sword  —  all  went  to  his  head  at 
once  and  made  a  fool  of  him.  In  this  state  of  vertigo  he 
conceived  the  glorious  idea  to.  be  a  candidate  for  the 
Presidency  of  the  United  States.  It  is  a  very  curious 
sight,  that  announcement*  in  the  Times  and  Seasons  : 

FOR    PRESIDENT, 

GENERAL  JOSEPH  SMITH. 

FOR    VICE-PRESIDENT, 

SIDNEY  RIGDON,  ESQ. 

The  greatest  impostors  and  swindlers  of  the  time,  as 
bidders  for  the  highest  gifts  of  the  Nation  !  And,  looking 
over  the  yellowish  leaves  of  the  same  Church  organ,  to 
see  only  a  few  numbers  later  the  sacred  columns  in  mourn- 
ing, announcing  the  tragic  death  of  the  great  candidate  ! 

Well,  he  has  paid  for  his  crimes  and  his  follies  !  Let 
us  honor  death,  even  in  the  corpse  of  an  impostor.  At 
that  moment,  when  he  cried  out  of  the  window  of  Carth- 
age jail:  "Is  there  no  help  for  the  widow's  son?" 
hoping  to  find  mercy  from  the  hands  of  some  brother 
Mason,  he  felt  the  bitterness  of  death  as  keenly  as  it  can 
be  felt.  In  this  terrible  moment  he  must  have  become 

*And  this  announcement  was  a  lie.  Joseph  presents  himself  "  of 
Illinois,"  but  Sidney  Rigdon,  who  had  resided  with  Joseph  all  the 
time  in  Nauvoo,  hails  "  of  Pennsylvania."  This  was  done  to  satisfy 
the  well-known  necessity  of  naming  two  different  States.  "  They 
can't  do  a  thing  without  lying !  "  as  an  old  apostate  said  to  me  the 
other  day,  with  flaming  eyes  and  clenched  fist. 


30  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

aware  that  the  hour  of  his  own  "  blood  atonement  "  had 
come,  the  hour  of  payment  of  his  tremendous  debt  to 
outraged,  swindled,  robbed  and  murdered  humanity. 

Joseph  sent  337  elders  to  canvass  for  him  all  over  the 
country.  John  D.  Lee  was  one  of  them,  and  though  an 
admirer  of  the  Prophet,  he  says  in  his  book,  pp.  148-149: 
"I  left  Nauvoo  on  the  fourth  of  May,  1844,  with  greater 
reluctance  than  I  had  on  any  previous  mission.  It  was 
hard  enough  to  preach  the  gospel  without  purse  or  scrip, 
but  it  was  nothing  compared  to  offering  a  man  with  the 
reputation  that  Joseph  Smith  had,  to  the  people  as  a  can- 
didate for  the  highest  gift  of  the  Nation.  I  would  a 
thousand  times  rather  have  been  shut  up  in  jail  than  to 
have  taken  the  trip,  but  I  dared  not  refuse." 

Mrs.  P.:  "The  Mormons  found  it  very  natural  that 
Joseph  Smith  wanted  to  be  President  of  the  United  States, 
and  Sidney  Rigdon  Vice-President.  They  thought  the 
time  was  sure  to  come  soon  when  he  would  be  at  the  head 
of  the  Nation.  This  belief  was  part  of  their  fanaticism, 
Joseph  and  Sidney  spoke  in  public  about  their  candi- 
dacies, and  gave  instructions  to  the  elders  whom  they 
sent  abroad.  They  said  they  would  soon  get  the  whole 
United  States,  and  then  they  would  make  laws  to  suit 
themselves;  and  the  people  believed  what  they  said." 


JOSEPH  AND  NERO  BOGGS. 

"The  Land  of  Your  Enemies" —  The  House  of  Israel 
Claiming  the  State  of  Missouri — A  Noble  Deed — 
"Lend Me  Your  Husband's  Rifle"— Elder  Rockwell's 
Reward. 


Missouri  was  to  be  the  Canaan  of  the  Saints.  "  My 
servants  Sidney  and  Joseph  ' '  had  promised  it  to  them  a 
thousand  times,  just  as  Don  Quixote  promised  to  Sancho 
Panza  the  idol  of  his  wishes,  the  island.  Look  at  the 
"revelation"  of  June,  1831,  where  the  Lord  speaks  to 
the  elders  assembled  in  Kirtland : 


The  Mormon   Troubles  Explained.  31 

"  And  thus,  even  as  I  have  said,  if  ye  are  faithful,  ye  shall  as- 
semble yourselves  together  to  rejoice  upon  the  land  of  Missouri, 
which  is  now  THE  LAND  OF  YOUR  ENEMIES." 

And  the  same  Lord,  who  is  evidently  a  first-class 
Mormon  himself,  says  to  the  same  elders  in  February, 
1831  : 

"  For  it  shall  come  to  pass,  that  which  I  spake  by  the  mouth  of 
my  prophet,  shall  be  fulfilled ;  for  I  will  consecrate  the  riches  of  the 
Gentiles  unto  my  people  which  are  of  the  House  of  Israel." 

Now  let  any  person  possessed  of  common  sense  read 
these  two  communications  of  the  Mormon  Lord,  and  he 
will  need  no  other  explanation  of  the  "  Mormon  war  "  in 
Missouri  and  of  the  tribulations  and  turmoils  of  the 
Saints  in  general.  Everywhere  they  go,  there  is  "  Zion  "; 
what  is  not  theirs,  is  their  "  enemies'  "  and  what  is  their 
"enemies'"  must  become  theirs.  It  did  not  take  the 
Missourians  long  to  find  out  the  kind  intentions  of  the 
"  House  of  Israel  "  towards  them,  and  a  civil  war  with  its 
attending  horrors  ensued.  Boggs,  a  faithful  officer  of 
the  metal  of  our  Murray,  found  out  soon  that  quick 
amputation  was  the  only  method  of  healing  this  case  of 
blood  poisoning.  He  gave  his  celebrated  order  to  drive 
the  Mormons  away  or,  "if  it  should  become  necessary 
for  the  public  peace,"  to  exterminate  them.  Would  not 
any  energetic  patriot  have  acted  just  the  same  in  such  a 
case  ?  Look  at  the  evidence  given  in  the  trial  of  Joseph 
Smith  and  others,  quoted  in  our  Appendix  to  Part  I., 
and  then  call  Boggs  the  "  Nero  of  Missouri,"  as  the 
Mormon  leaders  did  then  and  do  to-day.* 

*Here  is  an  example  of  a  modern  Mormon  Sunday  school  teach- 
ing as  to  Governor  Boggs.  This  is  one  instance  out  of  hundreds 
showing  how  the  minds  of  the  young  in  Utah  get  filled  with  lies  and 
hatred  of  the  American  name  : 

Q.     "  Who  acted  as  the  chief  persecutor  of  the  Saints  ? 

A.  "  The  infamous  Lilburn  W.  Boggs,  Governor  of  the  State  of 
Missouri. 

Q.  "  Whom  did  Governor  Boggs  unjustly  charge  with  this  at- 
tempt to  murder  him?  " 

A.  "  Brother  O.  P.  Rockwell,  and  that  Joseph  Smith  prompted 
him  to  do  it,  or  was  accessory  before  the  fact." 

(Deseret  Sunday  School  CatechismNo.  I.  Questions  and  answers 
on  the  life  and  mission  of  the  Prophet  Joseph  Smith.  1882.) 


32  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Boggs  was  the  embodiment  of  the  lawful  wrath  of  the 
Missourians,  kindled  by  the  arrogance  and  the  crimes  of 
the  band  of  fanaticized  adventurers  called  "Mormons.11 
Boggs  was,  even  in  Nauvoo  times,  Macbeth-Smith's 
Banquo  ;  while  he  lived  there  was  no  rest  for  the  King  of 
Nauvoo.  He  was  hated  for  what  he  had  done  and  feared 
for  what  he  could  do.  While  he  lived  Joseph's  extradi- 
tion at  the  call  of  the  Missouri  authorities  was  only  a 
question  of  time.  He  must  die,  like  Banquo,  and  then, 
what  a  fine  effect  on  the  "  Mormon  people,"  themselves, 
was  to  be  expected  from  a  sudden  violent  death  of  Nero  ! 
Was  there  not  an  admirable  opportunity  to  show  that 
Joseph,  having  predicted  it,  was  the  greatest  of  all 
prophets  ?  The  Lord  was  always  on  hand  to  smite  his 
enemies  with  a  timely  stroke  of  lightning,  and  would  not 
the  death  of  Boggs,  the  "persecutor,"  deter  other 
would-be  Boggses  from  interfering  with  the  Lord's  chosen 
people  and  frighten  the  enemies  of  Zion  in  general  ? 

Let  us  first  glance  at  Bennett's  book  again.  He  says : 
"Joseph  Smith  in  a  public  congregation  in  the  city  of 
Nauvoo,  in  1841,  prophesied  that  Lilburn  W.  Boggs, 
Ex-Governor  of  Missouri,  should  die  by  violent  hands 
within  a  year.  Smith  was  .speaking  of  the  Missouri 
difficulties  at  the  time,  and  said  that  the  exterminator 
should  be  exterminated,  and  that  the  Destroying  Angel 
should  do  it  by  the  right  hand  of  his  power.  'I  say  it/ 
said  he,  '  in  the  name  of  the  Lord  God  ! '  In  the  spring 
of  the  year  1842  Smith  offered  a  reward  of  five  hundred 
dollars  to  any  man  who  would  secretly  assassinate  Gov. 
Boggs.  I  heard  the  offer  made  at  a  meeting  of  the  Dan- 
ites  in  the  Nauvoo  lodge  room  .  .  .  O.  P.  Rockwell  left 
Nauvoo  from  one  to  two  months  prior  to  the  attempted 
assassination  of  Governor  Boggs,  and  returned  the  day 
before  the  report  reached  there.  The  Nauvoo  Wasp,  of 
May  28,  A.  D.  1842,  a  paper  edited  by  William  Smith, 
one  of  the  twelve  Mormon  apostles,  and  brother  of  the 
Prophet,  declared :  "Who  did  the  noble  deed  remains  to 


To  Fulfill  Prophecy.  33 

be  found  out."*  Some  weeks  after  Rockwell  left  Nauvoo 
I  asked  Smith  where  he  had  gone.  '  Gone  ?  '  said  he ; 
"gone  to  fulfill  prophecy,'  with  a  significant  nod,  giving 
me  to  understand  that  he  had  gone  to  fulfill  his  prediction 
in  relation  to  the  violent  death  of  Governor  Boggs.  Soon 
after  Rockwell's  return,  Smith  said  to  me,  speaking  of 
Governor  Boggs  :  "The  destroying  angel  has  done  the 
work,  as  predicted,  but  Rockwell  was  not  the  man  who 
shot ;  the  angel  did  it. ' '  f 

No  impartial  writer  about  Mormon  history  has  ever 
doubted  Joseph's  connection  with  this  attempted  assassin- 
ation^ but  nobody  has  yet  given  direct  proof.  I  am 
able  to  lay  it  before  the  reader,  introducing  the  testi- 
mony of 

Mrs.  Sarah  Pratt :  "One  evening  Dr.  Bennett  called 
at  my  house  and  asked  me  to  lend  him  my  husband's  rifle. 
This  was  an  excellent  arm,  brought  from  England  by 
Orson  Pratt ;  it  was  known  to  be  the  best  rifle  in  that  part 
of  the  country.  I  asked  him  what  he  wanted  the  rifle  for, 
and  he  said  :  "  Don't  be  so  loud  ;  Rockwell  is  outside  — 
Joseph  wants  it;  I  shall  tell  you  later."  ...  I  suspected 
some  foul  play,  and  refused  to  give  him  the  rifle,  stating 
that  I  dared  not  dispose  of  it  in  the  absence  of  my  hus- 
band. Bennett  went  away,  and  when  the  news  came  that 
Gov.  Boggs  had  been  shot  at  and  all  but  killed,  Bennett 
came  and  told  me  that  he  had  wanted  the  rifle  of  my  hus- 

*This  is  correct.  The  author  saw  the  Wasp  in  the  Historian's 
office  at  Salt  Lake.  And,  en  passant,  I  observe  that  President  John 
Taylor  in  his  celebrated  discussion  in  France,  in  the  year  1850,  is 
strangely  oblivious  of  this  noble  deed,  dismissing  with  a  virtuous 
flourish  the  charge  as  a  weak  invention  of  the  enemy;  in  effect 
denying  (as  he  also  at  the  same  time  and  place  denied  polygamy, 
etc.,)  that  Boggs'  life  had  ever  been  sought  by  Mormon  thugs : 
"  Governor  Boggs  is  residing  at  the  present  time  in  the  State  of 
California." 

fBennett,  pp.  281-2. 

| May  6th  1842,  Boggs  was  shot  at  Independence,  Mo.,  while 
reading  a  newspaper.  The  pistol  was  loaded  with  buckshot  and 
three  balls  took  effect  in  his  head,  one  penetrating  his  brain.  His 
life  was  despaired  of  for  several  days,  but  he  recovered.  See  Wasp 
of  May  28. 


34  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Joseph  Smith. 

band  for  "that  job,"  and  that  Joseph  had  sent  him  to 
get  it.  I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt  that  Joseph  had 
planned  and  ordered  the  assassination  of  Gov.  Boggs." 

So  far  Mrs.  Pratt,  whose  testimony,  as  all  decent 
people  in  Salt  Lake  City  well  know,  is  absolutely  reliable. 
It  shows  that  our  aspiring  friend,  Bennett,  was  an  accom- 
plice in  the  murderous  plot,  as  he  was  in  the  other  rascally 
schemes  of  his  friend,  the  prophet;  he  was,  indeed,  in 
this  college  of  crime,  more  teacher  than  disciple ;  and, 
not  unlikely,  the  first  suggestion  of  murdering  Boggs 
came  from  Bennett  himself.  But,  as  to  his  own  guilt,  his 
book  is  like  that  of  John  D.  Lee,  telling  any  amount  of 
truth  concerning  others,  while  lying  about  and  screening 
himself. 

Rockwell,  it  seems,  got  a  good  reward  from  the 
prophet  for  his  zeal  in  fulfilling  prophecy;  Joseph  was 
much  more  liberal  in  this  respect  than  Brigham,  who 
wanted  his  assassins  to  work  for  the  Lord  at  their  own 
expense,  to  murder  "  without  purse  or  scrip." 

John  C.  Bennett:  "I  would  further  say  that  Rock- 
well was  abjectly  poor  before  he  left  Nauvoo,  but  since 
his  return  he  has  an  elegant  carriage  and  horses  at  his 
disposal,  and  his  pockets  filled  with  gold.  These  horses 
and  carriage  belonged  to  Smith,  and  the  gold  was  fur- 
nished by  him." 

C.  G.  Webb:  "I  saw  the  fine  carriage,  horses  and 
harness  which  Rockwell  got  from  Joseph  after  the  attempt 
on  the  life  of  Gov.  Boggs." 


Some  of  My    Witnesses.  35 

THE  LORD'S  BANKERS  IN  KIRTLAND. 


My  Friend  Webb,  the  aged  Father  of  Wife  Number  Nine- 
teen— Interviews  with  Webb,  James  McGuffie  and  his 
Wife — -Joseph  as  Land  Speculator,  Banker  and  Auc- 
tioneer of  Town- lots — Those  Window-glass  Boxes  and 
fine  Bank  Notes. 

Do  you  remember,  my  excellent  friend  Webb,  that 
balmy  Sunday  afternoon,  in  April,  1885,  when  you  told 
me  about  that  famous  bank  whose  President  and  Cashier 
were  the  two  chosen  servants  of  the  Lord,  Sidney  Rigdon 
and  Joseph  Smith  ?  It  was  one  of  our  many  interviews  in 
that  cosy  house  of  stalwart,  sterling  old  James  McGuffie 
and  his  good,  honest  soul  of  a  wife.  We  sat,  as  usually, 
in  the  kitchen,  not  far  from  McGuffie's  pride,  that  stove 
with  "Zion  "  in  shining  nickel-letters  on  it.  I  put  ques- 
tion after  question,  with  note-book  and  pencil  in  hand, 
and  you  and  James  McGuffie  were  busy  answering.  I  have 
studied  a  great  many  old  paintings  in  many  cities  of  the 
old  world,  in  Rome,  Florence  and  Venice,  in  Vienna,  Ber- 
lin and  Paris,  in  Amsterdam,  Brussels  and  London.  But, 
I  assure  you,  I  have  never  seen  better  heads  in  any  picture 
than  yours  and  McGuffie  and  wife's ;  I  never  saw  more 
sound  sense,  solidity  and  crystallized  honesty  in  old  heads, 
and  good,  well-meaning  eyes  besides,  shining  with  all  that 
makes  eyes  dearest  to  us — love  of  truth  and  interest  in 
humanity's  progress  and  welfare.  I  wish  those  over-culti- 
vated people  in  the  East  could  have  some  interviews  with 
you  three  "  vile  apostates."  They  would  soon  see  what 
Mormonism  really  is,  and  not  talk  any  more  nonsense 
about  it.  But  I  want  to  dish  before  the  reader  what  ,you 
said  about  that  famous  bank,  friend  Webb.  So  let  me 
introduce  you  in  your  own  words,  dear  old  Liveoak : 

"  I  personally  lost  $2, 500  in  that  famous  bank,  of  which 
Sidney  Rigdon  was  President  and  Joseph  Smith  Cashier. 
I  got  for  my  money  the  blessing  of  the  Lord,  and  the 


36  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

assurance  that  bye  and  bye  the  notes  of  that  bank  would 
be  the  best  money  in  the  country  !    The  bank  was  founded 
in  1836.     Its  origin  dates  from  Joseph's  idea  to  secure  to 
all  the  Saints  'inheritances,'  which  they  should  possess   in 
this  life  and  in  the  other.     Consequently,   many  elders 
were  sent  east  with  the  instruction  to  get  as  much  money 
as  possible.     The  elders  returned  with  money,  and  Smith 
now  bought  a  tract   of   land    called    the    '  Smith   farm. ' 
The  temple  was  built  and  the  city  lots  surveyed.      But 
instead  of  receiving  their  'inheritances,'  the  Saints  had  to 
buy  them,  and  at  good  round  prices,  too.     Joseph  played 
auctioneer,   and  a  very  good   auctioneer    he    was.     The 
Saints  were  full   of  enthusiasm  and  lots  went  up  from  a 
hundred  dollars  to  three  and  four  thousand.     This  trans- 
action brought  some  money  into  Joseph's  capacious  pockets 
and  he  now  began  to  think  of  starting  a  bank  in  Kirtland. 
It   was  to  be  secured  by  real  estate ;  but   this  was   never 
done.     They  went  to  New  York  and  had  notes  engraved, 
beautiful   notes,  the  finest  I  had  ever  seen.     In  the  bank 
they  kept  eight  or  nine  window-glass  boxes,  which  seemed 
to  be  full  of  silver ;  but  the  initiated  knew  very  well  that 
they  were  full  of  sand,  only  the  top  being  covered  with  Ac- 
cent pieces.     The  effect   of  those  boxes  was   like    magic ; 
they  created  general  confidence  in  the  solidity  of  the  bank, 
and  that  beautiful  paper  money  went  like  hot  cakes.     For 
about  a  month  it  was  the  best  money  in  the  country.     But 
the  crash  came  soon,  as  everybody  knows." 

Yes,  the  crash  came  and  the  two  bankers  of  the  Lord 
had  to  leave  Kirtland  "between  two  days."  But  not  be- 
cause of  their  bank-swindle;  the  above-quoted  "Sunday- 
School  Catechism  No.  i"  tells  us  that  they  left  "to  escape 
mob-violence."  The  swindled  mob  behaved  shamefully 
indeed  towards  the  man  who  had  been  appointed  "  Com- 
mander-in-chief of  the  Armies  of  Israel,"  and  to  whom 
Moses,  "'the  great  law-giver  to  ancient  Israel,"  had  given 
personally  "the  keys  of  the  gathering  of  Israel."  All 
that  is  in  this  useful  little  Catechism  of  1882. 


They  Stole  too  Much.  37 

COUNTERFEITING  APOSTLES. 


Brigham  Young' s  Official  Money  a  Counterfeit — A  Jewel 
of  a  Confession,  Contributed  by  Brigham' s  Brother — 
Nine  Apostles  as  Criminals  —  Brigand  William  Smith. 


I  am  glad  to  be  able  to  give  some  positive  and  partly 
very  picturesque  proof  for  this  department  of  Mormon 
elders'  iniquity.  Should  you  come  to  Utah,  reader, 
some  old  Mormon  or  apostate  will  show  you  the  gold 
coins  of  Zion,  coined  by  Brigham  Young.  Even  this 
official  money  of  the  Kingdom,  now  out  of  course,  is 
counterfeit;  it  bears  on  its  face  "Five  Dollars.''  and  is 
in  reality  only  worth  about  $4.30.  For  proof  of  my 
assertions  as  to  the  earlier  times  of  the  "Church,"  the 
times  in  Missouri  and  Illinois,  I  rely  principally  on  the 
confession  of  that  daisy,  Phineas  Young,  brother  of 
Brigham,  which,  in  my  opinion,  is  worth  fifty  volumes  on 
Mormon  history.  I  give  it  in  the  very  words  of  my 
informant,  who  is  one  of  the  most  cultivated  and  reliable 
men  of  Salt  Lake  City: 

"Phineas  Young,  a  near  relative  of  mine,  said  to  me 
in  1875:  'We  have  been  driven  (from  Missouri  and 
Illinois)  because  our  people  stole  too  much.  They  stole 
horses,  cattle  and  beehives,  robbed  smokehouses,  and  any- 
thing you  may  imagine,  and  then  scores  of  us  passed  coun- 
terfeit money  on  the  Gentiles. '  ' 

Gov.  Thomas  Ford:  "  During  the  winter  of  1845-6 
the  Mormons  made  the  most  prodigious  preparations  for 
removal  (from  Nauvoo).  The  twelve  apostles  went  first, 
with  about  two  thousand  of  their  followers.  Indictments 
had  been  found  against  nine  of  them  in  the  Circuit  Court  of 
the  United  States,  for  the  District  of  Illinois,  at  its  Decem- 
ber term,  1845,  for  counterfeiting  the  current  coin  of  the 
United  States"* 

In  the  beginning  of  May,  1885,  while  stopping  at  the 
Metropolitan  Hotel,  in  Salt  Lake  City,  I  met  a  lady  of 

*History  of  Illinois,  pp.  412-413. 


38  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  name  of  Mrs.  E ,  who  had  lived  in  Nauvoo  as  a 

child.  She  told  me  the  following  story:.  "  My  parents 
lived  for  a  time  at  what  was  called  '  Joseph  Smith's 
Tavern,'  in  Plymouth,  thirty-three  miles  from  Nauvoo, 
and  fifteen  miles  from  Carthage.  We  children  played 
hide  and  seek,  one  day,  as  we  often  did.  We  came,  by 
chance,  to  an  upper  room,  which  Apostle  Bill  Smith, 
Joseph's  brother,  used  as  a  bedroom  when  he  was  at  the 
'  tavern.'  While  running  about  and  trying  to  hide,  we 
suddenly  came  upon  a  long,  heavy  sack,  which  we  opened 
and  found  full  of  coined  money  —  silver  and  gold.  At 
least,  it  looked  so.  We  were  very  happy  to  become  so 
rich.  We  little  girls  put  lots  of  money  in  our  small 
aprons,  called  together  the  children  of  the  neighbors,  and 
gave  them  some  of  the  money.  Our  parents  were  not  at 
home,  but  when  they  came  we  ran  up  to  them :  '  Oh,  pa ! 
oh,  ma !  we  have  a  whole  bread-pan  full  of  money  for  you  !  ' 
Father  gave  us  a  severe  rebuke,  and  ordered  us  to  get 
all  the  money  together,  and  to  get  back  from  our  little 
friends  all  that  we  had  given  to  them.  We  obeyed,  with 
our  eyes  swimming  in  tears,  and  laid  all  the  money  before 
our  father,  who  put  it  back  in  the  sack  and  buried  the 
sack:  He  said  he  would  wait  till  Bill  Smith  and  his  com- 
rades would  ask  him  for  the  money.  A  few  days  after, 
Apostle  Bill  came  to  the  'tavern,'  and  with  him  came 
Zinc  Salisbury  and  Luke  Clayborn,  both  brothers-in-law  of 
Bill.  They  searched  for  the  money,  and,  not  finding  it, 
invited  my  father  to  go  coon-hunting  with  them.  My 
father  divined  that  they  wanted  to  punish  him  for  the 
disappearance  of  the  money,  so  he  said  to  them  :  '  Why 
don't  you  tell  me,  honestly,  that  you  wanted  your 
money?'  And  so  saying  he  showed  them  where  he  had 
buried  the  treasure.  They  took  it,  and  threatened  my 
father  that  they  would  kill  him  if  he  talked  to  anybody 
about  it.  There  was  great  excitement  in  the  country 
about  this  bogus  money,  and  it  finally  became  so  intense 
that  the  authorities  had  to  interfere.  The  officers  found 
the  machinery,  with  which  the  money  was  made,  in 
Plymouth.  Whenever  Joseph  Smith  owed  money  he 
paid  with  this  kind  of  coin." 


Thus  Saith  the  Lord.  39 

JOSEPH  IN  MONEY  MATTERS. 


The  Lazy  Prophet  and  His  Secretary —  A  Hotel  for  the 
New  Abraham  and  His  Posterity — The  Prophet  Robs 
and  Defrauds  Poor  and  Rich  Alike. 


Lying  and  laziness — there  is  an  alliteration  for  you — 
were  the  two  great  characteristics  of  Joseph  in  early 
youth.  There  are  extenuating  circumstances  in  the  case, 
however:  he  inherited  both  qualities  from  the  "splendid 
gypsies,"  his  parents,  so  that  telling  the  truth  and  work- 
ing hard  would  really  and  literally  have  been  against  his 
nature.  His  innate  hatred  of  all  serious  work  made  him 
a  money-digger  and  a  fortune-teller,  and  finally  a  prophet. 
As  such  he  had  in  his  employ  a  factotum  and  secretary, 
who  wrote  down  all  that  Joseph  needed  for  the  execution 
of  his  plans,  which  always  tended  to  his  power,  profit  or 
lust.  This  secretary,  or  chum  of  his,  he  used  to  call  the 
"  Lord,"  and  what  he  had  dictated  to  him,  "  revelations." 
Brigand  Joseph  and  his  next  friends  knew  this  funny 
circumstance  perfectly  well,  but  thousands  of  dupes 
swallowed  the  celebrated  formula  "  Thus  saith  the  Lord''1 
notwithstanding. 

Let  us  hear  some  of  those  funny  "  revelations,"  dic- 
tated by  Joseph  to  his  "  Lord  "  and  then  published  in 
the  latter 's  name  :" 

"If  thou  lovest  me  thou  shalt  keep  my  commandments  and  thou 
shall  consecrate  all  of  thy  properties  unto  me,  with  a  covenant  and 
deed  which  cannot  be  broken." 

"  Deed  "  shows  the  smart  Yankee  in  dictating  Joseph, 
He  is  not  content  with  a  religious  "  covenant,"  he  wants 
a  good,  solid,  ironclad  deed.  I  proceed  to  quote  from  the 
official  church  books : 

"  Who  receiveth  you  receiveth  me  and  the  same  will  feed  you  and 
clothe  you  and  give  you  money — and  he  who  does  not  these  things  is 
not  my  disciple." 


40  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

That  secretary  of  the  prophet  is  a  thoroughly  good 
fellow,  it  seems.  But  he  can  do  better  : 

"  And  let  all  the  moneys  which  can  be  spared,  it  matterelh  not 
unto  me  whether  it  be  little  or  much  ('!),  be  sent  up  unto  the  land  ef 
Zion,  unto  those  I  have  appointed  to  receive  it." 

Now,  getting  all  the  spare  money  people  have  is  surely 
very  nice,  but  Joseph  had  to  show  to  the  people  still  more 
clearly  what  he  could  do  with  his  above  mentioned 
"pard."  So  he  made  him  write  : 

"  It  is  meet  that  my  servant  Joseph  should  have  a  house  built  in 
which  to  live  and  translate.  And,  again,  it  is  meet  that  my  servant 
Sidney  Rigdon  should  live  as  seemeth  him  good,  inasmuch  as  he 
keepeth  my  commandments.  Provide  for  him  (Joseph)  food  and 
raiment,  and  whatsoever  he  needeth — and  in  temporal  labor  thou 
(Joseph!  shalt  have  no  strength,  for  this  is  not  thy  calling." 

This  is  one  of  those  great  contradictions  in  nature  to 
puzzle  even  a  Darwin.  Joseph,  the  wrestler,  6  feet  high, 
and  weighing  212  pounds,  is  too  feeble  to  work.  But 
the  chum  can  do  better.  Joseph  has  a  house  and  whatso- 
ever he  needeth,  but  he  wants  the  comfort  of  a  hotel,  you 
see,  with  bar  and  all  other  appurtenances.  Such  a  con- 
cern is  just  the  thing  for  the  necessities  of  a  daily 
increasing  polygamous  or  celestial  household.  So  the 
chum  sits  down  and  writes  : 

"And  now,  I  say  unto  you,  as  pertaining  to  my  boarding  house, 
which  I  commanded  you  to  build  for  the  boarding  of  strangers,  let  it 
be  built  unto  my  name  and  let  my  name  be  named  upon  it,  and  let  my 
servant  Joseph  and  his  house  have  places  therein  from  generation  to 
•  generation.  For  this  anointing  have  I  put  upon  his  head  that  this 
blessing  shall  also  be  put  upon  the  heads  of  his  prosterity  after  him, 
and  as  I  said  unto  Abraham  even  so  I  say  unto  my  servant  Joseph,  in 
thee  and  in  thy  seed  shall  the  kindreds  of  the  earth  be  blessed.  There- 
fore, let  my  servant  Joseph  and  his  seed  after  him  have  place  in  that 
house  from  generation  to  generation  forever  and  ever,  saith  the  Lord, 
and  let  the  name  of  that  house  be  called  the  "Nauvoo  House." 
(January,  1841.) 

Now  this  is  perfectly  delightsome.  It  is  religion,  you 
know.  Don't  you  see  the  smart  Yankee-eyes  through  the 
/<?^-holes  of  the  prophetic  mask,  and  don't  you  hear  him 
laugh  behind  that  mask  at  the  d — d  fools  he  has  got  fixed? 
Let  us  give  Joseph  his  due.  The  Prophet  declared  he  was 
going  to  carry  out  the  fun,  and  he  did  carry  it  out  to  the 
bitter  end. 


The  Plundering  Prophet.  41 

But  I  have  to  hasten  to  my  notes  and  introduce  my 
witnesses  after  this  reproduction  of  old,  well-known  * 'reve- 
lations," without  which,  however,  no  biography  of  the 
imposter  would  be  complete.  Let  us  hear  first 

Mrs.  P.:  "Whenever  a  man  of  means  came  into  the 
Church  Joseph  was  sure  to  get  a  revelation  that  the  money 
of  the  new  comer  must  be  "consecrated."  He  had  no 
rest  till  he  got  hold  of  it.  Examples  are,  Hunter,  Shurt- 
liff,  Bosley  and  others.  Joseph  had  not  so  much  oppor- 
tunity to  make  money,  as  Brigham,  but  both  acted  just 
alike.  Joseph  had  great  talents  in  the  art  of  making  him- 
self agreeable  to  those  whom  he  wanted  to  plunder.  He 
borrowed  money  wherever  he  could  and  never  returned  a 
cent  of  it.  If  you  wanted  your  money  back  he  laughed  in 
your  face.  He  grew  rapidly  worse  under  the  influence  of 
John  C.  Bennett  in  this  and  every  other  respect.  To  rob 
people  was  called  "consecrate  to  the  Lord." 

Mrs.  Sw.  :  "Two  good,  honest  people,  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Farrar,  came  to  Nauvoo  from  England.  They  had 
been  in  the  service  of  Sir  Robert  Peel  and  had  amassed 
a  little  competence,  about  eight  hundred  pounds  of  Eng- 
lish money,  each.  Joseph  got  the  money  from  them.  He 
told  them  that  he  would  build  up  the  kingdom  with  it, 
and,  said  he,  emphatically  :  '  I  shall  die  for  you,  if  nec- 
essary !  '  When  Joseph  was  shot,  Mr.  Farrar  became 
crazy ;  Mrs.  Farrar  died  long  afterwards,  a  pauper  in  Salt 
Lake." 

Mr.  W.  :  "Joseph  was  in  money  matters  just  like 
Brigham  and  Taylor.  Whoever  had  money  had  to 
consecrate  it  to  the  Lord.  When  people  were  stripped 
of  every  dollar  they  had,  they  got  sometimes  a  little 
pittance  from  the  tithing  office ;  that  was  all.  I  am 
convinced  that  Joseph  never  entertained  the  least  idea  of 
returning  any  money  he  had  borrowed.  He  became  rich 
through  the  sale  of  town  lots." 

Mrs.  P.:  "When  people  asked  for  their  money, 
Joseph  sometimes  made  dreadful  scenes.  How  could, 
they  dare  to  ask  for  money  from  the  Lord's  priesthood, 
which  has  the  right  to  use  everybody's  money  for  the 
upbuilding  of  the  kingdom  !  In  this  regard,  indeed, 


42  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Joseph's  mantle  fell  on  the  shoulders  of  Brigham  Young." 
Mr.  S.  :  "  Whenever  Joseph  sold  a  lot  to  somebody, 
he  gave  a  church  deed.  Soon  afterward  the  buyer  got 
"counsel"  to  join  the  order  of  Enoch,  and  in  this  way 
Joseph  got  the  lot  back  and  kept  the  money.  He  sold  as 
Mayor  and  took  back  as  Enoch.  For  either  emergency  he 
had  another  name." 

Mr.  K.  :  "  Money  was  like  sand  in  Joseph's  hands  ;  it 
ran  through  his  fingers.  Bishop  Hunter  gave  Joseph 
eleven  thousand  dollars  in  gold."  [In  Kirtland  money 
was  sand,  as  we  have  seen.] 

Mr.  R.  :  "  Solomon  Wixoin  was  a  poor  but  hard- 
working farmer  in  Nauvoo.  Out  of  his  scant  earnings  he 
managed  to  save  about  one  hundred  and  twenty  dollars, 
and  laid  it  by  in  the  Fall  to  buy  a  yoke  of  cattle  in  the 
Spring,  to  enable  him  to  work  a  piece  of  land.  Joseph 
Smith  got  wind  of  the  little  treasure  by  a  '  revelation  ' 
— an  unsuspecting  brother,  to  whom  Wixom  told  his 
plans,  chanced  to  speak  of  it  in  the  presence  of  a  con- 
fidant of  Joseph.  The  prophet  went  to  see  Wixom,  and 
after  a  few  commonplace  remarks  which  rather  flattered 
the  latter,  said :  '  Brother  W.,  I  am  hard  up  for  some 
money,  I  need  it  badly ;  do  you  know  of  anyone  that 
could  lend  me  a  little?'  '  Well,  Brother  Joseph,  really 
I  don't  know.  I  have  a  little  laid  by,  but  I  cannot  spare 
it,  for  I  want  it  to  buy  a  yoke  of  cattle  in  the  Spring.' 
'Oh,'  was  Joseph's  reply,  "let  me  have  it,  Brother 
Wixom,  and  I  can  easily  pay  it  back  before  you  want  it, 
and  God  will  bless  you.'  'Well,  well,  if  you  can, 
Brother  Joseph,  I'll  lend  it  you.'  He  went  and  put  the 
amount  in  Joseph's  hand.  When  the  prophet  counted 
the  money,  he  turned  to  Wixom  and  said:  'It's  all  right, 
I  need  not  give  you  a  note,  Brother  Sol.,  I  suppose.' 
•*  Oh  no,  no,  Brother  Joseph,  your  word  is  good  enough 
to  me  for  that.'  Spring  came,  and  advancing  toward  the 
middle,  but  Joe  never  advanced  toward  Wixom,  The 
poor  man  becoming  uneasy  went  to  his  prophet-debtor : 
'  The  Spring  is  come,  Brother  Joseph,  and  I  come  to  ask 
you  to  be  kind  enough  to  give  me  that  money  I  lent  you.' 
•'  Money,  what  money,  Brother  Sol.?'  'Why,  don't  you 


The  Prophet  Robs  the  Poor.  43 

recollect  the  money  I  lent  you  last  Fall  which  you  prom- 
ised to  pay  me  in  the  Spring  to  buy  my  oxen  ?  '  After  a 
moment's  pause,  apparently  to  jog  his  memory,  the 
prophet  replied:  ;  No,  Brother  Sol.,  I  never  got  any 
money  from  you  that  I  know  of.  Have  you  got  a  note?' 
'  No,  I  haven't ;  you  said  there  would  be  no  need  to  give 
a  note,  for  you  would  be  sure  and  pay  it,  as  it  obliged 
you  so  much.'  'I  don't  remember  any  such  transaction, 
and  will  not  pay  it,'  said  the  man  of  God.  The  poor 
man  never  received  his  money,  and  when  asked  what  he 
thought  of  the  dishonest  trick,  he  said  that  Joseph  must 
have  done  it  to  try  his  faith." 

This  incident  comes  from  a  near  relative  of  Wixom 
who  is  now  a  faithful  polygamous  Saint  in  Utah. 

The  following  is  a  most  characteristic  story  :  Among 
the  proselytes  who  came  to  Kirtland  to  enjoy  the  blessings 
of  the  new  gospel,  was  a  good  honest  spinster  by  the  name 
of  Vienna  J — ,  who  herself  related  the  occurrence.  She 
came  from  away  down  East,  where  she  had  accumulated 
by  hard  work,  dime  by  dime,  some  fourteen  or  fifteen 
hundred  dollars.  Joseph  hearing  of  it  immediately  got  a 
revelation  concerning  this  money.  He  told  Vienna,  that 
the  Lord  wanted  her  to  return  East,  gather  up  her  sub- 
stance and  bring  it  on  to  Kirtland.  Vienna  obeyed  and 
brought  the  money.  When  she  arrived,  Joseph  was  away 
from  Kirtland.  Some  of  the  Elders,  who  were  in  the 
secret,  itched  to  get  hold  of  the  money  ;  one  of  them  suc- 
ceeded in  getting  a  loan  of  fifty  dollars  from  Vienna,  one 
of  those  loans  that  are  like  Shakespeare's  immortal  traveler 
that  never  returns.  Vienna  followed  the  prophet  to  the 
place  where  he  had  gone.  She  had  made  up  her  mind, 
good  soul,  to  give  the  prophet  a  big  present  in  money — a 
hundred  dollars  !  She  thought  that  was  much,  and,  con- 
sidering her  circumstances  and  the  way  she  had  saved  her 
dimes,  it  was  much,  sure  enough.  Well,  she  finds  Joseph, 
and  full  of  pious  zeal,  eager  to  surprise  the  prophet  of  the 
Lord,  she  hastens  to  lay  before  him  the  hundred  dollars, 
well  counted.  But  Joseph's  countenance  darkened  and 
fell ;  he  assumed  a  searching,  severe  look  and  cried  : 
"Where  is  the  rest  of  it  ?  What  have  you  done  with  the 


44  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

money,  sister  ?"  The  poor  thing  "  shelled  out"  very  soon  ; 
her  whole  earnings  and  savings  went  to  Joe.  Being  asked 
what  was  done  with  it?  "  Oh,"  said  she,  "Joseph  bought 
a  gold  watch,  and  Hyrum  got  a  gold  watch,  and  so  did 
some  others."  Asked  further:  "And  this  did  not  shake 
your  faith  in  the  prophet?"  "  Oh  no,"  said  the  good  soul. 
"The  Lord  said  I  should  have  an  inheritance  in  Zion. 
But  I  was  to  be  industrious.  You  can  see  the  revela- 
lation  in  the  Doctrine  and  Covenants.  I  saw  it  in  manu- 
script beiore  it  was  printed,  only  they  changed  it  a  little  in 
the  print.  In  the  revelation  it  first  read  her  money,  they 
made  it  say  the  money.  But  it  was  all  right.  Well,  I 
never  was  lazy  in  my  life,  but  I  suppose  the  Lord  saw  I 
might  get  lazy."  Well,  that  poor,  old  creature  died 
"  fixed  "  in  the  faith,  over  ninety  years  old,  and  the  story 
shows  what  hold  such  a  "religion"  can  have  on  simple, 
confiding,  devout  souls.* 


SECRET  MURDERS  IN  XAUVOO. 


Fine  Nauvoo  Tales  by  Brother  Lee — Thrown  in  the  Lime 
Kiln,  Body,  Clothes  and  All— The  Drowning  of  the 
Good  Old  Woman,  Described  by  R.  Rushton — Some 
Graceful  Lies  by  John  Taylor. 


They  are  "secret"  no  more  since  Lee's  book,  and 
they  will  be  less  so  after  this  little  book  of  mine  shall  have 
seen  the'light.  Murder  is  the  most  natural  thing  in  the 
world  with  despotism;  look  for  instance  at  Venice,  Spain, 
etc.  It  is  no  wonder,  therefore,  that  the  Mormon  form  of 
theocracy,  the  most  searching,  brutal  and  absolute  form  of 
all  tyrannies  ever  known  in  history,  should  resort  to  mur- 
der for  the  purpose  of  protecting  itself  from  enemies — 
Boggs,  for  example — and  screening  its  criminal  and  trea- 
sonable secrets,  which  form  such  an  important  part  of 

*  Told  to  the  author  by  a  witness,  who  heard  it  more  than  once 
recited  by  the  old  aunt,  now  in  heaven. 


Danite  Lee   Talks  Plain.  45 

this  "religion."  We  are,  therefore,  not  surprised  in  the 
least  to  find,  that  from  the  infancy  of  this  "  Church"  up 
to  our  days,  murder  has  always  been  the  preferred  instru- 
ment for  fighting  the  enemies  of  the  "Kingdom."  Only 
a  few  weeks  ago  U.  S.  Attorney  Dickson  was  attacked  by 
a  number  of  Mormon  hoodlums,  bearing  the  name  of  Can- 
non, a  name  synonymous  with  the  most  impudent  kind  of 
lying  and  misrepresentation.  And  why  was  Dickson  at- 
tacked ?  Because  he  is  the  most  able,  energetic  and  in- 
corruptible of  all  public  accusers  Utah  ever  had.  Deputy 
Marshal  Collin  escaped  barely  with  his  life,  a  few  months 
ago,  while  attacked  by  three  or  four  "  Danites  "  in  a  dark 
alley.  The  reason?  He  is  a  faithful  officer. 

Let  me  first  introduce  the  testimony  of  John  D.  Lee, 
who,  while  in  Nauvoo,  (like  Abraham  O.  Smoot  and 
Hosea  Stout),  was  only  a  modest  Danite  and  policeman, 
but  later  became  the  most  celebrated  of  assassins  in  the 
service  of  Brigham  Young,  outshining  even  stars  like 
Porter  Rockwell  and  Bill  Hickman.  What  he  says  can- 
not but  be  true ;  there  is  too  much  proof  for  it. 

' '  I  knew  of  many  men  being  killed  in  Nauvoo  by  the 
Danites.  It  was  then  the  rule  that  all  the  enemies  of 
Joseph  Smith  should  be  killed,  and  I  know  of  many  a  man 
who  was  quietly  put  out  of  the  way  by  the  orders  of  Joseph 
and  his  apostles  while  the  church  was  there.  It  has  always 
been  a  well-understood  doctrine  of  the  church  that  it  was 
right  and  praiseworthy  to  kill  every  person  who  spoke 
evil  of  the  prophet.  This  doctrine  has  been  strictly  lived 
up  to  in  Utah,  until  the  Gentiles  arrived  in  such  great 
numbers  that  it  became  unsafe  to  follow  the  practice ;  but 
the  doctrine  is  still  believed,  and  no  year  passes  without 
one  or  more  of  those  who  have  spoken  evil  of  Brigham 
Young  being  killed  in  a  secret  manner.  In  Springville  it 
was  certain  death  to  say  a  word  against  the  authorities, 
high  or  low.  In  Utah  it  has  been  the  custom  with  the 
priesthood  to  make  eunuchs  of  such  men  as  were  obnoxious 
to  the  leaders.  This  was  done  for  a  double  purpose ;  first, 
it  gave  a  perfect  revenge,  and  next,  it  left  the  poor  victim 
a  living  example  to  others  of  the  dangers  of  disobeying 
counsel,  and  not  living  as  ordered  by  the  priesthood.  In 


46  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Nauvoo  it  was  the  orders  from  Joseph  Smith  and  his 
apostles  to  beat,  wound  and  castrate  all  Gentiles  that  the 
police  could  take  in  the  act  of  entering  or  leaving  a  Mor- 
mon household  under  circumstances  that  led  to  the  belief 
that  they  had  been  there  for  immoral  purposes.  /  knew 
of  several  such  outrages  while  there." 

The  official  murderers  in  the  service  of  the  Mormon 
priesthood  were  always  called  "  City  Police,"  and  are  so 
called  to-day. 

Lee,  one  of  the  high  priests  who  officiated  at  the  great 
religious  sacrifice,  called  "Mountain  Meadows  Massacre" 
by  wicked  Gentiles  and  apostates,  says  (Confession,  p. 
287):  "Soon  after  I  got  to  Nauvoo  I  was  appointed 
seventh  policeman.  I  had  superiors  in  office,  and  was 
sworn  to  secrecy  and  to  obey  the  orders  of  my  superiors, 
and  not  let  my  left  hand  know  what  my  right  hand  did. 
It  was  my  duty  to  do  as  I  was  ordered,  and  not  to  ask 
questions.  I  was  instructed  in  the  secrets  of  the  priest- 
hood to  a  great  extent,  and  taught  to  believe,  as  I  then 
did  believe,  that  it  was  my  duty,  and  the  duty  of  all  men, 
to  obey  the  leaders  of  the  church,  and  that  no  man  could 
commit  sin  so  long  as  he  acted  in  the  way  that  he  was 
directed  by  his  church  superiors.  I  was  one  of  the  life- 
guard of  the  prophet  Joseph." 

I  now  introduce  living  witnesses. 

Mrs.  Pa.:  "It  was  not  rare  for  people  who  owned 
fine  pieces  of  property  in  Nauvoo  to  disappear  all  of  a 
sudden.  An  English  family  sold  all  the  property  they 
had  in  England,  and  then  went  to  "Zion."  The  hus- 
band and  father  arrived  first  in  Nauvoo,  and  soon  wrote 
home  to  England  that  he  owned  a  fine  house  and  garden. 
The  wife  came  later,  but  could  not  find  her  husband  or 
his  property.  He  had  simply  disappeared.  She  was  told 
that  he  had  died  suddenly,  but  they  could  not  show  his 
grave.  The  woman  had  sold  her  property  in  England 
after  her  husband  had  left,  but  she  was  smart  enough  not 
to  say  a  word  about  it  in  Nauvoo,  that  she  had  the  money 
in  her  pockets.  She  told  the  prophet  that  she  had  tried 
to  sell  her  property,  but  had  not  succeeded,  and  that  she 
left  it  in  trust.  She  managed  to  get  out  of  Nauvoo. ' ' 


Dead  Men   Tell  No  Tales.  47 

Mrs.  J.  :  "While  I  was  in  Nauvoo,  the  following 
was  very  common  talk  there  :  l  What  is  it  ? '  i  Oh,  noth- 
ing, only  a  dead  man  has  been  picked  up.'  I  had  been 
very  strong  in  the  faith,  but  such  things  opened  my  eyes." 

A  man  by  the  name  of  Thompson  is  authority  for  the 
following  statement.  He  was  for  years  an  employee  of 
the  Tithing  office  in  Salt  Lake;  he  had  been  a  long  time 
in  Nauvoo  and  apostatized  in  1860.  He  told  one  of  my 
chief  witnesses,  who  thinks  him  a  perfectly  reliable  man, 
the  following:  "All  those  that  were  inimical  to  the 
Kingdom  of  God  in  Nauvoo,  were  put  away.  I  knew  a 
man  who  was  looked  upon  as  an  enemy  to  the  church. 
They  threw  him,  body,  clothes  and  all,  in  the  lime  kiln  and 
burned  him  up.  But  I  believed'  then  [  just  like  John  D. 
Lee]  that  it  was  all  right ;  it  had  been  commanded  by 
Joseph  the  Prophet  and  was  done  for  the  safety  of  the 
Kingdom." 

" Dead  7nen  tell  no  tales"  was  a  favorite  word  of 
Joseph  Smith,  and  Brigham  Young  adopted  and  used  it 
very  frequently.  One  might  say  that  it  was  the  motto  of 
the  two  prophets  as  to  the  treatment  of  their  enemies. 
But  sometimes  the  motto  was  changed  a  little  and  then  it 
had  to  read:  "Dead  women  tell  no  tales."  This  is 
proved  by  a  terrible  tale  related  by  old  Richard  Rushton, 
the  faithful  steward  of  the  "Nauvoo  Mansion,"  where 
Joseph  lived  as  hotel-keeper. 

"Old  Sister , — well-known  in  early  times  in 

Nauvoo — was  a  good,  generous  woman,  a  faithful  Saint, 
and  tried  to  be  worthy  the  name  by  being  kind  and  truth- 
ful. Having  some  means  she  could  spare,  she  helped  the 
:  prophet'  and  gave  amply  to  the  '  church.'  She  attended 
to  the  sick — and  there  were  many  there — alleviating  their 
distresses  and  speaking  words  of  cheer  to  the  disconsolate. 
She  was  respected  by  many  as  a  '  mother  in  Israel.'  But 
she  was  outspoken,  and  seeing  so  much  that  appeared  to 
her  corrupt,  she  would  sometimes  '  blab '  about  the  breth- 
ren's doings.  Her  reproofs  showed  that  she  knew  too 
much,  and  she  might  become  dangerous  to  them.  Though 
she  knew  but  little,  comparatively,  of  what  was  going  on, 
the  priesthood  became  alarmed,  and  as  it  was  easier  to  get 


48  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

rid  of  an  old  woman  that  to  reform  their  lives,  it  was  consid- 
ered necessary  to  '  attend  to  her  case. '  A  council  was 
held  in  Joseph's  room,  at  which  were  Joseph  Smith,  O.  P. 
Rockwell  and  a  few  others.  After  Rockwell  had  accused 
her,  the  subject  was  broached  of  drowning  her,  the  coun- 
cil concluding  that  for  the  safety  of  some  of  the  brethren, 
and  especially  Joseph,  although  she  was  a  i  purty  good 
'oman,'  she  must  be  silenced  at  all  hazards.  The  plan 
devised  then  and  there,  was  that,  as  she  was  'kind  o'  kind 
to  the  church/  the  church  would  make  her  a  present  of  a 
piece  of  land  and  a  house  on  it  which  they  owned  '  over 
the  river.'  The  next  night  they  would  take  her  '  over  the 
river'  and  land  her  safely  '  on  the  other  side.'  All  pres- 
ent consented,  and  the  evening  being  dark  and  propitious 
to  carry  out  the  plan,  a  few  of  those  consenting  met  at  the 
boat  at  the  river-side  to  execute  'the  will  of  the  Lord 
concerning  her." 

"  It  was  a  dark  night.  Darkness  on  the  city  and  on  the 
great  stream,  rolling  peacefully  but  a  few  rods  distant. 
Profound  silence  in  the  low  part  of  the  city.  But  hark  ! 
a  wild  shriek  is  heard  by  a  trembling  listener  in  the  little 
orifice  of  the  '  Mansion,'  coming  as  from  a  throat  gurg- 
ling with  water ;  it  was  only  a  moment,  and  again — 
silence ;  but  hark  !  another  shriek  from  the  same  quarter, 
from  the  same  voice,  a  piercing  shriek  as  from  some  one 
struggling  for  dear  life ;  and  again  silence.  Then  a  final 
shriek,  much  fainter,  telling  the  breathless  listener  that 
the  end  had  come.  All  is  now  hushed  as  death.  The 
cry  is  heard  no  more,  the  old  soul  is  silenced  now,  the 
baptism  is  complete  without  the  usual  religious  formula, 
and  the  lifeless  body  floats  in  the  broad  arms  of  the 
Father  of  the  Waters,  no  more  to  vex  the  souls  of  these 
pitiless  conspirators,  until  the  great  day  of  account,  when 
6  the  sea  shall  give  up  its  dead.'  ' 

' '  In  less  than  five  minutes  after  the  ceasing  of  the 
screams  from  the  drowning  victim,  the  prophet,  O.  P. 
Rockwell  and  two  others  rushed  wildly  into  the  hotel. 
The  prophet  was  dripping  wet.  He  was  loudly  expostu- 
lating with  '  Port '  and  the  others :  *  You  should  not  have 
drowned  her;  she  couldn't  have  done  us  much  harm.' 


Joseph  Walks  on  the  Water.  49 

*  We  had  to  do  it,'  was  the  response,  'for  your  safety  and 
our  own,  as  well  as  for  the  good  of  the  church.  She  can't 
harm  us  now.'  '  I  am  very  sorry;'  said  the  prophet,  '  if  I 
had  thought  of  it  a  few  minutes  sooner,  you  wouldn't  have 
drowned  Sister  -  — .'It  appears  that  although  the 
prophet  consented  the  night  previous  to  her  murder,  under 
the  impulse  of  the  misrepresentation  and  fears  of  her  ac- 
cusers, he  relented  on  reflection  and  expected  to  appear 
with  the  murderers  at  the  river's  edge  in  time  to  prevent 
them  from  putting  their  purpose  into  effect.  He  was  too 
late,  and  in  his  effort  to  save  her  then  he  was  wet  through 
and  through,  being  baffled  by  the  combined  strength  of 
his  followers.  The  prophet  was  impulsive  and  fitful,  and 
in  his  better  moments,  no  doubt,  thought  the  poor  old 
soul  should  not  be  '  blood-atoned,'  and  really  tried  to 
save  her.  But  what  a  state  of  society,  that  made  it  pos- 
sible to  drown  an  innocent,  defenceless,  confiding  old 
woman ! ' '  (Richard  Rushton  heard  the  shrieks  of  the  victim 
while  sitting  in  the  office  of  the  "  Mansion.") 

There  must  have  been  strong  rumors  current  about 
the  secret  crimes  committed  in  Nauvoo  at  that  time, 
since  the  church  organ  called  Times  and  Seasons,  while 
advocating  Joseph  Smith's  election  as  President  of  the 
United  States,  found  it  necessary  to  issue  the  following 
characteristic  denial  to  those  floating  rumors  : 

"  Gentlemen,  we  are  not  going  either  to  murder  ex-Governor 
Boggs,  nor  a  *  Mormon  in  this  State  '  for  not  giving  us  his  money;'  nor 
are  we  going  to  '  walk  on  the  water,'  *  nor  '  drown  a  woman,'  nor  de- 
fraud the  poor  of  their  property,'  nor  '  marry  spiritual  wives,'  etc. 

Now  I  assert  that  the  Mormon  leaders  did  commit  the 
crimes  and  abominations  charged  to  them  by  public  rumor 
in  1844  and  denied  impudently  in  the  church  organ.  I 
have  proved  the  attempted  assassination  of  Governor 

*I  am  informed  that  Mr.  Deming,  of  Painesville,  Ohio,  is  prepared 
to  prove  in  his  book  that  old  story  of  Joseph's  having  "  walked  on  the 
water"  in  Kirtland  to  imitate  one  of  the  best  known  miracles  of  the 
Savior.  There  were,  it  seems,  planks  put  some  inches  below  the  sur- 
face of  the  water,  and  Smith  walked  (in  perfect  security)  over  the 
deep  &  But  a  wag  having  contrived  to  remove  one  of  the  planks,  the 
modern  miracle-worker  took  a  dip  that  nearly  cost  him  his  interesting 
life. 


50  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Boggs  and  the  drowning  of  the  old  woman;  the  truth  of 
the  remaining  charges  admits  of  no  doubt  in  the  light  of 
proofs  furnished  on  all  sides  for  similar  and  worse  offenses. 
Was  not  polygamy  confessed  officially  in  1852,  after  having 
been  denied  most  solemnly  by  the  church  organ  and  leaders 
up  to  that  time,  and  by  John  Taylor  in  a  public  discussion 
in  1850,  in  Boulogne,  France?  "We  are  not  going  to 
marry  spiritual  wives."  How  does  this  read,  I  ask  thee, 
O  righteously  indignant  Mormon  doubter,  in  the  glaring 
light  of  historic  truth  emblazoning  polygamy  since  the 
time  that  Lieutenant  General  Joseph  Smith  was  posing  as 
presidential  candidate? 


STEALING  IN  NAUVOO. 


Ridiculous  "  Gentile"  Notions — John  Taylor  very  Sol- 
emn—  Abel,  the  Colored  Priest — Stealing  Cattle  and 
Healing  the  Sick. 


To  understand  this  chapter  fully,  you  have  to  get  rid 
of  your  Gentile  notions  and  prejudices  first,  gentle 
reader.  To  kill  a  fellow  in  some  canyon,  because  he  is 
an  apostate,  is  not  murder  in  Mormonism,  but  saving  the 
poor  fellow's  soul.  Taking  from  the  Gentiles  is  not 
stealing,  but  consecrating  to  the  Lord  what  right- 
fully belongs  to  him.  This  is  a  " higher  law,"  too.  For 
is  not  "the  earth  the  Lord's  and  the  fullness  thereof, 
and  the  cattle  on  a  thousand  hills?"  Now  just  stick  to 
this,  reader,  and  don't  forget  that  it  is  more  than  an 
official  test  of  Mormon  faith ;  it  is  a  part  of  the  life  blood 
of  the  elders  of  the  school  of  Joseph  and  Brigham. 
Nobody  ever  expressed  this  axiom  better  than  John 
Taylor  did  once  in  New  York,  A  Mormon  lady  told 
him  that  her  servant  girl  used  to  bring  home  bits  of 
silverware  and  like  articles  whenever  she  had  been 
visiting  Gentile  friends.  "What  shall  I  do,  Brother 
Taylor  ?  "  said  the  lady.  "Dear  Sister  H ,"  said  the 


They  Steal  as  the  Lord' s  Agents.  51 

man  of  God,  with  that  ghostly  unction  of  his,  "you 
CANNOT  steal  from  Gentiles!" 

No,  you  cannot.  Taylor  is  right,  and  his  answer  was 
a  masterpiece  of  strict  logic.  Can  it  be  stealing,  if  you 
take  from  your  enemies,  whom  God  will  destroy  very  soon 
for  not  accepting  the  gospel  of  Joseph  Smith  ?  What 
the  wicked  Gentiles  possess  is  stolen  from  the  Lord ;  so 
bring  it  back,  brethren,  to  the  Lord,  that  obliging  "  pard  " 
of  Joseph's,  who  hands  the  trash  over  to  Joseph,  of 
course. 

But  hear  another  of  the  Lord's  choice  "revelations" 
and  you  will  understand  fully  that  the  "founder"  of 
Mormonisrn  authorized  his  followers  directly  to  appropri- 
ate "whatsoever  HE  needeth  :  " 

"  Behold,  it  is  said  in  my  laws,  or  forbidden  to  get  in  debt  to  thine 
enemies  (the  Gentiles) ;  but,  behold,  it  is  not  said,  at  any  time,  that 
the  Lord  should  not  take  when  he  please  and/#y  as  seemeth  him  good '; 
wherefore,  as  ye  are  agents,  and  ye  are  on  the  Lord's  errand,  and 
whatsoever  ye  do  according  to  the  will  of  the  Lord  is  the  Lord^s  busi- 
ness, and  he  has  sent  you  to  provide  for  his  Saints  ..." 

Here's  richness.  This  is  from  the  "  Book  of  Doctrine 
and  Covenants,"  a  book,  remember,  as  sacred  in  the  eyes 
of  a  fanatic  Mormon  as  the  New  Testament  is  to  any  zeal- 
ous Christian.  Hear  now  our  brave  old  witnesses  : 

Mr.  W:  "Abel  was  the  name  of  a  colored  man  in 
Nauvoo  who  had  received  the  Priesthood  from  Joseph. 
This  was  an  exception  to  the  rule,  colored  people  not 
being  entitled  to  the  blessings  of  Mormon  priesthood  (but 
Joseph  and  Co.  fixed  it).  Abel,  the  black  priest,  at  Joseph's 
command,  stole  a  quantity  of  lumber,  which  was  needed 
for  coffins,  at  one  time  there  being  great  mortality  in  Nau- 
voo on  account  of  malaria.  A  little  later  Joseph  ordered 
Abel  to  steal  a  whole  raft  of  lumber.  Abel  had  scruples 
about  this  second  order.  The  first  one  he  had  considered 
all  right,  since  the  lumber  served  to  bury  the  dead.  But 
he  was  a  good  Saint,  the  black  priest,  and  stole  the  raft 
all  the  same.  He  told  me  the  story  himself. 

"  One  day  I  was  ordered  to  go  and  lay  hands  on  the 
sick,  in  a  place  up  the  river  some  miles  from  Nauvoo. 
Elder  M.  R.,  now  a  bishop  in  Salt  Lake,  went  with  me. 


52  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  SmitJi. 

We  laid  our  hands  on  the  sick  and  it  seemed  to  have  good 
effect  :  they  felt  better.  Not  long  ago  I  met  Bishop  M. 
R.  in  the  street.  Says  he,  (  Do  you  remember  how  we 
cured  the  sick  near  Nauvoo?  I  cannot  understand  how 
we  could  succeed,  since  I  had  been  the  very  same  day 
driving  in  forty-five  head  of  cattle  which  the  brethren  had 
stolen  on  the  plains.'  W.  answered  :  'Well,  I  had  not 
been  stealing)  and  that,  perhaps,  explains  our  success." 

Mrs.  Pa. :  "  Vilate  Kimball,  the  apostle's  first  wife, 
an  honest  woman,  told  many  things  to  her  intimate 
friends.  She  used  to  say  that  her  house  in  Nauvoo  was  a 
regular  deposit  of  the  '  spoils  of  the  Gentiles. '  It  was  a 
favorite  sport  with  the  Mormons  to  rob  the  stores  of  their 
enemies,  and  to  ' consecrate'  all  the  goods  to  the  Lord. 
Mrs.  Kimball  had  in  her  house  innumerable  pieces  of 
calico,  muslin,  etc.,  generally  of  the  length  of  fifty 
yards.  '  I  know  it  to  be  a  fact  that  our  people  used  to  go 
out  nights  for  the  purpose  of  stealing  the  wash  from  the 
lines  of  the  Gentiles  in  a  circuit  of  twenty  miles  around 
Nauvoo,'  sister  Vilate  used  to  say." 

W.  W.  Phelps,  a  prominent  saint  in  olden  times, 
"Joseph's  Speckled  Bird,"  and  for  many  years  "  Devil  " 
in  the  Endowment  House,  said  to  an  old  friend  of  his  in 
Salt  Lake :  "If  the  Mormons  had  behaved  like  other 
people,  they  would  never  have  been  driven  from  Illinois  and 
Missouri ;  but  they  stole,  robbed  and  plundered  from  all 
their  neighbors,  and  all  the  time."  (The  daughter  of 
Phelps'  friend  told  this  little  confession  to  the  author.) 

Mr.  Sh. :  ."When  I  came  to  the  church  at  Nauvoo 
my  first  experience  was  this  :  The  priesthood  wanted  me 
to  be  captain  of  a  band  whose  task  it  was  to  stampede  the 
cattle  of  the  apostates,  and  to  kill  them  if  they  offered 
any  resistance.  I  had  given  the  church  all  I  had  — 
$23,000 — and  I  declined  the  honor  of  being  captain  of 
such  a  band." 

Mr.  W.  :  "Bogus  Brigham,  alias  Bishop  Miller  (of 
Prove),  was  a  big,  fleshy,  stupid  fellow.  He  had  a  flat- 
boat  on  the  Mississippi.  He  went  down  the  river  and 
stole  from  a  mill  a  whole  boat-full  of  flour.  He  has  told 
me  this  himself. ' ' 


Joseph)  Lee,  and  Brigham.  53 

THE  DON  JUAN  OF  NAUVOO. 


Don  Juan  in  Seville  and  in  Nauvoo  —  A  Well- Counted 
Hecatomb  of  Victims  —  Celestial  Assignation  Houses — 
The  Little  Oil  Bottle  — The  Innocent  Girl  at  the  Key- 
hole— Eliza  R.  ;  first  Spy  and  then  Mistress  —  Orgies 
in  Nauvoo — Abortion  and  Infanticide. 


Yes,  "Don  Juan";  that's  a  good  name.  I  remember 
to  have  heard  that  glorious  opera  of  Mozart  at  least  thirty 
times.  I  remember  how  I  used  to  be  overcome  with  two 
powerful  sensations  whenever  I  left  the  Vienna  Opera- 
house  :  one  was  a  strong  emotion  in  my  breast,  such  as 
a  decent  fellow  must  always  feel  after  having  witnessed 
the  punishment  of  an  unscrupulous  libertine ;  and  second, 
any  amount  of  smell  of  burnt  gunpowder  in  my  nostrils, 
proceeding  from  the  fireworks  which  represented  pretty 
well  a  middle-sized,  old-fashioned,  fire-and-brirnstone  hell 
to  burn  the  great  sinner  in. 

Now,  Joseph's  career  and  fearful  end  are,  to  my  heart 
and  nose,  exactly  the  same  over  again ;  same  emotion, 
same  smell,  coming  now  from  the  smoking  rifles  of  those 
treacherous  "Carthage  Grays."  So  let  us  say  "Don 
Juan,"  and  introduce  Joseph's  amorous  history  as  such. 

It  is  now  a  well  established  historical  fact  that  the 
origin  of  Mormon  polygamy,  or  "celestial  marriage," 
was  nothing  but  the  unbounded  and  ungoverned  passion 
of  the  prophet  for  the  other  sex.  "Joseph  and  John  D. 
Lee  were  the  most  libidinous  men  I  ever  knew"  says  my 
friend  Webb,  who  knew  the  prophet  for  eleven  years. 
" Joseph  was  the  most  licentious  and  Brigham  Young  the 
most  bloodthirsty  of  men"  says  Mrs.  Sarah  Pratt,  who  has 
known  all  these  Mormon  leaders  during  almost  their 
whole  career  in  the  church. 

In  one  of  my  many  interviews  with  the  aged,  life-long 
martyr  of  polygamy,  I  said  once  to  her:  "I  have  seen 


54  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

a  statement  in  a  book  that  Joseph  had  eighty  wives  at  the 
time  of  his  death.  Is  that  true?  "  Mrs.  Pratt  smiled  and 
said  :  "  He  had  many  more,  my  dear  sir  ;  at  least  he  had 
seduced  many  more,  and  those  with  whom  he  had  lived 
without  their  being  sealed  to  him,  were  sealed  to  him 
after  his  death,  to  be  among  the  number  of  his  "queens  " 
in  the  other  world.  All  those  women  were  divided 
among  his  friends  after  his  tragic  death,  so  that  they 
might  be  "proxy-husbands"  to  them  on  earth  ;  while  in 
the  celestial  kingdom  they  would,  with  their  offspring, 
belong  to  Brother  Joseph,  the  Christ  of  this  dispen- 
sation." 

Notwithstanding  that  I  had  lost,  while  pursuing  my 
study  of  Mormon  history,  a  good  deal  of  my  original 
faculty  of  becoming  surprised,  it  astonished  me  a  little 
to  hear  of  five  scores  of  ladies  entitled  to  the  high  dis- 
tinction of  beir;g  called  "wife  of  the  prophet."  But, 
comparing  notes,  which  I  have  collected  from  many 
witnesses,  I  cannot  but  come  to  the  conclusion  that 
Mrs.  Pratt  has  not  exaggerated :  that  Brother  Joseph, 
as  a  wholesale  sealer  "for  time,  and  all  eternity,"  was  the 
greatest  Don  Juan  of  this  or  any  other  dispensation. 

Mrs.  P.:  "Everybody  knew  in  Nauvoo  that  the 
Partridge  girls  lived  with  Joseph  a  long  time  before  he 
got  his  celebrated  revelation  about  celestial  marriage, 
dated  July  12,  1843.  The  Partridge  girls  were  very 
good-natured.  After  Joseph's  death  one  was  sealed  to 
Brigham  and  the  other  to  Apostle  Amasa  Lyman.  Jos- 
eph's taste  was  of  very  large  dimensions,  he  loved  them 
old  and  young,  pretty  and  homely.  He  sometimes  se- 
duced mothers  to  keep  them  quiet  about  his  con- 
nection with  their  daughters.  There  was  an  old 
woman  called  Durfee.  She  knew  a  good  deal  about  the 
prophet's  amorous  adventures  and,  to  keep  her  quiet,  he 
admitted  her  to  the  secret  blessings  of  celestial  bliss.  I 
don't  think  that  she  was  ever  sealed  to  him,  though  it 
may  have  been  the  case  after  Joseph's  death,  when  the 
temple  was  finished.  At  all  events,  she  boasted  here  in 
Salt  Lake  of  having  been  one  of  Joseph's  wives.  Heber 
C.  Kimball  and  Brigham  Young  took  the  lion's  share  at 


The  Little   Oil  Bottle.  55 

the  division  of  Joseph's  wives  after  his  death.  Joseph 
had  a  number  of  lady  friends,  sealed  or  not  sealed,  who 
permitted  him  to  use  their  houses  as  a  kind  of  assig- 
nation houses  for  rendezvous  with  other  women." 

Mr.  Jo.  :  "  You  remember  that  passage  in  the  Reve- 
lations about  celestial  marriage,  where  '  the  Lord '  says 
to  Joseph  :  '  and  if  „ she  be  with  another  man,  and  I  have 
not  appointed  unto  her  by  the  holy  anointing,  she  hath 
committed  adultery.'  Well,  an  old  Mormon,  who  had 
been  very  intimate  with  Joseph  inNauvoo,  assured  me  that 
the  prophet  always  carried  a  small  bottle  with  holy  oil 
about  his  person,  so  that  he  might  '  anoint  '*at  a  moment's 
notice  any  woman  to  be  a  queen  in  Heaven.  A  curious 
little  anecdote  was  told  me  by  a  gentleman  who  had  it 
direct  from  that  pure  man  of  God,  Heber  C.  Kimball. 
Brigham's  alter  ego  said  as  follows  :  '  I  sat  once  with 
Joseph  in  his  office  in  the  Mansion  House.  He  looked  out 
of  the  window  and  saw  weeding  in  a  garden  a  young  mar- 
ried woman  whom  we  both  knew.  He  told  me  to  go  to 
her  and  request  her  to  come  to  him,  and  he  would  have 
her  sealed  to  himself  this  very  moment.  I  went  and  told 
the  woman  to  come  to  Brother  Joseph.  She  ran  to  the 
house  to  comb  her  hair  and  *  fix  up '  generally,  and  then 
followed  me  to  the  prophet.  I  performed  the  sealing  cere- 
mony, and  retired.'  ' 

Mr.  J.  W.  C.  :  i(  Joseph  knew  himself  well.  He 
said  to  one  of  his  intimate  friends,  '  If  the  Lord  had  not 
taken  me  in  hand,  I  would  have  become  the  greatest 

w of  the  world.'  And  to  another  friend, he  said: 

'  Whenever  I  see  a  pretty  woman,  I  have  to  pray  for  grace.' 

Mrs.  P.:  "Joseph  did  not  content  himself  with  his 
spiritual  brides,  who  surrendered  themselves  to  him  'for 
Christ's  sake.'  There  lived  on  the  Mississippi,  near  the 
steamboat  landing,  a  certain  young  woman,  a  Mrs.  White, 
very  pretty  and  always  very  fashionably  dres'sed.  She  was 
in  the  habit  of  being  very  hospitable  to  the  captains  of 
the  steamboats  .  .  .  Joseph  was  one  of  her  customers  and 
used  to  contribute  to  the  expenses  of  her  establishment." 

Mr.  Wa.  :  "I  used  to  employ  a  poor  Mormon  woman 
for  domestic  sewing.  She  had  been  a  fanatic  Mormon  in 


56  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

her  time,  but  had  cooled  down  considerably  in  consequence 
of  her  experience  in  the  direction  of  celestial  marriage. 
Her  husband  had  taken  <  another  woman '  and  entirely 
neglected  her,  and  that  is  what  made  her  shaky  in  the 
faith.  She  once  felt  very  dull,  and  in  this  mood  she  told 
me  the  following  little  story.  '  When  in  Nauvoo,  I  was  a 
very  young  girl,  and  there  I  happened  to  be  witness  of  an 
event  that  gave  me  the  first  doubt  about  Joseph  the  pro- 
phet. I  was  servant  in  the  house  of  a  Mr.  Ford,  a  mer- 
chant who  had  a  store  in  Nauvoo.  He  was  wont  to  go  by 
steamer  to  St.  Louis,  to  make  purchases.  Whenever  Mr. 
Ford  was  absent  from  his  house,  the  prophet  used  to  call 
on  Mrs.  Ford.*  He  would  come,  chat  with  her  awhile,  and 
then,  they  would  retire  to  the  lady's  chamber.  For  a  while 
I  saw  nothing  in  this,  being  a  very  young,  innocent  girl, 
and  very  strong  in  the  faith.  But  some  way  or  other  sus- 
picion arose  in  my  mind.  So  when  Joseph  called  again 
— Mr.  Ford  had  gone  to  St.  Louis  the  day  before — I  could 
not  master  my  curiosity  any  more.  I  followed  the  pair 

stealthily,  and  putting  my  eye  to  the  keyhole  I  saw 

. '     Here  the  poor  woman  gave  me  a  description  of 

a  scene  which  was  surely  calculated  to  shake  even  the  most 
fanatic  faith.  But  this  is  not  all.  She  said  :  '  When- 
ever Mr.  Ford  came  home  from  St.  Louis,  he  used  to  com- 
plain about  business  :  'I  cannot  understand  it,'  he  used 
to  say,  '  when  I  am  here  money  comes  in  all  the  time,  and 
when  I  am  away  not  a  red  cent  gets  into  the  house.' 
Now  the  explanation  is  very  simple.  Whenever  Joseph 
had  prayed  with  Mrs.  Ford,  she  used  to  give  him  all  the 
money  in  the  till,  to  the  last  cent.  Since  that  time  I  do 
ask  myself  sometimes,  whether  Joseph  was  really  the  right 
kind  of  a  prophet."* 

The  women  in  Nauvoo  considered  it  a  high  honor  to 
receive  their  celestial  blessings  from  Joseph  himself.  He 
was  prophet,  seer  and  revelator,  lieutenant  general,  mayor ; 
he  was  not  only  the  Lord's  mouthpiece,  but  might  be 
President  of  the  United  States.  At  any  rate,  he  was, 

*This  story  has  been  told  the  author  by  a  perfectly  reliable  gentle- 
man, a  business  man  of  high  and  long  standing  in  Salt  Lake. 


He  Seals   Them  AIL  57 

without  having  the  title,  the  autocrat,  the  emperor  of  the 
rapidly  growing  Mormon  empire.  Is  it  any  wonder  that 
those  poor  souls  should  feel  greatly  elated  whenever  the 
anointed  of  the  Lord  deigned  to  accept  their  all  ? 

Mr.  W.  ;  "Joseph's  dissolute  life  began  already  in 
the  first  times  of  the*  church,  in  Kirtland.  lie  was  sealed 
there  secretly  to  Fanny  Alger.  Emma  was  furious,  and 
drove  the  girl,  who  was  unable  to  conceal  the  conse- 
quences of  her  celestial  relation  with  the  prophet,  out  of 
her  house." 

Mrs.  D.  :  "A  Mrs.  Granger  proved  a  very  reliable 
and  useful  friend  to  the  prophet.  He  was  once  at  her 
house,  in  bed,  and  not  alone.  The  bed  had  old-fashioned 
curtains.  All  at  once  Sister  Emma,  the  prophet's  wife, 
came  in,  and  said  excitedly  to  Mrs.  Granger:  '  Is 
Brother  Joseph  here?'  *  No,'  said  Mrs.  Granger,  '  he 
has  jusr  been  in,  but  went  out  again,'  getting  Sister  Emma 
out  of  the  house  as  hurriedly  as  possible.  Joseph  used  to 
tell  his  intimate  friends  how  dreadfully  he  had  felt  in  that 
bed,  expecting  every  moment  that  his  wife  might  look 
behind  the  curtains." 

Mrs.J.:  "Eliza  Partridge,  one  of  the  many  girls  sealed 
to  the  prophet,  used  to  sew  in  Emma's  room.  Once,  while 
Joseph  was  absent,  Emma  got  to  fighting  with  Eliza  and 
threw  her  down  the  stairs.  i  That  finished  my  sewing 
there,'  Eliza  used  to  say." 

"  In  Kirtland,  Joseph  was  once  caught  in  a house 

with  one  of  the  sisters.  This house  might  be  called  the 

humble  birthplace  of  the  revelation  on  celestial  marriage." 

Mr.  W.:  "  Joseph  kept  eight  girls  in  his  house,  calling 
them  his  i  daughters.'  Emma  threatened  that  she  would 
leave  the  house,  and  Joseph  told  her,  '  All  right,  you  can 
go.'  She  went,  but  when  Joseph  reflected  that  such  a  scandal 
would  hurt  his  prophetic  dignity,  he  followed  his  wife  and 
brought,  her  back.  But  the  eight  'daughters'  had  to 
leave  the  house." 

"Miss"  Eliza  R.  Snow,  one  of  the  most  curious 
figures  in  the  history  of  Mormondom,  played  an  impor- 
tant part  in  the  events  relating  to  celestial  hymenology. 
She  is  the  great  poetess  (and  such  a  poetess  !),  and  is  a 


58  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

sort  of  high  priestess  generally  of  Mormonism.  She 
used  to  anoint  the  sisters  in  the  Endowment  house  and  to 
play  the  part  of  Eve  in  the  celestial  drama  enacted  there. 
She  is  now  over  eighty  years  old,  yet  doing  the  same 
thing  in  the  Logan  temple  in  Utah.  *  Sister  Eliza  became 
the  church's  "elect  lady"  when  "the  Lord"  became 
thoroughly  incensed  with  Sister  Emma  for  her  con- 
tumacy. She  is  the  very  prototype  of  what  is  called 
"  female  roosters  "  in  Zion,  always  ready  to  enslave  and 
drag  men  and  women  into  polygamy.  She  was  one  of 
the  first  (willing)  victims  of  Joseph  in  Nauvoo.  She 
used  to  be  much  at  the  prophet's  house  and  "Sister 
Emma"  treated  her  as  a  confidential  friend.  Very  much 
interested  about  Joseph's  errands,  Emma  used  to  send 
Eliza  after  him  as  a  spy.  Joseph  found  it  out  and,  to 
win  over  the  gifted  (!)  young  poetess,  he  made  her  one  of 
his  celestial  brides.  There  is  scarcely  a  Mormon  unac- 
quainted with  the  fact  that  Sister  Emma,  on  the  other 
side,  soon  found  out  the  little  compromise  arranged 
between  Joseph  and  Eliza.  Feeling  outraged  as  a  wife 
and  betrayed  as  a  friend,  Emma  is  currently  reported  as 
having  had  recourse  to  a  vulgar  broomstick  as  an  instru- 
ment of  revenge  ;  and  the  harsh  treatment  received  at 
Emma's  hands  is  said  to  have  destroyed  Eliza's  hopes  of 
becoming  the  mother  of  a  prophet's  son.  So  far  one  of 
my  best  informed  witnesses.  Her  story  becomes  corrob- 
orated by  another  reliable  source.  Elder  Bullock,  who 
was  church  historian  at  that  time,  used  to  tell  the  follow- 
ing little  tale  :  "Joseph  said  on  the  morning  of  the  first 
parade  of  the  Nauvoo  Legion  '  This  is  the  proudest  day 
of  my  life.'  Many  people  believed  that  this  outburst 
of  pride  was  entirely  of  a  military  character.  But  I  and 
some  other  intimate  friends  of  the  prophet  knew  very  well 
that  he  was  proud  of  another  thing,  not  of  a  parade,  but 
of  a  conquest,  the  conquest  of  Eliza." 

Mr.  W.  :  "There  were  many  small  rooms,  with 
beds,  in  the  temple  in  Nauvoo.  They  turned  the  house 
of  the  Lord  into  a  house  of  prostitution.  The  wife  of 
Amasa  Lyman,  apostle  and  apostate,  used  to  say  that  they 
had  many  little  bedrooms  in  the  temple,  and  that  the 


High  Jinks  in  Nauvoo.  59 

newly-sealed  couples  used  to  retire  to  those  rooms  with 
provisions  for  two  or  three  days." 

Mr.  S.  :  "  Amasa  Lyman,  the  apostle,  who  later 
became  a  '  vile  apostate,'  told  me  that  Joseph,  Brigham 
Young,  and  other  apostles  used  to  dance  in  the  Endow- 
ment house  with  the  Lord's  '  hand-maids,'  their  spiritual 
wives.  Those  dances  were  performed  in  Adamic  costume ; 
and  a  fiddler  was  '  ordained  and  set  apart '  for  the  pur- 
pose. I  know  this  to  be  an  absolute  fact;  it  has  been 
confirmed  to  me  by  other  wrell-informed  persons.  That 
fiddler  went  with  a  party  of  Mormons  to  California,  San 
Bernardino  County,  and  remained  there." 

It  seems  that  the  "  souvenir  "  of  the  orgies  in  .'Nauvoo 
was  kept  alive  by  some  of  the  men  who  had  been  initiated 
into  the  jolly  secrets  of  the  innermost  ring  of  the  prophet's 
friends,  of  both  sexes.  Elder  Thomas  Margetts,  while  in 
England,  established,  in  Southampton,  a  "mock  endow- 
ment house,"  whose  walls  were  ornamented  by  the  most 
obscene  of  pictures,  and  where  orgies  were  performed  at 
least  the  equals  in  brutality  to  those  celebrated  in  Nauvoo. 
I  know  this  to  be  a  positive  fact.  It  was  attested  to  me 
by  two  former  elders  of  the  church  who  held  positions  of 
influence  in  the  "  conferences."  One  of  them  was 
present  at  the  church  trial  of  the  offenders.  Margetts 
was  later  killed  on  the  plains  by  Elder  Porter  Rockwell, 
whose  sacramental  duty  consisted  in  blowing  out  the 
brains  of  all  suspected  or  guilty  persons. 

Mrs.  P.:  "You  hear  often  that  Joseph  had  no 
polygamous  offspring.  The  reason  of  this  is  very  simple. 
Abortion  was  practiced  on  a  large  scale  in  Nauvoo.  Dr. 
John  C.  Bennett,  the  evil  genius  of  Joseph,  brought  this 
abomination  into  a  scientific  system.  He  showed  to  my 
husband  and  me  the  instruments  with  which  he  used  to 
*  operate  for  Joseph. '  There  was  a  house  in  Nauvoo, 
'right  across  the  flat,'  about  a  mile  and  a-half  from  the 
town,  a  kind  of  hospital.  They  sent  the  women  there, 
when  they  showed  signs  of  celestial  consequences.  Abor- 
tion was  practiced  regularly  in  this  house." 

Mrs.  H.  :  "  Many  little  bodies  of  new-born  children 
floated  down  the  Mississippi." 


60  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Joseph  Smith. 

May  21,  1886,  I  had  a  fresh  interview  with  Mrs.  Sarah 
M.  Pratt,  who  had  the  kindness  to  give  me  the  following 
testimony  additional  to  the  information  given  by  her  in 
our  interviews  in  the  spring  of  1885.  "I  want  you  to 
have  all  my  statements  correct  in  your  book,"  said  the 
noble  lady,  "and  put  my  name  to  them;  I  want  the 
truth,  the  full  truth,  to  be  known,  and  to  bear  the  respon- 
sibility of  it. 

"  I  have  told  you  that  the  prophet  Joseph  used  to 
frequent  houses  of  iU-fame.  Mrs.  White,  a  very  pretty 
and  attractive  woman,  once  confessed  to  me  that  she 
made  a  business  of  it  to  be  hospitable  to  the  captains  of 
the  Mississippi  steamboats.  She  told  me  that  Joseph  had 
made  her  acquaintance  very  soon  after  his  arrival  in 
Nauvoo,  and  that  he  had  visited  her  dozens  of  times.  My 
husband  (Orson  Pratt)  could  not  be  induced  to  believe 
such  things  of  his  prophet.  Seeing  his  obstinate  incred- 
ulity, Mrs.  White  proposed  to  Mr.  Pratt  and  myself  to 
put  us  in  a  position  where  we  could  observe  what  was 
going  on  between  herself  and  Joseph  the  prophet.  We, 
however,  declined  this  proposition.  You  have  made  a 
mistake  in  the  table  of  contents  of  your  book  in  calling 
this  woman  '  Mrs.  Harris. '  Mrs.  Harris  was  a  married 
lady,  a  very  great  friend  of  mine.  When  Joseph  had 
made  his  dastardly  attempt  on  me,  I  went  to  Mrs.  Harris 
to  unbosom  my  grief  to  her.  To  my  utter  astonishment, 
she  said,  laughing  heartily:  *  How  foolish  you  are  !  I 
don't  see  anything  so  horrible  in  it.  Why,  I  AM  HIS 

MISTRESS    SINCE    FOUR    YEARS  !  ' 

"  Next  door  to  my  house  was  a  house  of  bad  reputa- 
tion. One  single  woman  lived  there,  not  very  attractive. 
She  used  to  be  visited  by  people  from  Carthage  whenever 
they  came  to  Nauvoo.  Joseph  used  to  come  on  horse- 
back, ride  up  to  the  house  and  tie  his  horse  to  a  tree, 
many  of  which  stood  before  the  house.  Then  he  would 
enter  the  house  of  the  woman  from  the  back.  I  have 
seen  him  do  this  repeatedly. 

"Joseph  Smith,  the  son  of  the  prophet,  and  president 
of  the  re-organized  Mormon  church,  paid  me  a  visit,  and 
I  had  a  long  talk  with  him.  I  saw  that  he  was  not  inclined 


A  Little  Job  for  Joseph.  61 

to  believe  the  truth  about  his  father,  so  I  said  to  him : 
( You  pretend  to  have  revelations  from  the  Lord.  Why 
don't  you  ask  the  Lord  to  tell  you  what  kind  of  a  man 
your  father  really  was  ? '  He  answered  :  '  If  my  father 
had  so  many  connections  with  women,  where  is  the  prog- 
eny?' I  said  to  him:  '  Your  father  had  mostly  inter- 
course with  married  women,  and  as  to  single  ones,  Dr. 
Bennett  was  always  on  hand,  when  anything  happened.' 
"  It  was  in  this  way  that  I  became  acquainted  with  Dr. 
John  C.  Bennett.  When  my  husband  went  to  England  as 
a  missionary,  he  got  the  promise  fro!?!  Joseph  that  I  should 
receive  provisions  from  the  tithing-house.  Shortly  after- 
ward Joseph  made  his  propositions  to  me  and  they  enraged 
me  so  that  I  refused  to  accept  any  help  from  the  tithing 
house  or  from  the  bishop.  Having  been  always  very 
clever  and  very  busy  with  my  needle,  I  began  to  take  in 
sewing  for  the  support  of  myself  and  children,  and  suc- 
ceeded soon  in  making  myself  independent.  When 
Bennett  came  to  Nauvoo  Joseph  brought  him  to  my  house, 
stating  that  Bennett  wanted  some  sewing  done,  and  that 
I  should  do  it  for  the  doctor.  I  assented  and  Bennett  gave 
me  a  great  deal  of  work  to  do.  He  knew  that  Joseph  had 
his  plans  set  on  me  ;  Joseph  made  no  secret  of  them  before 
Bennett,  and  went  so  far  in  his  impudence  as  to  make 
propositions  to  me  in  the  presence  of  Bennett,  his  bosom 
friend.  Bennett,  who  was  of  a  sarcastic  turn  of  mind,  used 
to  come  and  tell  me  about  Joseph  to  tease  and  irritate  me. 
One  day  they  came  both,  Joseph  and  Bennett,  on  horse- 
back to  my  house.  Bennett  dismounted,  Joseph  remained 
outside.  Bennett  wanted  me  to  return  to  him  a  book  I 
had  borrowed  from  him.  It  was  a  so-called  doctor-book. 
I  had  a  rapidly  growing  little  family  and  wanted  to  inform 
myself  about  certain  matters  in  regard  to  babies,  etc., — 
this  explains  my  having  borrowed  that  book.  While  giving 
Bennett  his  book,  I  observed  that  he  held  something  in 
the  left  sleeve  of  his  coat.  Bennett  smiled  and  said  :  "  Oh, 
a  little  job  for  Joseph,  one  of  his  women  is  in  trouble. ' '  Say- 
ing this,  he  took  the  thing  out  of  his  left  sleeve.  It  was  a 
pretty  long  instrument  of  a  kind  I  had  never  seen  before. 
It  seemed  to  be  of  steel  and  was  crooked  at  one  end.  I 


62  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Joseph  Smith. 

heard  afterwards  that  the  operation  had  been  performed ; 
that  the  woman  was  very  sick,  and  that  Joseph  was  very 
much  afraid  that  she  might  die,  but  she  recovered. 

"  Bennett  was  the  most  intimate  friend  of  Joseph  for  a 
time.  He  boarded  with  the  prophet.  He  told  me  once 
that  Joseph  had  been  talking  with  him  about  his  troubles 
with  Emma,  his  wife.  '  He  asked  me,'  said  Bennett, 
smilingly,  <  what  he  should  do  to  get  out  of  the  trouble  ?  r 
I  said,  '  this  is  very  simple.  GET  A  REVELATION  that 
polygamy  is  right,  and  all  your  troubles  will  be  at 
an  end.'  % 

"The  only  ' wives'  of  Joseph  that  lived  in  the  Man- 
sion House  were  the  Partridge  girls.  This  is  explained 
by  the  fact  that  they  were  the  servants  in  the  hotel  kept 
by  the  prophet.  But  when  Emma  found  out  that  Joseph 
went  to  their  room,  they  had  to  leave  the  house. 

"I  remember  Emma's  trip  to  St  Louis.  I  begged 
her  to  buy  for  me  a  piece  of  black  silk  there. 

"You  should  bear. in  mind  that  Joseph  did  not  think 
of  a  marriage  or  sealing  ceremony  for  many  years.  He 
used  to  state  to  his  intended  victims,  as  he  did  to  me: 
'  God  does  not  care  if  we  have  a  good  time,  if  only  other 
people  do  not  know  it?  He  only  introduced  a  marriage 
ceremony  when  he  had  found  out  that  he  could  not  get 
certain  women  without  it.  I  think  Louisa  Beeman  was 
the  first  case  of  this  kind.  If  any  woman,  like  me, 
opposed  his  wishes,  he  used  to  say :  '  Be  silent,  or  I  shall 
ruin  your  character.  My  character  must  be  sustained  in 
the  interest  of  the  church/  When  he  had  assailed  me 
and  saw  that  he  could  not  seal  my  lips,  he  sent  word  to 
me  that  he  would  work  my  salvation,  if  I  kept  silent.  I 
sent  back  that  I  would  talk  as  much  as  I  pleased  and  as 
much  as  I  knew  to  be  the  truth,  and  as  to  my  salvation,  I 
would  try  and  take  care  of  that  myself. 

"  In  his  endeavors  to  ruin  my  character  Joseph  went 
so  far  as  to  publish  an  extra-sheet  containing  affidavits 
against  my  reputation.  When  this  sheet  was  brought  to 
me  I  discovered  to  my  astonishment  the  names  of  two 
people  on  it,  man  and  wife,  with  whom  I  had  boarded 
for  a  certain  time.  I  never  thought  much  of  the  man, 


Hyrum  Saves  the   Church.  63 

but  the  woman  was  an  honest  person  and  I  knew  that  she 
must  have  been  forced  to  do  such  a  thing  against  me.  So 
I  went  to  their  house ;  the  man  left  the  house  hurriedly 
when  he  saw  me  coming.  I  found  the  wife  and  said  to 
her  rather  excitedly  :  i  What  does  it  all  mean  ?  '  She 
began  to  sob.  'It  is  not  my  fault,'  said  she.  '  Hyrum 
Smith  came  to  our  house,  with  the  affidavits  all  written 
out,  and  forced  us  to  sign  them.  ''Joseph  and  the  church 
must  be  saved J  said  he.  We  saw  that  resistance  was 
useless,  they  would  have  ruined  us;  so  we  signed  the 
papers.'  ' 

Let  us  introduce  now  a  statement  as  to  the  reliability 
of  Mrs.  Pratt.  She  is  well  known  in  Salt  Lake  City  and 
all  over  Utah  as  possessing  all  the  virtues  of  an  excellent 
wife  and  mother;  but  outsiders  may  wish  to  know  of 
Mrs.  Pratt' s  standing  in  this  community,  and  I  take 
pleasure  in  giving  a  testimonial : 

SALT  LAKE  CITY,  May  1886. 

We,  the  undersigned,  cordially  bear  witness  to  the 
excellent  reputation  of  Mrs.  Sarah  M.  Pratt.  We  feel 
well  assured  that  Mrs.  Pratt  is  a  lady  whose  statements 
are  absolutely  to  be  depended  upon.  Entire  frankness 
and  a  high  sense  of  honor  and  truth  are  regarded  in  this 
community,  where  she  has  dwelt  since  1847,  as  ner  ruling 
characteristics. 

CHARLES  S.  ZANE, 
Chief  Justice  Utah  Territory. 

ARTHUR  L.  THOMAS, 

Secretary  Utah  Territory. 

REV.  J.  W.  JACKSON, 
U.  S.  A.    Chaplain,  Fort  Douglas. 

I  could  very  readily  augment  this  testimonial  with 
many  others  were  it  deemed  worth  while. 


64  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

THE    NAUVOO    PANDEMONIUM. 


Don  Juan  at  the  Hight  of  His  Wickedness  —  Poor 
Emma !  —  Rushton  Describes  a  Family  Scene  with 
Blows  and  Sobs — Ben  Winchester's  Tale — Swapping 
Wives  —  A  Wife  for  Cat-fish  —  The  Wives  of  the 
Twelve. 


The  way  of  the  transgressor  is,  as  a  rule,  not  only 
hard,  but  pretty  rapid,  too.  Look  at  the  celebrated 
ancestors  of  our  prophet,  the  emperors  Caligula  and 
Nero ;  look  at  his  very  prototype,  John  of  Leyden,  and 
other  crowned  debauchees,  rushing  from  passion  to 
frenzy,  from  frenzy  to  raving  madness.  The  gods  blind 
whom  they  want  to  destroy.  As  to  King  Joseph  and  his 
capital,  Nauvoo,  it  may  be  truly  said  that  there  never  was, 
and — let  us  trust — never  will  be  in  any  community  of  this 
"  sweet  home"  loving,  pure-principled  republic  another 
edition  of  such  a  whirlpool  of  secret  vice,*  of  such  a  demo- 
niac bacchanal,  including  as  dancers  all  the  prominent  men 
and  even  many  "ladies"  of  a  city.  Let  it  be  remem- 
bered forever  that  the  men  who  know  all  the  facts 
published  by  me,  and  more,  deny  them  daily  as  "  infamous 
slanders,"  and  that  these  same  men  are  the  leaders  of 
this  abomination  called  a  "church"  by  its  illiterate 
dupes  only  and  by  the  over-cultivated  ladies  and  gentle- 
men of  the  East. 

Joseph  Smith  was  shrewd  enough  to  have  a  few  honest 
men  around  him  whom  he  placed  in  responsible  positions, 
who  filled  them  with  fidelity  and  self-sacrifice,  being  at 
the  same  time  in  a  great  measure  ignorant  of  the  duplicity 
and  wickedness  of  the  impostor.  None  were  more 

*  "  What  would  it  have  done  for  us  if  they  had  known  that  many 
of  us  had  more  than  one  wife  when  we  lived  in  Illinois?  They 
would  have  broken  us  up,  doubtless,  worse  than  they  did. ..  .but  we 
shall  come  to  a  point  where  we  shall  have  all  the  wives  and  they  will 
have  none." — Orson  Hyde's  sermon  in  1854,  Journal  of  Discourses, 
Vol.  II.,  p.  83. 


"  Come  in,  Brother  Rushton"  65 

faithful  or  truthful  than  Elder  Richard  Rushton,  the 
trusty  steward  employed  by  Joseph  in  the  Mansion 
House  in  Nauvoo.  Rushton  was  a  good,  honest  man 
of  fine  instincts,  and  had  served  faithfully  for  some 
years,  holding  that  position  when  the  bodies  of  Joseph 
and  Hyrum  were  brought  to  Nauvoo,  and  he  received 
them.  It  was  his  duty  to  lock  up,  every  night,  most 
of  the  rooms,  especially  the  pantry,  storeroom,  larder, 
etc.,  and  then'to  give  the  keys  to  "  Sister  Emma."  .She 
would,  on  retiring,  place  the  bunch  of  keys  in  a  large 
pocket  that  was  nailed  on  the  wall  at  the  head  of  her 
bed.  About  4  o'clock  every  morning  Brother  Rushton 
would  tap  at  the  bedroom  door  in  order  to  receive  the 
keys  and  open  the  hotel.  Emma  on  hearing  the  raps 
would  say,  "  Come  in,  Brother  Rushton,"  and  would  hand 
him  the  keys  from  the  pocket,  and  give  such  orders  as 
were  needed. 

It  so  "  came  to  pass"  once  upon  a  time,  that  the 
groceries  and  other  provisions  necessary  for  the  use  of  the 
hotel  were  nearly  exhausted,  and  a  famine  seemed  pending 
in  the  larder.  Fortunately,  however,  Joseph  sold  a  fine, 
black  horse  which  had  been  presented  to  him,  for  three 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars  or  so,  and  also  a  city  lot  or  two, 
for  about  four  hundred  dollars.  With  the  sales  of  the 
horse  and  land,  and  a  little  cash  on  hand,  he  mustered 
up  about  nine  hundred  dollars,  which  he  cheerfully 
placed  in  Emma's  hands,  saying:  "We  are  out  of  pro- 
visions; take  this  and  go  down  to  St.  Louis,  and  buy 
what  is  needed.  Capt.  Dan  Jones  will  fire  up  the  '  Maid 
of  Iowa '  (a  little  steamboat  always  ready  for  church  use) 
and  take  you  down."  Emma  started  for  St.  Louis.  The 
going,  purchasing  and  return  occupied  about  a  week. 
At  night,  after  the  departure  of  the  "elect  lady,"  the 
steward  gave  the  keys  to  the  prophet,  and  in  the  morning 
he  as  usual  stepped  lightly  and  rapped  at  the  door  of  the 
bed-room.  A  voice,  strange  to  his  ear,  yet  of  feminine 
softness,  rather  startled  him  in  response  with  the  words 
"Come  in."  He  entered  timidly,  when  lo  and  be- 
hold !  there  lay  in  Emma's  bed  and  stead  the  beautiful 
and  attractive  young  wife  of  Elder  Edward  Blossom,  a 


66  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

high  councilor  of  Zion,  (afterwards  exalted  to  the  apostle- 
ship  by  Brigham  Young).  With  a  pair  of  laughing, 
glistening  eyes  and  with  a  smile  of  happy  sweetness,  she 
spoke  in  soift  and  pleading  accents:  " I suppose,  Brother 
Rushton,  I  shall  have  to  be  Sister  Emma  to  you  this 
morning"  as  she  gracefully  handed  the  keys  to  him. 
Astonished  and  blushing,  the  faithful  steward  left  the 
room  to  resume  his  duties,  leaving  the  adulterous  prophet 
and  his  charmer  to  themselves.  The  same  thing  was 
repeated  each  morning  during  the  week  Emma  was  away 
purchasing  supplies  for  the  prophet's  hotel. 

In  relating  this  occurrence  to  another  of  my  most 
precise  and  valuable  witnesses,  Brother  Rushton,  though 
no  seeker  after  effect,  added  the  following  picturesque 
details :  "  Emma  used  to  keep  the  keys  of  the  hotel  in  a 
richly  ornamented  wallet  given  to  her  by  some  well-to-do 
English  friends.  When  Joseph  saw  how  dumbfounded  I 
was  he  sat  up  in  his  red  flannel  night  robe  and  said  in  a 
hasty,  commanding  tone  :  '  That }  s  all  right,  Brother 
Rushton,'  making  a  movement  with  his  outstretched 
right  hand  towards  me.  The  prophet's  gesture  and  tone 
gave  me  to  understand  that  I  was  to  go  and  keep  my 
mouth  shut.' ' 

"One  afternoon,"  said  Mr.  Rushton,  the  steward,, 
"after  the  hurry  of  the  dinner  work  was  over,  I  was 
sitting  in  my  little  office,  when  looking  through  my 
window,  I  saw  the  Prophet  Joseph,  followed  by  the  two 
Partridge  girls,  coming  from  the  back  part  of  the  lot  and 
enter,  all  three,  the  little  log  cabin  which  had  been  the 
first  home,  in  Nauvoo,  of  the  prophet  before  the  "  Man- 
sion "  was  built.  A  minute  or  so  afterwards  Sister  Emma 
came  to  my  office  door  and  asked  me :  '  Did  you  see 
Brother  Joseph  and  the  two  Partridge  girls  go  into  the 
cabin?  '  Mr.  Rushton  didn't  like  to  split  on  the  prophet, 
and  yet  didn't  like  to  tell  a  lie;  and  at  last  he  replied 
hesitatingly:  "Well — I  think  —  perhaps  —  well — I  may 
have  seen  them. "  "I'll  just  put  on  my  sun-bonnet  and 
go  and  see  what  they  are  about,"  replied  she,  and  stepped 
over.  A  very  short  time  after  her  entry  she  appeared  at 
the  door  of  the  cabin,  being  pushed  out  rudely,  and 


Emma   Weeps  and  Forgives.  67 

came  to  the  office  door  crying  bitterly.  "  Oh  Brother 
Rushton,"  she  said  in  broken  sobs,  "I  went  into  the 
cabin,  I  found  those  two  girls  with  my  husband,  and 
Joseph  jumped  up  in  a  rage  when  he  saw  that  I  had  sur- 
prised them  and  struck  me  a  horrid  blow ;  "  at  the  same 
time  she  showed  me  the  mark  of  the  blow  on  her  cheek. 
She  then  dropped  fainting  on  a  chair,  weeping  and 
uttering  words  of  despair.  A  few  minutes  afterward 
Joseph  entered  and  going  up  to  Emma,  said  in  a  meek, 
repentant  manner,  "  Oh,  my  dear  Emma,  I  am  so  sorry  I 
struck  you.  I  did  it  in  a  passion  ;  you  must  forgive  me.  I 
did  it  without  a  thought,  or  I  wouldn't  have  done  it.  For- 
give me.  But  you  shouldn't  be  running  after  me,  watch- 
ing me,  and  prying  at  my  actions."  He  apologized,  and 
kissed  Emma,  and  apologized  again,  and  then  finally  she 
arose  and  they  went  into  the  parlor  together  apparently 
reconciled," 

Another  characteristic  anecdote  connected  yet  with 
the  Kirtland  times  of  the  "  church,"  was  related  to  me  by 
an  ex-elder  of  perfect  reliability.  I  insert  it  here,  be- 
cause it  shows  what  kind  of  a  woman-eater  this  prophet 
had  been  in  early  days  already.  A  large,  influential 
''branch  of  the  church"  existed  in  Philadelphia,  over 
which  Ben  Winchester  successfully  presided.  Joe  visited 
that  church  occasionally  and  enjoyed  the  associations 
much.  On  one  occasion,  it  having  been  announced  that 
the  prophet  was  to  preach,  he  sat  on  the  platform  by  the 
side  of  his  faithful  presiding  elder  while  awaiting  the  time 
to  open  services.  Now  and  then  as  some  handsome  young 
woman  came  up  the  aisle  and  took  a  seat,  Joe  would 
turn  to  Elder  Winchester  and  ask,  "  Who  is  that  beautiful 
lady?"  or,  "Who  is  that  fine,  lovely  creature?"  On 
being  told,  "  that  is  Miss  So-and-so,"  or,  "Mrs.  So-and- 
so,"  or,  "Sister  So-and-so,"  he  did  not  at  all  disguise  his 
wishes;  he  made  no  "bones"  of  it;  but  would  say  in 
reply,  "I'd  just  like  talk  to  her  alone  for  a  while,"  or, 
"  I  would  like  her  for  a  companion  for  a  night,"  and 
other  expressions  too  plain  and  vulgar  for  me  to  write. 
[I  can  give  names  if  needed.] 

After  the  polygamy  doctrine    was  secretly  whispered 


68  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

about  among  the  chosen  few  in  Nauvoo,  there  were  great 
surmisings  on  the  part  of  those  who  desired  to  know  the 
"  mysteries  of  the  kingdom."  Many  imperfect  theories 
were  ventilated,  and  false  conclusions  arrived  at.  Joe  had 
formulated  no  plan,  and  did  not,  as  yet,  have  any  rules 
whereby  to  direct  his  intimate  friends,  much  less  the  com- 
mon saints  who  were  not  in  the  ring.  Hence,  having  no 
"law,"  every  man  and  woman  was  a  law  to  himself  or 
^herself,  and  they  went  on  their  own  course.  In  a  small 
house  in  Nauvoo,  consisting  only  of  two  rooms,  dwelt  two 
men  and  their  wives.  Each  man  and  wife  occupied  one 
room.  These  couples  having  got  some  inkling  of  the  new 
order  of  things,  came  to  the  conclusion  that  they  might  as 
well  live  up  to  their  privileges.  They  accordingly  ex- 
changed partners,  and  lived  in  this  condition  for  several 
weeks,  when  former  relations  were  resumed.  Such  inci- 
dents, with  variations,  were  by  no  means  uncommon. 
(My  friend  Webb  says  there  was  a  great  deal  of  swapping 
and  exchanging  done  in  Nauvoo  as  to  wives.  Old  Cooks 
sold  his  wife  for  a  load  of  catfish,  and  from  that  time  on 
he  was  always  called  "Catfish  Cooks.")  Another  party 
was  anxious  for  a  similar  exchange,  and  the  little  story 
proves  that  the  sisters  were  sometimes  as  desirous  for  it  as 
the  brethren.  Brother  Rushton  and  his  wife  were  at  last 
reluctantly  compelled  to  know  what  was  going  on  among 
the  saints  in  Nauvoo,  but  they  repelled  all  attempts  of 
either  male  or  female  to  draw  them  into  the  new  practices. 
Brother  Blossom,  a  high  priest  and  member  of  the  high 
council  of  that  stake  of  Zion,  had  his  eyes  upon  and 
coveted  Mrs.  Rushton,  his  neighbor's  wife ;  the  high 
priest's  wife  had  her  own  upon  Brother  Rushton,  and  this 
nice  pair  sought  an  exchange  with  Rushton  and  wife. 
Sister  Blossom  approached  Brother  R.  with  her  sweetest 
smiles,  telling  him  that  B.  had  sent  her  to  arrange  with 
him  that  he  (R.)  should  have  her  as  a  wife,  and  B.  should 
have  Sister  R.  for  his  wife,  and  that  mutual  arrangement 
could  and  should  be  made  to  that  effect ;  she  and  B. 
were  perfectly  willing  to  thus  exchange,  if  R.  and  wife 
were,  and  that  it  was  according  to  the  "law  and  will  of 
the  Lord."  Knowing  the  antipathy  of  Mrs.  R.  to  such 


A  Lady  Delegate  to   Congress.  69 

proposals,  R.  told  Mrs.  B.  to  ask  his  wife  about  it,  and 
whatever  she  agreed  to,  he  would  do.  The  mission  was 
in  vain ;  the  good  lady  refused  to  accede  to  their  vile 
proposal.  On  a  future  occasion  the  high  priest  sent  his 
wife  to  Mrs.  R.  with  a  basket  of  fresh  sweet  potatoes  as  a 
present,  and  renewed  the  request  for  an  exchange  of 
partners.  The  good  lady  became  indignant  at  the  per- 
sistency of  the  pair,  and  ordered  her  to  take  the  basket 
out  of  her  sight.  "Does  he  think,"  she  said,  "he  can 
bribe  me  with  a  basket  of  potatoes  ?  " 

At  another  time,  a  rather  interesting  old  maid,  sister 
of  one  of  the  dignitaries  of  the  church,  came  a  distance  of 
some  sixty  miles  to  see  Brother  R.,  and  begged  him 
piteously  to  take  her  as  a  plural  wife  —  she  had  a  revela- 
tion that  he  was  to  be  her  husband  "right  now."  On 
his  positive  refusal,  she  left  him  in  tears,  prostrate  with 
disappointment. 

There  were  in  Nauvoo,  when  Joseph  was  in  his  glory 
as  "the  greatest  prophet  that  ever  lived,"  a  young  mer- 
chant and  his  wife  whom  he  dearly  loved.  She  bore  to 
him  several  children,  but  became  fascinated  with  Joe  and 
with  his  claims  to  "exalt  "  any  woman  who  would  yield 
to  his  wishes  and  become  his  "wife."  The  husband  was 
sent  on  a  mission,  and  during  his  absence  Joseph 
"gathered"  the  wife  to  his  embraces,  and  she  was 
"  sealed  "  one  of  his  harem.  After  Joe's  "  martyrdom," 
she  became  the  wife  of  Brigham,  as  a  proxy  wife  for  Joe, 
that  any  posterity  which  might  ensue  should  be  Joe* s  in 
heaven.  One  child,  a  daughter,  was  the  result  of  this- 
relation,  but  the  young  lady  was  always  known  by  the 
name  of  Young,  never  by  name  of  Smith,  robbing  Brother 
Joseph  of  his  earthly  glory,  at  least.  This  same  wife  of 
three  men  is  often  sent  as  a  representative  of  the  women 
of  Utah  to  the  women's  conventions  abroad  in  America, 
and  to  the  lobbies  of  Congress.  If  she  truly  represents 
Utah  women,  the  reader  may  guess  the  character  of  those 
represented ;  and  if  these  are  not  such  as  she  represents, 
then  Utah  women  are  not  represented  —  yet  she  is  their 
choice.  (Lee  says,  in  his  "Confession,"  of  this  lady: 
"  H.  B.  Jacobs  accompanied  me  as  a  fellow  companion. 


70  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

Jacobs  was  bragging  about  his  wife  and  two  children  — 
what  a  true,  virtuous,  lovely  woman  she  was.  He  almost 
worshiped  her;  but  little  did  he  think  that  in  his  absence 
she  was  sealed  to  the  prophet  Joseph,  and  was  his  wife." 

P-  i320 

Joseph  Smith  finally  demanded  the  wives  of  all  the 
twelve  apostles  that  were  at  home  then  in  Nauvoo.  And 
why  not?  Were  the  "  apostles"  not  his  slaves,  his 
property,  including  all  they  had  ?  Woman  in  Mormon- 
dom  has  been,  from  the  beginning  a  chattel,  and  man,  a 
slave.  That  Joseph  did  demand  and  obtain  the  wives  of 
the  twelve,  is  proved  beyond  doubt  by  irrefutable  testi- 
mony. But  there  is  further  proof  from  a  very  high 
authority.  Jedediah  Grant,  Brigham's  counselor,  Snd 
soul  of  the  horrible  "Reformation"  which  culminated  in 
the  Mountain  Meadows  Massacre,  said  in  one  of  his 
harangues  which  were  as  bloody  as  they  were  filthy : 
"Do  you  think  that  the  prophet  Joseph  wanted  the  wives 
of  the  Twelve  that  he  asked  for ;  merely  to  gratify  himself? 
No  ;  he  did  it  to  try  the  brethren.  But  if  President  Young 
wants  my  wives,  or  any  of  them,  he  can  have  them,'1'1  etc. 
(He  didn't  consult  his  "  wives" — oh,  no;  they  are  only 
like  cattle,  to  be  given  away  if  desired.  Is  the  Mormon 
woman  equal  to  the  man,  according  to  that?)  That  was 
said  publicly  before  thousands  of  hearers,  men  and 
women.  Mormonism  has  produced  the  most  abject 
slavery  ever  witnessed  in  the  history  of  the  world.  Hear 
•'  Jeddy  "  Grant  again  : 

"  What  would  a  man  of  God  say,  who  felt  right,  when  Joseph 
asked  him  for  his  money  ?  He  would  say  :  '  Yes  ;  and  I  wish  I  had 
more  to  build  up  the  kingdom  of  God.'  Or  if  he  came  and  said  :  '  I 
want  your  wife !  '  *  Oh,  yes,'  he  would  say  ;  '  there  she  is.  There  are 
plenty  more.'  "  * 

And  Orson  Pratt,  another  man  of  God,  follows  in  the 
same  strain  : 

"  Consecrate  everything  to  the  Lord  that  you  have  —  flocks  and 
herds,  gold  and  silver,  wearing  apparel,  watches,  jewelry,  your  wives 
and  children  —  of  course.  The  wives  have  given  themselves  to  their 

*  Journal  of  Discourses,  the  official  collection  of  Mormon  ser- 
mons, vol.  i.,  p.  14. 


Leonora  Taylor  and  Vilate  Kimball.  71 

husband,  and  he  has  to  consecrate  them.    They  are  the  Lord's  \id  esf, 
His  chosen  prophet's. —  W.~\    He  has  only  lent  them  to  us."  * 

Mrs.  Leonora  Taylor,  first  and  legal  wife  of  the  present 
head  of  the  church,  and  aunt  of  George  Q.  Cannon,  told 
ladies  who  still  reside  in  this  city,  that  all  the  wives  of 
the  twelve  were,  in  fact,  consecrated  to  the  Lord,  that  is, 
to  his  servant,  Joseph  ;  and  that  Joseph's  demands,  and 
her  husband's  soft  compliance  so  exasperated  her  as  to 
cause  her  '  the  loss  of  a  finger  and  of  a  baby,'  The  latter 
she  lost  by  a  premature  delivery,  being  at  the  time  in  a  deli- 
cate condition,  and  in  her  fury  for  help,  having  thrust  her 
clenched  fist  through  a  window-pane,  lost  one  of  her  fingers. 
Her  honor  was  saved  from  the  attack  of  Don  Juan.  Mrs. 
Taylor  was  mistaken,  however,  in  her  general  statement, 
which  is  just  a  little  too  sweeping.  She,  no  doubt,  was 
lied  to  by  John  Taylor  himself,  or  by  some  one  else  '  in 
authority,'  for  the  purpose  of  overcoming  her  wifely 
scruples.  Besides  herself,  there  were  two  others,  who 
were  exceptions  in  this  atrocious  case.  Vilate  Kimball, 
the  first  wife  of  Heber  C.  Kimball,  later  the  righthand- 
man  and  clown  of  King  Brigham,  and  one  of  the  most 
disgusting  types  of  Mormon  "history — Vilate  was  a  good, 
pure  woman,  she  was  better  than  her  '  religion,'  though  a 
slave  to  it  in  a  manner.  She  loved  her  husband,  and  he, 
not  yet  developed  as  the  brute  he  later  became,  loved  her, 
hence  a  reluctance  to  comply  with  the  Lord's  demand 
that  Vilate  should  be  consecrated  like  the  moveable  prop- 
erty of  the  other  'Apostles.'  Still,  Joseph  was  to  them  a 
prophet,  and  therefore  the  act  might  be  right  in  him, 
though  simply  damnable  in  any  other  man.  They  thought 
the  command  of  the  Lord  must  be  obeyed  in  some  way, 
and  a  i  proxy  '  way  suggested  itself  to  their  minds.  They 
had  a  young  daughter  only  getting  out  of  girlhood,  and 
the  father  apologizing  to  the  prophet  for  his  wife's  reluct- 
ance to  comply  with  his  desires,  stating,  however,  that  the 
act  must  be  right  or  it  would  not  be  counselled — the  ab- 
ject slave  of  a  father  asked  Joe  if  his  daughter  wouldrf  t  do 
as  well  as  his  wife.  Joe  replied  that  she  would  do  just  as 

*  Journal  of  Discourses,  vol.  i.,  p.  98. 


72  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

well,  and  the  Lord  would  accept  her  instead.  The  half-ripe 
bud  of  womanhood  was  delivered  over  to  the  prophet. 
Helen  Mar  Whitney — this  is  her  name  now — still  lives  and 
belongs  to  that  undefinable  class  of  wrinkled  old  women, 
only  to  be  found  in  Mormonism,  who  pride  themselves  in 
their  shame,  in  speeches  and  in  print.  She  writes 
pamphlets  on  .the  divinity  of  polygamy  !  Other  <  plurals  ' 
do  the  same.  It  is  the  saddest,  the  most  disheartening 
kind  of  literature  I  have  ever  seen  in  any  country.  It 
makes  me  do  desperate  things.  It  makes  me  prefer  the 
worst  of  mother-in-laws  to  such  '  ladies,'  and  gives  me  a 
wonderfully  favorable  idea  of  the  odalisques  of  those  old 
bearded  Turks — they  are  pretty  and  they  don't  write, 
you  see. 

The  other  intended  victim,  who  escaped  the  prophet's 
clutches  was  high-spirited  Mrs.  Sarah  M.  Pratt.  She 
stoutly  repelled  his  repeated  approaches,  though  she  had 
to  pay  the  penalty  for  refusing  to  'consecrate'  her  honor. 
She  has  been  ever  since  hated  and  slandered  by  the  Mor- 
mon leaders.  Joe  threatened  her,  if  she  divulged  to  her 
husband  or  anyone  else  what  he  had  proposed;  adding 
"  if  you  do,  I  will  ruin  your  character.  I  will  deny  every- 
thing, and  the  Church  will  believe  me  and  not  you.  My 
standing  in  the  Church  must  be  upheld  at  any  cost  and 
sacrifice."  He  kept  his  word.  He  tried  to  starve  her 
and  her  children;  he  used  all  his  influence  against  her  ; 
even  leading  mob  demonstrations  for  that  purpose,  and 
abusing  her  from  the  pulpit.  He  caused  evil  reports  to  be 
circulated  about  her  and  tried  to  make  her  an  object  of 
detestation  as  an  apostate  Brigham  Young  took  up 
Joseph's  course  in  this,  as  he  did  in  everything  else,  and 
tried  to  rob  her  of  her  modest  property  in  Salt  Lake  City, 
the  support  of  herself  and  a  family  of  small  children, 
mostly  sons,  whom  she  has  reared  toman's  estate  and  who 
would  do  honor  to  any  community.  Her  husband,  Orson 
Pratt,  who  became,  under  the  influence  of  polygamy,  as 
coarsely  selfish  as  any  other  "polyg,"  went  so  far  in  his 
abject  slavery,  as  to  join  Prophet  Brigham  in  his  attempt 
to  defraud  the  victim,  his  own  wife  and  the  mother  of  his 
children.  It  was  my  earliest  interview  with  Mrs.  Pratt. 


Joseph' 's  Anatomical  Museum.  73 

in  January,  1885,  which  gave  me  the  first  insight  into  the 
pernicious  working  of  a  system  invented  by  impostors  and 
carried  out  by  outlaws  all  the  way  through. 


EMMA,  THE  PROPHET'S  WIFE. 


Old  Hickory  Hale — Emma  Loves  the  "Peeper" — King 
and  Pope — Wretched  but  Proud — "All  Guesswork" — 
Emma  Wants  to  Expose  the  Humbug — A  Crushing  Doc- 
ument— "Peeper ' '  Joseph — The  White  Dog  Sacrificed — 
Joseph  a  Crocodile— That  old  White  Hat— The  Bleeding 
Ghost —  The  Prophet  of  the  Lord  Becomes  a  Methodist 
— Emma  Finds  out  What  "Spiritual"  Means. 


Yes,  don't  doubt  it  a  moment;  I  have  looked  out  for  a 
bright  point  in  Joseph's  life  and  would  have  been  very 
happy  in  finding  it.  I  am  naturally  given  to  admiration 
of  all  that  is  good  and  noble  in  human  nature.  I  have 
learnt,  besides — I  am  on  the  wrong  side  of  forty — that 
man  is  a  curious  composite  of  good  and  bad,  and  that  a 
little  good  goes  far  in  making  up  for  a  great  amount  of 
bad.  Thackeray  is  right.  Each  of  us  has  his  "skeleton 
in  the  closet."  Why  should  I  rattle  with  the  bones  in  my 
neighbor's  cellar,  lest  somebody  might  come  and  open  the 
door  of  my  own  well-guarded  closet  ? 

But  the  case  of  our  prophet  is  different.  There  is 
nothing  &// skeletons.  His-house  is  full  of  them,  and  so 
is  his  city.  Rattling  becomes  a  public  duty.  The  pro- 
prietor of  this  vast  anatomical  museum  claims  to  be  the 
founder  of  a  new  religion,  the  best  religion  of  all,  the 
restorer  of  truth  and  moral  purity  all  over  the  wide  world. 
Don't  you  think  I  am  justified  in  rattling? 

No,  I  could  not  find  a  bright  point,  an  extenuating  cir- 
cumstance, in  the  whole  life  of  the  great  impostor.  It  is 
lie  and  crime  all  through.  Just  think  of  the  multitude  of 
excellent  people,  virtuous,  devout  women  and  good  men, 


74  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

who  have  staked  their  all  in  this  life  upon  the  prophetship 
of  "  Joseph  Smith,  Junior"  !  Why,  Joe  would  have  been 
the  captain  of  a  pirate-ship  or  a  slave-dealer  as  soon  as  a 
prophet.  There  is  not  even  a  beam  of  light  in  those  days 
that  are  such  happy  ones  for  purer  minds — the  days  of 
wooing  and  early  wedlock.  He  likes  old  Hale's  daughter, 
but  the  first  thing  he  does  is  to  pervert  the  moral  sense  of 
the  honest  farmer's  darling  and  make  her  an  accomplice 
of  his  fraud.  The  proud,  intelligent  young  wife  becomes 
likewise  an  impostor;  he  crushes  her  conscience,  and  it 
appears  a  crushed  one  even  on  her  death  bed,  when  she 
declared  that  Joseph  had  never  been  in  polygamy.  She 
had  learned  from  him  to  lie  to  further  her  ends.  But  what 
he  could  not  crush  in  her  were  the  wife  and  mother.  He 
tried  hard  to  make  an  Eliza  R.  Snow  of  her,  a  harem- 
queen.  He  did  not  succeed,  He  had  to  cow  before  this 
firm  wife  and  proud  mother.  In  this  she  remained  old 
Hale's  child,  even  when  threatened  with  destruction  by 
that  climax  of  silly  impudence  and  impious  balderdash, 
the  "revelation  on  celestial  marriage."  You  might  even 
construe  that  death-bed  lie  of  hers  as  the  outcome  of  her 
pride,  her  firmness  and  her  love  for  her  family,  which  she 
wanted  to  appear  pure  and  decent  before  the  world. 
Though  tainted  with  her  husband's  fraud,  the  prophet's 
wife  shines  out  from  Mormon  History  as  a  great,  sympa- 
thetic figure. 

Emma  was  the  bright,  handsome,  black-eyed  daughter 
of  a  sturdy,  honest,  humbug-hating  Pennsylvania  farmer, 
Isaac  Hale.  His  character  may  be  fairly  judged  by  a  let- 
ter which  he  wrote  in  1834  about  his  son-in-law  and  the 
Gold  Bible;  the  reader  finds  this  remarkable  document, 
among  others,  at  the  end  of  Part  I.,  of  this  volume. 

When  Emma  fell  in  love  with  young  Joe,  he  was  a 
shiftless  vagabond,  swindling  money-digger  and  fortune- 
teller, who  got  his  living,  as  he  called  it  himself,  by  "  glass- 
looking."  This  was  not  the  kind  of  son-in-law  fancied 
by  old  Hickory  Hale.  Oh,  no  !  He  would  have  liked 
a  steady-going,  hardworking  farmer,  with  320  or  at  least 
100  acres  of  good  land,  fine  horses,  cows,  good  house, 
barn  and  stables,  a  family  Bible  and  good  fences.  Seven 


Emma  Marries  the  Peeper.  75 

years  after  Smith's  elopement  with  the  old  man's  darling, 
Emma,  the  wound  was  yet  smarting ;  you  feel  it  in  every 
line  of  that  letter  of  1834.  But  Emma  fell  in  love  with 
the  money-digger  all  the  same.  How  do  you  explain  it? 
Why,  Emma  was  a  country  girl  after  all.  Joe  must  have 
had  a  certain  mysterious  charm  for  her,  with  his  secret 
"  looking  "  powers,  his  wonderful  stone  and  that  old  white 
hat  filled  with  dark  secrets.  She  didn't  believe  in  it  alto- 
gether, but  still  there  was  something  out-of  the-way  in  it, 
it  was  more  interesting  than  that  absurd  talk  about  cows 
and  bulls,  corn  and  barley^,  oxen  and  sheep.  Father 
wouldn't  hear  of  her  taking  "  that  slouching,  shiftless  fel- 
ler from  York  State,"  so  she  ran  away  with  him.  A  near 
relative  of  hers,  a  Mr.  Hiel  Lewis,  says  about  that  elope- 
ment and  its  effect  in  old  Isaac  Hale' s  house:  " The  Hale 
family  was  greatly  exasperated,  and  perhaps  it  would  not 
have  been  safe  for  Smith  to  have  shown  himself  at  his 
father-in-law's  house.  Emma  was  or  had  been  the  idol  or 
favorite  of  the  family,  and  they  all  still  felt  a  strong 
attachment  for  her,  and  the  permission  to  return  and  re- 
conciliation was  effected  and  accomplished  by  her  and  per- 
haps her  sister,  Mrs.  Wasson,  who  lived  near  Bainbridge, 
N.  Y.  The  permission  for  Smith  to  return  all  came  from 
the  other  side,  not  from  Mr.  Isaac  Hale  or  his  family  in 
Harmony,  Pa."  * 

Later  on  in  married  life  Emma  found  out  fully,  no 
doubt,  that  Joseph  was  a  wretched  impostor.  But  what 
could  she  do,  even  if  the  blood  of  honest  old  Hale  did 
rebel  in  her  veins  against  the  continual  negation  of  all 
honor  and  truth  in  her  husband's  life  and  actions?  Was 
she  not  his  wife,  the  mother  of  his  children  ?  And  then, 
("don't  you  forget  it")  there  was  a  good  deal  of 
womanly  satisfaction  in  this  part,  too.  Joseph  was  a 
daring  brigand,  and  woman  has  always  admired  and 
loved  and  will  always  admire  and  love  a  daring  brigand. 
I  have  seen  that  in  Sicily,  where  beautiful  girls  told  me 

*I  quote  from  a  letter  of  this  old  gentleman,  most  kindly  furnished 
to  me  by  my  learned  friend,  James  T.  Cobb,  Esq.,  who  has  very  great 
merits  in  investigating  the  earliest  history  of  Mormonism.  The  letter 
is  dated  Amboy,  Lee  Co.,  111.,  Sept.  IT,  1879. 


76  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

with  flaming  eyes  of  the  heroic  deeds  of  the  " Mafiosi" 
Smith  became  the  Lord's  friend  and  mouthpiece,  a 
prophet,  soon  after  his  marriage  ;  in  time  the  founder  of 
cities  and  temples,  a  general  and  mayor,  a  leader  of  the 
people,  a  ruler  of  thousands  of  votes,  flattered  and 
cajoled  by  demagogues  of  all  parties ;  his  role  was  impor- 
tant and  to  a  certain  degree  picturesque,  imposing  and 
brilliant.  All  that  other  men  have  to  toil  for  was  showered 
upon  him,  fat  living,  landed  property,  money,  jewelry, 
good  houses,  fine  horses,  titles,  honors,  the  admiration 
and  submission  of  thousands.  Yes,  he  was  a  king,  that 
blue-eyed,  wandering  "peeper"  and  money-digger  of 
yore,  the  only  king  in  America,  forsooth  !  A  king  and  a 
pope  in  one ! 

Was  it  not  nice  to  ride  out  with  him,  the  prophet  and 
general,  in  a  fine  carriage,  or  dash  with  him  on  horseback 
over  the  prairie,  or  shine  on  a  charger  at  the  parade  of 
the  Nauvoo  Legion  ?  Was  it  not  fine  to  be  the  focus  of 
general  admiration,  to  be  the  first  lady  of  the  kingdom, 
yea,  the  queen,  to  have  everybody  greet  and  bow  to  the 
"elect  lady"  of  the  church? 

And  Emma  played  her  part  well.  Let  our  witnesses 
take  the  stand  :  "She  was  tall,  dark,  dignified  and  very 
ladylike,"  says  one  of  them  who  knew  her  intimately; 
"she  was  rather  above  the  average  for  talent  and  would 
have  passed  for  a  lady  anywhere.  Her  education  had 
not  been  a  careful  one ;  she  had  attended  very  indifferent 
schools,  but  she  had  any  amount  of  good,  sound  sense, 
and  knew  how  to  use  everything  to  the  best  advantage. 
She  loved  Joseph  very  much,  and  felt  most  wretched  over 
his  oft-recurring  trespasses  (see  revelation  of  July  12, 
1843  and  others),  but  she  was  too  proud  to  talk  about  her 
grief." 

"  Emma  was  very  proud,"  says  Mrs.  P.;  "pride  was 
one  of  her  chief  characteristics.  She  gave  me  to  under- 
stand that  she  would  like  to  know  whether  Joseph  had 
any  relations  with  other  women,  and  I  saw  how  unhappy 
she  felt  through  her  well-founded  jealousy ;  but  she 
struggled  hard  to  conceal  the  real  state  of  her  feelings, 
and  never  showed  it  to  her  children. 


John   Taylor  and  Napoleon  III.  77 

"  She  was  very  much  attached  to  her  family ;  this  was 
her  chief  thought  and  care.  She  was  capable  of  talking 
about  everything,  but  in  those  times  all  the  talk  turned 
about  Mormonism,"  says  another  cotemporary  of  the 
"elect  lady."  The  same  witness  affirms  that  Emma  was 
squint-eyed.  But  this  last  I  prefer  not  to  believe.  Such 
things  are  never  true.  "  Her  figure  was  very  stately  and 
after  Joseph's  violent  death,  when  she  had  overcome  the 
first  shock,  she  looked  rather  fresher  and  stouter  than 
before.  She  had  been  too  much  worried  by  Joseph's 
conduct  with  the  sisters."  So  says  another  informant,  an 
old  lady  yet  living  in  Salt  Lake,  to  whom  Emma  once 
said  in  1846  while  talking  about  his  revelations,  "It  was 
all  guesswork.'"  Pretty  good  for  the  wife  of  the  greatest 
prophet  that  had  ever  lived,  and  herself  aiding  and 
abetting  her  son  Joseph  in  still  riveting  the  fraud — minus 
polygamy  ! 

It  was  not  long  after  the  martyrdom  of  her  liege  lord 
that  the  elect  lady  and  Attorney  Woods  (the  last  legal 
counselor  of  the  Lord's  anointed  prophet)  laid  their 
heads  together  to  reveal  the  exact  truth  about  the  Mormon 
leaders  and  the  Mormon  humbug  in  general.  For  some 
reason  this  most  laudable  design  was  never  executed. 
Probably  because  Sister  Emrna  saw  that  she  could  not 
possibly  make  such  a  crushing  disclosure  without  seriously 
incriminating  herself.  At  any  rate,  I  am  positively 
informed  that  old  lawyer  Woods  still  holds  in  his  pos- 
session the  material  then  compiled  for  their  joint  exposure 
of  Mormonism.  The  Times  and  Seasons,  the  church 
organ,  denied  at  the  time  that  any  such  design  existed, 
but  denials  of  this  kind  have  about  the  same  value  as 
those  of  my  lamented  friend  Napoleon  III.,  that  is,  they 
prove  the  exact  contrary  of  what  they  assert. 

I  am  now  going  to  intro&ice  a  document  of  the  very 
greatest  importance,  which  will  enable  the  reader  to  see 
Joseph,  Emma  and  the  Gold  Bible  humbug  in  a  kind  of 
family  picture,  not  brilliantly  drawn,  but  full  of  the  color 
of  life.  It  is  a  letter  from  the  brothers  Hiel  and  Joseph 
Lewis,  sons  of  the  Rev.  Nathaniel  Lewis,  of  old  Harmony, 
Pennsylvania,  and  all  of  them  near  relations  of  Emma 


78  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

Hale.  It  is  dated  Amboy,  Lee  County,  111.,  April  23, 
1879.  The  original  belongs  to  Mr.  James  T.  Cobb,  the 
above-named  pathfinder  in  early  Mormon  history.  The 
document  concerns  what  the  two  gentlemen  "saw  and 
heard  of  the  sayings  and  doings  of  the  Prophet  Joseph 
Smith  while  he  was  engaged  in  peeping  for  money  and 
hidden  treasures  and  translating  his  Gold  Bible  in  our 
neighborhood,  township  of  Harmony,  Susquehannah 
County,  Pa.,  our  home  and  residence  being  within  one 
mile  of  where  he  lived  and  transacted  his  business." 
The  most  prominent  citizens  of  the  little  town  of  Amboy, 
the  mayor,  aldermen,  attorneys,  editors,  merchants, 
bankers,  justices  of  the  peace,  etc.,  testify  that  the  wit- 
nesses are  "truthful,  honorable,  Christian  gentlemen," 
and  that  "their  statements  are  entitled  to  the  fullest 
credence."  Here  is  the  document : 

"  Some  time  previous  to  1825,*  a  man  by  the  name  of  Wm.  Hale, 
a  distant  relative  of  uncle  Isaac  Hale,  came  to  Isaac  Hale  and  said 
that  he  had  been  informed  by  a  woman  by  the  name  of  Odle,  who 
claimed  to  possess  the  power  of  seeing  under  ground  (such  persons 
were  then  commonly  called  peepers],  that  there  were  great  treasures 
concealed  in  the  hill  northeast  from  Isaac  Hale's  house,  and  by  her 
directions  Wm.  Hale  commenced  digging.  But,  being  too  lazy  to 
work  and  too  poor  to  hire,  he  obtained  a  partner  by  the  name  of  Oliver 
Harper,  of  York  State,  who  had  the  means  to  hire  help.  But  after  a 
short  time  operations  were  suspended,  for  a  time,  during  which  Wm. 
Hale  heard  of  PEEPER  Joseph  Smith,  jr.,  and  wrote  to  him  and  soon 
visited  him,  and  found  Smith's  representations  were  so  flattering  that 
Smith  was  either  hired  or  became  a  partner  with  Wm.  Hale,  Oliver 
Harper  and  a  man  by  the  name  of  Stowell,f  who  had  some  property. 

*  This  would  be,  according  to  Mormon  annals,  after  the  time 
when  "  the  Father  and  the  Son  "  appeared  to  the  prophet  Joseph  and 
held  a  conference  with  him. 

f  Lucy  Smith,  the  mother  of  the  prophet,  and  Munchhausen  of 
the  family,  lets  a  good-sized  cat  out  of  her  big  bag  in  her  biography 
of  Joe.  She  confesses  in  it,  umtffttingly,  to  all  the  money-digging 
part  of  the  prophet,  and  this  was  one  of  the  reasons  that  made  Brig- 
ham  put  her  gossipy  little  book  on  the  Mormon  Index  librorum  pro- 
hibitorum.  Munchhausen-Lucy  says  (pp.  91-92):  "A  man  by  the 
name  of  Josiah  Stoal  came  from  Chenango  County,  N.  Y.,  with  the 
view  of  getting  Joseph  to  assist  in  digging  for  a  silver  mine.  He 
came  for  Joseph  on  account  of  having  heard  that  he  possessed  certain 
keys  by  which  he  could  discern  things  invisible  to  the  natural  eye. 


The  Lord  and  the   White  Dog.  79 

They  hired  men  and  dug  in  several  places.  The  account  given  in  the 
history  of  Susquehanna  County,  p.  580,  of  a  pure  white  dog  to  be 
iised  as  a  sacrifice  to  restrain  the  enchantment ',  and  of  the  anger  of  the 
Almighty  at  the  attempt  to  palm  off  on  Him  a  white  sheep  for  a  white 
dog,  is  a  fair  sample  of  Smith's  revelations,  and  of  the  God  that 
inspired  him.  Their  digging  in  several  places  was  in  compliance 
with 'Peeper'  Smith's  revelations,  who  would  attend  with  his  peep- 
stone  in  his  hat,  and  his  hat  drawn  over  his  face,  and  tell  them  how 
deep  they  would  have  to  go ;  and  when  they  found  no  trace  of  the 
chest  of  money,  he  would  peep  again  and  weep  like  a  child,  and  tell 
them  that  the  enchantment  had  removed  it  on  account  of  some  sin,  or 
thoughtless  word,  and  finally  the  enchantment  became  so  strong  that 
he  could  not  see,  and  the  business  was  finally  abandoned.  Smith 
could  weep  and  shed  tears  at  any  time  if  he  chose  to.*  > 

"  But  while  he  was  engaged  in  looking  through  his  peep-stone 
and  old  white  hat,  directing  the  digging  for  money,  and  boarding  at 
uncle  Isaac  Hale's,  he  formed  an  intimacy  with  Mr.  Male's  daughter, 
and  after  the  abandonment  of  the  money-digging  speculation,  he  con- 
summated the  elopement  and  marriage  to  the  said  Emma  Hale,  and 
she  became  his  accomplice  in  his  humbug  Golden  Bible  and  Mormon 
religion. 

"  The  statement  that  the  prophet  Joseph  Smith  made  in  our  hear- 
ing at  the  commencement  of  his  translating  his  book  in  Harmony,  as 
to  the  manner  of  his  finding  the  plates,  was  as  follows  :  He  said  that 
by  a  DREAM  he  was  informed  that  at  such  a  place  in  a  certain  hill,  in 
an  iron  box,  were  some  gold  plates  with  curious  engravings,  which  he 
must  get  and  translate,  and  write  a  book ;  that  the  plates  were  to  be 
kept  concealed  from  every  human  being  for  a  certain  time,  some  two 
or  three  years;  that  he  went  to  the  place  and  dug  till  he  came  to  the 
stone  that  covered  the  box,  when  he  was  knocked  down ;  that  he 
again  attempted  to  remove  the  stone,  and  was  again  knocked  down. 
This  attempt  was  made  the  third  time,  and  the  third  time  he  was 
knocked  down.  Then  he  exclaimed:  *  Why  can't  I  git  it?  '  or  words 
to  that  effec^  and  then  he  saw  a  man  standing  over  the  spot,  who,  to 

Joseph  endeavored  to  divert  him  from  his  vain  pursuit,  but  he  was 
inflexible  in  his  purpose,  and  offered  high  wages  to  those  who  would 
dig  for  him  in  search  of  said  mine,  and  still  insisted  upon  having 
Joseph  to  work  for  him.  Accordingly,  Joseph  and  several  others 
returned  with  him  and  commenced  digging.  After  laboring  for  the 
old  gentleman  about  a  month,  without  success,  Joseph  prevailed  upon 
him  to  cease  his  operations,  and  it  was  from  this  circumstance  of 
having  worked  by  the  month  at  digging  for  a  silver  mine,  that  the 
'very  prevalent  story  arose  of  Joseph  having  been  a  money-digger.'-' 
[The  italics  are  mine.] 

*  Let  any  half-witted  person  compare  this  testimony  with  those  of 
Ingersoll,  Chase  and  others,  in  our  Appendix  of  Part  I.,  and  deny 
that  Joseph  was  the  champion  humbug  of  our  time  ! 


8o  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

him,  appeared  like  a  Spaniard  [Oh,  you  great  son  of  Lucy  !],  having 
a  long  beard  down  over  his  breast  to  about  here  (Smith  putting  his 
hand  to  the  pit  of  his  stomach],  WITH  His  (the  ghost's)  THROAT  CUT 
FROM  EAR  TO  EAR,  AND  THE  BLOOD  STREAMING  DOWN,'who  told 

him  that  he  could  not  get  it  alone ;  that  another  person  whom  he 
(Smith)  would  know  at  first  sight  must  come  with  him,  and  then  he 
would  get  it ;  and  when  he  saw  Miss  Emma  Hale  he  knew  that  she 
was  the  person,  and  that  after  they  were  married  she  went  with  him  to 
near  the  place  and  stood  with  her  back  towards  him  while  he  dug 
after  the  box,  which  he  rolled  up  in  his  frock,  and  she  helped  carry 
it  home  ;  that  in  the  same  box  with  the  plates  were  spectacles ;  *  the 
bows  were  of  gold  and  the  eyes  were  stone,  and  by  looking  through 
these  spectacles  all  the  characters  on  the  plates  were  translated  into 
English. 

"In  all  this  narrative  there  was  not  one  word  about  visions  of  God 
or  of  angels  or  heavenly  revelations  ;  all  his  information  was  by  that 
DREAM  and  that  BLEEDING  GHOST.  The  heavenly  visions  and  mes- 
sages of  angels,  etc.,  contained  in  Mormon  books,  were  afterthoughts, 
revised  to  order.  While  wSmith  was  in  Harmony  he  made  the  above 
statements,  in  our  presence,  to  Rev.  N.  Lewis.  It  was  here,  also,  that 
he  joined  the  Methodist  Episcopal  Church.  He  presented  himself  in 
a  very  serious  and  humble  manner,  and  the  minister,  not  suspecting 
evil,  put  his  name  on  the  class-book  in  the  absence  of  some  of  the 
official  members,  among  whom  was  the  undersigned,  Joseph  Lewis, 
who,  when  he  learned  what  was  done,  took  with  him  Joshua  McKune 
and  had  a  talk  with  Smith.  We  told  him  plainly  that  such  a  character 
as  he  was  a  disgrace  to  the  church  ;  that  he  could  not  be  a  member  of 
it  unless  he  broke  off  his  sins  by  repentance,  made  public  confession, 
renounced  his  fraudulent  and  hypocritical  practices,  and  gave  some 
evidence  that  he  intended  to  reform  and  conduct  himself  somewhat 
nearer  like  a  Christian  than  he  had  done.  We  gave  him  his  choice, 
to  go  before  the  class  and  publicly  ask  to  have  his  name  stricken  from 
the  class-book,  or  stand  a  disciplinary  investigation ;  he  chose  the 
former,  and  immediately  withdrew  his  name.  So  his  name  as  a 
member  of  the  class  was  on  the  book  only  three  days.  It  was  the 
general  opinion  that  his  only  object  in  joining  the  church  was  to 
bolster  up  his  reputation  and  gain  the  sympathy  and  help  of  Christians ; 
that  is,  putting  on  the  cloak  of  religion  to  serve  the  Devil  in." 

When  interrogated  as  to  the  time  of  Joe's  joining  the 
Methodist  Church,  Mr.  Kiel  Lewis  wrote  back  that  it  was 
in  June,  1828. 

*The  celebrated  "  Urim  and  Thummim "  of  Mormon  history. 
One  can  "catch  on"  nicely  here:  Spaniards  having  buried  treasures, 
whether  of  gold  or  golden  plates,  the  ghost  of  a  Spaniard  would 
naturally  have  to  stand  guard  over  them,  whatever  the  state  of  his 
windpipe. 


A  Look  Into  the  Peeper' 's  Household.  81 

This  disclosure  will  prove  vastly  edifying  to  the  world  in 
general,  and  to  Mormons  in  particular.  Joseph,  with  the 
sacred  plates  in  his  possession  and  while  he  is  "  translat- 
ing" them,  BECOMES  A  METHODIST  ! !  And  this,  too,  after 
the  Lord's  (both  the  Father  and  the  Son)  telling  him  that 
all  existing  religions  are  false  and  corrupt  and  on  no 
account  to  join  any  of  them,  he  being  the  favored  instru- 
ment elected  by  Them  v&  founding  the  true  one  !  !  I  think 
tke  great  jury,  called  public  opinion,  Mormons  included, 
might  give  their  verdict  in  the  impostor's  case  without 
leaving  their  seats. 

Our  letter  goes  on  : 

"  We  will  add  one  more  sample  of  his  prophetic  power  and  practice. 
One  of  the  neighbors,  whom  Smith  was  owing,  had  a  piece  of  corn  on 
a  rather  wet  and  backward  piece  of  ground,  and  as  Smith  was  owing 
him,  he  wanted  Smith  to  help  hoe  corn.  Smith  came  on,  but  to  get 
clear  of  the  work  and  debt,  said  :  '  If  I  kneel  down  and /ray  in  your 
corn,  it  will  grow  just  as  well  as  if  hoed.'  So  he  prayed  in  the  corn 
and  insured  its  maturity  without  cultivation,  and  that  the  frost  would 
not  hurt  it.  But  the  corn  was  a  failure  in  growth  and  killed  by  the 
frost.  This  sample  of  prophetic  power  was  related  to  us  by  those  pres- 
ent, and  no  one  questioned  its  truth. "* 

The  "revelation  on  celestial  marriage"  is  a  much  more 
candid  document  than  could  be  supposed.  It  permits  us 
to  li  peep  "  into  the  peeper's  household.  We  see  how  he 
tries  to  overcome  the  desperate  resistance  of  the  strong- 
wife  against — let  me  use  the  exactly  significant  term — 
religious  whoredom.  What  scenes  must  there  have  been 
enacted  in  that  prophetic  household  !  He  begs  and  flat- 
ters, thunders  and  threatens — all  in  vain.  Finally,  he 

*This  startling  document,  which  I  have  copied  from  the  original 
most  carefully,  is  attested  in  the  following  manner: 

STATE  OF  ILLINOIS,  > 
Lee  County.          f  SS 

I,  Everett  E.  Chase,  a  Justice  of  the  Peace  in  and  for  the  County 
of  Lee,  State  aforesaid, do  hereby  certify  that  the  above  named  Joseph 
Lewis  and  Hiel  Lewis,  personally  known  to  me  to  be  respectable, 
truthful  and  honorable  men,  came  before  me  and  in  my  presence  signed 
the  above  statement,  and  each  of  them  before  me  made  affidavit  to 
each  and  all  of  the  allegations  therein  set  forth  according-  to  their  best 
memory.  KYKKKTT  K.  CHASE, 

j.  p. 


82  Mormon  Portraits, — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

changes  tactics.  He  tells  Emma,  it  is  "all  spiritual,  my 
dear."  "Let  us  show  the  people  " — he  may  have  said — 
"that  you  do  look  at  celestial  marriage  in  the  right  light, 
by  being  present  at  such  a  ceremony.  It  means  marriage  for 
the  other  world,  and  it  is  necessary  that  you  should  dis- 
pel, through  a  fearless  act  of  yours,  the  ugly  rumors  spread 
everywhere.  I  may  have  sinned  now  and  then,  dearest, 
but  from  now  on — you  will  see — everything  will  be  strictly 
spiritual." 

Emma,  perplexed  and  exhausted,  consents.  The  Par- 
tridge girls  are  to  be  sealed  to  her  husband  in  her  presence. 
"It  is  only  a  formality,  deary,  and  will  strengthen  my 
position  very  much,"  says  the  prophet.  It  was  in  May  or 
June,  1843,  before  the  revelation  was  dictated  to  the 
"pard."  An  elder  was  selected,  whose  talents  and  pro- 
fession promised  something  extraordinary  in  the  way  of 
impressive  solemnity.  His  name^  was  George  J.  Adams, 
and  he  was  a  strolling  player  and  great  libertine  besides. 
He  performed  the  sealing  ceremony  and  all  went  well  for — 
two  or  three  hours.  Emma  found  out  what  the  word  "  spi- 
ritual "  really  meant  with  that  chaste  husband  of  hers.  She 
demanded  imperiously  the  immediate  annulment  of  the 
ceremony.  Joseph  hesitated,  but  the  blood  of  old  Isaac 
Hale  was  up  in  the  veins  of  the  prophet's  wife.  She 
threatened  to  arouse  the  city  with  a  terrible  display  of 
matrimonial  fireworks.  The  Prophet  had  to  give  in. 
Emma  went  on  suffering  what  she  could  not  prevent,  but 
her  official  honor  as  a  wife  was  safe.  She  remained  the 
queen  of  her  household  instead  of  stooping  to  the  role  of 
concubine.  She  did  not  go  to  Washington  to  use  her 
shame  as  an  argument  in  debate.  She  did  not  write  pam- 
phlets about  it,  either. 


An  Escape  by  Revelation.  83 

THE  REVELATION  ON  POLYGAMY. 


For  What  Purpose  it  was  ' '  Received  " — Emma  Burns  It — 
They  "  Had  been  Given"  to  Joseph— The  Author  Visits 
the  Utah  Penitentiary  for  Enlightenment — The  Caged 
Apostle —  Three  P Hates — He  '  'Made  a  Business  of  it ' ' — 
The  Scene  on  the  Log — Sketch  of  the  History  of  Mormon 
Polygamy— Lots  of  Pure,  Holy  Lies — Special  Instructions 
—  The  Clerk's  Affidavit— The  Celebrated  Revelation  in 
Extenso. 


The  celebrated  revelation  on  celestial  marriage,  dated 
July  12,  1843,  was  "received"  like  all  other  "revelations" 
for  the  selfish  purposes  of  the  prophet.  He  had,  as  we 
have  seen,  revelations  that  the  Saints  had  to  feed  and  clothe 
him  and  build  him  a  big  hotel  in  Nauvoo,  for  him  and 
his  offspring  for  all  time.  Now  the  revelation  on  polyg- 
amy was,  as  it  confesses  stupidly  itself,  nothing  but  an 
' l  escape  "  out  of  a  terrible  difficulty.  Emma,  the  proud 
mother  and  wife,  was  worried  beyond  measure  by  Joseph's 
conduct  with  the  "  sisters,"  and  the  prophet  needed  a  re- 
ligious mantle  to  cover  his  sins  and  quiet  Emma.  The 
revelation  says : 

"  Behold,  I  have  seen  your  sacrifices  and  will  forgive  all  your 
sins  ....  Go,  therefore,  and  I  make  a  way  for  your  escape  .  .  .  ." 

But  "  the  Lord  "  was  not  very  successful  in  making  the 
"escape"  for  "  Mine  Anointed."  Emma  declared  the 
revelation  to  be  the  work  of  the  devil,  and  burned  the 
original  which  had  been  shown  to  her.  Happily  for  the 
salvation  of  this  sinful  world,  two  copies  had  been  pre- 
served. The  Lord  said  to  Emma  in  his  polite  way, 
always  used  by  him  while  speaking  to  ladies  : 

"  Let  mine  handmaid  Emma  Smith  receive  all  those  that  have 
been  given  to  my  servant  Joseph,  and  who  are  virtuous  and  pure  be- 
fore me  .  .  .  ." 


84  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Now  that  is  clear  enough,  especially  when  the  afore- 
said Lord  says  to  the  same  handmaid  : 

"And  again,  verily  I  say,  let  mine  handmaid  forgive  my  servant 
Joseph  his  trespasses  .  .  .  ." 

But  it  's  useless  even  for  the  Mormon  Lord  to  talk 
reason  to  an  insulted  wife  and  mother.  Emma  persisted 
in  her  opposition  to  the  blessings  of  Abraham  and  Jacob 
and  finally,  after  having  left  the  church,  declared  that 
Joseph  had  never  lived  in  Polygamy.  She  wanted  to 
purge  the  memory  of  her  martyred  husband,  whose  wrongs 
she  had  forgiven  the  dead  while  she  had  been  unable  to 
forgive  them  the  living  sinner ;  and  she  wanted  to  pro- 
tect the  good  name  of  her  sons.  Can  you  blame  her  for 
it?  I  can't. 

But  to  the  revelation.  It  is  clear  that  Joseph  con- 
fesses in  it  that  a  certain  number  of  "  virgins  "  had  been 
given  to  him  before  July  12,  1843,  the  date  of  the  revela- 
tion. I  now  want  to  introduce  a  witness,  whose  testi- 
mony will  not  be  impeached.  You  may  doubt  an  apostle 
of  the  church  while  behind  a  bottle  of  good  wine  or  while 
on  the  stand  in  the  tabernacle,  but  you  cannot  doubt  him 
while  he  is  in  the  hands  of  his  enemies,  in  vile  prison,  the 
victim  of  the  most  shameful  religious  persecution  ever  en- 
acted. Oh,  Zane  and  Dickson,  remember  Pilate  and  his 
present  state  of  terrible  roasting  ! 

It  was  on  the  most  beautiful  first  of  May  I  ever  saw  in 
my  life,  that  I  went  to  the  Salt  Lake  Penitentiary.  We 
had  a  fine  horse  and  buggy,  I  and  my  excellent  friend, 
Henry  Weinheimer,  of  Highland,  111.  Marshal  Ireland  — 
there  is  another  Pilate  for  you — had  given  me  a  special 
permit,  empowering  me  to  talk  with  some  of  the  prisoners, 
and  I  hereby  beg  to  thank  Mr.  Ireland  for  his  kindness, 
declaring  that  I  rarely  met  a  more  frank  and  genial  man 
than  this  fanatic  enemy  of  the  kingdom.  We  saw  that 
"penitentiary"  which,  in  fact,  is  nothing  but  a  disgust- 
ing corral.  It  is  well  known  that  Brigham  Young  put  the 
appropriation  granted  by  the  Government  into  his 
pockets,  and  got  his  slaves  to  build  this  monument  of 
shame  and  adobe  bricks.  The  Warden  called  out  the 


Father  Lorenzo,  the  Mormon  Jesuit.  85 

apostle,  Lorenzo  Snow, -at  our  request.       He  came — 

An  interesting  old  man,  the  apostle,  of  about  seventy 
years;  narrow,  rather  distinguished  head,  lively  gray 
eyes,  but  face  much  wrinkled  and  of  a  yellowish  color ; 
manners  very  agreeable,  talk  fluent  and  intelligent,  ex- 
pression that  of  a  clever  Jesuit.  He  had  been  a  good 
saint  since  his  youth.  He  had  not  intended  to  marry, 
but  to  devote  himself  entirely  to  missionary  work ;  but 
the  prophet  explained  the  new  law  to  him,  and,  being 
convinced  that  Joseph  was  a  prophet,  he  went  at  it  like  a 
man,  and.  using  his  own  expression,  "made  a  business  of 
it"  though  he  contented  himself  with  only  nine  wives; 
two  of  them  he  took  in  one  day,  and  four  or  five  in  three 
or  four  months. 

We  had  a  very  pleasant  chat.  The  apostle  has  been 
in  Switzerland,  England  and  Italy,  even  in  Jerusalem.  I 
asked  him  how  it  was  with  that  revelation  —  when  was  it 
that  it  was  made  known  to  the  saints  ?  The  apostle  said  : 
"I  had  been  away  on  a  mission  ;  I  returned  to  Nauvoo  in 
April,  1843.  A  friend  of  mine,  called  Sherwood,  told  me 
very  soon  after  my  arrival  that  Joseph  had  married  my 
sister,  Eliza  R.  Snow,  for  time  and  eternity,  some  three 
months  before  [at  least  six  months  before  July  12,  1843]. 
Joseph  sent  for  me:  he  wanted  a  private  interview  with 
me.  I  went  to  him.  I  did  not  tell  him  that  I  knew  of 
his  marriage  with  my  sister;  I  waited  till  he  would  tell 
me.  He  went  with  me  to  the  shore  of  the  Mississippi, 
about  fifty  rods  from  his  house.  There  we  sat  down  on  a 
log,  and  there  he  explained  to  me  the  law  on  celestial 
marriage,  and  told  me  that  he  had  married  my  sister  for 
time  and  eternity  about  three  months  ago.  I  was  not  at 
all  surprised  ;  I  knew  that  this  thing  was  coming." 

"Why  did  Emma  Smith  burn  the  revelation,  Mr. 
Snow?" 

i 'Allow  me  to  answer  your  question  with  another 
question.  Why  did  Lucifer  rebel  against  God?  Emma 
apostatized  ;  she  lefi  the  path  of  truth  and  light,  and  went 
to  darkness  and  perdition  !  " 

I  tried  to  look  suitably  disgusted  with  so  much 
wickedness  on  the  part  of  a  wife ;  and  we  chatted  of  many 


86  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

other  things.  Apostle  Snow  hopes  that  the  saints  will 
soon  be  "on  top  again,"  and  expressed  a  mysterious 
expectation  that  "  a  change  of  government  would  soon 
enable  the  saints  to  practice  their  religion." 

Now,  who  is  right,  the  imprisoned  apostle  who  talks 
so  kindly  to  a  "  gentile  dog  "  like  me,  or  the  Josephites, 
who  go  on  stating  that  Joseph  never  was  in  polygamy? 
Snow  tells  you  the  thing  was  coming  —  he  knew  that  such 
a  revelation  was  on  the  way,  and,  by  Jove,  a  blind  man 
must  have  seen  it ! 

This  chapter  would  be  incomplete  without  a  bit  of 
elaborate  historical  analysis.  If  Mormon  history  in 
general,  as  represented  by  Mormon  sermons,  books  and 
newspapers,  has  been  one  continual  chain  of  misrepresenta- 
tion, from  1830  to  this  day,  the  history  of  polygamy,  has 
been  a  solid  little  group  of  lies  apart,  like  a  cluster  of 
islands  in  an  ocean  of  falsehood. 

Up  to  1852  there  was  no  official  "  celestial  marriage." 
It  had  been  denied  and  denied  till  further  denial  became 
impossible.  Remember  that  the  ^revelation"  was  given 
on  July  12,  1843,  and  that  Joseph  and  Hyrum  and  many 
of  their  intimate  friends  had  taken  degrees  in  the  new 
celestial  order.  The  highly  dramatic  affidavit  of  Martha 
Brotherton  (see  Appendix  to  Part  I.)  alone  proves  this, 
and  our  very  unctuous  friend,  Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow, 
confirmed  it  in  his  cage.  Some  of  the  elders  felt  an 
urgent  necessity  to  unfold  the  glorious  new  gospel  to  the 
world;  but  that  wouldn't  do.  The  Lord  wanted  his 
special  friends  to  enjoy  the  thrice-bolted  blessings  of 
Abraham,  but  not  the  abominably  rude  fare  of  an  Illinois 
State  Prison.  In  February,  1844,  seven  months  after  the 
revelation,  the  official  church  organ,  Times  and  Seasons, 
contained  the  following  : 

NOTICE. 

As  we  have  been  credibly  informed  that  an  elder  of  the  Church  of 
Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day  Saints,  by  the  name  of  Hyrum  Brown,  has 
been  preaching  polygamy  and  other  false  and  corrupt  doctrines  in  the 
County  of  Lapeer  and  State  of  Michigan,  this  is  to  notify  him  and 
the  church  in  general,  that  he  has  been  cut  off  from  the  church  for  his 


Lying  as  a  Fine  Art.  87 

iniquity,  and  he  is  further  notified  to  appear  at  the  special  conference, 
on  the  6th  of  April  next,  to  make  answer  to  those  charges. 

JOSEPH  SMITH, 
HYRUM  SMITH, 
Presidents  of  the  Church. 

This  was  seven  months  after  the  revelation.  Now  hear 
what  the  present  Mormon  church  organ  has  to  say  about 
this  official  lie  : 

Until  the  open  enunciation  of  the  doctrine  of  celestial  marriage  by 
the  publication  of  the  revelation  on  the  subject  in  1852,  no  elder  was 
authorized  to  announce  it  to  the  world.  The  Almighty  has  revealed 
things  on  many  occations  which  were  for  His  servants  and  not  for  the 
world.  Jesus  enjoined  His  disciples  on  several  occasions  to  keep  to 
themselves  principles  that  he  made  known  to  them.  And  his  injunction, 
"  Cast  not  your  pear Is  before  swine,  lest  they  trample  them  under  their 
feet  and  turn  again  and  rend  you,"  has  become  as  Jamiliar  as  a  com- 
mon proverb.  In  the  rise  of  the  church  the  Lord  had  occasion  to 
.admonish  His  servants  in  regard  to  revelations  that  were  afterwards 
permitted  to  be  published : 

"  I  say  unto  you,  hold  your  peace  until  I  shall  see  fit  to  make  all 
things  known  unto  the  world  concerning  this  matter." 

"  And  now  I  say  unto  you,  keep  these  things  from  going  abroad 
into  the  world  until  it  is  expedient  in  me." 

"But  a  commandment  I  give  unto  them  that  they  shall   not  boast 
themselves  of  these  things,  neither  speak  of  them  before  the  world,  for 
these  things  are  given  unto  you  for  your  profit  and  your  salvation. "- 
(Doc.  &  Cov.) 

Under  these  instructions  elders  had  no  right  to  promulgate  anything 
but  that  which  they  were  authorized  to  teach.  And  when  assailed  by 
enemies  and  accused  of  practicing  things  which  were  really  not  coun- 
tenanced in  the  church,  they  were  justified  in  denying  those  imputa- 
tions and  at  the  same  time  avoiding  the  avowal  of  such  doctrines  as 
were  not  yet  intended  for  the  world.  This  course  which  they  have 
taken  when  necessary,  by  commandment,  is  all  the  ground  which  their 
accusers  have  for  charging  them  them  with  falsehood. — (Deseret  News, 
May  20,  1886.) 

But  there  had  been  other  official  denials  of  polygamy 
earlier  than  this.  Our  wide-awake  friend,  Bennett,  had 
published  his  book  in  the  fall  of  1842  and  given  away  as 
much  as  he  could  without  hurting  his  own  "  dignity." 
The  "great  stink" — to  talk  with  Brother  Brigham— 
caused  by  Bennett's  book  was  to  be  counteracted  by  the 
perfume  of  innocence  exhaled  from  this  declaration  in  the 
Nauvoo  Times  and  Seasons  (October  i,  1842)  : 


88  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

We,  the  undersigned,  members  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of 
Latter-day  Saints  and  residents  of  the  City  of  Nauvoo,  persons  of 
family,  do  hereby  certify  and  declare  that  we  do  know  of  no  other  rule 
or  system  of  marriage  than  the  one  published  from  the  Book  of  Doc- 
trine and  Covenants,  and  we  give  this  certificate  to  show  that  Dr.  J.  C. 
Bennett's  "secret  wife  system"  is  a  creature  of  his  own  make,  as  we 
know  of  no  such  society  in  this  place  nor  ever  did. 

S.  BENNETT,  X.  K.  WHITNEY, 

GEO.  MILLER,  ALBERT  PETTY, 

ALPHEUS  CUTLER,  ELIAS  HIGKKE, 

REYNOLDS  CAHOON,  JOHN  TAYLOR, 

W.  WOODRUFF,  E.  ROBINSON. 

AARON.  JOHNSON. 


We,  the  undersigned,  members  of  the  Ladies'  Relief  Society  and 
married  females,  do  certify  and  declare  that  we  know  of  no  other  sys- 
tem of  marriage  being  practiced  in  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Lat- 
ter-day Saints  save  the  one  contained  in  the  Book  oi  Doctrine  and 
Covenants,  and  we  give  this  certificate  to  show  that  J.  C.  Bennett's 
"  secret  wife  system"  is  a  disclosure  of  his  own  make. 

EMMA  SMITH, 

President. 
ELIZABETH  ANN  WHITNEY, 

Counselor. 
SARAH  M.  CLEVELAND, 

Counselor. 
ELIZA  R.  SNOW, 

Secretary. 

MARY  C.  MILLER,  CATHERINA  PETTY, 

Lois  CUTLER,  SARAH  HIGHEE, 

THIRZA  CAHOON,  PHEBE  WOODRUEF, 

ANN  HUNTER,  LEONORA  TAYLOR, 

JANE  LA\Y,  SARAH  HILLMAN, 

SOPHIA  R.  MARKS,  ROSANNAH  MARKS, 

POLLY  Z.  JOHNSON,  ANGELINE  ROBINSON. 

ABIGAIL  WORKS. 


Very  well,  now  let  us  see  what  the  New  Testament  of 
the  Mormon  Bible,  the  "Book  of  Doctrine  and  Covenants, " 
says  about  marriage.  Let  me  illustrate  this  holy  command 
by  a  practical  example  of  the  way  in  which  Brigham 
Young  and  his  long-time  bosom  friend,  Danite  John  D. 
Lee,  "  lived  their  religion:" 


Lee  and  His   Thirteen  Pearls.  89 

BOOK  OF  DOCTRINE  AND         CONFESSION  OF  JOHN  D. 
COVENANTS.  LEE. 

"  You  mutually  agree  to  be  each  "In     1847,   while     at   Council 

other's    companion,  husband   and  Bluffs,  Brigham  Young  sealed  me 

wife,  observing  the  legal  rights  be-  to  three  women  in  one  night,  viz.  : 

longing  to  this  condition;  that  is,  my   eleventh,  Nancy   Armstrong; 

keeping  yourselves  wholly  for  each  she  was  what  we  called  a  widow, 

other  and  from  all  others  during  She  left  her  first  husband  in  Ten- 

yotir  lives  .    .    .And  inasmuch  as  nessee  in  order  to  be  with  the  Mor- 

this  Church  of  Christ  has  been  re-  mon  people  ;  my  twelfth,  Polly  W. 

proached  with  the  crime  of  forni-  Young ;     my    thirteenth,     Louisa 

cation  and  polygamy;  we  declare  Young;    these    were    two    sisters 

that  we  believe  that  one  man  should  .    .    .  Brigham   said  that  Isaac  C. 

have  one  wife  and  one  woman  but  Haight  and  I  needed  some  young 

one    husband,   except  in   case    of  women  to  renew  our  vitality,  so  he 

death,  when  either  is  at  liberty  to  gave   us  both   a    'dashing    young 

marry  again."  bride  '  "  [one  year  after  the  Moun- 
tain Meadows  Massacre.] 

You  see,  gentle  reader,  the  kind  of  pearls  that  were 
too  precious  to  cast  before  the  Gentile  swine.  Three 
women  in  one  night,  and  two  of  them  sisters.  Fine 
pearls.  They  remind  me  forcibly  of  the  spirited  word 
said  by  a  young  Mormon  lady  :  ' '  Polygamy  is  all  right 
when  properly  carried  out — on  a  shovel."  The  young 
lady  was  a  daughter  of  "  Jeddy  "  Grant. 

But  let  us  return  to  our  ladies.  "Ladies'  relief  so- 
ciety " — that  sounds  respectable,  surely.  They  were  all 
true  ladies,  in  the  American  sense  of  the  word,  these 
female  believers  and  relievers  :  you  would  suppose  it, 
since  they  call  themselves  ladies.  But  how  is  it  that 
Sister  Eliza  R.  Snow  calls  herself  a  "  married  woman  "  on 
October  T,  1843?  Apostle  Lorenzo  Snow,  her  brother, 
my  crucified  friend,  tells  me  that  she  had  been  married — 
for  time  and  eternity,  of  course — in  the  beginning  of 
1843.  And  how  can  I  believe  this  apostle  capable  of 
lying  when  speaking  from"  his  cross  at  the  penitentiary  ? 
We  must  suppose  that  there  was  real  marriage  between 
sweet  Eliza  and  Joseph  before  1843 — without  any  more 
impressive  ceremony  than  that  little  extempore  blessing  by 
Emma's  broomstick.  But  how  about  the  other  "  ladies?  " 
Hear  Mrs.  Sarah  M.  Pratt : 


90  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

"  Emma  Smith,  whom  Joseph  made  lead  a  life  of 
misery  through  his  infidelities,  had  founded  the  relief 
society  for  the  purpose  of  spying  her  husband.  At  least 
Joseph  often  said  so.  Elizabeth  Ann  Whitney,  the 
second  'lady,1  had  been  seduced  by  Joseph;  he  seduced 
her  daughter,  too.  Sarah  M.  Cleveland,  the  third  l  lady,' 
was  the  same  who,  as  I  have  told  you,  kept  a  kind  of 
assignation  house  for  the  prophet  and  Eliza  R.  Snow — 
you  know  her."  As  to  the  rest  of  the  ladies,  fifteen  in 
number,  Mrs.  Pratt  states  chat  the  prophet  had  seduced 
most  of  them  before  the  date  of  the  declaration,  October 
i,  i842.  "He  had  a  terrible  influence  over  women," 
says  Mrs.  Pratt.  "Many  pure  and  good  women,  who 
never  would  have  fallen,  became  his  victims  through  his 
prophetic  pretensions,  and  I  myself  [with  a  slight  shudder 
at  the  remembrance]  was  perhaps  only  saved  from  his 
clutches  through  my  devoted  love  for  my  husband  who  at 
that  time  was  my  all,  and  I  his." 

But  leaving  aside  the  private  character  of  our  ladies, 
what  does  the  passage  referred  to  by  them  in  the  "  Doc- 
trine and  Covenants"  mean  but  the  strictest  injunction 
of  monogamy?  "  Keep  yourselves  wholly  for  each  other 
and  from  all  others  during  your  lives."  Is  this  not  most 
pointed  and  exact  ?  And  the  scathing  denunciation  of 
all  such  as  shall  teach  that  it  is  right  for  any  man  to  have 
more  than  one  wife  living  at  the  same  time, — comparing 
such  a  preacher  to  Cain,  the  first  murderer,* — what,  I 
repeat  it,  does  it  all  mean  ?  Is  not  the  very  citing  of  such 
an  article  of  marital  faith  and  practice, — 4;  Keeping  your- 
self wholly  for  each  other  and  from  all  other  during  your 
lives," — to  brand  with  infamy  ANY  other  rule  or  system  of 
marriage  ? 

*  Times  and  Seasons,  p.  715  (November,  1844):  The  law  of  the 
land  and  the  rules  of  the  church  do  not  allow  one  man  to  have  MORE 
THAN  ONE  WIFE  ALIVE  AT  ONCE,  but  if  any  man's  wife  die  he  has  a 
right  to  marry  another  and  to  be  sealed  to  both  for  eternity,  to  the  liv- 
ing and  the  dead.  This  is  ALL  THE  SPIRITUAL  WIFE  SYSTEM  THAT 
EVER  WAS  TOLERATED  IN  THE  CHURCH.  And  Times  and  Seasons, 
p.  888  (May  i,  1845) :  F°r  once  ^et  us  saX  tliat  CAIN  who  went  to 
Nod  and  taught  the  DOCTRINE  OF  A  PLURALITY  OF  WIVES  and  the 
giants  who  practised  the  same  INIQUITY. 


The  Broomstick  Poetess  and  the  Ladies.  91 

But  no,  the  "  ladies  "  did  not  lie.  Hear  the  church 
organ  of  May  20,  1886  : 

"  So  with  that  spiritual  wife  doctrine  which  lustful  men  attempted 
to  promulgate  at  that  period.  Joseph  the  prophet  was  just  as  much 
opposed  to  that  false  doctrine  as  any  one  could  be.  It  was  a  counter- 
feit. The  true  and  divine  order  is  another  thing.  The  errors  which 
those  ladies  who  signed  the  affidavits  declared  were  not  known  to 
them  as  doctrines  of  the  church,  were  not,  are  not,  and  never  wrill  be 
part  of  the  creed  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day  Saints. 
They  were  conscientious  in  their  statements.  Joseph  and  Hyrum  were 
consistent  in  their  action  against  the  false  doctrines  of  polygamy  and 
spiritual  wifeism,  instigated  by  the  devil  and  advocated  by  men  who 
did  not  comprehend  sound  doctrine  nor  the  purity  of  the  celestial 
marriage  which  God  revealed  for  the  holiest  of  purposes." 

You  see  how  it  was.  The  "ladies'"  denial  went 
against  the  counterfeit  of  the  real  pearls,  of  which 
Brother  Brigham  gave  three  big  specimens  to  Brother 
Lee  in  one  night  "  for  the  holiest  of  purposes."  Lee  was 
then  thirty-five,  and  did  not  need  yet  the  holiest  of  all 
holy  purposes,  the  renewal  of  his  vitality.  That  came 
later,  when  Brigham  wanted  to  reward  his  fellow  hyena 
for  the  "holy  and  pure"  job  done  at  the  Mountain 
Meadows.* 

Let  us  see  another  link  in  the  chain  of  denials  fur- 
nished by  the  happy  proprietors  of  whole  strings  of 
gospel  pearls.  No  pearls  for  the  swine  in  1842  and  1843. 
In  July,  1845,  another  denial.  Apostle  Parley  P.  Pratt, 
who  had  several  wives  at  that  time,  denounced  polygamy 
in  a  public  card  as  a  "doctrine  of  devils  and  seducing 
spirits,  but  another  name  for  whoredom,  wicked  and 
unlawful  connection,  confusion  and  abomination."  Very 
good,  Brother  Parley.  That's  what  polygamy  really  is. 
But  marrying  three  women  in  one  night  and  occupying 
with  mother  and  daughter  the  same  bed,  that  belongs  to 


*  Historian  Stenhouse  touchingly  refers  in  his  "  Rocky  Mountain 
Saints  "  to  the  ".vast  energy  and  benevolence  "  of  the  prophet  Joseph. 
Of  his  benevolence,  especially  towards  his  "sisters"  and  "  daughters," 
there  remains  no  doubt,  but  his  energy,  vast  as  that  must  have  been, 
seems  less  than  that  of  John  D.  Lee,  though  we  have  no  precise  data 
from  the  prophet  Joseph's  pen,  as  we  have  from  Lee's,  in  his  little 
Harem -Almanac,  page  289  of  his  priceless  and  dreadful  book. 


92  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  "pearl"  department  of  sound  doctrine  and  the 
purity  of  celestial  marriage,  revealed  by  the  "  pard " 
for  the  "  holiest  of  purposes."  Of  a  truth  there  is 
nothing  ASIATIC  in  it.  Any  savage  Asiatic  would  blush 
at  such  "purity!  "  Why  do  I  speak  of  Asiatic?  Let 
the  News  answer : 

"  Polygamy,  in  the  ordinary  and  ASIATIC  sense  of  the  term,  never 
was  and  is  not  now  a  tenet  of  the  Latter-day  Saints.  That  which 
Joseph  and  Hyrum  denounced,  and  for  preaching  which  without 
authority  an  elder  was  cut  off  the  church  in  Nauvoo,  was  altogether 
different  to  the  order  of  celestial  marriage  including  a  plurality  of 
wives,  which  forms  the  subject  of  the  revelation." 

But  we  have  yet  another  apostolic  denial  furnished  by 
John  Taylor,  at  a  public  discussion  with  some  Eng- 
lish Reverends  in  Boulogne,  France,  July.  1850.  Says 
Apostle  Taylor  : 

"  We  are  accused  here  of  polygamy  and  actions  the  most  indelicate, 
obscene  and  disgusting,  such  as  none  but  a  corrupt  heart  could  have 
contrived.  These  things  are  too  outrageous  to  admit  of  belief.  There- 
fore I  shall  content  myself  by  reading  our  views  of  chastity  and 
marriage  from  a  work  published  by  its,  containing  some  articles  of 
our  faith." 

Taylor  then  read  the  very  article  of  the  Doctrine  and 
Covenants  quoted  by  the  eighteen  ladies  eight  years  before 
1850.  And.  how  deep  did  he  stick  himself  in  "  celestial  " 
mud  at  this  very  moment  ?  Let  me  quote  the  statement  of 
a  Mormon  Elder,  who  is  privy  to  many  of  the  secrets  of 
this  "Church."  He  says  : 

"  At  the  very  time  that  Taylor  denied  the  facts  in  France  by  read- 
ing from  the  Doctrine  and  Covenants,  he  had  TEN  women  as  wives — 
he  took  the  tenth  woman  in  1847  or  1848,  and  she  was  actually  his 
thirteenth  woman.  Three  had  left  him.  In  order  that  your  readers 
may  know  that  I  only  write  the  truth  in  this  respect,  I  will  name  -those 
whom  I  recollect  and  have  seen,  as  follows:  Leonora  (Cannon) 
Taylor,  his  first  wife;  Elizabeth  Kaighn,  her  cousin;  Mary  Rams- 
bottom,  called  Moss;  Miss  Ballintyne,  Annie  Ballintyne,  Miss  Oakley, 
Harriet  Whitaker,  Sophia  Whitaker,  and  two  others  whose  names  I 
forget — one,  I  think  was  a  Mrs.  Gillam,  whom  I  have  seen.  Thus, 
from  1843,  when  the  pseudo  revelation  was  given,  to  1847 — four  years 
— he  had  thirteen  women  sealed  to  him,  and  ten  whom  he  still  owned 
when  he  told  the  huge  lie  in  France.  John  Pack  and  Curtis  E.  Bolton, 
who  were  his  companion  elders  in  the  discussion,  heard  the  denial  and 


History  of  Celestial  Debauchery.  93 

sanctioned  this  utterance   and    course — they  were    polygamists   then 
also." 

And  let  me  add  one  well-known  fact :  While  John 
Taylor,  the  husband  of  ten  wives,  was  denying  polygamy, 
he  was  even  then  courting  a  young  English  woman,  no 
doubt  for  the  holiest  of  purposes,  and  tried  to  rob  a  friend 
of  his,  an  Elder,  of  his  promised  wife.  Isn't  it  a  whole 
bushel  of  pearls?  But  everything  must  have  an  end,  even 
the  endless  lying  of  the  Mormon  leaders.  It  was  in  the 
fall  of  1852  when  Brigham  Young  decided  to  let  the 
celestial  "  cat  out  of  the  bag,"  as  he  said.  His  clown, 
Heber  C.  Kimball,  announced  the  same  event  to  his 
friends  by  saying  that  "the  cat  would  have  kittens.'7  I 
have  this  from  people  who  heard  it  themselves.  And,  sure 
enough,  cat  and  kittens  play  now  right  lustily  in  the  open 
sunlight  in  the  columns  of  the  church  organ.  The 
"Church"  now  concedes  that  Joseph  knew  the  Abra- 
hamic  scheme  of  his  "  pard  "  already  in  1831  or  1832. 
Hear  the  News  again  : 

The  revelation  on  celestial  marriage,  published  [NOW]  in  the  Doc- 
trine and  Covenants,  was  given  July  1 2,  1 843.  The  principles  it  contains, 
with  further  intelligence  on  the  same  subject,  were  revealed  to  the 
Prophet  many  years  before,  but  not  formulated  in  writing  for  the 
church.  Acting  under  instructions  from  the  Lord,  the  prophet  had 
several  wives  sealed  to  him  before  the  date  of  that  revelation.  There 
are  other  matters  spoken  of  in  the  revelation  that  pertained  to  the 
time  when  it  was  written,  showing  that  the  statement  in  the  heading, 
as  it  appears  in  the  book,  is  correct ;  namely,  that  the  revelation  was 
given  on  that  date,  although  the  doctrines  it  contains  were  known  and 
had  been  acted  upon  under  special  instructions  previous  to  that  date. 

Apostle  Orson  Pratt,  the  great  champion  of  polygamy 
— he  married  nearly  all  his  servant  girls  for  the  holiest  of 
purposes  and  made  a  martyr  of  one  of  the  brightest  and 
best  wives  and  mothers — Apostle  Pratt  said  in  1878,  in  a 
public  sermon,  that  Joseph  had  received  "revelations" 
upon  that  principle  as  early  as  1831  and  had  wives  sealed 
to  him  as  early  as  April  1841.*  That  pearl  business 
began  early,  you  see.  I  think  myself  that  the  principle 
was  made  known  to  this  anointed  oil-bottle-prophet  at 


"  *Deseret  News,  November  23,  1878, 


94  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  age  of  puberty,  if  not  earlier  !  What  do  you  see  here, 
people  of  the  Great  Republic,  but  organized  secret  crime 
and  most  infamous  lying?  Didn't  I  say  from  the  outset 
that  the  Mormon  leaders  were  enemies  of  the  Mormon 
people  ?  Am  I  right  or  wrong  ?  I  said  it  because  every- 
where I  have  found  the  masses  of  people  honest,  nor  shall 
I  make  an  exception  of  Mormon  masses.  I  am  not  pre- 
pared to  believe,  I  do  not  believe,  that  these  Mormon 
masses  sustain  their  leaders  in  deliberate  lying.  Simply 
they  are  ignorant — must  be  ignorant — of  the  true  char- 
acter of  their  leaders,  past  and  present.  But  if  they  only 
knew  how  terribly  funny  they  are,  those  priestly  chaps  ! 
Whenever  Joseph  seduced  a  servant  girl  of  his,  or  an 
adopted  daughter,  whenever  he  stole  away  from  Emma's, 
the  peacefully  slumbering  mother's  side,  to  enjoy  an 
adventure  worthy  of  the  pen  of  Boccaccio  or  Bandello, 
he  always  acted  under  "  special instructions"  of  the  Lord. 
It  was  under  those  special  instructions  that  he  made  a 
pitiable  wreck  of  Emma's  wedded  life.  It  was  the  same 
kind  Lord,  I  suppose,  who  sent  Dr,  Bennett  to  Nau- 
voo  with  that  instrument,  which  the  handy  doctor  could 
clap  into  his  coat  sleeve,  when  any  of  Joseph's  women 
"were  in  trouble  !"  Oh,  most  ingenious  and  generous  of 
all"pards!"  Oh,  most  anointed  and  anointing  of  all 
prophets  !  Oh,  most  credulous  and  docible  of  all  peoples! 
Has  there  ever  been  such  a  sinister  farce  in  all  history  ? 

Let  me  present  now  an  affidavit  of  Wm.  Clayton,  who 
was  the  confidential  clerk  of  Joseph  in  Nauvoo.  Mrs. 
Pratt  says  that  he  was  a  brute  and  a  drunkard,  and  that 
may  readily  explain  his  elevation  to  such  an  important 
position.  The  affidavit  appeared  for  the  first  time  in  that 
very  same  memorable  number  of  the  Deseret  News,  May 
20,  1886.  The  reader  will  see  that  it  confirms  all  my 
statements.  Cat  and  kittens  are  all  on  my  side.  Clay- 
ton's affidavit  is  dated  February  16,  1874.  Clayton  him- 
self is  dead  since  four  or  five  years. 

WILLIAM  CLAYTON'S  TALE. 

"  Inasmuch  as  it  may  be  interesting  to  future  genera- 
tions of  the  members  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of 


A    Walk    With  the  Prophet.  95 

Latter-day  Saints  to  learn  something  of  the  first  teachings 
of  the  principle  of  plural  marriage  by  President  Joseph 
Smith,  the  prophet,  seer,  revelator  and  translator  of  said 
church,  I  will  give  a  short  relation  of  facts  which  occurred 
within  my  personal  knowledge,  and  also  matters  related 
to  me  by  President  Joseph  Smith. 

"I  was  employed  as  a  clerk  in  President  Joseph 
Smith's  office,  under  Elder  Willard  Richards,  and  com- 
menced to  labor  in  the  office  on  the  loth  day  of  February, 

1842.  I  continued  to  labor  with  Elder  Richards  until  he 
went  East  to  fetch  his  wife  to  Nauvoo. 

"  After  Elder  Richards  started  East,  I  was  necessarily 
thrown  constantly  into  the  company  of  President  Smith, 
having  to  attend  to  his  public  and  private  business,  re- 
ceiving and  recording  tithings  and  donations,  attending 
to  land  and  other  matters  of  business.  During  this  period 
I  necessarily  became  well  acquainted  with  Emma  Smith, 
the  wife  of  the  prophet  Joseph,  and  also  with  the  children 
— Julia  M.  (an  adopted  daughter),  Joseph,  Frederick  and 
Alexander  —  very  much  of  the  business  being  transacted 
at  the  residence  of  the  prophet. 

"On  the  yth  of  October,  1842,  in  the  presence  of 
Bishop  Newel  K.  Whitney  and  his  wife,  Elizabeth  Ann, 
President  Joseph  Smith  appointed  me  temple  recorder, 
and  also  his  private  clerk,  placing  all  records,  books, 
papers,  etc.,  in  my  care,  and  requiring  me  to  take  charge 
of  and  preserve  them,  his  closing  words  being,  '  When  I 
have  any  revelations  to  write,  you  are  the  one  to  write 
them.' 

"During  this  period  the  prophet  Joseph  frequently 
visited  my  house  in  my  company,  and  became  well 
acquainted  with  my  wife,  Ruth,  to  whom  I  had  been 
married  five  years.  One  day  in  the  month  of  February, 

1843,  date  not  remembered,  the  prophet  invited  me  to 
walk  with  him.     During  our  walk  he  said  he  had  learned 
that  there  was  a  sister  back  in  England  to  whom   I   was 
very  much  attached.     I  replied  there  was,  but  nothing 
further  than  an  attachment   such  as  a  brother  and  sister 
in  the  church  might  rightfully  entertain  for  each  other. 
He  then  said  :   '  Why  don't  you  send  for  her?  '    I  replied  : 


96  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith, 

'In  the  first  place,  I  have  no  authority  to  send  for  her, 
and  if  I  had,  I  have  not  the  means  to  pay  expenses.'  To 
this  he  answered  :  '  I  give  you  authority  to  send  for  her, 
and  I  will  furnish  you  the  means/  which  he  did.  This 
was  the  first  time  the  prophet  Joseph  talked  with  me  on 
the  subject  of  plural  marriage.  He  informed  me  that  the 
doctrine  and  principle  was  right  in  the  sight  of  our 
heavenly  Father,  and  that  it  was  a  doctrine  which  per- 
tained to  celestial  order  and  glory.  After  giving  me 
lengthy  instructions  and  information  concerning  the 
doctrine  of  celestial  or  plural  marriage,  he  concluded  his 
remarks  by  the  words,  '  It  is  your  privilege  to  have  all 
the  wives  you  want.'  After  this  introduction  our  con- 
versations on  the  subject  of  plural  marriage  were  very  fre- 
quent, and  he  appeared  to  take  particular  pains  to  inform 
and  instruct  me  in  respect  to  the  principle.  He  also  in- 
formed me  that  he  had  other  wives  living  besides  his  first 
wife  Emma,  and  in  particular  gave  me  to  understand  that 
Eliza  R.  Snow,  Louisa  Beaman,  Desdemona  C.  Fullmer 
and  others,  were  hisjawful  wives  in  the  sight  of  Heaven. 

"On  the  ayth  of  April,  1843,  tne  Prophet  Joseph 
Smith  married  to  me  Margaret  Moon,  for  time  and 
eternity,  at  the  residence  of  Elder  Heber  C.  Kimball,  and 
on  the  22d  of  July,  1843,  ne  married  to  me,  according  to 
the  order  of  the  church,  my  first  wife  Ruth. 

"  On  the  ist  day  of  May,  1843,  ^  officiated  in  the  orifice 
of  an  elder  by  marrying  Lucy  Walker  to  the  Prophet  Joseph 
Smith,  at  his  own  residence. 

"During  this  period  the  Prophet  Joseph  took  several 
other  wives.  Amongst  the  number  I  well  remember  Eliza 
Partridge,  Emily  Partridge,  Sarah  Ann  Whitney,  Helen 
Kimball  and  Flora  Woodworth.  These  all,  he  acknowl- 
edged to  me,  were  his  lawful,  wedded  wives,  according 
to  the  celestial  order.  His  wife  Emma  was  cognizant  of 
the  fact  of  some,  if  not  all  of  these  being  his  wives,  and 
she  generally  treated  them  very  kindly. 

"  On  the  morning  of  the  i2th  of  July,  1843,  Joseph 
and  Hyrum  Smith  came  into  the  office  in  the  upper  story 
of  the  '  brick  store,'  on  the  bank  of  the  Mississippi  river.. 
They  were  talking  on  the  subject  of  plural  marriage.  Hjr- 


Emma  Acts  Like  Lucifer.  97 

rum  said  to  Joseph,  '  If  you  will  write  the  revelation 
on  Celestial  Marriage,  I  will  take  and  read  it  to  Emma, 
and  I  believe  I  can  convince  her  of  its  truth,  and  you  will 
hereafter  have  peace.'  Joseph  smiled  and  remarked, 
1  You  do  not  know  Emma  as  well  as  I  do.'  Hyrum  re- 
marked, '  The  doctrine  is  so  plain,  I  can  convince  any 
reasonable  man  or  woman  of  its  truth,  purity  and  heavenly 
origin,'  or  words  to  their  effect.  Joseph  then  said,  'Well, 
I  will  write  the  revelation  and  we  will  see.'  He  then  re- 
quested me  to  get  paper  and  prepare  to  write.  Hyrum 
very  urgently  requested  Joseph  to  write  the  revelation  by 
means  of  the  Urim  and  Thummim,  but  Joseph  in  reply 
said  he  did  not  need  to,  for  he  knew  the  revelation  per- 
fectly from  beginning  to  end. 

' 'Joseph  and  Hyrum  then  sat  down  and  Joseph  com- 
menced to  dictate  the  revelation  on  Celestial  Marriage, 
and  1  wrote  it,  sentence  by  sentence,  as  he  dictated.  After 
the  whole  was  written,  Joseph  asked  me  to  read  it  through, 
slowly  and  carefully,  which  I  did,  and  he  pronounced  it 
correct.  He  then  remarked  that  there  was  much  more 
that  he  could  write,  on  the  same  subject,  but  what  was 
written  was  sufficient  for  the  present. 

"Hyrum  then  took  the  revelation  to  read  to  Emma. 
Joseph  remained  with  me  in  the  office  until  Hyrum  returned. 
When  he  came  back  Joseph  asked  him  how  he  had  suc- 
ceeded. Hyrum  replied  that  he  had  never  received  a 
more  severe  talking  to  in  his  life,  that  Emma  was  very 
bitter  and  full  of  resentment  and  anger. 

"Joseph  quietly  remarked,  'I  told  you  you  did  not 
know  Emma  as  well  as  I  did.'  Joseph  then  put  the  reve- 
lation in  his  pocket,  and  they  both  left  the  office. 

"  The  revelation  was  read  to  several  of  the  authorities 
during  the  day.  Towards  evening  Bishop  Newell  K. 
Whitney  asked  Joseph  if  he  had  any  objections  to  his 
taking  a  copy  of  the  revelation  ;  Joseph  replied  that  he 
had  not,  and  handed  it  to  him.  It  was  carefully  copied 
the  following  day  by  Joseph  C.  Kingsbury.  Two  or  three 
days  after  the  revelation  was  written  Joseph  related  to  me 
and  several  others  that  Emma  had  so  teased  and  urgently 
entreated  him  for  the  privilege  of  destroying  it,  that  he 


98  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

became  so  weary  of  her  teasing,  and  to  get  rid  of  her 
annoyance,  he  told  her  she  might  destroy  it  and  she  had 
done  so,  but  he  had  consented  to  her  wish  in  this  matter 
to  pacify  her,  realizing  that  he  knew  the  revelation  per- 
fectly, and  could  rewrite  it  at  any  time  if  necessary. 

"  The  copy  made  by  Joseph  C.  Kingsbury  is  a  true  and 
correct  copy  of  the  original  in  every  respect.  The  copy 
was  carefully  preserved  by  Bishop  Whitney,  and  but  few 
knew  of  its  existence  until  the  temporary  location  of  the 
Camp  of  Israel  at  Winter  Quarters,  on  the  Missouri  River, 
in  1846, 

" After  the  revelation  on  celestial  marriage  was  written 
Joseph  continued  his  instructions,  privately,  on  the  doc- 
trine, to  myself  and  others,  and  during  the  last  year  of  his 
life  we  were  scarcely  ever  together,  alone,  but  he  was  talk- 
ing on  the  subject,  and  explaining  that  doctrine  and  princi- 
ples connected  with  it.  He  appeared  to  enjoy  great  liberty 
and  freedom  in  his  teachings,  and  also  to  find  great  relief 
in  having  a  few  to  whom  he  could  unbosom  his  feelings  on 
that  great  and  glorious  subject. 

"  From  him  I  learned  that  the  doctrine  of  plural  and 
celestial  marriage  is  the  most  holy  and  important  doctrine 
ever  revealed  to  man  on  the  earth,  and  that  without  obe- 
dience to  that  principle  no  person  can  ever  attain  to  the 
fulness  of  exaltation  in  celestial  glory. 

[Signed]  WILLIAM  CLAYTON. 

"  SALT  LAKE  CITY,  February  i6th,  1874." 

Lots  of  pearls  in  that  oily  document.  The  prophet 
invites  his  clerk  to  a  walk.  Who  knows  whether  they 
didn't  sit  down  on  the  identical  log  on  which  he  sat  with 
Brother  Lorenzo?  That  log  was  there  for  the  holiest  of 
purposes,  no  doubt.  And  now  look  how  the  prophet 
"  tackles  "  his  disciple.  It  reads  like  the  talk  of  the  ser- 
pent to  mother  Eve.  There  is  a  sister  "back  in  England," 
whom  Clayton,  the  married  man,  doth  covet,  but  only  for 
the  holiest  of  purposes,  to  be  sure.  Joseph  gives  him 
"authority"  to  send  for  the  girl.  This  he  does  as  the 
Lord's  anointed  prophet.  He  then  agrees  to  pay  the 
expenses  of  the  girl's  trip;  and  this,  of  course,  he  would 


Broomstick,  Poker  and  Tongs.  99 

do  as  trustee-in-trust  of  the  church  funds.  Finally,  as  the 
very  "  buckler  of  Jehovah,"  as  he  used  to  vaunt  himself, 
he  explodes  a  whole  bombshell  of  patriarchal  blessings  in 
the  ear  of  his  staggering  scribe  :  "It  is  your  privilege  to 
have  all  the  wives  you  want."  Ah,  glorious!  Under  the 
sky  of  hospitable  Illinois,  in  the  face  of  modern  civiliza- 
tion, in  the  teeth  of  the  salutary  moral  laws  of  a  noble 
commonwealth,  the  conspirator  recruits  accomplices  of 
his  secret  ififamies  by  appealing  to  the  basest  passions  of 
his  associates. 

The  woman  " back  in  England"  comes  to  Nauvoo 
and  Joseph  seals  her  to  Clayton.  Then — perhaps  after  a 
little  broomstick-episode — Ruth,  the  lawful  wife  of  the 
clerk,  gets  sealed  to  him.  We  are  soon  in  a  very  platoon- 
fire  of  sealing  :  I  seal  you,  you  seal  me,  we  seal  each 
other.  The  revelation  says  that  Joseph  alone  has  the 
sealing  power — but  that's  nothing  ;  the  "pard  "  doesn't 
mind  such  petty  details  where  the  holiest  of  purposes  are 
on  stake. 

But  now,  how  is  this  ?  Emma  knew  that  other  women 
were  married  to  her  husband  and  treated  them  "very 
kindly."  You  must  be  joking,  Brother  Clayton.  Emma 
has  no  appreciation  of  your  pearls  and  holy  purposes. 
Would  she  have  given  Hyrum  such  a  terrible  raking 
down,  would  she  have  burned  the  revelation  if  she  cared 
the  snap  of  her  haughty  finger  for  them  ?  You  are  de- 
cidedly mistaken,  Brother  Clayton.  Sister  Emma  stands 
to  the  "law  of  Sarah  (!),"  firm  as  a  rock,  on  the  broom- 
stick  standpoint.  If  she  ever  changed  in  this  respect,  it 
was  from  broomstick  to  poker  and  tongs,  but  to  nothing 
else.  "  If  any  of  the  elders  preaches  polygamy  to  you, 
get  hold  of  a  poker  or  a  pair  of  tongs,  sisters,  and  drive 
the  fellow  away — . ' '  That  was  a  plain  little  speech  of  the 
Elect  Lady  in  one  of  the  meetings  of  the  "Ladies'  Relief 
Society."  The  fact  is  simply  this,  Brother  Clayton  :  Your 
statement  was  concocted  to  show  to  the  world  in  general, 
and  to  refractory  Mormon  wives  in  particular,  that  the 
first  of  all  "first  wives,"  the  Eve  of  celestial  marriage, 
liked  the  harem  business  awfully  well  after  all.  But  your 
lie  is  clumsy,  Elder  Clayton,  and  you  contradict  it  yourself. 


ioo  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Clayton's  statement  proves  the  truth  of  what  the 
enemies  of  the  Church  have  always  affirmed.  This  silly 
humbug  of  a  revelation  was  gotten  up  to  pacify  and  if 
need  be,  terrify  Emma  into  submission.  Hyrum  is  the 
official  busybody  and  go-between  in  this  attempt  at  celes- 
tial reconciliation.  "You  will  hereafter  have  peace," 
says  that  excellent  brother  and  brother-in-law.  But  he 
insists  on  getting  for  the  Prophet  the  old  white  hat  and 
the  peepstone  for  this  holiest  of  purposes.  Clayton  puts 
it  finer ;  he  speaks  solemnly  of  the  "Urim  and  Thummim," 
—  Lucy  -  Munchhausen's  "two  smooth  three-cornered 
diamonds  set  in  glass,  and  the  glasses  set  in  silver  bows 
which  were  connected  with  each  other  in  much  the  same 
way  as  old-fashioned  spectacles."  *  Emma  Smith  says, 
on  her  death  bed,  that  he  dictated  "sitting  with  his  face 
buried  in  his  hat,  with  the  stone  in  it."f  'Twas  just 
the  old  peepstone  and  nothing  else. 

But  poor  Hyrum  !  He  put  his  brotherly  hand  in  a 
wasp-nest  when  he  read  that  stuff  to  Emma.  Good 
heavens,  she  didn't  treat  him  "  very  kindly  !  "  And  those 
curtain-lectures  to  the  anointed  of  the  Lord  !  My  servant 
Joseph  was  in  an  awful  fix.  The  "  pard"  must  have  been 
dreadfully  angry  at  that  woman,  much  more  wrathy  than 
he  was  over  the  white  dog  affair ;  but  there  was  no  con- 
vincing u  mine  handmaid  "  of  the  genuine  value  of  the 
pearls.  So  the  new  Abraham  had  to  eat  crow.  The  rest 
was  silence  as  to  celestial  law  in  Emma's  house;  "my 
house  is  a  house  of  order,"  she  says  to  Joseph,  and 
"the  ruler  over  many  things"  has  to  stop  "the  works 
of  Abraham ' '  in  her  house.  But  there  was,  for  the 
holiest  of  purposes,  that  blessed  log  by  the  river,  a  fur- 
long away  from  the  "  brick  store  "  and  from  the  ears  of 
mine  elect  handmaid,  Mrs.  Emma  Caudle.  There,  seated 
on  the  log  (and  just  as  easy  as  rolling  off  it),  could  they  re- 
ceive and  impart  revelations.  There  could  these  godly 
brigands  talk  unmolested  about  their  boundless  "  privi- 
leges;" about  "  all  the  women  they  wanted,"  and  they 
wanted  ALL  the  women  ! 

'*"  Joseph  the  Prophet,"  p.  107. 
fTullidge,  "  Life  of  Joseph,"  p.  793. 


Polygamy  or  Damnation.  101 

Let  me  finish  this  chapter  with  a  reproduction  of  the 
revelation  on  the  "  most  holy  and  important  doctrine  ever 
revealed  to  man." 

I  may  hope  that  with  the  aid  of  notes  and  comments 
this  tedious  document  may  prove  intelligible  if  not 
amusing : 

CELESTIAL  MARRIAGE. 


A  Revelation  on  the  Patriarchal  Order  of  Matrimony,  or 
Plurality  of  Wives,  Given  to  Joseph  Smith,  the  Seer, 
in  Nauvoo,  July  12,  1843. 


1.  Verily,   thus  saith   the  Lord  unto  you,   my  servant 
Joseph,  that  inasmuch  as  you  have  inquired   of  my  hand, 
to  know  and  understand  wherein  I,  the  Lord,  justified  my 
servants  Abraham,   Isaac*  and  Jacob,    as  also  Moses  (?), 
David  and  Solomon,   my  servants,   as  touching  the  prin- 
ciple and  doctrine  of  their  having  many  wives  and  concu- 
bines:   Behold  !  and  lo,  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God,  and  will 
answer  thee  as  touching  this  matter  :     Therefore,   prepare 
thy  heart  to  receive  and. obey  the  instructions  which  I  am 
about  to  give  unto  you ;  for  all  those  who  have  this  law 
revealed  unto  them  must  obey  the  same  ;  for  behold  !   I 
reveal  unto  you  a  new  and  an  everlasting  covenant,  and  if 
ye  abide  not  that  covenant,  then  are  ye   damned  ;  for  no 
one  can   reject    this  covenant  and  be  permitted  to  enter 
into  my  glory  ;  for   all    who  will   have    a  blessing  at  my 
hands  shall  abide   the  law  which  was  appointed  for  that 
blessing,  and  the  conditions  thereof,  as  was  instituted  from 
before  the  foundation  of  the  world  ;    and  as  pertaining  to 
the  new  and  everlasting  covenant,  it  was  instituted  for  the 
fulness    of  my   glory;    and   he    that  receiveth  a  fulness 
thereof,  must  and  shall  abide  the   law,    or  he  shall   be 
damned,  saith  the  Lord  God. 

2.  And,  verily,  I  say  unto  you,  that  the  conditions  of 

*Isaac  was  the  model  for  all  polygamists,  he  had  only  one  wife. 


102  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

this  law  are  these:  All  covenants,  contracts,  bonds, 
obligations,  oaths,  vows,  performances,  connections,  asso- 
ciations or  expectations,  that  are  not  made  and  entered 
into  and  sealed  by  the  Holy  Spirit  of  promise,  of  him 
who  is  anointed,  both  as  well  for  time  and  for  all  eternity, 
and  that  too  most  holy,  by  revelation  and  commandment, 
through  the  medium  of  mine  anointed,  whom  I  have 
appointed  on  the  earth  to  hold  this  power  (and  I  have 
appointed  unto  my  servant  Joseph  to  hold  this  power  in 
the  last  days,  and  there  is  never  but  one  on  the  earth  at  a 
time  on  whom  this  power  and  the  keys  of  this  priesthood 
are  conferred),  are  of  no  efficacy,  virtue  or  force*  in  and 
after  the  resurrection  from  the  dead;  for  all  contracts 
that  are  not  made  unto  this  end,  have  an  end  when  men 
are  dead. 

3.  Behold  !   mine  house  is  a  house  of  order,  saith  the 
Lord  God,  and  not  a  house  of  confusion.     Will  I  accept 
of  an   offering,  saith  the   Lord,  that  is  not  made  in  my 
name  !     Or,  will  I   receive  at   your  hands  that  which  I 
have  not  appointed  !     And  will  I  appoint  unto  you,  saith 
the  Lord,  except  it  be  by  law,  even  as  I  and   my  Father 
ordained  unto  you  before  the  world  was  !     I  am  the  Lord 
thy  God,  and  I  give  unto   you   this  commandment,   that 
no  man  shall  come  unto  the  Father  but  by  me,  or  by  my 
word,  which   is  my   law,  saith  the  Lord ;  and  everything 
that  is  in  the  world,  whether  it  be  ordained  of  men,  by 
thrones,  or  principalities,  or  powers,  or  things   of  name, 
whatsoever  they  may   be,   that  are  not  by  me,  or  by  my 
word,  saith  the  Lord,  shall  be   thrown   down,   and   shall 
not  remain  after  men  are  dead,  neither  in   nor  after  the 
resurrection,   saith   the  Lord   your  God ;  for  whatsoever 
things  remaineth  are  by  me,   and  whatsoever  things  are 
not  by  me  shall  be  shaken  and  destroyed. 

4.  Therefore,  if  a  man  marry  him  a  wife  in  the  world, 
and  he  marry  her  not  by  me,   nor  by  my  word,   and   he 
covenant  with  her  so  long  as  he  is  in  the  world,  and  she, 
with  him,  their  covenant  and  marriage   is  not  of  force 

*  What  does  this  make  of  all  earth's  marriages  ?  No  wonder  so 
many  Mormon  elders  have  robbed  Gentiles  of  their  "  time"  wives  — 
"for  all  eternity  !  " 


Wretched  Bachelor  Angels.  103 

when  they  are  dead,  and  when  they  are  out  of  the  world ; 
therefore,  they  are  not  bound  by  any  law  when  they  are 
out  of  the  world ;  therefore,  when  they  are  out  of  the 
world  they  neither  marry  nor  are  given  in  marriage,  but 
are  appointed  angels  in  heaven  ;  which  angels  are  minis- 
tering servants,  to  minister  for  those  who  are  worthy  of  a 
iar  more,  and  an  exceeding,  and  an  eternal  weight  of 
glory ;  for  these  angels  did '  not  abide  my  law,  therefore 
they  cannot  be  enlarged,  but  remain  separately  and 
singly,  without  exaltation,  in  their  saved  condition,  to  all 
eternity,  and  from  henceforth  are  not  Gods,  but  are  angels 
of  God  for  ever  and  ever. 

5.  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you  if  a  man  marry  a 
wife,  and  make  a  covenant  with  her  for  time  and  for  all 
eternity,  if  that  covenant  is  not  by  me  or  by  my  word, 
which  is  my  law,  and  is  not  sealed  by  the  Holy  Spirit  of 
promise,  through  him  whom  I  have  anointed  and  appointed 
unto  this  power,  then   it   is   not  valid,   neither  of  force 
when  they  are  out  of  the  world,  because  they  are   not 
joined  by  me,  saith  the  Lord  God,  neither  by  my  word ; 
when  they  are  out  of  the  world,   it  cannot  be  received 
there,  because  the   angels  and   the   Gods  are  appointed 
there,  by  whom  they  cannot  pass ;  they  cannot,  therefore, 
inherit  my  glory,  for  my  house  is  a  house  of  order,  saith 
the  Lord  God. 

6.  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  a  man  marry  a 
wife  by  my  word,  which  is  my  law,  and  by  the  new  and 
everlasting  covenant,   and  it  is  sealed  unto  them  by  the 
Holy  Spirit  of  promise,  by  him    who  is  anointed,  unto 
whom  I  have  appointed  this  power,  and  the  keys  of  this 
priesthood,  and  it  shall  be  said  unto  them,  ye  shall  come 
forth  in  the  first  resurrection,  and  if  it  be  after  the  first 
resurrection,   in   the  next  resurrection,   and  shall  inherit 
thrones,  kingdoms,  principalities,  and  powers  of  domin- 
ions, all  heights,  and  depths  —  then  shall  it  be  written  in 
the  Lamb's  Book  of  Life,  that  he  shall  commit  no  murder 
whereby  to  shed  innocent  blood  ;  and  if  ye  abide  in  my 
covenant,  and  commit  no  murder,  whereby  to  shed  inno- 
cent  blood,   it    shall    be    done   unto    them   in  all  things 
whatsoever  my  servant  hath  put  upon  them,  in  time  and 


iO4  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

through  all  eternity,  and  shall  be  of  full  force  when  they 
are  out  of  the  world  ;  and  they  shall  pass  by  the  angels, 
and  the  Gods,  which  are  set  there,  to  their  exaltation 
and  glory  in  all  things,  as  hath  been  sealed  upon  their 
heads,  which  glory  shall  be  a  fulness  and  a  continuation 
of  the  seeds  for  ever  and  ever. 

7.  Then  shall  they  be  Gods,  because  they  have  no  end; 
therefore  shall   they  be   from   everlasting   to   everlasting, 
because   they  continue ;    then    shall    they  be  above  all, 
because  all  things   are   subject   unto   them.     Then  shall 
they  be   Gods,   because    they  have    all    power,    and    the 
angels  are  subject  unto  them. 

8.  Verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  except  ye  abide  my 
law,  ye  cannot  attain  to  this  glory ;   for  strait  is  the  gate, 
and  narrow  the  way  that  leadeth  unto  the  exaltation  and 
continuation  of  the  lives,   and  few  there  be  that  find  it, 
because  ye  receive  me  not  in  the  world,  neither  do  ye 
know  me.     But  if  ye  receive  me  in  the  world,  then  shall 
ye  know  me,  and  shall  receive  your  exaltation,  that  where 
I  am,  ye  shall  be  also.     This  is  eternal  LIVES,  to  know  the 
only  wise  and  true  God,  and  Jesus  Christ  whom  he  hath 
sent.     I  am  He.     Receive  ye,  therefore,  my  law.*    Broad 
is  the  gate  and  wide  the  way  that  leadeth  to  death ;  and 
many  there  are  that  go  in  thereat,  because  they  receive 
me  not,  neither  do  they  abide  in  my  law. 

9.  Verily,  verily  I  say  unto   you,    if  a  man    marry   a 
wife  according  to  my  word,  and  they  are  sealed   by   the 
Holy  Spirit  of  promise,  according  to  mine   appointment, 
and  he  or  she  shall  commit  any  sin  or  transgression  of  the 
new  and  everlasting  covenant  whatever,  and  all  manner  of 
blasphemies,  and  if  they  commit  no  murder,  wherein  they 
shed  inncent  blood,  yet  they  shall  come  forth  in  the  first 
resurrection,    and  enter   into   their  exaltation ;  but    they 
shall  be  destroyed  in  the  flesh,  and  shall  be  delivered  unto 
the     buffetings  of  Satan   unto    the   day   of  redemption, 
saith  the  Lord  God. 

10.  The  blasphemy  against   the  Holy  Ghost,  which 
shall  not  be  forgiven  in  the  world,  nor  out  of  the  world, 

*  "  I  AM  HE  !     RECEIVE  YE  THEREFORE  MY  LAW."     This  is  the 
vertical  point  of  Mormon  blasphemy. 


The    Works  of  Abraham.  105 

is  in  that  ye  commit  murder,  wherein  ye  shed  innocent 
blood,  and  assent  unto  my  death,  after  ye  have  received 
my  new  and  everlasting  covenant,  saith  the  Lord  God, 
and  he  that  abideth  not  this  law  can  in  in  no  wise  enter 
into  my  glory,  but  shall  be  damned,  saith  the  Lord. 

11.  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God,  and  will  give  unto  thee 
the  law  of  my  Holy  Priesthood,  as  was  ordained   by   me 
and  my  father,  before  the  world  was.     Abraham  received 
all  things,  whatsoever  he  received,  by  revelation  and  com- 
mandment, by  my  word,  saith  the  Lord,  and  hath  entered 
into  his  exaltation,  and  sitteth  upon  his  throne. 

12.  Abraham  received  promises  concerning  his  seed, 
and    of  the   fruit  of  his  loins — -from  whose  loins  ye*   are, 
namely,  my  servant  Joseph — which  were  to  continue  so  long 
as  they  were  in  the  world  ;  and  as  touching  Abraham  and 
his  seed,  out  of  the  world,  they  shall  continue ;  both  in 
the  world  and  out  of  the  world  should   they  continue   as 
innumerable  as  the  stars;  or  if  ye  were  to  count  the  sand 
upon    ths   sea-shore,  ye  could  not  number   them.       This 
promise  is  yours  also,  because  ye  are  of  Abraham,  and   the 
promise  was  made  unto  Abraham ;  and   by  this   law  are 
the  continuation  of  the  works  of  my  Father,  wherein   He 
glorifieth  himself.     Go  ye,  therefore,  and  do  the  works  of 
Abraham ;  enter  ye  into  my  law,  and  ye  shall  be  saved. 
But   it  ye  enter  not  into  my  lawr,  ye  cannot   receive  the 
promises  of  my  Father,  which  He  made  unto  Abraham. 

13.  God  commanded  Abraham,  and  Sarah  gave  Ha- 
gar  to  Abraham  to  wife.f  And  why  did  she  do  it  ?  Because 
this  was  the  law,  and  from  Hagar  sprang   many    people. 
This,   therefore,  was   fulfilling,   among   other  things,    the 
promises.     Was  Abraham,  therefore,  under  condemnation  ? 
Verily,  I  say  unto  you,  Nay;  for  I,  the  Lord,  commanded 

*  Ye  is  Joseph. 

f  Joe's  inspired  translation  and  correction  of  the  Holy  Scriptures, 
Genesis,  i6th  chapter,  runs,  "  God  does  not  acknowledge  Hagar  as 
Abram's  wife."  Joe's  inspired  Bible  correction  "was  begun  in  June,  1830, 
and  finished  July  2,  1833."  It  was  Rigdon's  work.  The  Lord  (we  are 
told)  revealed  polygamy  to  Joe  as  early  as  1831.  At  that  time  He  does 
not  acknowledge  Hagar  as  Abram's  wife.  He  does,  though,  on  the 
1,2th  July,  1843 — "f°r  I  tne  L°rd  commanded"  that  Sarah  give  Hagar 
to  Abraham  to  wife.  Who  forgets?  Does  Joe,  or  his  "  pard  ?  " 


io6  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

it.  Abraham  was  commanded  to  offer  his  son  Isaac ; 
nevertheless,  it  was  written,  Thou  shalt  not  kill.  Abra- 
ham, however,  did  not  refuse,  and  it  was  accounted  unto 
him  for  righteousness. 

14.  Abraham  received  concubines,  and  they  bare  him 
children,   and  it  was  accounted  unto  him  for  righteous- 
ness, because  they  were  given  unto  him,  and  he  abode  in 
my  law;  as  Isaac  also,  and  Jacob  did  none  other  things 
than  that  which  they  were  commanded ;  and  because  they 
did  none  other  things  than  that  which   they  were  com- 
manded, they  have  entered  into  their  exaltation,  according 
to  the  promises,  and  sit  upon  thrones,  and  are  not  angels, 
but    are    Gods.     David    also   received    many   wives   and 
concubines,  as  also  Solomon,  and  Moses  my  servant,  as 
also  many  others  of  my  servants,  from  the  beginning  of 
creation  until  this  time  ;  and   in  nothing  did  they  sin, 
save  in  those  things  which  they  received  not  of  me. 

15.  David's  wives   and    concubines    were  given  unto 
him,    of   me,  by  the  hand    of  Nathan,  my  servant,  and 
others  of  the  prophets  who  had   the  keys  of  this  power ; 
and  in  none  of  these  things  did  he  sin  against  me,  save 
in  the  case  of  Uriah  and  his  wife ;  and  therefore   he  hath 
fallen  from  his  exaltation  and  received  his  portion,  and  he 
shall  not  inherit   them  out  of  the  world,  for  I  gave  them 
unto  another,  saith  the  Lord. 

1 6.  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God,  and  I  gave  unto  thee  my 
servant  Joseph,  an  appointment,   and   restore  all  things ; 
ask  what  ye  will,  and  it  shall  be  given  unto  you,  accord- 
ing to  my  word  :   and  as  ye  have  asked  concerning  adul- 
tery * —  verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  a  man  receiveth 
a  wife  in  the  new  and  everlasting  covenant,  and  if  she  be 
with  another  man,  and  I  have  not  appointed  unto  her  by 
the  holy  anointing,  f  she    hath   committed  adultery,   and 
shall  be  destroyed.     If  she  be   not   in  the  new  and  ever- 
lasting covenant,  and   she  be  with  another  man,  she  has 
committed  adultery;  and  if  her  husband  be  with  another 
woman,  and  he  was  under  a  vow,  he  hath  broken  his  vow, 

*  And  well  you  might,  Joseph  ! 

f  Here 's  where   my  servant's   little   oil-bottle   comes   in ;    a  few 
drops  make  adultery  all  right. 


Adultery,    Covenants  and  Anointings.  107 

and  hath  committed  adultery ;  and  if  she  hath  not  com- 
mitted adultery,  but  is  innocent,  and  hath  not  broken  her 
vow,  and  she  knoweth  it,  and  I  reveal  it  unto  you,  my 
servant  Joseph,  then  shall  you  have  power,  by  the  power 
of  my  Holy  Priesthood,  to  take  her,  and  give  her  unto 
him  that  hath  not  committed  adultery,  but  hath  been 
faithful,  for  he  shall  be  made  ruler  over  many ;  for  T  have 
conferred  upon  you  the  keys  and  power  of  the  priesthood, 
wherein  I  restore  all  things,  and  make  known  unto  you  all 
things  in  due  time.* 

17.  And  verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  that  whatsoever 
you  seal  on  earth  shall  be  sealed   in  heaven,  and  whatso- 
ever you  bind  on  earth,  in   my  name,  and  by  my  word, 
saith  the  Lord,  it  shall  be  eternally  bound  in  the  heavens ; 
and  whosesoever  sins  you  remit  on  earth  shall  be  remitted 
eternally  in  the  heavens;  and  whosesoever  sins  you  retain 
on  earth  shall  be  retained  in  heaven. 

1 8.  And  again,  verily  I  say,  whomsoever  you  bless  I 
will  bless ;  and  whomsoever  you  curse  I  will  curse,  saith 
the  Lord,  for  I,  the  Lord,  am  thy  God. 

19.  And  again,    verily  I  say  unto  you,   my  servant  Jo- 
seph, that  whatsoever  you  give  on  earth,    and  to  whomso- 
ever you  give  anyone  on  earth,  by  my  word,  and  according 
to  my  law,  it  shall  be  visited  with  blessings  and  not  curs- 
ings, and   with   my   power,   saith  the  Lord,    and  shall  be 
without  condemnation  on  earth,  and  in  heaven ;   for  I  am 
the  Lord  thy  God.  and  will  be  with  thee  even  unto  the 
end  of  the  world,   and  through  all  eternity ;   for  verily  I 
seal  upon   you   your  exaltation,  and  prepare  a  throne  for 
you   in  the  kingdom  of  my  Father,  with  Abraham,  your 
father.     Behold,  I  have  seen    your  sacrifices,f  and  will 
forgive    all    your   sins ;    I    have   seen    your    sacrifices    in 
obedience  to  that  which  I  have  told  you  :     Go,  therefore, 
and  I  make  A  WAY  FOR  YOUR  ESCAPE,  as  I  accepted  the 
offering  of  Abraham,  of  his  son  Isaac. 

20.  Verily  I  say  unto  you,  a  commandment  I  give  unto 
mine  handmaid,   Emma  Smith,  your  wife,  whom   I   have 

*  What    devilish    trickery    and    doings    of    the    Lord's    Anointed 
servants  and  handmaids  are  here  hinted  at !     Lust  in  labyrintho. 
f  But  be  sure  to  take  a  white  dog,  and  not  a  white  sheep  ! 


i«8  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

given  unto  you,  that  she  stay  herself,  and  partake  not  of 
that  which  I  commanded  you  to  offer  unto  her*  for  I  did 
it,  saith  the  Lord,  to  prove  you  all,  as  I  did  Abraham ; 
and  that  I  might  require  an  offering  at  your  hand,  by 
covenant  and  sacrifice  :  and  let  mine  handmaid  Emma 
Smith  receive  all  those  that  HAVE  BEEN  GIVEN  unto  my 
servant  Joseph,  and  who  are  virtuous  and  pure  before  me ; 
and  those  who  are  not  pure  and  have  said  they  were 
pure,  shall  be  destroyed  saith  the  Lord  God,  for  I  am  the 
Lord  thy  God,  and  ye  shall  oj^ey  my  voice  ;  and  I  give 
unto  my  servant  Joseph,  that  he  shall  be  made  ruler 
over  many  things,  for  he  hath  been  faithful  over  a  few 
things,  and  from  henceforth  I  will  strengthen  him.f 

21.  And  I  command  mine  handmaid,   Emma  Smith, 
to  abide  and  cleave  unto  my  servant  Joseph,    and  to  none 
else.     But   if  she  will  not  abide  this  commandment,  she 
shall  be  destroyed,  saith  the  Lord,   for  I  am  the  Lord  thy 
God,  and  will  destroy  her  if  she  abide  not  in  my  law  ;  but 
if  she  will  not  abide  this  commandment,    then  shall  my 
servant  Joseph  do  all  things  for  her,  even  as  he  hath  said,  J 
and  I  will  bless  him  and  multiply  him,  and  give  to  him  a 
hundred-fold    in    this    world,    of   fathers    and   mothers, § 
brothers  and  sisters,  houses*  and  lands,  wives  and  children, 
and  crowns  of  eternal  lives  in  the  eternal  worlds.     And 
again,  verily  I  say,  let  mine  handmaid  forgive  my  servant 
Joseph  HIS  TRESPASSES,  and  then  shall  she  be  forgiven  her 
trespasses,  wherein  she  has  trespassed  against  me,   and  I, 
the  Lord  thy  God,   will  bless  her  and  multiply  her  and 
make  her  heart  to  rejoice. 

22.  And  again,  I  say,  let  not  my  servant  Joseph  put 

*  I  will  explain  this.  Conspicuous  among  "all  the  women,"  Joe 
"wanted,"  was  pretty  Jane  Law;  and  in  "  General"  William  Law's 
house  Emma  had  once  sought  refuge  after  a  pitched  battle  with  Mine 
Anointed.  A  transfer  of  marital  partners  was  at  one  time  on  the  tapis, 
but  Emma  would  not  be  induced  to  "  partake."  This  I  have  from  one 
who  personally  knew  of  the  proposed  swap.  Oh,  those  "special  in- 
structions!" 

f  That  will  not  be  amiss  under  the  circumstances ! 

t  That  means,  I  suppose,  put  her  away  and  provide  for  her. 

£  -in -law  ? 


Concubines  in  Round  Numbers.  109 

his  property  out  of  his  hands,*  lest  an  enemy  come  and 
destroy  him,  for  Satan  seeketh  to  destroy  ;  for  I  am  the 
Lord  thy  God,  and  he  is  my  servant,  and  behold  !  and  lo, 
I  am  with  him,  as  I  was  with  Abraham,  thy  father,  even 
unto  his  exaltation  and  glory. 

23.  Now,  as  touching  the  law  of  the  priesthood,  there 
are  many  things  pertaining  thereunto.     Verily,   if  a  man 
be  called  of  my  Father,  as  was  Aaron,  by  mine  own  voice, 
and    by   the    voice    of  him    that   sent    me,    and    I    have 
endowed  him  with  the  keys  of  the  power  of  the  priesthood, 
if  he  do  anything  in  my  name  and  according  to  my  law, 
and  by  my  word,  he  will  not  commit  sin,  and  I  will  justify 
him.     Let  no  one  therefore  set  on  my  servant  Joseph^  for 
I  will  justify  him,  for  he  shall  do   the  sacrifice  which  I 
require  at  his  hands  for  his  transgressions,  saith  the  Lord 
your  God. 

24.  And  again,  as  pertaining  to  the  law  of  the  priest- 
hood :     If  a  man  espouse  a  virgin,  and  desire  to  espouse 
another,  and  the  first  give  her  consent ;  and  if  he  espouse 
the  second  and  they  are  virgins,  and  have  vowed  to  no 
other  man,  then  is  he  justified  ;  he  cannot  commit  adultery, 
for  they    are   given    unto    him ;    for   he    cannot    commit 
adultery  with  that  that  belongeth  unto  him,  and  to  none 
else ;  and  if  he  have  TEN  J  virgins  given  unto  him  by  this 
law,  he  cannot  commit  adultery,  for  they  belong  to  him, 
and  they  are  given  unto   him  —  therefore  is  he  justified, 
But    if    one    or   either   of  the    ten    virgins,   after   she  is 
espoused,  shall  be  with  another  man,  she  has  committed 
adultery,  and  shall  be  destroyed ;  for  they  are  given  unto 
him  to  multiply  and  replenish  the  earth,  according  to  my 
commandment,  and  to  fulfil  the  promise  which  was  given 
by  my  Father  before  the  foundation  of  the  world  ;  and 
for  their  exaltation   in  the  eternal  worlds,  that  they  may 

*  Had  mine  Handmaid  Emma  insisted  upon  a  division  of  the 
property  ? 

f  Joe  here  hurls  his  pard  in  the  teeth  of  those  of  his  friends  who, 
like  William  Law,  opposed  strongly  his  "new  and  everlasting 
covenant  "  of  celestial  whoredom. 

\  John  Taylor  had  fulfilled  the  law  to  the  letter,  when  he  denied 
polygamy. 


no  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

bear  the  souls  of  men ;    for  herein   is   the   work   of  my 
Father  continued,  that  He  may  be  glorified. 

25.  And  again,  verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  any 
man  have  a  wife,  who  holds  the  keys  of  this  power,  and  he 
teaches  unto  her  the  law  of  my  priesthood,  as  pertaining 
to  these  things,  then  shall  she  believe*  and  administer 
unto  him,  or  she  shall  be  destroyed,  saith  the  Lord  your 
God,  for  I  will  destroy  her ;  for  I  will  magnify  my  name 
upon  all  those  who  receive  and  abide  in  my  law.  There- 
fore it  shall  be  lawful  in  me,  if  she  receive  not  this  law, 
for  him  to  receive,  all  things  f  whatsoever  I,  the  Lord  his 
God,  will  give  unto  him  because  she  did  not  believe  and 
administer  unto  him  according  to  my  word ;  and  she  then 
becomes  the  transgressor,  and  he  is  exempt  from  THE  LAW 
OF  SARAH,  who  administered  unto  Abraham  according  to 
the  law  when  I  commanded  Abraham  to  take  Hagar  to 
wife.  And  now  as  pertaining  to  this  law,  verily,  verily 
I  say  unto  you  I  will  reveal  more  unto  you  hereafter, 
therefore,  let  this  suffice  for  the  present.  Behold,  I  am 
Alpha  and  Omega,  Amen. 


*  That  is  the  free  consent  of  Mormon  women ;  they  shall  believe, 
or  be  destroyed. 

f  So  Mormon  women  are  things,  are  they?  and  the  Mormon 
priest  may  have  "all  the  women  he  wants,"  his  first  thing  of  a  wife 
consenting  or  not. 


Night   Work  of  the  Nauvoo   City  Police.         in 
'   THE   PROPHET'S   BROTHERS. 


Hyrum  Smith — Easily  Celestialized — -John  D.  Lee,  the 
Pious  and  Cautious  Danite — Night  Scenes  in  Nau- 
voo— Nine  Fresh  Wives  in  One  Year  —  Brigham 
Young  as  ' '  Polyg ' '  in  Nauvoo  —  Character  of  Hy- 
rum—  William  Smith,  the  Apostolic  Brute,  Criminal, 
and  Pious  Writer. 


Hyrum  Smith,  born  February  11,  1800,  was  a  little 
better  than  Prophet  Joe,  and  William,  born  March  13, 
1811,  was  worse  than  the  prophet.  Like  Joe,  they  had 
never  been  engaged  in  any  honest  profession  or  work,  but 
were  money-diggers  and  vagabonds,  and  joined  heart  and 
hand  in  the  great  imposture  of  the  prophet. 

Hyrum  was  one  of  the  first  to  go  into  polygamy,  after 
Joseph  had  received  the  "revelation"  from  his  accom- 
modating Lord.  John  D.  Lee  tells  us  in  his  "  Confes- 
sion" how  he  was  initiated  by  the  Patriarch  Hyrum 
into  the  "  new  law  :  " 

"One  day  the  chief  of  police  came  to  me  and  said 
that  I  must  take  two  more  policemen  that  he  named  and 
watch  the  house  of  a  widow  named  Clawson.  I  was  in- 
formed that  a  man  went  there  nearly  every  night  about 
ten  o'clock  and  left  about  daylight.  I  was  also  ordered 
to  station  myself  and  my  men  near  the  house,  and  when 
the  man  came  out  we  were  to  knock  him  down  and  cas- 
trate him,  and  not  to  be  careful  how  hard  we  hit,  for  it 
would  not  be  inquired  into  if  we  killed  him.  I  felt  a 
timidity  about  carrying  out  these  orders.  It  was  my  duty 
to  report  all  unusual  orders  that  I  received  from  my 
superiors  on  the  police  force,  to  the  Prophet  Joseph 
Smith,  or  in  his  absence  to  Hyrum,  next  in  authority. 
I  went  to  the  house  of  the  prophet,  but  he  was  not  at 
home.  I  then  called  for  Hyrum  and  he  gave  me  an  inter- 
view. I  told  him  the  orders  that  I  had  received  from  the 


ii2  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

chief  and  asked  him  if  I  should  obey  or  not.  He  said  to 
me:  ' Brother  Lee,  you  have  acted  wisely  in  listening  to 
the  voice  of 'the  spirit.  It  was  the  influence  of  God's 
spirit  that  sent  you  here.  You  would  have  been  guilty  of 
a  great  crime  if  you  had  obeyed  your  chief's  orders.' 
Hyrum  then  told  me  that  the  man  that  I  was  ordered  to 
attack  was  Howard  Egan,  and  that  he  had  been  sealed  to 
Mrs.  Clawson,  and  that  their  marriage  was  a  most  holy 
one  ;  that  it  was  in  accordance  to  a  revelation  that  the 
prophet  had  recently  received  direct  from  God.  He 
then  explained  to  me  fully  the  doctrine  of  polygamy,  and 
wherein  it  was  permitted,  and  why  it  was  right.  I  was 
greatly  interested  in  the  doctrine.  It  accorded  exactly 
with  my  views  of  the  Scripture,  and  I  at  once  accepted 
and  believed  in  the  doctrine  as  taught  by  the  revelations 
received  by  the  prophet.  As  a  matter  of  course,  I  did 
not  carry  out  the  orders  of  the  chief.  I  had  him  in- 
structed in  his  duty,  and  so  Egan  was  never  bothered 
by  the  police.  A  few  months  after  that  I  was  sealed  to 
my  second  wife.  I  was  sealed  to  her  by  Brigham  Young, 
then  one  of  the  twelve.  In  less  than  one  year  after  I 
first  learned  the  will  of  God  concerning  the  marriage  of 
the  Saints  I  was  the  husband  of  nine  wives '."  — [Lee, 
p.  288.] 

In  course  of  time,  Lee,  the  worthy  disciple  of  Joe, 
Hyrum  and  Brigham,  had  nineteen  wives  and  sixty-four 
children  ;  which  constitutes,  in  the  Mormon  idea,  a  good, 
middle-sized  "  kingdom."  It  must  have  been  an  inter- 
esting life  in  Nauvoo  ;  it  might  look  very  "celestial"  to 
the  Mormon  leaders,  but  it  looks  like  a  beastly  pandemon- 
ium to  a  stupid  Gentile.  Policeman  Lee  takes  nine  wives 
in  a  twelvemonth!  "Joseph  never  had  any  other  wife 
except  me,"  says  Sister  Emma  on  her  death-bed  !  "  The 
Prophet  Joseph  had  eighty,  a  hundred,  or  more,  wives 
sealed  to  him,"  says  one  of  our  witnesses  !  "  Polygamy — 
touch  it,  and  you  trample  upon  our  religious  rights  guar- 
anteed to  us  by  the  Constitution,"  shout  Mormon  men 
and  women,  in  grand  chorus  ! 

Lee  says  (p.  167)  :  "  Plural  marriages  were  not  wiade 
public.  They  had  to  be  kept  still.  A  young  man  did  not 


Danite  Lee   Guards  Danite  Brigham.  113 

know  when  he  was  talking  to  a  single  woman.  As  far  as 
Brigham  Young  was  concerned,  he  had  no  wives  at  his 
house,  except  his  first  wife,  or  the  one  that  he  said  was  his 
first  wife.  Many  a  night  have  I  gone  with  him,  arm  in 
arm,  and  guarded  him  while  he  spent  an  hour  or  two  with 
his  young  brides,  then  guarded  him  home  and  guarded 
his  house  until  one  o'clock,  when  I  was  relieved." 

But  to  return  to  Hyrum  Smith.  Mrs.  Sarah  Pratt  says 
of  him  :  "  He  was  smarter  than  Joseph,  always  inclined 
to  mercy,  no  drinker,  and  a  tolerable  speaker.  He  liked 
good  horses  and  was  a  good  rider."  Another  witness 
says  :  "  Hyrum  was  rather  reticent  and  dignified,  en- 
tirely different  from  Joseph  in  his  disposition.  Joseph 
and  Hyrum  loved  each  other  very  much  and  had  great 
confidence  in  each  other."  A  third  witness  states: 
"  Hyrum  was  gentlemanlike  in  appearance  and  manners  : 
he  was  a  great  fanatic  in  Mormonism,  but  had  more 
general  knowledge  than  Joseph." 

The  following  letter,  dated  February  15,  1844 — a  year 
after  Wm.  Clayton's  walk  with  the  prophet — shows  clearly 
that  Hyrum  Smith  was  a  full-grown  Jesuit.  He  lies 
directly  and  horribly  about  polygamy  in  Nauvoo,  and  then 
proceeds  to  instruct  the  elders  to  teach  nothing  but  the 
"first  principles"  of  the  gospel,  faith  in  Jesus  Christ,  bap- 
tism for  the  remission  of  sins,  etc.,  all  the  sweet  things 
called  "  milk  for  babies  "  from  the  pulpit,  while  polygamy, 
Danitism,  treasonable  endowments,  blind  obedience  to  the 
priesthood,  etc.,  the  "meat  for  strongmen"  are  preached 
and  practiced  secretly  for  the  benefit  of  the  prophet  and 
his  next  friends.  All  those  things  are  holy  mysteries  to  be 
taught  when  the  fools  are  fixed  and  gathered  to  Zion.  The 
same  dodge  has  always  been  used  on  the  outside  and  is 
used  to-day  by  the  missionaries  everywhere.  Here  is  Hy- 
rum's  letter,  copied  from  page  474  of  the  Times  and  Sea- 
sons : 

NAUVOO,  March  15,  1844. 

To  the  Brethren  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day  Saints, 
living  on  China  Creek,  Hancock  Co.,  Greeting : — WHEREAS,  Brother 
Richard  Hewitt  has  called  upon  me  to-day,  to  know  my  views  concern- 
ing some  doctrines  that  are  preached  in  your  place,  and  states  to  me  that 


H4  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

some  of  your  elders  say  that  a  man  having  a  certain  priesthood  may 
have  as  many  wives  as  he  pleases,  and  that  doctrine  is  taught  here :  I 
say  unto  you  that  that  man  teaches  FALSE  DOCTRINE,  for  there  is  no 
such  doctrine  taught  here  ;  neither  is  there  any  stick  thing  practiced 
here.  And  any  man  that  is  found  teaching  privately  or  publicly  any 
such  doctrine,  is  culpable,  and  will  stand  a  chance  to  be  brought  before 
the  High  Council  and  lose  his  license  and  membership  also  :  There- 
fore, he  had  better  beware  what  he  is  about. 

And  again  I  say  unto  you,  an  elder  has  NO  BUSINESS  to  undertake 
to  PREACH  MYSTERIES  in  any  part  of  the  world,  for  God  has  com- 
manded us  all  to  preach  NOTHING  BUT  THE  FIRST  PRINCIPLES  unto 
the  world.  Neither  has  any  elder  any  authority  to  preach  any  myste- 
rious thing  to  any  branch  of  the  church,  unless  he  has  a  direct  command- 
ment from  God  to  do  so.  Let  the  matter  of  the  grand  councils  of 
heaven,  and  the  making  of  Gods,  worlds,  and  devils  entirely  alone : 
for  you  are  not  called  to  teach  any  such  doctrine — -for  neither  you  nor 
the  people  are  capacitated  to  understand  any  such  principles — less  so  to 
teach  them.  For  when  God  commands  men  to  teach  such  principles 
the  Saints  will  receive  them.  Therefore,  beware  what  you  teach !  for 
the  mysteries  of  God  are  not  given  to  all  men ;  and  unto  those  to 
whom  they  are  given  they  are  placed  under  restrictions  to  impart  only 
such  as  God  will  command  them ;  and  the  residue  is  to  be  kept  in  a 
faithful  breast,  otherwise  he  will  be  brought  under  condemnation.  By 
this  God  will  prove  his  faithful  servants  who  will  be  called  and  num- 
bered with  the  chosen. 

And  as  to  the  celestial  glory,  all  will  enter  in  and  possess  that 
Kingdom  that  obey  the  gospel,  and  continue  in  faith  in  the  Lord  unto 
the  end  of  his  days.  Now,  therefore,  I  say  unto  you,  you  must  cease 
preaching  your  miraculous  things,  and  let  the  mysteries  alone  until 
bye  and  bye.  Preach  faith  in  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ ;  repentance  and 
baptism  for  the  remission  of  sins  ;  the  laying  on  of  hands  for  the  gift 
of  the  Holy  Ghost ;  teaching  the  necessity  of  strict  obedience  unto 
these  principles ;  reasoning  out  of  the  Scriptures ;  proving  them  unto 
the  people.  Cease  your  schisms  and  divisions  and  your  contentions. 
Humble  yourselves  as  in  dust  and  ashes,  lest  God  should  make  you  an 
ensample  of  his  wrath  unto  the  surrounding  world.  Amen. 

In  the  bonds  of  the  everlasting  covenant,  I  am, 

Your  obedient  servant, 

HYRUM  SMITH. 

I  don't  know,  but  this  letter  seems  to  me  one  of  the 
most  meaty  little  documents  in  the  history  of  Mormon- 
dorn.  Talk  of  the  sincerity  of  those  sleek  chaps  !  They 
seal  and  get  sealed,  right  and  left,  that  it  seems  a  sort  of 
regular  exercise  for  them,  as  playing  at  skittles  is  for  pleth- 
oric gentlemen — but  there  is  not  "  ANY  such  thing  practiced 
here!"  The  mysteries  are  for  Joe,  Hyrum,  Kimball, 


Making  Gods,   Worlds  and  Devils.  115 

Brigham,  policeman  Lee  and  other  "chosen"  ones,  po- 
licemen or  not;  they  are  the  Lord's  confidential  employes 
in  the  department  for  "  the  making  of  Gods,  worlds  and 
devils  " — for  it  seems  they  make  devils  too  :  I  take  this  as 
a  delicate  allusion  to  the  swearing  in  of  Danites  and 
Destroying  Angels.  "The  making  of  Gods,  worlds  and 
devils  !  "  Am  I  not  right  in  saying  that  they  are  a  set  of 
infernal  scoundrels,  but  at  the  same  time  immensely 
.funny? 

When  Aminadab  writes  this  at  once  rascally  and  non- 
sensical piece  of  a  Jesuitical  denial,  he  is  over  head  and 
ears  in  polygamy  himself.  We  have  seen  him  on  July 
12,  1843,  using  all  his  influence  with  Joe  to  make  him 
write  the  revelation.  At  or  about  this  time  the  saintly 
Hyrum  gets  sealed  to  his  own  sister-in-law,  a  widow, 
apparently  a  good,  simple  soul  of  the  type  of  the  old 
spinster  who  gives  fifteen  hundred  dollars  to  Joseph  in 
Kirtland.  She  is  yet  alive,  poor  soul,  over  eighty  years 
old  and  has  only  recently*  published  her  little  sealing 
story  in  the  church  organ.  This  is  so  characteristic  that 
I  cannot  help  inserting  it  here.  It  is  directed  to  Joseph 
Smith,  son  of  the  prophet,  and  president  of  the  reorgan- 
ized Mormon  church,  which  denies  Joseph's  having  been 
a  polygamist : 

"  After  having  asked  my  Father  in  heaven  to  aid  me,  I  sit  down  to 
write  a  few  lines  as  dictated  by  the  Holy  Spirit.  My  beloved  husband, 
R.  B.  Thompson,  your  father's  [the  Prophet's]  private  secretary  to  the 
end  of  his  mortal  life,  died  August  27,  1841.  Nearly  two  years  after 
his  death  your  father  [the  prophet]  told  me  that  my  husband  had 
appeared  to  him  several  times,  telling  him  that  he  did  not  wish  me  to 
live  such  a  lonely  life  and  wished  him  to  request  your  uncle  Hyrum  to 
have  me  sealed  to  him  for  time.  Hyrum  communicated  this  to  his 
wife  (my  sister),  who,  by  request,  opened  the  subject  to  me,  when 
everything  within  me  rose  in  opposition  to  such  a  step ;  but  when  your 
father  [the  prophet]  called  and  explained  the  subject  to  me,  I  dared 
not  refuse  to  obey  the  counsel,  lest,  peradventure,  I  should  be  found 
fighting  against  God ;  and  especially  when  he  told  me  the  last  time  my 
husband  appeared  to  him,  he  came  with  such  power ,  that  it  made  him 
tremble." 

A   very   pretty  novel.     Hyrum  likes   the   widow,    so 
*  Deseret  News,  February  6.  1886. 


,n 6  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Joseph  has  to  get  a  dream,  and  then  not  Hyrum,  but  Mrs. 
Hyrum  has  to  do  the  wooing.  Mrs.  Hyrum  obeys  coun- 
sel, but  Mrs.  Thompson  hesitates,  so  Joseph  has  to  labor 
with  her  personally,  and  he  does  so,  fortified  by  the 
remembrance  of  that  bleeding  Spaniard.  I  see  him  sitting 
with  Mrs.  Thompson  and  telling  her,  with  what  power  the 
spirit  of  poor  Mr.  Thompson  came  to  him,  so  that  he 
made  even  a  prophet  tremble  and  shake ;  and  I  see  poor 
Mrs.  Thompson  listening  with  wide-open  eyes.  The  fix- 
ing moment  for  the  fools  has  arrived  : 

"  He  [Joseph]  then  inquired  of  the  Lord  what  he  should  do ;  the 
answer  was,  '  Go  and  do  as  my  servant  [the  late  lamented  Mr.  Thomp- 
son] has  required.'  Joseph  then  took  an  opportunity  of  communicat- 
ing this  to  your  uncle  Hyrum,  who  told  me  that  the  Holy  Spirit  rested 
upon  him  [Joseph]  from  the  crown  of  his  head  to  the  soles  of  his 
feet." 

This  little  passage  proves  clearer  than  anything  that 
the  force  of  Mormonism  lies  in  the  superstition  of  simple 
souls,  the  devotion  of  loving  hearts,  the  best  instincts  and 
purest  virtues  of  womanhood.  Mrs.  Thompson  cannot 
resist  the  command  of  a  man  who  is  steeped  in  Holy  Ghost 
as  Achilles  was  in  Lethe  water.  So  the  sealing  humbug  gets 
performed  : 

"  The  time  was  appointed  with  the  consent  of  all  parties,  and  your 
father  [the  prophet]  sealed  me  to  your  uncle  [Hyrum]  for  time,  in  my 
sister's  [Mrs.  Hyrum's]  room,  with  a  covenant  to  deliver  me  up  in  the 
morning  of  the  resurrection  to  Robert  Blaskel  Thompson,  with  what- 
ever offspring  should  be  the  result  of  that  tmion,  and  I  remained  his 
wife,  the  same  as  my  sister,  to  the  day  of  his  death. 

[Signed,]  MERCY  R.  THOMPSON. 
Oh,  you  lucky  dog  of  a  Blaskel,  won't  you  jump  for 
joy  when  Hyrum,  the  martyred  patriarch,  steps  up  in  the 
morning  of  the  resurrection  and  hands  the  old  woman 
over  to  you,  Blaskel,  with  a  pair  of  kids!  "I  had  her 
for  time,  Blaskel/'  will  he  say,  with  a  voice  vibrating  with 
Pecksniff  emotion  :  "  I  would  have  kept  her  longer  and 
the  offspring  would  be  more  satisfactory  as  to  number,  if 
the  hellish  mob  hadn't  shot  me  at  Carthage.  But  never 
mind,  Blaskel,  she  is  now  yours  for  all  eternity ;  take  her. 
By  the  way,  let  me  introduce  you  to  the  Lord  who  sits 
yonder  chatting  with  David  Patten,  our  first  martyr." 


An   Oily  Apostolic  Rascal.  117 

William  Smith,  who  became  an  apostle  of  the  church, 
was  a  horrible  character.  Drinking,  fighting,  and  ruining 
virtuous  females  by  the  wholesale,  were  his  saint-like 
occupations.  He  was  the  chief  manager  of  the  organized 
system  of  horse  and  cattle  stealing  constantly  practiced 
on  the  "Gentile"  neighborhood  of  the  Mormon  settle- 
ments, and  in  the  distribution  of  counterfeit  money. 
You  might  call  him  a  professor  of  the  art  of  "milking 
the  Gentiles. ' '  He  is  yet  alive,  if  I  am  not  mistaken ; 
and  more  pious  than  ever.  I  have  a  very  oily  little 
pamphlet,  written  by  him,  about  the  origin  of  the  Book 
of  Mormon.  *  He  shows  in  it  that  he  can  lie  to  perfec- 
tion, just  like  old  Mother  Smith  and  Joe.  The  little 
book  contains  a  pretty  good  likeness  of  Lucy  Smith, 
the  mother  of  so  many  holy  men.  She  looks  just  like 
her  bookf  on  Joseph,  the  prophet. 


PRESIDENT  SIDNEY  RIGDON. 


Joseph  a  Magnet — Rigdon  the  real  Inventor  of  Mormonism — 
Frightful  Accident  with  the  Keys  of  the  Kingdom — 
Joseph  the  Wrestler  and  Rigdon  the  Craw- Fish — Nan- 
cy Rigdon —  Criminal  Masonry — A  Hundred  Thousand 
Dollars  in  Gold — Sidney  Predicts  Joseph  in  the  Bible — 
Sad  End  of  the  First  Mormon  Fanatic. 


It  becomes  now  our  duty  to  have  a  little  chat  about 
Joseph's  friends.  The  prophet  was  a  magnet  of  the  great- 
est force  for  all  kinds  of  adventurers,  for  "  Catilinarian 
existences,"  as  Prince  Bismarck  would  say.  Already,  when 
a  boy  in  Palmyra  and  Manchester,  he  was  captain  of  a 

*  Published  in  Lamoni,  Iowa,  1883. 

t  By  a  bull  from  Pope  Brigham  this  very  edifying  little  volume 
was  ordered  to  be  destroyed.  In  Yankee  slang,  it  unwittingly  let  too 
many  cats  out  of  the  Mormon  bag. 


n8  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

band  of  vagabonds,  petty  thieves  and  swindlers,  and  lived 
with  them  on  the  credulity  and  cupidity  of  the  neighbor- 
hood. To  live  on  the  spoils  of  dupes  became  the  princi- 
ple of  his  life.  Men  broken  in  business,  others  with  half 
education  and  spoiled  reputations,  reckless  fortune-seekers 
ready  to  embark  in  any  scheme  that  would  feed  and  clothe 
them — all  were  welcome  to  join  the  new  gospel,  but  under 
condition  to  obey  counsel,  that  is,  to  become  slaves  of 
Joseph,  and  to  be,  heart  and  soul,  professors  of  the  great 
fundamental  imposture,  the  lie  about  the  golden  plates, 
the  apparitions  of  angels,  etc. 

Sidney  Rigdon,  a  farmer's  son,  and  tanner  by  trade, 
later  a  Campbellite  preacher,  had  three  prominent  qualities: 
i.  He  was  half  illiterate  ;  no  education  is  better  than 
half  a  one.  2.  He  was  a  fanatic:  theocracy,  community 
of  goods,  spiritual  wifery  (marrying  for  eternity)  were  his 
chief  hobbies.  3.  He  was  entirely  unprincipled :  any 
means  that  would  lead  him  to  a  position  of  ease  and 
importance,  were  wrelcome.  So  constituted,  having 
obtained  possession  of  Spaulding' s  "Manuscript  Found,"  he 
got  Smith  to  publish  it.  The  Mormon  leaders  try  to  ridi- 
cule the  "  Spaulding  romance;"  but  if  anything  is  proved 
in  history,  the  story  of  the  conversion  of  Spaulding' s 
"Manuscript  Found"  into  the  Book  of  Mormon  is  proved. 
Sidney  having  very  litth  education  and  Smith  none  at  all, 
the  imposture  turned  out  a  very  clumsy  one.  But  it  is 
clever  enough  for  the  kind  of  proselytes  the  Mormon  mis- 
sionaries angle  for,  foreign  peasants  and  the  poorest  ele- 
ments of  manufacturing  towns.  It  is  always  to  be  remem- 
bered that  the  missionaries  do  not  hold  out  the  "  Book  of 
Mormon,"  but  bait  their  hooks  with  the  "gospel  of  Christ," 
with  "purity,  love,  brotherhood,"  etc.  The  Book  of 
Mormon  was  originally  the  work  of  a  dullard,  and  i 
not  and  will  never  be  anything  but  a  stupid,  tasteless, 
ridiculous  travesty  of  the  Bible,  the  most  somniferous  of  all 
existing  books. 

Sidney  was  the  most  self-conceited  crank  of  the  cen- 
tury. He  was  a  coarse,  ready,  gabbling  speaker,  with 
some  slight,  very  slight  pretensions  as  a  writer,  on  Bible 
themes ;  but,  as  one  who  knew  him  well  said  of  him,  was 


"Build  Me  a  New  House."  119 

"wholly  lacking  in  the  moral  make-up"  His  picture 
reminds  me  of  some  ancient,  seedy,  half-dazed  Israelite, 
with  a  strong  admixture  of  the  Jesuit.  But  the  only  pic- 
ture I  have  seen  of  him  was  taken  in  later  life.  Sidney 
used  to  say  he  had  suffered  ten  times  as  much  as  Jesus 
Christ.  But  the  great  martyr  liked  fine  clothes,  gold 
watches,  and  good  comfortable  houses.  He  made  his 
dupes  provide  him  with  all  these  luxuries;  if  they  hesitat- 
ed, he  threatened  that  the  "  Ke*ys  "  would  be  taken  away 
from  the  church. 

A  day  or  two  after  the  tarring  and  feathering  of  "  my 
servants  Sidney  and  Joseph"  in  Hiram,  Ohio,  March  25, 
1832,  the  "Keys  of  the  Kingdom"  are  taken  in  earnest 
from  the  church  by  my  servant  Sidney.  Let  me  give  a 
page  here  from  old  Lucy's  inimitable  chronicle : 

"  Immediately  after  Sidney's  arrival,  we  met  for  the  purpose  of 
holding  a  prayer  meeting,  and,  as  Sidney  had  not  been  with  us  for 
some  time,  we  hoped  to  hear  from  him  upon  this  occasion.  We  waited 
a  long  time  before  he  made  his  appearance ;  at  last  he  came  in,  seem- 
ingly much  agitated.  He  did  not  go  to  the  stand,  but  began  to  pace 
back  and  forth  through  the  house.  My  husband  said  :  «  Brother  Sid- 
ney, we  would  like  to  hear  a  discourse  from  you  to-day.'  Rigdon 
replied  in  a  tone  of  excitement :  '  The  Keys  of  the  Kingdom  are  rent 
from  the  church,  and  there  shall  not  be  a  prayer  put  up  in  this  house 
to-day.'  '  Oh !  no,'  said  Mr.  Smith,  'I  hope  not.'  '  I  tell  you  they  are? 
rejoined  Elder  Rigdon,  *  and  no  man  or  woman  shall  put  up  a  prayer 
in  this  place  to-day.'  This  greatly  disturbed  the  minds  of  many  sisters 
and  some  brethren.  The  brethren  stared  and  turned  pale  and  the  sisters 
cried ;  sister  Howe,  in  particular,  was  very  much  terrified.  *  Oh,  dear 
me  ! '  said  she,  '  what  shall  we  do  ?  What  shall  we  do  ?  The  Keys  of 
the  Kingdom  are  taken  from  us,  and  what  shall  we  do  ?  '  'I  tell  you 
again,'  said  Sidney,  with  much  feeling,  '  the  Keys  of  the  Kingdom  are 
taken  from  you,  and  you  never  will  have  them  again  until  you  build 
me  a  new  house.'1  " 

This  is  a  delightful  little  scene.  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Micaw- 
ber  Smith  are  excited  ;  Mrs.  Gummidge  Howe  weeps  over 
the  lost  Keys,  and  Sidney,  (who  is  still  smarting  from  the 
tar  and  feathers,  and  mad  because  his  dupes  bave  not  pro- 
vided him  a  suitable  private  residence  in  Kirtland)  crushes 
all  those  weak  creatures  with  the  "firmness"  of  a  Murd- 
stone.  A  new  house,  or  the  Keys  are  gone !  O  those 
wonderful  Keys  in  Mormonism  ! 


120  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

The  situation  is  critical.  Brother  Hyrum  jumps  on 
horseback  to  fetch  the  prophet  from  Hiram,  where  Rigdon 
and  Joe  have  been  translating  and  revelating.  Joseph 
comes  at  once,  and  puts  things  in  order.  "I  myself," 
says  he,  "hold  the  keys  of  this  last  dispensation,  and  will 
forever  hold  them,  both  in  time  and  eternity ;  so  set  your 
hearts  at  rest  upon  that  point;  all  is  right."  Sister  Howe 
could  breathe  again,  the  Keys  were  not  lost.  Sidney  was 
duly  disciplined,  and  even  permitted  his  license  to  be 
taken  from  him  "for  having  lied  in  the  name  of  the 
Lord."  My  servant  Sidney  had  opened  his  foaming 
mouth  too  wide,  and  had  incontinently  put  his  foot  in  it  ! 
Nor  was  this  all.  "  He  had  to  suffer  for  his  folly,"  says 
old  Lucy,  "  for,  according  to  his  own  account,  he  was 
dragged  out  of  bed  by  the  devil,  three  times  in  one  night, 
by  his  heels." 

Comedies  of  Errors  in  that  kind  were  by  no  means 
rare  between  Joseph  and  his  Mentor.  Sidney,  twelve 
years  Joseph's  senior,  tried  to  play  the  first  violin  now 
and  again,  but  Joseph  always  put  him  back  among  the 
common  fiddlers  of  his  gospel  orchestra.  John  D.  Lee 
tells  a  very  lively  and  amusing  story  of  "  a  tussle  between 
the  prophet  and  his  mouthpiece,"  which  happened  in  the 
"war"  between  Missourians  and  Mormons,  in  1838. 

"During  the  time  that  we  were  camping  at  Adam- 
ondi-Ahman  the  men  were  shivering  over  a  few  fire- 
brands, feeling  out  of  sorts  and  quite  cast  down.  The 
prophet  came  up  while  the  brethren  were  moping  around, 
and  caught  first  one  of  them  and  then  another  and  shook 
them  up  and  said  :  '  Get  out  of  here  and  wrestle,  jump, 
run,  do  anything  but  mope  around,  warm  yourselves  up; 
this  inactivity  will  not  do  for  soldiers.'  The  words  of  the 
prophet  put  life  and  energy  into  the  men.  A  ring  was 
soon  formed.  The  prophet  stepped  into  the  ring,  ready 
for  a  tussle  with  any  comer.  Several  went  into  the  ring 
to  try  their  strength,  but  each  one  was  thrown  by  the 
prophet,  until  he  had  thrown  several  of  ihe  stoutest  of  the 
men  present.  Then  he  stepped  out  of  the  ring  and  took 
a  man  by  the  arm  and  led  him  to  take  his  place,  and  so  it 
continued,  the  men  who  were  thrown  retiring  in  favor  of 


Joseph  Pitches  Into  His  Mouthpiece.  121 

the  successful  one:  While  the  sport  was  at  its  height, 
Sidney  Rigdon,  the  mouthpiece  of  the  prophet,  rushed 
into  the  ring,  sword  in  hand,  and  said  that  he  would  not 
surfer  a  lot  of  men  to  break  the  Sabbath  day  in  that 
manner.  For  a  moment  all  were  silent,  then  one  of  the 
brethren,  with  more  presence  of  mind  than  the  others, 
said  to  the  prophet:  'Brother  Joseph,  we  want  you  to 
clear  us  from  blame,  for  we  formed  the  ring  by  your 
request.  You  told  us  to  wrestle,  and  now  Brother  Rigdon 
is  bringing  us  to  account  for  it.' 

"The  prophet  walked  into  the  ring  and  said,  as  he 
made  a  motion  with  his  hand  :  '  Brother  Sidney,  you  had 
better  go  out  of  here  and  let  the  boys  alone ;  they  are 
amusing  themselves  according  to  my  orders.  You  are  an 
old  man.  You  go  and  get  ready  for  meeting,  and  let  the 
boys  alone.'  Just  then,  catching  Rigdon  off  his  guard, 
as  quick  as  a  flash  he  knocked  the  sword  from  Rigdon 's 
hand,  then  caught  him  by  the  shoulder  and  said  :  '  Now, 
old  man,  you  must  go  out,  or  I  will  throw  you  down.' 
Rigdon  was  as  large  a  man  as  the  prophet,  but  not  so  tall. 
The  prospect  of  a  tussle  between  the  prophet  and  his- 
mouthpiece  was  fun  for  all  but  Rigdon,  who  pulled  back 
like  a  craw-fish ;  but  the  resistance  was  useless,  the 
prophet  dragged  him  from  the  ring,  bareheaded,  and  tore 
his  fine  pulpit  coat  from  the  collar  to  the  waist.  Then  he 
turned  to  the  men  and  said:  '  Go  in,  boys,  and  have  your 
fun.  You  shall  never  have  it  to  say  that  I  got  you  into 
any  trouble  that  I  did  not  get  you  out  of.'  Rigdon  com- 
plained about  the  loss  of  his  hat  and  the  tearing  of  his 
coat.  Joseph  said  to  him  :  '  You  were  out  of  your  place. 
Always  keep  your  place  and  you  will  not  suffer.  You 
have  no  one  to  blame  but  yourself.'  After  that  Rigdon 
never  countermanded  the  orders  of  the  prophet  — he  knew 
who  was  boss" 

This  is  surely  as  good  a  portrait  of  the  two  impostors 
as  was  ever  drawn.  As  to  Rigdon 's  personal  appearance, 
my  witnesses  tell  me  that  he  was  rather  good-looking  and 
"gentlemanly"  in  his  ways;  of  stoutish  build.  He  had 
a  pretty  and  charming  wife.  Nancy,  his  daughter,  was  an 
attractive,  good  girl,  like  her  sisters ;  their  mother  had 


122  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

given  them  a  good  education.  Joseph  took  a  fancy  to 
Nancy.  He  got  her  to  that  "  often  engaged"  room, 
where  he  tried  to  make  of  Martha  Brotherton,  a  hand- 
some, high-strung  English  girl,  one  of  the  concubines  of 
the  inner  circle  of  the  priesthood,  (See  the  most  dra- 
matic account  of  Martha  in  the  Documents  at  the  end  of 
Part  I.) 

Nancy,  that  stubborn  wretch,  refused  to  be  sealed  to 
the  man  who  tried  to  make  prostitutes  of  all  the  wives 
and  daughters  of  his  friends.  The  story  of  his  attempt 
upon  her  virtue  made  a  great  noise  in  Nauvoo  :  read  the 
very  graphic  account  of  it  in  Bennett's  book.  Sidney, 
while  in  Nauvoo,  had  become  a  sedate  man  of  about  fifty 
years.  He  liked  spiritual  wifery,  but  in  a  discreet  way, 
you  see,  and  he  felt  that  Joseph  was  doing  things  too 
boisterously  and  that  it  would  lead  them  all  to  the  dem- 
nition  bow-wows,  so  to  speak.  And  as  to  giving  away  his 
own  daughter,  he  objected  to  that,  of  course,  although  he 
liked  a  little  frolicking  with  other  people's  daughters  well 
enough. 

As  a  speaker  Rigdon  outdid  Joseph  by  far.  He 
spoke  very  rapidly,  and  used  to  get  tremendously  ex- 
cited, so  that  he  foamed  at  the  mouth.  Jedediah  Grant 
became  in  Utah  his  successor  in  this  beastly  fury. 

As  a  good  specimen  of  Rigdon's  chaste  pulpit  style, 
which  I  find  emulated  by  Joe,  Brigham,  Heber  C.  Kimball, 
^' Jeddy "  Grant,  John  Taylor,  and  the  lesser  Mormon 
lights,  take  the  following  passage  from  Rigdon's  Con- 
ference speech,  April  6,  1844,  as  given  in  the  Times  and 
Seasons,  p.  524:  "I  want  devils  to  gratify  themselves; 
and  if  howling,  yelping,  yelling  will  do  you  any  good, 
do  it  till  you  are  all  damned.  If  calling  us  devils,  etc., 
will  do  you  any  good,  let  us  have  the  whole  of  it,  and 
you  can  then  go  on  your  own  way  to  hell  without  a 
grunt."  And  this  set  of  piratical  ruffians,  not  content 
with  calling  themselves  a  "church,"  want  to  be  church 
and  State  in  one.  Says  Rigdon  in  the  same  speech, 
"When  God  sets  up  a  system  of  salvation,  he  sets  up  a 
system  of  government  \  when  I  speak  of  a  government,  I 
mean  what  I  say,  I  mean  a  government  that  shall  rule 


Mormonism  in  a  Nutshell.  123 

over  TEMPORAL  and  spiritual  affairs.  Every  man  is  a 
government  of  himself,  and  infringes  on  no  government. 
A  man  is  not  an  honorable  man  if  he  is  not  above  all  law 
and  above  government.  THE  LAWS  OF  GOD  ARE  FAR  AKOVE 
THE  LAWS  OF  THE  LAND."  Here  you  have  Mormonism  in 
a  nutshell,  statesmen  and  students  of  the  Mormon  prob- 
lem, fresh  from  the  lips  of  its  real  founder. 

Rigdon  was  the  heart  and  soul  of  Mormonism  in  the 
first  time.  It  was  with  religion  just  as  with  the  Kirtland 
bank — Rigdon  was  president  and  Joseph  cashier.  In 
Nauvoo  there  came  a  great  change.  Mormonism  gave  up 
the  strictly  Scriptural  dodge  and  turned  from  the  parody 
of  Bible  to  a  travesty  of  Masonry,  which  is  the  little  un- 
derstood key  of  Mormonism  in  its  present  state.  "  Mor- 
monism is  nothing  but  CRIMINAL  MASONRY,"  said  to  me 
one  of  my  most  thoroughly  informed  witnesses.  As  long 
as  this  feature,  represented  in  the  secret  endowments,  is 
not  understood,  Mormonism  will  continue  to  be  a  riddle 
to  the  world. 

Joseph  outgrew  Rigdon  in  Nauvoo  and  put  him  on  the 
shelf.  Rigdon  was  great  with  his  tongue,  but  he  lacked 
Joseph's  verve  and  brigand  daring.  After  Joseph's  death 
Brigham,  who  was  a  born  bandit,  and  wore,  as  he  often 
preached  in  Salt  Lake,  a  bosom  pin  in  Nauvoo,  meaning 
a  big  bowie  knife — Brigham  put  Rigdon,  the  foaming 
pulpit  hero,  easily  out  of  the  field.  He  was  kept  quiet 
with  a  pension  and  threatened  with  Danite  vengeance  if 
he  ever  split.  But  he  mumbled  a  little,  anyhow,  just 
enough  to  give  away  the  whole  thing.  After  leaving 
Nauvoo  he  told  James  Jeffries  in  St.  Louis  that  he  had 
taken  Spaulding's  manuscript  and  given  it  to  Joseph 
Smith  to  publish.  From  that  time — 1844  —  UP  to  n^s 
death,  Mormon  gold  kept  him  quiet,  just  as  it  did  in  the 
cases  of  publisher  Howe  and  "Dr."  Hurlbut,  who  got 
the  MS.  of  Spaulding's  "  Manuscript  Found  "  from 
Spaulding's  widow  and  sold  out  to  the  Mormon  leaders. 

Sidney  died  in  Pennsylvania  in  1876,  aged  83,  a  no- 
body, and  a  confirmed  infidel.  He  was  wont  to  declare, 
when  near  his  end,  "  If  I  had  ten  years  more  of  vigorous 
life  I  would  overthrow  all  religions." 


124  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

One  more  anecdote  of  him.  At  the  time  when 
through  the  zeal  of  noble  Judge  McKean,  the  Utah 
kingdom  seemed  about  to  collapse,  Sidney  wrote  to 
Brigham  that  he  would  save  the  church  if  Brigham  would 
give  him  one  hundred  thousand  dollars  in  gold.  Brigham 
was  sick  when  the  letter  came.  When  he  got  better  it 
was  read  to  him.  Rolling  over  in  his  bed  slowly  he 
drawled  out:  "  /  wonder  if  Sidney  wouldn't  take  one 
hundred  thousand  dollars  in  greenbacks  ?  "  I  have  this 
delightful  little  story  from  an  ex-Mormon,  who  used  to  be 
at  home  at  the  "  Lion  House." 

Let  me  conclude  this  Rigdon  chapter  with  a  little 
novel  of  mine.  It  was  in  June,  1830.  Joe  and  Rigdon, 
his  "Director,"  were  sitting  in  some  log  cabin.  The 
Book  of  Mormon  was  printed,  the  church  founded.  Joe 
felt  good  as  new-established  prophet.  "  That  is  all  very 
well,"  said  Sidney,  "but  all  is  not  yet  done.  We  must 
get  the  old  Bible  to  predict  you,  Joe,  your  father  and  the 
Book  of  Mormon.  Do  you  catch  on,  Joe?"  The  pro- 
phet opened  his  eyes  wide.  "  Splendid  idea,  old  fellow," 
says  he,  "But  how  can  you  manage  this  new  trick?" 
Says  Sidney :  "  Didn't  I  create  a  whole  new  Bible  out  of 
that  stuff  of  old  crank  Spaulding  ?  Just  let  me  sit  down 
for  a  while  and  I  shall  make  blush  all  those  old  prophets, 
tajte  my  word  for  it,  Joe,  old  boy." 

And  Sidney  sat  down 'in  July,  1830,  and  the  "  inspired 
translation  and  correction"  of  the  good  old  Bible  was 
finished  in  Julv,  1833.  "  It  was  all  in  the  hand-writing  of 
Sidney  Rigdon,"  said  Mr.  Blair,  the  careful  editor  of  Sid- 
ney's Bible,  to  my  friend  Cobb ;  and  Cobb  said  gravely, 
"  Oh,  thank  you,  much  obliged."  Friend  C.  is  always  much 
obliged  when  interesting  people  give  themselves  away,  you 
see.  Are  they  not  a  set  of  funny  knaves,  Sidney,  Joe  and 
the  rest  of  them  ?  They  translate  everything.  It  would 
have  been  the  easiest  thing  in  the  world  for  them  to  give 
us  a  new  Homer,  and  prove  that  Achilles  shot  Hector  with 
a  cavalry  pistol  and  that  fair  Helen  was  Paris's  spiritual 
wife  ! 

But  look  at  Rigdon,  the  inspired  translator  and  correc- 
tor of  the  Bible  : 


The  Bible  Predicts  the  Whole   Outfit.  125 

BIBLE  (King  James  translation)  : 

And  Joseph  said  unto  his  brethren,  I  die  :  and  God  will  surely  visit 
you  and  bring  you  out  of  this  land  unto  the  land  which  He  sware  unto 
Abraham,  Isaac  and  Jacob.  (Genesis,  L.,  24.) 

THE  HOLY  SCRIPTURES,  TRANSLATED  AND  CORRECTED 
by  the  Spirit  of  Revelation,  by  Joseph  Smith,  Jr.,  the  Seer  : 

"  And  Joseph  saith  unto  his  Brethren,  I  die  and  go  unto  my 
fathers ;  and  I  go  down  to  my  grave  with  joy  ....  and  it  shall  come 
to  pass  that  they  (my  people)  shall  be  scattered  again;  and  a  branch 
shall  be  broken  off,  and  shall  be  carried  into  a  far  country  [America]  ; 
nevertheless  they  shall  be  remembered  in  the  covenants  of  the  Lord, 
when  the  Messiah  cometh  ;  for  he  shall  be  made  manifest  unto  them 
in  the  LATTER  DAYS  ....  A  seer  shall  the  Lord  my  God  raise  up, 
who  shall  be  a  choice  seer  unto  the  fruit  of  my  loins  .  .  .  .,  and  that 
seer  [Mr.  Joseph  Smith,  Jr.,]  will  I  bless,  and  they  that  seek  to  destroy 
him  shall  be  confounded ;  and  hh  name  shall  be  CALLED  JOSEPH,  and 
it  shall  be  AFTER  THE  NAME  OF  His  FATHER  [Mr.  Joseph  Smith,  Sr.] 
....  The  thing  which  the  Lord  shall  bring  forth  by  his  [General 
Joseph  Smith's]  hand  shall  bring  my  people  unto  salvation." 

They  are  all  predicted,  you  see,  old  Micawber-Smith, 
and  the  Lieutenant-General,  his  son.  It 's  a  pity  they 
didn't  predict  Eliza  and  the  broomstick,  the  log  by  the 
river,  and  Charlie,  the  family  horse.  But  this  is  not  all. 
Joseph's  or  rather  Sidney  Rigdon's  inspired  "  correction" 
of  the  Bible  predicts  also  the  Book  of  Mormon,  and  not 
only  Joseph  Senior  and  Joseph  Junior.  Look  at  the  pro- 
phecies of  Isaiah  XXIX.,  and  compare  them  with  the  new 
inspired  additions  : 

"And  it  shall  come  to  pass  that  the  Lord  God  shall  bring  forth 
unto  you  the  words  of  a  BOOK  ....  and  the  book  shall  be  a  revela- 
tion from  God,  from  the  beginning  of  the  world  to  the  ending  thereof 
....  The  eyes  of  none  shall  behold  it,  save  it  be  that  THREE  WIT- 
NESSES shall  behold  it  by  the  power  of  God  [Messrs.  Martin  Harris, 
Oliver  Cowdery  and  David  Whitmer]  ;  and  they  shall  certify  to  the 
truth  of  the  book  and  the  things  therein.  And  woe  be  unto  him  that 
rejecteth  the  word  of£k>d  .  .  .  ." 

I  have  given  enough  of  this  woeful  stuff  to  show  the 
monumental  cheek  of  its  concoctor,  Sidney  Rigtion, 
Esq.  Laugh  I  must,  but  graver  students  who  feel  inter- 
ested in  this  matter  of  sect-framing  and  lunacy-breeding 
may  compare  at  their  leisure  the  Bible  with  Rigdon's  "  in- 


126  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

spired  "  rubbish,  published  by  the  "re-organized"  Mor- 
mon church,  1867.  It  seems  to  me,  however,  that  the 
prophet's  son,  (whose  coming  forth  in  the  latter  days  is 
not,  strange  to  say,  predicted  in  Genesis  along  with  the 
coming  forth  of  his  honored  sire  and  grandsire,)  who  is 
the  visible  head  of  the  "Reorganized  Church,"  doesn't 
half  understand  the  business  of  book-publishing.  Why 
not  call  it  "Lucy's  family  Bible"  or,  "the  true  Bible 
key,"  or,  "  the  three-cornered  family  diamond  ?  " 

Since  this  was  written,  I  have  been  credibly  informed 
of  the  following  facts  :  Rigdon,  after  having  retired  to 
Pittsburg,  Pennsylvania,  organized  a  little  Mormon  Eden, 
or  more  properly  speaking,  a  little  Mormon  hell  of  his 
own,  where  community  of  goods,  his  favorite  and  life- 
long hobby,  played  an  important  part.  He  bought,  after 
having  obtained  from  a  relative  a  loan  of  one  thousand 
dollars,  a  tract  of  four  hundred  acres  in  the  mountainous 
region  of  the  State,  intended  as  the  nucleus  of  the  true 
"  Zion."  This  tract  he  laid  out  in  lots,  and  his  followers 
"  gathered  "  to  the  place.  But  it  was  not  all  dry,  serious 
religion  what  they  practiced  ;  there  was  some  fun,  "and 
that  too  most  holy,"  to  be  sure.  On  the  tract  aforesaid 
was  a  big  barn,  and  this  barn  was  "  ordained  and  set 
apart"  for  religious  ceremonies,  which  were  in  substance 
the  same  kind  of  pastime  indulged  in  by  Joseph  and  his 
inner  circle  in  Nauvoo,  and  in  Southampton,  England,  by 
Elder  Margetts.  I  cannot  help  thinking,  in  my  Gentile 
corruption,  what  decent  fellows  those  Turks  are  compared 
with  the  founders  and  upholders  of  the  new  and  ever- 
lasting gospel. 


The   Greatest  Scamp  in  the  West.  127 

DOCTOR   JOHN    C.    BENNETT. 


The  Napoleon  of  Nauvoo — A   Modern   Sejanus — A  Fine 
Blessing  by  Hyrum  Smith — "  My  Servant  Bennett" — 
Joab,    General  in    Israel — Visits    in   the    Historian's 
Office  —  Apostle  Richards   and  other  Interesting  Peo- 
ple —  The    Author    Gets   a    Holy   Bouncing  —  They 
Cannot  Lie — Joab  Leaves  Nauvoo — Dies  in  Obscurity. 


Dr.  John  C.  Bennett,  physician,  quartermaster  general, 
master  in  chancery,  major  general,  mayor,  chancellor  of 
the  Nauvoo  University — this  is  another  star,  or  rather, 
meteor  in  the  history  of  Nauvoo.  We  know  him  already ; 
Mrs.  Sarah  M.  Pratt  has  given  us  a  portrait  of  him,  which 
shows  conclusively  that  one  can  be  a  great  man  in  the 
world  while  he  would  be  a  very  little  one  in  the  peni- 
tentiary. But  I  like  that  fellow  Bennett  first-rate  all  the 
•  same,  in  an  artistic  way,  of  course,  because  he  is  such  an 
excellent  type  of  the  "  Catilinarian  existences  "  above 
quoted. 

Who  was  Dr.  Bennett  ?  In  the  opinion  of  Governor 
Ford  *  he  was  the  greatest  scamp  in  the  West.  In  his 
own  conceit  he  was,  if  second  to  anybody,  so  only  to 
Napoleon  the  Great.  He  was  a  physician,  had  some  mil- 
itary knowledge,  picked  up  God  knows  where,  a  towering 
ambition  and  a  very  keen  sense  of  female  beauty,  or,  to 
speak  like  a  Mormon  elder,  for  the  blessings  of  Abraham, 
Jacob,  Solomon  and  David.  He  thought  he  could  use 
Joseph  as  a  ladder  to  greatness,  but  Joseph  used  him  as  a 
tool,  and  when  he  had  learned  all  the  tricks  of  Bennett, 
he  threw  him  away,  as  he  did  his  first  master  and  mentor, 
"  my  servant  Sidney,"  as  he  did  "  that  old  granny, 
Martin  Harris."  Bennett  lived  eighteen  months  in  Nau- 

*  See  "History  of  Illinois."  The  part  of  this  book  which  treats 
of  the  Mormons  is  admirable  in  substance  and  spirit. 


128  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

voo,  organized  the  new  Mormon  empire,  wrote  the  charters 
of  the  city  and  procured  their  passage  in  the  State  legis- 
lature ;  drilled  the  Nauvoo  legion,  practiced  abortion  for 
the  prophet,  treated  professionally  the  maladies  galantes 
of  the  high  priesthood,  helped  Joseph  to  organize  the 
criminal  masonry  of  the  endowment,  in  which  he  assumed 
the  role  of  "  Holy  Ghost,"  was  his  accomplice  in  the  at- 
tempted murder  of  Governor  Boggs,  and  who  knows  in 
how  many  other  schemes  of  this  kind,  and  enjoyed  the  bless- 
ings of  Isaac  and  Jacob,  etc.  But  all  of  a  sudden  he  fell 
like  Sejanus.  Yes,  he  fell,  after  having  been  mayor  of 
the  city,  chancellor  of  the  Nauvoo  "University/'  major- 
general  of  the  Nauvoo  Legion,  and,  as  my  homespun 
friend  Webb  says,  "  chief  cook  and  bottle-washer"  in 
general.  And  why  did  he  fall  ?  Look  out  for  the  woman  ! 
as  the  Frenchman  has  it.  He  and  Joseph  wanted,  it 
seems,  to  shower  the  blessings  of  Abraham  and  Jacob  on 
the  same  beauties.  Dismissed  from  his  high  position,  he 
lectured  in  the  States  against  Joseph  and  wrote  a  book 
which  in  its  theatrical  pathos  reminds  me  often  of  Fal- 
staff's  excellent  friend  "Pistol;"  but  this  book*  is,  be- 
sides being  a  clever  compilation  of  Howe's  and  other 
anti-Mormon  publications,  true  in  all  essential  points ; 
what  Bennett  tells  is  true.  I  had  his  tale  confirmed  by  all 
my  old  witnesses.  The  only  thing  to  be  said  against  the 
book  is  the  fact,  that  he  does  not  tell  the  whole  truth. 
He  avoids  this  partly  because  it  would  damn  himself,  and 
then  because  the  whole  truth  about  Mormonism  cannot  be 
printed — it  is  too  filthy  for  type. 

How  big  a  light  the  doctor  was  in  Nauvoo,  in  the  be- 
ginning of  his  eighteen  months  career,  is  best  seen  by  a 
blessing  pronounced  on  Bennett's  head  by  Patriarch  Hyrum 
Smith.  I  wonder  whether  the  two  augurs  did  not  laugh 
to  each  other  while  this  "  blessing  "-comedy  was  going 
on  ?  Here  are  some  tid-bits  of  the  document : 

"  John  C.  Bennett — I  lay  my  hands  upon  thy  head  in  the  name  of 
Jesus  Christ,  and  inasmuch  as  thou  art  a  son  of  Abraham,  I  bless  you 
with  the  holy  priesthood,  with  all  its  graces  and  gifts  and  with  wisdom 

*The  History  of  the  Saints,  or,  an  expose  of  Joe  Smith  and  Mor- 
monism. Boston,  1842. 


Bennett' s  Keys  and  Blessings.  129 

in  all  the  mysteries  of  God.  Thou  shalt  have  knowledge  given  thee, 
and  shalt  understand  the  keys  by  which  all  mysteries  shall  be  un- 
locked. Thou  shalt  have  great  power  among  the  children  of  men  and 
shalt  have  influence  among  the  great  and  the  noble,  even  to  prevail  on 
many  and  bring  them  to  the  knowledge  of  the  truth.  Thou  shalt 
prevail  over  thy  enemies.  Many  souls  shall  believe  because  of  the 
proclamation  which  thou  shalt  make.  The  Holy  Spirit  shall  rest  upon 
thee,  insomuch  that  thy  voice  shall'  make  the  foundation  on  which 
thou  standestto  shake — so  great  shall  be  the  power  of  God." 

This  is  a  very  fine  metaphor.  Hyrum  has  learned  a 
good  deal  from  Micawber-Smith,  his  father.  But  let  him 
go  on  : 

"God's  favor  shall  rest  upon  thee  in  dreams  and  visions,  which  shall 
manifest  the  glory  of  God.  Beloved  Brother,  if  thou  art  faithful  thou 
shalt  have  pow^r  to  heal  the  sick ;  cause  the  lame  to  leap  like  an  hart, 
the  deaf  to  hear,  and  the  dumb  to  speak  and  their  voice  shall  salute 
thine  ears.  Thou  shalt  be  like  unto  Paul  and  shalt  have  the  visions  of 
heaven  open,  even  as  they  were  to  him. 

"  Thy  name  shall  be  known  in  many  nations,  and  thy  voice  shall 
be  heard  among  many  people.  Yea,  unto  many  of  the  remnants  of 
Israel  shalt  thou  be  known,  and  thou  shalt  proclaim  the  gospel  unto 
many  tribes  of  the  house  of  Israel. 

"  God  is  with  thee  and  has  wrought  upon  thy  heart  to  come  up  to 
this  place  that  thou  mayest  be  satisfied  that  the  servants  of  God  dwell 
here  [in  Nauvoo].  God  shall  reward  thee^for  thy  kindness.  Thou 
must  travel  and  labor  for  Zion,  for  this  is  the  mind  and  will  of  God. 
Be  like  Paul.  Let  God  be  thy  shield  and  buckler,  and  he  shall  shield 
thee  forever.  Angels  shall  guide  thee,  and  shall  lift  thee  out  of  many 
dangers  and  difficulties. 

"  Thou  shalt  have  power  over  many  of  thy  friends  and  relations, 
and  shalt  prevail  with  them,  and  when  thou  shalt  reason  with  them,  it 
shall  be  like  Palil  reasoning  with  Felix,  and  they  shall  tremble  when 
they  hear  thy  words.  Thou  shalt  be  blessed  with  the  blessings  of 
Abraham,  Isaac  and  Jacob  [aha],  and  if  thou  art  faithful,  thou  shalt 
be  yet  a  Patriarch,  and  the  blessings  thou  shalt  pronounce  shall  be 
sealed  in  heaven.  If  thou  continue  faithful  and  steadfast  in  the  ever- 
lasting covenant,  thou  shalt  have  power  over  the  winds  and  the  waves, 
and  they  shall  obeyHhy  voice  when  thou  shalt  speak  in  the  name  of 
Jesus  Christ.  Thou  shalt  be  crowned  with  immortality  in  the  celestial 
kingdom,  when  Christ  shall  descend.  Even  so,  Amen." 

Hyrum' s  blessing  bears  the  date  of  September  21,  1840. 
The  Lord  seems  to  have  been  pretty  well  satisfied  with  the 
services  of  the  Doctor,  since  He  speaks  of  him  four  months 
later,  in  a  revelation  dated  Jan.  19,  1841,  in  very  flattering 
terms.  If  a  subscriber  to  the  Times  and  Seasons,  the 


13°  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

church  organ,  the  Lord  must  have  been  highly  pleased  in 
seeing  His  words  printed  in  No.  15,  Vol.  II.  : 

"Again,  let  my  servant  John  C.  Bennett  help  you  [Joseph]  in  your 
labor  in  sending  my  word  to  the  kings  of  the  people  of  the  earth,  and 
stand  by  you,  even  you  my  servant  Joseph  Smith  in  the  hour  of  afflic- 
tion, and  his  reward  shall  not  fail  if  he  receive  counsel',  and  for  his  love 
he  shall  be  great ;  for  he  shall  be  mine  if  he  does  this,  saith  the  Lord. 
I  have  seen  the  work  which  he  hath  done,  which  I  accept,  if  he  con- 
tinue, and  will  crown  him  with  blessings  and  great  glory." 

I  see  lots  of  interesting  things  in  this  little  bit  of  a 
heavenly  dispatch.  That  old  "  pard  "  of  Joe's  is  a  wicked 
wag.  Don't  you  see  his  villainous  allusions?  "  Hour  of 
affliction" — what  else  does  it  mean  but  those  eternal. trou- 
bles with  that  obstinate  "  legal"  wife  of  Joe^s,  the  elect 
lady?  And,  besides,  doesn't  it  mean  those  disagreable 
cases  whenever  "one  of  Joseph' s  women  was  in  trouble  ?  " 
Well,  Bennett  did  surely  his  best  to  get  Joe  out  of  his 
scrapes.  He  advises  him  to  get  a  revelation  that  polyga- 
my is  right,  and  as  to  the  other  "afflictions,"  he  does  all 
a  skillful  physician  can  do  in  such  cases.  The  Lord  "  has 
seen  the  work  he  has  done,"  and  no  doubt  that  crooked 
instrument,  too,  described  by  Mrs.  Pratt,  and  He  has 
"  accepted  it."  I  have  never  seen  anything  in  all  my  life 
which  comes  near  this  in  the  way  of  a  handy,  comfortable 
religion.  Have  you  ? 

General  Bennett  tries,  besides,  to  send  the  prophet's 
word  to  the  kings  and  people  of  the  earth.  He  thunders 
in  the  Nauvoo  Wasp,  a  little  weekly  edited  by  Joseph's 
brother  William,  the  prototype  of  all  criminal  brutes  in 
Mormondom.  Here  is  one  of  his  Pistol-letters  : 

The  grievances  of  this  people  must  be  redressed  and  my  hands  shall 
help  to  do  it— should  they  have  to  reach  to  the  highest  courts  of  heav- 
en, dig  to  the  lowest  bowels  of  hell,  or  encompass  true  broad  expanse  of 
the  universe  of  God,  to  consummate  so  desirable  a  result. 

JOAB, 
General  in  Israel. 

I  hope  the  Lord  has  seen  this  "work  "  of  his  servant 
Joab  Bennett  and  accepted  it.  Or  did  he  like  that  other 
better?  It  is  a  little  more  poetical : 

"  Missouri  has  been  to  the  Saints  like  the  bohan  upas  to  the  weary 


The  Bonapartes  and  Washingtons  of  Nauvoo.     131 

pilgrim,  and  though  my  hands  be  bound,  my  feet  fettered  and  my 
tongue  palsied,  yet  will  I  defend  this  people  by  the  great  power  of 
God,  until  they  shall  shine  in  righteousness  among  the  nations  of  the 
earth  like  a  glittering  gem  sparkling  on  a  maiden's  brow,  and  be 
envied  only  for  their  good  works." 

Fine,  Doctor,  very  fine.  That  shows  the  poet  and  the 
scholar.  But  you  didn't  put  those  exquisite  gems  in  your 
little  book,  you  sly  dog,  eh  ?  They  would  not  do  along- 
side with  your  demand  for  Joseph  in  the  name  of  Missouri, 
eh? 

Ah,  it  was  a  grand  time,  when  the  Times  and  Seasons 
could  say,  editorially :  ' '  The  Nauvoo  Legion  appeared 
in  its  glory  and  presented  a  beautiful  appearance.  It  will 
soon  compare  with  the  best  military  organization  in  the 
Union."  When  those  high-sounding  "  GENERAL  ORDERS" 
were  given,  signed  by  Joseph  Smith,  Lieutenant-General, 
and  John  C.  Bennett,  Major-General.  Doesn't  it  read 
splendid  : 

"  In  forming  the  Legion,  the  adjutant  will  observe  the  rank  of 
companies  as  follows,  to-wit : 

1st  cohort — the  flying  artillery  first,  the  lancers  next  and  the  rifle- 
men next :  visiting  companies  of  dragoons  next  the  lancers  and  caval- 
ry next  the  dragoons." 

And  that  great  display  on  the  occasion  of  laying  the 
corner  stones  of  the  new  temple  !  Hear  it,  ye  nations  and 
kings : 

"  At  eight  o'clock  a.  m.  Major-General  Bennett  left  his  quarters  to 
organize  and  prepare  the  Legion  for  the  duties  of  the  day,  which 
consisted  of  about  fourteen  companies,  besides  several  companies  from 
Iowa  and  other  parts  of  the  country,  which  joined  them  on  this  occa- 
sion. 

"  At  half-past  nine  Lieutenant-General  Smith  was  informed  that 
the  legion  was  organized  and  ready  for  review,  and  immediately, 
accompanied  by  his  staff,  consisting  of  four  aid-de-camps  and  twelve 
guards,  nearly  all  in  splendid  uniforms,  took  his  march  to  the  parade 
ground.  On  their  approach  they  were  met  by  the  band,  beautifully 
equipped,  who  received  them  with  a  flourish  of  trumpets  and  a  regular 
salute,  and  then  struck  up  a  lively  air,  marching  in  front  to  the  stand 
of  the  lieutenant-general.  On  his  approach  to  the  parade  ground  the 
artillery  was  again  fired,  and  the  legion  gave  an  appropriate  salute 
while  passing.  This  was  indeed  a  glorious  sight,  such  as  we  never 
saw,  nor  did  we  ever  expect  to  see  such  a  one  in  the  \V  est.  The  rich 


132  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

and  costly  dresses  of  the  officers  would  have  become  a  BONAPARTE  or  a 
WASHINGTON. 

"  After  the  arrival  of  Lieutenant-General  Smith,  the  ladies,  who 
had  made  a  beautiful  silk  flag,  drove  up  in  a  carriage  to  present  it  to 
the  legion.  Major- General  Bennett  very  politely  attended  on  them, 
and  conducted  them  in  front  of  Lieutenant-General  Smith,  who 
immediately  alighted  from  his  charger  and  walked  up  to  the  ladies, 
who  presented  the  flag,  making  an  appropriate  address.  Lieutenant- 
General  Smith  acknowledged  the  honor  conferred  upon  the  legion, 
and  stated  that  as  long  as  he  had  the  command  it  should  never  be 
disgraced ;  and  then,  politely  bowing  to  the  ladies,  gave  it  into  the 
hands  of  Major-General  Bennett,  who  placed  it  in  possession  of  Cornet 
Robinson,  and  it  was  soon  seen  gracefully  waving  in  front  of  the 
legion.  During  the  time  of  presentation,  the  band  struck  up  a  lively 
air,  and  another  salute  was  fired  from  the  artillery.  After  the 
presentation  of  the  flag,  Lieutenant-General  Smith,  accompanied  by 
his  suite,  reviewed  the  legion,  the  different  officers  saluting  as  he 
passed.  Lieutenant-General  Smith  then  took  his  former  stand,  and 
the  whole  legion,  by  companies,  passed  before  him  in  review. 

"  Immediately  after  the  review,  General  Bennett  organized  the 
procession  to  march  to  the  foundations  of  the  temple,  in  the  following 
order,  to-wit : 

Lieutenant-General  Smith, 

Brigadier-Generals  Law  and  Smith, 

Aids-de-Camp  and  conspicuous  strangers, 

General  Staff, 

Band, 
Second  Cohort  (foot  troops), 

Ladies,  eight  abreast, 

Gentlemen,  eight  abreast. 

First  Cohort  (horse  troops). 

"  The  procession  then  began  to  move  forward  in  order,  and  on 
their  arrival  at  the  temple  block,  the  generals,  with  their  staffs  and 
distinguished  strangers  present,  took  their  position  inside  the  founda- 
tion, the  ladies  formed  on  the  outside  immediately  next  the  walls,  the 
gentlemen  and  infantry  behind,  and  the  cavalry  in  the  rear.  The 
assembly  sung  an  appropriate  hymn.  President  Rigdon  then  ascended 
the  platform  and  delivered  a  suitable  oration,  which  was  listened  to 
with  the  most  profound  attention  by  the  assembly.'' 

Those  were  the  glorious  May-days  of  1841.  The 
Mormon  "Lord"  felt  good.  Having  accepted  Bennett's 
work  (and  crooked  instrument,)  He  was  now  to  get  a  fine 
temple.  He  was  happy  to  see  so  many  of  my  servants  in 
fine  uniforms,  and  he  might  have  thought,  with  a  truthful 
Mormon  historian,  "it  is  a  singular  fact,  that  after 
Washington.  Joseph  Smith  was  the  first  man  in  America 


The  Prophet* s  Friend  a  Devil.  133 

who  held  the  rank  of  lieutenant-general."*  Poor,  dear 
old  Jehovah !  He  had  not  had  such'  a  holiday  since  the 
great  times  of  General  Joshua ;  and  this  splendid  morning 
of  the  Nauvoo  kingdom  was  a  proud  one  for  Emma  and 
the  "  ladies"  in  general.  There  was  such  a  crowd  of 
Bonapartes  and  Washingtons,  thunder  of  artillery,  soul- 
stirring  martial  music,  polite  bows,  grand  speeches,  sweet 
smiles — it  was  the  glorious  summer  of  Zion,  and  they 
didn't  dream  that  winter  was  so  near.  Bennett  was  the 
proudest  of  them  all.  Was  it  not  all  his  work,  his  brains, 
science  and  experience  ?  He  felt  himself  Bonaparte  and 
Washington  in  one.  The  clever  little  fellow  !  When  at 
the  height  of  his  glory  in  Nauvoo,  he  was  five  ieet  five 
inches  —  just  like  Napoleon  I.,  you  know  —  and  142 
pounds  in  weight.  Joseph  weighed  212  pounds,  and  was 
six  feet  —  Lee  says  six  feet  two  inches. 

' 'All  decent  people  in  Nauvoo,"  says  Mr.  K.,  "regarded 
Bennett  as  a  perfect  scoundrel."  And  he  was  the 
prophet's  Pylades:  was  with  him  day  and  night!  Mr. 
Webb  says:  "He  was  a  very  small,  villainous-looking 
man.  I  hated  him  from  sight.  Ambition  and  women 
filled  his  soul."  "  He  was  full  of  low  cunning  and 
licentiousness,"  says  Mrs.  Pratt.  Several  well-informed 
witnesses  tell  me  that  he  used  to  promise  abortion  to 
those  females  that  objected  to  the  "blessings  of  Abraham" 
on  the  ground  of  fear  for  the  consequences.  "I  heard 
him  preach  against  the  Gentiles,"  said  a  lady  of  eighty- 
eight  years  to  me.  "He  seemed  raving  mad.  I  said, 
'  The  fellow  is  a  devil,'  but  my  friends  warned  me  not  to 
talk  like  that  of  the  best  friend  of  the  prophet." 

I  saw  the  Nauvoo  Wasp  in  the  "  historian's  office." 
Fine,  snug  place  for  study,  that  office.  But  they  wouldn't 
let  me  study  there,  you  see.  Let  me  tell  you  how  this 
"came  to  pass."  First,  I  was  very  well  received  there. 
Apostle  Richards,  the  present  manager,f  is  as  nice  a 

*^And  that  Brigham  Young  was  [to  be]  the  next." — Tullidge, 
Brigham  Young,  p.  30. 

f  Apostle  Woodruff,  the  real  "  historian,"  is  "  in  obscurity,"  as 
Apostle  Richards  told  me.  The  poor  old  gentlemen  cannot  bear  the 
sight  of  a  deputy  marshal. 


134  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

polygamic  gentleman  as  I  have  met  in  Utah.  lie  has  a 
young  clerk  who  tries,  in  a  really  touching  manner,  to 
outdo  Uriah  Heep  in  the  pleasant  and  useful  art  of 
grinning.  I  saw  other  interesting  people  there;  for 
instance,  Elder  Jaques,  who  is  as  grim  as  Minos.  His 
last  smile  must  have  happened  somewhere  in  1850.  And 
Musser  I  saw  there,  too,  even  A.  M.  Musser,  a  great 
diplomat,  who  has  done  many  a  noble  deed,  seen  and 
accepted  by  Brigham.  Musser  had  just  been  in  the  Pen 
for  six  months,  for  having  "lived  his  religion"  with 
some  crisp  and  dashing  young  wives  instead  of  with  the 
tough  and  tedious  old  woman ;  and  this  sad  experience  of 
religious  persecution  gives  him  a  sort  of  noble,  martyrly 
bearing,  an  odor  half  church  incense,  half  harem  perfume. 
Well,  everything  went  lovely  for  two  or  three  visits,  you 
know.  They  showed  me  the  Wasp,  and  some  other 
things ;  but  the  kind  of  books  and  papers  which  I  wanted 
to  see  did  not  fail  to  arouse  suspicion  pretty  soon.  They 
began  to  catechise  me  in  the  approved  teacher-style,  and 
wanted  to  tell  me  "the  facts"  about  the  Mountain 
Meadows  Massacre  and  other  interesting  topics.  I  was 
stupid  enough  to  let  them  see  my  set  of  Gentile  teeth  too 
soon.  I  told  them  about  a  forgery  committed  by  one  of 
their  great  writers  in  printing  a  most  important  dispatch 
of  Brigham  Young.  I  gave  them  a  bit  of  my  mind  about 
polygamy  and  theocracy.  My  die  was  cast,  my  doom 
was  sealed.  When  I  asked  for  the  Nauvoo  Neighbor, 
another  very  interesting  weekly  of  1843-4,  they  "had 
lent  it  to  somebody."  They  are  so  sly.  But  I  do  not 
blame  them.  I  never  saw  a  cosier,  cooler  little  place  for 
a  little  practice  in  lying,  for  the  holiest  of  purposes.  And 
then,  looking  out  on  the  splendid  lawn  before  John 
Taylor's  palace,  could  I  help  thinking  :  You  CANNOT  lie 
to  Gentiles  ! 

But  let  us  return  to  the  Wasp,  whose  columns  were  so 
often  enriched  by  the  fertile  pen  of  Pistol-Joab-Bennett. 
Joseph's  great  friend  in  all  kinds  of  affliction  calls  Joseph, 
on  one  of  those  yellowish  leaves,  a  "great  philanthropist 
and  devout  Christian  !  "  The  same  Wasp  calls  Bennett, 
scarcely  a  month  later,  June  25,  "an  impostor  and  base 


End  of  the  Handy  Doctor.  135 

adulterer."  Sic  transit  gloria  mundi,  as  the  learned 
prophet  would  say,  or  "O  tempora,  O  mores!"  as 
quoted  in  the  same  number  of  Apostle'  William's  little 
weekly.  How  did  this  come  to  pass  ?  Had  the  Lord 
ceased  to  accept  the  Doctor's  work,  or  had  he  become 
jealous  of  Joseph's  new  "  pard?  " 

Bennett,  after  having  exposed  Prophet  Joseph, 
joined  Prophet  Strang,  who  had  set  up  a  little  Mormon 
inferno  of  his  own  OR  an  island  in  Michigan  lake.  A 
stormy  petrel  was  Dr.  John  C.  Bennett.  He  had  been 
everything  in  this  world,  even  a  Methodist,  and  a  Camp- 
bellite  preacher,  and  had  left,  in  the  spirit  of  a  Mormon 
martyr,  no  doubt,  wife  and  children,  before  coming  to 
worship  in  Nauvoo,  *  Joab  died  in  obscurity,  in  the 
State  of  Iowa. 

Farewell,  thou  portentous  meteor,  great  general, 
mighty  mayor  and  judge,  most  handy  doctor  and  most 
learned  chancellor  !  Farewell,  noble  Paul  !  Farewell, 
earth-shaking  Joab,  wave-stilling  Pistol !  Thou,  too,  art  a 
son  of  Abraham,  and  you  shall  pass  by  the  angels  and  the 
gods  to  thine  exaltation  and  glory,  little  "  Forty-two- 
pounder  !  "  f 

*  I  wonder  why  Lee  doesn't  say :  "  We  used  to  call  such  fellows 
widowers" 

•)-  This  was  General  Joab's  pet  name  in  Nauvoo. 


136  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  -Joseph  Smith. 

THE    NAUVOO    CATASTROPHE. 


A  New  Kind  of  Friends —  William  and  Wilson  Law, 
Dr.  Galland,  etc. — Postmaster  Rigdon — The  Great 
Revelation  of  January  19,  1841 — The  Lord's  "House 
of  Boarding"  and  "Stockholders"  — My  Servant 
Isaac  Galland — Blessings  and  Keys —  The  Messianic 
Wave — The  " Nauvoo  Expositor"  —  The  Nuisance 
Abated — Affidavits  of  William  and  Jane  Law — Hell 
an  Agreeable  Place — The  Nauvoo  Trap — The  Car- 
-  thage  Tragedy. 


Sidney  Rigdon  had  used  Joseph  as  a  tool  to  bring 
the  big  fraud  before  the  world.  Joseph  learned  two 
things  from  Sidney :  first,  the  theatrical*  make-up  of  a 
prophet  j  second,  the  art  to  use  men  as  he  himself  had 
been  used  by  the  ingenious  Pittsburg  tanner.  Joe  was 
shrewd  enough  to  find  out  what  qualities  in  a  man  were 
best  adapted  for  the  purposes  of  the-  Latter-day  kingdom. 
In  Martin  Harris  and  the  Whitmers  it  was  the  phenom- 
enal superstition  and  credulity ;  in  Oliver  Cowdery,  low 
rascality  and  a  certain  general  cleverness  combined  with 
the  occult  sciences  of  reading  and  writing,  so  little  known 
among  the  founders  of  the  new  gospel.  The  brothers 
Pratt  were  two  quite  different  natures.  Parley  was  bru- 
tally sensual  and  perfectly  unscrupulous ;  Orson  a 
fanatic  of  the  Rigdon  type  and  of  a  burning  ambition 
badly  matched  with  the  scholarship  of  a  dilettante.  This 
explains  why  Cowdery  and  Parley  Pratt  were  on  the  in- 
side of  the  imposture  from  the  beginning,  while  Orson 
Pratt  was  kept  on  the  outside  to  be  a  great  fisher  of 
men  as  a  missionary  and  perhaps  never  given  a  look  into 
the  strong  box  of  the  great  fraud. 

Oliver  was  the  first  type  4of  willing  criminal  tool  for 
the  schemes  of  Joseph  and  Rigdon,  and  he  was  the  first 


Horse  Thieves  and  Other  Friends  of  the  "Lord."   137 

to  fall,  when  he  knew  too  much  and  when  he  shrank  be- 
fore certain  logical  consequences  of  the  new  system 
adopted  recklessly  by  the  prophet  in  Missouri  in  1838. 
Cowdery's  disgrace  was  a  forerunner  of  the  fate  of  Dr. 
Avard  and  Dr.  Bennett.  In  Dr.  Sampson  Avard,  who 
went  heart  and  soul  into  the  bold  Mahomet-scheme  of 
Joseph,  we  get  the  first  clear  type  of  the  adventurers, 
then  swarming  in  the  virgin  West,  who  saw  in  the  prophet 
a  new  star  leading  them  to  coveted  greatness  and  enjoy- 
ment. He  understood  and  fell  in  with  Joseph's  purposes, 
and  seems  to  have  formed  the  plan,  readily  endorsed  by 
Rigdon  and  Joseph,  to  cement  the  motley,  low  adven- 
turers of  the  "faithful"  by  the  means  of  most  terrible 
oaths  and  secret  signs.  More  of  this  in  a  special  chapter 
about  the  Danites. 

The  Mahomet  scheme  had  been  a  great  fizzle  in 
Missouri.  Joseph  and  the  elite  of  his  tools  went  to  prison, 
after  barely  escaping  to  be  shot  by  court-martial.  The 
prophet  disclaimed,  unblushingly,  any  connection  with 
the  organization  of  the  Danite  band,  and  made  good  his 
retreat  to  Nauvoo.  It  is  well  known  that  the  good  people 
of  Illinois,  not  being  informed  about  the  real  causes  of 
the  Missouri  troubles,  willingly  accepted  the  Mormon  lie 
about  "religious  persecution,"  and  did  their  best  to 
make  the  fugitives  forget  their  sufferings.  It  did  not  take 
them  more  than  one  or  two  years  to  find  out  that  they 
had  warmed  a  big  snake  in  the  bosom  of  their  great  State. 

Nauvoo  was  a  fresh  field,  full  of  fresh  men.  Adven- 
turers of  all  kinds  offered  their  services  to  the  man  who, 
howbeit  he  might  be  as  great  a  rascal  as  there  ever  was, 
had  success  on  his  side  represented  in  thousands  of 
"  followers,"  who  were  in  reality  a  formidable  army  of 
fanatic  Mamelukes.  Lots  of  settlers  and  men  of  enter- 
prise were  what  the  new  West  wanted :  Joe  was  one  of 
the  latter,  and  possessed  the  former.  Dr.  Isaac  Galland 
—  they're  all  "  doctors,"  those  chaps — offered  to  Joseph 
land  enough  to  build  a  big  city  on.  He  had  been  a. 
horse-thief  in  earlier  times,  and  had  stolen  the  land ;  but 
Joe's  "Lord"  accepted  him  and  his  offer  all  the  same. 
Then  came  Bennett,  the  useful  man  par  excellence,  who 


138  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

knew  and  could  do  anything.  He  was  as  smooth  and 
ready  in  the  drafting  of  political  and  military  organiza- 
tions as  he  was  in  the  most  delicate  cases  of  personal 
affliction  —  as  we  have  seen.  But  not  only  rascals  came 
to  Zion  to  rise  with  the  rising  prophet ;  not  only  penniless 
adventurers,  as  Joe  had  been  himself  before  his  dupes 
were  commanded  to  feed,  clothe  and  house  him,  and 
before  he  could  buy  gold  watches  from  the  savings  of 
poor  old  maids,  but  honest  and  well-to-do  business  men 
came  too,  looking  out  for  the  opportunities  offered  by  a 
new  settlement  in  a  good  agricultural  and  commercial 
situation.  William  and  Wilson  Law  were  men  ot  this 
calibre ;  commercially,  their  position  in  Nauvoo  bears  a 
distant  resemblance  to  that  of  the  Walker  brothers  in  Salt 
Lake  City,  about  1870.  All  those  men  crowded  around 
the  great  prophet,  hoping  to  gain  influence  and  money 
through  him,  and  therefore  willing  to  help  on  his  schemes 
as  lieutenants  and  tools  in  general.  They  are  received 
with  open  arms,  and  honors  of  all  kinds  are  showered 
upon  them.  Before  the  people  they  are  the  lieutenant- 
general's  brilliant  staff,  and  behind  the  coulisses  they  help 
him  to  scheme  and  to  conspire. 

But  where  is  President  Rigdon,  my  servant  Sidney, 
always  named  first  in  the  early  revelations  of  the  Lord  ? 
Where  is  the  Lord's  Messenger  and  Mouthpiece,  the  in- 
spired projector,  architect  and  great  Messianic  feetwasher 
of  the  Kirtland  temple,  the  great  interpreter  of  the 
Nephite,  and  scores  of  other  records  and  tongues?  He  is 
nowhere,  I  am  sorry  to  say.  I  don't  see  him  in  the 
galaxy  of  Bonapartes  and  Washingtons.  He  is  not  even  a 
colonel,  like  our  visionary  astronomer,  "  Professor" 
Orson  Pratt;  not  even  a  "cornet."  You  see  him  in  a 
poor  little  office,  a  log  shanty,  probably,  the  Lord's  post- 
master ;  but  only  a  postmaster  after  all.  How  are  the 
mighty  fallen,  and  the  most  puissant  become  as  a  thing  of 
naught!  "My  Servant  the  Branch  "  is  on  the  shelf,  you 
see,  like  the  old  rusty  armor  kept  in  Don  Quixote's  castle. 
Good  enough  to  preach  an  oration  now  and  then,  but  he 
was  no  Bonaparte  or  Washington,  like  great  little  Bennett. 
I  doubt  whether  he  had  any  uniform  at  all,  and  as  to  his 


Mormonism  a  Business  Religion.  139 

pulpit  coat  and  hat,  he  kept  those  costly  treasures  well 
out  of  the  reach  of  the  wrestling  prophet  since  1838.  He 
was  an  excellent  fellow  for  expounding  the  new  gospel  on 
Sundays,  but  he  was  no  practical  kingdom-builder,  no 
business-man.  Already  with  Bennett  and  Joe  in  Nauvoo, 
"the  Mormon  God  *is  a  business  God,"  as  that  worthy 
leader,  George  Q.  Cannon,  so  well  and  forcibly  puts  it. 
Religion  is  all  very  well  for  the  people,  but  look  at  the 
Jesuits;  they  are  men  of  the  world,  the  friends  and 
advisers  of  emperors  and  kings  ;  that's  what  we  want  now 
— "mark  it,  Elder  Rigdon." 

Yes,  Elder  Rigdon,  you  prepare  for  meeting  and  let 
the  boys  have  their  fun.  And  don't  they  have  it?  The 
Bonapartes  enjoy  their  uniforms,  write  on  their  waving 
banner,  "The  blessings  of  Abraham,  Isaac  and  Jacob," 
and  conquer  Eliza's,  Martha's  and  Phebe's  in  the  absence 
of  frowning  castles  and  fortresses.  The  smart  business 
men  of  the  Law  type  make  hay  while  the  sun  shines. 
High  above  the  swarm  of  fortune-seekers  Joseph  holds  the 
prophetic  rod,  and  his  friends  hope  devoutly  that  it  will 
work  to  the  money  and  make  them  rise,  those  chests  of 
money,  discerned  with  such  scientific  acumen  by  Mr.  Joseph 
Smith,  Senior,  the  "Abraham  of  this  dispensation."* 
Those  smart  fellows  don't  believe  any  too  much  in  the 
Seer  and  Revelator ;  they  know  that  he  is  a  "hell  of  a 
fellow  with  the  women,"  but  he  is  young,  you  know,  and 
he  will  cool  down  bye  and  bye,  and  then  doesn't  he  laugh 
about  the  Gold  Bible  humbug  himself,  when  among  his 
nearest  friends?  We  want  to  make  money,  and  we  don't 
care  how  we  make  it.  And  so  greed  and  ambition  make 
them  gulp  it  all  down,  get  their  endowments  and  swear 
even  the  Danite  oaths.  They  see  that  the  great  mass  of 
people  really  believe  it  all,  that  they  work  hard  and  pay 
willingly,  that  they  "buy  at  our  stores,"  build  up  the 
country  and  city  rapidly — that's  all  we  want.  Let  Joseph 
get  his  revelations  and  print  them  in  the  Times  and  Sea- 
sons— they  are  cranky  enough,  but  we  don't  care  as  long 
as  we  make  $50  a  day  by  them.  In  five  or  six  years,  ten 

*  Tullidge,  Joseph  Smith,  p.  299. 


14°  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

at  the  longest,  we  will  be  rich  enough  to  make  our  own 
way  without  a  prophet  and  endowment  garments. 

Joseph  didn't  care  if  they  made  game  of  his  prophetic 
role  now  and  then ;  he  kept  them  with  a  strong  hand  in 
their  place  as  tools,  all  the  same,  and  made  them  pay  and 
obey,  never  losing  sight  for  a  momei>t  of  his  own  interests 
and  his  far-reaching  plans.  This  makes  him  a  leader  in 
in  my  eyes.  His  generals  may  scoff  at  the  blindly  fanatic 
herd,  but  Joseph,  with  the  instinct  of  the  French  kings 
who  relied  on  the  people  against  the  aspiring  nobles,  feels 
himself  strong  on  the  broad  basis  of  the  believing  masses, 
and  proclaims  to  the  whole  people  the  will  of  the  Lord 
concerning  his  clever  and  wealthy  friends,  exerting  in  this 
manner  a  powerful  pressure  on  those  who  would  hesitate 
to  work  for  his  schemes  and  "doe  over"  the  ready  cash 
they  possessed. 

But  let  the  "Lord"  himself  speak.  January  19,  1841,  He 
favours  His  servant  with  the  longest  revelation  of  all  the 
lot.  It  must  have  been  a  busy  time  for  the  Urim  and 
TJiummim  and  that  old  white  hat : 

"  Verily,  thus  saith  the  Lord,  unto  you  my  servant  Joseph  Smith, 
I  am  well  pleased  with  your  offerings  and  acknowledgments  which 
you  have  made.  I  say  unto  you  that  you  are  now  called  immediately 
to  make  a  solemn  proclamation  of  my  gospel.  This  proclamation 
shall  be  made  to  all  the  kings  of  the  world,  to  the  four  corners  thereof 
— to  the  honorable  President-elect,  to  the  high-minded  governors  of  the 
nation  in  which  you  live  and  to  all  the  nations  of  the  earth  scattered 
abroad.  Awake  !  O  kings  of  the  earth  !  Come  ye,  O!  come  ye  with 
your  gold  and  your  silver  to  the  help  of  my  people — to  the  house  of  the 
daughter  of  Zion." 

Yes,  don't  come  with  empty  hands.  Consecration 
before  all,  and  don't  forget  to  bring  your  wives  and  daugh- 
ters. 

After  having  given  this  great  outline  of  a  financial 
programme,  the  Lord  proceeds  to  occupy  himself  with 
Joseph's  friends.  The  prophet's  Richelieu,  Dr.  Bennett, 
is  the  first  named  ;  we  have  already  heard  the  Lord's  will 
concerning  the  proprietor  of  the  crooked  instrument. 
The  Lord  tackles  next  apostle  Lyman  Wight,  Joe's  Lieu- 
tenant in  1838,  a  crazy  Danite,  who  had  sworn  to  conquer 
St.  Louis  and  all  Missouri  : 


The   Old  B lesser  in  Heaven.  141 

"  And  again  I  say  unto  you,  that  it  is  my  will,  that  my  servant 
Lyman  Wight  should  continue  in  preaching  for  Zion,  that  when  he 
shall  finish  his  work  I  may  receive  him  unto  myself,  even  as  I  did  my 
servant  David  Patten,  w%o  is  WITH  ME  AT  THIS  TIME,  and  also  my 
servant  Edward  Partridge,  and  also  my  aged  servant  Joseph  Smith,  Sr., 
who  sitteth  with  Abraham,  at  his  right  hand,  and  blessed  and  holy  is 
he,  for  he  is  mine." 

Here  is  fun  for  fifty  generations.  David  Patten,  Pres- 
ident of  the  twelve,  and  leader  of  the  Danite  band,  had 
been  killed  in  a  skirmish  with  the  Missourians.  ''He  is 
with  me  at  this  time,"  says  the  Lord.  And  so  is  Partridge, 
the  first  bishop  of  the  church  and  father  of  the  two  poor, 
good  girls,  sealed  and  unsealed  inside  of  a  few  hours,  as 
we  have  seen.  And  so  is  our  excellent  friend  Micawber- 
Smith,  who  sitteth  with  Abraham  and  is,  no  doubt,  amusing 
the  venerable  patriarch  by  telling  him  those  awfully  funny 
stories  about  the  "chests  of  money,"  with  which  he  used 
aforetime  to  fix  the  fools  for  Joseph  Smith,  Jr.  "He  is 
mine,"  says  the  Lord,  but  it  strikes  me  that  Old  Scratch 
would  be  the  man  to  say  it. 

Let  my  servant  George,  and  my  servant  Lyman,  and  my  servant 
John  Snider  and  others  build  a  house  unto  my  name,  such  a  one  as  my 
servant  Joseph  shall  show  unto  them,  upon  the  place  which  he  shall 
show  unto  them  also.  And  it  shall  be  for  A  HOUSE  OF  BOARDING,  a 
house  that  strangers  may  come  from  afar  to  lodge  therein — therefore, 
let  it  be  a  good  house,  worthy  of  all  a«ceptation.  This  house  shall  be 
a  healthy  habitation ;  it  shall  be  holy,  or  the  Lord  your  God  will  not 
dwell  therein" 

Joseph,  Joseph,  you  are  the  master-wag  of  your  epoch  ! 
How  happily  you  give  the  vulgar,  hash-smelling  "boarding- 
house"  a  biblical  smack  by  terming  it  the  "house  of 
boarding  !  "  You  want  it  on  your  own  property,  of  course, 
and  a  good  house  and  healthy,  or  you — beg  pardon,  the 
Lord  your  God — will  not  dwell  therein.  Frankly,  I  admire 
you,  and  would  do  so  yet  more,  if  you  had  revealed  your 
hotel  terms  at  the  same  time,  say  in  a  little  card  like  this : 


142  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Joseph  Smith. 

THE    NAUVOO    MANSION    HOUSE 

IS    NOW 
THE    LEADING    HOTEL    IN*ZION. 

It  is  quiet  and  home-like.  The  rooms 
are  large  and  elegantly  furnished.  The 
finest  beds  in  the  city.  First-class  Barber 
Shop,  fine  Billiard  Saloon,  first-class  Din- 
ing Room,  the  tables  loaded  with  the  best 
the  market  affords.  In  place  of  $3  and 
$4  per  day,  charges  only  $2. 

THE  LORD  &  His  SERVANT, 
JOSEPH  SMITH,  JR.,  Proprietors. 

Now  comes  the  temple  business.  Joe  opens  a  public 
subscription  for  the  building,  The  leading  idea  is  that  it 
should  not  cost  him  a  cent,  but  he  hides  it  very  happily 
with  biblical  language : 

"And  again,  verily,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  let  all  my  Saints  come 
from  afar;  and  send  ye  swift  messengers,  yea  chosen  messengers  and 
say  unto  them,  come  ye  all  with  your  gold,  and  your  silver,  and  with 
your  precious  stones  and  with  all  your  antiquities  ;  and  with  all  who 
have  knowledge  of  antiquities,  and  bring  the  box  tree,  the  fir  tree  and 
the  pine  tree,  together  with  all  the  precious  trees  of  the  earth,  and  with 
iron  and  with  copper  and  with  brass  and  with  zinc,  and  with  all  your 
precious  things  of  the  earth,  and  build  a  house  to  my  name,  for  the 
Most  High  to  dwell  therein." 

All  the  antiquities  except   the  old  ladies,   I  suppose. 
But  apropos  the   temple,  the  Mormon  Lord  gets  all  of  a 
1  sudden  a  violent  attack  of  Missouriphobia. 

"  The  iniquity  and  transgression  of  my  holy  laws  and  command- 
ments I  will  visit  upon  the  heads  of  those  who  hindered  my  work,  unto 
the  third  and  fourth  generation,  so  long  as  they  respect  not,  and  hate 
me,  saith  the  Lord  God.  Therefore  have  I  accepted  the  offerings  of 
those  men  whom  I  commanded  to  build  up  a  city  and  a  house  unto 
my  name  IN  JACKSON  COUNTY,  MISSOURI,  and  were  hindered  by  their 
enemies,  saith  the  Lord  your  God,  and  I  will  answer  judgment, 
wrath,  indignation,  wailing,  anguish  and  gnashing  of  teeth,  upon  their 
heads,  and  I  will  save  all  those  of  your  brethren  who  have  been  slain 
in  the  land  of  Missouri,  saith  the  Lord." 

The  Lord  has  evidently  had  a  chat  with  D.  Patten, 
"who  is  with  me,"  and  Patten  said,  "Give  it  to  them," 


Joe }  s  Lord  as  Stock  Jobber.  143 

meaning  Boggs  and  the  Missourians.  But  He  cools  off  and 
proceeds  again  to  business.  He  takes  up  his  favorite 
project,  the  house  of  boarding,  and  wants  Joseph  and  his 
posterity  to  be  comfortable  in  it,  without  being  bothered 
by  bills  and  similar  inventions  of  Satan.  I  have  given 
this  piece  of  revelation  already  on  page  40.  But  another 
question  arises.  How  get  the  funds  for  building  ?  The 
Lord  finds  an  escape.  He  has  learned  a  good  deal  since 
the  simple  days  of  Abraham  and  Jacob.  He  suggests,  in 
his  mild  Biblical  language,  a  stock  company  to  his  servant 
Joseph.  Who  knows  whether  he  has  not  had  a  like  talk 
about  the  matter  with  our  friend  Micawber,  interrupting 
him  while  lecturing  to  the  other  Abraham  about  the 
chests  of  money?  The  "Abraham  of  this  dispensation" 
would  be  just  the  fellow  to  suggest  such  a  plan  to  work 
to  the  money  with.  I  say  it  is  an  excellent  religion.  In 
Missouri  the  Lord  teaches  them  to  steal  as  his  agents,  and 
in  Illinois  he  finds  ever  so  many  new  ways  to  raise  the 
chests  of  money.  It  is  a  "business  religion,"  by  Jove, 
and  no  wonder  that  you  see  nothing  of  religion  at  all  in 
the  leaders,  but  only  business,  and  sometimes  crooked,  tooy 
like  Bennett's  instrument.  But  hear  Joe's  mentor  again  : 

"  Behold  !  Verily  I  say  unto  you,  let  my  servant  George  Miller, 
and  my  servant  Lyman  Wight,  and  my  servant  John  Snider,  and  my 
servant  Peter  Hawes,  organize  themselves  and  appoint  one  of  them  to 
to  be  a  president  over  their  quorum  for  the  purpose  of  building  that 
house." 

"Organize  themselves" — hem,  that  sounds  like  the 
new  Abraham.  Might  he  not  have  drafted  the  whole 
thing  ?  I  conclude  this  mainly  from  the  following  piece, 
which  shows  that  there  was  a  danger  that  the  four  fellows, 
after  having  organized  themselves,  would  steal  like  hell, 
not  as  the  Lord's  agents,  but  on  their  own  hook.  Now  it 
strikes  me  that  the  new  Abraham  knows  those  fellows 
best.  Maybe  they  owe  him  yet  three  dollars  apiece  for 
blessings.  So  he  goes  on  drafting  for  the  Lord  : 

"  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  If  my  servant  George  Miller, 
and  my  servant  Lyman  Wight,  and  my  servant  John  Snider,  and  my 
servant  Peter  Hawes  receive  any  stock  into  their  hands,  in  moneys  or 
in  properties  wherein  they  receive  the  real  value  of  moneys,  they  shall 


144  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

not  appropriate  any  portion  of  that  stock  to  any  other  purpose,  and  if 
they  do,  without  the  consent  of  the  stockholders,  and  do  not  repay  four- 
fold, they  shall  be  accursed,  and  shall  be  removed  out  of  their  place, 
saith  the  Lord  God,  for  I  the  Lord  am  God,  and  cannot  be  mocked  in 
any  of  these  things." 

You  see,  there  are  good  reasons  to  be  afraid  that  my 
servants  will  steal.  Well,  never  mind,  if  they  repay  four- 
fold they  may  doit.  "  Four-fold" — I  have  seen  that 
word  somewhere.  Oh,  yes,  I  remember  now.  Lucy 
Munchausen  promises,  "  in  the  name  of  the  spirit,"  to 
repay  four-fold  a  little  loan  of  four  or  five  dollars  (p.  18). 
You  see,  that  strengthens  my  scientific  theory  that  her 
husband,  the  new  Abraham,  did  draft  the  whole  reve- 
lation, perhaps  (who  knows)  with  the  advice  of  the  old 
Abraham.  I  like  that  "cannot  be  mocked."  That 
shows  the  Lord's  own  hand  again  ;  he  added  this  to  the 
new  Abraham's  draft.  You  see  that  white-dog-story 
(p.  79)  is  not  yet  entirely  forgotten,  and  it  was  disgrace- 
ful, to  be  sure,  to  cheat  such  a  Lord.  Why  take  a  white 
sheep,  instead  of  trying  honestly  to  get  a  real  dog,  coute 
que  coute  / 

"  Let  my  servant,  Isaac  Galland  [the  horse  thief]  put  stock  in 
that  house,  for  I  the  Lord  loveth  him  for  what  he  hath  done,  and  will 
forgive  all  his  sins,  therefore  let  him  be  remembered  for  an  interest 
in  that  house  from  generation  to  generation." 

You  will  have  to  shell  out,  Doctor,  there  is  no  help 
for  it.  The  little  remark  about  "  his  sins  "  shows  again 
Micawber's  hand,  or  I  am  no  critic  at  all.  I' feel  sure  the 
fellow  got  lots  of  "  blessings  "  arid  never  paid  a  red  cent 
for  them.  The  old  blesser  "  cannot  be  mocked  in  any  of 
these  things." 

"  Let  my  servant  William  Law  pay  stock  in  that  house  for  him- 
self and  his  seed  after  him.  Let  him  not  take  his  family  unto  the 
eastern  lands,  even  to  Kirtland.  Let  my  servant  William  go  and 
proclaim  mine  everlasting  gospel  unto  the  inhabitants  of  Warsaw,  of 
Carthage,  of  Burlington  and  Madison,  and  then  wait  patiently  for 
further  instructions  at  my  general  conference,  saith  the  Lord.  If  he 
will  do  my  will  let  him  from  henceforth  hearken  to  the  counsel  of  my 
servant  Joseph  and  publish  the  new  translation  of  my  holy  word  unto 
the  inhabitants  of  the  earth." 

There  is  a  whole   programme   for   the  wealthy  mer- 


Hyrum  Becomes  a  Prophet.  145 

chant.  "  Pay  stock "  in  the  prophet's  hotel;  not  leave 
Nauvoo ;  go  preaching  and  wait  for  orders  to  be  received 
at  my  conference ;  obey  and  pay,  especially  for  the 
printing  of  that  beautiful  inspired  translation  and  correc- 
tion of  the  Bible,  done  by  Sidney  Rigdon,  now  the 
postmaster  of  the  Lord.  Yes,  General  Law,  do  as  Mar- 
tin Harris  did,  who  mortgaged  his  farm  to  pay  three 
thousand  dollars  for  the  printing  of  five  thousand  copies 
of  the  Book  of  Mormon.  You  are  sure  to  get  the  reward 
Martin  got,  the  title  of  "  old  granny"  in  the  church  or- 
gan. But  it  is  worth  trying,  to  fix  that  fool,  so  the  Lord 
makes  him  a  counsellor  of  the  prophet.  Hyrum  has  to 
step  aside ;  he  becomes  official  blesser  of  the  church. 

"  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  let  my  servant  William  be 
appointed,  ordained  and  anointed  as  a  counselor  unto  my  servant 
Joseph ;  that  my  servant  Hyrum  may  take  the  office  of  patriarch, 
that  from  henceforth  he  shall  hold  the  keys  of  the  patriarchal  bless- 
ings [at  three  dollars  apiece ;  reasonable  terms  for  families]  upon  the 
heads  of  all  my  people,  that  whoever  he  blesseth  shall  be  blessed 
and  whoever  he  curseth  shall  be  cursed — that  whatsoever  he  shall 
bind  on  earth  shall  be  bound  in  heaven,  and  whatsoever  he  shall 
loose  on  earth  shall  be  loosed  in  heaven ;  and  from  this  time  forth  I 
appoint  unto  him  that  he  may  be  a  prophet,  and  a  seer,  and  a  reve- 
lator  unto  my  church,  as  well  as  my  servant  Joseph,  and  that  he  shall 
receive  counsel  from  my  servant  Joseph,  who  shall  show  unto  him  the 
keys,  whereby  he  may  be  crowned  with  the  same  blessings.  I  crown 
upon  his  head  the  bishopric  and  blessing  and  glory  and  honour  and 
gifts  of  the  priesthood,  that  once  were  put  upon  him  that  WAS  my 
servant  Oliver  Cowdery.  Let  my  servant  William  Law  also  receive 
the  keys. . .  , . ." 

My  head  begins  to  spin  in  this  chaos  of  blessings, 
titles  and  keys.  So  brother  Hyrum  is  to  be  another 
prophet.  How  will  they  manage  about  the  old  White 
Hat  and  the  Urim  and  Thummim  ?  An  old  hat  can  be 
bought  cheap  enough,  but  those  three-cornered  diamonds 
set  in  glass — will  they  use  them  alternately,  or  is  Hyrum 
to  get  his  own  set  ?  This  seems  very  important  and  has 
been  overlooked  entirely  by  historians  of  the  depth  of 
Stenhouse  and  Tullidge.  And  poor  Oliver  Cowdery,  he 
was  my  servant.  All  his  blessings  and  gifts  go  to  the 
dogs — no,  to  Hyrum. 

Last  and  least,  in  this  endless  revelation,  comes  our 
friend  Sidney  Rigdon,  like  a  lame  mare  behind  a  train. 


146  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

"  And  again,  verily  I  say  unto  you,  if  my  servant  Sidney  will 
serve  me,  and  offer  unto  me  an  acceptable  offering  [Nancy]  and  re- 
main with  my  people,  he  shall  again  be  a  spokesman  before  my  face." 

It's  plain  enough.  He  shall  be  a  slave,  and  all  he 
gets  for  it  is  the  liberty  to  preach.  Wouldn't  it  be  better, 
Elder  Rigdon,  to  be  an  honest  little  tanner  in  some  vil- 
lage, than  to  be  treated  like  that  ?  What  did  you  say  in 
New  York  in  the  fall  of  1844?  "  I  guided  the  prophet's 
tottering  steps  till  he  could  walk  alone."  It  seems  Joe 
walks  alone  now  and  your  steps  are  tottering,  old  Go-to- 
grass. 

In  this  manner  the  "  Messianic  wave  swept  onward"  * 
A.  D.  1841.  Mormonism,  the  "  grand  universal  scheme 
of  salvation  and  stupendous  structure  of  divine  purposes 
and  divine  beneficence "  f  was  doing  its  best  to  work  to 
the  money  and  raise  those  chests,  abroad  and  at  home. 
But — as  it  had  been  in  Kirtland  and  in  Missouri — Jos- 
eph's talents  and  instincts  as  a  leader  were  overborne  by 
his  follies  and  crimes.  He  was  too  great,  too  hot  a  brute 
to  be  successful  as  a  schemer.  He  could  not  wait.  He 
could  never  defer  a  pleasure  for  a  moment.  If  a  Van- 
derbilt  were  to  have  given  him  a  million,  he  would  have 
cried :  ' '  Where  is  the  rest  of  it  ?  " 

That  was  his  motto  as  to  all  manner  of  enjoyment — 
money,  power,  women — where  is  the  rest  of  it?  Having 
seduced  a  goodly  number  of  the  wives  and  daughters  of 
his  immediate  slaves,  the  apostles,  he  now  wants,  forsooth, 
my  pretty  Jane,  my  dearest  Jane,  William  Law's  wife, 
pretty  and  charming  Jane  Law ;  he  wants  spirited  Nancy 
Rigdon,  the  daughter  of  the  man  to  whom  he  and  his 
father's  house  were  indebted  for  all  they  had  and  were. 
But  these  men,  weren't  they,  like  Joseph  himself,  Free- 
masons, the  honor  of  their  wives  and  daughters  sacred  by 
the  rules  of  this  order  ?  It  is  not  to  be  expected,  how- 
ever, that  Masonry  can  hold  the  prophet  in  any  restraint. 
Had  he  not  prostituted  the  ordinances  and  secrets  of  the 
order  by  mimicking  and  burlesquing  them  in  his  endow- 

*Tullidge,  p.  326. 
f  Idem,  p.  133. 


The  Conspiracy  Against  Caligula.  147 

ments  and  proclaiming  that  he  had  found  among  the 
f  wondrous  secrets  of  that  old  white  hat,  the  crowning 
"key  "lost  by  the  Masons,  for  long  ages;  so  that,  like 
his  religion,  his  masonry  was  the  true  and  only  original 
Jacobs?*  His  beastly  desires  and  reckless  impudence 
were  even  greater  than  his  cunning. 

All  this  was  more  than  the  Laws  and  their  friends  had 
bargained  for.  The  means  at  their  command  and  their 
abilities  in  business — which  could  be  carried  on  any- 
where— made  them. independent.  They  were  not  forced, 
like  the  half-illiterate  tramps  called  apostles,  to  drag  the 
prophet's  triumphal  chariot.  They  were  not  forced  to 
make  prostitutes  of  their  wives  and  daughters  to  satisfy 
a  passing  caprice  of  Caligula.  Like  causes,  like  effects. 
First  a  frown,  then  a  whisper,  and  then  a  plain  talk  be- 
tween friends  and  the  conspiracy  is  begotten.  They 
resolved  to  kill  the  tyrant,  whose  ravings  had  become  in- 
tolerable and  who  was  sure  to  ruin  not  only  their  families, 
but  also  their  whole  future  prospects,  by  bringing  down 
the  vengeance  of  all  decent  citizens  of  Illinois  on  him- 
self and  his  city.  But  they  didn't  want  to  kill  him  with 
daggers — they  chose  a  modern  weapon,  land  decided  to 
kill  him  an  inch  every  week,  by  a  weekly,  the  celebrated 
EXPOSITOR. 

You  know  how  Macbeth  felt  when  he  saw  the  woods 
marching  against  him.  Well,  Joe  Smith  must  have  felt 
much  the  same  when  he  found  out  that  a  handful  of  in- 
timate friends  and  accomplices  of  his'  were  going  to  start 
a  newspaper  against  him,  in  his  own  city,  in  June,  1844. 
The  difference  betwixt  the  old  time  and  the  new  is  here : 
then  you  marched  against  a  tyrant  with  an  army,  now 
you  start  a  little  paper  and  it  makes  him  tremble  more 
than  the  hordes  of  Xerxes.  A  newspaper  is  a  horrible 
thing :  it  sets  your  roof  ablaze  while  you  sit  there,  arms 
bound,  and  can  do  nothing. 

Who  were   the  men  who   started   the    Expositor  and 

*  Brigham  used  to  call  the  Utah  endowments  Masonry  after  the 
order  of  Enoch,  and  Kimball  said  often  :  "  This  is  true  Free  Masonry 
and  all  you  that  have  been  Masons  will  find  how  much  superior  this  is 

to  common  Free  Masonry." 

*  * 


148  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

published  the  first  number,  June  7,  1844?  The  Laws 
were  decent,  intelligent,  well-to-do  people ;  so  they  are 
described  by  Mrs.  Pratt.  I  think  they  were  the  cleverest 
fellows  in  the  whole  Expositor  outfit.  Foster  was  a 
sharper,  Higbee  is  called  a  Mormon  hoodlum  by  Mr. 
Webb.  Leave  aside  the  Laws  and  you  may  say  that  the 
whole  explosion  of  June  7  was  a  case  of  "rogues  falling 
out."  But  the  paper  was  decent  enough.  It  exposed 
Smith,  but  by  no  means  in  an  indecent  manner ;  to  make 
it  short,  I  may  truly  say  that  the  editors  did  not  tell  the 
tenth  part  of  what  they  knew.  But  let  the  reader  judge 
for  himself  by  looking  at  my  reprint  of  the  most  impor- 
tant parts  of  the  Expositor. 

But  Joe  was  furious.  A  theocracy  is  always  a  noli 
me  tangere  as  to  opposition  and  free  press  in  general, 
and  Joseph  had  especially  good  reasons  to  hate  the 
electric  light  of  the  press  in  his  skeleton-filled  museum. 
What,  oppose  and  expose  him  ?  Him  who  had  defied 
everything  and  everybody,  laws  and  courts,  sheriffs  and 
militia,  warrants  and  posses?  No,  that  nuisance  must  be 
abated.  Great  special  meeting  of  the  Nauvoo  city  coun- 
cil on  June  8.  •  Joseph,  then  mayor  —  since  Bennett's 
ungathering  from  Zion — thunders:  "I  WOULD  RATHER 

DIE    TO-MORROW    AND    HAVE    THAT    THING    SMASHED,    THAN 
LIVE  AND  HAVE  IT  GO  ON  !  " 

The  city  council,  a  nice  little  crowd  of  valets  de 
chambre  of  his  prophetic  highness,  hastens  to  pass  the 
decree  of  doom  on  the  nuisance.  Says  that  invaluable  lit- 
tle catechism  already  quoted  repeatedly : 

Q. — What  was  the  nature  of  the  contents  of  the  Expositor  ? 

A. — It  contained  all  manner  of  lies  and  abuse  of  Joseph  and  the 
Saints. 

Q. — What  did  the  city  council  do  in  regard  to  this  paper  ? 

A. — It  declared  it  a  nuisance  and  as  such  ordered  it  to  be  abated. 

Q. — How  was  the  order  carried  out? 

A. — The  city  marshal  and  several  policemen  threw  the  printing 
press,  etc.,  into  the  street  and  destroyed  them. 

Q._What  was  the  result  of  this  act  ? 

A. — It  caused  great  excitement  among  the  wicked,  and  they  sought 
the  life  of  Joseph  and  the  destruction  of  Nauvoo. 


The   Valiant  Salt  Lake  Tribune.  149 

This  is  the  way  theocracies  always  wrote  and  always 
will  write  their  history. 

The  city  council  does  the  prophet's  bidding  and  the 
police,  with  the  marshal  at  its  head,  storms  the  fortress 
of  modern  progress — a  printing  office.  I  see,  in  my 
mind's  eye,  our  pious,  zealous  churchman,  John  D.  Lee, 
work  like  mad  to  destroy  that  wicked  press  :  I  see  him 
break  a  crowbar  or  two,  to  please  the  Lord.  Have  things 
changed  in  our  days?.  No.  The  unterrified  Salt  Lake 
Tribune  is  as  well  hated  by  the  Mormon  leaders  as  the 
Expositor  was  hated  by  Joseph  and  his  creatures,  and  the 
present  city  marshal  and  his  Lees  would  be  only  too  hap- 
py to  be  ordered  to  abate  the  nuisance.  That  the  valiant 
paper  has  continued  so  long,  "belching  forth  all  manner 
of  lies  and  abuse  of  the  Saints,"  is  due  now  solely  to 
saintly  forbearance  and  magnanimity  ?  That  is  the  way 
Mormon  organs  and  leaders  put  it.  John  Taylor,  who 
was  then  editor  of  the  Times  and  Seasons  and  had  a  main 
hand  in  squelching  the  freedom  of  the  press  in  Nauvoo,  is 
most  forbearing  towards  this  infernal  "Expositor"  of  our 
days.  He  is  warned  by  his  prophet's  fate.  The  Nauvoo 
Expositor  and  the  Nauvoo  prophet  were  both  destroyed  in 
one  month.  A  free  press  is,  indeed,  a  most  outrageous 
and  horrible  nuisance.  It  is  the  mirror  of  the  public 
conscience,  the  little  stone  of  the  prophet's  dream,  you 
know,  that  shall  fill  the  whole  earth — awful,  awful — break- 
ing people  up,  playing  smash  with  the  biggest,  and  grind- 
ing to  powder  the  most  top-lofty  reputations  ! 

There  is  scarcely  any  history  of  Mormonism  without 
the  following  statement :  "  The  first  issue  (June  jth,  1844) 
contained  the  statement  of  sixteen  women,  that  Joseph  Smith 
or  other  Mormon  leaders  had  attempted  to  seduce  them  under 
the  plea  of  heavenly  permission  to  do  so"* 

Now,  this  statement  is  entirely  erroneous.  The  cele- 
brated and  short-lived  Expositor  contained  only  three  affi- 
davits and  only  one  of  those  three  comes  from  a  woman. 
Here  are  the  three  affidavits : 

*See  for  instance  Beadle,  Polygamy,/.  78. 


150  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

I. 

I  hereby  certify  that  Hyrum  Smith  did  (in  his  office)  read  to  me  a 
written  document,  which  he  said  was  a  revelation  from  God.  He 
said  that  he  was  with  Joseph  when  it  was  received.  He  afterwards 
gave  me  the  document  to  read,  and  I  took  it  to  my  house  and  read  it 
and  showed  it  to  my  wife  and  returned  it  next  day.  The  revelation 
(so  called)  authorized  certain  men  to  have  more  wives  than  one  at  a 
time,  in  this  world  and  in  the  world  to  come.  It  said  this  was  the 
law,  and  commanded  Joseph  to  enter  into  the  laiv.  And,  also,  that 
he  should  administer  to  others.  Several  other  items  were  in  the 
revelation,  supporting  the  above  doctrines. 

(Sworn  to  May  4,  1844.)  WM.  LAW. 

II. 

I  certify  that  I  read  the  revelation  referred  to  in  the  above  affidavit 
of  my  husband.  It  sustained  in  strong  terms  the  doctrine  of  more 
wives  than  one  at  a  time,  in  this  world  and  in  the  next.  It  authorized 
some  to  have  to  the  number  of  ten,  and  set  forth  that  those  women 
who  would  not  allow  their  husbands  more  wives  than  one  should  be 
under  condemnation  before  God. 

(Sworn  to  May  4,  1844.)  JANE  LAW. 

III. 

To  all  'whom  it  may  concern  : 

Forasmuch  as  the  public  mind  hath  been  much  agitated  by  a 
course  of  procedure  in  the  Church  of  J.  C.  of  L.  D.  S.,  by  a  number 
of  persons  declaring  against  certain  doctrines  and  practices  therein 
(among  whom  I  am  one),  it  is  but  meet  that  I  should  give  my  reasons, 
at  least  in  part,  as  a  cause  that  hath  led  me  to  declare  myself.  In  the 
latter  part  of  the  summer,  1843,  tne  patriarch,  Hyrum  Smith,  did,  in 
the  High  Council,  of  which  I  was  a  member,  introduce  what  he  said 
was  a  revelation  given  through  the  prophet;  that  the  said  Hyrum 
Smith  did  essay  to  read  the  said  revelation  in  the  said  Council ;  that 
according  to  his  reading  there  was  contained  the  following  doctrines : 
I.  The  sealing  up  of  persons  to  eternal  life,  against  all  sins,  save  that 
of  shedding  innocent  blood,  or  consenting  thereto;  2.  the  doctrine  of 
a  plurality  of  wives,  or  marrying  virgins ;  that  "  David  and  Solomon 
had  many  wives,  yet  in  this  thing  they  sinned  not,  save  in  the  matter 
of  LTriah."  This  revelation,  with  other  evidence  that  the  aforesaid 
heresies  were  taught  and  practiced  in  the  church,  determined  me  to 
leave  the  office  of  first  counselor  to  the  president  of  the  church  at 
Nauvoo,*  inasmuch  as  I  dared  not  to  teach  or  administer  such  laws. 

(Sworn  to  May  4,  1844.)  AUSTIN  COWLES. 

Those    three   are   all   the   affidavits  contained   in   the 
*  This  was  Wrrr,  Marks,  who  afterwards  joined  the  Josephites. 


The  Little  Celestial  Business  Office.  151 

celebrated  "Expositor,"  in  its  first  and  last  number,  of 
June  7,  1844.  But  there  are  other  pretty  things  in  it. 
Look  at  this  little  anecdote : 

"  Many  of  us  have  sought  a  reformation  in  the  church,  without  a 
public  exposition  of  the  enormities  and  crimes  practiced  by  its  leaders; 
but  our  petitions  were  treated  with  contempt,  and  in  many  cases  the 
petitioner  spurned  from  their  presence,  and  particularly  by  Joseph, 
who  would  state  that  if  he  had  sinned,  and  was  guilty  of  the  charges 
we  would  charge  him  with,  he  would  not  make  acknowledgment,  but 
would  rather  be  damned ;  for  it  would  detract  from  his  dignity,  and 
would  consequently  ruin  and  prove  the  overthrow  of  the  church  ;  he 
often  said  that  we  would  all  go  to  hell  together,  and  convert  it  into  a 
heaven  by  casting  the  Devil  out;  and,  says  he,  hell  is  by  no  means 
the  place  this  world  of  fools  supposed  it  to  be,  but  on  the  contrary,  it 
is  quite  an  agreeable  place"  .  .  . 

Could  Don  Juan  have  bettered  this  ?  But  there  is 
another  choice  bit  in  that  paper,  describing  Nauvoo  as  a 
very  dangerous  trap  for  innocent  females  : 

"  It  is  a  notorious  fact  that  many  females  in  foreign  climes  have 
been  induced  by  the  sound  of  the  gospel  to  forsake  friends  and  come 
over  the  water,  as  they  supposed,  to  glorify  God.  .  .  .  But  what  is 
taught  them  on  their  arrival  at  this  place  ?  They  are  visited  by  some 
of  the  strikers  and  are  requested  to  hold  on  and  be  faithful,  for  there  are 
great  blessings  awaiting  the  righteous;  and  that  God  has  great 
mysteries  in  store  for  those  who  love  the  Lord  and  cling  to  Brother 
Joseph.  They  are  also  notified  that  Brother  Joseph  will  see  them 
soon  and  reveal  the  mysteries  of  heaven  to  their  full  understanding, 
which  seldom  fails  to  inspire  them  with  new  confidence  in  the 
prophet,  as  well  as  a  great  anxiety  to  know  what  God  has  laid  up  in 
store  for  them,  in  return  for  the  great  sacrifice  of  father  and  mother, 
gold  and  silver.  .  .  .  They  are  visited  again.  They  are  requested  to 
meet  Brother  Joseph,  or  some  of  the  Twelve,  at  some  insulated  point, 
or  at  some  particularly  described  place  on  the  bank  of  the  Mississippi, 
or  at  some  room  which  bears  upon  its  front :  Positively  No  Admittance. 
The  unsuspecting  creatures  are  so  devoted  to  the  prophet  and  the 
cause  of  Jesus  Christ,  that  they  do  not  dream  of  the  deep-laid  scheme. 
They  meet  him  expecting  a  blessing  and  learn  the  will  of  the  Lord 
concerning  them,  when  instead  they  are  told,  after  having  been  sworn 
to  secrecy  in  the  most  solemn  manner,  with  a  penalty  *  of  death 
attached,  that  God  Almighty  has  revealed  it  to  him  that  she  should  be 
his  (Joseph's)  spiritual  wife,  for  it  was  right  anciently,  and  God  will 
tolerate  it  again  ;  but  we  must  keep  those  pleasures  and  blessings 
from  the  world,  for  until  there  is  a  change  in  the  government  we  will 
endanger  ourselves  by  practicing  it  —  if  we  do  not  expose  ourselves  to 
the  law  of  the  land.  She  is  thunderstruck,  faints,  recovers  and 


152  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

refuses.  The  prophet  damns  her  if  she  rejects.  She  thinks  of  the 
great  sacrifice,  and  of  the  many  thousand  miles  she  has  traveled  over 
sea  and  land  that  she  might  save  her  soul  from  ruin,  and  replies : 
*  God's  will  be  done,  and  not  mine.'  The  next  step,  to  avoid  public 
exposition,  from  the  common  course  of  things,  they  are  sent  away  for 
a  time  until  all  is  well,  after  which  they  return,  as  from  a  long  visit !  " 

Now  you  wouldn't  expect  the  prophet  to  subscribe  for 
such  an  infernal  sheet,  would  you?  And  you  wouldn't 
expect  either  that  he  would  display  it  in  his  hotel,  pre- 
serve it  with  care  all  the  year  through,  and  then  have  the 
file  nicely  bound  for  reference  ?  Oh  no,  Joseph  did  with 
the  Expositor  what  Taylor  and  Cannon  would  like  to  do 
with  the  Tribune  every  day  of  the  year,  if  they  dared. 
The  Prophet  promptly  destroyed  the  young  viper,  putting 
the  full  weight  of  his  heavy  foot  on  it. 

A  few  days  afterwards  he  had  to  go  to  Carthage, 
where  the  county  court  was.  He  had  very  grave  misgiv- 
ings about  that  trip,  this  mayor-prophet  and  general. 
His  temper  was  eminently  sanguine  and  kept  him  gener- 
ally on  top,  where  others  would  have  sunk,  but  this  time 
he  saw  the  coming  tempest.  He  had  moments  now 
when  he  cursed  his  own  folly.  "Joseph  repented  of  his 
connection  with  the  spiritual  wife  doctrine  and  said  that 
it  was  of  the  devil .  .  .  he  said  that  he  was  going  to  Car- 
thage to  die."  So  says  Sheen,  an  old  friend  of  the 
Prophet.  Ah,  pay-day  had  come  round  and  Joseph 
felt  it. 

"There  are  sins  which  can  only  be  atoned  by  the 
shedding  of  blood."  Didn't  you  say  so  often,  brother 
Brigham  ?  Verily,  there  are  ! 


The  Martyr  and  His  Revolver.  153 

THE   LYNCHING   OF   JOSEPH  SMITH. 


The  Scene  in  Carthage  Jail — Death  of  Hyrum  Smith — 
A  Fighting  Lamb  —  Execution  of  the  Prophet  —  His 
Last  Miracle— The  "Expositor"  Once  More— The 
Dissenters1  Prospectus  of  May  10  1844 — Stern  Pro- 
test Against  Theocracy  —  The  Godbeites  of  1844  — 
Protest  Against  Danitism  and  Endowments  —  A 
Nauvoo  Trial — Lee  Babbles  Again — Review  of  Jos- 
eph s  Career  and  Character — A  Vision  of  Joseph 's 
Monument — Calvary  and  Carthage. 


Joseph  Smith  died  in  good  western  style,  with  his 
boots  on.  The  circumstances  of  the  prophet's  "martyr- 
dom" were  of  a  highly  dramatic  character.  Says  an 
eye-witness : 

"  Elder  John  Taylor  had  been  singing  a  hymn.  From  this  pleas- 
ant communion  they  were  aroused  by  curses,  threats  and  the  heavy 
and  fierce  rush  of  the  mob  up  the  stairs.  Hyrum  stood  near  the 
center  of  the  room,  in  front  of  the  door.  The  mob  fired  a  ball 
through  the  panel  of  the  door,  which  entered  Hyrum's  head,  at  the 
left  side  of  his  nose.  He  fell  upon  his  back  exclaiming :  '  I  am  a 
d?ad  man  !  '  In  all,  four  balls  entered  his  body.  One  ball  (it  must 
have  been  fired  through  the  window  from  the  outside)  passed  through 
his  body  with  such  force — entering  his  back — that  it  completely  broke 
to  pieces  a  watch  which  he  wore  in  his  vest  pocket. 

"  A  shower  of  balls  were  poured  through  all  parts  of  the  room.  A 
few  hours  previous  to  this  a  friend  of  General  Joseph  Smith  put  in  his 
possession  a  revolving  pistol  with  six  chambers,  usually  called  a  *  pep- 
per box.'  With  this  in  hand  he  took  a  position  by  the  wall  at  the 
left  of  the  door.  Joseph  reached  his  pistol  through  the  door,  which 
was  pushed  a  little  ajar,  and  fired  three  of  the  barrels,  the  rest  missed 
fire.  He  wounded  three  of  the  assailants,  two  mortally." 

That  revolver  in  the  hand -of  the  "lamb  that  goes  to 
the  slaughter"  is  highly  characteristic.  That  Joseph 
fired  three  shots,  is  true.  As  to  wounding  anybody,  still 
less  mortally,  I  have  no  proof.  Mr.  Webb  says  he  never 
heard  of  it. 


154  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

"  Elder  Taylor  took  a  position  beside  the  door  with  Elder  Rich- 
ards and  parried  off  their  muskets  with  walking  sticks,  as  they  were 
firing.  Elder  Taylor  continued  parrying  their  guns,  until  they  had 
got  them  about  half  the  length  into  the  room,  when  he  found  resist- 
ance vain  and  attempted  to  jump  out  of  the  window.  Just  then  a 
ball  from  within  struck  him  on  the  left  thigh.  He  fell  on  the  window- 
sill  and  expected  he  would  fall  out,  when  a  ball  from  without  struck 
his  watch  and  threw  him  back  into  the  room.  Elder  Richards  was 
still  contending  with  the  assailants  at  the  door,  when  General  Joseph 
Smith  dropped  his  pistol  upon  the  floor,  saying  :  '  There,  defend 
yourselves  as  well  as  you  can.'  He  sprang  into  the  window,  but  just 
as  he  was  preparing  to  descend,  he  saw  such  an  array  of  bayonets 
below  that  he  caught  by  the  window  casing,  where  he  hung  by  his 
hands  and  feet,  his  body  swinging  downwards.  He  hung  in  that 
position  three  or  four  minutes,  during  which  time  he  exclaimed,  two 
or  three  times,  <O  Lord,  my  God  ! '  and  fell  to  the  ground.  While  he 
was  hanging  in  that  position,  Colonel  Williams  halloed  :  '  Shoot  him  ! 
God  damn  him  !  shoot  the  damned  rascal !  '  However,  none  fired 
at  him." 

•  While  looking  out  of  the  window,  or  while  hanging 
suspended  by  it,  Joseph  cried,  "Is  there  no  help  for  the 
widow's  son?"  One  of  the  prophet's  spiritual  wives, 
Zina  Huntingdon  (see  about  her,  pp.  67,  70)  gave  this 
detail  in  a  packed  public  meeting  in  Brigham's  theatre, 
some  years  ago.  Joseph's  cry  was  an  appeal  to  the 
Masons,  whom  he  had  betrayed  and  who  were  surely 
rather  infuriated  than  calmed  by  this  appeal. 

"Joseph  seemed  to  fall  easily.  He  struck  partly  on  his  right 
shoulder  and  back,  his  neck  and  head  reaching  the  ground  a  little 
before  his  feet.  He  rolled  instantly  on  his  face.  From  this  position 
he  was  taken  by  a  young  man  who  sprang  to  him  from  the  other  side 
of  the  fence,  who  had  a  pewter  fife  in  hand,  was  barefoot  and  bare- 
headed, having  on  no  coat,  with  his  pants  rolled  above  his  knees,  and 
shirt-sleeves  above  his  elbows,  lie  set  Smith  against  the  south  side 
of  the  well-curb  that  was  situated  a  few  feet  from  the  jail.  While 
doing  this,  he  muttered  aloud:  'This  is  old  Jo;  I  know  him.  I 
know  you,  old  Jo  ;  damn  you !  '  When  Smith  began  to  recover  from 
the  effects  of  the  fall,  Colonel  Williams  ordered  four  men  to  shoot 
him.  Accordingly,  four  men  took  an  eastern  direction,  about  eight 
feet  from  the  curb,  and  made  ready  to  execute  the  order.  The  fire 
was  simultaneous.  A  slight  cringe  of  the  body  was  all  the  indication 
of  pain  that  he  betrayed  when  the  balls  struck  him.  He  fell  upon 
his  face.  I  was  close  by  him,  and  I  know  that  he  was  not  hit  with  a 
ball  until  after  he  was  seated  by  the  well-curb.  The  murder  took 
place  at  fifteen  minutes  past  five  o'clock  p.  m.,  June  27,  1844." 


A  Brutal  Scene  and  a  False  Miracle.  155 

Now  comes  a  little  pious  lie  to  show  up  the  Messianic 
character  of  the  peeper.  The  "  Lord  "  had  looked  on 
quietly  while  His  servant  was  hanging  to  the  window-sill, 
and  while  the  mob  were  shooting  him,  but  now  He  finds 
it's  time  to  work  a  little  miracle  : 

"  The  ruffian  who  set  him  against  the  well-curb  now  secured  a 
bowie  knife  for  the  purpose  of  severing  his  head  from  the  body.  He 
raised  the  knife,  and  was  in  the  attitude  of  striking,  when  a  light, 
sudden  and  powerful,  burst  from  the  heavens,  passing  its  vivid  chain 
between  Joseph  and  his  murderers;  that  they  were  struck  with  awe 
and  filled  with  consternation.  The  arm  of  the  ruffian  who  held  the 
knife  fell  powerless ;  the  muskets  of  the  four  who  fired  fell  to  the 
ground,  and  they  all  stood  like  marble  statues,  not  having  power  to 
move  a  single  limb  of  their  bodies.  By  this  time  most  of  the  men  had 
fled  in  great  disorder.  I  never  saw  so  frightened  a  set  of  men  before. 
Colonel  Williams  saw  the  light  and  was  also  badly  frightened,  but  he 
did  not  entirely  lose  the  use  of  his  limbs  or  speech.  Seeing  the  condi- 
tion of  these  men,  he  halloed  to  some  who  had  just  commenced  to 
retreat,  for  God's  sake  to  come  and  carry  off  these  men.  They  came 
back  and  carried  them  by  main  strength  towards  the  baggage  wagons. 
They  seemed  as  helpless  as  if  they  were  dead." 

I  need  scarcely  say  that  no  Gentile  witnessed  this  mir- 
acle; they  are  not  made  for  the  eyes  of  the  wicked,  those 
miracles,  but  are  just  like  the  apparitions  of  angels,  golden 
plates,  etc.;  they  belong  to  the  />^<2r/-order,  so  you  had 
better  move  aside,  you  Gentile  hogs.  We  will  now  com- 
pare this  Mormon  tale  with  the  statement  of  the  young 
"  border  ruffian  "  from  Iowa,  who  set  Joseph  against  the 
well-curb  :  * 

"  When  I  got  to  him  [Joseph]  he  was  trying  to  get  up.  He 
appeared  stunned  by  the  fall.  I  struck  him  in  the  face  and  said  :  'Old 
Joe,  damn  you,  where  are  you  now?  '  I  then  set  him  up  against  the 
well-curb  and  went  away  from  him." 

The  name  of  the  youth  is  Wm.  Web.  He  is  apparently 
one  of  the  Sansculottes,  always  springing  up  in  times  of 
popular  excitement.  I  would  not  like  to  sleep  in  the  same 
room  with  that  fellow,  neither  would  you,  my  gentle 
reader,  I  guess.  The  whole  crowd  that  concocted  and 
enacted  the  tragedy  is  not  at  all  to  my  taste.  Suppose  we 

*  See  both  statements  in  full  in  "The  Martyrs,"  by  Lyman  O.  Lit- 
tlefield,  1882. 


156  Mormon  Portraits.— I.  Joseph  Smith. 

had  been  in  Rome  at  the  time  that  Julius  Caesar  was  killed, 
we  would  most  probably  not  have  felt  like  embracing  his 
murderers,  though  Brutus  is  surely  one  of  the  noblest  fig- 
ures in  history.  There  is  always  something  revolting  in  a 
man's  taking  the  law  in  his  own  hands  :  streaming  blood 
is  a  terrible  accuser.  Charles- 1.  was  a  sinful,  treacherous 
king,  but  his  bloody  spectre  will  always  stand  near  the 
great  figure  of  Cromwell.  But  have  we  the  right  to  be 
sentimental  and,  because  we  detest  deeds  of  violence  and 
brutality,  close  our  eye£  to  the  causes  which,  with  stringent 
need,  produced  them?  Are  we  justified  in  saying,  with  a 
recent  writer,  that  the  killing  of  Joseph  was  one  of  the 
most  disgraceful  murders  ever  committed  ?  It  may  well 
be  urged  that  lynching  is  disgraceful  in  itself — I  have 
nothing  to  do  with  that  point,  and  wish  to  leave  it  aside. 
The  assassination  of  Joseph  Smith  was  surely  no  common 
murder,  no  act  of  private  vengeance ;  it  was  a  violent 
manifestation  of  the  vox  populi,  the  execution  of  a  most 
dangerous  criminal  by  the  people.  The  men  who  did  it 
were  entirely  right  /;/  their  view  of  the  character  of  their 
man.  This  is  the  only  side  ol  the  question  I  feel  justified 
in  dealing  with. 

Let  us  first  look  at  the  nearest  cause  of  the  tragedy, 
the  destruction  of  the  Expositor  office.  Put  yourself  in 
the  place  of  the  editors  of  that  sheet,  and  would  it  surprise 
you  if  they  had  prepared  a  bomb  filled  with  scores  of 
scandalous  anecdotes  and  the  most  scathing  abuse  ? 
They  surely  did  not  lack  that  kind  of  matter,  and  they 
had  a  good  example  in  the  little  book  of  Dr.  John  C. 
Bennett.  He  acted  against  Joe  as  my  friend  Henri 
Rochefort  acted  against  the  little  nephew  of  the  great 
Napoleon  in  his  Lanterne.  Mormon  writers,  to  palliate 
Joseph's  proceeding  against  the  new-born  weekly,  describe 
the  Expositor  as  such  a  poisonous  sheet.  We  have  already 
heard  the  opinion  of  the  little  Catechism  about  it.  Mr. 
Littlefield  verdantly  remarks  in  his  pamphlet,  "The  Mar- 
tyrs "  :  "They  [the  editors  of  the  Expositor}  knew  that 
establishing  a  libelous  and  venal  newspaper  would  not  be 
agreeable  to  Joseph ;  hence  a  paper  of  that  class  was 
started.  Its  columns  teemed  with  vituperative  abuse  of 


Governor  Murray  and  Editor  Goodwin.          157 

Joseph  and  his  friends.  The  tone  of  the  sheet  was  vul- 
gar, scurrilous  and  untruthful.  The  people  felt  themselves 
outraged." 

The  reader  has  already  convinced  himself  that  the 
Expositor  was  nothing  of  the  kind.  It  was  rather  a  timid 
and  gentle  kind  of  opposition  sheet,  quite  cautious  and 
guarded  and  modest.  On  the  loth  of  May  the  editors 
had  issued  their  prospectus.  Among  the  things  they  pro- 
posed to  advocate  were : 

"  The  unconditional  repeal  of  the  charter  of  Nauvoo, 
to  restrain  and  correct  the  abuses  of  the  UNIT  POWER,  to 
ward  off  the  rod  which  is  held  over  the  devoted  heads  of 
the  citizens  of  Nauvoo  and  the  surrounding  country,  to 
advocate  unmitigated  DISOBEDIENCE  TO  POLITICAL  REVE- 
LATION, to  advocate  and  exercise  the  FREEDOM  OF  SPEECH 
in  Nauvoo,  independent  of  the  ordinance  abridging  the 
same — to  give  toleration  to  every  man's  religious  senti- 
ments and  sustain  ALL  in  worshiping  their  God  according 
to  the  monitions  of  their  consciences,  as  guaranteed  by 
the  Constitution  of  our  country,  and  to  oppose  with  un- 
compromising hostility  any  UNION  OF  CHURCH  AND  STATE 

OR  ANY  PRELIMINARY  STEPS  TENDING  TO  THE  SAME." 

Is  there  a  citizen's  heart  in  this  immense,  free  country, 
without  an  echo  to  such  words  ?  Could  free  citizens 
express  better  sentiments,  and  could  it  be  done  in  more 
decent  and  dignified  language  ?  Is  this  not  absolutely 
the  same  cry  for  justice,  coming  since  so  many  years  from 
the  lips  and  pens  of  every  true  American  citizen  in  the 
Territory  of  Utah,  and  resounding  so  nobly  from  the 
official  acts  of  Governor  Murray,  and  the  writings  of  one 
of  the  most  able  and  fearless  editors  of  this  country, 
Judge  Goodwin  ? 

The  first  and  last  number  of  the  Expositor,  dated  June 
7,  1844,  was  just  as  temperate  and  truthful  as  the  pros- 
pectus, issued  four  weeks  before.  The  editors  of  the 
paper,  as  will  be  seen,  acted  as  Godbe  and  his  friends  did 
twenty-five  years  later,  with  the  same  danger  to  their 
lives  and  property.  Their  motto  was  not  subversion,  but 
purification  of  Mormonism  and  the  desire  to  harmonize  it 


158  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

with  modern  civilization,  with  individual  freedom  of 
thought  and  action.  .Says  the  Expositor : 

"  The  editors  believe  that  the  religion  of  the  Latter-day  Saints,  as 
originally  taught  by  Joseph  Smith,  which  is  contained  in  the  Old  and 
New  Testaments,  Book  of  Covenants,  and  Book  of  Mormon,  is  VERILY 
TRUE.  But  with  Joseph  Smith,  and  many  other  official  characters  in 
the  church,  faith,  hope,  virtue  and  charity  are  words  without  mean- 
ings attached.  We  hope  many  items  of  doctrine,  as  now  taught,  some 
of  which,  however,  are  taught  secretly  and  denied  openly,  and  others 
publicly,  considerate  men  will  treat  with  contempt.  We  are  earnestly 
seeking  to  explode  the  vicious  principles  of  Joseph  Smith  and  those 
who  practice  the  same  abominations  and  whoredoms.  The  sword  of 
truth  shall  not  depart  from  the  thigh  until  we  can  enjoy  those  glorious 
privileges  which  nature's  God  and  our  country's  laws  have  guaranteed 
to  us — freedom  of  speech,  the  liberty  of  the  press,  and  the  right  to 
worship  God  as  seemeth  us  good.  We  are  aware  that  we  are 
hazarding  every  earthly  blessing,  particularly  property,  and  probably 
life  itself.  ..." 

Is  this  libelous  and  venal  ?  Is  it  vulgar,  scurrilous  and 
untruthful,  or  is  it  the  essence  of  sobriety  and  dignity, 
compared  with  Joseph's  piratical  expressions,  that  he 
would  rather  be  damned  than  confess  his  sins,  and  that 
they  would  all  go  to  hell  together,  cast  the*  Devil  out, 
etc.?  Is  it  not  all  most  truthful  in  the  light  of  facts  pub- 
lished in  this  volume  ?  and  is  it  not  extremely  moderate, 
coming  from  men  who  knew  ten  times  more  of  the 
abominations  practiced  in  Nauvoo  than  I  do?  But  hear 
the  Expositor  further : 

"  We  protest  against  the  doctrine  of  unconditional  sealing  up  to 
eternal  life  against  all  crimes  except  that  of  shedding  innocent  blood. 

.  .  .  We  disapprobate  every  attempt  to  unite  church  and  State,  the 
effort  being  made  by  Joseph  Smith  for  POLITICAL  POWER  and  influ- 
ence. .  .  .  We  protest  against  the  hostile  spirit  and  conduct  manifested 
by  Joseph  Smith  and  many  of  his  associates  towards  MISSOURI.  ,  .  . 
We  hold  that  all  church-members  are  alike  amenable  to  the  laws  of 
the  land.  .  .  .  We  consider  the  religious  influence  exercised  in 
financial  concerns  by  Joseph  Smith  unjust.  .  .  .  We  consider  the 
gathering  (to  Zion)  in  haste  and  by  sacrifice,  to  be  contrary  to  the 
will  of  God  ;  it  has  been  taught  by  Joseph  Smith  and  others  for  the 
purpose  of  selling  property  at  most  exorbitant  prices.  .  .  .  The  wealth 
which  is  brought  to  this  place  is  swallowed  up  by  the  one  great  throat. 

.  .  .  The  monies  collected  by  missionaries  sent  abroad,  for  the 
temple  and  other  purposes,  are  a  humbug  practiced  by  Joseph  and 
others,  as  we  do  not  believe  that  the  monies  and  property  so  collected 


A    Weekly   Guillotine.  159 

have  been  applied  as  the  donors  expected.  .  .  .  Joseph  buying  the 
lands  near  Nauvoo  and  selling  them  to  the  saints  at  tenfold  advance. 
.  .  .  We  consider  all  SECRET  SOCIETIES  under  PENAL  OATHS  and 
OBLIGATIONS  to  be  anti-Christian.  .  .  .  That  we  will  not  acknowledge 
any  man  as  KING  or  law-giver  to  the  church,  for  Christ  is  King.  .  .  . 
We  protest  against  the  SPOILING  OF  THE  GENTILES." 

The  bare  fact  that  Joseph  could  not  stand  more  than 
one  number  of  this  little  paper,  shows  how  true  its  allega- 
tions were;  and  don't  they  put  it  home,  Messrs.  Brutus 
and  Cassius  Law  ?  The  complaint  about  Joseph's  traf- 
ficking for  political  power,  the  incendiary  attacks  on 
Missouri,  all  the  while  belched  forth  in  Mormon 
"sermons"  and  papers,  the  Danite  and  endowment 
oaths,  the  robberies  practiced  on  non-Mormons — is  it  not 
all  simple  truth,  and  decently  and  manfully  expressed  ? 
Was  it  not  cheap,  after  all,  at  $2  per  annum,  and  with  a 
fine  noVel  in  the  bargain,  "  Adelaine,  or  the  Two 
Suitors ' '  ? 

There  is  a  little  line  in  this  first  Expositor  number 
that  made  the  "ruler  over  many  things"  feel  a  good 
deal  worse  than  his  Lord  had  felt  over  the  white  sheep. 
It  is  this  :  "In  our  subsequent  numbers  several  affidavits 
will  be  published  to  substantiate  the  facts  alleged."  It  is 
bad  enough  to  be  killed  once ;  but  to  be  told  that  you 
will  be  beheaded  once  a  week,  fifty-two  times  in  the 
year  —  that  was  a  good  deal  worse  than  Emma's  resistance 
against  the  law  of  Sarah.  The  high  spirits  of  Mine 
Anointed  were  gone ;  nothing  pleased  him  any  more,  not 
even  the  works  of  Abraham.  That  sacred  log  near  the 
river  must  have  felt  deserted  and  melancholy.  No  more 
talk  about  all  the  women.  I  doubt  if  the  prophet  could 
have  got  sealed  to  more  than  half  a  dozen  new  wives 
between  June  7  and  27;  times  were  too  squally. 

One  of  the  minor  conspirators,  Higbee.  went  to  Car- 
thage and  made  a  complaint  before  the  justice  of  the 
peace.  The  constable  came  to  Nauvoo,  and  immediately 
the  usual  comedy  was  enacted.  Joseph  had  built  a  sort  of 
unconquerable  castle  of  charters  and  ordinances.  When- 
ever he  or  one  of  his  friends  was  accused,  the  case  was 
brought  before  the  municipal  court  of  Nauvoo,  of  which 


160  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  prophet  was  president  by  virtue  of  his  office  as  mayor. 
That  court  had  power  to  grant  writs  of  habeas  corpus,  and 
to  decide  as  to  the  merits  of  any  case.  What  else  could 
such  a  proceeding  be  but  a  most  contemptible  farce? 
Judge  the  Pope  by  a  court  of  twelve  common  monks  ! 
Says  Mr.  Littlefield : 

"  It  was  decided  by  the  Court  that  Joseph  Smith  had  acted  under 
proper  authority  in  destroying  the  establishment  of  the  Nauvoo  Ex- 
positor ;  that  his  orders  were  executed  in  an  orderly  and  judicious 
manner,  with otit  noise  or  tumult;  that  this  was  a  malicious  persecu- 
tion on  the  part  of  F.  M.  Higbee,  and  that  said  Higbee  pay  costs  of 
suit,  and  that  Joseph  Smith  be  honorably  discharged  from  the  accus- 
ation of  the  writ  and  go  hence  without  delay.  The  other  [seventeen] 
brethren  were  arrested  the  next  day,  and  they  also  petitioned  and 
obtained  a  writ  of  habeas  corpus  and  we're  tried  before  the  municipal 
court  on  that  day ;  and,  after  witnesses  had  been  examined  as  in  the 
case  of  Joseph,  they  were  all  honorably  discharged  from  the  accusa- 
tions and  arrests.  The  court  decided  that  Higbee  pay  the  costs  of 
the  suits." 

The  "orderly  and  judicious  manner,  without  noise 
or  tumult,"  is  intensely  funny.  Says  Lee*  the  great  ad- 
mirer of  the  prophet  : 

"  The  printing  press  and  the  grocery  of  Higbee  &  Foster  were 
declared  nuisances  and  ordered  to  be  destroyed.  The  owners  refused 
to  comply  with  the  decision  of  the  city  council,  and  the  mayor  [Joe] 
ordered  the  press  and  type  destroyed,  which  was  done. .  The  owner 
of  the  grocery  employed  John  Eagle,  a  regular  bully,  and  others  to 
defend  it.  As  the  police  entered,  or  attempted  to  enter,  Eagle  stood 
in  the  door  and  knocked  three  of  them  down.  As  the  third  one  fell 
the  prophet  struck  Eagle  under  the  ear  and  brought  him  sprawling  to 
the  ground.  He  then  crossed  Eagle's  hands  and  ordered  them  to  be 
tied,  saying  that  he  could  not  see  his  men  knocked  down  while  in 
the  line  of  their  duty,  without  protecting  them." 

What  a  truly  formidable  "lamb!"  A  lamb  worth 
six  policemen,  at  the  very  lowest.  It  would  have  been  a 
match  for  Sullivan,  that  lamb.  It  was  too  weak  for 
work,  but  as  to  knocking  down  a  fellow  and  enjoying  any 
amount  of  comfortable  living  and  pleasure,  there  was  no 
end  of  endurance  in  that  lamb. 

Let  us  return  to  the  sad  scene  in  the  yard  of  Carthage 
jail.  A  twenty  years'  career  of  deception  and  crime  has 

*  Confession,  p.  153. 


Career  of  a   Great  Criminal.  1 6 1 

been  concluded.  The  citizens  of  Illinois  had  found  out 
the  impostor,  law-breaker  and  conspirator,  just  as  the  cit- 
izens of  Ohio  and  Missouri  had  done.  Twelve  years 
before,  he  and  Rigdon  had  been 'tarred  and  feathered  by 
outraged  citizens  in  Ohio ;  six  years  before,  the  same 
founders  of  the  new  gospel  had  to  flee  for  their  lives  from 
Kirtland,  hotly  pursued  by  the  victims  of  their  swindles; 
a  few  months  afterward  the  "  commander-in-chief  of  the 
armies  of  Israel"  barely  escaped  military  execution  in 
Missouri  for  armed  rebellion  and  crimes  of  all  kinds. 

The  criminal  career  of  the  impostor  had  been  con- 
stantly widening,  and  his  schemes,  all  calculated  to  be  a 
profit  to  himself  and  an  injury  to  all  others,  had  constantly 
become  deeper  and  more  systematic.  Originally  bent  on 
living  without  work,  he  concludes  by  trying  to  become  a 
millionaire ;  originally  seducing  a  poor  girl,  now  and 
then,  he  finally  wants  all  the  women  he  sees ;  originally 
the  ruler  of  a  handful  of  fanatics,  he  finally  dreams  of  an 
empire;  originally  intent  on  making  a  little  speculation 
with  the  Gold  Bible,  he  turns  the  small  fraud  into  a 
gigantic  one  by  pretending  to  be  a  prophet  and  insep- 
arable friend  and  mouthpiece  of  the  Almighty,  and 
superior  to  the  old  prophets  and  apostles.  Every  success 
in  crime  makes  him  wish  for  more  in  the  same  line ;  the 
sight  of  a  hundred  dupes  creates  the  desire  to  dupe 
thousands,  and  finally  the  whole  world,  with  visions, 
revelations  and  translations. 

The  impostor  aggravates  his  crimes  by  heartless  sneers 
at  those  who  have  been  useful  to  him  arid  are  so  no  more. 
His  laugh  at  the  damned  fools  he  has  fixed  becomes 
speedily  a  threat  of  murder  to  those  who  refuse  to  join 
him  in  his  criminal  schemes.  Not  content  to  commit 
crimes  himself,  he  educates  large  masses  of  a  dangerously 
ignorant  and  fanatic  kind  systematically  to  become 
despisers  and  breakers  of  political  and  social  laws.  To 
his*  pernicious  teachings  he  adds  the  most  dangerous 
element  of  profound  secrecy,  terrible  oaths  and  punish- 
ments. He  tempts  men  by  pandering  to  their  basest 
instincts,  and,  worst  of  all,  covers  all  his  open  and  secret 
wrongs  with  the  mantle  of  religion.  He  exasperates  the 


1 62  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

peaceful  inhabitants  of  Ohio,  Missouri  and  Illinois  by 
impudently  "consecrating"  their  homes  and  property, 
and  by  depriving  them  of  all  legitimate  political  power, 
wherever  he  and  his  fanatics  are  in  the  majority.  He 
makes  them  feel  that  he  is  capable  of  any  deed  of  violence, 
any  dark  scheme,  and  that  the  only  obstacles  that  separate 
him  from  his  ends  are  not  conscience,  law  and  duty,  but 
want  of  opportunity  and  fear  of  defeat.  He  makes  them 
feel  that,  as  a  body,  his  followers  are  not  only  a  dark 
cloud  of  ravenous  locusts,  but  a  band  of  desperadoes, 
knowing  no  law  but  the  command  of  their  brigand  chiefs, 
and  not  hesitating  to  help  each  other  in  any  emergency, 
be  it  with  a  club,  knife  or  gun  in  a  skirmish,  be  it  with 
hard  false  swearing  in  court. 

But  is  there  no  law,  are  there  no  judges,  are  there  no 
juries  ?  Sure  enough,  there  are  lots  of  those  splendid  in- 
stitutions, but  they  don't  always  work  as  they  should.  You 
have  read  of  old  Scrooge,  that  bad  weather  did  not  know 
where  to  have  him?  Well,  the  law  didn't  know  where  to 
have  the  prophet.  From  the  beginning  of  this  "  church," 
blind  obedience  has  drowned  ordinary  conscience  in  its 
followers ;  blind  obedience  has  always  had  this  result  and 
always  will  have.  This  unconditional  serfdom  always  in- 
sured on  Joseph's  side  any  amount  of  exculpating  witnesses, 
alibi's,  entire  ignorance  of  facts,  and,  if  need  be,  perjury. 
Add  to  this,  that  juries  and  judges  can  be  intimidated  in 
certain  cases :  many  a  good  jnan  doesn't  want  his  cattle 
to  be  stolen  and  his  house  to  be  burned  just  for  the  satis- 
faction of  having  found  guilty  a  petty  thief.  And  when 
Joseph's  political  power  was  growing,  he  used  it  not  only 
to  steal  into  unheard-of  city  charters,  he  used  it  on  all- 
weak  representatives  of  the  law,  among  whom,  just  as  to- 
day, were  many  demagogues  looking  out  for  office. 
Besides,  Joseph  was  never  sparing  of  the  money  of  his 
dupes,  where  he  could  employ  legal  talent  to  save  his 
prophetic  hide.  I  have  seen  statements  of  very  large 
sums  spent  in  this  way,  and  money  went  no  doubt  very 
often  to  bribe  witnesses  or  spirit  them  off.  In  this 
manner  the  fact  that  he  was  tried  and  aquitted  about  forty 
times  is  easily  explained. 


Joseph  the   Original,   Brigham  the   Copy.          163 

Now,  Judge  Lynch  is  an  eminently  practical  gentle- 
man, with  a  very  small  amount  of  regard  for  technical 
niceties,  and  with  a  fell  resolve  to  lose  as  little  time  as 
possible.  This  latter  characteristic  may  be  explained  by 
the  total  absence  of  any  fee-system  observable  in  this 
branch  of  justice.  Judge  Lynch  doesn't  want  any  office  ; 
he  measures  neither  a  man's  political  influence,  nor  his 
pocket — he  measures  only  his  neck,  so  as  to  limit  the  ex- 
penses for  rope,  etc.,  with  a  high  sense  of  economy,  as  far 
as  compatible  with  decency  and  efficiency.  In  the  case  of 
"Generals"  Joseph  and  Hyrum  Smith  some  extra  outlay 
for  powder  and  balls  was  readily  allowed,  the  military 
rank  of  the  delinquents  justifying  fully  such  extravagance, 
not  to  speak  of  their  yet  higher  rank  as  prophets,  seers 
and  revelators. 

Good-bye,  Joseph  and  Hyrum  !  Your  bloody  end 
fills  me  with  something  like  awe,  and  with  a  certain  sym- 
pathy for  you.  Your  manner  of  death  was  not  altogether 
unworthy  of  braver  and  better  men  than  you  were.  I  am 
not  naturally  given  to  hating  people,  and  I  might  even 
feel  a  gentle  stirring  of  something  like  sympathy  for  the 
most  cunning  of  rascals  and  murderers,  Brigham  Young, 
had  he  finished  on  the  end  of  a  rope  instead  of  dying 
comfortably  by  dysentery.  You,  Joe  Smith,  were  an  orig- 
inal, and  will,  as  such,  always  claim  the  warm  interest  of 
artistic  gentlemen  like  myself.  Brigham  was  only  your 
copy,  Joe ;  he  stole  your  church  and  kingdom  ideas,  and 
made  a  vast  and  cold  system  of  robbery  and  murder  out  of 
them.  Your  passions  made  a  splendid  harlequin  of  you — 
he  was  too  cold,  too  cunning,  too  avaricious  to  lose  his 
head  ;  for  if  there  is  an  expensive  thing  it's  a  craze.  You 
are  intensely  funny  ;  Brigham  never  had  the  merit  of  be- 
ing ridiculous.  You  were  an  irregular  bandit,  he  was  a 
methodical  Shylock  ;  you  were  amusing,  he  is  tedious  ;  you 
are  interesting.,  he  is  only  detestable. 

Yes,  Joe,  you  will  live  in  the  memory  of  mankind-as  a 
grand  harlequin,  when  Brigham,  the  great  scoundrel,  will 
be  long  forgotten.  You  are  the  boss  juggler  and  con- 
jurer of  the  age.  Your  gold  plates,  your  mysterious  book, 
your  peep-stone,  your  sword  of  Laban  and  breast-plate, 


164  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

your  uniform,  your  titles,  your  white  dog  and  your  bleed- 
ing Spaniard,  your  banking  sand-boxes,  your  "Lord,"  your 
house  of  boarding,  your  log  on  the  river,  your  little  room 
for  the  celestial  business,  your  oil-bottle — was  there  ever 
a  choice  little  outfit  like  this?  Why,  Joe,  I  assure  you,  I 
felt  tired  at  Barnum's  in  half  an  hour,  but  in  the  galleries 
of  your  Vatican  I  feel  good  since  many  months.  No, 
don't  blush,  it  is  no  compliment.  I  speak  the  truth. 
You  will  stand  out  in  history  a  grand  figure  with  your  face 
in  the  hat  and  the  stone  in  the  hat.  Sculptors  will  have 
no  difficulty  in  designing  your  monuments.  I  see  a  statue 
of  yours  right  before  my  mind's  eye,  your  right  foot  on 
the  neck  of  a  tax-collector,  your  right  fist  behind  the  ear 
of  bully  John  Eagle,  your  left  holding  the  little  oil  bottle. 
I  see  the  shining  gold  letters  of  the  pedestal :  "  Do  ye  the 
works  of  Abraham,"  or,  "It  is  your  privilege  to  have  all 
the  wives  you  want,"  or,  "Where  is  the  rest  of  it?" 
and  the  little  bas  reliefs  on  the  pedestal  of  your  monu- 
ment— oh,  I  wish  I  could  resurrect  Benvenuto  Cellini  to 
work  them.  I  see  the  immaculate  white  dog  and  the 
bleeding  Spanish  ghost ;  I  see  you  kneeling  in  the  corn- 
field and  praying  with  all  the  fervor  of  a  new-born  Meth- 
odist ;  I  see  you  taking  a  handful  of  fifty-cent  pieces  and 
covering  carefully  the  sand  in  the  boxes  at  Kirtland;  I  see 
the  new  Abraham,  your  excellent  father,  holding  a  rod 
and  surrounded  by  innumerable  chests  of  money ;  I  see 
your  little  mother,  holding  in  either  hand  a  big,  three- 
cornered  diamond ;  I  see  cunning  little  Bennett,  asking 
for  Orson  Pratt's  rifle,  and  then  there  he  is  again,  with 
something  "  hid  up"  in  his  left  sleeve.  I  see  all  those 
things  worked  admirably  in  lustrous  bronze  and  set  in 
marble,  just  as  the  three-cornered  diamonds  were  set  in 
glass.  And  far  beyond  all  mundane  effigies,  I  see  thee  a 
god,  Joe,  in  the  celestial  kingdom,  your  white  hat  shin- 
ing and  radiant  like  the  morning  sun ;  and  thou  sittest 
smiling  betwixt  the  two  Abrahams.  The  Lord  steps  up 
to  ye>  arm  in  arm  with  David  Patten,  and  thou  hast,  all 
of  you,  a  glorious  chat  about  the  good  old  Nauvoo  times. 
Mormonism  produces  not  only  great  prophets,  it  gives 
us  great  writers,  too,  and  more  especially  poets  and  his- 


Four  Maxims  of  "Our  Holy  Religion"         165 

torians.  Let  me  recommend  to  you,  before  all,  Edward 
Tullidge,  Esq.,  for  love  of  truth,  just  comparisons,  and 
graphic  power  in  general.  Says  this  passionately  vera- 
cious historian,  of  Joseph's  death: 

"  Thus  lived,  and  labored  and  loved  and  died  the  martyr  prophet 
of  the  nineteenth  century.  Thus  flashed  athwart  the  black  midnight 
of  this  age  the  light  of  the  latter  days.  But  the  darkness  compre- 
hended it  not;  and  even  as  one  of  old  was  he  betrayed  and  sacrificed. 
Back  to  that  scene  on  Calvary  leaps  the  thought  of  man.  Instinctively 
are  associated  the  tragedy  of  that  day  and  the  tragedy  of  this.  In 
the  agony  of  death  appears  the  self-same  spirit,"  etc. 

Calvary  and  Carthage — the  comparison  is  just,  after  all. 
But  leave  out  the  cross  in  the  centre,  will  you? 


DANITES  AND  DESTROYING  ANGELS. 


John  Taylor  Hides  Another  Pearl — "  Gath  "  and  Phil 
Robinson  —  Origin  of  Danitism  —  Smith  and  Rigdon 
Preach  "  Oneness"  or  Death — The  "Salt  Sermon" — 
Fight  at  Gallatin — Death  of  the  Danite  Apostle — 
Btigham  Young,  the  Treacherous  Danite — Murderers 
as  Preachers  and  Missionaries — Martyr  Parley  Pratt 
an  Assassin — Affidavits  of  Apostles  Marsh  and  Hyde 
— -Joe  Goes  Back  on  Dr.  Avard —  Clinching  State- 
ment of  David  Whitmer —  The  Danites  of  1868  — 
Mrs.  Pratt  Settles  the  Question. 


The  Mormon  leaders  kept  up  their  lying  about  polyg- 
amy for  a  period  of  more  than  ten  years,  calling,  as 
accused  criminals  often  do,  God  and  the  angels  as  witnes- 
ses that  they  were  speaking  the  truth.  Since  1852  their 
tactics  have  changed.  They  now  confess  polygamy,  but 
not  that  they  have  been  lying.  Lying  in  this  " church" 
is  "hiding  pearls  from  the  swine  ;"  stealing  is  taking  as 
the  Lord's  agents ;  seducing  other  people's  wives  is  exalt- 
ing, and  killing  people  is  saving  them. 


1 66  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

A  man  who  has  ten  wives  living  and  declares  solemnly 
that  he  never  heard  of  polygamy,  is  naturally  just  the 
person  to  whom  you  would  look  when  in  search  of  a  re- 
liable statement.  At  that  very  same  discussion  in  Bou- 
logne, France,  1850,  where  John  Taylor  denied  the 
existence  of  polygamy  in  the  Mormon  "church,"  Rev. 
James  Robinson,  one  of  his  opponents,  asked  : 

"  Was  there  not  a  body  of  men  amongst  the  Mormonites  called 
'*  Danites,"  or  "Destroying  Angels,"  who  were  banded  together  to 
assassinate  such  as  were  supposed  to  be  enemies  of  the  body  ?  And 
had  not  the  existence  of  these  men  caused  the  hostility  of  the  Ameri- 
cans to  the  Mormonite  body?" 

In  reply  John  Taylor  said  : 

"We  are  again  very  soberly  told  about  "Danites"  and  "Des- 
troying Angels."  I  never  happened  to  be  acquainted  with  any  of 
those  among  the  Latter-Day  Saints." 

John  Taylor  was  advanced  to  the  Mormon  apostle- 
ship  in  1838,  and  David  Patten,  who  was  then  president 
of  this  quorum  of  twelve,  being  also  a  leading  spirit 
among  the  Danites,  I  cannot  doubt  for  a  moment  that 
Taylor  had  taken  the  Danite  oaths  himself  in  Missouri  in 
1838.  But  he  was  resolved  to  hide  this  other  pearl,  too. 
I  saw  once  in  Paris,  in  the  Hotel  de  Ventes,  a  collection  of 
pearls,  belonging  to  Madame  Blanc,  exposed  for  sale.  I 
thought  then  I  had  never  seen  so  many,  so  big  and  so  fine 
pearls.  But  I  confess  I  was  mistaken;  those  pearls  were 
a  handful  of  dried  peas  compared  with  that  splendid 
church  collection,  now  guarded  by  old  John  Taylor.  I 
wonder  whether  they  don't  employ  Joe's  bleeding  Span- 
iard as  a  kind  of  night  watchman  for  their  church  pearls. 
It  would  be  just  the  kind  of  a  job  such  a  fellow  would 
like. 

Whenever  a  stranger  who  is  thought  of  some  conse- 
quence arrives  in  Salt  Lake  City,  the  church  diplomats 
"  make  a  business  of  it  "  to  get  hold  of  him  and  give  him 
'"  the  facts"  about  important  points  of  church  history. 
By  accident  Apostle  Richards,  the  keeper  of  the  histor- 
ian's pearls,  did  so  with  me.  No  wonder  that  a  man  like 
Gath,  the  brilliant  journalist,  wrote  in  1871,  after  having 
had  chats  with  Brigham,  George  A.  Smith,  George  Q. 
Cannon  and  other  great  men : 


Gath  Discovers  a  Mormon  Thackeray.  167 

"  Human  life  in  Utah  is  safer  than  probably  anywhere  in  civili- 
zation   The  industrious  political  vagabonds  who  write  letters 

from  Utah  to  the  East,  have  created  the  band  of '  Danites  '  and  other 
hobgoblins  out  of  air  and  foolscap." 

Gath  had,  of  course,  no  idea  that  he  was  furthering 
the  schemes  of  the  most  cunning  rascals  on  earth  while 
he  wrote  these  lines.  He  could  not  conceive  the  idea 
that  those  smooth,  smiling,  clean-shaved  gentlemen  were 
liars.  I  guess  that  Gath,  if  invited  by  King  Claudius, 
would  write  to  the  Enquirer :  "  I  find  the  king  to  be  the 
essence  of  chivalry  and  hospitality.  Polonius  is  a  great 
diplomat  and  scholar  on  the  decline.  Prince  Hamlet  is 
an  intolerable  crank,  if  not  an  outright  madman."  For 
doesn't  Gath  call  Porter  Rockwell,  who  is  never  remem- 
bered by  decent  people  here  without  a  shudder,  "a  fat, 
curly-haired,  good-natured  chap?"  And  he  had  a  talk 
with  him!  Again,  what  does  he  say  of  the  disgusting, 
dull,  beastly  fanatic,  George  A.  Smith,  Brigham's  tool  and 
courier  in  preparing  the  murder  of  the  Arkansas  emi- 
grants in  1857  : 

"  Smith  is  one  of  us  literary  folks  ;  a  man  of  the  stamp  of  THACK  - 
ERAY  and  WASHINGTON  IRVING  —  not  equal  to  them  in  degree,  per- 
haps, but  in  nature  the  same  a  chaste,  tender  and  religious 

husband,  father,  friend  and  gentleman." 

How  they  must  chuckle,  those  Mormon  diplomats,  when 
they  read  the  books  and  articles  of  those  most  gloriously 
fixed  fools  !  George  A.  Smith,  a  Thackeray  or  Washing- 
ton Irving !  Gath  might  have  told  us  of  Sappho  R. 
Snow,  Caius  Sempronius  Rockwell,  Cornelius  Tacitus 
Tullidge  !  If  men  of  the  talent  and  calibre  of  Gath  are 
capable  of  such  atrocities  in  open  daylight,  what  would 
you  expect  from  the  "illustrious  obscure"  smaller  fry  of 
strolling  scribblers  —  not  to  speak  of  wretched  literary 
outcasts  who  sell  themselves  so  much  a  page  or  line?* 

*  It  is  a  notorious  fact,  known  here  to  all  persons  interested  in 
such  matters,  that  PHIL  ROBINSON,  who  came  here  some  years  ago, 
sent  by  the  then  tottering  New  York  World,  wrote  "  Saints  and  Sin- 
ners "  in  the  pay  of  the  Mormon  leaders.  He  confessed  this  fact  in 
Ogden  just  before  leaving  this  profitable  territory.  But  no  confession 
is  needed,  the  "book"  shows  the  patent  fact  on  every  page. 


1 68  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Missouri,  "the  land  of  your  enemies,"  was  the  cradle 
of  the  Danites,  and  fanatic  Sidney  Rigdon  their  inventor. 
I  believe  that  Sidney,  impostor  and  scoundrel  as  he  was, 
was  still  a  greater  crank  and  fanatic.  I  feel  sure  that  he 
came  half  to  believe  in  the  fraud  fabricated  by  himself, 
and  really  imagined  himself  to  be  the  man  called  by  the 
Lord  to  restore  the  "House  of  Israel."  John  D.  Lee 
gives  a  graphic  description  of  the  stormy  times  in  Mis- 
souri immediately  preceding  the  "  Mormon  war."  He 
makes  it  plain  that  the  eternal  cry  of  PERSECUTION  is 
nothing  but  a  most  impudent  and  outrageous  lie.  He 
proves  that  Sidney  and  Joseph  transformed,  in  the  sum- 
mer of  1838,  their  followers  into  a  band  of  desperadoes, 
ready  to  commit  any  horror.  Hear  him : 

"On  Monday,  the  6th  day  of  August,  1838,  the  greater  portion  of 
our  people  in  the  settlements  near  me  went  to  Gallatin  to  attend  the 
election.  In  justice  to  truth  I  must  state  that  just  before  the  general 
election  in  August  1838,  a  general  notice  was  given  for  all  the  breth- 
ren of  Daviess  county  to  meet  at  Adam-Ondi-Ahman.  Every  man 
obeyed  the  call.  At  the  meeting  all  the  males  over  eighteen  years  of 
age  were  organized  into  a  MILITARY  BODY,  according  to  the  law  of 
the  priesthood  and  called  "  THE  HOST  OF  ISRAEL."  The  first  rank 
was  a  captain  with  ten  men  under  him ;  next  was  a  captain  of  fifty. 
That  is,  he  had  five  companies  of  ten.  The  entire  membership  of  the 
Mormon  church  was  then  organized  in  the  same  way.  This,  I  was 
then  informed,  was  the  first  organization  of  the  military  force  of  the 
church.  It  was  so  organized  at  that  time  by  command  of  God  as 
revealed  through  the  Lord's  prophet,  Joseph  Smith.  God  commanded 
Joseph  Smith  to  place  the  Host  of  Israel  in  a  situation  for  defense 
against  the  enemies  of  the  church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter- Day 
Saints. 

"  At  the  same  conference  another  organization  was  perfected,  or 
then  first  formed,  it  was  called  the  DANITES.  The  members  of  this 
order  were  placed  under  the  most  secret  obligations  that  language 
could  invent.  They  were  sworn  to  stand  by  and  sustain  each  other. 
Sustain,  protect,  defend  and  obey  the  leaders  of  the  church,  under  any 
and  all  circumstances  unto  death;  and  to  disobey  the  orders  of  the 
leaders  of  the  church,  or  divulge  the  name  of  a  Danite  to  an  outsider, 
or  to  make  public  any  of  the  secrets  of  the  order  of  Danites,  was  to 
be  punished  with  DEATH.  And  I  can  say  of  truth  MANY  HAVE  PAID 
THE  PENALTY  for  failing  to  keep  their  covenants.  They  had  signs 
and  tokens  for  use  and  protection.  The  token  of  recognition  was 
such  that  it  could  be  readily  understood,  and  it  served  as  a  token  of 
distress  by  which  they  could  know  each  other  from  their  enemies, 
although  they  were  entire  strangers  to  each  other.  When  the  sign 


Persecuted  Lambs  Looking  Like    Wolves.          169 

was  given  it  must  be  responded  to  and  obeyed,  even  at  the  risk  or 
certainty  of  death.  The  Danite  that  would  refuse  to  respect  the 
token  and  comply  with  all  its  requirements,  was  stamped  with  dis- 
honor, infamy,  shame,  disgrace,  and  his  fate  for  cowardice  and 
treachery  was  DEATH." 

Doesn't  this  "persecuted"  people  look  just  like  a 
flock  of  innocent  lambkins?  This  is  the  way  they  pre- 
pare themselves  for  an  election  !  A  blind  man  can  see 
that  those  Missourians  were  awfully  wicked  people  and 
Boggs  was  really  much  worse  than  Nero.  Dr.  John  C. 
Bennett  gives  in  his  book  the  Constitution  of  the  Danite 
Band.  The  document  is  really  grotesque  in  its  pomp  ;  'tis 
Sidney  Rigdon  all  over.  Here  are  some  choice  bits  of  it : 

"  WHEREAS,  In  all  bodies  laws  are  necessary  for  the  permanency, 
safety  and  well-being  of  society,  we,  the  members  of  the  society  of  the 
Daughter  of  Zion,*  do  agree  to  regulate  ourselves  under  such  laws 
as,  in  righteousness,  shall  be  deemed  necessary  for  the  preservation  of 
our  holy  religion,  and  of  our  most  sacred  rights  and  of  the  rights  of 
our  wives  and  children.  But,  to  be  explicit  on  the  subject,  it  is 
especially  our  object  to  support  and  defend  the  rights  conferred  on  us 
by  our  venerable  sires,  who  purchased  them  with  the  pledges  of  their 
lives,  their  fortunes  and  their  sacred  honors.  And  now,  to  prove 
ourselves  worthy  of  the  liberty  conferred  on  us  by  them,  in  the 
providence  of  God,  we  do  agree  to  be  governed  by  such  laws  as  shall 
perpetuate  these  high  privileges,  of  which  we  know  ourselves  to  be 
the  rightful  possessors,  and  of  which  privileges  wicked  and  designing 
men  have  tried  to  deprive  us  by  all  manner  of  evil,  and  that  purely 
in  consequence  of  the  tenacity  we  have  manifested  in  the  discharge  of 
our  duty  towards  our  God,  who  has  given  us  those  rights  and 
privileges,  and  a  right  in  common  with  others  to  dwell  on  this  land. 
But  we,  not  having  the  privileges  of  others  allowed  to  us,  have  deter- 
mined, like  unto  our  fathers,  to  resist  tyranny,  whether  it  be  in  kings 
or  in  the  people.  It  is  all  alike  unto  us.  Our  rights  we  must  have, 
and  our  rights  we  shall  have,  in  the  name  of  Israel's  God. 

"  The  executive  power  shall  be  vested  in  the  PRESIDENT  OF  THE 
WHOLE  CHURCH  and  his  councilors. 

"  The  legislative  powers  shall  reside  in  the  president  and  his 
councilors  together,  and  with  the  generals  and  colonels  of  the  society. 

*The  Danite  band  was  instituted  for  the  purpose  of  driving  out 
from  Missouri — Canaan — all  apostates  or  dissenters  from  the  Mormon 
faith.  It  was,  therefore,  first  called  the  "  BIG  FAN,"  inasmuch  as 
it  fanned  out  the  chaff  from  the  wheat.  "  Brother  of  Gideon," 
"  Daughter  of  Zion,"  and  "  Danites,"  are  later  names,  all  founded,, 
as  was  Rigdon's  manner,  on  biblical  allusions. 


170  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

"  Punishment  shall  be  administered  to  the  guilty  in  accordance  to 
the  offense. 

"  All  officers  shall  be  subject  to  the  commands  of  the  captain- 
general,  given  through  the  secretary  of  war" 

There  was  never  a  more  genuine  document.  It  is 
composed  of  the  same  notes  which  form  the  daily-evening- 
music  in  the  Deseret  News,  the  present  church  organ. 
This  is  a  persecuted  people ;  they  only  ask  for  the  rights 
guaranteed  in  the  Constitution;  "  wicked  and  designing 
men,"  the  Murrays,  Zanes,  Dicksons  of  yore,  denied 
them  their  rights,  and  they  do  so  to-day.  Lorenzo  Snow, 
the  aged  apostle,  sings  to-day  the  same  tune  which  he, 
poor  old  fellow,  sang  in  1838.  He  was  a  Danite  then, 
I  have  no  doubt,  and  is  one  to-day. 

John  C.  Bennett,  Esq.,  favors  us  with  a  copy  of  the 
oath  taken  by  the  Danites  in  Missouri : 

"  In  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ,  the  Son  of  God,  I  do  solemnly 
obligate  myself  ever  to  conceal  and  never  to  reveal  the  secret  pur- 
poses of  this  society,  called  the  Daughter  of  Zion.  Should  I  ever  do 
the  same,  I  hold  my  life  as  the  forfeiture." 

The  oath  was  subsequently  altered  in  Nauvoo.  I  have 
no  doubt  that  "  Joab,  a  general  in  Israel,"  was  the 
Author  of  this  revised  edition  : 

"  In  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ,  the  Son  of  God,  I  do  solemnly 
obligate  myself  ever  to  regard  the  prophet  and  first  presidency  of  the 
Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter-day  Saints  as  the  supreme  head  of  the 
church  on  earth,  and  to  obey  them  in  all  thing's  the  same  as  the 
supreme  God ;  that  I  will  stand  by  my  brethren  in  danger  or  difficulty, 
and  will  uphold  the  presidency,  RIGHT  OR  WRONG,  and  that  I  will 
ever  conceal  and  never  reveal  the  secret  purposes  of  this  society, 
called  the  Daughter  of  Zion.  Should  I  ever  do  the  same,  I  hold  my 
life  as  the  forfeiture,  in  a  caldron  of  boiling  oil." 

Boiling  oil — that  smells  of  the  drug-store.  I  see  the 
little  doctor  behind  it.  By  the  way,  Doctor,  didn't  you 
compose  it,  too  —  that  beautiful  blessing  which  your 
prophet  used  to  administer  to  the  Danites  in  person, 
assisted  by  Patriarch  Hyrum  Smith  and  George  Miller, 
.  the  president  of  the  high  priests'  quorum  ?  It  reminds 
me  very  much  of  your  "  Joab  "  style: 

"  In   the   name  of  Jesus    Christ,  the    Son  of  God,  and  by   the 


"Herr  Most"  is  no    Worse.  171 

authority  of  the  Holy  Priesthood,  we,  the  first  president,  patriarch  and 
high  priest  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of  Latter  day  Saints,  repre- 
senting \hz  first,  second  and  third  Gods  in  heaven  —  the  Father,  the 
Son,  and  the  Holy  Ghost — do  now  anoint  you  with  holy,  consecrated 
oil,  and  by  the  imposition  of  our  hands  do  ordain,  consecrate  and  set 
you  apart  for  the  holy  calling  whereunto  you  are  called;  that  you  may 
consecrate  the  riches  of  the  Gentiles  to  the  House  of  Israel,  bring  swift 
destruction  upon  apostate  sinners,  and  execute  the  decrees  of  heaven, 
without  fear  of  what  man  can  do  with  you.  So  mote  it  be.  Amen." 

In  Bennett's  time  the  number  of  the  Danites  was  over 
two  thousand.  From  their  "  elite,"  to  use  the  word  of 
George  Q.  Cannon,  twelve  men  were  selected,  called 
Destructives,  or  Destroying  Angel,  and  sometimes  Flying 
Angel.  Their  duty  was  to  act  as  spies,  and  to  report  to 
the  first  presidency.  Their  oath  was  as  follows : 

"  In  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ,  the  Son  of  God,  I  do  covenant  and 
agree  to  support  the  first  presidency  of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ  of 
Latter-day  Saints,  in  all  things,  RIGHT  OR  WRONG;  I  will  faithfully 
guard  them  and  report  to  them  the  acts  of  all  men,  as  far  as  in  my 
power  lies;  I  \vill  assist  in  executing  all  the  decrees  of  the  first  presi- 
dent, patriarch  or  president  of  the  twelve;  and  that  I  will  cause  all 
who  speak  evil  of  the  presidency,  or  heads  of  the  church,  to  die  the 
death  of  dissenters  or  apostates,  unless  they  speedily  confess  and  repent, 
for  pestilence,  persecution  and  death  shall  follow  the  enemies  of  Zion. 
I  will  be  a  swift  herald  of  salvation  and  messenger  of  peace  to  the 
saints,  and  I  will  never  make  known  the  secret  purposes  of  this 
society,  called  the  DESTROYING  ANGEL,  my  life  being  the  forfeiture  in 
a  fire  of  burning  tar  and  brimstone.  So  help  me  God,  and  keep  me 
steadfast." 

Doctor,  Doctor,  I  smell  your  little  laboratory  again. 
Burning  tar  and  brimstone  —  that  shows  a  good  deal  of 
practical  chemistry. 

But  let  us  return  to  Lee.  He  is  anxious  to  give  us  all 
the  information  he  has  acquired  in  his  interesting  career 
as  Mormon  policeman,  Danite  and  life  guard  of  his  ad- 
mired prophet. 

"The  sign  or  token  of  distress  is  made  by  placing  the  right  hand 
on  the  right  side  of  the  face,  with  the  points  of  the  fingers  upwards, 
shoving  the  hand  upward  until  the  ear  is  snug  up  between  the  thumb 
and  fore -finger." 

I  wish  the  wise  men  of  this  nation  would  study  the 
history  of  the  Mafia  in  Sicily,  which  is  such  a  thorn  in  the 


172  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

flesh  of  the  young  Italian  kingdom.  I  have  lived  there 
for  months  and  feel  justified  in  saying  that  Mormonism  is 
nothing  but  the  RELIGIOUS  MAFIA  of  the  United  States. 
Absolute  secrecy,  conspiracy  against  the  laws,  murder  and 
perjury  are  the  characteristics  of  both  institutions.  But  I 
have  yet  to  show  Sidney  Rigdon's  part  in  this  Danite  busi- 
ness. It  was  on  a  fourth  of  July,  the  great  national  me- 
morial day  of  the  Declaration  of  Independence,  that  the 
crazy  restorer  of  the  "  House  of  Israel  "  unfurled  the  flag 
of  treason  and  rebellion.  Hear  Danite  Lee  : 

"  That  day  (July  4,  1838,  in  Far  West,  a  new  Mormon  settle- 
ment) Joseph  Smith  made  known  to  the  people  the  substance  of  a 
revelation  he  had  before  received  from  God.  It  was  to  the  effect  that 
all  the  saints  throughout  the  land  were  required  to  sell  their  posses- 
sions, gather  all  their  money  together  and  send  an  agent  to  buy  up  all 
the  land  in  the  region  round  about  Far  West,  and  get  a  patent  for  the 
land  from  the  government,  then  deed  it  over  to  the  church ;  then  every 
man  should  come  up  there  to  the  land  of  their  promised  inheritance 
and  consecrate  what  they  had  to  the  Lord.  Sidney  Rigdon  was  then 
the  mouth  piece  of  Joseph  Smith,  as  Aaron  was  of  Moses  in  olden 
times.  Rigdon  told  the  saints  that  day  that  if  they  did  not  come  up  as 
true  saints  and  consecrate  their  property  to  the  Lord,  by  laying  it 
down  at  the  feet  of  the  apostles,  they  would  in  a  short  time  be  com- 
pelled to  consecrate  and  yield  it  up  to  the  Gentiles.  That  if  the  saints 
would  be  united  as  one  man  in  this  consecration  of  their  entire  wealth 
to  the  God  of  Heaven,  by  giving  it  up  to  the  control  of  the  apostolic 
priesthood,  then  there  would  be  no  further  danger  to  the  saints;  they 
would  no  more  be  driven  from  their  homes  on  account  of  their  faith 
and  holy  work,  for  the  Lord  had  revealed  to  Joseph  Smith  that  He 
would  then  fight  the  battles  of  his  children  and  save  them  from  all 
their  enemies.  That  the  Mormon  people  would  never  be  accepted  as 
the  children  of  God  unless  they  were  united  as  one  man,  in  temporal 
as  well  as  spiritual  affairs,  for  Jesus  had  said,  unless  ye  are  one,  ye 
are  not  mine ;  that  ONENESS  must  exist  to  make  the  saints  the  accepted 
children  of  God." 

Give  a  quart  of  infernal  whisky  to  each  member  of  a 
tribe  of  Indians,  or  tell  such  stuff  as  this  to  a  horde  of 
beggarly,  brutal  fanatics,  and  it  will  come  to  the  same. 

No   wonder  that  Lee   felt   like    "  consecrating."     He 

says  : 

"  The  words  of  the  apostle  and  the  promises  of  God,  as  then  re- 
vealed to  me,  made  a  deep  impression  on  my  mind,  as  it  did  upon  all 
who  heard  the  same.  We  that  had  given  up  all  else  for  the  sake  of 


Sidney  Foams  and  Fixes  the  Fools.  173 

the  gospel,  felt  willing  TO  DO  ANYTHING  on  earth  that  it  was  possible 
to  do,  to  obtain  the  protection  of  God  and  have  and  receive  His  smile 
of  approbation.  Those  who,  like  me,  had  full  faith  in  the  teachings  of 
God,  as  revealed  by  Joseph  Smith,  his  prophet,  were  willing  to  com 
ply  with  every  order  and  to  obey  every  wish  of  the  priesthood.  A  vote 
of  the  people  was  then  had  to  determine  the  question  whether  they 
would  consecrate  their  wealth  to  the  church  or  not.  The  vote  was 
unanimous  for  the  consecration.  The  prophet  and  all  his  priesthood 
were  jubilant  and  could  hardly  contain  themselves;  they  were  so 
happy  to  see  the  people  such  dutiful  saints."* 

Who  is  there  among  my  readers  who  does  not  feel  that 
all  this  infernal  humbug  is  nothing  but  a  conspiracy  of 
scoundrels  to  dupe  a  horde  of  fanatics  under  religious 
pretences  ?  To  make  them  give  up  every  cent  they  have, 
and  make  tools  of  them  for  all  sorts  of  criminal  pur- 
poses ? 

Sidney  gave  the  fools,  to  fix  them  thoroughly,  a  big 
speech  on  the  same  Fourth  of  July.  That  speech  has  be- 
come celebrateci  in  Mormon  history  as  the  "SALT  SERMON." 
Sidney  had  found  somewhere  a  Bible  text :  "If  the  salt 
have  lost  its  savour,  it  is  thenceforth  good  for  nothing  but 
to  be  cast  out  and  trodden  under  the  foot  of  men."  You 
see  it  as  clearly  as  I  do,  reader,  that  this  means  the  apostates 
or,  in  a  larger  sense,  all  the  wicked  fellows  who  wouldn't 
consecrate  ;  finally  the  Missourians  and  all  Gentiles.  Sid- 
ney was  strong  at  the  old  Bible,  and  his  interpretations 
were  always  just  what  Joseph's  "  kingdom  "  needed.  He 
told  the  Mormons  that  the  story  of  Ananias  and  Sapphira 
falling  dead  at  the  rebuke  of  Peter,  was  no  work  of  the 
heavens,  but  that  "the  young  men  "  who  were  with  Peter 
literally  trod  them  under  their  feet  till  their  bowels  gushed 
out  !  And  Judas  the  traitor — he  didn't  die  by  his  own 
hand,  Sidney  knew  better.  His  fellow  apostles  killed 
him,  and  his  bowels  came  out  by  the  same  religious  pro- 
ceeding. But  hear  the  "  Salt  Sermon"  : 

"  We  take  God  and  all  the  holy  angels  to  witness  this  day  that  we 
warn  all  men  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ,  to  come  on  us  no  more  for 

*"  Laying  all  at  the  Apostles'  feet"  was  a  life-long  dream  and 
hobby  with  Rigdon.  This  takes  the  form  of  the  so-called  "  Order  of 
Enoch"  in  Mormonism,  now  figuring  for  the  time  as  Z.  C.  M.  I.,  the 
mercantile  anaconda  of  Utah. 


174  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

ever.  The  men  or  the  set  of  men  that  attempts  it  does  so  at  the  ex- 
pense of  their  lives.  And  the  mob  that  comes  on  us  to  disturb  us,  it 
shall  be  between  us  and  them  a  war  of  EXTERMINATION,  for  we  will 
follow  them  till  the  last  drop  of  blood  is  spilled,  or  else  they  will  have 
to  exterminate  us ;  for  we  will  carry  the  seat  of  war  to  their  own 
houses  and  their  own  families,  and  one  part  or  the  other  shall  be 
utterly  destroyed.  Remember  it  then,  all  men!  No  man  shall  be  at 
liberty  to  come  in  our  streets,  to  threaten  us  with  mobs,  for  if  he  does 
he  shall  atone  for  it  before  he  leaves  the  place ;  neither  shall  he  be  at 
liberty  to  vilify  or  slander  any  of  us,  for  suffer  it  we  will  not  in  this 
place.  We  therefore  take  all  men  to  record  this  day,  as  did  our 
fathers,  and  we  pledge  this  day  to  one  another  our  fortunes  and  our 
sacred  honours  to  be  delivered  from  the  PERSECUTIONS  which  we  have 
had  to  endure  for  the  last  nine  years,  or  nearly  that.  Neither  will  we 
indulge  any  man  or  set  of  men  in  instituting  vexatious  LAW-SUITS 
against  us,  to  cheat  us  out  of  our  just  rights ;  if  they  attempt  it  we 
say  woe  be  unto  them.  WE  THIS  DAY,  then,  PROCLAIM  OURSELVES 
FREE,  with  a  purpose  and  a  determination  that  can  never  be  broken. 
No,  never !  No,  never ! !  No,  NEVER  ! ! !  " 

This  is  a  very  fair  specimen  0f  Mormon^  political  pro- 
gramme. Let  me  tell  you,  by  the  way,  that  this  piece  of 
frenzy,  absurd  as  it  seems,  is  just  the  stuff  that  fills  to-day 
the  brains  of  the  invisible  head  of  the  church,  President 
John  Taylor.  He  is  absolutely  the  same  kind  of  foaming 
fanatic  that  Sidney  was.  He  has  preached  "  Salt  Ser- 
mons "  by  the  hundred,  and  he  would  do  so  to-day  were 
it  not  for  "scoundrels"  like  Zane,  Dickson  and  Ireland. 
Scoundrels?  It  is  one  of  the  mildest  terms  used  by  him, 
when  talking  of  the  officers  of  the  law. 

But  there  had  been  in  June  a  fore-runner  to  the  "  Salt 
Sermon,"  a  wonderful  little  document,  addressed  to  the 
Dissenters,  wicked  fellows,  who  would  not  become  crimi- 
nal conspirators  and  desperadoes.  The  little  thing  is  full 
of  the  spirit  of  the  "  pure-in-heart ;  "  it  smells  all  over  of 
the  goodness  and  peace  of  Zion.  Curious  enough,  among 
the  wicked  are  to  be  found  the  original  witnesses  of  the 
Book  of  Mormon.  All  of  the  leaders  of  the  Dissenters 
had  been  chosen  servants  and  instruments  of  the  Lord  so 
long  as  they  had  been  absolute  tools  but  the  very  moment 
they  dared  to  think  for  themselves,  they  became  danger- 
ous for  the  kingdom.  Here  is  the  anathema  which  was 
drawn  up  by  Rigdon  and  signed  by  over  eighty  leading 
Mormons  ; 


Two   Orders  of  Extermination.  175 

"  FAR  WEST,  June  i,  1838. 
"  To  OLIVER   COWDERY,   DAVID   WHITMER,  JOHN  WHITMER,  W. 

W.  PHELPS  AND  LYMAN  E.  JOHNSON,  GREETING  : 
"  WHEREAS,  The  [Mormon]  citizens  of  Caldwell  county  have 
borne  with  the  abuse  received  from  you,  at  different  times,  and  on 
different  occasions,  until  it  is  no  longer  to  be  endured ;  neither  will 
they  endure  it  any  longer,  having  exhausted  all  the  patience  they  have, 
and  conceive  that  to  bear  any  longer  is  a  vice  instead  of  a  virtue. 
We  have  borne  long  and  suffered  incredibly ;  but  we  will  neither 
bear  nor  suffer  any  longer ;  and  the  decree  has  gone  forth  from  our 
hearts,  and  shall  not  return  to  us  void.  Neither  think,  gentlemen, 
that  in  so  saying  we  are  trifling  with  either  you  or  ourselves,  for  we 
are  not.  There  are  no  threats  from  you — no  fear  of  losing  our  lives 
by  you,  or  by  anything  you  can  say  or  do,  will  restrain  us ;  for  out  of 
the  country  you  shall  go,  and  NO'  POWER  SHALL  SAVE  YOU.  And  you 
shall  have  three  days  after  you  receive  this  communication  to  you, 
including  twenty-four  hours  in  each  day,  for  you  to  depart  with  your 
families,  peaceably;  which  you  may  do,  undisturbed  by  any  person; 
but  in  that  time,  if  you  do  not  depart,  we  will  use  the  means  in  our 
power  to  cause  you  to  depart :  for  GO  YOU  SHALL.  We  will  have  no 
more  promises  tcPreform,  as  you  have  already  done,  and  in  every  in- 
stance violated  your  promise,  and  regarded  not  the  COVENANT  which 
you  had  made,  but  put  both  it  and  us  at  defiance.  We  have  solemnly 
warned  you,  and  that  in  the  most  determined  manner,  that  if  you  did 
not  cease  that  course  of  wanton  abuse  of  the  [Mormon]  citizens  of 
this  county,  that  vengeance  would  overtake  you  sooner  or  later,  and 
that  when  it  did  come  it  would  be  as  furious  as  the  mountain  torrent, 
and  as  terrible  as  the  beating  tempest ;  but  you  have  affected  to  de- 
spise our  warnings,  and  pass  them  off  with  a  sneer  or  grin,  or  a 
threat,  and  pursued  your  former  course ;  and  vengeajice  sleepeth  not, 
neither  does  it  slumber;  and  unless  you  heed  us  this  time  and  attend 
to  our  request,  it  will  overtake  you  at  an  hour  when  you  do  not  ex- 
pect, and  at  a  day  when  you  do  not  look  for  it ;  and  for  you  THERE 
SHALL  BE  NO  ESCAPE;  for  there  is  but  one  decree  for  you,  which  is  : 
Depart,  depart,  or  a  MORF,  FATAL  CALAMITY  SHALL  BEFALL  YOU." 

Nero  Boggs'  order  for  the  expulsion  or  extermination 
of  the  Saints  appears  mild  enough  contrasted  with  this 
hyena  yell.  The  Mormon  president  issues  his  order  of 
expulsion  or  extermination  in  June,  1838,  and  the  Mis- 
souri governor  issues  his  in  October,  1838.  The  Christ- 
like  Rigdon  anathematizes  and  would  kill  peaceable, 
law-upholding  victims  of  his  own  miserable  fraud.  Nero 
Boggs,  in  order  to  avoid  a  civil  war,  is  for  expelling  or 
extermintaing  armed  law-breakers.  Rigdon  is  the  crazy 
fanatic,  Boggs  the  zealous  officer,  and  in  the  finale  as  usual 


176  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

innocent  dupes  have  to  suffer  with  designing  knaves. 
Yet  the  Mormons  were  a  horribly  PERSECUTED  body  of 
RELIGIOUS  worshippers  in  the  "land  of  Missouri,"  you 
know. 

But  how  things  change  in  this  fickle  world  !  You  had 
seen  the  plates  and  dozens  of  angels,  David  Whitmer ; 
the  angels  had  even  worked  for  you  in  the  fields,  they 
had  treated  you  like  an  old  playmate  of  theirs.  And  now 
they  give  you  three  days  to  "  get  out  "  with  your  family. 
There  is  a  little  consolation  in  the  fact  that  each  of  these 
three  days  "includes"  twenty-four  hours,  but  still  it  is 
hard  for  a  friend  and  confidant  of  angels  to  be  treated 
like  this.  And  you,  Oliver  Cowdery,  how  must  you  feel 
in  reading  that  "  no  power  shall  save  you,"  and  "there 
shall  be  no  escape "  !  It  makes  my  heart  bleed  to  look 
at  that  excellent  little  book,  the  Sunday-school  Catechism, 
No.  i,  printed  in  1882,  p.  17: 

Q.  When  were  Joseph  and  Oliver  baptized  ? 

A.  On  the  same  day  that  the  Aaronic  priesthood  was  conferred 
upon  them. 

Q.  Who  was  baptized  first  ? 

A.  Oliver  Cowdery. 

Q.  Who  baptized  him  ? 

A.  Joseph  Smith. 

Q.  Who  was  next  baptized  ? 

A.  Joseph  Smith. 

Q.  Who  baptized  him  ? 

A.  Oliver  Cowdery. 

Q.  What  took  place  next  ? 

A.  Joseph  ordained  Oliver  to  the  Aaronic  priesthood. 

Q.  And  who  ordained  Joseph  Smith  ? 

A.  Oliver  Cowdery. 

Q.  What  happened  after  this  ? 

A.  The  Holy  Ghost  fell  upon  them  and  they  prophesied. 

Those  were  glorious  times,  Oliver.  Then  the  day 
included  twenty-four  happy  hours.  But  more  glories 
were  to  be  yours.  Says  our  little  Catechism,  p.  19  : 

Q.  By  whom  was  the  holy  apostleship  restored  to  the  earth  ? 

A.  Christ's  ancient  apostles,  Peter,  James  and  John. 

Q.  Upon  whom  did  they  confer  this  power  ? 

A.  Joseph  Smith  and  Oliver  Cowdery. 


Who  Appeared  Next?  177 

But  I  am  not  yet  through  with  your  glories  and  special 
blessings,  Oliver.  Let  me  look  at  the  little  Catechism, 
p.  32: 

Q.  What  glorious  things  were  revealed  on  the  next  Sunday 
(April  3,  1836)  ? 

A.  The  heavens  were  opened  to  Joseph  Smith  and  Oliver 
Cowdery,  and  the  glories  thereof  were  shown  to  them. 

Q.     Who  appeared  to  them  on  this  occasion  ? 

A.     Our  Lord  and  Savior  Jesus  Christ. 

Q.     What  did  He  say  of  Himself? 

A.  "  I  am  the  first  and  the  last,  I  am  he  who  liveth,  I  am  he 
who  was  slain,  I  am  your  advocate  with  the  Father." 

Q.     After  this  vision  was  closed  who  next  appeared  ? 

A.     Moses,  the  great  law-giver  of  ancient  Israel. 

Q.     What  did  he  commit  to  them  ? 

A.     The  keys  of  the  gathering  of  Israel. 

Q.     Who  appeared  next  ? 

A.     Elias. 

Q.     Who  appeared  after  Elias? 

A.  The  prophet  Elijah,  who  gave  them  the  keys  to  turn  the 
hearts  of  the  fathers  to  the  children  and  the  children  to  the  fathers. 

To  have  a  whole  museum  of  keys,  Oliver,  and  then 
be  given  three  days  to  "git  up  an'  git!"  What  else 
could  you  do.  after  all,  than  turn  a  Methodist,  like  as 
your  prophet  had  done  ?  *  This  seems  the  only  way  out  of 
difficulties  of  this  kind,  especially  when  nobody  will 
"appear  next."  But  what  did  you  do  with  all  them 
keys,  pray  ? 

The  effect  of  all  this  fanatical  nonsense  must  have 
been  disastrous  on  the  confused  brain  of  a  fanatic  like 
John  D.  Lee.  Says  this  great  friend  and  spiritual  foster- 
son  of  Brigham  Young,  most  faithful  and  most  celebrated 
of  all  Danites,  after  having  reported  Sidney's  salt  sermon: 
"At  the  end  of  each  sentence  Rigdon  was  loudly  cheered, 
and  when  he  closed  his  oration,  I  believed  the  Mormons 

COUld  SUCCESSFULLY    RESIST    THE    WORLD." 

It    is  well  known   that   the    first    serious   disturbance 

*A11  three  of  the  original  witnesses  of  the  Book  of  Mormon 
apostatized.  Cowdery  became  a  member  of  the  Methodist  Protestant 
Church  in  the  winter  of  1842-3,  in  Tiffin,  Ohio,  expressing  at  the 
time  his  deep  shame  and  contrition  for  his  connection  with  Mormon- 
ism  and  the  Book  of  Mormon. 


178  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

between  Mormons  and  Missourians  occurred  in  the  little 
town  of  Gallatin,  August  6,  1838.  It  was  at  the  election 
for  which  the  Mormons  had  been  prepared  so  nicely  by 
their  leaders.  They  came  to  Gallatin  as  the  "Host  of 
Israel,"  and  as  Danites,  bound  by  secret  oaths  and 
tokens.  Lee  may  tell  us  what  happened  on  this  ominous 
day : 

"  Gallatin  was  a  new  town,  with  about  ten  houses,  three  of  which 
were  saloons.  The  town  was  on  the  bank  of  Grand  River,  and  heavy 
timber  came  near  the  town,  which  stood  in  a  little  arm  of  the  prairie. 
Close  to  the  polls  there  was  a  lot  of  oak  timber,  which  had  been 
brought  there  to  be  riven  into  shakes  or  shingles,  leaving  the  heart, 
taken  from  each  shingle-block,  lying  there  on  the  ground.  These 
hearts  were  three  square,  four  feet  long,  weighed  about  seven  pounds, 
and  made  a  very  dangerous  yet  handy  weapon.  When  Stewart  fell 
[a  Mormon  who  had  been  beaten  by  a  Missourian  in  a  scuffle  at  the 
polls],  the  Mormons  sprang  to  the  pile  of  oak  hearts,  and  each  man 
taking  one  for  use,  rushed  into  the  crowd.  The  Mormons  were 
yelling,  'Save  him!'  and  the  settlers  yelled,  '  Kill  him,  damn  him !  * 
The  sign  of  distress  was  given  by  the  Danites,  and  all  rushed  forward, 
determined  to  save  Stewart  or  die  with  him.  One  of  the  mob  stabbed 
Stewart  in  the  shoulder.  He  rose  and  ran,  trying  to  escape,  but  was 
again  surrounded  and  attacked  by  a  large  number  of  foes.  The 
Danite  sign  of  distress  was  again  given  by  John  L.  Butler,  one  of  the 
captains  of  the  Host  of  Israel.  Seeing  the  sign,  I  sprang  to  my  feet 
and  armed  myself  with  one  of  the  oak  sticks.  /  did  this  because  I 
was  a  Danite,  and  my  oaths  that  I  had  taken  required  immediate 
action  on  my  part,  in  support  of  the  one  giving  the  sign.  I  ran  into 
the  crowd.  I  was  an  entire  stranger  to  all  who  were  engaged  in  the 
affray,  except  Stewart,  but  I  had  seen  the  sign,  and,  like  Samson 
when  leaning  against  the  pillar,  I  felt  the  power  of  God  nerve  my  arm 
for  the  fray.  //  helps  a  man  a  great  deal  in  a  fight  to  know  that  God 
is  on  his  side." 

Was  n't  he  well  fixed,  that  fool  Lee?  That  is  the  kind 
of  oak  hearts  to  build  celestial  kingdoms  with.  And 
Joseph's  kingdom  went  up  like  magic  just  then — conse- 
cration was  flourishing.  Says  Lee : 

"  The  prophet,  Joseph  Smith,  said  it  was  a  civil  war;  that  by  the 
rules  of  war  each  party  was  justified  in  spoiling  his  enemy.  This 
opened  the  door  to  the  evil-disposed,  and  men  of  former  quiet  became 
PERFECT  DEMONS  in  their  efforts  to  spoil  and  waste  away  the  enemies 
of  the  church.  I  saw  soon  that  it  was  the  natural  inclination  of  men 
to  steal  and  convert  to  their  own  use  that  which  others  possessed. 
What  perplexed  me  most  was  to  see  that  religion  had  not  the  power 


Great  Murderers  and  Good  Writers.  179 

to  subdue  that  passion  in  man,  but  that  at  the  first  moment  when  the 
restrictions  of  the  church  were  withdrawn,  the  most  devout  men  in  our 
community  acted  like  they  had  served  a  lifetime  in  evil,  and  were 

NATURAL-BORN   THIEVES." 

Is  that  so,  Elder  Lee?  Then  those  bitter  apostates 
are  right  after  all,  when  saying  that  your  leaders  have 
always  acted  and  do  always  act  like  natural-born  thieves  ? 
Lee  fortifies  his  general  statement  by  a  very  remarkable 
special  case : 

"  A  company  went  from  Adam-Ondi-Ahman  and  burnt  the  house 
and  buildings  belonging  to  my  friend,  McBrier.  Every  article  of 
moveable  property  was  taken  by  the  [Mormon]  troops;  he  was 
utterly  ruined.  This  man  had  been  a  friend  to  me  and  many  others 
of  the  brethren;  he  was  an  honorable  man,  but  his  good  character 
and  former  acts  of  kindness  had  no  effect  on  those  who  were  working, 
as  they  pretended,  to  build  up  the  kingdom  of  God.  The  Mormons 
brought  in  every  article  that  could  be  used.  .  .  .  Men  stole  simply  for 
the  love  of  stealing.  Such  inexcusable  acts  of  lawlessness  had  the 
effect  to  arouse  every  Gentile  in  the  three  counties  of  Caldwell,  Carroll 
and  Davies,  as  well  as  to  bring  swarms  of  armed  Gentiles  from  other 
localities." 

Those  are  the  acts  of  a  pure,  slandered  and  persecuted 
people,  told  by  one  of  their  leaders,  who  was  tried  and 
shot  for  having  "  lived  his  religion."  This  book  of  the 
great  Danite*  should  be  studied  by  every  patriotic  Ame- 
rican. It  has  become  a  favorite  of  mine.  I  find  in  it 
many  of  the  qualities  of  that  wonderful  autobiography  of 
Benvenuto  Cellini,  the  Florentine  goldsmith.  He  and 
Lee  had  some  common  traits  :  sensuality,  superstition,  and 
a  certain  volcanic  ensemble  which  never  fails  to  make  a 
writer  powerful.  What  is  style  after  all  without 
natural  vigor  ?  It  is  training  in  a  Rozinante.  It  is  curi- 
ous, but  still  a  fact,  that  Lee  and  Hickman,  the  greatest 
murderers  of  this  "church,"  are  the  only  interesting 
writers  among  scores  of  saints  who  have  tried  the  path  of 
authorship.  Eliza  R.  Snow,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  beats 
them  all  in  the  impossible  genre. 

Lee  is  full  of  interesting  "portraits."  Let  him  de- 
scribe the  death  of  a  famous  Danite,  Captain  David 

*  Mormonism  Unveiled,  including  the  remarkable  life  and  confes- 
sions of  John  D.  Lee.  St.  Louis,  Moffat  Publ.  Co.,  1881. 


180  Mormon  Portraits. — 7".  Joseph  Smith. 

Patten,  the  president  of  the  twelve  apostles,  whose  sudden 
exit  opened  wide  the  gates  of  success  for  ambitious 
Brigham  Young.  Patten  died  in  a  skirmish  with  the  Mis- 
sourians  called  "  battle  of  Crooked  River." 

"  Captain  David  Patten,  called  Fcarnot,  was  sent  out  by  the  pro- 
phet with  fifty  men,  to  attack  a  body  of  Missourians,  who  were  camp- 
ing on  the  Crooked  River.  Captain  Patten's  men  were  nearly  all,  if 
not  every  one  of  them,  Danites.  The  attack  was  made  just  before 
daylight  in  the  morning.  Captain  Fearnot  wore  a  white  blanket  over- 
coat and  led  the  attacking  party.  He  was  a  brave,  impulsive  man. 
He  rushed  into  the  thickest  of  the  fight,  regardless  of  danger,  really 
seeking  it  to  show  his  men  that  God  would  shield  him  from  all  harm. 
But  he  counted  without  just  reason  upon  being  invincible,  for  a  ball 
soon  entered  his  body,  passing  through  his  hips  and  cutting  his  bladder. 
The  wound  was  fatal,  but  he  kept  on  his  feet  and  led  his  men  some 
time  before  yielding  to  the  effects  of  his  wonnd.  The  Gentiles  said 
afterwards  that  Captain  Patten  told  his  men  to  charge  in  the  name  of 
Lazarus,  '  CHARGE,  DANITES,  CHARGE  !'  and  that  as  soon  as  he 
uttered  the  command,  which  distinguished  him,  they  gave  the  Danite 
captain  a  commission  with  powder  and  ball,  and  sent  him  on  a  mission 
to  preach  to  the  spirits  that  were  in  prison." 

The  martyrdom  of  the  "  great  warrior  apostle  "  was  a 
fearful  blow  to  Mormon  superstition,  originated  and  fed 
by  the  crazy  harangues  of  ((  my  servants  Sidney  and  Jo- 
seph." "I  had  considered,"  says  Lee,  "that  I  was 
bullet-proof,  that  no  Gentile  ball  could  ever  harm  me  or 
any  saint,  and  I  had  believed  that  a  Danite  could  not  be 
killed  by  Gentile  hands.  I  thought  that  one  Danite 
would  chase  a  thousand  and  two  could  put  ten  thousand 
to  flight.  We  had  been  promised  and  taught  by  the  pro- 
phet that  henceforth  God  would  fight  our  battles •,  and  that 
nothing  but  disobedience  to  the  teachings  of  the  priesthood 
could  render  a  Mormon  subject  to  injury  from  Gentile 
forces.  We,  as  members  of  the  church,  had  no  right  to 
question  any  act  of  our  superiors ;  to  do  so  wounded  the 
spirit  of  God  and  led  to  our  own  loss  and  confusion." 

We  see  from  Lee's  expressions  that  the  "  Host  of  Is- 
rael" was  pretty  much  demoralized  by  the  death  ot  Capt. 
Patten.  But  the  famous  son  of  Lucy-Munchhausen  was 
the  greatest  virtuoso  of  his  age  in  the  art  of  fixing  the 
fools.  Lee  was  "thunderstruck"  when  the  "Commander-in- 
chief  of  the  armies  of  Israel ' '  said  at  the  funeral  of  Capt. 


The  Mormon  Lord  Only  Blesses  Slaves.         181 

Patten  that  the  Mormons  were  liable  to  be  killed  by  Gen- 
tile balls  just  like  other  men.  "  Joseph  also  said  that  the 
Lord  was  angry  with  the  people,  for  they  had  been  un- 
believing and  faithless;  they  had  denied  the  Lord  the  use 
of  their  earthly  treasures,  and  placed  their  affections  upon 
worldly  things  more  than  they  had  upon  heavenly  things  ; 
that  to  expect  God?s  favor  we  must  blindly  trust  him  ;  that 
if  the  Mormons  would  wholly  trust  in  God,  the  windows 
of  heaven  would  be  opened  and  a  shower  of  blessings  sent 
upon  the  people ;  that  all  the  people  could  contain  of 
blessings  would  be  given  as  a  reward  for  obedience  to  the 
will  ot  God  as  made  known  to  mankind  through  the  pro- 
phet of  the  ever-living  God  ;  that  the  Mormons,  if  faithful, 
obedient  and  true  followers  of  the  advice  of  their  leaders, 
would  soon  enjoy  all  the  wealth  of  the  earth  ;  that  God 
would  consecrate  the  riches  of  the  Gentiles  to  the  saints." 
I  believed  all  he  said,  for  he  supported  it  by  quotations  from 
scripture,  and  if  1  believed  in  the  Bible,*  as  I  did  most 
implicitly,  I  could  not  help  believing  in  Joseph  Smith,  the 
prophet  of  God  in  these  last  days.  Joseph  Smith  declared 
that  he  was  called  of  God  and  given  power  and  authority 
from  heaven  to  do  God's  will ;  that  he  had  received  the 
keys  [O  Lucy  !]  of  the  holy  priesthood  from  the  apostles 
Peter,  James  and  John,  and  had  been  dedicated,  set  apart 
and  anointed  as  the  prophet,  seer  and  revelator,  sent  to 
open  the  dispensation  of  the  fullness  of  times,  according 
to  the  words  of  the  apostles ;  that  he  was  charged  with 
the  restoration  of  the  House  of  Israel  and  to  gather  the 
Saints  from  the  four  corners  of  the  earth  to  the  land  of 
promise,  Zion,  the  Holy  Land  (Jackson  county),  and  set- 
ting up  the  kingdom  of  God  preparatory  to  the  second 
coming  of  Christ  in  the  latter  days.  Every  Mormon,  if 
true  to  his  faith,  believed  as  fully  in  Joseph  Smith  and 
his  holy  character  as  they  did  that  God  existed." 

Is  the  effect  of  the  Prophetic  idea  not  wonderful? 
It  seems  at  least  as  powerful  an  agent  as  the  revolutionary 
idea  of  liberty:  it  makes  the  pulse  beat  just  like  the 

*"Our  sickness  is  an  overdose  of  Bible,"  said  an  old  Mormon 
lady  to  me. 


1 82  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Marseillaise.  Surrounded  as  he  was  by  a  thousand  or 
more  Lees,  is  it  surprising  that  Joseph  began  to  see 
himself  a  Mahomet  ? 

Lee  died  an  admirer  of  Joseph  Smith.  While  sit- 
ting on  his  coffin  at  the  Mountain  Meadows,  on  that 
chilly  March  morning  in  1877,  he  cursed  treacherous 
Brigham  Young  and  hoped  to  be  soon  united  with  his  be- 
loved prophet.  He  gives  a  most  enthusiastic  and  really 
interesting  description  of  the  modern  Mahomet:  "  Joseph 
Smith  was  a  most  extraordinary  man  ;  he  was  rather  large 
in  stature,  some  six  feet  two  inches  in  height,  well  built, 
though  a  little  stoop-shouldered,  prominent  and  well-de- 
veloped features,  a  Roman  nose,  light  chestnut  hair, 
upper  lip  full  and  rather  protruding,  chin  broad  and 
square,  an  eagle  eye,  and  on  the  whole  there  was  some- 
thing in  his  manner  and  appearance  that  was  bewitching 
and  winning ;  his  countenance  was  that  of  a  plain,  hon- 
est man,  full  of  benevolence  and  philanthropy  and  void 
of  deceit  or  hypocrisy.  He  was  resolute  and  firm  of 
purpose,  stronger  than  most  men  in  physical  power,  and 
all  who  saw  were  forced  to  admire  him,  as  he  then 
looked  and  existed." 

The  portrait  is  no  doubt  a  strongly  flattered  one. 
In  the  prison  where  his  Confession  was  written,  Joseph 
seemed  to  Lee,  compared  with  the  two-faced,  ungrateful 
Brigham,  the  essence  of  honor  and  chivalry.  Still,  there 
is  enough  in  Lee's  sketch  to  show  that  Joseph  had  some- 
thing of  the  popular  leader  in  him.  Mrs.  Pratt,  who 
surely  had  every  reason  in  the  world  to  hate  and  despise 
Joseph,  said  once  to  me:  "As  a  leader  I  would  always 
prefer  Joseph  to  low  cunning  Brigham." 

There  is  scarcely  a  doubt  that  the  apostles  of  Joseph 
Smith  were  all  Danites,  since  their  president  was  a  Dan- 
ite  captain.  It  is  not  doubtful  to  me  that,  for  instance, 
Brigham  Young  had  also  taken  the  Danite  oaths,  and 
this  is  the  reason  why  Lee  kept  on  hoping  to  the  last 
moment  that  his  life  would  be  spared  :  he  could  not  be- 
lieve that  Brigham  would  prove  untrue  to  his  COVENANTS, 
which  bind  any  Danite  to  help  another,  as  we  have 
seen.  Those  horrible  COVENANTS  are  a  generic  and  dom- 


Murderers  Blessing  the  Bread  and  Wine.         183 

mating  feature  of  Mormonism  all  through ;  they  are  the 
secret  cement  of  the  whole  structure,  and  Mormonism 
cannot  be  understood  without  this  secret -oath  business, 
bloody  punishments,  etc.,  being  taken  into  due  consider- 
ation. The  witnesses  of  the  Book  of  Mormon  were 
bound  by  covenants  to  testify ;  Rigdon  and  Smith  bound 
themselves  by  a  most  solemn  covenant  to  keep  the  great 
fraud  secret :  *  every  Danite  was  fettered  by  covenants, 
and  finally  every  '-'good"  Mormon  becomes  a  part  of 
this  dreadful  machinery  through  his  endowment  oaths. 

Among  the  Danite  Apostles  of  the  time  of  the  Mis- 
souri troubles,  Parley  P.  Pratt  seems  to  be  one  of  the 
Patten  kind.  He  did  not  find  his  martyrdom  in  Missouri  f 
and  this  is  deeply  to  be  regretted,  since  Providence  per- 
mitted him  to  live  up  to  1857  and  to  do  incalculable  mis- 
chief in  the  way  of  proselyting,  in  brutalizing  the 
Mormon  people  by  his  coarse,  filthy  and  fanatic  preach- 
ing, and  by  corrupting  all  the  women  he  approached. 
He  was  one  of  the  saintly  brutes  of  the  William  Smith 
and  Orson  Hyde  type,  which  latter,  however,  developed 
in  his  full  glory  later,  in  Utah,  preaching  that  Christ  had 
lived  in  polygamy,  and  enjoying  whiskey  and  polygamy 
much  more  than  even  his  bull  constitution  could  stand. 
Yes,  Mormonism  is  a  very  peculiar  religion.  It  preaches 
murder  as  a  religious  duty,  and  treats  the  murderer  as  a 
distinguished  member  of  the  " church."  I  am  not  jok- 
ing. Said  a  poor  Mormon  widow  to  me,  whose  husband 
was  killed  in  the  foulest  manner  imaginable  by  the  police 
of  this  holy  city  :  "They  bless  the  bread  and  wine  in  the 
tabernacle  —  there  is  half  a  dozen  of  murderers  among 
them  ;  I  could  point  them  out  any  time." 

Did  not  President  Joseph  F.  Smith,  of  the  so-called 
first  presidency  of  the  Mormon  church,  pronounce  the 
funeral  eulogium  over  the  body  of  the  saintly  O.  Porter 
Rockwell,  Esq.  ?  I  have  been  told  so.  You  don't  want 

*  "  Keep  all  the  commandments  and  covenants  by  which  ye  are 
bound i  and  I  will  cause  the  heavens  to  shake  for  your  good ;  "  so  says 
the  Mormon  Lord  to  Joseph  and  Sidney,  December,  1830. 

f  He  was  killed  in  Arkansas,  1857,  for  running  away  with  another 
man's  wife  and  trying  to  abduct  the  man's  children. 


1 84  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

to  believe  such  things,  gentle  reader.  You  say  this  is  not 
possible.  If  you  had  lived  in  1560  or  so,  and  had  met  a 
man  fresh  from  priest-ridden  Spain  who  told  you  about  an 
auto-da-fe,  would  you  have  answered  him  the  same  way  ? 
I  have  myself  heard  a  sermon  in  the  tabernacle  delivered 
by  a  man  who  is  known  all  over  Utah  as  having  killed 
his  first  wife  in  1857  because  she  opposed  his  taking  a 
number  four.  I  shall  tell  the  case  with  all  details  in 
Part  II.  of  this  work.  It  is  a  notorious  fact  that  men 
who  have  committed  horrible  deeds  for  the  ''church" 
are  generally,  to  get  them  out  of  the  way  of  the  Federal 
authorities,  sent  out  on  some  "  mission."  It  is  the  gen- 
eral belief  in  Utah  that  Isaac  C.  Haight,  who  took  such 
an  important  part  in  the  Mountain  Meadows  Massacre,  is 
preaching  the  gospel  in  some  foreign  country  under  an 
assumed  name.  Think  of  such  a  bloody  spectre  playing 
the  gospel-dove  !  It  is  another  notorious  fact  that  the 
Danites,  Lee,  Haight  and  Hickman,  were  for  many  years, 
and  after  the  massacre  of  1857,  members  of  the  Territor- 
ial Legislature.  How  can  I  explain  all  this?  Simply 
through  the  well-founded  supposition  that  a  Danite  mur- 
derer is  a  sort  of  veteran,  a  decorated  officer  of  the 
Mormon  church.  He  has  shown  courage  and  zeal  in  the 
service  of  "  the  Lord,"  he  has  helped  to  build  up  "the 
kingdom  of  God  on  earth/'  he  has  destroyed  some  of 
the  enemies  of  "  Zion."  How  can  you  explain  other- 
wise the  most  intimate  relation  between  Joseph  and  Rock- 
well, and  the  fact,  told  me  by  Mrs.  Pratt,  that  Brigham 
used  (after  1857  !  )  to  walk  with  Lee,  his  arm  around  the 
brother's  shoulder  and  whispering  in  his  ear?  Mrs.  Pratt 
has  seen  this  kind  of  scene  often  and  often,  and  she  has 
seen  Brigham  embracing  Elder  Hickman  the  same  way. 
Doesn't  it  remind  you  of  the  relations  of  Richard  and 
Macbeth  with  the  "first"  and  "second"  murderer?  It 
does  me. 

But  I  wanted  you  to  hear  from  Lee  a  little  anecdote 
about  Parley  P.  Pratt.  It  shows  this  brutal  apostle, 
who  is  to-day  a  celebrated  and  much  lamented  martyr  of 
the  "  church,"  in  his  true  light.  Here  it  is  : 

"  I  knew  a  man  by  the   name  of  Tarwater,  on  the   Gentile  side 


Murder  for  the  Holiest  of  Purposes.  185 

[in  the 'battle  of  Crooked  River '],  that  was  cut  up  fearfully.  He 
was  taken  prisoner.  The  Danites  routed  the  Gentiles,  who  fled  in 
every  direction.  The  Mormons  started  for  Far  West,  taking  Tar- 
water  along  as  a  prisoner.  After  traveling  several  miles,  they  halted 
in  a  grove  of  timber  and  released  Tarwater,  telling  him  he  was  free  to 
go  home.  He  started  off,  and  when  he  was  some  forty  yards  from 
the  Mormons,  Parley  P.  Pratt,  then  one  of  the  twelve  apostles,  stepped 
up  to  a  tree,  laid  his  gun  up  by  the  side  of  the  tree,  took  deliberate 
aim  and  shot  Tarwater.  lie  fell  and  lay  still.  The  Mormons,  be- 
lieving he  was  dead,  went  on  and  left  him  lying  where  he  fell.  Tar- 
water came  to  and  reached  home  where  he  was  taken  care  of  and  soon 
recovered  from  his  wounds.  He  afterwards  testified  in  court  against 
the  Mormons  that  he  knew,  and  upon  his  evidence  Parley  P.  Pratt  was 
imprisoned  in  the  Richmond  jail  in  1839." 

I  asked  my  friend  Webb  about  this  statement  of  Lee's, 
and  he  said  :  "  Lhave  heard  this  story  very  often,  and  I 
do  not  doubt  it  at  all.  Parley  was  just  the  man  to  do 
such  a  thing."  It  is  a  church  and  a  religion  with  such 
"apostles"  and  "  martyrs,"  isn't  it? 

For  those  who  want  further  evidence,  I  introduce  now 
the  affidavit  of  Thomas  B.  Marsh,  who  apostatized  in 
the  hour  of  danger.  He  was  president  of  the  Twelve  be- 
fore Patten  ;  his  apostacy  and  Patten's  death  opening  the 
way  for  Brigham.  Here  is  Marsh's  affidavit  : 

RICHMOND,  Mo.,  Octbr.  24,  1838. 

"  They  have  among  them  a  company  consisting  of  all  that  are  con- 
sidered true  Mormons,  called  the  DANITES,  who  have  taken  an  oath 
to  support  the  heads  of  the  church  in  all  things  that  they  say  or  dor 
whether  right  or  wrong.  Many,  however,  of  this  band  are  much  dis- 
satisfied with  this  oath  as  being  against  moral  and  religious  principles. 
I  am  informed  by  the  Mormons  that  they  had  a  meeting  at  Far  West, 
at  which  they  appointed  a  company  of  twelve ,  by  the  name  of  the  De- 
struction. Company ,  for  the  purpose  of  burning  and  destroying,  and  that 
if  the  people  at  Buncombe  came  to  do  mischief  upon  the  people  of 
Caldwell,  and  committed  depredations  upon  the  Mormons,  they  were 
to  burn  Buncombe,  and  if  the  people  of  Clay  and  Ray  made  any 
movements  againt  them,  this  destroying  company  were  to  burn  Liberty 
and  Richmond.  77iis  burning  was  to  be  done  secretly,  by  going  as  in- 
cendiaries. At  the  same  meeting,  I  was  informed,  they  passed  a  de- 
cree that  no  Mormon  dissenter  (apostate)  should  leave  Caldwell 
county  alive,  and  that  such  as  attempted  to  do  it  should  be  shot  down 
and  sent  so  tell  their  tale  in  eternity.  In  a  conversation  between  Dr. 
Avard  and  other  Mormons  said  Avard  proposed  to  start  a  pestilence 
among  the  Gentiles  by  poisoning  their  corn,  fruit,  etc.,  and  saying  it 


1 86  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

was  the  work  of  the  Lord,  and  said  Avard  advocated  lying  for  the 
support  of  their  religion  and  said  it  was  no  harm  to  lie  for  the  Lord. 
The  plan  of  Smith  the  prophet  is  to  take  this  State,  and  he  professes  to 
his  people  to  intend  taking  the  United  States,  and  ultimately  the  whole 
world.  This  is  the  belief  of  the  church  and  my  own  opinion  of  the 
prophet's  plans  and  intentions.  It  is  my  opinion  that  neither  the  pro- 
phet nor  any  one  of  the  principal  men  who  is  firm  in  the  faith  could 
be  indicted  for  any  offense  in  the  county  of  Caldwell.  The  prophet 
inculcates  the  notion,  and  it  is  believed  by  every  true  Mormon,  that 
Smith 's  prophecies  are  superior  to  the  law  of  the  land.  I  have  heard 
the  prophet  say  that  he  should  yet  tread  down  his  enemies  and  walk 
over  their  dead  bodies  ;  that  if  he  was  not  let  alone  he  would  be  a 
second  Mahomet  to  this  generation,  and  that  he  would  make  it  one* 
gore  of  blood  from  the  Rocky  Mountains  to  the  Atlantic  Ocean  ;  that 
like  Mahomet,  whose  motto  in  treating  for  peace  was,  *  the  Alcoran  or 
the  sword,'  so  should  it  be  eventually  with  us  :  ' Joseph  Smith  or  the 
sword?  " 

AFFIDAVIT   OF   APOSTLE    ORSON    HYDE. 

The  most  of  the  statements  in  the  foregoing  disclosure  of  Thomas    • 
B.  Marsh  I  know  to  be  true;  the  remainder  I  believe  to  be  true.    (Same 
date.) 

The  remark  has  already  been  made  that  Sidney  Rigdon 
was  the  originator  of  the  Danite  band.  The  proof  for 
this  assertion  is  furnished  by  the  Mormon  leaders  them- 
selves. After  Joseph's  death,  when  there  was  a  life  and 
death  struggle  for  the  church  dictatorship  between  im- 
practical, fanatic  Rigdon,  and  unscrupulous,  business-man 
Brigham  Young,  the  former  was  expelled  from  the  church 
by  a  mock  trial.  One  of  the  charges  preferred  against 
him  was  his  course  in  Missouri  in  1838.  Says  Brigham 
Young  at  this  trial  (Times  and  Seasons,  p.  667)  : 

"Elder Rigdon  was  the  PRIME  CAUSE  OF  OUR  TROUBLES 
IN  MISSOURI,  by  his  Fourth  of  July  oration." 

And  Orson  Hyde  says  at  the  same  trial  (Times  and 
Seasons,  p.  651)  : 

"  He  [Rigdon]  was  the  cause  of  our  troubles  in 
MISSOURI,  and  although  Brother  Joseph  tried  to  restrain 
him,  he  would  take  his  own  course." 

Sister  Snow,  in  her  great  psalm,  dated  "  City  of 
Nauvoo,  1842,"  says  of  Missouri:  "Thou  art  a  stink  in 
the  nostrils  of  the  Goddess  of  Liberty."  But  this  horrible 
stench,  and  it  was  a  brutish  and  bloody  one,  sure  enough, 


Eliza   Curses  Missouri.  187 

all  came,  as  we  now  see,  from  my  servant  Sidney  taking 
his  own  course,  against  the  protests  of  your  sweet  spouse, 
the  prophet ;  but  never  mind,  sister,  you  saints  must  be 
persecuted,  are  nothing  if  not  persecuted.  And  so 
Missouri  has  "butchered  the  saints  of  the  Most  High, 
.  and  hunted  the  prophets  like  Ahab  of  old."  And,  again, 
"Thou  art  already  associated  with  Herod,  Nero  and  the 
bloody  Inquisition  —  thy  name  has  become  synonymous 
with  oppression,  cruelty,  treachery  and  blood."  Oh, 
Sappho-Eliza-Roxanna-Snow-Smith-Young  !  But  I  think 
I  sniff  General  Joab  in  this  transcendent  psalm.  "  Thou 
didst  pollute  the  holy  sanctuary  of  female  virtue,  and 
barbarously  trample  upon  the  most  sacred  gems  of 
domestic  felicity,"  is  Pistol-Bennett,  sure. 

I  believe  readily  that  Joseph  tried,  in  the  beginning, 
to  restrain  the  crankiness  of  his  Mentor,  who  spoke  and 
acted  like  a  fanatic  Jew  of  the  times  of  Moses  and  Joshua, 
carefully  embalmed  at  the  fall  of  Jericho  and  resurrected 
in  Jackson  County,  Mo.  Joseph  was  not  a  man  of  non- 
sensical hobbies;  his  fanaticism  lay  in  another  direction 
—  in  that  of  "all  the  women."  His  idol  was  a  huge 
enjoyment  of  life  in  the  sense  of  Caligula  and  Nero. 
Hating  honest  work  more  than  bitter  death,  he  was 
forced  to  use  all  the  ways  and  means  of  charlatans  to 
steal  the  prize  which  he  could  not  conquer  by  true  talent 
and  honest  exertion.  So  every  scheme  was  welcome  that 
would  lead  to  enjoyment  on  the  grand  style.  But  he  may 
have  hesitated,  at  the  outset  of  the  "Mormon  war,"  at 
the  idea  of  becoming  openly  a  rebel  and  leader  of  armed 
bands.  This  hesitation  was  evidently  overcome  by  his 
love  for  appearing  in  great  roles,  by  parading  as  "  com- 
mander-in-chief  of  the  armies  of  Israel,"  by  his  intoxica- 
tion at  the  idea  of  becoming  a  second  Mahomet.  There 
were  always  some  about  him  who  made  a  business  of  it  to 
work  up  his  brains  to  the  boiling  point.  There  was 
Rigdon,  proving  from  the  old  Bible  that  the  House  of 
Israel  was  invincible;  there  was  Dr.  Avard,  an  adventurer 
of  exactly  the  Bennett  kind,  intensely  ambitious  and 
entirely  unscrupulous,  who  saw  in  Joseph  the  coming 
man.  Avard  was,  like  Bennett  and  Joe,  an  infidel,  and 


1 88  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  role  of  right-hand  man  .of  the  new  Mahomet  tickled 
him. 

Joseph  may  have  hesitated,  as  Charles  IX.  did  when 
hearing  the  bloody  plains  of  his  mother  against  the 
Huguenots,  but  he  gave  way  like  Charles  IX.  Could  not 
Sidney  show  how  the  old  Jews  had  exterminated  the 
peaceful  inhabitants  of  a  whole  country  ? 

"  He  left  none  remaining,  but  utterly  destroyed  all  that  breathed, 
as  the  Lord  God  of  Israel  commanded.  .  .  .  And  they  utterly  de- 
stroyed all  that  was  in  the  city,  both  men  and  wometi,  young  and  old, 
and  ox,  and  sheep,  and  ass,  with  the  edge  of  the  sword.  ..." 

Blood,  streams  of  blood,  shed  at  the  command  of  the 
Almighty  !  And  could  not  Avard,  the  worldly  adviser, 
prove  to  the  illiterate  peeper  that  so  many  of  the  emperors 
and  kings  had  risen  by  shedding  blood  like  water?  Joe 
listened  and  listened,  and  they  convinced  him  finally  — 
the  resurrected  Jew  to  the  right,  and  the  modern  Mach- 
iavel  to  the  left. 

Armed  witn  the  enthusiastic  approval  of  Sidney 
Rigdon  and  the  (perhaps  hesitating)  consent  of  Joseph, 
Dr.  Avard  goes  to  work  with  the  energy  of  a  gold-digger 
whose  imagination  is  filled  with  tremendous  nuggets. 
Friend  Webb  heard  Avard  speak  to  the  brethren,  and  he 
says  it  was  the  most  blood-curdling  kind  of  speech  he 
ever  heard  in  his  life. 

"  My  brethren,  it  is  written:  *  The  riches  of  the  Gentiles  shall  be 
consecrated  to  my  people,  the  House  of  Israel ; '  and  in  this  way  we 
will  build  up  the  KINGDOM  OF  GOD,  and  roll  forth  the  little  stone 
that  Daniel  saw  cut  out  of  the  mountain  without  hands,  until  it  shall 
fill  the  whole  earth.  For  this  is  the  very  way  that  GOD  destines  to 
build  up  his  kingdom  in  the  last  days.  If  any  of  us  should  be 
recognized,  who  can  harm  us?  For  we  will  stand  by  each  other  and 
defend  one  another  in  all  things.  If  our  enemies  swear  against  us, 
we  can  swear  also.  Why  do  you  startle  at  this,  brethren  ?  As  the 
Lord  liveth,  I  would  swear  a  lie  to  clear  any  of  you  ;  and  if  this 
could  not  do,  I  would  put  them  or  him  under  the  sand,  as  Moses  did 
the  Egyptian,  and  in  this  way  we  will  consecrate  much  to  the  Lord, 
and  BUILD  UP  His  KINGDOM;  and  who  can  stand  against  us?  And 
if  any  of  this  Danite  society  reveals  any  of  these  things,  I  will  put  him 
where  the  dogs  cannot  bite  him." 

There  came  a  day  when  Rigdon,  Joseph   and   Avard 


Poor  Joe  Knew  Nothing  About  It.  189 

awoke  from  their  ambitious  dream  to  the  cold  reality  of 
things.  The  awful  formalities  of  a  court-martial,  the 
reading  of  a  sentence,  "You  will  be  shot  to-morrow 
morning  at  eight  o'clock,"  and  the  atmosphere  of  a 
court-room  where  you  are  tried  for  high  treason,  murder, 
arson,  etc.,  exert  a  remarkably  cooling  influence  on  the 
aspirations  of  modern  Joshuas,  Mahomets  and  Napoleons. 
When  in  the  clutches  of  the  law,  Joseph  dropped 
Avard,  as  Brigham  did  faithful  Danite  Lee  some  forty 
years  after.  Even  how  to  sacrifice  a  friend  in  the  hour  of 
danger  did  you  learn  from  Joseph,  great  plagiarist  Young. 
Hear  the  prophet : 

"  While  the  evil  spirits  were  raging  up  and  down  in  the  state 
[Missouri]  to  raise  mobs  against  the  Mormons,  Satan  himself  was  no 
less  busy  in  striving  to  stir  up  mischief  in  the  camps  of  the  Saints,  and 
among  the  most  conspicuous  of  his  willing  devotees  was  one  Dr. 
Sampson  Avard,  who  had  been  in  the  church  but  a  short  time  and 
who,  although  he  had  generally  behaved  with  a  tolerable  degree  of 
external  decorum,  was  secretly  aspiring  to  be  the  greatest  of  the  great, 
and  become  the  leader  of  the  people  by  forming  a  secret  combination 
by  which  he  might  rise  a  mighty  conqueror,  at  the  expense  of  the  over- 
throw of  the  church ;  and  this  he  tried  to  accomplish  by  his  smooth, 
flattering  and  winning  speeches  which  he  frequently  made  to  his  asso- 
ciates, while  his  room  was  well  guarded  by  some  of  his  pupils,  ready 
to  give  him  the  wink  on  the  approach  of  anyone  who  would  not 
approve  of  his  measures.  In  this  situation  he  stated  that  he  had  the 
sanction  of  the  heads  of  the  church  for  what  he  was  about  to  do,  and 
persuaded  them  to  believe  it  and  proceeded  to  administer  to  the  few 
under  his  control  an  oath,  binding  them  to  everlasting  secrecy  to  every- 
thing which  should  be  communicated  to  them  by  himself.  Thus 
Avard  initiated  members  into  his  band,  firmly  binding  them,  by  all 
that  was  sacred,  in  the  protecting  of  each  other  in  all  things  THAT 

WERE   LAWFUL." 

This  last  lie  gives  away  all  the  rest  of  them.  So  Avard 
had  to  be  one  of  the  most  willing  devotees  of  Satan,  to 
teach  nothing  but  what  was  lawful /  Joseph  continues : 

"  Avard  would  often  affirm  to  his  company  that  the  principal  men 
of  the  church  had  put  him  forward  as  a  spokesman  and  a  leader  of 
this  band,  which  he  named  DANITES." 

So  there  was  a  Danite  band  with  secret  oaths,  but 
Joseph  and  the  church  had  nothing  to  do  with  it.  This 
looks  just  like  the  truth  !  Joseph  is  at  the  head  of  an 


190  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

organization  which  from  its  very  beginning  was  built  on 
blind  obedience  and  where  every  member  was  a  spy  on  his 
comrades.  But  no,  Joseph  knew  nothing,  and  the  Lord 
didn't  tell  him  about  it,  neither  did  "  Urim  and  Thum- 
mim."  Joseph  remained  in  perfect  ignorance  even  then 
when  Dr.  Avard  "  held  meetings  to  organize  his  men  into 
companies  of  tens  and  fifties,  appointing  a  captain  over 
each  company."  There  is  a  method  in  those  Mormon 
lies.  The  Danites?  Dr.  Avard  organized  them.  Spirit- 
ual wifery?  That  scoundrel  Bennett  introduced  it.  The 
Mountain  Meadows  Massacre?  Oh,  the  Indians  did  that, 
you  know. 

Fortunately,  we  have  got  a  good  witness  or  two  to  seal 
this  Danite  business  for  all  eternity.  DAVID  WHITMER  is 
a  good  witness  to  fix  a  doubtful  point  in  early  Mormon 
history,  isn't  he?  A  third  of  the  proof  of  the  divinity  of 
the  Book  of  Mormon  rests  on  his  shoulders :  he  is  is  one 
of  the  three  original  witnesses  of  the  American  Bible.  It 
is  my  conviction,  besides — and  I  shall  give  my  reasons  for 
it — that  David  Whitmer  was  an  honest  and  sincere  witness 
while  testifying  that  he  had  seen  the  golden  plates.  He 
was,  no  doubt,  immensely  superstitious;  it  was  easy  to 
dupe  him  and  he  was  duped,  but  he  was  not  a  man  to  put 
his  name  to  a  lie  wittingly.  We  have  seen  the  anathema 
pronounced  by  Sidney  Rigdon  and  eighty-three  leading 
Mormons  against  the  "Dissenters."  Mr.  J.  L.  Traugh- 
ber,  Jr.,  a  gentleman  living  in  Missouri  and  an  old  friend 
of  David  Whitmer,  states  in  regard  to  the  "Dissenters:" 

"  Martin  Harris,  Oliver  Cowdery,  David,  John  and  Jacob  Whitmer 
and  Hiram  Page  withdrew  from  J.  Smith  at  Kirtland  in  1837.  The 
next  year  Smith  and  Sidney  Rigdon  had  to  flee  from  Kirtland  by 
night  to  keep  from  being  imprisoned  for  banking  without  a  charter. 
They  went  to  Far  West,  Missouri,  where  David  Whitmer  was  presi- 
dent of  the  stake,  and  soon  formed  their  Danite  band  to  kill  '  Dis- 
senters/ and  fight  the  enemies  of  Zion.  David  Whitmer  and  others 
were  '  Dissenters.'  David  Patten  [the  Danite  Captain]  went  to  them, 
and  told  them  that  it  was  determined  that  they  must  die.  They  went 
out  one  evening  to  hunt  their  cows  and  did  not  go  back  again.  In  a 
few  days  the  Danites  ordered  the  families  of  those  men  to  leave  Far 
West,  with  nothing  but  the  clothing  they  wore.  But  when  the  'mob' 
had  captured  the  place,  David  Whitmer  and  the  others  went  and  got 
their  goods  and  property.  " 


Mrs.  Pratt  is   Visiting.  191 

These  are  the  doings  of  the  "  persecuted  people." 
They  try  to  kill  their  own  friends  and  drive  their  families 
into  the  woods.  They  ask  solemnly  for  their  constitu- 
tional rights  in  the  name  of  religion,  but  when  a  crank 
like  Morris  sets  up  a  little  revelation-shop  of  his  own,  they 
demolish  it  with  cannon,  killing  women,  children  and 
unarmed  men.  But  let  me  now  give  the  direct  testimony 
of  David  Whitmer  himself  in  the  Danite  question.  Says 
the  old  man  :  * 

"  SMITH  AND  RIGDON  issued  a  decree  organizing  what 
was  termed  the  '  DANITES  '  or  '  DESTROYING  ANGELS/  who 
were  bound  by  the  MOST  FEARFUL  OATHS  to  obey  the  com- 
mandments of  the  LEADERS  OF  THE  CHURCH.  The  '  Dan- 
ites '  consisted  ONLY  OF  THOSE  SELECTED  BY  SMITH  AND 
RIGDON." 

That  old  man,  over  eighty,  is  yet  alive.  He  believes 
to-day  in  the  Book  of  Mormon,  the  golden  plates,  the 
last  dispensation  and  the  new  and  everlasting  covenant. 
But  he  believes  that  Joseph  was  a  FALLEN  PROPHET  when 
he  organized  a  band  of  armed  law-breakers.  David  came 
from  a  good  family  and  had  some  property,  which  may 
explain  why  he  did  not  fall  in,  hand  and  heart,  with  the 
desperate  schemes  of  penniless  adventurers. 

But  I  have  got  a  real  bonbon  of  a  testimony  in  this 
Danite  business,  and  I  have  saved  it,  as  the  French  say, 
pour  la  bonne  bouche,  to  make  the  reader  keep  a  good 
taste  in  his  mouth.  Our  fraud-hating  friend  Mrs.  Pratt 
— she  has  become  the  reader's  friend  as  well  as  mine  by 
this  time,  I  hope — tells  the  following  story : 

"  One  day,  in  1868,  shortly  before  Apostle  Heber  C. 
Kimball  had  his  fatal  attack  of  sickness,  he  returned  to 
his  home  from  a  secret  meeting  held  in  the  Endowment 
House.  I  was  on  intimate  terms  with  the  Kimball  family 
and  was  visiting  Vilate,  the  apostle's  first  wife,  when 
Heber  came  in.  We  were  all  in  the  parlor  together,  Heber 
in  his  usual  confidential  manner,  said  to  me  :  '  Sister 

Pratt,  WE  HAVE  JUST    REORGANIZED    THE    DANITE  BAND  in 

*  Interview  with  a  reporter  of   the  "Kansas  City  Journal,"   June 
1881. 


192  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

the  Endowment  House.  FIFTY  BRETHREN  HAVE  JOINED 
AND  BEEN  SWORN  IN  !  '  Said  I :  <  Oh,  brother  Heber, 
you  have  no  use  for  the  Danites  here,  at  this  time.' 
'YES,  WE  HAVE,'  replied  the  apostle,  '  we'll  have  PLENTY 
OF  WORK  for  them  to  do  PRETTY  SOON.'  ' 

It  was  the  time  when  the  Union  Pacific  was  coming 
in,  promising  a  large  influx  of  Gentiles  and  enemies  of 
the  church.  Zion,  the  home  of  the  pure,  the  only 
refuge  of  peace  and  brotherhood  in  this  wicked  world, 
wanted  to  prepare  a  warm  reception  for  them,  wor- 
thy of  the  grand  memories  of  1838  and  1857.  It  had 
become  impossible  to  save  them  en  masse,  as  had  been 
done  with  the  Arkansas  emigrants  in  1857.  Then  the 
Kingdom  of  God  on  earth  had  full  sway,  and  one  hundred 
and  forty  men,  women  and  children  were  saved  on  the 
Mountain  Meadows  at  one  fell  swoop.  But  the  saving 
could  still  be  done  on  a  limited  scale,  by  shooting  a  fellow 
or  two  in  an  alley  now  and  then.  Didn't  they  try  to  save 
U.  S.  Attorney  Dickson  in  1886?  "HE  NEEDED  KILLING" 
as  the  popular  saying  was  in  the  glorious  time  of  the  Utah 
"Reformation,"  when  the  blood  of  Gentiles  and  apostates 
was  cheaper  than  water. 

But,  all  the  same,  it  is  a  religion,  you  see.  The  lead- 
ers may  be  fanatics,  but  they  are  sincere,  no  doubt.  The 
Mormons  have  been  persecuted  in  Ohio,  Missouri  and  Illi- 
nois. The  killing  of  Joseph  Smith  was  one  of  the  most 
disgraceful  murders  ever  committed  in  this  country.  The 
Endowment  House  is  only  a  sort  of  cranky  religious  labora- 
tory for  the  making  of  Gods,  worlds  and  devils  ;  nonsense 
to  talk  of  Mormon  treason.  Don' t  re-hash  Mormon  horrors, 
please.  Rockwell  was  a  good-natured  chap,  and  Geo.  A. 
Smith  the  Thackeray  of  Mormonism,  That  fellow  W. 
Wyl  is  one  of  the  industrious  vagabonds  who  have  created 
the  Danites  out  of  air  and  foolscap.  He  should  have 
written  a  harmless  "  philosophical  "  book  instead  of  play- 
ing scavenger.  I  am  sorry  for  him. 


Uninteresting  Tame  Criminals.  193 

JOSEPH    AS    SEER    AND    TRANSLATOR. 


Joseph  Mastering  Seven  Languages — His  Cautious  Succes- 
sors—  The  Book  of  Mormon  —  Reformed  Egyptian  — 
The  Fixing  of  Fool  Martin  Harris  —  Sample  of  Re- 
formed Egyptian  Hieroglyphics  —  Professor  Anthon 
Describes  Martin' s  Visit — -Joseph  Does  the  Same — The 
Urim  and  Thummim  and  the  Old  Peepstone — A  Secret 
of  the  Historian' s  Office — Poor  Emma  Again. 


Conscience  makes  cowards  of  us,  and  so  does  knowl- 
edge. The  more  you  know  the  more  cautious  you  get  in 
asserting.  The  man  who  knows  next  to  nothing  at  all  is 
the  most  fearless  in  proclaiming  what  he  calls  his  opinions. 
This  was  the  case  with  our  prophet.  A  minimum  of 
reading,  and  still  less  writing,  were  the  limits  of  his 
education.  This  state  of  mind  enabled  him  to  walk,  with 
the  courage  of  a  somnambulist,  the  path  on  which  the 
most  learned  proceed  with  fear  and  trembling.  And 
then,  even  .if  he  stumbled,  who  cares  ?  Do  not  the 
thousands  who  surround  him  believe  in  him  ?  Do  they 
not  consider  any  attack  on  the  Lord's  friend  the  work  of 
the  devil  ?  Joseph  Smith  is  not  the  first  leader  who  felt 
safe  in  the  stronghold  of  ignorance  and  fanaticism,  and 
he  will  not  be  the  last. 

The  boundless  impudence  with  which  Joseph  parades 
as  seer  and  translator  makes  a  superb  charlatan  of  him, 
and  gives  him  a  charm,  an  interest,  lacked  entirely  by  his 
successor,  Brigham  Young,  and  still  more  by  the  tame 
criminals  now  leading  the  *' church,"  id  est,  keeping  up 
the  original  fraud  and  pocketing  the  proceeds  thereof. 
Those  fellows  are  not  interesting  at  all.  Some  of  them, 
like  John  Taylor  and  George  Q.  Cannon,  have  just 
enough  of  a  second-hand  education  to  see  through  the 
tremendous  blunders  committed  by  the  first  prophet. 


194  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Cunning  Brigham,  discerning  any  dangers  to  his  king- 
dom with  the  eye  of  the  trembling  coward  Tiberius, 
began  to  eliminate  from  the  church  literature  certain  too 
palpable  humbugs,  like  Rigdon's  "inspired  and  cor- 
rected" Bible,  and  Mother  Lucy's  "  Life  of  the  Prophet." 
The  present  leaders  continue  this  policy.  They  avoid, 
like  Brigham,  the  dangerous  tricks  of  seership,  translating 
by  inspiration,  discoveries  of  plates  and  papyrus  —  all' the 
juggleries  performed  by  the  great  Nauvoo  Blondin  on  the 
prophetic  tight-rope.  The  "  Urim  and  Thumrnim  "  has 
been  enjoying  a  good  long  rest  since  1844,  and  the 
utterances  of  the  present  leaders  confine  their  impudence 
to  attacks  on  Federal  officers,  and  their  lying  to  the  old 
legend  of  the  "persecuted  people,"  "persecution  for 
conscience'  sake,"  etc. 

Oh,  give  me  an  hour  of  Blondin,  high  above  thousands 
of  "faithful"  heads  at  Nauvoo,  and  I  make  you  a 
present  of  all  the  speeches  and  writings  of  the  present 
type  of  oily,  polygamic  tithing-eaters.  Why,  Blondin  is 
an  arrant  bungler  compared  with  rope-walker  Joe.  Says 
the  prophet  in  a  letter  dated  Nauvoo,  Nov.  13,  1843  : 

"  Were  I  an  Egyptian,  I  would  exclaim,  Jah-oh-eh,  Enish-go-on- 
dosh,  Flo-ees,  Flos-is-is  [O,  the  earth !  the  power  of  attraction  and  the 
moon  passing  between  her  and  the  sun] ;  a  Hebrew,  Haueloheem 
yerau ;  a  Greek,  O  theos  phos  esi ;  a  Roman,  Dominus  regit  me ;  a 
German,  Gott  gebe  uns  das  licht;  a  Portugee,  Senhor  Jesu  Christo 
libordade  ;  a  Frenchman,  Dieu  defend  le  droit ;  but  as  1  am,  I  give 
God  the  glory,  etc.  ..." 

Is  this  not  superb?  How  he  handles  them — seven  lan- 
guages in  one  little  paragraph  !  Why,  I  feel  like  a  whipped 
school-boy  with  my  poor,  dusty  relics  of  Latin  and  Greek 
and  a  smattering  of  French  and  Italian. 

"  Problem  is  derived  from  problems  (French)  or  probleme  (Latin,^ 
Italian  or  Spanish),  and  in  each  language  means  a  question  or  propo-"* 
sition,  whether  true  or  false." 

Joe  knows  that  problem  is  originally  Greek,  but  then 
a  little  modesty  adorns  even  a  prophet.  But  modesty 
would  be  out  of  its  place  where  Joe  speaks  in  the  sublime 
character  of  head  of  the  church  and  possessor  of  the  great- 


Joe  the  Learned  Oracle  of  the  Age.  195 

est  collection  of  KEYS  ever  known.     Says  he,  in  the  same 
letter  : 

"  The  fact  is,  that  by  the  power  of  God  I  translated  the  Book  of 
Mormon  from  hieroglyphics,  the  knowledge  of  which  was  lost  to  the 
world  ...  I  have  witnessed  the  visions  of  eternity,  and  beheld  the 
glories  of  the  mansions  of  bliss  and  the  regions  and  the  misery  of  the 
damned  ...  I  have  heard  the  voice  of  God  and  communed  with 
angels,  and  spake,  as  moved  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  for  the  renewal  of  the 
everlasting  covenant  and  for  the  gathering  of  Israel  in  the  last  days 
...  I,  who  hold  the  Keys  of  the  last  Kingdom." 

Where  are  you,  Cannon  and  Taylor,  eh?  You  hide  in 
the  bushes  like  our  first  parents  after  the  fall.  And  you 
are  nowhere  at  all,  when  you  hear  this  flourish  : 

"  I  combat  the  errors  of  ages ;  I  meet  the  violence  of  mobs ;  I 
cope  with  illegal  proceedings  from  executive  authority;  I  cut  the 
Gordian  knot  of  powers,  and  I  solve  mathematical  problems  of  Uni- 
versities WITH  TRUTH,  diamond  truth,  and  GOD  is  MY  RIGHT-HAND 

MAN." 

This  was  written,  or  rather  signed,  by  Joe  seven  months 
before  the  lynchers  in  Carthage  cut  the  Gordian  knot  of 
the  most  cheeky  imposture  ever  perpetrated.  Let  us  now 
review  the  greatest  features  of  this  fraud.  But  bear  it  in 
mind,  reader,  I  do  not  want  to  treat  this  exquisite  bit  of 
fun  au  serifuXj  as  the  gay  Parisian  has  it.  I  want  to  enjoy 
the  fun  and  want  you  to  enjoy  it  with  me.  Have  you  ever 
seen  a  poor,  ranting  squib  of  a  fellow,  born  to  be  a  village 
tailor  and  nothing  else,  play  Macbeth  or  Othello?  That's 
the  kind  of  a  treat  I  invite  you  to.  Don't  expect  any 
"philosophy,"  any  high-toned  discussion  from  me  about 
a  most  ridiculous  and  patent  humbug. 

•  Lei's  first  take  up  the  Book  of  Mormon.  Rigdon,  the 
cunning  tanner,  gets  crazy  about  the  theological  strifes  of 
his  time  and  wants  to  bs  the  founder  of  a  religion  him- 
self. He  makes  a  bible  of  the  scribbling-;  of  a  pedantic 
crank.  His  instinct  tells  him  that  the  contemplated 
fraud  would  fall  flat  with  the  educated  classes,  but  would 
work  like  a  charm  with  the  superstitious  ignorant.  His 
experience  as  a  preacher  tells  him  how  to  succeed  with 
this  latter  class :  Lots  of  miracles,  first  and  foremost, 
and  the  more  incredible  the  better.  A  new  system  of 
theology,  a  new  frame  for  the  old  moral  code  ? — no,  that 


196  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

wouldn't  do.  Not  convince,  but  surprise,  daze,  over- 
whelm them.  How  many  honest  physicians  do  succeed  ? 
A  few.  How  many  charlatans?  Nearly  all.  So  let  us 
have  golden  plates,  buried  and  dug  up  by  angels ;  open 
the  heavens  and  let  them  come  down  and  talk  to  us,  the 
father  and  the  son,  the  old  prophets  and  apostles. 

But  how  avoid  discovery  ?  There's  the  rub.  Peeper 
Joseph  translates  by  the  power  of  God,  but  what?  We 
must  invent  some  unheard-of  language.  Egyptian  hiero- 
glyphics— very  good.*  But  those  learned  fellows  begin  to 
translate  them  ;  that  wouldn't  be  safe.  They  would  ask 
to  see  a  sample  of  our  hieroglyphics,  and  that  would  give 
away  our  whole  game.  But  reformed  Egyptian,  how  is 
that  ?  Any  unintelligible  scrawl  can  be  shown  as  reformed 
hieroglyphics.  Nobody  can  read  them,  and  isn't  this 
just  what  is  prophesied  in  the  Scriptures  ? 

"  And  the  vision  of  all  is  become  unto  you  as  the  words  of  a  book 
that  is  sealed,  which  men  deliver  to  one  that  is  learned,  saying,  read 
this,  I  pray  thee  ;  and  he  saith,  I  cannot,  for  it  is  sealed."  (Isaiah  29.) 

So  we  want  a  miraculous  book  in  a  language  unknown 
to  the  whole  world  ;  it  must  be  sealed.  Any  of  the  "  pro- 
fessors" of  this  world  will  say:  "I  can't  read  it." 
That's  what  we  want.  Eureka  !  This  prevents  discovery 
and  fulfills  Scripture ;  it  makes  us  a  riddle  with  the  edu- 
cated and  a  success  with  the  ignorant.  The  "reformed 
Egyptian  "  was  adopted,  after  many  a  sleepless  night,  no 
doubt,  by  Rigdon.  But  how  get  the  rhino  for  publica- 
tion? My  servants  Sidney  and  Joseph  had  not  a  dollar  in 
the  world  and  their  credit  was  surely  not  far  above  that 

*  The  Book  of  Mormon  contains  the  records  of  descendants  of  the 
Jews,  and  is  written  by  Jews.  But  still  they  write  in  Egyptian  hiero- 
glyphics, notwithstanding  the  notorious  fact  that  Jews  have  the  utmost 
jealous  veneration  for  their  own  language,  and  hate  all  that's 
Egyptian-like,  as  the  French  do  anything  connected  with  Germany 
and  Bismarck.  But  what  is  all  this  to  the  "  restorers  of  the  House  of 
Israel?"  They  wanted  a  language  "the  knowledge  of  which  was 
lost  to  the  world,"  id  «/,  a  fraud  that  could  not  be  detected  by  the 
vulgar  at  first  sight.  The  "  reformed  Egyptian  "  and  the  hieroglyphics 
"thereof"  are  in  harmony  with  Sidney's  education,  the  clumsiest 
hoax  ever  invented,  but  they  were  mysterious  and  miraculous  enough 
for  the  average  Mormon  neophyte. 


Martin  Fixed  with  Reformed  Egyptian.  197 

enjoyed  by  tramps  in  general  in  this  great  and  free  coun- 
try. A  substantial  fool  had  to  be  fixed,  it  is  clear.  And 
in  there  steps  upon  the  scene  of  Mormon  history  the 
greatest  and  best  fixed  of  all  the  innumerable  fools  fixed 
by  this  "  faith" — farmer  MARTIN  HARRIS.  .  , 

Did  you  ever  know  a  Martin  Harris  ?  I  have  known 
lots  of  them,  in  pants  and  in  petticoats.  They  believe 
anything,  and  the  more  miraculous  it  is,  the  easier  they 
swallow  it.  Joe's  Martin  saw  the  devil,  and  "he  looked 
like  a  jackass,  and  had  hair  like  a  mouse."  He  wrote 
prophesies  like  this  : 

"  I  do  hereby  assert  and  declare  that  in  four  years  from  the  date 
hereof,  every  sectarian  and  religious  denomination  in  the  United 
States  shall  be  broken  down,  and  every  Christian  shall  be  gathered 
unto  the  Mormonites,  and  the  rest  of  the  human  race  shall  perish.  If 
these  things  do  not  take  place,  I  will  hereby  consent  to  have  my  hand 
separated  from  my  body." 

Not  much  fixing  was  needed  with  such  a  fool.  He 
mortgaged  his  farm,  and  paid  the  $3,000  to  the  printer, 
and  so  Mr.  Tullidge's  "  Messianic  wave  "  could  sweep 
on.  But  before  shelling  out  he  had  a  doubt  now  and 
then.  So  Joseph  had  to  arrange  with  some  one  who  was 
in  the  secret  for  the  last  finishing  touch  of  this  fixing  job. 
Harris  expressed  a  wish  to  show  some  of  the  hieroglyphics 
to  some  learned  men  east.  Joe  feels  a  little  embarrassed, 
but  a  way  is  found  out  of  the  difficulty.  He  is  somewhat 
of  a  penman,  that  pal  behind  the  curtain,  and  he  sits 
down  and  makes  hieroglyphics,  not  the  old  kind  seen  on 
Egyptian  temples  and  obelisks,  but  "reformed"  ones. 
"You  will  see,  Martin,"  says  Joe  to  the  man  who  has 
seen  the  devil,  "  those  learned  professors  cannot  read  this 
book ;  it  can  only  be  read  by  the  gift  and  power  of  God. 
They'll  of  course  tell  you  they  cannot  read  it,  just  as 
predicted  by  Isaiah ;  and  if  you  tell  them  about  a  sealed 
book,  or  that  the  book  was  given  to  me  by  angels,  they 
will  laugh,  Martin.  Those  wise  fools  always  laugh  at  the 
wisdom  of  God." 

When  I  first  got  a  glimpse  of  the  "  reformed"  hiero- 
glyphics in  some  Gentile  publication,  I  thought  that  they 
must  be  a  hoax,  invented  by  some  wag,  and  published  by 


198 


Mormon  Portraits.  —  /.  Joseph  Smith. 


some  too  credulous  writer.  But,  to  my  infinite  astonish- 
ment, I  found  the  original  in  two  church  publications,  in 
the  "Prophet11  and  the  Millennia  Star.  This  is  an 
exact  copy  : 


Do  you  know  of  any  smart  boy  of  say  ten  or  twelve 
years  who  could  not  make  better  "reformed"  hiero- 
glyphics? Better  and  more  complete?  For  "  21  +  4=  " 
is  not  complete  ;  it  should  read,  even  in  reformed  Egypt- 
ian, "  21  +  4=125."  Still  they  were  Egyptian  enough  for 


The  Fool  Interviews  the  Scholar.  199 

Martin,  and  he  went  with  them  to  ^Professor  Anthon  in 
New  York.  Mr.  Anthon  had  a  great  fame  for  learning  in 
ancient  languages.  Before  going  to  Anthon,  however, 
Martin  paid  a  call  on  Dr.  Mitchell.  Dr.  M.  could  not 
read  the  hieroglyphics  ;  you  might  as  well  have  asked  him 
for  the  meaning  of  the  natural  design  of  a  piece  of  wood. 
Prof.  Anthon  gives,  in  a  letter  dated  Feb.  17,,  1834,  a 
very  lively  description  of  Martin's  visit : 

"  The  whole  story  about  my  having  pronounced  the  Mormonite 
inscription  to.be  'REFORMED  EGYPTIAN  HIEROGLYPHICS'  is  PER- 
FECTLY FALSE.  Some  years  ago  a  plain-  and  apparently  simple- 
hearted  farmer  called  upon  me  with  a  note  from  Dr.  Mitchell,  of  our 
city,  now  deceased,  requesting  me  to  decipher,  if  possible,  a  paper 
which  the  farmer  would  hand  me,  and  which  Dr.  M.  confessed  he 
had  been  unable  to  understand.  Upon  examining  the  paper  in 
question  I  soon  came  to  the  conclusion  that  it  was  all  a  trick,  perhaps 
a  hoax.  When  I  asked  the  person  who  brought  it  how  he  obtained 
the  writing,  he  gave  me,  as  far  as  I  can  now  recollect,  the  following 
account : 

"  A  ' gold  book,'1  consisting  of  a  number  of  plates  of  gold,  fastened 
together  in  the  shape  of  a  book  by  wires  of  the  same  metal,  had  been 
dug  up  in  the  Northern  part  of  the  State  of  New  York,  and  along 
with  the  book  an  enormous  pair  of  '  GOLD  SPECTACLES  ! '  These 
spectacles  were  so  large  that  if  a  person  attempted  to  look  through 
them,  his  two  eyes  would  have  to  be  turned  towards  one  of  the  glasses 
merely,  the  spectacles  in  question  being  altogether  too  large  for  the 
breadth  of  the  human  face.  Whoever  examined  the  plates  through 
the  spectacles  was  enabled  not  only  to  read  them,  but  fully  to  under- 
stand their  meaning.  All  this  knowledge,  however,  was  confined  at 
that  time  to  a  young  man  who  had  the  trunk  containing  the  book  and 
spectacles  in  his  sole  possession.  This  young  man  was  placed  BE- 
HIND A  CURTAIN,  in  the  garret  of  a  farm  house,  and  being  concealed 
from  view,  put  on  the  spectacles  occasionally,  or  rather  looked  through 
one  of  the  glasses,  deciphered  the  characters  in  the  book  and,  having 
committed  some  of  them  to  paper,  handed  copies  from  behind  the  cur- 
tain to  those  who  stood  on  the  outside.  Not  a  word,  however,  was 
said  about  the  plates  having  been  deciphered  '  by  the  gift  of  God.' 
Everything,  in  this  way,  was  effected  by  the  large  pair  of  spectacles. 

"  The  farmer  added  that  he  had  been  requested  to  contribute  a 
sum  of  money  towards  the  publication  of  the  '  golden  book,'  the  con- 
tents of  which  would,  as  he  had  been  assured,  produce  an  entire 
change  in  the  world  and  save  it  from  ruin.  So  urgent  had  been  these 
solicitations  that  he  intended  selling  his  farm  and  handing  over  the 
amount  received  to  those  who  wished  to  publish  the  plates.  As  a  last 
precautionary  step,  however,  he  had  resolved  to  come  to  New  York, 
and  obtain  the  opinion  of  the  learned  about  the  meaning  of  the  paper 


2oo  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

which  he  had  brought  with  him,  and  which  had  been  given  him  as  a 
part  of  the  contents  of  the  book,  although  NO  TRANSLATION  had  been 
furnished  at  the  time  by  the  young  man  with  the  spectacles. 

"  On  hearing  this  odd  story,  I  changed  my  opinion  about  the 
paper  and,  instead  of  viewing  it  any  longer  as  a  hoax  upon  the 
learned,  I  began  to  regard  it  as  part  of  a  scheme  to  cheat  the  farmer 
of  his  money,  and  I  communicated  my  suspicions  to  him,  warning 
him  to  beware  of  rogues.  He  requested  an  opinion  from  me  in 
writing,  wnich  of  course  /  declined  giving,  and  he  then  took  his 
leave,  carrying  the  paper  with  him. 

"  This  paper  was  in  fact  a  singular  scrawl.  It  consisted  of  all 
kinds  of  crooked  characters,  disposed  in  columns,  and  had  evidently 
been  prepared  by  some  person  who  had  before  him  at  the  time  a  book 
containing  various  alphabets.  Greek  and  Hebrew  letters,  crosses  and 
flourishes,  Roman  letters,  inverted  or  placed  sideways,  were  placed  in 
perpendicular  columns,  and  the  whole  ended  in  a  rude  delineation  of 
a  circle  divided  into  various  compartments,  decked  with  various 
strange  marks,  and  evidently  copied  after  the  Mexican  Calendar  given 
by  Humboldt,  but  copied  in  such  a  way  as  not  to  betray  the  source 
whence*  it  was  derived.  I  am  thus  particular  as  to  the  contents  of  the 
paper,  inasmuch  as  I  have  frequently  conversed  with  my  friends  on  the 
subject,  since  the  Mormonite  excitement  began,  and  well  remember 
that  the  paper  contained  ANYTHING  EL>E  BUT  'EGYPTIAN  HIERO- 
GLYPHICS.' 

Some  time  after  the  farmer  paid  me  a  second  visit.  He  brought 
with  him  the  golden  book  in  print,  [the  first  edition  of  the  Book  of 
Mormon]  and  offered  it  to  me  for  sale.  I  declined  purchasing.  He 
then  asked  permission  to  leave  the  book  with  me  for  examination.  I 
declined  receiving  it,  although  his  manner  was  strangely  urgent. 
I  adverted  once  more  to  the  ROGUERY  which  had  been,  in  my  opinion, 
practiced  upon  him,  and  asked  him  what  had  become  of  the  GOLD 
PLATES.  He  informed  me  that  they  were  in  a  trunk  with  the  large 
pair  of  spectacles.  I  advised  him  to  go  to  a  magistrate  and  have  the 
trunk  examined.  He  said  '  the  curse  of  God  '  would  come  upon  him 
should  he  do  this.  On  my  pressing  him,  however,  to  pursue  the 
course  which  I  had  recommended,  he  told  me  that  he  would  open  the 
trunk  if  I  would  take  « the  curse  of  God '  upon  myself.  I  replied 
that  I  would  do  so  with  the  greatest  willingness,  and  would  incur 
every  risk  of  that  nature,  provided  I  could  only  rescue  him  from  the 
grasp  of  rog^^es.  He  then  left  me." 

How  good-natured  and  polite  that  professor  was  !  How 
fatherly  his  talk  to  the  poor  fool  !  But  Martin  is  fixed 
beyond  redemption.  Any  objection  only  serves  to  show 
to  him  that  scripture  is  being  literally  fulfilled,  wherever 
the  wicked  world  comes  in  contact  with  the  new  gospel. 
He  returns  to  Joe  and  shows  the  curious  form  which  the 


Joe  Lies  Uncommonly.  201 

New  York  events  have  taken  in  his  devil-digesting  brain. 
We  have  no  direct  tale  from  Martin,  but  Joe  gives  (in  his 
truthful  way)  his  version  of  the  whole  occurrence.  Says 
he: 

"  Martin  got  the  characters  which  I  had  drawn  off  the  plates  and 
started  with  them  to  the  city  of  New  York.  For  what  took  place  rel 
ative  to  him  and  the  characters  I  refer  to  his  own  account  of  the  cir- 
cumstances, as  he  related  them  to  me  after  his  return,  which  was  as 
follows  :  I  went  to  the  city  of  New  York  and  presented  the  charac- 
ters which  had  been  translated,  with  the  translation  thereof,  to  Profes- 
sor Anthon,  a  gentleman  celebrated  for  his  literary  attainments.  Pro- 
fessor Anthon  stated  THAT  THE  TRANSLATION  WAS  CORRECT,  MORE 

SO  THAN  ANY  HE  HAD  BEFORE  SEEN  TRANSLATED  FROM  THE  EGYP- 
TIAN. I  then  showed  him  those  which  were  not  yet  translated,  and  he 
said  that  they  were  EGYPTIAN,  CHALDAIC,  ASSYRIAC  and  ARABIC, 
and  he  said  that  they  were  the  TRUE  CHARACTERS.  He  gave  me  a 
CERTIFICATE,  certifying  to  the  people  of  Palmyra  that  they  were  true 
characters,  and  that  the  translation  of  such  of  them  as  had  been  trans- 
lated was  also  correct.  I  took  the  certificate  and  put  it  into  my  pocket, 
and  was  just  leaving  the  house  when  Mr.  Anthon  called  me  back,  and 
asked  me  how  the  young  man  found  out  that  there  was  gold  plates 
in  the  place  where  he  found  them.  I  answered  that  an  angel  of  God 
had  revealed  it  unto  him.  He  then  said  to  me,  Let  me  see  that  certif- 
icate. I  accordingly  took  it  out  of  my  pocket  and  gave  it  to  him,  when 
he  took  it  and  tore  it  to  pieces,  saying  that  there  was  no  such  thing 
now  as  ministering  of  angels,  and  that  if  I  would  bring  the  plates  to 
him  he  would  translate  them.  I  informed  him  that  part  of  the  plates 
were  SEALED,  and  that  I  was  forbidden  to  bring  them.  He  replied, 
'  I  cannot  read  a  sealed  book."1  I  left  him  and  went  to  Dr.  Mitchell,  who 
SANCTIONED  what  Professor  Anthon  had  said,  respecting  both  the 
characters  and  translation.'1  " 

I  doubt  whether  there  ever  was,  since  the  world  exists, 
more  lying  done  to  the  square  inch  than  we  see  in  this  tale 
of  the  peeper.  And  how  he  contradicts  himself.  He 
says  he  gave  the  characters  to  Martin,  and  then  Martin 
shows  to  Anthon,  all  of  a  sudden,  the  characters  and 
translation.  Anthon  says  there  was  no  translation.  Joseph 
says  Anthon  found  the  translation  from  the  Egyptian  cor- 
rect, more  correct  than  any  he  had  ever  seen.  From  the 
Egyptian  !  Does  Egyptian  consist  of  Chaldaic,  Assyriac 
and  Arabic?  Is  your  reformed  Egyptian  not  a  language 
entirely  unknown  to  the  world?  Didn't  you  write,  Nov.  13, 
1843: 


202  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Joseph  Smith. 

"  By  the  power  of  God  I  translated  the  Book  of  Mormon  from 
hieroglyphics,  the  knowledge  of  which  was  lost  to  the  world  ?  " 

Has  Professor  Anthon,  like  you,  the  power  of  God  as 
a  help  when  translating?  Or,  if  any  man  learned  in  hiero- 
glyphics can  translate  your  signs,  what  use  is  there  for 
your  "Seer  Stone"  or  Urim  and  Thummim,  power  of 
God  and  special  inspiration?  But  what's  the  use  of  cross- 
examining  you  before  a  set  of  fellows  who  could  never 
make  a  fat  living  and  ride  in  fine  buggies,  if  not  keeping 
up  the  fraud?  Says  our  excellent  little  Sunday-school 
Catechism  of  1882  : 

Q.  To  what  city  did  Joseph  send  a  copy  of  some  of  the  charac- 
ters? 

A.  To  New  York. 

Q.  Who  took  this  copy  ? 

A.  Martin  Harris. 

Q.  To  whom  did  he  show  it  ? 

A.  To  Professor  Charles  Anthon. 

Q.  Who  was  Professor  Anthon  ? 

A.  A  very  learned  man. 

Q.  What  did  the  Professor  say  about  the  characters  ? 

A.  That  they  were  TRUE  and  that  THE  TRANSLATION  WAS  COR- 
RECT. 

Q.  When  Martin  Harris  informed  him  that  part  of  the  plates 
were  sealed,  what  did  he  say  ? 

A.  That  he  could  not  read  a  sealed  book. 

Q.  By  what  ancient  prophet  was  this  circumstance  foretold  ? 

A.  By  Isaiah,  Chapter  29,  verse  n — 14. 

Q.  How  long  ago  was  it  that  this  prophecy  was  uttered  ? 

A.  About  twenty-six  hundred  years. 

Q.  When  was  it  fulfilled  ? 

A.  In  April,  1828. 

Q.  Did  Martin  Harris  show  the  characters  AND  THE  TRANSLATION 
to  anyone  else  ? 

A.  Yes,  to  Dr.  Mitchell. 

Q.  Who  was  Dr.  Mitchell  ? 

A.  A  gentleman  learned  in  ancient  languages. 

Q.  What  did  he  say  ? 

A.  The  same  as  Professor  Authon  had  said,  that  the  CHARACTERS 
were  TRUE  ones  and  that  the  TRANSLATION  was  CORRECT. 

But  enough  of  this  kind  of  rot.     Look  at   the   hiero- 
glyphics, or  let  your  little  Freddy  look  at  them,  that  bright  " 
boy  who  writes  so  nice  a  hand.    He  will  soon  find  out  the 
trick  how  to  make  "reformed"   Egyptian  hieroglyphics. 


Stories  About  the  Old  Peep  stone.  203 

The  chief  element  of  the  whole  fun  lies  in  its  palpable 
clumsiness.  Is  it  a  wonder  that  there  never  was  a  Mormon 
with  something  like  an  education  who  has  remained  in 
the  "church?" 

Take  that  other  most  holy  hoax  about  the  "  Urim  and 
Thummim."  Harris  speaks  to  Anthon  of  huge  "gold 
spectacles."  Lucy's  three-cornered  diamonds  are  set  in 
silver.  Harris  says  later:  "The  prophet  possessed  a 
SEER  STONE,  by  which  he  was  enabled  to  translate,  as  well 
as  from  the  Urim  and  Thummim,  and  for  convenience  he 
then  used  the  seer  stone."  David  Whitmer  says :  "The 
tablets  or  plates  were  translated  by  Smith,  who  used  a 
small  oval  or  kidney-shaped  stone,  f#/fo/"tjriro  and  Thum- 
mim." *  Emma  says  on  her  death-bed  to  her  son  Joseph: 

"  In  writing  for  your  father  I  frequently  wrote  day  after  day,  often 
sitting  at  the  table  close  by  him,  he  sitting  with  his  face  buried  in  his 
hat  with  THE  stone  in  it." 

And  finally  comes  the  solemn  church  organ,  the  Dese- 
ret  News,  and  hands  us  one  of  the  anointed  cats  out  of  its 
bag: 

"  The  next  error  is  that  the  seer  stone  WHICH  JOSEPH  USED  IN 
THE  TRANSLATION  was  called  Urim  and  Thummim.  The  instrument 
thus  denominated  was  composed  of  two  crystal  stones  set  in  the  two 
rims  of  a  bow.  The  seer  stone  was  separate  and  distinct  from  the 
Urim  and  Thummim.  The  latter  was  delivered  to  the  angel  as 
well  as  the  plates  after  the  translation  was  completed,  f  The  former 
remained  with  the  church  and  is  NOW  IN  THE  POSSESSION  OF  THE 
PRESIDENT." 

Out  with  it,  ye  Mormon  Historians  and  Presidents, 
and  let  us  have  a  look  at  the  whole  juggling  apparatus ! 

*  There  is  no  mention  of  the  Urim  and  Thummim  in  the  revela- 
tions as  originally  published  in  1833.  It  was  a  later  concoction,  and  I 
cannot  but  admire  the  skill  of  the  Mormon  Lord  in  amending  his 
revelations.  Like  all  great  writers  he  never  seems  satisfied  with  his 
work.  There's  always  room  for  improvement. 

f  That  is,  in  the  summer  of  1829.  But  Endowment-House-Devil 
Phelps  is  really  the  originator  of  the  Urim  and  Thummim  in  Mormon- 
ism.  This  was  while  our  devil  was  conducting  the  Evening  and 
Morning  Star  in  the  land  of  Missouri,  1832-3.  But  his  brilliant  idea 
arrived  too  late  to  be  got  into  the  first  edition  of  the  Lord's  "  revela- 
tions." 


204  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

You  have  the  old  peep-stone,  stolen  from  the  children  of 
Mr.  Chase  (see  Appendix,  Documents)  and  you  have  even 
the  PLATES,  with  which  Joe  and  Cowdery  duped  Martin 
Harris,  the  Whitmers  and  poor  Emma.  I  know  you  have  got 
them  :  somebody  saw  them  in  the  safe  of  the  Historian's 
office  and  told  me.  They  are  a  bundle  of  brass  plates, 
with  some  scratches  on  them,  that  fools  would  take  for 
"hieroglyphics."  Gowdery  made  them  and  Joe  showed 
them  to  the  "witnesses"  with  a  great  ado  and  hocuspo- 
cus.  People  who  swallow  the  hieroglyphics  and  your  tale 
about  Martin's  visit  to  Prof.  Anthon,  would  swallow 
anything,  even  if  you  had  a  mind  to  assert  that  humming 
birds  in  the  other  world  look  just  like  our  elephants.  You 
had  a  little  bundle  of  brass  plates,  Joe,  with  some  scratches 
on  them,  cost  of  the  whole  thing  two  or  three  dollars,  and 
they  explain  a  certificate  like  this  : 

Be  it  known  unto  all  nations,  kindreds,  tongues  and  people  unto 
whom  this  work  shall  come,  that  Joseph  Smith,  Jun.,  the  translator  of 
this  work,  has  shewn  unto  us  the  plates  of  which  hath  been  spoken, 
which  have  the  appearance  of  gold ;  and  as  many  of  the  leaves  as  the 
said  Smith  has  translated  we  did  handle  with  our  hands;  and  we 
also  saw  the  ENGRAVINGS  thereon,  all  of  which  has  the  appearance  of 
ancient  work,  and  of  curious  workmanship.  And  this  we  bear  record 
with  words  of  soberness,  that  the  said  Smith  has  shewn  unto  us,  for 
we  have  seen  and  HEFTED,  and  know  of  a  surety  that  the  said  Smith 
has  got  the  plates  of  which  we  have  spoken.  And  we  give  our  names 
unto  the  world,  to  witness  unto  the  world  that  which  we  have  seen ; 
and  we  lie  not,  God  bearing  witness  of  it." 

CHRISTIAN  WHITMER,  HIRAM  PAGE, 

JACOB  WHITMER,  JOSEPH  SMITH,  Sen., 

PETER  WHITMER,  Jr.,  HYR.UM  SMITH, 

JOHN  WHITMER,  SAMUEL  H.  SMITH. 

I  am  aware  the  said  Smith  avers  in  his  history  that  he 
handed  the  plates  over  to  "  the  angel  "  after  he,  the  said 
Smith,  had  translated  them.  But  that  statement,  like 
most  of  the  said  Smith's,  don't  count.  As  they  have  been 
seen  and  handled,  "  hefted,"  and  the  engravings  thereon 
seen  in  the  Historian's  office  in  this  city,  now  why  can't 
we  all  have  a  "  go  "  at  them,  I  ask  ? 

And  those  made-up  plates  explain  a  statement  like  this 
from  the  pale  lips  of  poor  dying  Emma: 


Emma  Fingers  the  Plates.  205 

"  The  plates  often  lay  on  the  table  without  any  attempt  at  con- 
cealment, wrapped  in  a  small  linen  table-cloth,  which  I  had  given 
him  [Joseph]  to  fold  them  in.  I  once  felt  of  the  plates  as  they  thus 
lay  on  the  table,  tracing  their  outline  and  shape.  They  seemed  to  be 
pliable,  like  thick  paper,  and  would  rustle  with  a  metallic  sound 
when  the  edges  were  moved  by  the  thumb,  as  one  does  sometimes 
thumb  the  edges  of  a  book." 

No,  you  poor  martyr,  you  did  not  lie  about  the  plates 
on  the  brink  of  eternity.  You  were  no  fool,  but  you 
were  fixed,  all  the  same,  by  the  tenderness  and  confidence 
you  felt  for  the  man  of  your  love. 

But  you,  gentle  reader,  don't  you  see  him  now  clear 
before  your  eyes,  the  greatest  fool-fixer  of  the  age  ?  Don't 
you  see  him  with  hat  and  peepstone,  a  bundle  of  false 
plates,  and  Rigdon's  crazy,  absurd,  tedious,  disgusting 
nonsense  about  Lehi  and  Nephi,  Nephites  and  Lamanites, 
Mormon  and  Moroni  ?  Do  I  need  anything  else  than  his 
own  stupid  lies  and  impossible  languages  and  hiero- 
glyphics to  convict  him  ?  But  you  might  like  a  tremen- 
dous clincher,  all  the  same,  and  you  shall  have  it,  to  your 
heart's  content,  in  the  next  chapter. 


THE   KINDERHOOK   PLATES. 


A  Superlative  Hoax — John  Taylor  Prematurely  Happy  — 
Affidavit  of  Fugate  as  to  his  Hieroglyphics — The  Dollar 
Sign  as  Hieroglyphic — Joe  Finds  and  Gives  the  Key  — 
The  Royal  Descendant  of  Ham  —  A  King  Nine  Feet 
High  — Orson  Pratt  Knows  the  Fraud— The  "Sin- 
cerity "  of  a  Lot  of  Cheats. 


The  day  came  when  the  seer  and  translator  was  caught 
in  a  trap.  The  true  story  of  the  celebrated  plates  "  found" 
at  Kiriderhook,  Illinois,  April  23,  1843,  and  unearthed, 
for  the  second  time,  by  my  indefatigable  friend  Cobb, 
after  long  digging  and  delving,  nails  the  translator  down 


206  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

for  all  eternity.  Let  me  introduce  the  documents.  The 
first  is  an  article  in  the  Nauvoo  church  organ,  the  Times 
and  Seasons.  I  reproduce  it  in  toto  from  the  original : 

(TO   THE   EDITOR   OF   THE   "TIMES    AND   SEASONS.") 

On  the  1 6th  of  April,  1843,  a  respectable  merchant,  by  the  name 
of  Robert  Wiley,  commenced  digging  in  a  large  mound  near  this 
place ;  he  excavated  to  a  depth  of  ten  feet  and  came  to  rock.  About 
that  time  the  rain  began  to  fall,  and  he  abandoned  the  work.  On  the 
23d,  he  and  quite  a  number  of  the  citizens,  with  myself,  repaired  to 
the  mound,  and  after  making  ample  opening,  we  found  plenty  of 
rock,  the  most  of  which  appeared  as  though  it  had  been  strongly 
burned ;  and  after  removing  full  two  feet  of  said  rock,  we  found 
plenty  of  charcoal  and  ashes,  also  human  bones  that  appeared  as 
though  they  had  been  burned  ;  and  near  the  eciphalon  a  bundle  was 
found  that  consisted  of  Six  PLATES  OF  BRASS,  of  a  bell  shape,  each 
having  a  hole  near  the  the  small  end,  and  a  ring  through  them  all, 
and  clasped  with  two  clasps.  The  ring  and  clasps  appeared  to  be 
iron,  very  much  oxidated:  the  plates  first  appeared  to  be  copper,  and 
had  the  appearance  of  being  covered  with  characters.  It  was  agreed 
by  the  company  that  I  should  cleanse  the  plates.  Accordingly  I  took 
them  to  my  house,  washed  them  with  soap  and  water  and  a  woolen 
cloth;  but  finding  them  not  yet  cleansed,  I  treated  them  with  dilute 
sulphuric  acid,  which  made  them  perfectly  clean,  on  which  it  appeared 
that  they  were  completely  covered  with  characters,  that  none,  as  yet, 
have  been  able  to  read.  Wishing  that  the  world  might  know  the 
hidden  things  as  fast  as  they  come  to  light,  I  was  induced  to  state  the 
facts,  hoping  that  you  would  give  them  an  insertion  in  your  excellent 
paper,  for  we  all  feel  anxious  to  know  the  true  meaning  of  the  plates, 
and  publishing  the  facts  might  lead  to  the  true  translation.  They 
were  found,  I  judge,  more  than  twelve  feet  below  the  surface  of  the 
top  of  the  mound. 

I  am  most  respectfully,  a  citizen  of  Kinderhook, 

W.  P.  HARRIS,  M.  D. 


The  following  Certificate  was  forwarded  for  publication  at 
the  same  time  : — 

We,  citizens  of  Kinderhook,  whose  names  are  annexed,  do  certify 
and  declare,  that  on  the  23d  of  April,  1843,  while  excavating  a  large 
mound  in  this  vicinity,  Mr.  R.  Wiley  took  from  said  mound  six  brass 
plates,  of  a  bell  shape,  covered  with  ancient  characters.  Said  plates 
were  very  much  oxidated.  The  bands  and  rings  on  said  plates 
mouldered  into  dust  on  a  slight  pressure. 

ROBERT  WILEY,  G.  W.  F.  WARD,    FAYETTE  GRUBB, 

W.    LONGNECKER,  IRA   S.    CURTIS,  W.    P.    HARRIS, 

GEORGE  DECKENSON,  J.  R.  SHARP,    W.  FUGATE. 


John    Taylor  Sure  of  the   Translation.  207 

John  Taylor,  now  become  "the  invisible  head  of  the 
church,"  was  then  editor  of  the  church  organ.  In  an 
editorial  about  the  Kinderhook  "find"  he  says:  "Circum- 
stances are  daily  transpiring  which  give  additional  testi- 
mony to  the  authenticity  of  the  Book  of  Mormon.  .  .  The 
man  who  owns  the  plates  has  taken  them  away  for  a  time,  but 
has  promised  to  return  with  them."  So  says  Taylor,  and  he 
feels  that  this  "find"  will  "  go  a  good  way  to  prove  the  au- 
thenticity of  the  Book  of  Mormon;"  expressing  finally 
his  firm  belief  that  "  the  seer,  the  seer,  Joseph,  the 
seer,"  *  will  prove  himself  equal  to  the  task  of  solving 
this  new  mystery.  "  We  have  no  doubt,"  says  he,  "  but 
Mr.  Smith  will  be  able  to  translate  them."  And  Taylor, 
as  the  sequel  shows,  was  fully  justified  in  his  confidence;  a 
confidence  expressed  a  second  time  in  the  Times  and  Sea- 
sons in  the  following  lively  manner : 

"  Why  does  the  circumstance  of  the  plates  recently  found  in  a  mound 
in  Pike  County,  Illinois,  by  Mr  Wiley,  together  with  etymology  and 
a  thousand  other  things,  GO  TO  PROVE  THE  BOOK  OF  MORMON  TRUE? 
Answer:  '  Because  it  is  true.'  " — \Times  and  Seasons,  p.  406,  Dec.  I, 
1843. 

But  let  us  look  at  the  trap  with  the  translator's  leg  in 
it.  Here  it  is,  in  the  shape  of  a  letter  from  Mr.  Wilbur 
Fugate  to  Mr.  James  T.  Cobb,  in  Salt  Lake  City  : 

MOUND  STATION,  ILL,  JUNE  30,  1879. 
Mr.  Cobb:— 

I  received  your  letter  in  regard  to  those  t>lates,  and  will  say  in 
answer  that  they  are  a  HUMBUG,  gotten  up  by  Robert  Wiley,  Bridge 
Whitton  and  myself.  Whitton  is  dead.  I  do  not  know  whether 
Wiley  is  or  not.  None  of  the  nine  persons  who  signed  the  certificate 
knew  the  secret,  except  Wiley  and  I.  We  read  in  Pratt's  prophecy 
that  "  Truth  is  yet  to  spring  up  out  of  the  earth."  We  concluded  to 
prove  the  prophecy  by  way  of  a  jok<:.  We  soon  made  our  plans  and 
executed  them.  Bridge  Whitton  cut  them  (the  plates)  out  of  some 
pieces  of  copper ;  W7iley  and  I  made  the  hieroglyphics  j  by  making 
impressions  on  beesv.ax  and  filling  them  with  acid  and  putting  it  on 
the  plates.  When  they  were  finished  we  put  them  together  with  rust 

*  The  title  of  a  popular  Mormon  hymn  composed  by  John  Tay- 
lor. 

j-  Wiley's  name  stands  first  and  Fugate's  last  of  the  nine  signers 
of  the  "  certificate"  touching  the  excavation. 


208  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

made  of  nitric  acid,  old  iron  and  lead,  and  bound  them  with  a  piece 
of  hoop  iron,  covering  them  completely  with  the  rust.  Our  plans 
worked  admirably.  A  certain  Sunday  was  appointed  for  digging. 
The  night  before,  Wiley  went  to  the  Mound  where  he  had  previously 
dug  to  the  depth  of  about  eight  feet,  there  being  a  flat  rock  that 
sounded  hollow  beneath,  and  put  them  under  it.  On  the  following 
morning  quite  a  number  of  citizens  were  there  to  assist  in  the  search, 
there  being  two  Mormon  elders  present  (Marsh  and  Sharp).  The 
rock  was  soon  removed,  but  some  time  elapsed  before  the  plates  were 
discovered.  I  finally  picked  them  up  and  exclaimed,  "  A  piece  of 
pot  metal !  "  Fayette  Grubb  snatched  them  from  me  and  struck  them 
against  the  rock  and  they  fell  to  pieces.  Dr.  Harris  examined  them 
and  said  they  had  hieroglyphics  on  them.  He  took  acid  and  removed 
the  rust,  and  they  were  soon  out  on  exhibition.  Under  this  rock  was 
dome-like  in  appearance,  about  three  feet  in  diameter.  There  were  a 
few  bones  in  the  last  stage  of  decomposition,  also  a  few  pieces  of  pot- 
tery and  charcoal.  There  was  NO  SKELETON  found.  Sharp,  the 
Mormon  elder,  leaped  and  shouted  for  joy  and  said,  Satan  had  ap- 
peared to  him  and  told  him  not  to  go  (to  the  diggings),  it  was  a  hoax 
of  Fugate  and  Wiley's, — but  at  a  later  hour  the  Lord  appeared  and 
told  him  to  go,  the  treasure  was  there. 

The  Mormons  wanted  to  take  the  plates  to  Joe  Smith,  but  we 
refused  to  let  them  go.  Some  time  afterward  a  man  assuming  the 
name  of  Savage,  of  Quincy,  borrowed  the  plates  of  Wiley  to  show  to 
his  literary  friends  there,  and  took  them  to  Joe  Smith.  The  same 
identical  plates  were  returned  to  Wiley,  who  gave  them  to  Professor 
McDowell,  of  St.  Louis,  for  his  Museum. 

W.  FUGATE. 

STATE  OF  ILLINOIS,  ) 
BROWN  COUNTY.     f  ss 

W.  Fugate,  being  first  duly  sworn,  deposes  and  says  that  the  above 
letter,  containing  an  account  of  the  plates  found  near  Kinderhook,  is 
true  and  correct,  to  the  best  of  his  recollection. 

W.  FUGATE. 

Subscribed  and  sworn  to  before  me  this  3Oth  day  of  June,  1879. 

JAY  BROWN,  J.  P. 


Since  1843  the  Kinderhook  plates  have  been  relied 
upon  by  the  Mormon  leaders  as  a  strong  argument  in  favor 
of  Joe's  plates,  from  which  he  translated  his  new  (f  bible," 
and,  in  fact,  they  are  coin  from  the  same  mint  almost, 
id  est,  silly  fabrications.  You  don't  find  deep  mysteries 
on  any  of  them,  like  the  dark  formula,  21 -\- 4=,  but 
their  characters  seem  inspired  by  a  mind  very  much  oc- 


Dollar  Sign  Hieroglyphics,  209 

cupied  with  worldly  affairs.  At  least,  I  find  the  vulgar 
DOLLAR  SIGN  more  than  two  scores  of  times  in  these 
"hieroglyphics,"  now  very  clear,  and  then  as  the  origi- 
nal idea  of  a  sign.  In  this  way  I  can  trace  it  about  ten 
times  alone  in  this  single  plate  of  the  "engravings,"  two  or 


three  of  them  very  clearly.  Notwithstanding  the  obvious 
clumsiness  of  the  fraud  (Mr.  Fugate  calls  it  a  joke)  a 
number  of  writers  on  Mormon  history,  among  them  the 
best,  including  John  Hyde  and  Captain  Burton,  have  re- 
produced a  fac  simile  of  the  plates,  and  spoken  seriously 
of  them,  leaving  the  reader  to  guess  what  they  might 
mean,  and  apparently  puzzled  by  them  themselves. 

I  am  able  to  solve  the  mystery.  They  are  hieroglyph^ 
ics,  and  Mr.  Smith  could  translate  them.  The  British 
church  organ,  called  the  Millennial  Star,  printed  in  Liver- 
pool, "gives  us  the  key,"  as  old  Lucy  would  say.  In 


210  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Vol.  XXL,  number  of  January  15,  18^9,  is  an  extract 
from  "  Mr.  Smith's"  diary,  dated  Monday,  May  i,  1843, 
a  week  or  so  after  the  discovery  of  the  plates  was  made. 
Mr.  Smith  says:  "I  insert  fac  similes  of  the  six  brass 
plates  found  near  Kinderhook,  in  Pike  County,  111.,  on 
April  23,  1843,  by  Mr.  R.  Wiley  and  others;  while  ej:- 
cavating  a  large  mound,  they  found  a  skeleton  about  six 
feet  from  the  surface  of  the  earth,  which  must  have  stood 
nine  feet  high.  The  plates  were  found  on  the  breast  of  the 
skeleton  and  were  covered  on  both  sides  with  ancient 
characters. 

"I  HAVE  TRANSLATED  A  PORTION  OF  THEM  AND  FIND 
THEY  CONTAIN  THE  HISTORY  OF  THE  PERSON  WITH  WHOM 
THEY  WERE  FOUND,  HE  WAS  A  DESCENDANT  OF  HAM, 
THROUGH  THE  LOINS  OF  PHARAOH,  KING  OF  EGYPT,  AND 
THAT  HE  RECEIVED  HIS  KINGDOM  FROM  THE  RULER  OF 

HEAVEN  AND  EARTH,"  (On  pages  41,  43,  Millennial 
Star,  Vol.  XXL,  is  a  fac  simile  of  these  plates.) 

There  you  have  him  in  his  full  glory,  the  son  of  old 
Lucy-Munchhausen.  He  was  not  present  at  the  excavat- 
ing of  the  plates,  but  he  finds  a  great  many  more  things 
than  the  buriers  and  excavators  found  themselves.  The 
discoverer  and  translator  of  the  "  Book  of  Abraham " 
finds  in  that  Illinois  mound  the  skeleton  of  an  antique 
monarch.  The  peeper  knows  even  the  size  of  the  fellow  : 
he  was  nine  feet,  the  odd  inches  are  not  given.  And  then, 
you  see,  the  plates  were  found  on  the  breast of  the  skeleton— 
another  touching  and  picturesque  detail.  And  then  comes 
the  crowning  and  glorious  translation  !  That  ruler  came  of 
illustrious  ancestors,  but  rather  in  a  roundabout  and  laby- 
rinthic  sort  of  way.  He  descended  (think  of  it  and  faint) 
from  Ham,  through  the  loins  of  Pharaoh,  king  of  Egypt. 
Which  Pharaoh  ?  No  doubt  the  father  of  that  royal  wench 
whose  bones  were  diskivercd  by  old  Lucy-Munchhausen.* 
And  then,  who  cares?  Don't  you  see  that  this  Dime  Muse- 
um giant  received  his  kingdom  from  our  excellent  friend, 
Joe's  "  pard  ?  "  And  a  tremendous  kingdom  it  must  have 

*  See  next  chapter. 


Pratt  Tells  the  Truth,  But  Secretly.  211 

been,  the  kingdom  of  a  chap  nine  feet  high  and  perhaps 
two  or  three  odd  inches  ! 

Don't  you  see  it  now  in  the  trap,  the  peeper' s  leg?  And 
still,  gentle  reader,  you  say :  But  surely  the  Mormon 
leaders  do  not  know  about  such  villainous  frauds,  'twould 
make  accomplices  of  all  of  them,  and  show  that  they  are 
ftl  deceivers,  liars  and  hypocrites  !  Now  just  hear  what 
was  told  me  by  a  Mormon  elder,  an  eye  and  ear  witness : 
"A  'class  of  elders,'  eleven  or  twelve,  of  whom  I  was 
one,  was  assembled  in  the  Endowment  House  in  1858. 
Apostle  Orson  Pratt  told  us  that  he  had  been  reading  a 
work  in  which  an  account  was  given  of  the  Kinderhook 
Plates.  An  archeological  society  had  heard  of  the  plates 
and  they  wanted  to  get  a  reliable  account  of  them.  They 
sent  down  to  Kinderhook,  111.,  two  men  to  investigate  the 
matter.  These  men  had  been  there  for  two  or  three  weeks 
without  result.  At  last  they  learnt  the  names  of  the  par- 
ties concerned,  and  that  the  plates  were  made  by  a  black- 
smith; they  were  told  so  by  the  artist  himself.  Pratt  told 
the  '  class  '  that  he  was  well  convinced  that  the  plates  were 
a  fraud." 

But  let  us  return  to  the  "  Seer."  The  plates  were  taken 
to  him  and  he  made  a  rough  estimate  that  their  translation 
into  English  would  make  a  volume  of  some  ten  or  twelve 
hundred  pages !  *  Joseph,  however,  smartly  refused  to 
translate  them  until  they  were  presented  to  some  of  the 
learned  societies  for  translation.  They  were  sent  to  one 
and  returned  with  the  word,  that  they  could  not  be  trans- 
lated. And  then  Joseph  went  to  work,  aided  by  the 
"  grace  of  God  !  " 

Brigham  Young  and  the  other  heads  of  the  church 
knew  the  silly  fraud  of  the  "  Book  of  Abraham"  since 
the  real  translation  of  the  papyrus  by  the  French  savant. 
They  all  know  that  the  "  Spaulding  myth  "  is  no  myth, 
but  the  naked  and  damning  truth.  And  still  there  is 
scarcely  a  book  put  forth  on  Mormonism  that  does  not 

*  This  detail  is  contained  in  another  letter  of  Mr.  Fugate  to  James 
T.  Cobb ;  also  the  circumstance  that  Bridge  Whitton,  who  cut  out  the 
plates,  was  a  blacksmith. 


212  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

ventilate  gravely  the  question,  whether  Joseph,  Brigham, 
Cannon,  Taylor  &  Co.,  were  sincere,  or  are  so  at  this  mo- 
ment in  their  "faith  !  " 


FIRST  MORMON  TEMPLE,  KIRTLAND,  OHIO. 


Big  Doings  in  Kirtland.  213 

THE   BOOK   OF   ABRAHAM. 


Michael  H.  Chandler,  the  Village  Barnum  —  Testimonial 
Given  by  "a  Gentleman"  —  The  Writings  of  Abraham 
and  Joseph  Discovered — Egyptian  Grammar  by  Joe  — 
Astronomer  Joe  —  W.  W.  Phelps — Lucy  Discovering 
and  Lecturing  —  A  Learned  Polygamist —  The  Lord 
Chatting  with  Old  Abraham — Choice  Extracts  from 
Abraham's  Book  —  Prophet  Joe's  Translation  Com- 
pared with  that  of  a  Wicked  Gentile  —  The  Prince  of 
Pharaoh  —  Let  us  Laugh. 


It  was  in  July,  1835,  in  Kirtland.  The  kingdom  was 
flourishing.  The  temple  was  going  up  rapidly.  The 
first  "quorum  "  of  the  twelve  apostles  had  been  ordained; 
classes  of  instruction  and  school  of  prophets  commenced. 
Joseph  had  just  begun  to  "wrestle"  with  English 
grammar — no  wonder  that  he  felt  like  reforming  the 
world  on  the  scientific  and  educational  side,  after  having 
given  it  a  new  start  as  to  religion  and  morals.  The  Lord 
was  with  him  in  everything  ;  and  for  the  last  four  years  He 
had  been  giving  him  "special  instructions"  as  to  the 
principle  of  celestial  marriage,  called  "adultery"  by  the 
wicked  Gentiles,  with  that  indecent  vulgarity  characteristic 
of  those  who  have  no  faith  in  bleeding  Spaniards. 

It  was  on  July  3,  1835,  just  at  the  time  when  the  first 
idea  of  those  glorious  SAND-BOXES  might  have  struck  the 
imagination  of  our  young  prophet,  when  an  event 
occurred,  not  observed  by  the  wicked  and  indifferent, 
but  notwithstanding  of  immense  importance  for  the 
salvation  of  mankind  and  the  enrichment  of  science.  The 
chosen  messenger  who  brought  these  "glad  tidings"  to 
Kirtland  was,  as  usual  with  Joe's  Lord,  a  man  whom  the 
initiated  would  have  taken  for  anything  else  than  an 
instrument  in  the  hands  of  the  Almighty.  It  was  no 


214  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

peeper  this  time,  however,  but  a  sort  of  village  Barnum, 
a  "gentleman"  who  made  a  living  by  showing  four 
Egyptian  mummies  to  an  enlightened  public,  probably  at 
the  modest  rate  of  25  cents  for  admission.  Mummies  — 
papyrus  —  Egyptian  —  reformed  Egyptian  —  Joseph  felt 
the  seer's  blood  stir  in  his  veins.  Let  himself  relate  the 
occurrence  :  * 

On  the  36  of  July,  Michael  H.  Chandler  came  to  Kirtland  to 
exhibit  some  Egyptian  mummies.  There  were  four  human  figures, 
together  with  some  two  or  more  rolls  of  papyrus  covered  with  hiero- 
glyphic figures  and  devices.  As  Mr.  Chandler  had  been  told  I  could 
translate  them,  he  brought  me  some  of  the  characters,  and  I  gave  him 
the  interpretation,  and,  LIKE  A  GENTLEMAN,  he  gave  me  the  following 
certificate  : 

KIRTLAND,  July  6,  1835. 

This  is  to  make  known  to  all  who  may  be  desirous  concerning 
the  knowledge  of  Mr.  Joseph  Smith,  Jun.,  in  deciphering  the  ancient 
Egyptian  hieroglyphic  characters  in  my  possession,  which  I  have,  in 
many  eminent  cities,  showed  to  the  most  learned ;  and,  from  the 
information  that  I  could  ever  learn,  or  meet  with,  I  find  that  of  Mr. 
Joseph  Smith,  Jun.,  to  correspond  in  the  most  minute  matters. 

MICHAEL  H.  CHANDLER, 
Traveling  with,  and  proprietor  of,  Egyptian  mummies. 

It  maybe  that  "traveling  with  and  proprietor  of" 
Mr.  Chandler  may  have  acted  like  a  "gentleman"  in 
many  respects,  for  instance,  in  attesting  the  correctness 
of  an  interpretation  of  hieroglyphics  of  which  he  knew  as 
much  as  Charlie,  the  family  horse,  or  as  Joe  himself;  but 
the  syntax,  etc.,  surely  show  rather  the  "colored 
gemman  "  than  anything  else.  "Like  a  gentleman!" 
This  is  absolutely  impayable.  It  shows  as  clear  as  sun- 
light that  Joe  knew  that  the  certificate  was  straight  lie, 
but  lying  for  Joe,  without  hesitation,  cavalierement,  is 
acting  like  a  gemman. 

Joe  takes  a  deep  interest  in  the  mummies,  and  the 
saints  —  accustomed  to  provide  for  him  whatsoever  he 
needeth  —  buy  them  for  him  from  the  "traveling  with  and 
proprietor  of"  gentleman.  Joe  tumbles  at  once  to*  a 
tremendous  discovery : 

*  Millennial  Star,  Vol.  XV.,  p.  285. 


Unreformed  Egyptian  Hieroglyphics.  215 

"  Some  of  the  saints  purchased  the  mummies  and  papyrus,  and  I, 
with  W.  W.  Phelps  and  O.  Cowdery  as  scribes,  commenced  the 
translation  of  some  of  the  characters  or  hieroglyphics,  and  much  to 
our  joy  found  that  one  of  the  rolls  contained  the  WRITINGS  OF 
ABRAHAM,  another  the  WRITINGS  OF  JOSEPH  OF  EGYPT,  etc.  —  a 
more  full  account  of  which  will  appear  in  their  place,  as  I  proceed  to 
examine  or  unfold  them.  Truly  can  we  say :  The  Lord  is  beginning 
to  reveal  the  abundance  of  peace  and  truth."  * 

It  seems,  however,  that  the  Urim  and  Thummim  did 
not  work  so  well  with  the  unreformed  hieroglyphics  as 
they  did  with  the  reformed  ones.  Says  Joe : 

"The  remainder  of  this  month  [July,  1835]  I  was  continually 
engaged  in  translating  an  alphabet  to  ihe  Book  of  Abraham,  and 
arranging  a  grammar  of  the  Egyptian  language  as  practiced  by  the 
ancients." 

"  Translating  alphabets,"  arranging  grammars  —  it  is 
all  as  easy  for  Joe  as  eating  a  chop.  Nothing  that  was 
"  practiced  by  the  ancients  "  is  unknown  to  the  peeper. 
He  has  the  keys  for  all  secrets.  He  is  even  an  expert 
astronomer.  Writes  he,  October  i,  1835,  in  his  diary: 

"  This  afternoon  I  labored  in  the  Egyptian  alphabet,  in  company 
with  Brothers  O.  Cowdery  and  W.  W.  Phelps,  and  during  the  research 
the  PRINCIPLES  OF  ASTRONOMY,  as  understood  by  FATHER  ABRAHAM 
and  the  ancients,  unfolded  to  our  understandings." 

Joe  had  studied  (but  not  unfolded)  the  "  LAW  OF 
SARAH,"  the  ingenuity  of  which  proves,  beyond  doubt, 
that  "  Father  Abraham"  would  be  now-a-days  a  member 
of  Congress  at  least.  After  having  devoutly  followed  this 
law  for  four  years  or  so,  as  opportunity  presented,  Joe  takes 
up  Abraham's  astronomy.  But  he  translates  the  great  dis- 
coveries of  Professor  Abraham  always  in  company  with 
W.  W.  Phelps,  you  see.  Mr.  Editor  Phelps  was  one  of 
the  cranky  dilettanti  under  the  banner  of  Mormonism. 
He  had  a  literary  smattering  which  turned  to  senseless 
mania  of  scientific  discoveries  under  the  influence  of  "rev- 
elation." Half  an  education  is  bad  enough,  but  com- 
bined with  fanaticism  and  pious  lying  it  is  one  of  the 
worst  curses  of  humanity.  Phelps  played  in  those  times  a 
very  important  part  in  the  fixing  up  and  bringing  forth  of 

* Millennial  Star,  Vol.  XV.,  pp.  296-7. 


2i 6  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

Joe's  revelations.  He  blabbed  sometimes  about  it  in  the 
Utah  Tabernacle,  to  Brigham's  rage  and  despair.  The 
old  "  Devil"  was  too  proud  of  having  been  Joseph's  rev- 
elational  sage  femme  in  olden  times,  and  he  would  talk, 
notwithstanding  Brigham's  efforts  to  restrain  him  by  jerk- 
ing the  Devil's  coat  tail.  On  one  occasion,  as  known  to 
all  old  Mormons,  Phelps  made  a  bow  to  Brigham,  but  not 
with  his  face  turned  toward  Joe's  successor,  and  said  : 
"And  Moses  saw  the  Lord's  hind  part."  I  guess  the 
Devil  was  right.  All  Mormon  founders  and  leaders  have 
ever  seen  of  the  Lord  was  nothing  but  the  unspeakable 
part  of  a  caricature  of  Old  Scratch. 

But  let  us  return  to  our  Egyptian  scholar  and  Abra- 
hamic  astronomer.  He  felt  great  as  seer  and  translator, 
but  his  joy  was  nothing  compared  with  the  rejoicings  of 
that  chaste  guardian  of  truth,  keys  and  three-cornered 
diamonds,  Mrs.  Lucy  Smith-Munchausen.  That  dear 
creature  was  in  raptures  over  the  greart  di&kiveries  made  by 
her  darling  Joe.  She  shows  them  to  strangers  and  even 
lectures  on  them ;  admission  fee  very  modest,  to  make 
science  accessible  to  the  most  humble.  *  The  excellent 
old  lady  had  even  made  some  learned  investigations  on 
her  own  hook,  and  the  result  was — what  else  could  it  be  ? 
— that  one  of  the  mummies  was  PHARAOH'S  DAUGHTER, 
the  same  that  had  saved  young  Moses  !  The  poor  girl's 
mortal  tenement,  after  having  slept  for  four  thousand 
years  or  so,  had  to  perish  in  a  Chicago  dime  museum,  to 
the  unspeakable  sorrow  of  an  admiring  crowd  of  cow- 
boys ! 

Don't  weep,  tender-hearted  reader.  The  "  Book  ot 
Abraham  "  is  safe,  all  the  same.  Joe  has  translated  it,  and 
the  private  memoirs  of  Professor  Abraham  are  a  glorious 
heritage  to  civilization  forever,  together  with  a  whole  sys- 

*"  For  a  time,"  says  Joseph,  her  grandson,  "  she  derived  a  little 
income  from  the  exhibition  of  some  mummies  and  the  papyrus  records 
found  with  them,  which  had  been  left  in  her  care  by  the  church  for 
this  purpose.  But  after  a  time  she  parted  with  the  mummies  and 
records,  how,  the  writer  is  not  informed,  though  he  afterwards  saw 
two  of  the  mummies  and  a  part  of  the  records  in  Wood's  Museum  in 
Chicago,  where  they  were  destroyed  by  the  fire  in  1871." 


Where  Are  the   Writings  of  Joseph?  217 

tern  of  Astronomy  that  puts  Herschel,  Copernicus,  Kep- 
ler, Tycho  and  other  ignorant  Gentile  savants,  to  use  the 
picturesque  expression  of  Danite  Dr.  Avard,  "where  the 
dogs  cannot  bite  them."  What  is  science  compared  to 
"  revelation,"  after  all?  Is  it  not  groping  in  the  dark,  is  it 
not  the  mere  groveling  of  swine  amid  husks,  while  the 
chosen  ones — Joe,  Lucy,  Lee  and  other  policemen — are 
wallowing  in  heaps  of  pearls  ? 

I  need  not  tell  the  reader,  who  has  felt  the  full  force 
of  Mormon  revelation  so  often  in  these  pages,  that  the 
"Book  of  Abraham"  is  not  only  a  fraud,  but  an  un- 
speakably clumsy  and  silly  one,  too.  It  may  be  worth 
your  while,  all  the  same,  to  taste  a  little  of  the  "  beauty, 
grandeur  and  value  of  the  truths  made  manifest  by  the 
Most  High  to  his  friend  and  servant  Abraham."  *  The 
translation  of  Abraham's  manuscript  occupies  ten  pages 
in  the  Pearl  of  Great  Price,  a  church  publication,  which 
contains  among  other  pearls,  "Visions"  and  "Writings 
of  Moses,"  a  "  Key  to  the  revelations  of  St.  John,"  that 
Mormon  Sevastopol  "  the  Law  of  Sarah,"  etc.,  all  re- 
vealed to  Joseph  the  Seer.  I  miss  among  the  pearls 
the  "Writings  of  Joseph,"  which  were  likewise  said  to  be 
among  the  treasures  sold  to  Joe  by  the  "  traveling  with  and 
proprietor  of  gentleman. ' '  No  doubt  their  "deciphering"  did 
"correspond  in  the  most  minute  matters,"  too,  just  as  that 
of  Father  Abraham's  astronomical  note  book.  I  bet  they 
have  them  in  the  Historian's  office,  "  hid  up  "  somewhere, 
those  "  Writings  of  Joseph."  I  am  sure  they  would,  if 
translated  properly,  (id  est,  by  inspiration,)  rival  Historian 
Tullidge's  "stupendous  sweep  of  the  Prophet  Joseph's 
theology,"  and  "lay  bare  the  infinite  sweep  of  existence 
beyond  the  reach  of  the  most  poetic  conception."  Why 
not  try  your  inspired  hand  at  that  job,  brother  Tullidge, 
and  give  your  "  Messianic  wave  "  a  good  jerk  ? 

What  struck  me  first  in  Abraham's  book  was  the 
familiar,  "you're  another"  tone  assumed  in  it  by  Je- 

*Geo.  Reynolds,  the  Book  of  Abraham,  Salt  Lake  City,  1879. 
Elder  Reynolds  has  been  sent  to  the  Pen  for  having  fulfilled  the  "  law 
of  Sarah,"  but  not  yet  to  the  lunatic  asylum,  from  which  place  this 
eulogy  on  the  "  Book  of  Abraham"  should  have  been  dated. 


2i8  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

hovah.  The  book  shows  clearer  than  anything  that 
Abraham  and  the  Lord  were  on  splendid  terms,  just  like 
Joe  and  his  pard.  "  My  name's  Jehovah,"  says  the  Lord 
to  Abraham,  "and  I  know  the  end  from  the  beginning." 
This  sounds  grand,  but  Jehovah's  running  talk,  you  will  see, 
is  intensely  fatherly,  as  your  good  old  father-in-law  would 
talk  to  you  about  the  necessity  of  putting  a  new  roof  on 
the  chicken-house.  Says  Abraham : 

"  And  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  the  planet  which  is  the  lesser  light, 
lesser  than  that  which  is  to  rule  the  clay,  even  the  night,  is  above  or 
greater  than  that  upon  which  thou  standest,  in  point  of  reckoning,  for 
it  moveth  in  order  more  slow.  This  is  in  order,  because  it  standeth 
above  the  earth  upon  which  thou  standest ;  therefore  the  reckoning  of 
its  time  is  not  so  many  as  to  its  number  of  days,  and  of  months  and  of 
years.  And  the  Lord  said  unto  me:  Now,  ABRAHAM,  THESE  TWO 
FACTS  EXIST;,  behold,  thine  eyes  see  it  .  .  .  " 

I  don't  know  how  you  feel  while  reading  this  stuff, 
but  I  see  the  Lord  in  his  dressing-gown  and  pipe,  I  can't 
help  it.  But  let  him  go  on,  the  "powerful  visitor  from 
Canaan,"  who  "was  actually  the  instrument  used  of  God  to 
instruct  the  Egyptians  in  the  mysteries  of  the  starry 
worlds."  and  who,  by  the  way,  "superintended  the  erec- 
tion of  the  great  pyramid  :"' 

"  Thus  I,  Abraham,  talked  with  the  Lord,  face  to  face,  as  one  man 
talketh  with  another;  and  He  told  me  of  the  works  which  his  hand 
had  made;  and  he  said  unto  me,  MY  SON,  MY  SON,  (and  his  hand 
was  stretched  out),  behold,  I  will  show  you  all  these.  And  He  put  his 
hand  upon  mine  eyes  and  I  saw  those  things  which  His  hand  had 
made,  which  were  many;  and  He  said  unto  me,  This  is  Shinehah, 
which  is  the  Sun,  And  he  said  unto  me,  KOKOB,  which  is  Star.  And 
he  said  unto  me,  OLEA,  which  is  the  Moon.  And  he  said  unto  me, 
KOKAUBEAM,  which  signifies  stars,  or  all  the  great  lights  which  were 
in  the  firmament  of  heaven." 

This  is  the  way  the  Lord  talked  to  Abraham  on  great 
occasions,  when  he  wanted  to  give  away  whole  bucketfuls 
of  Astronomy.  For  ordinary  purposes  Abraham,  the 
lucky  patriarch,  had  the  Urim  and  Thummim,  just  li£e 
Joe.  Was  he  a  peeper,  too,  in  early  times,  before  be- 
coming so  great  a  patriarch  ? 

"And  I,  Abraham,  had  the  Urim  and  Thummim,  which  the  Lord 
my  God  had  given  unto  me,  in  Ur  of  the  Ghaldees ;  and  I  saw  the 


The  Lord  Praises  His  "Intelligence"  219 

Stars,  that  they  were  very  great,  and  that  one  of  them  was  nearest  unto 
the  throne  of  God ;  and  there  were  many  great  ones  which  were  near 
unto  it;  and  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  These  are  the  governing  ones; 
and  the  name  of  the  great  one  is  KOLOB,  because  it  is  near  unto  me, 
for  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God :  I  have  set  this  one  to  govern  all  those 
which  belong  to  the  same  order  of  that  upon  which  thou  standest, 
And  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  by  the  Urim  and  Thummim,  that  Kolob 
was  after  the  manner  of  the  Lord  .  .  .  " 

But  hear  the  Lord  again,  when  He  talks  to  Abraham 
"face  to  face,"  without  the  peep-stone: 

"  And  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  Abraham,  I  show  these  things  unto 
thee,  before  YE  go  into  Egypt,  that  ye  may  declare  all  these  words. 
IF  TWO  THINGS  EXIST,  and  there  be  one  above  the  other,  there  shall 
be  greater  things  above  them.  Therefore,  Kolob  is  THE  GREATEST 
OF  ALL  THE  KoKAUBEAM  that  thou  hast  seen,  because  it  is  nearest 
unto  me.*  Now,  if  there  be  two  things,  one  above  the  other,  and 
THE  MOON  BE  ABOVE  THE  EARTH,  that  it  may  be  that  a  planet  or  a 
star  may  exist  above  it ;  and  <there  is  nothing  that  the  Lord  thy  God 
shall  take  in  his  heart  to  do  but  that  he  will  do  it.  Howbeit  that  he 
made  the  greater  star,  as,  also,  if  there  be  two  spirits,  and  ONE  SHALL 
BE  MORE  INTELLIGENT  THAN  THE  OTHER,  yet  these  two  spirits,  not- 
withstanding one  is  more  intelligent  than  the  other,  have  no 
beginning;  they  existed  before,  they  shall  have  no  end,  they  shall 
exist  after,  for  they  are  GNOLAUM,  or  eternal." 

Does  not  the  Lord  talk  like  a  village  schoolmaster, 
who  gets  crazy  over  some  old  books  and  a  country 
weekly?  But  let  us  peer  deeper  into  this  abyss  of  stu- 
pidity : 

"  And  the  Lord  said  unto  me,  THESE  TWO  FACTS  DO  EXIST,  that 
there  are  two  spirits,  one  being  more  intelligent  than  the  other ;  there 
shall  be  another  more  intelligent  than  they;  I  am  the  Lord  thy  God, 

I    AM    MORE     INTELLIGENT     THAN     THEY     ALL.       The     Lord    thy    God 

sent  his  angel  to  deliver  thee  from  the  hands  of  the  priest  Elkenah. 
I  dwell  in  the  midst  of  them  all ;  I  now,  therefore,  have  come  down 
unto  thee  to  deliver  unto  thee  the  works  which  my  hands  have  made, 
wherein  MY  WISDOM  EXCELLETH  THEM  ALL,  for  I  rule  in  the  heavens 
above,  and  in  the  earth  beneath,  in  all  wisdom  and  prudence,  OVER 
ALL  THE  INTELLIGENCES  thine  eyes  have  seen  from  the  beginning ; 
I  came  down  in  the  beginning  in  the  midst  of  ALL  THE  INTELLI- 
GENCIES  thou  hast  seen." 

This  is  religion,  this  is  science,  this  is  Utah's  education 
of  the  rising  generation  in  the  nineteenth  century  !  Is  it 

*As  well  as  being  "  after  the  manner  of  the  Lord." 


22O  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 

not  the  eternal  Mountain  Meadows  Massacre  of  the  hopes 
and  aspirations  of  this  great  region  of  country?  I  ask 
you,  men  and  brethren,  Mormon  sisters  and  school- 
ma'ams,  shall  such  a  state  of  things  be  gnolaum,  or 
eternal  ? 

Abraham,  after  having  given  his  interesting  theories 
about  the  Kokaubcam,  lectures  on  the  creation  : 

"  Now,  the  Lord  had  shewn  unto  me,  Abraham,  the  INTELLI- 
GENCES that  were  ORGANIZED  before  the  world  was ;  and  among  all 
these  there  were  many  of  the  noble  and  great  ones ;  and  God  saw 
these  souls  that  they  were  good,  and  he  stood  in  the  midst  of  them, 
and  he  said,  These  I  will  make  my  rulers ;  for  he  stood  among  those 
that  were  spirits,  and  he  saw  that  they  were  good ;  and  he  said  unto 
me,  Abraham,  thou  art  one  of  them,  thou  wast  chosen  before  thou 
wast  born.  And  there  stood  one  among  them  that  was  like  unto  God, 
and  he  said  unto  those  who  were  with  him,  We  will  GO  DOWN,  for 
there  is  space  there,  and  we  will  take  of  these  MATERIALS,  and  we 
will  make  an  earth  whereon  these  may  dwell;  and  we  will  prove 
them  herewith,  to  see  if  they  will  do  all  things  whatsoever  the  Lord 
their  God  shall  command  them ;  and  they  who  keep  their  first  estate 
shall  be  added  upon ;  and  they  who  keep  not  their  first  estate  shall 
not  have  glory  in  the  same  KINGDOM  with  those  who  keep  their  first 
estate ;  and  they  who  keep  their  second  estate  shall  have  glory  added 
upon  their  heads  for  ever  and  ever. 

"  And  the  Lord  said,  Who  shall  I  send  ?  And  one  answered  like 
unto  the  Son  of  Man,  Here  am  I,  send  me.  And  another  answered 
and  said,  Here  am  I,  send  me.  And  the  Lord  said,  I  will  send  the 
first.  And  the  second  was  angry,  and  kept  not  his  first  estate,  and,  at 
that  day,  many  followed  after  him.  And  then  the  Lord  said,  Let  us 
go  down ;  and  they  went  down  at  the  beginning,  and  they  ORGANIZED 
and  formed  (that  is,  THE  GODS)  the  heavens  and  the  earth.  And  the 
earth,  after  it  was  formed,  was  empty  and  desolate,  because  they  had 
not  formed  anything  but  the  earth ;  and  darkness  reigned  upon  the 
face  of  the  deep,  and  the  Spirit  of  the  Gods  was  brooding  upon  the 
faces  of  the  water." 

In  this  twaddle  we  have  not  only  the  nucleus  of  Mor- 
mon theology  as  to  the  "  making  of  gods,  worlds  and 
devils,"  but  also  a  good  deal  of  the  recitations  at  the 
disgusting,  though  dangerous  and  treasonable,  mummery 
called  Endowments,  of  which  more  in  Vol.  II.  of  this 
work. 

Let  us  close  the  quotations  with  another  bit  of  "in- 
spired and  corrected  "  Genesis  : 

"  And  they  (THE  GODS)  said,  Let  there  be  light,   and  there  was 


The  Gods  Act  and  Organize  Like  W.  W.  Phelps.    221 

light,  and  they  (THE  GODS)  comprehended  the  light,  for  it  was 
bright ;  and  they  divided  the  light,  or  caused  it  to  be  divided  from 
the  darkness;  and  THE  GODS  called  the  light  day,  and  the  darkness 
they  called  night.  And  THE  GODS  also  said,  Let  there  be  an  expanse 
in  the  midst  of  the  waters,  and  it  shall  divide  the  waters  from  the . 
waters.  And  THE  GODS  ordered  the  expanse,  so  that  it  divided  the 
waters  which  were  under  the  expanse  from  the  waters  which  were  above 
the  expanse;  and  it  was  so,  even  as  they  ordered.  And  THE  GODS 
called  the  expanse  Heaven.  And  THE  GODS  ordered,  saying.  Let  the 
waters  under  the  heaven  be  gathered  together  unto  one  place,  and  let 
the  earth  come  up  dry ;  and  it  was  so,  as  they  ordered ;  and  THE  GODS 
pronounced  the  earth  dry,  and  the  gathering  together  of  the  waters, 
pronounced  they,  great  waters ;  and  THE  GODS  saw  that  they  were 
obeyed.  And  THE  GODS  said,  Let  us  prepare  the  earth  to  bring  forth 
grass ;  the  herb  yielding  seed ;  the  fruit  tree  yielding  fruit,  after  his 
kind,  whose  seed  in  itself  yieldeth  its  own  likeness  upon  the  earth; 
and  it  was  so,  even  as  they  ordered.  And  THE  GODS  ORGANIZFD 
the  earth  to  bring  forth  grass  from  its  own  seed,  and  the  herb  to  bring 
forth  herb  from  its  own  seed,  yielding  seed  after  his  kind.  And  THE 
GODS  ORGANIZED  the  lights  in  the  expanse  of  the  heaven,  and  caused 
them  to  divide  the  day  from  the  night;  and  ORGANIZED  them  to  be  for 
signs  and  for  seasons,  and  for  days  and  for  years  ;  and  ORGANIZED 
them  to  be  for  lights  in  the  expanse  of  the  heaven  to  give  light  upon 
the  earth ;  and  it  was  so.  And  THE  GODS  ORGANIZED  the  two  great 
lights,  the  greater  light  to  rule  the  day,  and  the  lesser  light  to  rule 
the  night ;  with  the  lesser  light  they  set  the  stars  also.  And  THE  GODS 
watched  those  things  which  they  had  ordered  until  they  obeyed." 

Now,  let  us  compare,  just  for  fun  and  for  the  sake  of 
another  clincher,  the  interpretation  of  the  pictures  on  Mr. 
Chandler's  papyrus  made  by  Joseph,  tlm  Seer,  with  one 
made  by  a  competent  French  savant,  Mr.  T.  Deveria : 

THE  RESURRECTION  OF  OSIRIS. 

JOSEPH  THE   SEER.  MR.  DEVERIA. 

FIG.  i.  The  Angel  of  the  Lord.         FIG.  I.  The  soul  of  Osiris  under 

the  form  of  a  hawk. 

2.  Abraham  fastened  upon  an         2.  Osiris  coming  to  life   on  his 
altar.  funeral    couch,    which   is   in   the 

shape  of  a  lion. 

3.  The  idolatrous  priest  of  Elke-         3.  The  god  Anubis  effecting  the 
nah  attempting  to  offer  up  Abra-     resurrection  of  Osiris. 

ham  as  a  sacrifice. 

4.  The  altar  for  sacrifice  by  the  4.  The    funeral-bed    of  Osiris, 
idolatrous  priest  standing    before  under  which  are  placed  the  four 
the    gods    of    Elkenah,    Libnah,  sepulchral  vessels  called  canapes, 
Mahmackrah,  Korash  and  Phara-  each  of  them  surmounted  by  the 
oh.  head  of  the  four  genii. 


222  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 


'////////////////// ///r/i  I  If  /  ////    77/ 


5.  The  idolatrous  god  of  Elke- 
nah. 

6.  The  idolatrous  god  of  Lib- 
nah. 

7.  The  idolatrous  god  of  Mah- 
mackrah. 

8.  The  idolatrous  god  of  Kor- 
ash. 

9.  The  idolatrous  god  of  Phara- 
oh. 

10.  Abraham  in  Egypt. 

11.  Design  to  represent  the  pil- 
lars of  heaven  as   understood  by 
the  Egyptians. 


5.  Kebh-son-iw,  with  a  hawk's 
head. 

6.  Tiomautew,  with  a  jackal's 
head. 

7.  Hapi,  with  a  dog's  head. 

8.  Amset,  with  a  human  head. 

9.  The  sacred   crocodile,   sym- 
bolic of  the  God  Sebet. 

10.  Altar  laden  with  offerings. 

11.  An    ornament   peculiar    to 
Egyptian  art. 


Politeness  of  the  Prince  of  Pharaoh. 


223 


12.  Customary  representation  of 
ground  in  Egyptian  paintings. 
(The  word  Shauman  is  not  Egyp- 
tian.) 


12.  Raukeegang,  signifying  ex- 
panse,  or  the  firmament  over  our 
heads;  but  in  this  case,  in  relation 
to  this  subject,  the  Egyptians  meant 
it  to  signify  Shauman  ,  to  be  high, 
or  the  heavens,  answering  to  the 
Hebrew  Shaumdhyeem. 

Now  to  another  picture  described  by  the  French  savant 
as  "initial  painting  of  a  funerary  Manuscript  of  the  Low- 
er Epoch,  which  cannot  be  anterior  to  the  beginning  of 
the  Roman  dominion  :  '  ' 


FUNERARY   MANUSCRIPT. 


JOSEPH  THE  SEER. 

FIG.  i.  Abraham  sitting  upon 
Pharaoh's  throne,  BY  THE  POLITE- 
NESS OF  THE  KING,  with  a  crown 
upon  his  head,  representing  the 
Priesthood,  as  emblematical  of  THE 
GRAND  PRESIDENCY  IN  HEAVEN  ; 
with  the  sceptre  of  justice  and 
judgment  in  his  hand. 

2.  King  Pharaoh,  whose   name 
is  given   in  the   characters  above 
his  head. 

3.  Signifies  Abraham  in  Egypt; 
referring  to  Abraham  as  given  in 
the  first  fac-simile. 

4.  PRINCE  OF  PHARAOH,  King 
of  Egypt,   as   written   above   the 
hand. 

5.  Shulem,    one   of  the   king's 
principal   waiters,  as   represented 
by  the  characters  above  his  hand. 


6.  Olimlah,  a  slave  belonging 
to  the  prince. 

Abraham  is  reasoning  upon  the 
principles  of  Astronomy,  in  the 
king's  court. 


MR.   DEVERIA. 
FIG.  I.  Osiris  on  his  seat. 


2.  The  goddess  Isis.      The  star 
she  carries  in  her  right  hand  is  the 
sign  of  life. 

3.  Altar  with  the  offering  of  the 
deceased,   surrounded    with    lotus 
flowers,  signifying  the  offering  of 
the  defunct. 

4.  The  goddess  Ma. 


5.  The  deceased  led  by  Ma  into 
the  presence  of  Osiris.     His  name 
is  Horus,  as  may  be  seen  in   the 
prayer  which  is  at  the  bottom  of 
the   picture,    and    which    is    ad- 
dressed to  the  divinities  of  the  four 
cardinal  points. 

6.  An  unknown  divinity,  prob- 
ably Anubis;  but  his  head,  which 
ought  to  be  that  of  a  jackal,  has 
been  changed. 


224  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Joseph  Smith. 


ABRAHAM  AND  PHARAOH. 


Lucy  as  Egyptian  Lecturer'. 


225 


Abraham  sittetfrupon  Pharaoh's  throne  by  the  polite- 
ness of  the  king!  The  king  acts  "like  a  gentleman," 
you  see.  The  politeness  of  the  king !  Well,  this  is  Lucy 


LUCY  SMITH. 

all  over,  and  I  hear  her  say  it  in  her  lectures,  with  such  a 
winning  smile  and  such  a  courtesy  exactly  imitating  the 
politeness  of  Pharaoh  !  And  there  is  a  grand  presidency 
in  heaven,  of  which  the  one  on  earth,  consisting  of  Peeper 
Joe,  Hyrum,  and  Sidney  Rigdon,  is  a  most  perfect  copy  ! 
And  there  is,  in  Egypt,  a  Prince  of  Pharaoh,  a  sort  of 
Prince  of  Wales,  but  being  king  all  the  same,  and  wear- 
ing, probably  in  Abraham's  honor,  female  apparel !  And 
Abraham  is  reasoning  upon  the  principles  of  Astronomy ! 
Are  you  sure,  Joe,  that  he  doesn't  extol  to  the  Prince  of 
Pharaoh  the  beauties  of  the  LAW  OF  SARAH  ? 

Says  Mr.  Tullidge,  ordained,  set  apart,  and,  let  us  hope, 
anointed  as  official  Historian  by  the  Salt  Lake  City 
Fathers  :  "  The  Book  of  Abraham  is  as  closely  identified 
with  Joseph,  AS  ITS  INSPIRED  TRANSLATOR,  as  is  the  Book 
of  Mormon."  Yes;  there  can  be  no  doubt,  these  two 


226          Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Joseph  Smith. 

facts  exist,  that  Joe  was  as  divinely  inspired  to  translate 
the  one  as  the  other.  I  cannot  say  that  "  one  is  more  in- 
telligent than  the  other,"  but  it  seems  to  me,  that  among 
all  the  "organized  intelligences"  in  Mormonism,  there  is 
one  whom  the  Lord  meant  when  he  said,  "  one  shall  be 
more  intelligent  than  the  other,"  and  it  is  none  other 
than  Historian  Tullidge  himself \  his  "wisdom  excelleth 
them  all."  He  understands  the  prophet's  "  grand  celes- 
tial view;"  he  feels  that  the  "revelations  of  Joseph  dis- 
cover to  us  the  economy  of  the  heavens  in  one  everlasting 
sweep."  Yes,  by  Kokob,  Kolob,  and  the  Kokaubeam, 
"what  a  lifting  up  of  the  race  is  this!  "  Now,  brother 
Tullidge,  these  two  facts  exist-.  Joseph  is  a  prophet  and 
you  are  Joseph's  prophet ! 

Well,  folks,  do  you  want  me  to  talk  philosophy  to  you  ? 
want  a  high-toned  refutation  of  the  most  impudent  lies 
ever  concocted  by  low,  ignorant  impostors  and  cheats  ?  Or 
shall  we,  to  favor  our  digestion  impaired  by  eating  our 
biscuits  too  hot,  unite  in  the  most  tremendous  peal  of 
laughter  that  ever  shook  the  walls  of  any  peaceful  habita- 
tion of  man — laugh,  laugh,  till  the  celebrated  laughter 
of  the  old  Greek  gods  becomes  like  the  low  moaning  of 
a  new-born  mouse  ?  Must  not  our  laughter  be  GNOLAUM, 
id  est,  eternal  ?  Oh,  ye  eternal  KOKAUBEAM,  you  shining 
stars,  look  down  and  laugh  with  us.  You  can't  help  it,  I 
am  sure.  Laugh  or  burst ! 


SIDELIGHTS. 

• 

APPENDIX 

OF 

Documents  and  Facts  Collected  up  to  Fourth 
of  July,   1886. 


I. 

THE  AFFIDAVITS  OF  1833  AND  1834. 


Joseph  Smitti s  Neighbors  and  Companions   Testify  About 
the  Prophet' 's  Character. 


PETER  INGERSOLL: — 

"In  the  month  of  August,  1827,  I  was  hired  by  Joseph 
Smith,  Junior,  to  go  to  Pennsylvania  to  move  his  wife's  house- 
hold furniture  up  to  Manchester,  where  his  wife  then  was.  When  we 
arrived  in  Harmony,  Pa.,  his  father-in-law,  Mr.  ISAAC  HALE,  ad- 
dressed Joseph,  in  a  flood  of  tears:  "You  have  stolen  my  daughter 
and  married  her.  I  had  much  rather  followed  her  to  the  grave. 
You  spend  your  time  in  digging  for  money,  pretend  to  SEE  IN  A  STONE 
and  deceive  the  people."  Joseph  wept  and  acknowledged  he  could 
not  see  in  a  stone  and  never  could,  and  that  Ms  former  pretensions  in 
that  respect  were  all  FALSE.  He  then  promised  to  give  up  his  old 
habits  of  digging  for  money  and  looking  into  stones.  Mr.  Hale  told 
Joseph  if  he  would  move  to  Pennsylvania  and  work  for  a  living,  he 


228  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

would  assist  him  in  getting  into  business.  Joseph  acceded  to  this 
proposition.  Joseph  told  me,  on  his  return,  that  he  intended  to  keep 
the  promise  which  he  had  made  to  his  father-in-law,  "but,"  said  he 
"  it  will  be  hard  for  me,  for  they  will  all  oppose,  as  they  want  me  to 
look  in  the  stone  for  them  to  dig  money,"  and,  in  fact,  it  was  as  he 
predicted.  THEY  URGED  HIM,  day  after  day,  to  resume  his  old  prac- 
tice of  looking  in  the  stone.  One  day  he  came  and  greeted  me  with 
a  joyful  countenance,  and  said:  "As  I  was  passing,  yesterday,  across 
the  woods,  I  found,  in  a  hollow,  some  beautiful  white  sand.  I  took 
off  my  frock,  and  tied  up  several  quarts  of  it  and  then  went  home. 
On  my  entering  the  holise  I  found  the  family  at  the  table,  eating  din- 
ner. They  were  all  anxious  to  know  the  contents  of  my  frock.  At 
that  moment  I  happened  to  think  of  what  I  had  heard  of  a  history 
found  in  Canada,  called  the  GOLDEN  BIBLE,  so  I  very  gravely  told 
them  it  was  the  Golden  Bible.  To  my  surprise  they  were  credulous 
enough  to  believe  what  I  said.  Accordingly  I  told  them  that  I 
had  received  a  commandment  to  let  no  one  see  it,  for,  says  I,  no  man 
can  see  it  with  the  naked  eye  and  live.  Now,  said  Joe,  I  HAVE  GOT 
THE  DAMNED  FOOLS  FIXED  AND  WILL  CARRY  OUT  THE  FUN." 

WILLIAM  STAFFORD: — 

"  The  Smiths  devoted  much  time  to  DIGGING  FOR  MONEY, 
especially  in  the  night.  They  would  say  that  in  such  a  place,  in 
such  a  hill,  on  a  certain  man's  farm,  there  were  deposited  kegs, 
barrels  and  hogsheads  of  coined  silver  and  gold,  bars  of  gold,  golden 
images,  brass  kettles  filled  with  gold  and  silver,  gold  candlesticks, 
swords,  etc.  They  would  say  also  that  nearly  all  the  hills  in  this  part 
of  New  York  were  thrown  up  by  human  hands  and  in  them  were  large 
caves,  which  Joseph,  Jr.,  could  see  by  placing  a  STONE  of  singular 
appearance  in  his  HAT-in  such  a  manner  as  to  exclude  all  light;  that 
he  could  see  within  those  caves  large  gold  bars  and  silver  plates,  that 
he  could  also  discover  the  SPIRITS  in  whose  charge  those  treasures 
were,  clothed  in  ancient  dress.  New  Moon  and  Good  Friday  were 
regarded  as  the  most  favorable  times  for  obtaining  these  treasures. 
Joseph  Smith,,  Sen.,  came  to  me  one  night  and  told  me  that  Joseph,  Jr., 
had  been  LOOKING  IN  HIS  GLASS  and  had  seen,  near  his  house,  two  or 
three  kegs  of  gold  and  silver  some  feet  under  the  surface  of  the  earth. 
Early  in  the  evening  we  repaired  to  the  place  of  deposit.  Joseph,  Sr., 
first  made  a  circle  12  or  14  feet  in  diameter.  This  circle,  he  said,  con- 
tained the  treasure.  He  then  stuck  in  the  ground  a  row  of  witch-hazel 
sticks,  around  the  said  circle,  to  keep  off  the  EVIL  SPIRITS.  Within 
this  circle  he  made  another,  8  or  10  feet  in  diameter.  He  walked 
around  three  times  on  the  periphery  of  this  last  circle,  muttering  to 
himself  something  which  I  could  not  understand.  He  next  stuck  a 
steel  rod  in  the  centre  of  the  circles  and  then  enjoined  profound  silence 
upon  us,  lest  we  should  arouse  the  evil  spirits  who  had  the  charge  of 
these  treasures.  After  we  had  dug  a  trench  about  5  feet  in  depth 
around  the  rod,  the  old  man  by  signs  and  motions  asked  leave  of 


Romantic    Origin  of  the  Peeps  tone.  229 

absence  and  went  to  the  house  to  inquire  of  young  Joseph  the  cause  of 
our  disappointment.  He  soon  returned  and  said  that  Joseph  had 
remained  all  this  time  in  the  house  LOOKING  IN  HIS  STONE  and  watch- 
ing the  motions  of  the  evil  spirit ;  that  he  saw  the  spirit  come  up  to 
the  ring,  and  as  soon  as  it  beheld  the  cone  which  we  had  formed  around 
the  rod,  it  cazised  the  money  to  sink.  We  then  went  to  the  house  and 
the  old  man  observed  that  we  had  made  a  mistake  in  the  commence- 
ment of  the  operation ;  if  it  had  not  had  been  for  that,  said  he,  we 
should  have  got  the  money.  At  another  time  they  devised  a  scheme 
to  satiate  their  hunger  with  the  mutton  of  one  of  my  SHEEP.  They  had 
seen  in  my  flock  a  large,  fat,  black  wether.  Old  Joseph  and  one  of 
the  boys  came  to  me  one  day  and  said  that  young  Joseph  had  discov- 
ered some  great  treasures  which  could  only  be  procured  in  this  way : 
that  a  black  sheep  should  be  taken  on  the  ground  where  the  treasures 
were  concealed,  thaj;  after  cutting  its  throat  it  should  be  led  around  a 
circle  while  bleeding.  This  being  done  the  wrath  of  the  evil  spirit 
would  be  appeased,  the  treasures  could  then  be  obtained  and  my  share 
of  it  was  to  be  FOUR-FOLD.  To  gratify  my  curiosity  I  let  them  have  a 
large  fat  sheep.  They  afterwards  informed  me  that  the  sheep  was 
killed  pursuant  to  commandment,  but  as  there  was  some  mistake  in  the 
process,  it  did  not  work.  This,  I  believe,  is  the  only  time  they  ever 
made  money-digging  a  profitable  business.  They  had  around  them 
constantly  a  worthless  gang. 

WILLARD  CHASE: — 

"In  1820  the  Smiths  were  engaged  in  the  money-digging  busi- 
ness, which  they  followed  until  the  fall  of  1827.  In  1822  I  was  engaged 
in  digging  a  well.  I  employed  Alvin  and  Joseph  Smith  to  assist  me. 
After  digging  about  twenty  feet  below  the  surface  of  the  earth  we 
discovered  A  SINGULARLY  APPEARING  STONE,  which  excited  my  curi- 
osity. I  brought  it  to  the  top  of  the  well.  Joseph  put  it  into  his 
HAT  and  then  his  face  into  the  top  of  his  hat.  The  next  morning  he 
came  to  me  and  wished  to  obtain  the  stone,  alleging  that  he  could  SEE 
IN  IT.  I  lent  it  to  him.  After  obtaining  it  he  began  to  publish 
abroad  what  WONDERS  he  could  discover  by  looking  into  it.  He  had 
it  in  his  possession  about  two  years.  Some  time  in  1825  Hyrum 
Smith  came  to  me  and  wished  to  borrow  the  same  stone,  fie  pledged 
his  word  that  he  would  return  it,  and  I  lent  it  to  him.  In  the  fall  of 
1826,  when  I  asked  Hyrum  for  the  stone,  he  said  :  '  You  cannot  have 
it.'  I  repeated  to  him  the  promise  he  made  me,  upon  which  he  said : 
'  I  don't  care  who  in  the  devil  it  belongs  to,  you  shall  not  have  it.' 

"  In  the  fall  of  1826  Joseph  wanted  to  go  to  Pennsylvania  to  be 
married,  and  having  no  money,  set  his  wits  to  work.  He  went  to 
Lawrence  with  the  following  story,  as  related  to  me  by  Lawrence 
himself:  that  he  had  discovered  in  Pennsylvania,  on  the  banks  of  the 
Susquehannah,  A  VERY  RICH  MINE  OF  SILVER,  and  if  he  would  go 
there  with  him,  he  might  have  a  share  in  the  profits;  that  it  was  near 
high-water  mark  and  that  they  could  load  it  into  boats  and  take  it 


230  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

down  to  Philadelphia  to  market.  Lawrence  asked  Joseph  if  he  was 
not  deceiving  him  ;  «  no,'  said  he,  '  for  I  have  been  there  and  SEEN  IT 
WITH  MY  OWN  EYES,  and  if  you  do  not  find  it  so  when  we  get  there, 
I  will  bind  myself  to  be  your  servant  for  three  years.'  Lawrence 
agreed  to  go  with  him,  had  to  bear  his  expenses  on  the  way,  and 
when  he  wished  to  see  the  silver  mine,  they  found  nothing.  After 
his  marriage  Joseph,  still  out- of  money,  set  his  wits  at  work  how  he 
should  get  back  to  Manchester,  his  place  of  residence  He  went  to 
an  honest  old  Dutchman,  called  Stowel,  and  told  him  that  he  had 
discovered  on  the  bank  of  Black  River  a  cave,  in  which  he  had  found 
A  BAR  OF  GOLD,  AS  BIG  AS  HIS  LEG  and  three  or  four  feet  long ;  that 
he  could  not  get  it  out  alone,  and  if  he  would  move  him  to  Man- 
chester, N.  Y.,  they  would  go  together,  get  a  chisel  and  mallet  and 
get  it  and  Stowel  should  share  the  prize  with  him.  Stowel  moved 
him.  After  their  arrival  in  Manchester  Stowel  Reminded  Joseph  of 
his  promise,  but  he  calmly  replied  that  he  would  not  go,  because  his 
wife  was  now  among  strangers  and  would  be  very  lonesome  if  he 
went  away.  Mr.  Stowel  was  then  obliged  to  return  without  any  gold. 
"  In  April,  1830,  I  again  asked  Hyrum  for  the  stone;  he  told  me  I 
should  not  have  it,  for  Joseph  MADE  USE  OF  IT  IN  TRANSLATING  HIS 
BIBLE.  The  Smiths  were  regarded  by  their  neighbors  as  a  PEST  TO 
SOCIETY.-  I  have  always  regarded  Joseph  Smith,  Jr.,  as  a  man  whose 
word  could  not  be  depended  upon.  Hyrum's  character  was  but  very 
little  better.  The  whole  family  were  WORTHLESS  PEOPLE.  After 
they  became  thorough  Mormons  their  conduct  was  more  disgraceful 
than  ever.  Their  tongues  were  continually  employed  in  spreading 
scandal  and  abuse.  Although  they  left  this  part  of  the  country  with- 
out paying  their  just  debts,  yet  their  creditors  were  glad  to  have  them 
do  so,  rather  than  have  them  stay.'1'1  » 

I  introduce  now  the  statement  of  a  living  brother  of 
Willard  Chase,  Mr.  Abel  D.  Chase,  never  published  be- 
fore. It  has  a  special  interest  in  showing  up  Rigdon's 
secret  visits  at  the  Smiths  at  the  time  when  he  and  Joe 
were  engineering  the  Gold  Bible  fraud  : 

PALMYRA,  Wayne  Co.,  N.  Y.,  May  2,  1879. 

I,  Abel  D.  Chase,  now  living  in  Palmyra,  Wayne  Co.,  N.  Y.,  make 
the  following  statement  ragarding  my  early  acquaintance  with  Joseph 
Smith  and  incidents  about  the  production  of  the  so-called  Mormon 
Bible.  I  was  well  acquainted  with  the  Smith  family,  frequently  visit- 
ing the  Smith  boys  and  they  me.  I  was  a  youth  at  the  time  from  twelve 
to  thirteen  years  old,  having  been  born  Jan.  19,  1814,  at  Palmyra,  N. 
Y.  During  some  of  my  visits  at  the  Smiths,  I  saw  a  STRANGER  there 
WHO  THEY  SAID  WAS  MR.  RiGDON.  He  was  at  Smith's  several  times, 
and  it  was  in  the  year  of  1827  when  I  first  saw  him  there,  as  near  as 
I  can  recollect.  Some  time  alter  that  tales  were  circulated  that  young 


Sidney  Rigdon  Hanging  Around  Smith? s.         231 

Joe  had  found  or  dug  from  the  earth  a  BOOK  OF  PLATES  which  the 
Smiths  called  the  GOLDEN  BIBLE.  I  don't  think  Smith  had  any  such 
plates.  He  was  mysterious  in  his  actions.  The  PEEPSTONE,  in  which  he 
was  accustomed  to  look,  he  got  of  my  elder  brother  Willard  while  at 
work  for  us  digging  a  well.  It  was  a  singular  looking  stone  and  young 
Joe  pretended  he  could  discover  hidden  things  in  it. 

My  brother  Willard  Chase  died  at  Palmyra,  N.  Y.,  March  10,  1871. 
His  affidavit,  published  in  Howe's  "  History  of  Mormonism,"  is  genu- 
ine. Peter  Ingersoll,  whose  affidavit  was  published  in  the  same  book, 
is  also  dead.  He  moved  West  years  ago  and  died  about  two  years 
ago.  Ingersoll  had  the  reputation  of  being  a  man  of  his  word,  and  I 
haye  no  doubt  his  sworn  statement  regarding  the  Smiths  and  the  Mor- 
mon Bible  is  genuine.  I  was  also  well,  acquainted  with  Thomas  P. 
Baldwin,  a  lawyer  and  Notary  Public,  and  Frederick  Smith,  a  lawyer 
and  magistrate,  before  whom  Chase's  and  Ingersoll's  depositions  were 
made,  and  who  were  residents  of  this  village  at  the  time  and  for  sev- 
eral years  after. 

ABEL  D.  CHASE. 

Abel  D.  Chase  signed  the  above  statement  in  our  presence,  and  he 
is  known  to  us  and  the  entire  community  here  as  a  man  whose  word  is 
always  the  exact  truth  and  above  any  possible  suspicion. 

PLINY  T.  SEXTON, 
J.  H.  GILBERT.  * 

The  statement  of  Abel  D.  Chase  is  corroborated  by 
a  letter  from  Mr.  J.  H.  Gilbert,  addressed  to  my  friend 
Cobb,  dated  Palmyra,  October  14,  1879.  Mr.  Gilbert 
says  : 

"  Last  evening  T  had  about  15  minutes  conversation  with  Mr.  Lo- 
renzo Saunders  of  Reading,  Hillsdale  Co.,  Mich.  He  has  been  gone 
about  thirty  years.  He  was  born  south  of  our  village  in  l8ll,and  was 
a  near  neighbor  of  the  Smith  family — knew  them  all  well ;  was  in  the 
habit  of  visiting  the  Smith  boys;  says  he  knows  that  RIGDON  was  hang- 
ing around  Smith's  for  EIGHTEEN  MONTHS  PRIOR  TO  THE  PUBLISHING 
OF  THE  MORMON  BIBLE." 

PURLEY  CHASE,  another  brother  of  Willard,  states  : — 

"  The  Smith  family  were  lazy,  intemperate  and  worthless  men, 
very  much  addicted  to  lying.  IN  THIS  THEY  FREQUENTLY  BOASTED 
THEIR  SKILL." 

DAVID  STAFFORD  : — 

"  Old  Joseph  Smith  was  a  drunkard  and  a  liar  and  much  in   the 

*  Mr.  Sexton  was  at  the  time  of  this  affidavit  the  village  President 
of  Palmyra  and  President  of  the  first  National  bank  there.  Mr.  Gil- 
bert is  the  same  who  printed  the  first  edition  of  the  Book  of  Mormon. 


232  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

habit  of  gambling.  He  and  his  boys  were  truly  a  lazy  set  of  fellows 
and  more  particularly  Joseph,  who  very  aptly  followed  his  father's 
example  and  in  some  respects  was  worse.  When  intoxicated  he  was 
very  quarrelsome.  The  general  employment  of  the  Smith  family  was 
money-digging  and  FORTUNE-TELLING.  They  kept  around  them,  con- 
stantly, a  gang  of  worthless  fellows  who  dug  for  money  nights  and 
were  idle  in  the  daytime.  It  was  a  mystery  to  their  neighbors  how  they 
got  their  living." 

BARTON  STAFFORD  : — 

"  Old  Joseph  Smith  was  a  noted  drunkard  and  most  of  the  family 
followed  his  example,  especially  young  Joseph,  who  was  very  much 
addicted  to  intemperance.  No  one  of  the  family  had  the  least  claim 
to  respectability.  One  day,  while  at  work  in  my  father's  field,  Joseph 
got  quite  drunk  and  fell  to  scuffling  with  one  of  the  workmen  who 
tore  his  shirt  nearly  off  from  him.  His  wife  threw  her  shawl  over 
his  shoulders  and  escorted  the  prophet  home." 

ROSWELL  NICHOLS  : — 

"  For  breach  of  contracts,  for  the  non-payment  of  debts  and  bor- 
rowed money,  and  for  duplicity  with  their  neighbors,  the  Smith  fam- 
ily were  NOTORIOUS." 

JOSHUA  STAFFORD  :— 

"  Joseph  Jr.,  once  showed  me  a  piece  of  wood  which  he  said  he 
took  from  a  box  of  money,  and  the  reason  he  gave  for  not  obtaining 
the  box,  was,  that  it  moved.  At  another  time  Joseph  called  on  me  to 
become  security  for  a  horse,  and  said  he  would  reward  me  handsomely, 
for  he  had  found  a  box  of  watches,  and  they  were  as  large  as  his  fist, 
and  he  put  one  of  them  to  his  ear  and  he  could  hear  it  'tick  forty 
rods.'  He  said  if  he  did  not  return  with  the  horse  I  might  take  his 
life.  He  was  nearly  intoxicated at  the  time  of  this  conversation." 

JOSEPH  CAPRON  : — 

"Joseph,  and  indeed  the  whole  family  of  Smiths,  were  notorious  for 
indolence,  foolery  and  falsehood.  Their  great  object  appeared  to  be  to 
live  without  work.  While  they  were  digging  for  money  they  were 
daily  harassed  by  the  demands  of  creditors,  which  they  were  never 
able  to  pay.  At  length,  Joseph  pretended  to  find  the  gold  plates. 
This  scheme,  he  believed,  would  relieve  the  family  from  all  pecuniary 
embarrassment.  His  father  told  me  that  when  the  book  was  pub- 
lished they  would  be  enabled,  from  the  profits  of  the  work,  to  carry 
into  successful  operation  the  money -digging  business.  He  gave  me  no 
intimation,  at  that  time,  that  the  book  was  to  be  of  a  religious  charac- 
ter, or  that  it  had  anything  to  do  with  revelation.  He  declared  it  to 
be  a  speculation,  and  said  he  :  *  When  it  is  completed,  my  family  will 
be  placed  ON  A  LEVEL  ABOVE  THE  GENERALITY  OF  MANKIND.'  " 


Testimony  of  Sixty -two  Decent  Folks.  233 

G.  W.  STODDARD  : — 

"  I  have  been  acquainted  with  MARTIN  HARRIS  about  thirty  years. 
As  a  farmer  he  was  industrious  and  enterprising ;  he  possessed  eight 
or  ten  thousand  dollars,  but  his  moral  and  religious  character  was  such 
as  not  to  entitle  him  to  respect  among  his  neighbors.  He  was  fretful, 
peevish  and  quarrelsome,  frequently  abused  his  wife  by  whipping  her, 
kicking  her  out  of  bed,  turning  her  out  of  doors,  etc.  He  was  first 
an  orthodox  Quaker,  then  a  Universalist,  next  a  Restorationer,  then  a 
Baptist,  next  a  Presbyterian,  and  then  a  Mormon.  The  Smith  family 
never  made  any  pretensions  to  respectability." 

TESTIMONY  OF  FIFTY-ONE   LEADING   CITIZENS   OF   PALMYRA,   DE- 
CEMBER 4,   1833  : — 

"  We  the  undersigned,  have  been  acquainted  with  the  Smith  fam- 
ily for  a  number  of  years  while  they  resided  near  this  place,  and  we 
have  no  hesitation  in  saying  that  we  consider  them  DESTITUTE  OF 
THAT  MORAL  CHARACTER  which  ought  to  entitle  them  to  the  con- 
fidence of  any  community.  They  were  particularly  famous  for  visionary 
projects;  spent  much  time  in  digging  for  money.  Joseph  Smith,  Sen- 
ior, and  his  son  JOSEPH  were,  in  particular,  considered  entirely  destitute 
<?/  moral  character  and  addicted  to  vicious  habits.  In  reference  to  all 
with  whom  we  were  acquainted  that  have  embraced  Mormonism,  from 
this  neighborhood,  we  are  compelled  to  say  were  most  of  them  desti- 
titute  of  moral  character.  " 

TESTIMONY  OF  ELEVEN  LEADING  CITIZENS  OF  MANCHESTER,  Nov.  3, 
1833:- 

"  We,  the  undersigned,  being  PERSONALLY  acquainted  with  the  family 
of  Joseph  Smith,  Sen.,  state:  That  they  were  not  only  a  lazy,  indo- 
lent set  of  men,  but  also  intemperate ;  and  their  word  was  not  to  be 
depended  upon,  and  that  we  are  TRULY  GLAD  to  dispense  with  their 
society." 

ISAAC  HALE,  FATHER-IN-LAW  OF  JOSEPH  SMITH  : — 

"  I  first  became  acquainted  with  young  Smith  in  November,  1825. 
He  was  at  that  time  in  the  employ  of  a  set  of  men  who  were  called 
'  MONEY  DIGGERS  ; '  and  his  occupation  was  that  of  SEEING  or  pre  - 
tending  to  see  by  means  of  a  STONE  placed  in  his  HAT  and  his  hat 
closed  over  his  face.  His  appearance  at  this  time  was  that  of  a  care- 
less young  man,  very  saucy  and  insolent  to  his  father.  Smith  and  his 
father,  with  several  other  'money-diggers,'  boarded  at  my  house  while 
they  were  employed  digging  for  a  mine  that  they  supposed  had  been 
opened  and  worked  by  the  SPANIARDS,  many  years  since.  Young 
Smith  gave  the  diggers  great  encouragement  at  first,  but  when  they  had 
arrived  in  digging  to  near  the  place  where  HE  HAD  STATED  an  IMMENSE 
TREASURE  would  be  found,  he  said  the  ENCHANTMENT  was  so  power- 
ful that  he  could  not  see.  Then  they  became  discouraged  and  soon 
after  dispersed. 


234  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Sidelights. 

"  Young  Smith  at  length  asked  my  consent  to  his  marrying  my 
daughter  EMMA.  This  I  refused,  because  he  was  a  stranger  and  fol- 
lowed a  business  that  I  could  not  approve.  Not  long  after  this  they 
were  married  without  my  consent.  They  came  subsequently  to  the 
conclusion  that  they  would  reside  upon  a  place  near  my  residence. 
Smith  stated  to  me  that  he  had  given  up  what  he  called  '  GLASS-LOOK- 
ING,' and  that  he  expected  to  work  hard  for  a  living.  I  was  informed 
that  they  (Joseph  and  Emma)  had  brought  a  wonderful  Boo*K  OF 
PLATES  with  them.  The  manner  in  which  he  pretended  to  read  and 
interpret  the  plates  was  the  same  as  when  he  looked  for  the  money- 
diggers,  WITH  THE  STONE  IN  HIS  HAT  AND  HIS  HAT  OVER  HIS  FACE, 

while  the  Book  of  Plates  was  at  the  same  time  hid  in  the  woods!  I 
conscientiously  believe,  from  the  facts  detailed  and  from  many  other 
circumstances, that  the  whole  "  Book  of  Mormon"  is  a  SILLY  FABRICA- 
TION OF  FALSEHOOD  and  wickedness,  got  up  for  SPECULATION,  in  order 
that  its  fabricators  may  live  upon  the  SPOILS  of  those  who  swallow  the 
deception." 

HEZEKIAH  McKuNE: — 

"  Joseph  Smith  said  he  was  NEARLY  EQUAL  WITH  JESUS  CHRIST  ; 
that  he  was  a  prophet  sent  by  God  to  bring  in  the  Jews  and  that  he 
was  the  GREATEST  PROPHET  that  had  ever  arisen." 

ALVA  HALE,  son  of  Isaac  Hale  : — 

"Smith  told  me  that  this  'PEEPING'  (in  the  stone)  wras  all 
DAMNED  NONSENSE,  that  he  intended  to  quit  the  business  (of  peeping) 
and  labor  for  his  livelihood." 

LEVI  LEWIS  : —  * 

"  I  heard  Joseph  Smith  and  Martin  Harris  both  say  that  ADUL- 
TERY WAS  NO  CRiME.f  I  saw  him  three  times  INTOXICATED  while  he 
was  composing  the  Book  of  Mormon  and  heard  him  use  language  of 
the  GREATEST  PROFANITY.  He  said,  also,  that  he  was  AS  GOOD  AS 
JESUS  CHRIST,  that  it  was  as  bad  to  injure  him  as  to  injure  Jesus 
Christ.  With  regard  to  the  plates,  he  said  GOD  HAD  DECEIVED  HIM, 
which  was  the  reason  he  did  not  show  them." 

*  Clergyman,  and  uncle  of  Joseph's  wife  Emma  .  Joseph  and  Hiel 
Lewis  were  his  sons.  See  their  joint  affidavit,  pages  78 — 81. 

f  Anyone,  except  a  Mormon  leader,  sees  here  the  first  glimpse  of 
'  Celestial  Marriage '  and  the  rest. 


A  Jury  Rejects  Joe' s  Testimony.  235 

II. 

THE   GOLD    BIBLE    COMPANY. 


STATEMENT  OF  HENRY  HARRIS  : — 

I  became  acquainted  with  the  family  of  Joseph 
Smith,  Sen.,  about  the  year  1820,  in  the  town  of  Man- 
chester, New  York.  They  were  a  family  that  labored 
very  little  —  the  chief  they  did  was  to  dig  for  money. 
Joseph  Smith,  Jr.,  used  to  pretend  to  TELL  FORTUNES  ;  he 
had  a  stone  which  he  used  to  put  in  his  hat,  by  means  of 
which  he  proposed  to  tell  people's  fortunes. 

Joseph  Smith,  Jr.,  Martin  Harris  and  others  used  to 
meet  together  in  private,  a  while  before  the  gold  plates 
were  found,  and  were  familiarly  known  by  the  name  of 
'  THE  GOLD  BIBLE  COMPANY.'  They  were  regarded  by  the 
community  in  which  they  lived  as  a  lying  and  indolent 
set  of  men,  and  no  confidence  could  be  placed  in  them. 

The  character  of  Joseph  Smith,  Jr.,  for  truth  and 
veracity  was  such  that  I  would  NOT  BELIEVE  HIM  UNDER 
OATH.  I  was  once  on  a  jury  before  a  justice's  court,  and 

THE  JURY  COULD  NOT  AND  DID  NOT  BELIEVE  HIS  TESTI- 
MONY to  be  true.  After  he  pretended  to  have  found  the 
gold  plates  I  had  a  conversation  with  him  and  asked  him 
where  he  found  them  and  how  he  came  to  know  where 
they  were.  He  said  he  had  a  revelation  from  God  that 
they  were  hid  in  a  certain  hill,  and  he  looked  in  his  stone 
and  saw  them  in  the  place  of  deposit ;  that  an  angel  ap- 
peared and  told  him  he  could  not  get  the  plates  until  he 
was  married.  I  asked  him  what  letters  were  engraved  on 
them  :  he  said  ITALIC  LETTERS  WRITTEN  IN  AN  UNKNOWN 
LANGUAGE  and  that  he  had  copied  some  of  the  words  and 
sent  them  to  Dr.  Mitchell  and  Professor  Anthon,  of  New 
York.  By  looking  on  the  plates  he  said  he  could  not 
understand  the  words,  but  it  was  made  known  to  him 
that  he  was  the  person  that  must  translate  them,  and  on 
looking  through  the  stone  was  enabled  to  translate. 


236  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

After  the  book  was  published  I  frequently  bantered 
him  for  a  copy.  He  asked  fourteen  shillings  a  piece  for 
them ;  I  told  him  I  would  not  give  so  much  ;  he  told  me 
he  had  had  a  REVELATION  that  they  must  be  sold  at  that 
price.  Some  time  afterwards  I  talked  with  Martin  Harris 
about  buying  one  of  the  books,  and  he  told  me  they  had 
had  a  NEW  REVELATION  that  they  might  be  sold  at  ten 
shillings  a  piece. 

STATEMENT  OF  ABIGAIL  HARRIS  : — 

PALMYRA,  N.  Y.,  Nov.  28,  1833. 

In  the  early  part  of  the  winter  in  1828  I  made  a 
visit  to  Martin  Harris's,  and  was  joined  in  company  by 
Joseph  Smith,  Sen.,  and  his  wife.  The  Gold  Bible  busi- 
ness, so  called,  was  the  topic  of  conversation,  to  which  I 
paid  particular  attention  that  I  might  learn  the  truth  of 
the  whole  matter.  They  told  me  that  the  report  that 
young  Joseph  had  found  golden  plates  was  true,  and  that 
he  was  in  Harmony,  Pennsylvania,  translating  them ; 
that  such  plates  were  in  existence,  and  that  young  Joseph 
was  to  obtain  them,  was  revealed  to  him  by  the  SPIRIT 
of  one  of  the  saints  who  was  on  this  continent  previous 
to  its  discovery  by  Columbus.  Old  Mrs.  Smith  observed 
that  she  thought  he  must  be  a  QUAKER,  AS  HE  WAS 
DRESSED  VERY  PLAIN.  They  said  that  the  plates  he  then 
had  in  his  possession  were  but  an  introduction  to  the  Gold 
Bible — that  all  of  them  upon  which  the  Bible  was  written 
were  so  heavy  that  it  would  TAKE  FOUR  STOUT  MEN  to  load 
them  into  a  cart  —  that  Joseph  had  also  discovered  by 
looking  through  his  stone  the  VESSEL  in  which  the  gold 
was  melted  from  which  the  plates  were  made,  and  also  the 
MACHINE  with  which  they  were  rolled  ;  he  also  discovered 
in  the  bottom  of  the  vessel  THREE  BALLS  OF  GOLD,  each  as 
large  as  his  FIST.  The  old  lady  said  also  that  after  the 
book  was  translated  the  plates  were  to  be  PUBLICLY  EXHIB- 
ITED— admittance  twenty-five  cents.  She  calculated  it 
would  bring  in  annually  an  enormous  sum  of  money — 
that  money  would  then  be  very  plenty  and  the  book 
would  also  sell  for  a  great  price,  as  it  was  something  en- 
tirely new — that  they  had  been  commanded  to  obtain  all 


Martin  Wants  to  Make  Money.  237 

the  money  they  could  borrow  for  present  necessity,  and 
to  repay  with  GOLD.  The  remainder  was  to  be  kept 
in  store  for  their  family  and  children.  [Here  follows  the 
little  anecdote  related  on  p.  18]. 

In  the  second  month  following,  Martin  Harris  and  his 
wife  were  at  my  house.  In  conversation  about  Mormon- 
ites,  she  observed  that  she  wished  her  husband  would  quit 
them,  as  she  believed  it  was  all  false  and  a  delusion.  To 
which  I  heard  Martin  Harris  reply:  "  What  if  it  is  a  LIE? 
If  you  will  let  me  alone,  I  WILL  MAKE  MONEY  OUT  OF  IT  !  " 
I  was  both  an  eye  and  an  ear  witness  of  what  has  been 
stated  above. 

STATEMENT  OF  LUCY  HARRIS  : — 

PALMYRA,  Nov.  29,  1833. 

Being  called  upon  to  give  a  statement  to  the  world  of 
what  I  know  respecting  the  Gold  Bible  speculation  and 
also  of  the  conduct  of  Martin  Harris,  my  husband,  who  is 
a  leading  character  among  the  Mormons,  I  do  it  free 
from  prejudice,  realizing  tnat  I  must  give  an  account  at 
the  bar  of  God  for  what  I  say.  Martin  Harris  was  once 
industrious,  attentive  to  his  domestic  concerns,  and  thought 
to  be  worth  about  $10,000.  He  is  naturally  quick  in  his 
temper  and  at  times  while  I  lived  with  him  he  has  whipped, 
kicked  and  turned  me  out  of  the  house.  About  a  year 
previous  to  the  report  being  raised  that  Smith  had  found 
gold  plates,  he  became  very  intimate  with  the  Smith  fami- 
ly and  said  he  believed  Joseph  could  see  in  his  stone  any- 
thing he  wished.  After  this  he  apparently  became  very 
sanguine  in  his  belief. 

Whether  the  Mormon  religion  be  true  or  false,  I  leave 
the  world  to  judge,  for  its  effects  upon  Martin  Harris  have 
been  to  make  him  more  cross,  turbulent  and  abusive  to  me. 

HlS  WHOLE  OBJECT  WAS  TO  MAKE  MONEY  BY  IT.     I  will  give 

one  circumstance  in  proof  of  it.  One  day  while  at  Peter 
Harris'  house,  I  told  him  he  had  better  leave  the  company 
of  the  Smiths,  as  their  religion  was  false ;  to  which  he 
replied,  "If  you  would  let  me  alone,  I  could  make  money 
by  it."  It  is  in  vain  for  the  Mormons  to  deny  these  facts, 
for  they  are  all  well  known  to  most  of  his  former  neigh- 


238  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

bors.  The  man  has  now  rather  become  an  object  of  pity ; 
he  has  spent  most  of  his  property.  He  now  spends  his 
time  in  traveling  through  the  country  spreading  the  delu- 
sion of  Mormonism  and  has  no  regard  whatever  for  his 
family. 


III. 

SPAULDING'S    "MANUSCRIPT   FOUND.'1 


STATEMENT  OF  JOHN  SPAULDING  : — 

Solomon  Spaulding  [my  brother]  was  born  in  Ashford, 
Conn.,  in  1761,  and  in  early  life  contracted  a  taste  for 
literary  pursuits.  He  entered  Dartmouth  College,  where 
he  obtained  the  degree  of  A.  M.  and  was  afterwards  regu- 
larly ordained.  After  preaching  three  or  four  years,  he 
commenced  the  mercantile  business.  In  a  few  years  he 
failed  in  business  and  in  1809  removed  to  Conneaut,  Ohio. 
The  year  following  I  found  him  engaged  in  building  a 
forge.  I  made  him  a  visit  in  about  three  years  after  and 
found  that  he  had  failed  and  was  considerably  involved  in 
debt.  He  then  told  me  he  had  been  writing  a  book, 
which  he  intended  to  have  printed,  the  avails  of  which  he 
thought  would  enable  him  to  pay  all  his  debts.  The  book 
was  entitled  the  "Manuscript  Found'''  of  which  he  read 
to  me  many  pages.  It  was  an  historical  romance  of  the 
first  settlers  of  America,  endeavoring  to  show  that  the 
American  Indians  are  the  descendants  of  the  Jews  or  the 
lost  tribes.  It  gave  a  detailed  account  of  their  journey 
from  Jerusalem,  by  land  and  sea,  till  they  arrived  in 
America,  under  the  command  of  Nephi  and  Lehi.  They 
afterwards  had  quarrels  and  contentions  and  separated 
into  two  distinct  nations,  one  of  which  he  denominated 
Nephites  and  the  other  Lamanites.  Cruel  and  bloody  wars 
ensued,  in  which  great  multitudes  were  slain.  They  bur- 
ied their  dead  in  large  heaps,  which  caused  the  mounds  so 
common  in  this  country.  Their  arts,  sciences  and  civili- 


They  All  Recognize  the  Cranky  Book.  239 

zation  were  brought  into  view  in  order  to  account  for  all 
the  antiquities  found  in  various  parts  of  North  and  South 
America.  I  have  recently  read  the  Book  of  Mormon  and 
to  my  great  surprise  I  find  nearly  the  same  historical  mat- 
ter, names,  etc.,  as  they  were  in  my  brother's  writings.  I 
well  remember  that  he  wrote  in  the  old  style,  and  com- 
menced about  every  sentence  with  "  AND  IT  CAME  TO  PASS," 
or  -''Now  it  came  to  pass,"  the  same  as  in  the  Book  of 
Mormon,  and  according  to  the  best  of  my  recollection  and 
belief  //  is  the  same  as  my  brother  wrote,  with  the  exception 
of  the  religious  matter. 

STATEMENT  OF  HENRY  LAKE  : — 

CONNEAUT,  OHIO,  September,  1833. 
I  left  the  State  of  New  York  late  in  the  year  1810,  and 
arrived  at  this  place  about  the  first  of  January  following. 
Soon  after  my  arrival  I  formed  a  co-partnership  with  Sol- 
omon Spaulding  for  the  purpose  of  rebuilding  a  forge. 
He  very  frequently  read  to  me  from  a  manuscript  which 
he  was  writing,  which  he  entitled  the  ' '  Manuscript  Found, ' 
and  which  he  represented  as  being  found  in  this  town.  I 
spent  many  hours  in  hearing  him  read  said  writings  and 
became  well  acquainted  with  its  contents.  He  wished  me 
to  assist  him  in  getting  his  production  printed,  alleging 
that  a  book  of  that  kind  would  meet  wy:h  a  rapid  sale. 
This  book  represented  the  American  Indians  as  the  des- 
cendants of  the  lost  tribes,  gave  an  account  of  their 
leaving  Jerusalem,  their  contentions  and  wars.  One  time, 
when  he  was  reading  to  me  the  tragic  account  of  Laban, 
I  pointed  out  to  him  what  I  considered  an  inconsistency, 
which  he  promised  to  correct ;  but  by  referring  to  the 
Book  of  Mormon,  I  find,  to  my  surprise,  that  it  stands 
there  just  as  he  read  it  to  me  then.  Some  months  ago  I 
borrowed  the  Golden  Bible,  put  it  into  my  pocket,  car- 
ried it  home  and  thought  no  more  of  it.  About  a  week 
after,  my  wife  found  the  book  in  my  coat  pocket  and 
commenced  reading  it  aloud  as  I  lay  upon  the  bed.  She 
had  not  read  twenty  minutes  till  I  was  astonished  to  find 
the  same  passages  in  it  that  Spaulding  had  read  to  me 
more  than  twenty  years  before,  from  his  "  Manuscript 


240  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

Found."  Since  that  I  have  more  fully  examined  the  said 
Golden  Bible  and  have  no  hesitation  in  saying  that  the 
historical  part  of  it  is  principally,  if  not  wholly,  taken 
from  the  "  Manuscript  Found."  '  I  recollect  telling  Mr. 
Spaulding  that  the  so  frequent  use  of  the  words,  "  And  it 
came  to  pass,"  "  Now  it  came  to  pass"  rendered  it  ridic- 
ulous. 

STATEMENT  OF  JOHN  N.  MILLER  : — 

SPRINGFIELD,  Pa.,  Sept.,  1833. 

In  the  year  1811  I  was  in  the  employ  of  Henry  Lake 
and  Sol.  Spaulding,  at  Conneaut,  engaged  in  rebuilding  a 
forge.  While  there  I  boarded  and  lodged  in  the  family 
of  said  Spaulding  for  several  months.  I  was  soon  intro- 
duced to  the  manuscripts  of  Spaulding  and  perused  them 
as  often  as  I  had  leisure.  From  the  "  Manuscript  Found  " 
he  would  frequently  read  some  humorous  passages  to  the 
company  present.  It  purported  to  be  the  history  of  the 
first  settlement  of  America,  before  discovered  by  Colum- 
bus. He  said  that  he  designed  it  as  an  historical  novel, 
and  that  in  after  years  it  would  be  believed  by  many  peo- 
ple as  much  as  the  history  of  England. 

I  have  recently  examined  the  Book  of  Mormon  and 
find  in  it  the  writings  of  Solomon  Spaulding,  from  begin- 
ning to  end,  but  mixed  up  with  Scripture  and  other  relig- 
ious matter,  whfch  I  did  not  meet  with  in  the  "  Manuscript 
Found."  Many  of  the  passages  in  the  Mormon  book  are 
verbatim  from  Spaulding,  and  others  in  part.  The  names 
of  Nephi,  Lehi,  Moroni,  and  in  fact  all  the  principal 
names  are  brought  fresh  to  my  recollection  by  the  Gold 
Bible. 

STATEMENT  OF  AARON  WRIGHT  : — * 

Spaulding  showed  me  and  read  to  me  a  history  he  was 
writing,  of  the  lost  tribes  of  Israel,  purporting  that  they 

*A  Mr.  Jackson,  who  was  in  a  meeting  at  Conneaut  when  a 
Mormon  preacher  read  from  the  Book  of  Mormon,  says  that  "  Squire  " 
Wright  shouted  out :  "  OLD-COME-TO-PASS  HAS  COME  TO  LIFE 
AGAIN!"  "And  it  came  to  pass,"  occurs  in  the  book  only  about 
fourteen  hundred  times. 


Rigdon  the   Originator  of  the  Fraud.  241 

were  the  first  settlers  of  America  and  that  the  Indians 
were  their  descendants.  The  historical  part  of  the  Book 
of  Mormon  I  know  to  be  the  same  as  I  read  and  heard 
read  from  the  writings  of  Spaulding  more  than  twenty 
years  ago.  The  names,  more  especially,  are  the  same, 
without  any  alteration.  I  once  anticipated  reading  his 
writings  in  print,  but  little  expected  to  see  them  in  a  new 
Bible. 

STATEMENT  OF  OLIVER  SMITH  : — 

All  his  [Spaulding' s]  leisure  hours  were  occupied  in 
writing  a  historical  novel,  founded  upon  the  first  settlers 
of  this  country ;  he  would  give  a  satisfactory  account  of 
all  the  old  mounds,  so  common  to  this  country.  Nephi 
and  Lehi  were  by  him  represented  as  leading  characters. 
But  no  religious  matter  was  introduced.  When  I  heard 
the  historical  part  of  the  Book  of  Mormon  related  I  at 
once  said  it  was  the  writings  of  old  Solomon  Spaulding. 


IV. 

• 
RIGDON  AND  SPAULDING'S  MANUSCRIPT. 


Rev.  John  Winter,  who  was  intimate  with  Rigdon, 
states : 

"  In  1822  or  1823  Rigdon  took  out  of  his  desk  in  his  study  a  large 
manuscript,  stating  that  it  was  a  Bible  romance  written  by  a  Presbyte- 
rian preacher  whose  health  had  failed  and  who  had  taken  it  to  the 
printers  to  see  if  it  would  pay  to  publish  it." 

James  Jeffries  testified  Jan.  20,  i884  : 

"  Forty  years  ago  I  was  in  business  in  St.  Louis.  The  Mormons 
then  had  their  temple  in  Nauvoo.  I  had  business  transactions  with 
them.  I  knew  Sidney  Rigdon.  He  told  me  several  times  that  there 
was  in  the  printing  office  with  which  he  was  connected,  in  Ohio,  a 
manuscript  of  the  Rev.  Spaulding,  tracing  the  origin  of  the  Indians 
from  the  lost  tribes  of  Israel.  This  MS.  was  in  the  office  several  years. 
He  was  familiar  with  it.  Spaulding  wanted  it  published,  but  had  not 
the  means  to  pay  for  the  printing.  He  [Rigdon]  and  Joe  Smith  used 


242  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.   Sidelights. 

to  look  over  the  MS.  and  read  it  on  Sundays.    Rigdon  said  Smith  took 
the  MS.  and  said,  '  I'll  print  it,'  and   went  off  to  Palmyra,  New  York." 

Adamson  Bentley,  Rigdon's  brother-in-law,  states: 

"  I  know  that  Sidney  Rigdon  told  me  as  much  as  two  years  before 
the  Mormon  Book  made  its  appearance,  or  had  been  heard  of  by  me, 
that  there  was  a  book  coming  out,  the  manuscript  of  which  was 
engraved  on  GOLD  PLATES." 

Statement  of  Thomas  J.  Clapp,  son-in-law  of  Adamson 
Bentley  : 

"  Elder  Adamson  Bentley  told  me  that  as  he  was  one  day  riding 
with  Sidney  Rigdon  *  and  conversing  upon  the  Bible,  Mr.  Rigdon  told 
him  that  another  book  of  equal  authority  -with  the  bible,  as  well  au- 
thenticated and  as  ancient,  which  \vould  give  an  account  of  the  history 
of  the  Indian  tribes  on  this  continent,  with  many  other  things  of  great 
importance  to  the  world,  would  soon  be  published.  This  was  before 
Mormonism  was  ever  heard  of  in  Ohio,  and  when  it  appeared,  the 
avidity  with  which  Rigdon  received  it  convinced  him  that  if  Rigdon 
was  not  the  author  of  it  he  was  at  least  acquainted  with  the  whole 
matter  some  time  before  it  was  published  to  the  world."  [Letter  from 
Mr.  Clapp,  dated  Mentor,  Ohio,  April  9,  1879.] 

Alexander  Campbell  was  present  at  the  conversation 
between  Bentley  and  Rigdon,  and  says  about  it : 

"  Rigdow,  at  the  same  time,  observed  that  on  the  plates  dug  up  in 
New  York  there  was  an  account  not  only  of  the  aborigines  of  this  con- 
tinent, but  it  was  stated  also  that  the  Christian  religion  had  been 
preached  on  this  continent,  during  the  first  century,  just  as  we  were 
then  preaching  it  on  the  Western  Reserve." 

Darwin  Atwater,  of  Mantua,  Ohio,  testifies  : 

"  That  Rigdon  knew  beforehand  of  the  coming  of  the  Book  of  Mor- 
mon is  to  me  certain  from  what  he  said  during  the  first  of  his  visits  to 
my  father,  in  1826.  He  gave  a  wonderful  description  of  the  mounds 
and  other  antiquities  found  in  some  parts  of  America  and  said  that  they 
must  have  been  made  by  the  aborigines.  He  said  there  was  a  BOOK  to 
be  published  containing  an  account  of  these  things." 

Zebulon  Rudolph,  Mrs.  Garfield's  father,  states: 

"  During  the  winter  previous  to  the  appearance  of  the  Book  of 
Mormon,  Rigdon  was  in  the  habit  of  spending  weeks  away  from  home, 
going  no  one  knew  whither.  He  often  appeared  preoccupied  and 

*  Rigdon  married  a  niece  and  adopted  daughter  of  Bentley,  living 
with  and  upon  B.  for  quite  a  length  of  time. 


Rigdon  Steals  Spaulding  s  Manuscript.    •        243 

would  indulge  in  dreamy  visionary  talks,  which  puzzled  those  who  list- 
ened. When  the  Book  of  Mormon  appeared  and  Rigdon  joined  in  the 
advocacy  of  the  new  religion,  the  suspicion  was  at  once  aroused  that 
he  was  one  of  the  framers  of  the  new  doctrine." 

Mrs.  A.  Dunlap,  of  Warren,  Ohio,  a  niece  of  Sidney 
Rigdon,  visited  her  uncle,  at  Bainbridge,  in  1826.  She 
says: 

"  My  uncle  went  into  his  bedroom  and  took  from  a  trunk  which 
he  kept  carefully  locked,  a  manuscript  and  came  back,  seated  himself 
by  the  fire  and  began  to  read.  His  wife  came  into  the  room  and  ex- 
claimed:  '  What,  are  you  studying  that  thing  again  ?  I  mean  to  bum 
that  paper.'  Rigdon  replied  :  '  No,  indeed  you  will  not.  THIS  WILL 
BE  A  GREAT  THING  SOME  DAY.'  When  he  was  reading  this  MS.  he 
was  so  completely  occupied  that  he  seemed  entirely  unconscious  of 
anything  around  him." 

Rigdon  was  on  terms  of  intimate  association  with  one 
J.  Harrison  Lambdin,  printer,  Patterson's  partner  and 
active  business  manager,  as  well  as  with  Silas  Engles,  the 
long-time  foreman  of  Patterson's  printing  establishment 
in  Pittsburg.  This  comes  from  Mrs.  R.  J.  Eichbaum, 
who  with  her  husband  and  father  had  the  Pittsburg 
postoffice  for  over  thirty  years.  Spaulding,  while  living  in 
Pittsburg,  had  prepared  a  copy  of  his  "Manuscript 
Found,"  for  the  printer,  which  he  strongly  suspected 
Rigdon  of  having  appropriated.  Mrs.  Eichbaum  has 
often  heard  foreman  Engles  say  that  Rigdon  was  forever 
hanging  round  the  printing  office.  Lambdin  died  in 
1825  and  Engles  in  1827.  "  Dead  men  tell  no  tales." 


V. 

THE  ARMY   OF    ZION. 


In  obedience  to  direct  revelation,  Joseph  had  located 
Zion  in  Jackson  County,  Missouri.  August  3,  1831,  he 
located  the  Temple  of  Zion,  three  hundred  yards  west  of 
the  Court  House,  in  Independence,  Missouri.  But  the 
"  House  of  Israel  "  did  not  behave  in  Missouri  in  a  pop- 


244  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Sidelights. 

ular  and  acceptable  way.  The  Mormons  had  to  leave  the 
new  Zion,  and  October  30,  1833,  there  had  even  been  a 
fight  between  the  Mormons  and  "mine  enemies."  The 
Mormons  killed  two  Missourians  and  shed  the  first  blood 
in  the  war. 

The  Commander-in-chief  of  the  armies  of  Israel 
could  not  remain  a  quiet,  remote  observer  of  so  much 
wrong.  Zion  had  to  be  redeemed.  The  ."  Lord  "  says 
through  his  mouthpiece : 

"  Therefore  get  ye  straightway  unto  MY  LA.ND  ;  break  down  the 
walls  of  mine  enemies;  throw  down  their  tower  and  scatter  their 
watchmen  ;  and  inasmuch  as  they  gather  together  against  you,  AVENGE 
ME  OF  MINE  ENEMIES,  that  by  and  by  I  may  come  with  the  residue  of 
my  house  and  POSSESS  THE  LAND." 

The  preparations  for  "mine"  war  consisted  mainly 
in  gathering  all  the  cash  Joe  could  lay  his  hands  on  : 
"Let  all  the  churches  gather  together  all  their  monies." 
The  expedition  to  Missouri  will  live  in  history  as  a  paral- 
lel to  the  immortal  enterprise  of  the  ingenious  "  Hidalgo 
de  La  Mancha."  Joe  started  on  his  fool's  crusade  early 
in  1834.  One  of  his  "sharp-shooters"  may  give  us  the 
history  of  the  expedition  : 

"  Old  muskets,  rifles,  piStols,  rusty  swords  and  butcher 
knives  were  soon  put  in  a  state  of  repair,  and  scoured  up. 
Some  were  borrowed,  and  some  were  bought,  on  a  credit, 
if  possible,  and  others  were  manufactured  by  their  own 
mechanics.  The  first  of  May  following  being  finally 
fixed  upon  as  the  time  of  setting  out  on  the  crusade, 
'my  warriors,'  which  were  scattered  in  most  of  the 
eastern  and  northern  states  previous  to  that  time,  began 
to  assemble  at  'the  quarters  ot  the  prophet  in  Kirtland 
preparatory  to  marching.  Several  places  further  west 
were  also  selected  for  rendezvous  to  those  living  in  that 
direction.  All  the  faithful  pressed  forward ;  but  the 
services  of  some  were  refused  by  the  prophet,  in  conse- 
quence of  their  not  being  able,  from  their  own  resources, 
to  furnish  some  instrument  of  death,  and  FIVE  DOLLARS  IN 

CASH. 

"On  the  second  day  of  their  march  they  arrived  at 
New  Portage,  about  forty  miles  distant,  where  about  one 


General  Joe  Pockets  the  Cash.  245 

hundred  more  fell  into  their  ranks.  Here  the  whole  were 
organized  in  bands  of  fourteen  men,  each  band  having  a 
captain,  baggage  wagon,  tents,  etc.  Just  before  leaving 
•  this  place, -Smith  proposed  to  his  army  that  they  should 
appoint  a  TREASURER  to  take  possession  of  the  funds  of 
each  individual,  for  the  purpose  of  paying  it  out  as  he 
should  think  their  necessities  required.  The  measure  was 
carried  without  a  dissenting  voice.  The  prophet  was  nom- 
inated and  voted  in  as  treasurer,  no  one,  of  course,  doubt- 
ing his  right.  After  pocketing  the  cash  of  his  dupes,  the 
line  of  march  was  resumed,  and  a  white  flag  was  raised, 
bearing  upon  it  the  inscription  of  "PEACE,"  written  in 
red. 

' '  Somewhere  on  their  route  a  large  black  snake  was 
discovered  near  the  road,  over  five  feet  in  length.  This 
offered  a  fair  opportunity  for  some  of  the  company  to  try 
their  skill  at  miracles,  and  MARTIN  HARRIS  took  off  his 
shoes  and  stockings,  to  '  take  up  serpents  '  without  being 
harmed.  He  presented  his  toes  to  the  head  of  the  snake, 
which  made  no  attempt  to  bite,  upon  which  Martin  pro- 
claimed a  victory  over  serpents;  but  passing  on  a  few  rods 
further  another  of  much  larger  dimensions  was  discovered, 
and  on  presenting  his  bare  foot  to  this  one  also,  he  received 
a  -bite  in  the  ankle  which  drew  blood.  This  was  imputed 
to  his  want  of  faith,  and  produced  much  merriment  in  the 
company. 

"  A  large  mound  was  one  day  discovered,  upon  which 
General  Smith  ordered  an  excavation"  to  be  made  into  it, 
and  about  one  foot  from  the  top  of  the  ground  the  bones 
of  a  human  skeleton  were  found,  which  were  carefully  laid 
out  upon  a  board,  when  Smith  made  a  speech,  prophecy- 
ing  or  declaring  that  they  were  the  remains  of  a  celebrated 
general  among  the  NEPHITES,  mentioning  his  name  and 
the  battle  in  which  he  was  slain,  some  fifteen  hundred 
years  ago.  This  was  undoubtedly  done  to  encourage  the 
troops  to  deeds  of  daring,  when  they  should  meet  the  Mis- 
sourians  in  battle  array." 

Joe  relates  this  most  wonderful  event  in  his  usual  sim- 
ple and  truthful  way.  The  relation  is  in  his  journal  of 
June,  1834,  when  he  and  his  army  are  at  the  Illinois  river: 


246  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Sidelights. 

"  The  contemplation  of  the  scenery,"  writes  Joseph,  "produced 
peculiar  sensations  in  our  bosoms.  The  brethren  procured  a  shovel 
and  a  hoe,  and  removing  the  earth  of  one  of  the  mounds,  to  the  depth 
of  about  a  foot,  discovered  the  skeleton  of  a  man  almost  entire,  and 
between  his  ribs  was  a  LAMANITISH  ARROW,  which  evidently  procured  " 
his  death.  Elder  Brigham  Young  retained  the  arrow.  .  .  .  And  the 
visions  of  the  past  being  opened  to  my  understanding,  by  the  Spirit  of 
the  Almighty,  I  DISCOVERED  that  the' person,  whose  skeleton  was  before 
us,  was  a  WHITE  Lamanite,  a  large  thick-set  man,  and  a  man  of  God. 
[John  D.  Lee  was  not  very  large,  though  thick-set  and  a  man  of  God.] 
He  was  a  warrior  and  chieftain  under  the  great  prophet  Omandagus, 
who  was  known  from  the  hill  Cumorah,  or  Eastern  Sea,  to  the  Rocky 
Mountains.  His  name  was  ZELPH.  The  curse  was  taken  from  him, 
or,  at  least,  in  part.  One  of  his  thigh  bones  was  broken  by  a  stone 
flung  from  a  sling  while  in  battle  years  before  his  death.  He  was 
killed  in  battle  by  the  arrow  found  in  his  ribs,  during  the  last  great 
struggle  of  the  Lamanites  and  Nephrites."  * 

But   let  our  sharp-shooter  go  on  with  his  tale  : 

"On  arriving  at  Salt  Creek,  Illinois,  they  were  joined  by 
Lymari  Wight  and  Hyrum  Smith  with  a  reinforcement  of 
twenty  men,  which  they  had  picked  up  on  the  way.  Here 
the  grand  army,  being  fully  completed,  encamped  for  the 
space  of  three  days.  The  whole  number  was  now  estimat- 
ed at  two  hundred  and  twenty,  rank  and  file.  During 
their  stay  here  the  troops  were  kept  under  a  constant  drill 
of  manual  exercise  with  guns  and  swords,  and  their  arms 
put  in  a  state  of  repair.  The  prophet  became  very  expert 
with  a  sword  and  felt  himself  equal  to  his  prototype,  Cori- 
antumr." 

If  there  is  any  better  historic  parallel  to  Don  Quixote, 
I  wish  I  could  see  it,  but  I  think  there  is  none  half  so 
good. 

"Joseph  had  the  best  sword  in  the  army,  an  elegant 
brace  of  pistols,  which  were  purchased  on  a  credit  of  six 
months,  a  rifle,  and  four  horses.  Wight  was  appointed 
second  in  command,  or  fighting  general,  who,  together 
with  the  prophet,  had  an  ARMOR-BEARER  appointed, 
selected  from  among  the  most  expert  tacticians,  whose 
duty  it  was  to  be  in  constant  attendance  upon  their 
masters  with  their  arms." 

*  Which  came  off  (I  must  remind  thee,  Joseph)  not  in  Illinois,  but 
around  the  sacred  hill  "  Cumorah,"  way  back  in  New  York. 


The  General  in  the  Baggage  Wagons.  247 

Joe's  armor-bearer  was  Geo.  A.  Smith,  then  a  bud  of 
a  beastly  fanatic,  destined  to  become  the  Thackeray  of 
Mormonism  and  Brigham's  destroying  angel  in  1857. 

"  The  generals  then  appointed  a  new  captain  to  each 
band,  organized  two  companies  of  rangers,  or  sharp- 
shooters, to  act  as  scouts  or  flankers  when  the-)fc  should 
arrive  upon  the  field  of  carnage.  After  this  they  dubbed 
themselves  the  "ARMY  OF  ZION,"  and  Hyrum  Smith  was 
chosen  to  carry  the  flag,  which  he  kept  unfurled  during 
the  remainder  of  the  march. 

"  The  march  of  the  grand  army  was  then  resumed  for 
two  or  three  days,  when  it  was  agreed  to  spend  half  a  day 
in  a  sham  fight.  For  this  purpose  four  divisions  were 
formed  and  took  position  and  went  to  work,  agreeably  to 
the  most  approved  forms  of  Bonaparte,  Black  Hawk, 
Coriantumr  or  Shiz.  After  coming  to  close  quarters, 
however,  all  discipline  was  lost  sight  of  and  each  one 
adopted  a  mode  agreeable  to  his  taste.  Some  preferred 
the  real  British  push  with  the  bayonet,  some  the  old 
Kentucky  dodging  from  tree  to  tree,  while  others  preferred 
the  Lamanite  mode  of  tomahawking,  scalping,  and  rip- 
ping open  the  bowels.  The  final  result  was  that  several 
guns  and  swords  were  broken,  some  of  the  combatants 
wounded,  and  each  one  well  pleased  with  his  own  ex- 
ploits. 

"After1  crossing  the  Mississippi,  spies  on  horseback 
were  kept  constantly  on  the  lookout,  several  miles  in  front 
and  rear.  The  prophet  went  IN  DISGUISE,  changing  his 
dress  frequently,  riding  on  the  different  baggage  wagons, 
and,  to  all  appearance,  expecting  every  moment  to  be  his 
last.  Near  the  close  of  one  day  they  approached  a 
prairie,  which  was  thirty  miles  in  extent,  without  inhabi- 
tants. Here  an  altercation  took  place  between  the  two 
generals,  which  almost  amounted  to  a  mutiny.  The 
prophet  declared  it  was  not  safe  to  stay  there  over  night, 
as  the  enemy  would  probably  be  upon  them.  General 
Wight  totally  refused  to  enter  the  prairie,  as  they  would 
not  be  able  to  find  water,  or  to  build  a  fire  to  cook  their 
provisions,  besides  the  great  fatigue  it  would  cause  the 
troops.  Smith  said  he  would  show  them  how  to  eat  raw 


248  Mormon  Portraits. — /.   Sidelights. 

pork.  Hyrum  said  he  knew,  by  the  Spirit,  that  it  was 
dangerous  to  stay  there.  The  prophet  finally  exclaimed : 
'  Thus  saith  the  Lord  God,  march  on  !  '  This  settled  the 
matter,  and  they  all  moved  on  about  fifteen  miles,  and 
thinking  themselves  out  of  danger,  they  encamped  beside 
a  muddy  pool.  Here  the  controversy  was  again  renewed 
between  the  two  generals.  Smith  said  '  he  knew  exactly 
when  to  pray,  when  to  sing,  when  to  talk,  and  when  to 
laugh,  by  the  spirit  of  God',  that  God  never  commanded 
anyone  to  pray  for  his  enemies.'  The  whole  camp  seemed 
much  dissatisfied  and  came  nigh  breaking  out  into  open 
mutiny." 

What  a  pity  that  Offenbach  is  dead  !  Was  there  ever 
a  better  libretto  just  made  for  his  ever-ready,  bubbling 
melodies !  Would  he  not  have  been  happy  to  swap  his 
"  General  Bum"  for  the  three  generals,  Joe,  Hyrum  and 
Wight  ? 

"The  prophet  had,  besides  his  other  weapons,  a  large 
bull-dog,  which  was  exceedingly  cross  during  the  nights 
and  frequently  attempted  to  bite  persons  stirring  about. 
One  of  the  captains,  a  high  priest,  one  evening  declared  to 
the  prophet  that  he  would  shoot  the  dog,  if  he  ever  at- 
tempted to  bite  him.  Smith  replied,  '  that  if  he  contin- 
ued in  the  same  spirit,  and  did  not  repent,  the  dog  would 
yet  eat  the  flesh  off  his  bones,  and  he  would  not  have  the 
power  to  resist.'  This  was  the  commencement  of  a  con- 
troversy between  the  prophet  and  his  high  priest,  which 
was  not  settled  till  some  time  after  their  return  to  Kirt- 
land,  when  the  former  [Joseph]  underwent  a  trial  on 
divers  serious  charges  before  his  high  priests,  honorably 
acquitted,  and  the  latter  made  to  acknowledge  that  he 
had  been  possessed  of  SEVERAL  DEVILS  for  many  weeks. 
The  dog,  however,  a  few  nights  after  the  controversy 
commenced,  was  shot  through  the  leg  by  a  sentinel,  near 
the  prophet's  tent,  and  died  instantly. 

"  When  within  twelve  miles  of  Liberty,  Clay  County, 
Missouri,  the  army  of  Zion  was  met  by  two  gentlemen 
who  had  been  deputed  by  the  citizens  of  another  county 
for  the  purpose  of  inquiring  into  the  motive  and  pbject  of 
such  a  hostile  and  warlike  appearance  upon  their  borders. 


A  Revelation  in  the  Nick  of  Time.  249 

These  gentlemen  openly  warned  the  military  band  .and 
their  prophet  to  desist  from  their  intended  operations  and 
leave  the  settlement  of  their  difficulties  with  the  people 
of  Jackson  County,  in  other  hands ;  advised  them  to  be 
very  careful  what  they  did  and  said,  as  the  citizens  not 
only  of  Jackson  but  some  of  the  adjaceu-t  counties  were 
very  much  enraged  and  excited  and  were  fully  determined 
to  resist  the  first  attempt  upon  them  by  an  armed  force 
from  other  States.  A  FEW  HOURS  after  this  the  prophet 
brought  out  a  REVELATION  for  the  use  of  his  troops,  which 
said,  in  substance,  that  they  had  been  TRIED,  even  as 
Abraham  had  been  tried,  and  the  offering  was  accepted 
by  the  Lord  ;  and  when  Abraham  received  his  reward 
they  would  receive  theirs.  Upon  this  the  war  was  de- 
•clared  to  be  at  an  end.  A  call  for  volunteers,  however, 
was  made,  to  take  up  their  abode  in  Clay  County,  when 
about  one  hundred  and  fifty  turned  out.  The  next  day 
they  marched  to  Liberty  and  each  man  received  an  hon- 
orable discharge  under  the  signature  of  General  Wight. 
The  army  then  scattered  in  different  directions,  some 
making  their  way  back  from  whence  they  came  the  best 
way  they  could,  begging  their  expenses  from  the  inhabi- 
tants. The  prophet  and  his  chief  men,  however,  had 
PLENTY  OF  MONEY  and  traveled  as  GENTLEMEN." 


VI. 

AFFIDAVITS  OF  FANNY  BREWER  AND  OTHERS. 


The  following  documents  help  to  illustrate  the  charac- 
ters of  Joe,  Hyrum  and  William  Smith,  Brigham  Young, 
and  other  leading  Saints  : 

FANNY  BREWER  states  (Boston,  Sept.  13,  1842):— 

"  In  the  spring  of  1837  I  left  Boston  for  Kirtland  to  assemble  with 
the  Saints  and  worship  God  more  perfectly.  On  my  arrival  I  found 
brother  going  to  law  with  brother,  DRUNKENNESS  prevailing  to  a  great 
extent  and  every  species  of  wickedness.  The  prophet  of  God  was 


250  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Sidelights. 

under  arrest  for  employing  two  of  the  elders  to  KILL  a  man  of  the 
name  of  Grandison  Newell,  but  was  acquitted,  as  the  most  ifiaterial 
witness  did  not  appear !  I  am  personally  acquainted  with  one  of  the 
employees,  Davis  by  name,  and  he  frankly  acknowleged  to  me  that  he 
was  prepared  to  do  the  deed  under  the  direction  of  the  prophet,  and  was 
only  prevented  from  so  doing  by  the  entreaties  of  his  wife.  There 
was  much  excitement  against  the  prophet  on  another  account,  an 
unlawful  intercourse  between  himself  and  a  young  orphan  girl  residing 
in  his  family,  and  under  his  protection  !  Martin  Harris  told  me  that 
the  prophet  was  most  notorious  for  lying  and  licentiousness.  In  the 
fall  of  1837  the  Smith  family  all  left  Kirtlarid  ;  the  prophet  left  between 
two  days.  I  carried  from  this  place  (Boston)  to  Kirtland  goods  to  the 
amount  of  1,400  dollars,  as  I  was  told  I  could  make  ready  sales  to  the 
Saints,  but  I  was  disappointed.  I  accordingly  sent  them  to  Missouri 
to  be  sold  by  H.  Redfield.  There  they  were  stored  in  a  private  room. 
Smith,  the  prophet,  hearing  that  they  were  there,  took  out  a  warrant, 
under  pretence  of  searching  for  stolen  goods,  and  got  them  into  his  pos- 
session. They  were  then,  by  a  sham  court,  which  he  held,  adjudged 
to  him  and  the  boxes  were  opened.  As  the  goods  were  taken  out, 
piece  by  piece,  HYRUM  SMITH,  who  stood  by,  said,  in  the  most  posi- 
tive manner,  that  he  could  swear  to  every  piece  and  tell  where  they 
had  been  bought,  although  a  Mr.  Robbins,  who  was  present,  told  them 
that  he  knew  the  boxes  and  that  the  goods  were  mine,  for  I  had 
charged  him  to  take  care  of  them.  Dr.  Williams,  likewise,  told  them 
that  they  were  my  goods,  and  that  Hyrum  never  saw  a  piece  of  them. 
They,  however,  refused  to  give  them  up,  but  kept  them  for  their  own 
profit." 

G.  B.  FROST  (Boston,  Sept.  19,  1842) : — 

"In  July,  1837,  WILLIAM  SMITH,  brother  of  the  prophet  and  one 
of  the  Twelve  Apostles,  arrived  at  Kirtland  from  Chicago,  drunk,  with 
his  face  pretty  well  bunged  up ;  he  had  black  eyes  and  a  bunged  nose, 
and  told  John  Johnson  that  he  had  been  MILKING  THE  GENTILES  to 
his  satisfaction  for  that  time.*  In  October  William  told  Joseph  that  if 
he  did  not  give  him  some  money,  he  would  tell  where  the  Book  of 
Mormon  came  from,  and  Joseph  gave  him  what  he  wanted. 

"About  the  last  of  August,  1837,  Joseph  Smith,  Brigham  Young 
and  others  were  DRUNK  at  Joseph  Smith  the  prophet's  house,  all 
together ;  Bishop  Vinson  Knight  supplied  them  with  rum,  brandy,  gin 
and  port  wiae  from  the  (Mormon)  cash  store.  Joseph  told  Knight  in 
my  hearing  not  to  sell  any  of  those  liquors,  for  he  wanted  them  for  his 
own  use.  They  were  drunk  and  drinking  for  MORE  THAN  A  WEEK. 

"Joseph  Smith  said  that  the  BANK  was  got  up  on  his  having  a  rev- 
elation from  God,  and  said  it  was  to  go  into  circulation  to  MILK  THE 
GENTILES.  I  asked  Joseph  about  the  money.  He  he  said  could  not 

*  Most  probably  by  circulating  counterfeit  money. 


"Sealing"   a  By -word  on  the  Street.  251 

redeem  it ;  he  was  paid  for  signing  the  bills,  as  any  other  man  would 
be  paid  for  it — and  they  must  do  the  best  they  could  about  it.  The 
prophet  and  others  went  to  Canada  in  September.  Said  he,  Joseph, 
he  had  as  good  a  right  to  go  out  and  get  money  as  any  of  the  brethren. 
He  took  nine  hundred  dollars  in  Canada  from  a  certain  Lawrence  and 
promised  him  a  farm  in  Kirtland ;  but  when  he  arrived  there,  Joseph 
was  among  the  missing,  and  no  farm  for  him." 

D.  W.  AND  EDWARD  KILBOURN  : — 

"  Joseph  said  once  the  world  owed  him  a  good  living,  and  if  he 
could  not  get  it  without,  he  would  STEAL  it — "and  CATCH  ME  AT  IT," 
said  he,  "  if  you  can." 


VII. 

POLYGAMY  IN  KIRTLAND. 


In  the  article  on  marriage  in  the  Book  of  Doctrine 
and  Covenants  adopted  by  the  conference  in  Kirtland 
April,  1834,  we  read;  '/Inasmuch  as  this  Church  of 
Christ  has  been  charged  with  fornication  and  polygamy." 
We  have  already  seen  it  stated  that  young  Joseph  declar- 
ed that  adultery  was  no  sin.  Martin  Harris  told  J.  M. 
Atwater  and  Mr.  Clapp  and  many  others,  that  POLYGAMY 
was  TAUGHT  AND  PRACTICED  by  Smith  in  Kirtland  under 
the  name  of  "spiritual  wifery."  W.  W.  Phelps  stated 
that  Smith  while  "translating"  the  Book  of  Abraham 
declared  that  polygamy  would  yet  be  a  practice  of  the 
faith.  Martin  Harris  told  J.  M.  Atwater  that  the  doc- 
trine of  spiritual  wifery  was  first  positively  announced  as  a 
revelation  by  RIGDON,  before  a  meeting  of  the  officials  of 
the  church,  in  an  old  building  that  used  to  stand  south- 
west of  the  Kirtland  Temple.  W.  S.  Smith  and  others 
testify  that  the  practice  of  sealing  women  to  men  was  so 
much  talked  of  in  Kirtland,  that  it  became  a  by-word  on 
the  street ;  and  that  common  report  said  that  a  bitter 
quarrel  between  Rigdon  and  Smith  shortly  before  they 
left  Kirtland  was  because  Smith  wanted  to  have  Nancy 
Rigdon,  then  a  girl  of  sixteen,  sealed  to  him.  Smith  con- 


252  Monnon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

fesses  himself  that  all  classes  of  persons  asked  him  daily 
and  hourly,  while  he  was  journeying  between  Kirtland 
and  Far  West,  "  Do  Mormons  believe  in  having  more 
wives  than  one?"  All  this  accords  perfectly  with  the 
statement  of  Apostle  Orson.  Pratt  that  the  principle 
was  made  known  to  the  Prophet  as  early  as  1831. 


VIII. 

DR.   ISAAC  GALLAND. 


"  I  the  Lord  lovcth  him  for  the  works  he  has  done," 
says  the  revelation  of  January  19,  1841,  of  the  horse-steal- 
ing doctor.  Messrs.  D.  W.  and  Edward  Kilbourn  give 
an  interesting  sketch  of  the  doctor's  doings  in  the  Hawk- 
£ye  and  Patriot  of  October  7,  1841.  After  having  de- 
scribed the  confused  state  of  things  on  the  tract  of  land 
reserved  in  1824  by  treaty  for  the  use  of  the  "Half 
Breeds  of  the  Sac  and  Fox  Nation  of  Indians,"  they  con- 
tinue : 

"  The  ingenuity  of  Dr.  Galland,  however,  found  in  this  state  of 
things  a  fine  field  for  the  exercise  of  his  peculiar  talents,  and  in  the 
year  1839  he  matured  the  plan  of  a  stupendous  fraud.  He  wrote  to 
Joe  Smith,  then  in  prison  on  charges  of  high  treason,  arson,  etc., — 
inviting  him  to  purchase  his  land  at  Commerce  [Nauvoo],  forty-seven 
acres.  Smith  after  making  his  escape  complied,  and  brought  on  his 
half-starved  followers.  Doctor  G.  then  commenced  selling  Half- 
Breed  lands,  giving  therefor  warranty  deeds,  which,  of  course,  could 
convey  no  title  while  the  lands  remained  undivided.  He  at  first  as- 
serted that  he  was  the  owner  of  seven-tenths  of  the  tract  [119,000 
acres]  and  finally  claimed  to  be  the  sole  proprietor.  That  he  might 
the  more  successfully  carry  out  the  scheme  of  swindling  thus  com- 
menced, he  attached  himself  to  the  Mormon  church,  became  a  con- 
fidant of  Joe  Smith,  and  in  order  to  dupe  persons  daily  arriving 
among  them,  he  deeded  to  Mormon  bishops  and  prophets  thousands 
and  tens  of  thousands  of  acres  of  the  reservation  alluded  to,  and 
they  are  daily  deeding  by  warranty  deeds  the  lands  thus  acquired  and 
receiving  therefor  a  valuable  consideration.  By  a  recent  judicial  de- 
cision it  is  ascertained  that  the  interest  to  which  this  man  Galland  is 
entitled  is  but  a  small,  undefined,  undivided  portion  of  the  reservation. 


Niceties  of  Laiv  be  Durned,  253 

With  a  full  knowledge  of  all  the  facts  stated,  he  is  sent  out  with  a 
*  Proclamation  to  the  Saints  abroad,'  signed  by  Joseph  Smith,  Sidney 
Rigdon  and  Hyrum  Smith,  in  which  it  is  said  that  'he  (Galland)  is 
the  honored  instrument  the  Lord  used  to  prepare  a  home  for  us  when 
we  were  driven  from  our  inheritance,  having  given  him  control  of 
vast  bodies  of  land  and  prepared  his  heart  to  make  the  use  of  it  the 
Lord  intended  he  should.' 

"  Many  instances  might  be  mentioned  of  individuals  in  the  east, 
who  have  exchanged  with  the  <  agents  of  the  church '  their  valuable 
possessions  for  these  worthless  land  titles,  and  there  are  cases-  of  suf- 
fering, of  families  reduced  to  beggary,  by  these  villains.  When  it  is 
known  that  one  of  the  prophets  acts  in  the  absence  of  Galland  as  his 
agent  for  the  sale  of  these  lands,  what  further  evidence,  we  ask,  is 
wanted  of  the  baseness  and  rascality  of  himself  and  his  confed- 
erates? " 

Galland  died,  a  pauper,  in  Iowa. 


IX. 

•  SETTING  UP  THE  KINGDOM. 


On  the  little  town-site  of  Montrose,  Iowa,  Joe  Smith, 
"  agent  of  Doctor  Galland,"  resolved  to  erect  his  City  of 
Zarahemla.  Messrs.  Kilbourn  give  a  lively  account  of 
this  bit  of  prophetic  sharp  practice : 

"  Early  one  morning  in  March,  1841,  the  quiet  citizens  of  Mont- 
rose  were  surprised  by  a  visit  from  some  of  Joe.  Smith's  scullions 
from  Nauvoo,  headed  by  Alanson  Ripley,  a  Mormon  bishop,  who  says 
that  as  to  the  technical  niceties  of  the  law  of  the  land  he  does  not  intend 
to  regard  them;  that  the  kingdom  spoken  of  by  the  prophet  Daniel  has 
been  set  up  and  that  it  is  necessary  every  kingdom  should  be  governed 
by  its  own  laws.  With  compass  and  chain  they  strided  through  gates 
and  over  fences  to  the  very  doors  of  the  Gentiles  and  drove  the  stakes 
for  the  lots  of  a  city  which,  in  extent  at  least — four  miles  square, — 
should  vie  with  some  of  the  largest  cities  of  the  world.  They  heeded 
not  enclosures ;  why  should  they  ?  Is  not  the  earth  the  Lord's  and 
the  fulness  thereof  ?  And  shall  not  his  «  Saints '  inherit  and  possess 
it  forever  ?  The  kingdom  spoken  of  by  the  prophet  Daniel  having 
een  set  up,  its  '  laws  '  authorized  this  Mormon  bishop  to  threaten 
personal  violence  to  one  of  the  undersigned  for  removing  a  stake 
which  had  been  driven  within  the  bounds  of  his  enclosure.  A  few 
days  subsequently  it  was  ascertained  that  the  exterior  line  of  this 


254  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

1  four  mile '  town  had  been  run  by  order  of  Joe  Smith  and  a  plot  of 
it  made  and  recorded,  to  which  he  gave  the  name  of  Zarahemla. 
Having  sold  to  his  dupes  a  large  portion  of  the  Half  Breed  tract,  a 
happy  thought  strikes  him  that  they  can  yet  be  bled ;  he  ordered 
them  by  revelation  to  leave  their  fine  farms  and  move  into  the  '  city,' 
sells  them  lots  and  conveys  them  by  deeds. 

"  On  the  6th  of  April,  at  a  conference  held  in  Nauvoo,  a  Mormon 
leader  publicly  read  a  revelation*  that  the  City  of  Zarahemla  should 
be  laid  out  and  built  by  the  Latter  Day  Saints.  Joe  Smith  then 
stated  that  '  in  accordance  with  this  revelation '  a  city  had  been  sur- 
veyed and  the  Saints  desirous  of  purchasing  lots  could  now  do  so. 
*  The  people  over  there,'  said  he,  '  are  very  much  opposed  to  it,  but 
they  must  know  —  if  they  know  anything  —  that  it  would  be  for  their 
interest  to  have  5,000  inhabitants  come  in  with  back-loads  of  money. 
Why,  I  sometimes  think  they  don't  know  beans  when  the  bag  is  open; 
they  needn't  be  scared;  we  don't  want  their  improvements  without 
paying  for  them ;  we  expect  to  pay  them  a  good  price  for  their  possess- 
ions, and  if  that  don't  satisfy  them,  we'll  have  them  anyhow" 


X. 

ROCKWELL   AND    GOVERNOR   BOGGS. 


The  reader  remembers  the  statement  of  Mrs.  Pratt, 
which  proves  conclusively  that  Joseph,  with  the  complic- 
ity of  Dr.  John  C.  Bennett,  gave  orders  for  the  assassin- 
ation of  Governor  Boggs.  He  sent  Danite  O.  Porter 
Rockwell  "  to  fulfill  prophecy,"  and  the  prophecy  came 
very  near  being  fulfilled  on  May  6,  1842.  Boggs  received 
a  terrible  wound  in  the  head,  and  I  am  informed  that, 
though  cured  for  the  time,  he  died  a  number  of  years 
after  from  the  effects  of  the  very  same  wound. 

On  June  23  I  had  an  interview  with  the  only  man 
Brigham  Young  seems  to  have  ever  really  feared,  General 

*  "  Verily,  thus  saith  the  Lord,  let  [all  My  Saints]  gather  them- 
selves together  unto  the  places  which  I  shall  appoint  unto  them  by 
my  prophet  Joseph  and  build  up  cities  unto  my  name,  Let  them 
build  up  a  city  unto  my  name  upon  the  land  opposite  to  the  city  of 
Nauvoo  and  let  the  name  of  Zarahemla  be  named  upon  it. — [Doc- 
trine and  Covenants  y  1886,  p.  447.] 


Elder  Rockwell  is  D d  Sorry.  255 

Connor.  To  name  the  old  soldier  is  to  name  honesty  and 
kindness,  as  everybody  knows.  By  a  remarkable  turn  of 
affairs  he  became  the  patron  of  Brigham' s  professional 
murderers,  Bill  Hickman  and  O.  P.  Rockwell.  All 
things  considered,  the  church  hyenas  found  it  safer  to 
serve  an  honest  man  in  doing  his  useful  and  harmless  bus- 
iness, and  getting  well  paid  for  it,  instead  of  robbing  and 
murdering  for  the  prophet  of  the  Lord  at  their  own  dan- 
ger and  expense.  "Bill  Hickman,"  says  General  Con- 
nor," "told  me  half  an  hour  after  it  occurred,  that 
Brigham  had  promised  him  a  thousand  dollars  if  he 
would  send  a  ball  through  my  brain  and  lay  the  murder 
to  the  Indians.  I  don't  believe  that  those  men  were 
butchers  by  nature :  they  were  fanatics  in  their  belief 
that  they  could  not  be  saved  if  th^y  would  not  obey  any 
order  of  the  prophet,  right  or  wrong.  As  to  Rockwell, 
he  considered  me  his  only  friend  in  the  last  years  of  his 
life,  and  wrote  to  me,  while  I  was  in  California,  that  I 
should  come  and  help  him  in  a  law-suit.  I  employed 
him  during  one  winter  to  guard  my  stock.  He  discharged 
this  task  with  scrupulous  honesty.  He  used,  like  Hick- 
man, to  tell  me  many  of  the  horrible  deeds  he  had  com- 
mitted for  the  church.  Among  other  things  he  told  me 
once  that  HE  HAD  SHOT  BOGGS.  '  I  shot  through  the  win- 
dow, said  he,  'and  thought  I  had  killed  him,  but  I  had 
only  wounded  him  ;  /  was  damned  sorry  that  I  had  not 
killed  the  son  of  a  b —  /  '  ! 


XL 

MARTHA  BROTHERTON'S  AFFIDAVIT. 


This  is  my  pearl.  It  shows  the  works  of  Abraham  in 
all  their  glory.  It  proves  absolutely  the  statements  made 
by  Bennett,  the  Expositor,  and  my  witnesses.  It  shows 
the  reprobateness  of  the  lackeys,  Brigham  and  Kimball, 
who  never  did  anything  afterward  in  Utah  but  put  in 


256  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

practice  what  they  had  learnt  in  the  school  of  Mine  An- 
ointed. That  little  room,  with  "POSITIVELY  NO  ADMIT- 
TANCE" is  a  pearl  of  peculiar  lustre  in  Mormon  history. 
An  old  lady  told  me,  only  a  few  days  ago,  that  a  plural 
wife  of  William  Clayton,  whom  she  used  to  visit  often,  said 
to  her  that  Joseph  was  wont  to  spend  a  great  deal  of  his  val- 
uable time  in  this  skeleton-closet  of  his  amours.  The  Clay- 
tons kept  a  sharp  lookout  for  Emma,  the  dreaded  legal 
wife,  who  used  to  hunt  "  Brother  Joseph  "  all  over  town. 
Whenever  she  approached  the  "brick  store"  the  Clay  tons 
warned  the  prophet  by  a  certain  signal.  He  would  then 
hurry  down  stairs,  fix  up  before  the  mirror,  and  be  dis- 
covered in  animated  conversation  with  some  member  of 
the  Clayton  family  when  Emma  entered. 

John  Taylor  was  one  of  the  many  who  entered  the  little 
sealing  office  for  the  holiest  of  purposes.  Said  a  perfectly 
reliable  witness,  a  lady,  to  me  :  "A  Mrs.  Ann  Dawson 
went  to  Nauvoo  from  Preston,  Lancashire,  England;  she 
came  with  her  whole  family;  one  of  her  daughters,  Mary, 
got  an  invitation  for  "  a  special  meeting.  "  They  brought 
her  to  that  little  sealing  office;  Joseph  was  there  and  told 
her  that  it  was  the  Lord's  will  concerning  her  that  she 
should  be  sealed  to  Brother  John  Taylor  without  delay  as 
his  celestial  wife;  she  refused.  They  (Joseph  and  Tay- 
lor )  bolted  the  door,  and  wanted  to  force  things,  but  she 
managed  to  get  away  from  them.  This  event  caused  the 
whole  Dawson  family  to  apostatize  and  to  leave  Nauvoo.  " 
Mrs.  Dawson  had  seven  children  when  she  came  to  Nauvoo. 
The  story  was  told  my  witness  by  Mrs.  Elizabeth  Cottom, 
the  sister  of  the  intended  celestial  victim.  But  no,  there 
is  not  any  such  thing  practiced  here,  Mr.  Taylor,  eh? 
Now  let  us  hear  the  brave  English  girl,  Martha  Broth- 
erton  : 

ST.  Louis,  Mo.,  July  13,  1842. 

"I  had  been  in  Nauvoo  near  three  weeks,  during  which 
time  my  father's  family  received  frequent  visits  from 
Apostles  BRIGHAM  YOUNG  and  HEBER  C.  KIMBALL,  when, 
early  one  morning,  they  both  came  to  my  brother-in-lawr's, 
where  I  was  on  a  visit,  and  particularly  requested  me  to  go 
and  spend  a  few  days  with  them.  I  told  them  I  could 


The  Mysteries  of  the  Kingdom.  257 

not  at  that  time ;  however  they  urged  me  to  go  the  next 
day  and  spend  one  day  with  them.     The  day  being  fine  I 
accordingly  went.     When  I  arrived  at  the  foot  of  the  hill, 
Young  and   Kimball  were  standing  conversing  together. 
They  both  came  to  me  and  after  several  flattering  compli- 
ments, Kimball  wished  me   to  go   to   his  house  first.     I 
went.     Brigham  went  away  on  some  errand  and  Kimball 
now  turned  to  me  and  said  :    "  Martha,  I  want  you  to  say 
to  my  wife,  when  you  go  to  my  house,  that  you  want  to 
buy  some  things  at  Joseph's  store,  and  I  will  say  I  am 
going  with   you,  to  show  you  the  way.     You  know  you 
want  to  see  the  prophet  and  you  will  then  have  an  oppor- 
tunity."    I  made   no   reply.     I    remained    at    Kimball's 
near  an  hour,  when  Kimball,  seeing  that  I  would  not  tell 
the  lies  he  wished  me  to,  told  them  to  his  wife  himself. 
So  Kimball  and  I  went  to  the  store  together.     As  we  were 
going  along  he  said  :   "  Sister  Martha,  are  you  willing  to 
do  ALL  that  the  prophet  requires  you  to  do  ?  "     I  said  I 
believed  I  was,  thinking  of  course  he  would  require  noth- 
ing wrong.     "Then,"   said  he,  "are  you  ready  to  take 
counsel  ?  "     I  answered  yes,  thinking  of  the  great  and 
glorious  blessings   that  had  been   pronounced  upon  my 
head,  if  I  adhered  to  the  counsel  of  those  placed  over  me 
in  the  Lord.      "Well,"   said  he,   "there  are  many  things 
revealed  in  these  last  days  that  the  world  would  laugh  and 
scoff  at,  but  unto  us  is  given  to  know  the  MYSTERIES  OF 
THE   KINGDOM."     He   further  observed:     "Martha,    you 
must  learn  to  HOLD  YOUR  TONGUE  and  it  will  be  well  with 
you."     When  we  reached  the  building  he  led  me  up  some 
stairs  to  a  small  room,  the  door  of  which  was  locked  and 
on  it  the  inscription,    "  Positively  no  admittance."     He 
observed  :   "  Ah,  brother  Joseph  must  be  sick,  for,  strange 
to  say,  he  is  not  here.     Come  down  into  the  tithing  office, 
Martha."     He  then  left  me  in  the  tithing  office.     Brig- 
ham  Young  came  in  and  seated  himself  before  me  and 
asked  where  Kimball  was.     Soon  after  Joseph  came  in  and 
then  went  up  stairs,  followed  by  Young.     Now  Kimball 
came  in.      "Martha,"  said  he,    "the  prophet  has  come, 
come  up  stairs."     I  went  and  we  found  Brigham  and  the 
prophet  alone.    I  was  introduced  to  the  prophet  by  Brig- 


25^  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

ham.  Joseph  offered  me  his  seat  and,  to  my  astonish- 
ment, the  moment  I  was  seated  Joseph  and  Kimball 
walked  out  of  the  room  and  left  me  with  Brigham,  who 
arose,  locked  the  door,  closed  the  window ',  and  drew  the 
curtains.  He  then  sat  before  me  and  said:  "This  is 
OUR  PRIVATE  ROOM,  Martha."  "Indeed,  sir,"  said 


BRIGHAM  YOUNG. 

I,  "I  must  be  highly  honored  to  be  permitted  to 
enter  it."  He  smiled  and  then  proceeded:  "Sister 
Martha,  I  want  to  ask  you  a  few  questions — will  you  an- 
swer them?"  "Yes,  sir,"  said  I.  "And  will  you 
promise  not  to  mention  them  to  anyone?"  "If  it  is  your 
desire,  sir,"  said  I,  "  I  will  not."  "And  you  will  not 
think  any  the  worse  of  me  for  it,  will  you,  Martha?" 
said  he.  "  No,"  I  replied.  "  Well,"  said  he,  "  what  are 
your  feelings  towards  me  ?  "  I  replied  :  "  My  feelings  are 
just  the  same  towards  you  that  they  ever  were,  sir." 
"  But  to  come  to  the  point  more  closely,"  said  he,  "  have 
you  not  an  affection  for  me,  that,  were  it  lawful  and  right, 
you  could  accept  of  me  for  your  HUSBAND  and  compan- 


Brigham   Takes  a  Kiss  Anyhow.  259 

ion?  "  My  feelings  at  that  moment  were  indescribable. 
What,  thought  I,  are  these* men  that  I  thought  almost 
perfection  itself,  deceivers?  I  considered  it  best  to  ask 
for  time  to  think  and  pray  about  it.  I  therefore  said  : 
"If  it  was  lawful  and  right  perhaps  I  might,  but  you 
know,  sir,  it  is  not."  "Well,  but,"  said  he,  '"Brother 
Joseph  has  had  a  REVELATION  from  God  that  it  is  lawful 
and  right  for  a  man  to  have  TWO  WIVES;  for  as  it  was  in 
the  days  of  Abraham,  so  it  shall  be  in  these  last  days, 
and  whoever  is  the  first  that  is  willing  to  take  up  the 
CROSS  will  receive  the  greatest  blessings ;  and  if  you  will 
accept  of  me,  I  will  take  you  straight  to  the  celestial  king- 
dom, and  if  you  will  have  me  in  this  world,  I  will  have 
you  in  that  which  is  to  come,  and  brother  Joseph  will 
marry  us  here  to-day,  or  you  can  go  home  this  evening  and 
your  parents  will  not  know  anything  about  it. "  "  Sir, ' ' 
said  I,  "I  should  not  like  to  do  anything  of  the  kind 
without  the  permission  of  my  parents."  "  Well,  but," 
said  he,  "you  are  of •  age,  are  you  not?"  "No,  sir," 
said  I,  "  I  shall  not  be  until  the  24th  of  May."  "Well," 
said  he,  "  that  does  not  make  any  difference.  You  will 
be  of  age  before  they  know  and  you  need  not  fear.  If 
you  will  take  my  counsel  it  will  be  well  with  you,  and  if 
there  is  any  sin  in  it,  I  will  answer  for  it.  But  Brother 
Joseph  will  explain  things  —  will  you  hear  him?"  "  I  do 
not  mind,"  said  I.  "Well,  but  I  want  you  to  say  some- 
thing," said  he.  "I  want  time  to  think  about  it,"  said 
I.  "Well,"  said  he,  "  1 'will  have  a  kiss  anyhow"  He 
rose  and  said  he  would  bring  Joseph.  He  then  unlocked 
the  door  and  took  the  key  and  locked  me  up  alone.  He 
was  absent  about  ten  minutes  and  then  returned  with 
Joseph.  "Well,"  said  Brigham,  "Sister  Martha  would 
be  willing  if  she  knew  that  it  was  lawful  and  right 
before  God."  "Well,  Martha,"  said  Joseph,  it  is  lawful 
and  right  before  God  —  I  KNOW  it  is.  Look  here,  Sis; 
DON'T  YOU  BELEIVE  IN  ME?  "  I  did  not  answer.  "Well, 
Martha,"  said  Joseph,  "just  go  ahead  and  do  as  Brigham 
wants  you  to — he  is  the  best  man  in  the  world,  except 
me."  "  Well, "said  Brigham,  "  we  believe  Joseph  to  be  a 
drophet.  I  have  known  him  for  eight  years,  and  always 


260  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Sidelights. 

found  him  the  same."  "Yes,"  said  Joseph,  "I  know 
that  this  is  lawful  and  right ,  before  God,  and  if  there  is 
any  sin  in  it,  I  WILL  ANSWER  FOR  IT  BEFORE  GOD  ;  and  I 
have  the  keys  of  the  kingdom  and  whatever  I  bind  on 
earth  is  bound  in  Heaven  and  whatever  I  loose  on  earth 
is  loosed  in  Heaven  ;  and  if  you  will  accept  of  Brigham, 
you  shall  be  blessed ;  God  shall  bless  you  and  my  bless- 
ing shall  rest  upon  you ;  and  if  you  will  be  led  by  him, 
you  will  do  well :  for  I  know  Brigham  will  take  care  of 
you,  and  if  he  don't  do  his  duty  to  you,  come  to  me  and 
I  will  make  him ;  and  if  you  do  not  like  it  in  a  month  or 
two,  come  to  me  and  /  will  make  you  free  again,  and  if 
he  turns  you  off,  I  WILL  TAKE  YOU  ON."  "Sir,"  said  I, 
rather  warmly,  "  it  will  be  .too  late  to  think  in  a  month 
or  two  after.  I  want  time  to  think  first."  "Well,  but," 
said  he,  "  the  old  proverb  is :  '  nothing  ventured,  nothing 
gained ' — and  it  would  be  the  greatest  blessing  ever  be- 
stowed on  you.  What  are  you  afraid  of,  Sis.?  Come, 

LET    ME    DO    THE    BUSINESS    FOR    YOU,"     "Well,"     Said    I, 

"the  best  way  I  know  of,  is  to  go  home  and  think  and 
pray  about  it."  Brigham  said:  "I  shall  leave  it  with 
Brother  Joseph,  whether  it  would  be  best  for  you  to  have 
time  or  not."  Joseph:  "  I  see  no  harm  in  her  having 
time  to  think,  if  she  will  not  fall  into  temptation."  "  Oh, 
sir,"  said  I,  "there  is  no  fear  of  my  falling  into  tempta- 
tion." "Well,  but,"  said  Brigham,  "you  must  promise 
me  you  will  never  mention  it  to  anyone."  I  promised. 
Joseph  said:  "You  must  promise  me  the  same."  I  did. 
"Upon  your  honor,"  said  he,  "you  will  not  tell?" 
"No,  sir,"  said  I,  "I  will  lose  my  life  first."  "Well, 
that  will  do,"  said  he,  "that  is  the  principle  we  go  upon. 
I  think  I  can  trust  you,  Martha."  I  then  rose  to  go,  when 
Joseph  commenced  to  beg  of  me  again.  He  said  it  was 
the  best  opportunity  they  might  have  for  months,  for  THE 
ROOM  WAS  OFTEN  ENGAGED.  I,  however,  had  determined 
what  to  do.  The  next  day  I  sat  down  and  wrote  the 
conversation.  We  went  to  meeting.  Brigham  adminis- 
tered the  sacrament.  After  it  was  over,  Young  followed 
me  out  and  whispered  :  "  Have  you  made  up  your  mind, 
Martha?"  "  Not  exactly,  sir/'  said  I,  and  we  parted." 


Danites  Avard  and  P helps   Confess.  261 

XII. 

SUBSTANCE  OF  THE  EVIDENCE 


In  the  Trial  of  Joseph  Smith  and  Others  for  High  Trea- 
son Against  the  State  ;  Murder,  Burglary,  Arson.,  Rob- 
bery and  Larceny.  (November,  1838.) 


SAMPSON  AVARD  : — 

"  The  officers  of  the  Danite  band  were  brought  before  Joseph 
Smith,  together  with  Hyrum  Smith  and  Sidney  Rigdon.  Joseph  blessed 
thm  and  prophesied  over  them,  declaring  that  they  should  be  the  means 
in  the  hands  of  God,  ef  bringing  forth  the  millennial  kingdom.  Joseph 
said  that  those  who  revealed  the  secrets  of  the  Society  should  be  PUT 
TO  DEATH.  They  declared,  holding  up  their  right  hands :  "  In  the 
name  of  Jesus  Christ,  I  do  solemnly  obligate  myself  ever  to  conceal  and 
never  to  reveal  the  secret  purposes  of  this  society.  Should  I  ever  do 
the  same,  I  hold  my  life  as  the  forfeiture."  The  prophet  and  his 
councilors,  Hyrum  and  Sidney,  were  considered  as  the  supreme  head 
of  the  church,  and  the  Danite  band  felt  themselves  as  much  bound  to 
obey  them  as  to  obey  the  Supreme  God.  Instruction  was  given  by 
Joseph,  that  if  any  of  them  should  get  into  a  difficulty,  the  rest  should 
help  him  out  and  that  they  should  stand  by  each  other,  RIGHT  OR 
WRONG.  This  instruction  was  given  in  a  public  address." 

W.  W.  PHELPS:— 

"  Rigdon  said  in  a  public  meeting  that  they  meant  to  resist  the  law 
and  if  a  sheriff  came  after  them  with  writs,  they  would  kill  him,  and  if 
anybody  opposed  them  they  would  take  off  their  heads.  SMITH  AP- 
PROVED of  those  remarks.  On  another  occasion  Rigdon  administered 
for  forty  or  fifty  Mormons,  the  covenanters  taking  their  obligations  with 
uplifted  hands.  The  first  was,  that  if  any  man  attempted  to  move  out 
of  the  country,  or  pack  his  things  for  that  purpose,  any  of  the  cove- 
nanters seeing  it  should  kill  him  and  haul  him  aside  into  the  brush; 
and  all  the  burial  he  should  have  should  be  in  a  turkey  buzzard's  guts, 
so  that  nothing  should  be  left  of  him  but  his  bones.  The  next  cove- 
nant was,  that  if  any  person  from  the  surrounding  country  came  into 
their  town,  walking  about — no  odds  who  he  might  be — any  one  of 
those  covenanters  should  kill  him  and  throw  him  aside  into  the  brush. 
The  third  covenant  was,  "  Conceal  all  these  things."* 

*  Bravo,  old  Phelps  !  And  after  this  statement  you  went  back  to 
the  church  and  played  for  many  years  the  picturesque  part  of  Old 
Scratch  in  the  Endowment  House  ! 


262  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

G.  M.  HINKI.K: — 

"  I  have  heard  Joseph  say  that  he  believed  MAHOMET  was  a  good 
man ;  that  the  Koran  was  not  a  true  thing,  but  the  world  believed 
Mahomet,  as  they  had  believed  him  and  that  Mahomet  was  a  true 
prophet.  Joseph  made  a  speech  to  the  troops  in  which  he  said  that 
the  troops  which  were  gathering  through  the  country  were  a  damned 
mob.  That  he  had  tried  to  keep  the  law  long  enough.  That  the 
whole  State  was  a  mob  set  and  that  if  they  came  to  fight  him,  he 
would  play  hell  with  their  appre  carts!" 

JOHN  CORRILL  : — 

"Joseph  said  if  the  people  would  let  us  alone,  we  would  preach 
the  gospel  in  peace;  but  if  they  come  on  us  to  molest  us,  we  would 
establish  our  religion  by  the  sword  and  that  "he  would  become  to  this 
generation  a  SECOND  MAHOMET.  He  spoke  in  his  discourse  of  persons 
taking,  at  some  times,  what,  at  other  times,  it  would  be  wrong  to  take  ; 
and  gave,  as  an  example,  the  case  of  David  eating  the  shewbread  and 
also  of  the  Savior  and  His  Apostles  plucking  the  ears  of  corn  and 
eating,  as  they  passed  through  the  corn  field." 

JAMES  C.  OWENS  :  — 

"  I  heard  Joseph,  in  a  speech  to  the  Mormon  troops  say  that  he 
did  not  care  any  thing  about  the  coming  of  the  troops  nor  about  THE 
LAWS  and  that  he  did  not  intend  to  try  to  keep  the  laws,  or  please 
them  any  longer ;  that  they  were  a  damned  set,  and  God  should  damn 
them,  so  help  him  Jesus  Christ,  and  he  meant  to  go  his  own  course 
and  KILL  AND  DESTROY  and  told  the  men  to  fight  like  angels,  that 
heretofore  he  told  them  to  fight  like  devils,  but  now  he  told  them  to 
fight  like  angels,  that  angels  could  whip  devils.  He  said  that  they 
might  think  he  was  swearing,  but  that  God  Almighty  would  not  take 
notice  of  him  in  cursing  such  a  damned  set  as  they  were." 

REED  PECK  : — 

"  I  heard  Joseph  say  in  a  speech  in  reference  to  STEALING  that  in 
a  general  way  he  did  not  approve  of  it,  but  that  on  one  occasion  our 
Savior  and  His  deciples  stole  corn  in  going  through  the  corn  field, 
for  the  reason  that  they  could  not  otherwise  procure  anything  to  eat. 
He  told  an  anecdote  of  a  Dutchman's  potatoes  and  said  that  a  colonel 
was  quartered  near  a  Dutchman  from  whom  he  wished  to  purchase 
some  potatoes,  who  refused  to  sell  them.  The  officer  then  charged 
his  men  not  to  be  caught  stealing  the  Dutchman's  potatoes,  but  next 
morning  he  found  his  potatoes  all  dug-.  I  heard  Joseph  in  a  public 
address  say  that  he  had  a  reverence  for  the  Constitution  of  the  U.  S. 
and  of  this  state  (Missouri);  but,  as  for  the  laws  of  this  State  he  did 
not  intend  to  regard  them,  as  they  were  made  by  lawyers  and  black- 
legs." 
ALLEN  RATHBUN  : — 

"  Mr,  Cam  remarked,  that  there  would   be  in,  that  night,  a  con- 


George   Washington  is  Nobody.  263 

siderable  number  of  sheep  and  cattle;  and   further  remarked,  that  it 
looked  to  him   sometimes  that  it  was  not  right  to  take   plunder,  but 
that  it  was  ACCORDING  TO  THE  DIRECTIONS  OF  JOSEPH  SMITH  and 
that  was  the  reason  why  he  did  it." 
BURR  RIGGS  : — 

"  While  in  Diahmon,  I  saw  a  great  deal  of  plunder  brought  in, 
consisting  of  bed  and  bed-clothes;  I  also  saw  one  clock,  and  I  saw 
thirty-six  head  of  cattle  drove  in.  All  the  above  property  was  called 
CONSECRATED  property.  I  heard  Joseph  Smith  say  that  the  sword 
was  now  unsheathed  and  should  not  again  be  sheathed  until  he  could 
go  through  those  United  States  and  live  in  any  county  he  pleased, 
peaceably.  I  heard  this  from  him  on  several  occasions." 


XIII. 

JOSEPH'S    REAL  CHARACTER. 


After  having  told  so  many  "infernal  lies"  about  Joe 
Smith,  his  family  and  his  friends,  I  feel  the  necessity  of 
telling  the  "truth"  for  once.  So  let  me  publish  "the 
facts  "  about  Joe  in  the  words  of  the  present  church  organ, 
printed  Dec.  22,  1880: — 

THE  MAN  OF  THE  CENTURY. 


"Seventy-five  years  ago  to-day  one  of  the  most  remarkable  charac- 
ters of  the  age  was  born  at  Sharon,  Windsor  County,  Vermont.  He 
was  a  child  of  destiny.  Raised  up  by  Divine  Providence  for  a  needful 
work,  he  came  into  the  world  shortly  after  the  opening  of  this  wonder- 
ful nineteenth  century.  Descended  from  the  ancient  Seers,  he  bore  in 
his  body  and  possessed  in  his  spirit  the  qualities  needful  for  the  great 
work  required  of  him.  Pre-ordained  to  be  a  prophet  to  the  latter-day 
dispensation,  he  was  the  man  for  the  times,  the  central  figure  around 
which  were  grouped  other  strong  souls  born  to  be  laborers  in  the  vine- 
yard at  the  eleventh  hour,  the  star  whose  rays  were  shed  forth  in  the 
midst  of  the  spiritual  darkness  that  prevailed  for  centuries,  and  whose 
light  was  to  herald  the  speedy  coming  of  the  glorious  Sun  of  Right- 
eousness. 

"Joseph  Smith,  son  of  Joseph,  and  of  the  lineage  of  that  ancient 
Joseph  who  was  sold  into  Egypt  but  became  the  ruler  of  the  land,  was 


264  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

one  of  the  greatest  revelators  who  ever  dwelt  on  this  fallen  planet.  He 
communed  with  angels;  he  translated  sacred  records  written  in  forgot- 
ten languages;  he  was  susceptible  to  the  SEER-STONE  and  could  read  by 
Urim  and  Thummim;  he  restored  lost  divine  things  of  the  past;  he 
perceived  and  declared  important  events  of  the  future ;  he  gazed  into 
the  glories  of  the  eternal  worlds ;  he  held  converse  with  the  Father  and 
the  Son ;  he  received  the  keys  of  the  last  dispensation  and  to  him  came 
those  who  stood  at  the  head  of  all  former  dispensations,  back  to  Mic- 
hael, or  Adam,  the  first  of  all  and  chief  of  all,  who  conferred  upon 
him  the  spirit  and  power  of  their  several  callings;  he  laid  the  founda- 
tion of  the  mightiest  kingdom  that  this  world  has  ever  seen ;  he  estab- 
lished the  sacred  order  of  the  everlasting  priesthood  and  defined  its 
powers  and  limits,  its  prerogatives  and  duties,  its  offices  and  callings, 
in  all  their  detail  and  beauty  and  harmony ;  he  grappled  with  the  pow- 
ers of  darkness;  he  opened  the  gospel  to  the  living  and  the  way  of 
redemption  for  the  dead ;  he  was  spoken  of  for  good  or  evil  in  all  the 
nations  on  the  globe ;  he  sealed  his  testimony  with  his  blood,  and  his 
name  is  recorded  in  the  list  of  the  martyrs,  for  whom  shines  the  kingly 
crown  in  the  midst  of  the  majesty  on  high. 

"We  honor  and  revere  his  memory ;  but  we  do  not  worship  him,  as 
some  people  declare.  He  was  but  a  man  with  human  failings  and 
human  affections.  But  he  was  one  of  the  mighty,  and  he  has  left  an 
impress  on  the  century  that  will  not  perish  while  time  shall  last.  The 
spirit  of  his  personality  remains  on  this  side  of  the  vail,  although  he 
ministers  beyond,  and  wherever  the  restored  gospel  is  found  among 
the  tribes  and  tongues  of  men,  he  will  be  proclaimed  as  the  instrument 
in  God^s  hand  of  linking  together  the  heavens  and  the  earth,  and  of 
bringing  to  the  sons  and  daughters  of  men  the  blessings  of  the  plan  of 
salvation. 

"Thousands  upon  thousands  have  received  in  their  souls  a  divine 
witness  of  his  prophetic  mission.  And  the  people  gathered  from  the 
ends  of  the  earth  who  now  inherit  these  fruitful  valleys,  and  whose 
union,  and  force,  and  peculiarities  and  faith  have  attracted  the  atten- 
tion of  all  nations,  have  been  brought  here  by  the  power  and  influence  of 
the  religion  which  he  taught  and  the  spirit  that  he  administered.  And 
when  the  great  work  which  he  founded  is  finished,  and  the  fulness  of 
the  Gentiles  is  come  in,  and  Israel  and  Judah,  restored  to  their  former 
dominion,  possess  the  lands  bestowed  upon  them  by  patriarchal  bless- 
ings, and  the  power  of  the  wicked  is  broken,  and  Satan  and  his  hosts  are 
banished  and  bound,  and  the  kingdoms  of  this  world  are  the  kingdom 
of  God  and  His  Christ,  among  the  mighty  ones  who  stand  next  the 
throne  and  join  in  the  government  of  the  regenerated  earth  will  be 
Joseph  Smith,  once  the  Green  Mountain  boy  and  the  derided  of  the 
proud,  the  scoffer  and  the  worldly-wise,  but  now  the  heaven-crowned 
ruler  over  many  things,  and  the  honored  associate  of  the  immortal  and 
Eternal  Rulers  of  a  universe  redeemed." 

While  writing  this  cleverly  arranged   medley   of  im- 


How  Kimball  Goes  for  His  God.  265 

pudent  lies,  editor  C.  W.  Penrose  had  no  idea  that  only  a 
few  years  later  he  would  have  to  skip  Zion  in  woman's 
clothes,  the  anointed  head  buried  in  a  big  sun  bonnet, 
for  having  fulfilled  the  Law  of  Sarah.  He  is  now  in  old 
England,  playing  a  duo  on  the  flute  of  melancholy  with 
bloody  old  sinner  Daniel  H.  Wells.  Penrose,  being  a 
man  of  talent,  should  use  his  leisure  time  in  writing  the 
memoirs  of  Wells,  who  can  give  him  lots  of  curious  de- 
tails about  church  murders,  engineered  by  him  and 
Brother  Brigham,  especially  the  blood-atoning  of  Dr.  J. 
King  Robinson. 

Brother  Brigham,  it  would  seem,  knew  his  prophet 
better,  and  I  think,  if  he  was  alive,  he  could  not  take  ex- 
ceptions to  my  views  of  Joseph's  life  and  character,  if  I 
may  judge  from  the  following  expressions  in  one  of  his 
speeches  before  thousands  of  his  hearers : 

"  The  doctrine  the  prophet  Joseph  teaches  is  all  I  care  about. 
Bring  anything  against  that  if  you  can.  As  for  anything  else,  I  don't 
care  if  the  prophet  Joseph  acted.  LIKE  THE  DEVIL.  He  brought  forth 
a  doctrine  that  will  save  us  if  we  will  abide  by  it.  He  may  have  got 
DRUNK  every  day  of  his  life,  SLEPT  WITH  HIS  NEIGHBOR'S  WIFE 
EVERY  NIGHT,  run  horses  and  gambled  EVERY  DAY  :  I  care  nothing 
about  that,  for  I  never  embrace  any  man  in  my  faith.  The  doctrine 
the  prophet  Joseph  produced  will  save  you  and  me  and  the  whole 
world.  If  you  can  find  any  fault  with  his  doctrine,  find  it." 

As  a  rule  the  leaders  in  Mormonism  knew  and  know 
each  other  well.  Apostle  Heber  C.  Kimball,  for  example, 
read  Brother  Brigham' s  low  cunning  soul  as  clearly  as  if 
he  had  Joe  '  s  peepstone,  though,  in  public,  declaring  him 
to  be  God's  representative,  ay,  even  God  Himself.  Kim- 
ball could  not  help  seeing  that  Brother  Brigham  had  a 
special  weakness  for  dashing  Gentile  actresses.  On  one 
occasion  Kimball  had  assembled  his  "family"  for  the 
usual  evening  prayer,  but  when  beginning  to  pray  for 
Brigham,  he  sprang  to  his  feet  excitedly,  and  exclaimed  : 
"I  can't  pray  for  him,  but  he  needs  it  badly  enough,  for 
the  greater  the  strumpet,  the  more  Brother  Brigham  is  after 
her."  I  have  this  anecdote  from  a  perfectly  responsible 
source. 


266  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

XIV. 

PATRIARCHAL  BLESSINGS. 


Just  as  Joseph's  old  peepstone  became  the  Urim  and 
Thummim  of  "  our  holy  religion,  "  so  was  the  gibberish  of 
the  fortune-telling  Smith  family  transformed  into  "patri- 
archal blessings.  "  We  have  already  seen,  in  Dr.  Bennett's 
history,  a  brilliant  specimen  of  this  kind  of  productions, 
which  were  a  pious  pastime  for  certain  members  of  the 
"  Church, "at  once  pleasant  and  profitable.  I  am  notable 
to  give  one  of  the  blessings  pronounced  by  the  new  Abra- 
ham, Mr.  Joseph  Smith,  Sr.,  but  I  was  able  to  copy  two 
pronounced  by  "Uncle  John,1'  a  brother  of  the  new 
Abraham,  who  lived  to  a  very  advanced  age  in  Utah. 
Both  blessings  bear  the  date  of  November  10,  1852.  The 
good  people  who  received  them  told  me  that  "Uncle 
John  M  looked  carefully  into  their  eyes  before  pronouncing 
them,  to  ascertain  to  what  tribe  of  Israel  the  blessing-can- 
didates belonged.  Considering  the  abundance  of  fine 
things  promised  in  these  valuable  documents,  they  were 
really  cheap,  if  not  given  away  altogether.  Ready  money 
was  scarce  at  that  time,  so  the  price,  $2  50  apiece,  had  to 
be  paid  in  wheat,  "a  bushel  and  a  peck  per  head.  " 
Seven  persons  were  blessed  on  that  same  day,  and  the  re- 
sult was  $17  50,  or  eight  bushels  and  three  pecks  of  wheat 
for  the  venerable  Patriarch,  who  was,  by  the  way,  the 
father  of  the  Thackeray  of  Mormonism,  Apostle  George 
A.  Smith.  Here  is  the  first  of  the  two  blessings: 

"  Brother ,  I  place  my  hands  upon  your  head  as  a  patri- 
arch,.and  seal  upon  you  a  father's  blessing,  even  all  the  blessings  of 
Abraham,  Isaac  and  Jacob,  and  all  the  priesthood  that  was  placed 
upon  the  children  of  Jacob  from  everlasting.  You  are  of  the  blood 
of  Joseph  that  was  sold  into  Egypt,  and  a  lawful  heir  to  all  the  bless- 
ings that  was  sealed  upon  the  children  of  Joseph;  you  shall  have 
faith  in  the  priesthood  to  rebuke  the  waves  of  the  sea,  to  turn  rivers 
out  of  their  courses,  cause  streams  to  break  forth  in  the  parched 
ground,  and  to  gather  the  remnant  of  Jacob  from  among  the  Gentiles 
and  lead  them  to  Zion  in  spite  of  all  opposition ;  no  power  shall  stay 
your  hand ;  you  shall  cause  many  of  the  great  and  noble  of  the  earth 


* 
Religious  Fortune- Telling.  267 

to  consecrate  their  gain  for  the  building  up  of  Zion  ;  you  shall  return 
to  Zion  with  a  great  multitude  of  people  when  thou  hast  finished  thy 
mission ;  you  shall  see  thy  Redeemer  stand  upon  the  earth  in  all  his 
beauty  and  glory  with  all  his  twelve  apostles  at  his  right  hand  clothed 
with  pillars  of  fire ;  shall  share  in  all  the  blessings  of  His  kingdom, 
with  all  your  fathers  house.  Amen." 

After  this  "son  of  Joseph  "  comes  his  wife,  a  daugh- 
ter of  Abraham,  through  the  loins  of  Joseph,  of  course. 

"  Sister ,  beloved  of  the   Lord,  in  the    name  of  Jesus  of 

Nazareth,  I  place  my  hands  upon  thy  head.  As  thou  art  a  daughter 
of  Abraham,  through  the  loins  of  Joseph,  I  seal  upon  you  the  bless- 
ings of  the  new  and  everlasting  covenant.  You  shall  be  blessed  in 
your  basket  and  store,  in  your  house  and  about  your  habitation,  be 
blessed  with  power  in  the  priesthood  to  heal  the  sick  and  do  miracles 
in  the  name  of  the  Lord,  have  flocks  and  herds,  horses  and  chariots, 
man  and  maid  servants  that  will  delight  to  obey  thy  voice.  All  these 
things  shall  be  at  thy  disposal  in  the  absence  of  thy  companion.  You 
shall  be  a 'mother  in  Israel.'  Your  sons  and  daughters  shall  be  mighty 
men  and  women  in  the  house  of  Jacob.  Your  name  shall  be  had  in 
honorable  remembrance  through  your  posterity  from  generation  to. 
generation.  Your  days  shall  be  according  to  the  desire  of  your  heart, 
and  you  shall  see  all  things  fulfilled  which  the  prophets  have  spoken 
concerning  Zion,  and  inherit  all  the  blessings  and  glories  of  the 
kingdom  of  Christ  with  all  your  father's  household.  Even  so, 
Amen." 

Permit  me  the  closing  remark,  that  this  daughter  of 
Abraham,  who  was  to  be  a  mother  in  Israel,  had  never  a 
child. 


XV. 

HISTORY  OF  THE  ENDOWMENTS. 


Only  a  few  days  ago,  passing  near  the  gates  of  the 
Temple  block,  I  asked  a  working  man  standing  there: 

"  What  kind  of  a  temple  is  this?  " 

"  A  Masonic  temple,  sir,"  said  the  man,  apparently 
belonging  to  the  gang  working  on  the  building,  which 
looks  like  a  huge  prison. 

"For  what  is  it  intended?  For  what  you  call  the  en- 
dowments ? ' ' 


268  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

"  Yes,  sir,  for  the  endowments  and  other  ordinances, 
baptisms,  etc. ' ' 

Mr.  Webb  has  given  me  some  very  interesting  details 
about  the  history  of  Mormon  endowments.  Joseph  Smith, 
Brigham  Young  and  John  Taylor,  were  "  Master  Masons  " 
when  they  came  to  Nauvoo.  Joseph  drove  the  Elders  into 
the  order.  He  received  a  charter  from  the  Chief  Lodge 
and  had  a  fine  Masonic  Hall  erected.  Through  Joseph's 


ADAM'S  ENDOWMENT  GARMENT. 

influence  nearly  all  male  Mormons  became  Masons  in  a 
very  short  time.  Having  succeeded  in  this,  the  prophet 
undertook  to  "restore  the  ancient  order  of  things.  M  A 
"  revelation  "  put  him  in  possession  of  a  great  secret,  lost 
at  the  death  of  the  architect  of  the  temple  of  King  Solo- 


The  Lord  Reveals  Even  Aprons.  269 

mon.     The  organization  of  the  Endowments  was  the  result 
of  this  restoration  of  the  ancient  order. 

The  Nauvoo  Endowments  consisted  of  a  long  series  of 
ceremonies,  with  oaths  and  grips,  and  covenants  and  signs 
in  the  manner  of  the  Utah  Endowments.  Hence,  Mor- 
monism  in  Utah  is  to-day  nothing  but  Joseph? s  revised  or 
restored  Masonry.  Joseph  made  great  changes  in  the  Ma- 
sonic rites,  so  that  there  remained  but  little  of  the  original. 
But  there  was  a  change  as  from  day  to  night  between  the 
Endowments  in  Kirtland  and  those  in  Nauvoo.  In  Kirt- 
land  they  consisted  in  feet  washing  and  anointings,  taking 
of  bread  and  wine,  blessing,  prophesying,  and  appari- 


REVEALED  FIG  LEAF  APRON. 

tions  of  angels.  The  ceremonies  lost  most  of  the  religious 
character  and  changed  to  Masonry.  The  anointings  were 
about  the  only  resemblance  remaining.  * 

A  third  change  in  the  Endowments  was  introduced  by 
Brigham  Young,  after  the  death  of  Joseph  and  Hyrum 
Smith.  He  prescribed  the  terrible  oaths  binding  the 

*  Joseph  introduced  in  Nauvoo  the  ENDOWMENT  GARMENTS, 
"worn  by  Adam  in  Paradise"  and  used  by  every  "good"  Utah  Mor- 
mon day  and  night.  Desdemona  Fullmer,  one  of  Joseph's  spiritual 
wives — she  died  here  last  winter,  poor  and  neglected — made  for  many 
years  a  scant  living  by  making  Endowment  Garments  after  the  pattern 
revealed  to  Brother  Joseph  by  the  Lord.  Her  "fig  leaf  aprons  "  were 
highly  valued  by  Mormon  connoiseurs.  Poor  Desdemona  died, 
fixed  in  the  faith,  in  the  VI.  ward.  Wm.  Clayton  names  her  in  his 
Leporello-Register,  see  p.  96. 


270  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

brethren  to  avenge  the  blood  of  the  prophets  on  this  na- 
tion and  to  teach  this  to  their  children  as  a  sacred  duty. 
I  shall  deal  with  this  treasonable  feature  of  the  Mormon 
Endowment  in  Vol.  II.  of  this  work.  Suffice  here  the  re- 
mark, that  it  is  not  only  denied  by  all  "  good  "  Mormons, 
but  even  by  "  apostates  "  who  consider  themselves  bound 
by  those  quasi-Masonic  oaths  and  do  not  wish  to  hurt  the 
feelings  or  injure  the  social  or  legal  position  of  the 
"  brethren  "  or  themselves.  Statements  of  this  kind,  some 
of  them  made  in  public  speeches,  have  done  yeoman  ser- 
vice in  deceiving  the  world  as  to  the  true  character  of  this 
"church,"  which  in  its  real  essence  is  nothing  but  a  secret 
criminal  conspiracy  for  the  purpose  of  defying  the  laws 
and  keeping  up  a  system  radically  inimical  to  republican 
institutions. 


MAN'S  ENDOWMENT  CAP. 

Thousands  and  thousands  have  "  got  their  Endow- 
ments" in  the  Salt  Lake  "  House,  "  the  well-known  two- 
story  adobe  building  in  the  Temple  block.  This  sinister 
little  breeding-place  for  treason  and  polygamy  is  now  de- 
serted, but  the  three  temples  in  the  Territory,  especially 
the  one  is  Logan,  are  at  full  blast  with  the  "work  of 
God."  The  Endowments  and  sealings  given  there  bind 
many  and  many  dupes  every  week  to  blind  obedience  to- 
wards the  priesthood,  to  hatred  against  the  United  States, 
and  to  shame  and  misery  in  the  form  of  "celestial  mar- 
riage ;"  for  it  is  a  notorious  fact  that  polygamous  marriages, 
though  more  secret  than  ever,  are  still  performed,  and 
even  more  numerously  than  ever.  I  am  informed  from  a 
most  reliable  source  that  John  Taylor,  George  Q.  Cannon 
and  Joseph  F.  Smith,  the  latest  representants  of  "  Father, 
Son  and  Holy  Ghost,"  have  fine  accommodations  in  the 
Logan  temple  with  the  best  of  furniture  and  carpets  to  be 
got  for  tithing-money,  and  rare  plants  in  abundance.  About 
thirty  women  "work"  in  the  temple,  most  of  them  young,  of 


The  Logan   Temple  Making  Money. 


271 


course.  They  get  baptized  for  any  amount  of  "  the  dead, ' ' 
at  15  cents  a  soul.  They  go  for  you  through  the  Endow- 
ments as  "  proxies,  "  for  "  four  bits."  And  Eliza  R. 
Snow  is  there,  washing,  anointing  and  blessing  the  sisters, 
whispering  celestial  names  in  their  ears  and  promising  them 
eternal  glory  as  the  price  of  polygamy.  People1  go  there  to 
have  their  children  sealed  to  them  ;  otherwise,  they  would 
not  have  them  in  "all  eternity;'7  and  then. the  whole  fam- 


WOMAN'S  CAP  AND  SLIPPER. 

ilies  get  sealed  to  "  Brother  Taylor,  "to  make  sure  of  en- 
joying all  the  advantages  of  his  ''exceeding  weight  of 
glory."  The  temple  makes  lots  of  money.  Even  the 
brethren  have  to  pay  from  two  to  five  dollars  for  the  simple 
going  through  as  visitors.  You  cannot  go  through  in  your 
ordinary  shoes,  and  a  pair  of  immaculate  linen  slippers,  as 
prescribed  by  revelation,  costs  $2  50. 

Yes,  they  are  turned  into  veritable  "Templars"  now  : 
brother  Taylor  is  there,  blessing  and  sealing,  and  so  is 


272  Mormon  Portraits. — /.   Sidelights. 

brother  Cannon  and  brother  Joseph  F.  Smith,  son  of 
prophet  Hyrum,  and  a  brute  of  the  William  Smith,  Orson 
Hyde  and  Parley  Pratt  type.  The  whole  nest  of  conspir- 
ators could  be  taken  hold  of  at  one  grasp,  but  President 
Cleveland  and  Congress  have  other  fish  to  fry,  you  see. 
Hence  the  wonderful  amount  of  "no  confidence  at  all  in 
the  serious  intentions  of  this  government "  with  all  true 
friends  of  this  territory,  especially  since  the  informal 
ousting  of  the  "best  governor  Utah  ever  had,"  Eli  H. 
Murray.  That's  what  straight  loyal  and  sensible  people 
call  Murray  and  will  always  call  him. 


XVI. 

THE  MORMON  PROPHETESS. 


I  have  given,  now  and  then, .a  sample  of  the  scientific 
discoveries  of  Mr.  Tullidge,  the  special  Mormon  "'histor- 
ian." Not  satisfied  with  having  made  a  new  Abraham  of 
old  Micawber  Smith  and  a  new  Savior  of  Joe,  he  discov- 
ers Milton  in  petticoats  in  "our  beloved  sister,  Eliza  R. 
Snow,  Zion's  poetess."  Says  the  Mormon  Columbus  of 
a  new  world  of  discoveries  : 

"Her  influence  in  the  Church  of  the  Saints,  through  the  medium 
of  her  holy  sentiments  and  elevated  thoughts,  has  been  like  a  pure 
stream  from  a  heavenly  fountain.  Her  life  has  been  of  the  divine 
cast  in  all  its  phases,  and  her  sublime  devotion  to  her  God,  coupled 
with  that  saintly  meekness  which  has  ever  characterized  her,  is  like 
her  poetic  genius,  Hebraic  in  tone  and  quality.  But  she  is  something 
more  than  a  mere  poetess.  She  is  also  of  the  prophetess  and  priestess 
type.  There  are  only  two  of  the  Latter-day  Church  who  pre-eminent- 
ly possess  this  triple  quality,  and  they  are  Parley  P.  Pratt,  who  may 
be  termed  the  Mormon  Isaiah,  and  Eliza  R.  Snow." 

And   may  not   brother   Tullidge   be    "termed"    the 


The  Scare- Crow  of  Mormonism.  273 

Mormon    Homer?  He  feels  keenly  that   Eliza  is  superior 
to  all  Gentile  poetasters: 

"  We  have  Shakespeare,  Byron,  Shelley,  Burns;  but  they  are  both 
Gentile  and  modern  in  their  variety  and  tone." 

Yes,  "we  have  them,"  but  they  are  all  wretched 
"damned  Gentiles,"  after  all,  not  a  drop  of  Abraham's 
'blood  in  the  whole  lot.  How  sad  it  makes  one,  though, 
to  see  bitter  apostates  and  ungodly  Gentiles  unite  in 
slandering  such  a  personification  of  talent  and  virtue  ! 
All  decent  and  clear-headed  people  I  have  met  in  this 
territory  consider  "  the  divine  cast  in  all  its  phases"  as 
nothing  but  the  fanaticism  of  the  worst  of  female  roosters 
that  has  roped  into  polygamy  innumerable  victims,  men 
and  women,  and  been,  since  the  early  times  of  the 
"church,"  altogether  one  of  the  most  pernicious  and  re- 
pulsive figures  of  the  imposture  and  its  history,  dreaded 
and  despised  by  Emma  Smith  and  all  true  wives  and 
mothers  in  Mormondom  up  to  this  day. 

Let  me  quote  now  some  of  the  emanations  of  our  "He- 
braic "  genius,  or  genus,  to  use  one  of  the  happiest  ex- 
pressions of  Joseph  Smith,  Senior  : 

"  Vermont,  a  land  much  fam'd  for  hills  and  snows 
And  blooming  cheeks,  may  boast  the  honor  of 
The  prophet's  birth-place. 

"  Ere  ten  summers'  suns 

Had  bound  their  wreath  upon  his  youthful  brow, 
His  father  with  his  family  remov'd; 
And  in  New  York,  Ontario  County,  since 
Called  Wayne,  selected  them  a  residence ; 
First  in  Palmyra,  then  in  Manchester." 

I  see  lots  of  "genus"  in  this,  Hebraic  and  other- 
wise. Prophetess  Eliza  is  the  affinity  of  Prophet  Joseph, 
no  doubt.  Genus  will  always  thrill  responsive  to  genus. 
But  here  is  more  of  it,  in  a  poem  on  the  New- Year,  1852  : 

'*  Its  introduction  bears  the  impress  of 

The  Past,  and  casts  its  bold  reflection  on 

The  Future.     Time's  broad  bosom  heaves — on,  on 

Fast  moves  the  billowy  tide  of  change,  that  in 

Its  destination  will  o'erwhelm  the  mass 

Of  the  degen'rate  governments  on  earth, 

And  introduce  Messiah's  peaceful  reign." 


274  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

The  year  1853  gets  likewise  a  grand  Hebraic  wel- 
come, from  which  I  quote  : 

"  And  verily 

The  present,  past  and  future  are  entwin'd 
So  closely  in  their  bonds  of  fellowship — 
So  firmly  wedded  each  to  other,  that 
The  mind  must  penetrate  and  circumscribe 
'The  deep,  connecting  intimacy  of 
Those  strange,  mysterious  occurrences 
Which  sometimes  most  abruptly  introduce 
Themselves  into  life's  moving  sceneries, 
And  like  a  mighty  engine,  acting  in 
The  centre  of  the  grand  machinery 
Of  earth's  events,  produce  those  features  which 
Will  form  the  data  for  all  future  time." 

But  one  thing  surprises  me  painfully.  Can  it  be  that 
Eliza,  the  venerable  Eve  of  the  temple,  indulges  in  the 
vicious  habit  of  smoking  ?  She  sings  : 

"  We'd  better  live  in  tents  and  smoke 
Than  wear  the  cursed  Gentile  yoke, 
We'd  better  from  our  country  fly 
Than  by  mobocracy  to  die." 

I  am  myself  an  awful  smoker,  so  I  can  appreciate  re- 
sults of  the  habit  like  this  : 

"  Though  we  fly  from  vile  aggression, 
We'll  maintain  our  pure  profession, 
Seek  a  peaceable  possession, 
Far  from  Gentiles  and  oppression." 

Now  isn't  this  just  like  Milton?  It  is  even  finer  and 
older  than  Hebrew ;  it  looks  exactly  like  reformed  Egypt- 
ian poetry,  translated  by  peepstone  or  Urim  and  Thum- 
mim,  "of  which  the  knowledge  has  been  lost."  Read 
it  over  again,  brother  Tullidge,  and  tell  me  whether  I 
am  wrong,  after  all. 


They  Lie  and  Stick  to  It.  275 

XVII. 

OLD  JOE  AND  OLD  LUCY. 


Mrs.  Dr.  Horace  Eaton,  who  has  resided  for  thirty-two 
years  in  Palmyra,  New  York,  makes  the  following  highly 
interesting  remarks  about  Lucy  Smith  : 

"  As  far  as  Mormonism  was  connected  with  its  reputed  founder,  ; 
Joseph  Smith,  always  called  'Joe  Smith,'  it  had  its  origin  in  the 
brain  and  heart  of  an  ignorant,  deceitful  mother.  Joe  Smith's  mother 
moved  in  the  lowest  walks  of  life,  but  she  had  a  kind  of  mental  power, 
which  her  son  shared.  With  them  both  the  imagination  was  the  com- 
manding faculty.  It  was  vain,  but  vivid.  To  it  were  subsidized  reason, 
conscience,  truth.  Both  mother  and  son  were  noted  for  a  habit  of  ex- 
travagant assertion.  They  would  look  a  listener  full  in  the  eye,  and, 
without  confusion  or  blanching,  would  fluently  improvise  startling 
statements  and  exciting  stones,  the  warp  and  woof  of  which  were  alike 
sheer  falsehood.  Was  an  inconsistency  alluded  to,  nothing  daunted,  a 
subterfuge  was  always  at  hand.  As  one  old  man,  who  said  to  me, 
*  You  can't  face  them  down.  They'd  lie  and  stick  to  it.'  Many  of 
the  noblest  specimens  of  humanity  have  arisen  from  a  condition  of 
honest  poverty ;  but  few  of  these  from  one  of  dishonest  poverty.  Mrs. 
Smith  used  to  go  to  the  houses  of  the  village  and  do  family  washings. 
But  if  the  articles  were  left  to  dry  upon  the  lines,  and  not  secured  by 
their  owners  before  midnight,  the  washer  was  often  the  winner — and 
in  these  nocturnal  depredations  she  was  assisted  by  her  boys,  who 
favored  in  like  manner  poultry  yards  and  grain  bins.  Her  son  Joe 
never  worked  save  at  <  chopping  bees '  and  '  raisings,'  and  then 
whiskey  was  the  impetus  and  the  reward.  The  mother  of  the  high- 
priest  of  Mormonism  was  superstitious  to  the  last  degree.  The  very 
air  she  breathed  was  inhabited  by  '  familiar  spirits  that  peeped  and 
wizards  that  muttered.'  She  turned  many  a  penny  by  tracing  in  the 
lines  of  the  open  palm  the  fortunes  of  the  inquirer.  All  ominous  signs 
were  heeded.  No  work  was  commenced  on  Friday.  The  moon  over 
the  left  shoulder  portended  calamity ;  the  breaking  of  a  mirror,  death. 
Even  in  the  old  Green  Mountain  State,  before  the  family  emigrated  to 
the  Genesee  country  (the  then  West),  Mrs.  Smith's  mind  was  made  up 
that  one  of  her  sons  should  be  a  prophet.  The  weak  father  agreed 
with  her  that  Joseph  was  the  "genus"  of  their  nine  children.  So  it 
was  established  that  Joseph  should  be  the  prophet.  To  such  an  ex- 
tent did  the  mother  impress  this  idea  upon  the  boy,  that  all  the  instincts 
of  childhood  were  restrained.  He  rarely  smiled  or  laughed.  '  His 
looks  and  thoughts  were  always  downward  bent.'  He  never  indulged 
in  the  demonstrations  of  fun,  since  they  would  not  be  in  keeping  with 
the  profound  dignity  of  his  allotted  vocation.  His  mother  inspired 


276  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

and  aided  him  in  every  scheme  of  duplicity  and  cunning.  All 
acquainted  with  the  facts  agree  in  saying  that  the  evil  spirit  of  Mor- 
monism  dwelt  first  in  Joe  Smith's  mother. 

"  Bad  books  had  much  to  do  with  the  origin  of  Mormonism.  Joe 
Smith  could  read.  He  could  not  write.  His  two  standard  volumes 
were  '  The  Life  of  Stephen  Burroughs,'  the  clerical  scoundrel,  and 
the  autobiography  of  Capt.  Kidd,  the  pirate.  This  latter  work  was 
eagerly  and  often  perused.  There  was  a  fascination  to  him  in  the 
charmed  lines : 

"  My  name  was  Robert  Kidd, 
t  As  I  sailed,  as  I  sailed, 

And  most  wickedly  I  did, 
And  God's  laws  I  did  forbid, 
As  I  sailed,  as  I  sailed." 

Dr.  Mclntyre,  who  was,  according  to  old  Lucy,  "  the 
family  physician"  of  the  Smiths,  testifies  that  Joseph 
Smith,  Senior,  was  a  drunkard,  a  liar  *  and  a  thief,  and 
his  house  a  perfect  brothel.  The  new  Abraham  ran  a  lit- 
tle beer  shop  (with  peanuts)  in  Palmyra,  for  a  year  or  two, 
and  then  "squatted"  on  a  piece  of  land  belonging  to 
some  minor  heirs.  The  Smiths  did  but  little  in  the  way  of 
clearing,  fencing  and  tilling.  Their  farming  was  done  in 
a  slovenly,  half-way,  profitless  manner.  They  made  a 
living  by  selling  cord-wood,  black  ash  baskets,  birch 
brooms,  maple  sugar  and  cakes  and  root  beer  on  public 
days.  Most  of  the  time  of  the  boys  was  spent  in  trapping 
musk  rats,  fishing,  hunting,  digging  out  wood-chucks  and 
loafing  around  stores  and  shops  in  the  village.  It  was 
observed  by  all  that  Joseph  was  always  the  leader  in  enter- 
prises of  this  kind,  but  never  did  any  of  the  real  work 
himself.  As  money-digger  he  observed  the  same  comfort- 
able rule. 

*  Purley  Chase,  brother  of  Willard,  of  Palmyra,  New  York,  in  a 
letter  dated  Rollin,  Mich.,  April  3d,  1879,  says:  "When  Smith  first 
told  of  getting  the  book  of  plates  he  said  it  would  tell  him  how  to  get 
hidden  treasures  in  the  earth ;  and  his  father,  soon  after  they  got  the 
plates,  came  in  to  my  mother's  one  morning,  just  after  breakfast,  and 
told  that  Joe  had  a  book  and  that  it  would  tell  him  how  to  get  money 
that  was  buried  in  the  ground,  and  that  he  also  found  a  pair  of  EYE- 
GLASSES on  the  book  by  which  he  could  interpret  it,  and  that  the  glass- 
es were  as  big  as  a  breakfast  plate ;  and  he  said  that  if  the  angel  Ga- 
briel should  come  down  and  tell  him  he  could  not  get  this  hidden 
treasure,  HE  WOULD  TELL  HIM  HE  WAS  A  LIAR." 


Speak  No  Evil  of  the  Prophet.  277 

XVIII. 

NAUVOO  CITY  ORDINANCES. 


The  following  very  liberal-sounding  ordinance  is  the 
one  alluded  to  in  the  Expositor  (Seep.  157).  It  may 
not  look  at  first  sight  as  a  means  of  abridging  the  freedom 
of  speech,  but  its  vague  expressions  make  it  only  too  easy 
to  use  it  as  such,  and  a  city  council  like  the  one  we  have 
seen  in  operation  would  surely  not  hesitate  to  punish,  ac- 
cording to  it,  all  offenders  who  dared  to  speak  evil  of  the 
prophet  or  any  member  of  the  priesthood.  Here  is  the 
ordinance  : 

"  Be  it  ordained  by  the  city  council  of  the  City  of  Nauvoo,  that 
the  Catholics,  Presbyterians,  Methodists,  Baptists,  Latter-Day  Saints, 
Quakers,  Episcopalians,  Universalists,  Unitarians,  Mohammedans, 
and  all  other  religious  sects  and  denominations  whatever,  shall  have 
toleration  and  equal  privileges  in  this  city ;  and  should  any  person  be 

guilty  Of  RIDICULING,  ABUSING  OR  OTHERWISE  DEPRECIATING  another, 

in  consequence  of  his  religion,  or  of  disturbing  or  interrupting  any 
religious  meeting  within  the  limits  of  this  city,  he  shall,  on  conviction 
thereof  before  the  Mayor,  or  Municipal  Court,  be  considered  a  dis- 
turber of  the  public  peace  and  fined  in  any  sum  not  exceeding  five 
hundred  dollars,  or  imprisonment  not  exceeding  six  months,  or  both, 
a.t  the  discretion  of  said  Mayor  or  Court.  Passed  March  I,  1841. 

JOHN  C.  BENNETT,  Mayor. 
JAMES  SLOAN,  Recorder. 

I  quote  now  from  "  an  act  to  incorporate  the  city  of 
Nauvoo,"  drafted  by  Dr.  Bennett.  He  was  sent  as  dele- 
gate to  Springfield,  to  urge  the  passage  of  the  act  through 
the  legislature,  and  he  succeeded  easily  by  promising 
Mormon  support  to  the  leaders  of  both  political  parties  : 

Sec.  ii.  The  City  Council  shall  have  power  and  authority  to 
make,  ordain,  establish  and  execute  all  such  ordinances,  NOT  REPUG- 
NANT TO  THE  CONSTITUTION  OF  THE  UNITED  STATES,  OR  OF  THIS 
STATE,  as  tbley  may  deem  necessary  for  the  peace,  benefit,  good  order, 
regulation,  convenience  and  cleanliness  of  said  city  ..." 

It  is  well  known  how  the  Mormon  casuists  interpreted 
this  section.  The  city  could,  according  to  them,  pass  no 
ordinances  repugnant  to  the  Constitution  of  the  United 


278  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

States  or  the  State  of  Illinois,  but   it  could  ordain  things 
repugnant  to  the  LAWS  of  both  ! 

Sec.  1 6.  The  Mayor  and  Aldermen  shall  be  conservators  of  the 
peace  within  the  limits  of  said  city,  and  shall  have  all  the  powers  of 
Justices  of  the  Peace  therein,  both  in  civil  and  criminal  cases  arising 
under  the  LAWS  OF  THE  STATE. 

Sec.  17.  The  Mayor  shall  have  exclusive  jurisdiction  in  all 
cases  arising  under  the  ordinances  of  the  corporation ;  appeals  may 
be  had  from  any  decision  or  judgment  of  said  Mayor  or  Aldermen, 
arising  under  the  ordinances  of  the  corporation ;  appeals  may  be  had 
from  any  decision  or  judgment  of  said  Mayor  or  Aldermen,  arising 
under  the  city  ordinances,  to  the  MUNICIPAL  COURT,  which  shall  be 
composed  of  the  Mayor  as  Chief  Justice  and  the  Aldermen  as  Asso- 
ciate Justices.  .  .  The  Municipal  Court  shall  have  power  to  grant 
WRITS  OF  HABEAS  CORPUS  under  the  ordinances  of  the  City  Council. 

If  the  prophet  has  wronged  you  as  mayor,  he  will  set 
you  all  right  as  "  chief  justice  "  of  the  Municipal  Court,  no 
doubt.  Now  comes  the  Nauvoo  "  University  :" 

Sec.  24.  The  City  Council  may  establish  and  organize  an  insti- 
tution of  learning  within  the  limits  of  the  city,  for  the  teaching  of  the 
arts,  sciences  and  learned  professions,  to  be  called  the  "  University 
of  the  City  of  Nauvoo,"  which  institution  shall  be  under  the  control 
and  management  of  a  board  of  trustees,  consisting  of  a  Chancellor, 
Registrar  and  twenty-three  Regents,  etc. 

After  the  sciences  and  arts  of  peace,  the  frowning  of 
Mars  : 

Sec.  25.  The  City  Council  may  organize  the  inhabitants  of  said 
city,  subject  to  military  duty,  into  a  body  of  INDEPENDENT  military 
men  to  be  called  the  NAUVOO  LEGION,  the  Court  Martial  of  which 
shall  be  composed  of  the  commissioned  officers  of  said  Legion  and 
constitute  the  law-making  department,  with  full  powers  and  authority 
to  make,  ordain,  establish  and  execute  all  such  laws  and  ordinances  as 
may  be  considered  necessary  for  the  benefit,  government  and  regu- 
lation of  said  Legion;  Provided,  said  Court  Martial  shall  pass  no  law 
or  act  repugnant  to  or  inconsistent  with  the  Constitution  of  the  United 
States  or  of  this  State.  .  .  Said  Legion  shall  perform  the  same 
amount  of  military  duty  as  is  now  or  may  be  hereafter  required  of  the 
regular  militia  of  the  State,  and  shall  be  at  the  disposal  of  the  MAYOR 
in  executing  the  laws  and  ordinances  of  the  city  corporation  and  the 
laws  of  the  State,  and  at  the  disposal  of  the  Governor  for  the  public 
defense,  and  the  execution  of  the  laws  of  the  State  or  of  the  United 
States,  and  shall  be  entitled  to  their  proportion  of  the  PUBLIC  ARMS  : 
and  Provided,  also,  that  said  Legion  shall  be  EXEMPT  FROM  ALL 

OTHER  MILITARY  DUTY. 


The  Nauvoo  Legion  Absolutely  Independent.       279 

It  is  very  interesting  to  see  how  Joseph  interpreted 
this  section  of  the  city  charter.  Says  he,  in  a  "general 
order,"  dated  May  4,  1841  : 

"  The  officers  and  privates  belonging  to  the  Legion 
are  exempt  from  all  military  duty  not  required  by  the 
legally  constituted  authorities  thereof.  They  are,  there- 
fore, expressly  inhibited  from  performing  any  military 
.services  not  ordered  by  the  general  officers  or  directed  by 
the  court  martial." 

Joseph  based  this  impudent  interpretation  on  the 
opinion  of  Senator  S.  A.  Douglas,  the  "  able  and  pro- 
found jurist,  politician  and  statesman,"  from  which  I 
quote  the  following,  to  show  how  the  demagogues  of  the 
time  tried  to  help  the  new  Mahomet  in  his  schemes  : 

"  I  have  examined  so  much  of  the  Nauvoo  city  charter  and  legis- 
lative acts  as  relate  to  the  Nauvoo  Legion,  and  am  clearly  of  opinion 
that  any  citizen  of  Hancock  County  who  may  attach  himself  to  the 
Nauvoo  Legion  has  all  the  privileges  which  appertain  to  that  INDE- 
PENDENT military  body,  and  is  exempt  from  all  other  military  duty, 
and  cannot,  therefore,  be  fined  by  any  military  or  civil  court  for  neg- 
lecting or  refusing  to  parade  with  any  other  military  body,  or  under 
the  command  of  any  officers  who  are  not  attached  to  the  Legion." 

You  see  that  a  city  charter  like  this  is  a  grand  shield  in 
the  hands  of  unscrupulous  men.  But  it  was  found  to  be 
too  weak  a  protection  for  Joseph  and  his  friends.  It  had 
been  approved  by  Governor  Carlin,  December,  16,  1840. 
About  eighteen  months  later  the  prophet's  city  council 
passed  the  following 

ORDINANCE 

Regulating  the  mode  of  proceeding  in  cases  of  habeas  corpus ',  before 

the  Municipal  Court : 

Sec.  i.  Be  it  ordained  by  the  City  Council  of  the  city  of  Nau- 
voo, that  in  all  cases  where  any  person  or  persons  shall  at  any  time 
hereafter  be  arrested  or  under  arrest,  in  this  city,  under  ANY  WRIT  OR 
PROCESS  ;  and  shall  be  brought  before  the  Municipal  Court  of  this  city, 
by  virtue  of  a  writ  of  habeas  corpus,  the  Court  shall  in  EVERY  such 
case  have  power  and  authority  and  are  hereby  required  to  examine 
into  the  ORIGIN,  VALIDITY  and  LEGALITY  of  the  writ  or  process 
under  which  such  arrest  was  made,  and  if  it  shall  appear  to  the  Court, 
upon  sufficient  testimony,  that  said  writ  or  process  was  ILLEGALLY  OR 
NOT  LEGALLY  issued,  or  did  not  proceed  from  proper  authority,  then 
the  Court  shall  DISCHARGE  the  prisoner  from  under  said  arrest ;  but  if 


280  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Sidelights. 

it  shall  appear  to  the  Court  that  said  writ  or  process  had  issued  from 
proper  authority,  and  was  a  legal  process,  the  Court  shall  then  PRb- 

CEED  AND  FULLY  HEAR    THE   MERITS    OF    THE    CASE   upon  which  such 

arrest  was  made,  upon  such  evidence  as  may  be  produced  and  sworn 
before  said  Court,  and  shall  have  power  to  adjourn  the  hearing  from 
time  to  time  in  their  DISCRETION  .  .  " 

Sec.  2.  And  be  it  further  ordained,  that  if  upon  investigation  it 
shall  be  proven  before  the  Municipal  Court,  that  the  writ  or  process 
has  been  issued  either  through  private  pique,  malicious  intent,  religious 
or  other  persecution,  falsehood  or  misrepresentation,  contrary  to  the 
Constitution  of  the  State,  or  of  the  U.  S.,  the  said  writ  or  process  shall 
be  quashed  and  considered  of  no  force  or  effect,  and  the  prisoner  or 
prisoners  shall  be  released  and  discharged. therefrom. 

Sec.  3.  And  be  it  also  further  ordained,  that  in  the  absencer 
sickness,  debility  or  other  circumstances  disqualifying  or  preventing 
the  Mayor  from  officiating  in  his  office  as  Chief  Justice  of  the  Muni- 
cipal Court,  the  aldermen  present  shall  appoint  .one  from  amongst 
them  to  act  as  Chief  Justice  pro  tempore. 

Sec.  4.  This  ordinance  to  take  effect,  and'  be  in  force,  from  and 
after  its  passage. 

HYRUM  SMITH, 

Vice  Mayor  and  President  pro  tempore* 
JAMES  SLOAN, 

Recorder. 

Passed,  August  8,  1842. 

This  is  as  comfortable  in  the  line  of  justice  as  Mor- 
monism  is  in  the  line  of  religion.  If  Brigham  or  Kimball 
get  arrested  they  are  brought  before  His  Honor  Joe,  and 
if  Joe  is  arrested,  they  bring  him  before  Hyrum,  Brigham 
or  Kimball,  and  those  learned  justices  look  into  the  merits 
of  the  case  and  discharge  the  prisoner.  They  seal,  or- 
dain, anoint,  bless,  consecrate,  marry,  divorce  anpl  dis- 
charge each  other.  The  wicked  Gentiles  of  Illinois  had 
smelt  a  rat  for  a  good  while,  but  now*  the  smell  became 
rather  too  distinct.  Said  the  Sangamo  Journal  of  Sept. 
2,  1842  : 

"  We  copy  the  above  ordinance  in  order  to  show  our  readers  the 
barefaced  effrontery  with  which  the  holy  brotherhood  at  Nauvoo  set  at 
defiance  the  civil  authorities  of  the  State.  No  man  having  claims  to 
even  an  ordinary  share  of  common  sense  can  ever  believe  that  there 
is  the  least  shadow  of  authority  in  the  City  Council  of  Nauvoo  to  pass 
such  an  ordinance  as  the  above ;  indeed  the  Legislature  of  this  State 
has  not  the  power  to  do  it.  The  City  Charter  gives  to  the  Municipal 
Court  power  to  issue  writs  of  Habeas  Corpus.  Evidently  this  power 
is  only  granted  in  reference  to  cases  of  arrest  under  the  municipal 


The  Goodwins  and  Nelsons  0/1842.  281 

laws  and,  by  the  most  latitudinarian  construction,  cannot  be  made  to 
extend  to  cases  of  an  arrest  under  the  LAWS  OF  THE  STATE,  but  this 
Mormon  ordinance  not  only  extends  to  ALL  cases  of  arrest,  but  sets 
the  LAWS  OF  THE  UNITED  STATES  at  defiance,  by  giving  authority  to 
the  Municipal  Court  to  enquire  into  the  CAUSES  of  the  arrest  —  a  power 
which  even  the  Legislature  of  the  State  cannot  confer. 

"  By  the  Constitution  and  the  laws  of  the  U.  S.,  the  governor  of 
this  State  is  bound  to  deliver  up  fugitives  from  justice  on  the  requisi- 
tion of  the  governor  of  any  other  State  ;  and  the  judiciary  of  this  State 
have  no  right  to  enquire,  under  any  circumstances,  into  anything  fur- 
ther than  the  sufficiency  of  the  writ  on  which  the  arrest  is  made.  If 
this  is  in  due  form  and  properly  served,  there  is  no  power  for  any 
tribunal  in  this  State  to  make  any  further  inquiry.  The  guilt  or  inno- 
cence of  the  accused  must  be  determined  by  the  courts  of  the  State 
from  whence  the  requisition  issued,  and  any  court  of  law  which  insti- 
tutes any  inquiry  of  this  nature  oversteps  the  boundaries  of  its  juris- 
diction and  openly  sets  at  defiance  the  laws  of  the  land. 

"  Jf  these  things  are  suffered  to  pass  unheeded  by  the  authorities  of 
the  State,  who  is  safe  whether  in  person  or  property?  A  Mormon 
cut-throat  may  take  the  life  of  one  of  our  citizens  and,  returning  to  the 
City  of  the  Saints,  set  at  defiance  the  laws  of  the  land.  We  believe 
that  the  Mormon  Church  is  just  such  a  body  as  can  be  shelter  to  every 
blackleg,  cut-throat  or  horse-thief,  who  chooses  to  take  refuge  amongst 
them.  While  under  the  protection  of  Joe,  who  can  harm  them  ? 
What  means  has  an  officer  of  either  discovering  or  arresting  a  man 
held  by  a  band  who  regard  the  law  of  the  land  as  secondary  to  the 
commands  of  their  prophet?  " 

All  this  abuse  comes  from  not  understanding  the  value 
of  Mormon  pearls.  Was  this  ordinance  not  given,  like 
all  other  revelations,  for  the  holiest  of  purposes?  Who  cares 
for  the  technical  niceties  of  the  law  of  Illinois  or  the  United 
States,  when  the  Kingdom  of  God  has  to  be  established  ? 
The  above  article  was  written  by  an  "  infernal  scoundrel" 
of  the  Goodwin  or  Nelson  type,  just  to  please  the  wicked, 
who,  at  that  very  moment,  were  charging  the  prophet  and 
brother  Rockwell  with  an  attempt,  on  the  life  of  Governor 
Boggs.  Only  the  wicked  can  believe  that  the  above  or- 
dinanc'e,  passed  three  months  after  the  attempt  of  assassi- 
nation, was  just  the  thing  to  shield  my  servant  Joseph 
and  Elder  Rockwell  from  the  "corrupt  officers"  of  Mis- 
souri. Yes,  only  the  ungodly  could  believe  such  hell- 
devised  slanders.  Was  not  Joseph  the  man  "who  inspir- 
ed the  whole  with  an  archangel's  genius,"*  his  hotel,  his 

*Tullidge,  Joseph,  p.  108. 


282  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

store,  his  bank,  his  harem,  the  Municipal  Court,  the  Dan- 
ites,  and  all  the  rest  of  it  ? 


XIX. 

NAUVOO  CITY  OFFICERS. 


Mayor  :  John  C.  Bennett ;  Recorder  :  James  Sloan; 
Attorney  :  Sidney  Rigdon  ;  Notary  Public  :  E.  Robinson  ; 
Marshal:  H.  G.  Sherwood;  Marshal  ad interim  :  D.  B. 
Huntington  ;  Treasurer:  John  S.  Fulmer;  Siirveyor :  A. 
Ripley ;  Assessor  and  Collector :  Lewis  Robison  ;  Super- 
visor of  Streets  :  James  Allred  ;  Weigher  and  Sealer :  The- 
odore Turley  ;  Market  Master :  Stephen  Markham  ;  Sex- 
ton :  W.  D.  Huntington. 

FIRST  WARD. 

Aldermen:  Samuel  H.  Smith,  Hiram  Kimball ;  Coun- 
cilors:  John  P.  Green,  Vinson  Knight,  Orson  Pratt,  Wil- 
lard  Richards;  High  Constable:  D.  B.  Huntington. 

SECOND   WARD. 

Aldermen-:  N.  K.  Whitney,  Orson  Spencer;  Council- 
ors :  Hyrum  Smith,  Lyman  Wight,  Wilford  Woodruff, 
John  Taylor ;  High  Constable  :  George  Morey. 

THIRD  WARD. 

'  Aldermen:  Daniel  H.  Wells,  Gustavus  Hills;  Council- 
ors :  John  T.  Barnett,  C.  C.  Rich,  Hugh  McFall,  H.  C. 
Kimball ;  High  Constable  :  Lewis  Robison. 

FOURTH  WARD. 

Aldermen  :  William  Marks,  George  W.  Harris  ;  Coun- 
cilors :  Joseph  Smith,  Wilson  Law,  Brigham  Young,  Wil- 
liam Law;  High  Constable :  W.  D.  Huntington. 

The  City  Council  consists  of  the  Mayor,    Aldermen 


Chief  Justices,  Chancellors,  Professors,  Reverends.   283 

and  Councilors,  and  sits  on  the  first  and  third  Saturday  of 
every  month,  commencing  at  6  o'clock,  p.  m. 

MUNICIPAL  COURT. 

Chief  Justice  :  John  C.  Bennett ;  Associate  Justices  : 
Samuel  H.  Smith,  Hiram  Kimball,  N.  K.  Whitney,  Orson 
Spencer,  Daniel  H.  Wells,  Gustavus  Hills,  William  Marks, 
George  W.  Harris;  Clerk:  James  Sloan. 

The  Municipal  Court  sits  on  the  first  Monday  in  every 
month,  commencing  at  10  o'clock,  a.  m. 

MAYOR'S  COURT. 

This  is  the  Criminal  Court  of  the  city,  and  sits  at  such 
times  as  the  business  of  the  city  requires,  the  Mayor  presi- 
ding. 

{Times  and  Seasons,  Vol.  III.,  p.  638.) 


XX. 

THE   NAUVOO  UNIVERSITY. 


BOARD  OF  REGENTS. 

Chancellor:  Gen.  John  C.  Bennett,  M.  D.  ;  Registrar : 
Gen.  William  Law;  Regents  :  Gen.  Joseph  Smith,  Sidney 
Rigdon,  Esq.,  Attorney-at-law,  Gen.  Hyrum  Smith,  Rev. 
William  Marks,  Rev.  Samuel  H.  Smith,  Daniel  H.  Wells, 
Esq.,  Bishop  N.  K.  Whitney,  Gen.  Charles  C.  Rich,  Capt. 
John  T.  Barnett,  Gen.  Wilson  Law,  Rev.  John  P.  Greene, 
Bishop  Vinson  Knight,  Isaac  Galland,  M.  D.,  Judge  Elias 
Higbee,  Rev.  Robert  D.  Foster,  M.  D.,  Judge  James 
Adams,  Rev.  Samuel  Bennett,  M.  D.,  Ebenezer  Robinson, 
Esq.,  Rev.  John  Snider,  Rt.  Rev.  George  Miller,  Zenos 
M.  Knight,  M.  D.,  Rev.  John  Taylor  and  Rev.  Heber  C. 
Kimball. 


284  Mormon  Portraits. — J.  Sidelights. 

FACULTY. 

James  Kelly,  A.  M.,  President;  Orson  Pratt,  A.  M., 
Professor  of  Mathematics  and  English  Literature; 
Orson  Spencer,  A.  M.,  Professor  of  Languages ;  Sidney 
Rigdon,  D.  D.,  Professor  of  Church  History. 


PROFESSOR  ORSON  PRATT. 
SCHOOL  WARDENS  FOR  COMMON  SCHOOLS. 

Wardens  of  First  Ward:  John  P.  Greene,  N.  K.  Whit- 
ney, A.  Morrison. 

Wardens  of  Second  Ward:  C.  C.  Rich,  Wilson  Law, 
Elias  Higbee. 

Wardens  of  Third  Ward:  Daniel  H.  Wells,  R.  D. 
Foster,  S.  Winchester. 

Wardens  of  Fourth  Ward :  Vinson  Knight,  William 
Law,  E.  Robinson. 

So   they   are   A.  M.,   D.  D.,  Professors,    Chancellors, 


Generals,  Colonels,  Majors,  Captains.  285 

Presidents,  Reverends  and  Right  Reverends,  a  whole  col- 
lection of  "self-made"  titles.  Let  me  give  a  decree  of 
mighty  Chancellor  Bennett,  dated  August  10,  1841 : 

"  The  Regents  of  the  University  of  the  City  of  Nauvoo  will  con- 
vene  at  the  office  of  General  Joseph  Smith  on  Saturday,  Sept.  4,  at 
half  past  ten  o'clock,  A.  M.,  for  the  transaction  of  important  business. 
Punctual  attendance  is  requested. 

"  The  Department  of  English  Literature  is  now  in  successful  op- 
eration under  the  supervision  of  Professor  Orson  Pratt — a  gentleman 
of  varied  knowledge  and  extensive  acquirements,  who  is  admirably  qual- 
ified for  the  full  execution  of  the  high  trust  reposed  in  him,  as  an 
able  and  accomplished  teacher.  In  this  department  a  general  course 
of  mathematics,  including  Arithmetic,  Algebra,  Geometry,  Conic  Sec- 
tions, Plane  Trigonometry,  Mensuration,  Surveying,  Navigation, 
Analytical,  Plane  and  Spherical  Trigonometry,  Analytical  Geometry 
and  the  Differential  and  Integral  Calculus  : —  Philosophy  ; —  Astron- 
omy ; —  Chemistry ; —  etc.  etc.,  will  be  extensively  taught. 

"  Tuition:—  Five  Dollars  per  quarter,  payable  semi-quarterly,  in 
advance." 

JOHN  C.  BENNETT, 

Chancellor. 
WILLIAM  LAW, 
Registrar. 


XXI. 

THE  NAUVOO  LEGION. 


In  Napoleon  Bennett's  time  the  Nauvoo  Legion  com- 
prised "between  two  and  three  thousand  well-disciplined 
troops."  It  was  divided  in  two  cohorts  or  brigades,  and 
these  cohorts  subdivided  into  regiments,  battalions  and 
companies.  The  organization  was  intended  to  represent 
a  Roman  Legion.  Bennett  gives  the  following  names  "  of 
a  few  of  the  most  accomplished,  brave  and  efficient  of  the 
corps : ' ' 

GENERALS  :  George  W.  Robinson,  Charles  C.  Rich, 
Davison  Hibard,  Hiram  Kimball,  W.  P.  Lyon,  A.  P. 
Rockwood.  To  this  list  add  Generals  Joseph  and  Hy- 
rum,  William  and  Wilson  Law  and  Gen.  Bennett,  and  you 
have  the  truly  imposing  array  of  eleven  generals.  Rever- 


286  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

end,  Doctor  Sidney  Rigdon,  attorney-at-law  and  post- 
master, I  think  might  have  been  permitted  to  make  the 
full  dozen.  He  had  always  blood  in  his  eye.  John  D. 
Lee  was  Major  in  the  Legion. 


MAJOR  JOHN  D.  LEE. 

COLONELS  :  John  F.  Weld,  Orson  Pratt,  Francis  M. 
Higbee,  Carlos  Gove,  Chauncey  L.  Higbee,  James  Sloan, 
George  Schindle,  Amasa  Lyman,  D.  B.  Smith,  George 
Coulson,  Alexander  McRae,  Jacob  B.  Backenstos,  L. 
Woodworth  —  thirteen  colonels. 

CAPTAINS:  C.  M.  Kreymyer,  Darwin  Chase,  John 
F.  Olney,  Justus  Morse,  William  M.  Allred,  L.  N.  Scovil, 
Charles  Allen,  Marcellus  Bates,  Samuel  Hicks  —  nine 
captains. 

But  those  are  only  a  few  of  the  bravest,  you  see. 
Bennett  doesn't  name  General  Robert  D.  Foster,  who  is  a 
pet  aversion  of  his.  so  the  real  number  of  generals  is  an 
exact  dozen.  I  extract  now  from  "Ordinance  No.  i" 
of  the  Court  Martial  of  said  Legion  the  following  interest- 
ing sections : 

Sec.  2.  That  from  and  after  the  I5th  day  of  April  next,  it  shall 
be  the  DUTY  of  every  white  male  inhabitant  of  the  city  of  Nauvoo, 
between  eighteen  and  forty-five  years  of  age,  to  enroll  himself  in  some 
company  of  the  Legion,  by  reporting  himself  to  the  captain  thereof, 
within  fifteen  days ;  and  every  person  neglecting  or  refusing  to  do  so 
shall,  on  conviction  thereof  before  a  regular  court  martial,  forfeit  and 
pay  the  sum  of  one  dollar  for  every  subsequent  fifteen  days'  neglect. 


No  Exemption  from  Military  Duty.  287 

Sec.  4.  That  no  person  whatever,  residing  within  the  limits  of 
the  city  of  Nauvoo,  of  fifteen  days'  residence;  between  the  ages  of 
eighteen  and  forty-five  years,  excepting  such  as  are  exempted  by  the 
United  States,  shall  be  exempt  from  military  duty,  unless  exempted 
by  a  special  act  of  the  Court  Martial  of  the  Legion,  or  a  certificate  of 
inability,  under  oath,  signed  by  the  Lieutenant- General,  countersigned 
by  the  Surgeon-General,  and  recorded  by  the  Major-General's  WAR 
SECRETARY. 

Sec  7.  The  staff  of  the  Lieutenant- General  shall  consist  of  an 
Inspector-General  with  the  rank  of  Major-General,  a  Drill  officer,  a 
Judge  Advocate,  and  four  Aids- de-camp,  and  a  Herald  and  Armor- 
Bearer,  with  the  rank  of  Captain. 

Sec.  8.  The  staff  of  the  Major-General  shall  consist  of  an  Ad- 
jutant-General, a  Surgeon-General,  a  Cornet,  a  Quarter-Master-Gen- 
eral, a  Commissary-General,  a  Pay- Master- General,  a  Chaplain,  two 
Assistant  Inspectors-General,  four  Aids-de-camp,  and  a  War  Secretary, 
with  the  rank  of  Colonel;  a  Quarter- Master,  Sergeant,  Sergeant- 
Major,  a  Chief  Musician,  with  the  rank  of  Major;  and  four  Musicians, 
and  a  Herald  and  Armor-Bearer,  with  the  rank  of  Captain. 

Sec.  9.  The  staff  of  each  Brigadier-General  shall  consist  of  two 
Aids-de  camp,  an  Assistant  Quarter-Master-General,  an  Assistant 
Commissary-General,  and  a  Surgeon,  with  the  rank  of  Lieutenant- 
Colonel;  six  Assistant  Captains,  with  the  rank  of  Major;  and  a 
Herald  and  Armor-Bearer,  with  the  rank  of  Captain. 

Sec.  10.  The  staff  of  each  Colonel  shall  consist  of  an  Adjutant, 
and  a  Quarter- Master- Sergeant  and  a  Sergeant- Major,  with  the  rank 
of  Captain. 

Sec.  II.  Each  Regiment  shall  be  officered  with  a  Colonel,  a 
Lieutenant-Colonel,  a  Major  and  a  company  officer. 

Sec.  12.  Each  company  shall  be  officered  with  a  Captain,  three 
Lieutenants,  five  Sergeants,  one  Pioneer  and  four  Corporals. 

Sec.  13..  The  Lieutenant-General  and  the  Major-General  may, 
by  their  joint  act,  grant  brevet  commissions  to  such  persons  as  may 
merit  appointment  and  promotion  at  their  hands. 

Passed  March  12,  1842. 

JOSEPH  SMITH, 
Lieutenant-General  and  President  of  the  Court  Martial. 

JOHN  C.  BENNETT, 
Major-General  and  Secretary  of  the  Court  Martial. 


288  Mormon  Portraits. — /.   Sidelights. 

XXII. 

MISS  NANCY  RIGDON. 


Dr.  Bennett  tells  of  Joe's  attempt  upon  Nancy  in  his 
usual  "Pistol"  style.  The  facts  themselves  will  not  be 
doubted  by  the  reader,  after  all  he  has  heard  of  the  Nau- 
voo  Don  Juan  ;  they  are,  besides,  warranted  to  be  true  by 
the  testimony  of  Mrs.  Pratt,  who  knew  Nancy  intimately 
and  says  that  she  was  a  very  good,  virtuous  girl,  and  that 
Bennett's  tale  is  true  in  all  essential  points.  The  main 
facts  are  as  follows  : 

It  was  in  the  summer  of  1841.  Joe  and  Bennett  were 
out  riding  over  the  lawn.  Says  the  prophet  to  his  bosom 
friend:  "  If  you  will  assist  me  in  procuring  Nancy  as  one 
of  my  spiritual  wives,  I  will  give  you  five  hundred  dollars, 
or  the  best  lot  on  Main  street."  Bennett,  who  was  on 
very  intimate  terms  with  Rigdon  and  his  family,  refused. 
"  But,"  said  Joe,  "  the  Lord  has  given  her  to  me  to  wife. 
I  have  the  blessings  of  Jacob,  and  there  is  no  wickedness 
in  it.  It  would  be  wickedness  to  approach  her  unless  I 
had  permission  of  the  Lord ;  but  as  it  is,  it  is  as  correct 
as  to  have  a  legal  wife  in  a  moral  point  of  view."  Joseph 
persisted  in  his  plans,  aided  in  their  execution  by  two  re- 
liable friends,  a  Mrs.  Hyde  and  Apostle  Willard  Richards. 
Dr.  Bennett  tried  in  vain  to  make  Joe  consider  his  obli- 
gations as  a  Master  Mason:  "  Joseph,  you  are  a  Master 
Mason  and  Nancy  is  a  Master  Mason's  daughter  (like 
Mrs.  Pratt);  so  stay  your  hand,  or  you  will  get  into 
trouble." 

Still  Joe  persisted,  but  Bennett  warned  the  daughter 
of  his  friend.  So  Nancy  was  prepared  when  Joseph  took 
her  to  the  little  celestial  business  office.  The  prophet 
locked  the  door,  swore  her  to  secrecy,  and  told  her  that 
she  had  long  been  the  idol  of  his  affections  and  that  he 
had  asked  the  Lord  for  her,  but  that  if  she  had  any  scru- 
ples on  the  subject,  he  would  marry  her  immediately ; 
that  this  would  not  prevent  her  from  marrying  any  other  per- 


Serpent  Joe  Be  slimes  Nancy.  289 

son,  and  that  all  was  lawful  and  right  before  God.  *  He 
then  attempted  to  kiss  her  and  desired  her  to  kiss  him. 
Nancy  flew  in  a  rage.  She  told  the  prophet  she  would 
alarm  the  neighborhood  if  he  did  not  open  the  door  and 
let  her  out  immediately.  In  a  day  or  two  afterwards 
.apostle  Richards  handed  Nancy  a  letter  from  the  prophet, 
written  by  Richards  from  Joe's  dictation,  and  requested 
her  to  burn  it  after  reading.  This  letter  is  a  perfect  gem 
in  the  line  of  oily  rascal  sophistry : 

"  Happiness  is  the  object  and  design  of  our  existence  and  will  be 
the  end  thereof,  if  we  pursue  the  path  that  leads  to  it ;  and  this  path  is 
virtue,  uprightness,  faithfulness,  holiness,  and  keeping  all  the  com- 
mandments of  God ;  but  we  cannot  keep  all  the  commandments  with- 
out first  knowing  them,  and  we  cannot  expect  to  know  all  unless  we 
comply  with  or  keep  those  we  have  already  received.  That  which  is 
wrong  under  one  circumstance  may  be  and  often  is  right  under  an- 
other. God  said,  Thou  shalt  not  kill ;  at  another  time  He  said,  Thou 
shalt  utterly  destroy.  This  is  the  principle  on  which  the  Government 
of  Heaven  is  conducted,  by  revelation  adapted  to  the  circumstances 
in  which  the  children  of  the  Kingdom  are  placed.  Whatever  God 
requires  is  right,  no  matter  what  it  is,  although  we  may  not  see  the 
reason  thereof  till  long  after  the  events  transpire.  If  we  seek  first  the 
Kingdom  of  God,  all  good  things  will  be  added.  So  with  Solomon  : 
first  he  asked  wisdom,  and  God  gave  it  him,  and  with  it  every  desire 
of  his  heart,  even  things  which  might  be  considered  abominable  to  all 
who  understand  the  order  of  Heaven  only  in  part,  but  which  in  real- 
ity were  right,  because  God  gave  and  sanctioned  them  by  SPECIAL  REVE- 
LATION, A  parent  may  whip  a  child,  and  justly  too,  because  he  stole 
an  apple,  whereas,  if  the  child  had  asked  for  the  apple  and  the  parent 
had  given  it,  the  child  would  have  eaten  it  with  a  better  appetite ; 
there  would  have  been  no  stripes ;  all  the  pleasures  of  the  apple  would 
have  been  secured,  all  the  misery  of  stealing  lost.  This  principle  will 
justly  apply  to  all  of  God's  dealings  with  His  children.  EVERYTHING 
THAT  GOD  GIVES  us  is  LAWFUL  AND  RIGHT,  and  it  is  proper  that  we 
shall  ENJOY  His  gifts  and  blessings,  whenever  and  wherever  He  is 
disposed  to  bestow,  but  if  we  should  seize  upon  those  same  blessings 
and  enjoyments  without  law,  without  revelation,  without  command- 
ment, those  blessings  and  enjoyments  would  prove  cursings  and  vexa- 
tions in  the  end  and  we  should  have  to  lie  down  in  sorrow  and  wail- 
ings  of  everlasting  regret.  But  in  obedience  there  is  joy  and  peace 
unspotted,  unalloyed  ;  and  as  God  has  designed  our  happiness  He 
never  has,  He  never  will  institute  an  ordinance  or  give  a  command- 

*  "  After  the  death  of  Joseph,  Brigham  Young  told  me  that  Joseph's 
time  on  earth  was  short,  and  that  the  Lord  allowed  him  privileges 
that  we  could  not  have." — [Lee,  Confession,  p.  147.] 


29°  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

ment  to  His  people  that  is  not  calculated  in  its  nature  to  promote  the 
happiness  which  He  has  designed  and  which  will  not  end  in  the  great- 
est amount  of  good  and  glory  to  those  who  become  the  recipients  of 
His  laws  and  ordinances.  Blessings  offered,  but  rejected,  are  no 
longer  blessings,  but  become  like  the  talent  hid  in  the  earth  by  the 
wicked  and  slothful  servant.  Our  Heavenly  Father  is  more  liberal 
in  His  vieivs  and  boundless  in  His  mercies  and  blessings,  than  we  are 
ready  to  believe  or  receive;  He  will  be  inquired  of  by  His  children  ; 
He  says,  ask  ye  and  ye  shall  receive,  seek  ye  and  ye  shall  find;  but  if 
you  will  take  that  which  is  not  your  own,  or  which  I  have  not  given 
you,  you  shall  be  rewarded  according  to  your  deeds;  but  no  good  thing 
will  I  withhold  from  them  who  walk  uprightly  before  Me  and  do  My 
will  in  all  things,  who  will  listen  to  My  voice  and  to  the  voice  of  My 
servant,  whom  I  have  sent ;  for  I  delight  in  those  who  seek  diligently 
to  know  My  precepts  and  abide  in  the  LAW  OF  MY  KINGDOM  ;  for  all 
things  shall  be  made  known  unto  them  in  Mine  own  due  time  and  in 
the  end  they  shall  have  joy." 

I  don't  want  anybody's  testimony  that  this  letter*  is 
genuine  ;  I  feel  it  in  every  line,  comparing  it  with  Hyrum's 
Jesuitical  letter  about  the  mysteries  of  the  kingdom,  the 
revelation  on  celestial  marriage,  the  affidavits  of  Wm. 
Clayton,  and  other  products  of  this  holy-oil-refinery, 
Joe,  Brigham  and  Kimball  crawl  up  just  in  the  same  slimy 
path  to  the  proud  virtue  of  Martha  Brotherton.  It  is  the 
most  disgusting  TartufTe  business  ever  witnessed  and  Mo- 
liere  would  have  made  the  greatest  of  his  comedies  out  of 
it,  had  he  lived  in  the  Illinois  Sodom. 

The  sequel  of  the  story  is  well  told  in  a  letter  from 
George  W.  Robinson,  who  was  a  very  decent  man  accord- 
ing to  Mrs.  Pratt.  Says  he  : 

"  Nancy  repulsed  him  and  left  him  with  disgust.  She  came  home 
and  told  her  father  [Sidney  Rigdon]  of  the  transaction,  upon  which 
Smith  was  sent  for.  He  came.  She  told  her  tale  in  the  presence  of 
all  her  family  and  to  Smith's  face.  /  was  present.  Smith  attempted  to 
deny  it  at  first  and  face  her  down  with  the  lie ;  but  she  told  the  facts 

*  I  am  informed  that  on  receiving  Joe's  letter  from  post  boy, 
Apostle  Richards,  Nancy  requested  him  to  wait,  while  she  retired  to 
peruse  it  in  secret.  The  patient  doctor  having  waited  an  hour  Nancy 
came  back  to  him,  letter  in  hand.  She  pretended  to  give  it  back,  but 
with  a  sudden  movement  tore  it  to  pieces  and  flung  it  into  the  stove. 
But  she  had  in  her  retirement  carefully  copied  it,  and  the  next  that  was 
heard  of  it  was  in  the  columns  of  the  Warsaw  "Signal"  to  the  utter 
dismay  of  the  prophet. 


Nancy  Calls  Joe  a  "  Cursed  Liar"  291 

with  so  much  earnestness,  and  the  fact  of  a  letter  being  present, 
which  he  had  caused  to  be  written  to  her  and  which  he  had  fondly 
hoped  was  destroyed — all  came  with  such  force  that  he  could  not  with- 
stand the  testimony ;  and  he  then  and  there  acknowledged  that 
every  word  of  Miss  Rigdon's  testimony  was  true.  Now  for  his  ex- 
cuse which  he  made  for  such  a  base  attempt,  and  for  using  the  name 
of  the  Lord  in  vain  on  that  occasion :  He  wished  to  ascertain 
whether  she  was  virtuous  or  not,  and  took  that  course  to  learn  the 
facts !  " 

This  memorable  visit  of  Joe's  in  Rigdon's  house  took 
place  in  June,  1841.  High  Priest  George  Miller,  who 
was  present  when  Nancy  called  the  Lord's  prophet  a 
"cursed  liar,"  screamed  at  the  top  of  his  voice:  "  You 
must  not  harm  the  Lord' 's  anointed ;  the  Lord  will  not  suf- 
fer his  anointed  to  fall !  ' '  Could  Moliere  better  this  ? 

Captain  Olney,  another  decent  man  who  left  the 
church  because  of  Joe's  abominations,  declared  in  the 
Sangamo  Journal,  Sept.  14,  1842  : 

"  I  wish  to  make  a  public  withdrawal  from  the  church  of  Latter  - 
Day  Saints,  as  I  cannot  longer  consent  to  remain  a  member  of  said 
church  while  polygamy,  lasciviousness  and  adultery  are  practiced  by 
some  of  its  leaders.  That  crimes  of  the  deepest  dye  are  tolerated  and 
practiced  by  them  cannot  be  doubted.  I  have  heard  the  circum- 
stances of  Smith's  attack  upon  Miss  Rigdon,  from  the  family  as  well 
as  from  herself;  and  knowing  her  to  be  a  young  lady  who  sustains  a 
good  moral  character,  and  also  of  undoubted  veracity,  I  must  place 
implicit  confidence  in  her  statement.  The  facts  of  Smith's  wishing  to 
marry  her  as  a  spiritual  wife,  of  his  attack  upon  her  virtue,  his  teach- 
ings of  his  having  the  blessings  of  Jacob,  etc.,  are  TRUE.  The  letter 
published,  purporting  to  be  from  Smith  to  Miss  Rigdon,  was  not  in 
Smith's  handwriting,  but  in  that  of  Dr.  Willard  Richards,*  who 
officiated  not  only  as  scribe  but  post  boy  for  the  prophet,  and  who  did 
say  that  he  wrote  the  letter  as  dictated  by  Joseph  Smith.  George  W. 
Robinson  was  formerly  Joseph's  secretary  and  general  Church  clerk 
and  recorder,  and  I  have  heard  Smith  say  that  Robinson  was  the 

*  "  Apostle  Richards  died  in  Salt  Lake,  many  years  afterwards. 
The  quantities  of  whiskey  he  could  stand  were  a  caution  to  many 
a  staunch  expert  in  that  line.  He  kept  up  here  relations  with  mar- 
ried women  to  whom  he  had  been  sealed  in  Nauvoo.  A  choice  lot  of 
wives,  left  by  him  among  his  other  moveable  property,  were  "  married  " 
by  a  relative  of  his  en  bloc.  Such  a  transfer  of  human  cattle  is 
called  "proxy-marriage"  by  Mormon  theologians.  "Human  cattle  " 
is  an  ugly  phrase,  but  it  is  Mormon  enough,  being  an  echo  of  Kim- 
ball's  "  cows." 


292  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

bravest  man  in  the  Mormon  Band  and   that  he  (Robinson)  had  not  a 
drop  of  cowardly  blood  in  his  veins." 

This  Nancy  story  is  typical  from  beginning  to  end ; 
but  what  interests  me  most  in  it  is  that  apostolic  post  boy, 
Dr.  Richards.  How  eagerly  he  goes  through  all  the 
phases  of  the  wretched,  holy-lackey-business  !  Can  you 
doubt  now,  reader,  that  those  apostolic  slaves  felt  proud 
in  the  shame  of  their  wives  and  daughters — can  you  fail  to 
see  that  sin,  vice  and  abomination  were  never,  in  all  his- 
tory, so  closely  united  with  abject  slavery  and  negation  of 
all  that  is  manly  and  dignified  as  in  Joe's  holy  city  of 
Nauvoo  ? 


XXIII. 

THE  LORD  CORRECTS  HIMSELF. 


The  Bible  says  God  created  man  after  his  own  image, 
but  it  seems  rather  man  creates  God  after  his  image.  Jo- 
seph Smith's  and  Brigham  Young's  "  Lord  "  is  a  striking 
example  of  it.  He  has  all  the  low  passions  of  his  prophets 
and  even  their  abominable  grammar.  But  he  is  "  smart "  at 
the  same  time,  just  like  his  prophets.  He  observes  times 
bad  and  circumstances  and  adapts  his  revelations  to  them. 
You  have  seen  the  Lord's  opinion  about  marriage  in  the 
earlier  editions  of  the  Book  of  Doctrine  and  Covenants, 
enjoining  monogamy  in  the  strongest  terms.  You  can't 
find  this  article  in  the  latest  editions  of  this  part  of  the 
everlusting  gospel.  The  revelation  on  celestial  marriage, 
given  to  Joseph  July  i2th,  1843,  nas  taken  its  place. 

Joseph  was  Brigham' s  original  in  this  as  in  any  other 
holy  trick.  Let  me  give  a  few  examples  of  the  manipula- 
tions of  my  servant  Joseph : 


The  Lord  Afraid  of  Gentile  Critics. 


293 


Book  of  Commandments  for  the 
Government  of  the  Church  of 
Christ,  Zion,  Jackson  County ', 
Missouri,  1833.* 

"  If  thou  lovest  me,  thou  shalt 
serve  me  and  keep  all  my  com- 
mandments; and  behold,  thou  shalt 
consecrate  ALL  thy  properties,  that 
which  thou  hast  unto  me,  with  a 
covenant  and  a  deed  which  cannot 
be  broken  ;  and  they  shall  be  laid 
before  the  bishop  of  my  church 
and  two  of  the  elders,  such  as  he 
shall  appoint  and  set  apart  for  that 
purpose." 

"  And  it  shall  come  to  pass,  that 
he  that  sinneth  and  repenteth  not 
shall  be  cast  out,  and  SHALL  NOT 
RECEIVE  AGAIN  that  which  he  has 
CONSECRATED  unto  me  :  For  it 
shall  come  to  pass,  that  which  I 
spake  by  the  mouths  of  my  prophets 
shall  be  fulfilled ;  for  I  will  CON- 
SECRATE THE  RICHES  OF  THE  GEN- 
TILES UNTO  MY  PEOPLE,  which  are 
of  the  house  of  Israel." 


"And  thou  [Emma]  needest 
not  fear,  for  thy  husband  shall  sup- 
port thee  FROM  the  church." 

"  O  !  remember  [Oliver  Cowde- 
ry]  these  words  and  keep  my  com- 
mandments. Remember  this  is 
your  gift.  Now  this  is  not  all,  for 
you  have  another  gift,  which  is  the 

gift  Of  WORKING  WITH  THE   ROD; 

behold  it  has  told  you  things ;  be- 
hold there  is  no  other  power  save 
God  that  can  cause  this  ROD  OF 

NATURE  TO  WORK  IN  YOUR  HANDS, 

for   it  is  the   work   of  God ;  and 


Book  of  Doctrine  and  Covenants 
of  the  Church  of  Jesus  Christ 
of  Latter-day  Saints,  First 
Edition, 


"  If  thou  lovest  me,  thou  shalt 
serve  me  and  keep  all  my  com- 
mandments. And  behold,  thou 

wilt     REMEMBER    THE    POOR,  and 

consecrate  of  thy  properties  for 
their  support  that  which  thou  hast 
to  impart  unto  them  with  a  cove- 
nant and  a  deed  which  cannot  be 
broken  ;  and  inasmuch  as  ye  im- 
part of  your  substance  unto  the 
poor,^ye  will  do  it  unto  me,  etc." 

"  He  that  sinneth  and  repenteth 
not  shall  be  cast  out  of  the  church 
and  shall  not  receive  again  that 
which  he  has  CONSECRATED  UNTO 

THE     POOR     AND     NEEDY    of     my 

church,  or  in  other  words  [!]  unto 
me  ;  for  as  much  as  ye  do  it  unto 
the  least  of  these  ye  do  it  unto 
me;  for  I  will  consecrate  of  the 
riches  of  THOSE  WHO  EMBRACE  MY 

GOSPEL  AMONG  THE  GENTILES  un- 

to  the  poor  of  my  people  who  are 
of  the  house  of  Israel." 

"  And  thou  needest  not  fear,  for 
thy  husband  shall  support  thee  IN 
the  church." 

"  O  !  remember  these  words,  and 
keep  my  commandments.  Re- 
member this  is  your  gift.  Now 
this  is  not  all  thy  gift;  for  you 
have  another  gift,  which  is  the 
GIFT  OF  AARON  :  behold,  it  has 
told  you  MANY  things;  behold, 
there  is  no  other  power,  save  the 
power  of  God,  that  can  cause  THIS 
GIFT  OF  AARON  TO  BE  WITH  YOU  ; 
therefore  doubt  not,  for  it  is  the 


*  Reprinted  by  the  Salt  Lake  Tribune  in  1884. 
little  volume. 


A  most  valuable 


294  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

therefore,  whatsoever  you  shall  ask  gift  of  God,  and  you  shall  hold  it 
me  to  tell  you  by  that  means,  that  in  your  hands  and  do  marvelous 
will  I  grant  unto  you,  that  you  works;  and  no  power  shall  be  able 
shall  know."  to  take  it  away  out  of  your  hands, 

for  it  is  the  work  of  God." 

You  see  how  the  Lord  avoids  speaking  of  the  rod  in 
his  revised  edition,  the  rod  of  nature  that  works  in  Oli- 
ver's hand.  That  "rod"  gives  away  too  much  of  the 
hazel-witch,  fortune-telling,  and  peeping  business  of  the 
new  Abraham  and  his  family. 


"XXIV. 

^BROTHER  BRIGHAM  DAMNS  SISTER  EMMA. 


tf  President    Young"     said    in     the    Tabernacle,    in 
the  summer  of  1874  : 

"Brother  George  A.  Smith  has  been  reading  a  little 
out  of  the  revelation  concerning  celestial  marriage,  and  I 
want  to  say  to  my  sisters  that  if  they  lift  their  heels 
against  this  revelation  *  *  you  will  go  to  hell  just  as 
sure  as  you  are  living  women.  Emma  took  that  revela- 
tion, supposing  she  had  all  there  was  ;  but  Joseph  had 
wisdom  enough  to  take  care  of  it,  and  he  had  handed  the 
revelation  to  Bishop  Whitney,  and  he  wrote  it  all  off. 
After  Joseph  had  been  to  Bishop  Whitney's  he  went  home, 
and  Emma  began  teasing  for  the  revelation.  Said  she  : 
1  Joseph,  you  promised  me  that  revelation,  and  if  you  are 
a  man  of  your  word,  you  will  give  it  to  me.'  Joseph  took 
it  from  his  pocket  and  said,  '  take  it.'  She  went  to  the 
fireplace  and  put  it  in,  and  put  the  candle  under  it  and 
burnt  it,  and  she  thought  that  was  the  end  of  it,  and  SHE 
WILL  BE  DAMNED  as  sure  as  she  is  a  living  woman. 
Joseph  used  to  say  he  would  have  her  hereafter,  if  he  had 
to  go  to  hell  for  her,  and  he  will  have  to  go  to  hell  for  her 
s  sure  as  he  ever  gets  her." 


David  Whitmer1  s  Short- Lived  Glory,  295 

XXV. 

D.  WHITMER  ORDAINED  JOSEPH'S  SUCCESSOR. 


In  view  of  the  independent  stand  taken  by  David 
Whitmer  against  the  Danite  craze  in  1838  (see  p.  191),  the 
following  hitherto  unpublished  fact  is  very  interesting  : 

"On  the  6th  of  July,  1834,  in  Clay  County,  Mo., 
Joseph  Smith  and  Frederick  G.  Williams  ordained  David 
Whitmer  President  of  the  Stake  of  Zion,  [Missouri]. 
Then  Joe  said  the  time  had  come  when  he  must  point  out 
and  ordain  his  successor.  Said  he  :  '  Some  have  supposed 
that  Oliver  Cowdery  would  be  the  man,  but  the  Lord  has 
made  known  to  me  that  David  Whitmer  is  the  man/ 
Joe  and  Williams  then  stepped  out  and  ordained  David  to 
be  '  Prophet,  Seer,  Revelator  and  Translator  and  |Presi- 
dent  of  the  whole  Church  '  to  be  Joe's  successor." 

This  statement  comes  from  Dr.  W.  E.  McLellin,  one 
of  the  first  twelve  Mormon  Apostles,  who  says  he  was 
present  and  saw  it  done.  Joe  had  taken  the  cholera  and 
thought  he  was  going  to  die. 


XXVI. 

THE  NAUVOO  SERAGLIO. 


After  having  been  the  Prophet's  alter  ego  for  eighteen 
months,  John  C.  Bennett  exposed  him  in  a  book  and  in 
public  lectures.  The  book  is  "a  holy  terror,"  but  my 
studies  have  convinced  me  that  its  disclosures  are  essen- 
tially true  and  reliable,  and  I  have  no  good  reason  to 
doubt  that  part  of  them  where  the  Doctor  treats  of  the 
secret  regulations  introduced  by  Joe  for  directing  the  rela- 
tions of  the  sexes.  I  introduce  Bennett's  own  words  : 

"  The  Mormon  Seraglio  is  very  strictly  and  system- 
atically organized.  It  forms  a  GRAND  LODGE,  as  it  were, 
and  is  divided  into  three  distinct  orders  or  degrees. 


296  Mormon  Portraits. — 1.  Sidelights. 

"  i.     THE  CYPRIAN  SAINTS. 

"  The  members  of  the  Female  Relief  Society  have 
the  power,  when  they  know  or  even  suspect  that  any 
Mormon  female  has,  however  slightly,  lapsed  from 
the  straight  path  of  virtue,  of  bringing  her  at  once 
before  the  Inquisition.  This  body  is  solemnly  organized 
in  secret  and  select  council,  and  by  its  members  the  poor 
terrified  female  is  questioned  and  threatened  until  she 
confesses  the  crime  she  has  committed.  She  is  immedi- 
ately, by  the  council,  pronounced  a  Cyprian,  and  is 
excluded  from  any  further  connection  with  the  Relief 
Society." 

Bennett  says  that  these  women,  branded  as  they  are  by 
the  Relief  Society,  are  at  the  service  of  the  trustworthy 
members  of  the  church. 

"  2.     THE  CHAMBERED   SISTERS  OF  CHARITY. 

• 

"  This  order  comprises  that  class  of  females  who  in- 
dulge their  propensities,  whether  married  or  single,  by  the 
express  permission  of  the  prophet.  Whenever  one  of  the 
Saints  of  the  male  sex  becomes  enamored  of  a  female 
and  she  responds  to  the  feeling,  the  loving  brother  goes 
to  Holy  Joe  and  states  the  case.  It  makes,  by  the  by,  no 
difference  whatever  if  one  or  both  parties  are  already  pro- 
vided with  conjugal  help-mates.  The  prophet  gravely 
buries  his  face  in  his  hat,  in  which  lies  his  peep-stone, 
and  inquires  of  the  Lord  what  is  His  will  and  pleasure  in 
the  matter.  Sometimes,  when  Joe  wants  the  woman  him- 
self, an  unfavorable  answer  is  given ;  but  generally  the 
reply  permits  the  parties  to  follow  the  bent  of  their  in- 
clinations, which  they  do  without  further  ceremony, 
though  with  a  strict  observance  of  secrecy,  on  account  of 
the  Gentiles.  The  result  of  this  system  is  that  not  in- 
frequently men  having  wives  of  their  own  are  living  with 
other  women,  and  not  infrequently  with  other  men's 
wives.  Families  are  estranged  and  separated  and  chil- 
dren neglected." 

Bennett  says  that  these  "Sisters  of  Charity "  were 
much  more  numerous  than  the  Cyprian  Saints. 


But  Let  No   Gentile  Know  It.  297 

"3.       THE    CONSECRATEES    OF    THE    CLOISTER. 

"  This  degree,  also  called  Cloistered  Saints,  is  composed 
of  females,  whether  married  or  unmarried,  who,  by  an  ex- 
press grant  and  gift  of  God,  through  his  prophet,  are  set 
apart  and  consecrated  for  the  benefit  of  particular  indi- 
viduals, as  SECRET  SPIRITUAL  WIVES.  They  are  accounted 
the  special  favorites  of  Heaven,  and  the  most  honorable 
among  the  daughters  of  Jacob.  Their  spiritual  husbands 
are  altogether  from  among  the  most  eminent  members  of 
the  Mormon  church.  This  is  the  highest  degree  in  the 
Harem  and  is  held  as  the  very  acme  of  perfection.  Its 
ranks  are  filled  up  in  the  following  manner :  When  an 
apostle,  high  priest  or  elder  conceives  an  affection  for  a 
female  and  he  has  satisfactorily  ascertained  that  she  ex- 
periences a  mutual  flame,  he  communicates  confidentially 
to  the  prophet  his  affaire  de  coeur,  and  requests  him  to  "  in- 
quire of  the  Lord  whether  or  not  it  would  be  proper  for 
him  to  take  unto  himself  the  said  woman  for  his  spiritual 
wife.'1'1  Again,  it  is  no  obstacle  whatever  to  this  spiritual 
marriage  if  one  or  both  parties  should  happen  to  have  a 
husband  or  wife  already  united  to  them  according  to  the 
laws  of  the  land.  *  The  prophet  puts  this  queer  question 
to  the  Lord,  and  if  he  receives  an  answer  in  the  affirma- 
tive (which  is  always  the  case  where  the  parties  are  in 
favor  with  Joe)  the  prophet,  either  in  person  or  by  a 
duly  authorized  administrator,  proceeds  to  consecrate  the 
sister  in  the  following  solemn  manner : 

"The  parties  assemble  in  the  lodge  room  and  place 
themselves  kneeling  before  the  altar.  The  administra- 
tor commences  the  ceremony  by  saying, — 

"  •  You,  separately  and  jointly,  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ  the  Son 
of  God,  do  solemnly  covenant  and  agree  that  you  will  not  disclose  any 
matter  relating  to  the  sacred  act  now  in  progress  of  consummation, 
whereby  any  Gentile  shall  come  to  the  knowledge  of  the  secret  pur- 
poses of  this  order,  or  whereby  the  Saints  may  suffer  persecution;  your 
lives  being  the  forfeit.' 

"After  the  bow  of  assent  is  given  by  each  of  the  pair, 
the  administrator  then  proceeds — 

*  It  is  a  chief  tenet  of  Mormon  theology  that  no  marriages  ex- 
cept those  performed  by  the  Mormon  priesthood  are  valid. 


298  Mormon  Portraits. — /.   Sidelights. 

" '  In  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ,  and  by  the  authority  of  the  holy 
priesthood,  I  now  consecrate  you  and  set  you  apart  by  the  imposition 
of  my  hands,  as  husband  and  wife,  according  to  the  laws  of  Zion  and 
the  will  of  God  our  Heavenly  Father;  for  which  especial  favor  you 
now  agree  to  serve  Him  with  a  perfect  heart  and  a  willing  mind,  and 
to  obey  His  Prophet  in  all  things  according  to  his  divine  will.' 

"Again  the  nod  of  assent  is  given  by  the  man  and 
woman,  and  the  administrator  continues  in  a  solemn  and 
impressive  manner — 

"'I  now  anoint  you  with  holy,  consecrated  oil,  in  the  name  of 
Jesus  Christ  and  by  the  authority  of  the  holy  priesthood,  that  you  may 
be  fully  and  unreservedly  consecrated  to  each  other  and  to  the  service 
of  God,  and  that  with  affection  and  fidelity  you  may  nourish  and  cher- 
ish each  other,  so  long  as  you  shall  continue  faithful  and  true  in  the 
fellowship  of  the  Saints;  and  I  now  pronounce  upon  you  the  blessings 
of  Jacob,  whom  God  honored  and  protected  in  the  enjoyment  of  like 
special  favors;  and  may  the  peace  of  Heaven,  which  passeth  all  un- 
derstanding, rest  upon  you  in  time  and  in  eternity!' 

"The  parties  then  rise  and  embrace  each  other,  and 
the  robe  of  investiture  is  placed  upon  and  around  them  by 
the  administrator,  who  says, — 

" '  According  to  the  prototype,  I  now  pronounce  you  ONE  FLESH, 
in  the  name  of  the-  Father,  and  of  the  Son,  and  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
Amen.' 

"  The  robe  is  then  removed,  and  the  parties  leave  the 
cloister,  with  generally  a  firm  belief,  at  least  on  the  part 
of  the  female,  in  the  sacredness  and  validity  of  the  cere- 
monial, and  thereafter  consider  themselves  as  united  in 
SPIRITUAL  MARRIAGE,  the  duties  and  privileges  of  which  are 
in  no  particular  different  from  those  of  any  other  marriage 
covenant. ' ' 

I  believe  that  Bennett  helped  Joe  to  organize  this  fe- 
male order,  and  that  the  bustling  little  doctor,  like  Brig- 
ham  Young,  Heber  C.  Kimball,  John  Taylor  and  other 
members  of  the  inner  circle,  freely  availed  himself  of 
the  blessings  of  Abraham  and  Jacob.  Until  fairly  dis- 
proved I  must  believe  every  word  of  the  formula,  oaths, 
etc.,  given  by  Joe's  accomplice  and  mentor,  Bennett,  as 
above.  I  find  them  to  be  in  perfect  harmony  with  the 
facts,  documents  and  deductions  presented  in  this  vol- 
ume. 


Don V  Mind  Your  Dishonor.  299 

The  reader  feels  surely  interested  in  the  manner  in 
which  Joe  and  his  friends  treat  that  contemptible  farce, 
the  Gentile  marriage.  Joe's  liaisons,  were,  as  a  rule,  con- 
tracted with  MARRIED  women.  I  have  given  several  ex- 
amples, see  pp.  55,  56,  66,  69.  Some  of  the  husbands 
found  out  very  late  that  their  wives  had  been  exalted  to 
the  top  round  of  the  celestial  ladder  by  tjie  great  an- 
nointer ;  I  quote  "  Apostles  "  Ofllbn  Hyde  and  Erastus 
Snow,  the  latter  of  whom  is  said  to  have  made  this 
refreshing  discovery  only  recently,  but  who  was  deep  in 
other  people's  celestial  secrets  in  Nauvoo,  having  kept 
there  a  house  of  refuge  for  celestial  brides  "  in  trouble." 
It  has  been  a  principle  of  this  "  church,"  and  it  is  yet  for 
all  I  know,  that  it  is  no  good  Saint's  business  to  inquire 
into  any  doings  of  a  man  who  has  a  higher  degree  of 
priesthood  than  himself.  He  may  discover  that  the  priest 
of  high  degree  is  on  the  most  intimate  terms  with  his 
(the  lower  priest's)  wife — never  mind  ;  he  has  to  say  to 
himself:  "It  is  none  of  my  business;  I  was  not  able  to 
exalt  rny  wife  ;  brother  X  assures  her  of  a  higher  degree 
of  glory:  the  Lord's  name  be  praised  !  "  I  shall  give 
more  cases  and  names  pertaining  to  this  matter  in 
Vol.  II.  of  this  work,  and  clinch  this  little  chapter  with  a 
few  choice  remarks  on  marriage  by  Brother  Brigham, 
"  preached  "  in  1874  : 

"I  have  said  a  number  of  times,  and  I  will  say  again  to  you 
ladies  who  want  to  get  a  bill  of  divorce  from  your  husbands,  because 
they  do  not  treat  you  right,  or  because  you  do  not  exactly  like  their 
ways,  there  is  a  principle  upon  which  a  woman  can  leave  a  man,  but 
if  the  man  honors  his  priesthood  it  will  be  pretty  hard  work  for  you  to 
get  away  from  him.  If  he  is  just  and  right,  serves  God  and  is  full  of 
justice,  love,  mercy  and  truth,  he  will  have  the  power  that  is  sealed 
upon  him,  and  will  do  what  he  pleases  with  you.  When  you  want  to 
get  a  bill  of  divorce  you  had  better  wait  and  find  out  whether  the 
Lord  is  willing  to  give  you  one  or  not,  and  not  come  to  me.  I  tell 
the  brethren  and  sisters,  when  they  come  to  me  and  want  a  bill  of 
divorce,  that  I  am  ready  to  seal  people  and  administer  in  the  ordi- 
nances, and  they  are  welcome  to  my  services ;  but  when  they 
undertake  to  break  the  commandments  and  tear  to  pieces  the  doings 
of  the  Lord,  I  make  them  give  me  something.  I  tell  a  man  he  has  to 
give  me  $10  if  he  wants  a  divorce.  For  what?  My  services?  No, 
for  his  foolishness.  If  you  want  a  divorce,  give  me  $io>  so  that  I  can 


300  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

put  it  down  in  the  book  that  such  a  man  and  such  a  woman  have 
dissolved  partnership.  Do  you  think  you  have  done  so  when  you 
have  obtained  a  bill  of  divorce  ?  No,  nor  ever  can  if  you  are  faith- 
ful to  the  covenants  you  have  made.  It  takes  a  higher  power  than  a 
bill  of  divorce  to  take  a  woman  from  a  man  who  is  a  good  man  and 
honors  his  priesthood — IT  MUST  BE  A  MAN  WHO  POSSESSES  A  HIGHER 
POWER  IN  THE  PRIESTHOOD,  or  else  the  woman  is  bound  to  her  hus- 
band, and  will  be,  forever  and  ever." 

You  see  the  chap  anointed  with  the  higher  priesthood 
can  "take  a  woman  from  a  man  " —  and  save  and  exalt 
her,  but  nobody  else.  This  opens  a  grand  field,  truly, 
for  prophetic  and  apostolic  enterprise.  It  is  a  religion, 
you  know,  and,  as  never-lying  George  Q.  Cannon  has 
said  and  printed  so  often,  "we  are  the  purest  people." 
But  to  us  unregenerated  Gentiles  and  outsiders  the  whole 
thing,  as  from  the  first  secretly  taught  and  practiced  by 
the  leaders,  will  always  seem  the  most  consummate  and 
devilish  system  of  prostitution  ever  masked  with  the  name 
and  pretense  of  religion,  in  any  epoch,  any  country  ! 


XXVII. 

A  LOVE  LETTER  BY  JOSEPH. 


We  have  heard  of  Mrs.  Emeline  White,  the  tender- 
hearted lady,  who  could  not  stand  the  sight  of  a  melan- 
choly steamboat  captain  (see  p.  60).  She  was  the  daugh- 
ter of  "General"  Davison  Hibard,  and  her  sisters  were 
like  unto  her,  exceeding  good-hearted.  The  Hibards 
lived  at  Commerce  before  the  saints  settled  there  and  re- 
named the  place  Nauvoo.  They  were  not  vulgar  Messa- 
linas,  these  Hibard  girls,  but  rather  natural-born  sisters 
of  charity.  They  remind  one  of  Jean  Jacques  Rouss- 
eau's generous  friend,  Mrs.  Warren.  Emeline  was  one  of 
Joseph's  pets.  While  yet  trying  to  conquer  her,  he  sent 
her  a  billet  doux,  which  shows  at  once  the  ardor  of  his 
passion  and  his  willingness  to  repay  his  Dulcinea's  affec- 
tion with  the  gifts  and  blessings  of  the  Tithing  Store.  I 


The  Tithing- Store  Supports  the  Harem.  301 

would  not  miss  this  rich  little  bit  of  a  document   in  my 
collection  for  anything  ; 

"  MY  SWEET  EMELINE. 

"  You  ^pow  that  my  love  for  you,  as  David  said  to  Jonathan,  is 
*  wonderful,  passing  the  love  of  women.'  And  how  can  that  be? 
You  know  it  is  only  figtirative.  I  mean  you  have  my  most  supreme 
affections  [Poor  Emma!]  O  that  I  had  yours  as  truly!  May  I  not 
hope  that  it  will  be  so  ?  At  all  events,  be  my  friend,  my  best  friend. 
If  you  want  anything  while  I  am  gone,  call  upon  either  of  the  BISH- 
OPS—  Vinson  Knight  or  Alanson  Ripley  — and  show  them  the  signa- 
ture of  *  Old  White  Hat,'  and  they  will  provide  for  you.  Do  not  be 
afraid  to  receive  anything  from  me,  and  these  men  are  confidential. 
You  need  not  fear  to  write  me ;  and  I  do  assure  you  that  a'few  lines 
would  be  very  consoling  on  a  journey.  Sign  it  '  Rosanna.'  " 

"  Your  humble  servant, 

"  OLD  WHITE  HAT." 

Now  this  is  as  charming  as  can  be.  The  lion  plays 
mouse.  How  condescending  in  a  great  Prophet  thus  to 
trifle  with  the  divine  source  of  revelation,  the  Old  White 
Hat.  It  is  Pythia  joking  about  her  tripod.  I  wonder  to 
what  high  priest,  apostle  or  secretary  the  billet  was  dic- 
tated; probably  to  Richards  or  Clayton,  though  may 
be  to  friend  Bennett  himself.  Joe  was  then  absent  from 
Nauvoo,  in  Springfield,  111.,  but  there  was  surely  some 
confidential  "scribe"  with  him,  such  as  were  always  on 
hand  to  take  down  the  word  of  the  Lord.  ' '  Joseph  Smith, '  ' 
said  Emma  on  her  death-bed  "could  neither  write  nor 
dictate  a  coherent  and  well-worded  letter."  Bennett  is 
evidently  well  posted  in  this  matter,  as  he  speaks  of  other 
love-letters  addressed  by  the  Prophet  to  "  my  sweet  Em- 
eline." 

Well,  lam  just  "  foolish  "  or  "corrupt"  enough  to 
believe  that  the  letter  given  above  is  entirely  genuine.  I 
see  the  prophetic  earmarks,  especially  in  the  reference  to 
Joe's  faithful  bishops.  Vinson  Knight  was  the  wretch  who 
dared  to  offer  Mrs.  Pratt  his  miserable  Tithing  House 
truck  if  she  would  hearken  to  the  prophet's  infamous  prop- 
ositions. It  is  evident  that  it  was  one  of  Joe's  celestial 
business  rules,  to  offer  to  his  intended  victims  either  pro- 
visions from  the  "Lord's  storehouse"  or  free  board  and 
lodging  in  the  Lord's  "  house  of  boarding."  Thus  did 


302  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

this  great  fisher  ofwainen  bait  his  gospel  hook  !  To  illus- 
trate the  prophet's  methods  further,  I  quote  from  an  affi- 
davit of  one  Mrs.  Melissa  Schindle,*  which  I  will  not 
needlessly  shock  my  readers  by  reproducing  in  full,  the 
following  characteristic  passage : 

"  And  Joseph  told  her,  that  if  she  would  consent  she  could  make 
his  house  her  home  as  long  as  she  wished  to  do  so,  and  that  she  would 
never  want  for  anything  it  was  in  his  power  to  assist  her  to.  He  then 
told  her  that  she  must  never  tell  of  his  propositions  to  her,  for  he  had 
all  influence  in  that  place  [Nauvoo],  and  if  she  told  he  would  ruin  her 
character  and  she  would  be  under  the  necessity  of  leaving." 

This  makes  the  whole  infernal  system  clearer  than  ever. 
Same  offers  and  same  threats  as  used  with  Mrs.  Pratt  and  so 
many  other  intended  victims.  And  apostles,  bishops, 
"lady"  friends — they  are  all  employees  of  the  grand 
celestial  institution  which  combines  the  features  of  harem 
and  slave  market ;  while  Brigham  Young,  H.  C.  Kimball, 
Willard  Richards  and  a  whole  group  of  "ladies,"  do  any 
service  compatible  with  the  character  ca$\e&.'jproxenties  by 
the  old  Greeks.  Does  it  not  seem  conceived  by  an  "arch- 
angel's genius,"  the  whole  system,  but  an  archangel  with 
a  mighty  pair  of  arch-horns? 

I  see,  now,  where  you  have  graduated,  Brother  Brig- 
ham  :  it  was  at  the  Nauvoo  University  of  crime  and  deceit, 
of  secret  whisperings,  of  heartless  selfishness  and  absolute 
unscrupulousness.  Like  Joe,  you  are  fully  steeped  in  these 
things  and  nobody  is  your  friend,  can  be  your  friend,  but 
such  as  would  abet  you  in  selfish,  cunning,  serpentine 
schemes,  joe  and  you,  Brigham,  were  the  two  great  sal- 
vation-merchants, and  the  price  for  "exaltation"  was  always 
the  honour,  the  conscience,  the  virtue  and  purity,  the 
money  and  property  of  your  customers — the  honor  oif  man, 
the  happiness  of  woman  ! 

You  learned  to  rule  in  secret  Nauvoo,  Brigham  Young  ; 
and  you  to  obey  secret  orders,  "martyr"  John  D.  Lee! 
Secrecy — it  is  the  faith-word  of  Satan.  Ah,  the  blood- 
stained ages  rise  before  me  burthened  with  it.  "  Had  we 
not  done  in  secret  what  we  did,"  says  Rigdon  in  1844, 

*  Bennett,  p.  253. 


Secret  Oaths  and  Devil- Covenants.  303 

just  before  his  first  tools,  the  Smith  brothers,  were  slaught- 
ered, "the  church  would  not  have  been  where  it  is  to-day. " 
To  which  I  add,  that  but  for  secret  oaths  and  devil- covenants* 
there  would  never  have  been  a  Mountain  Meadows  Massa- 
cre. Nice,  is  it  not,  O  ye  liberty-loving  people  of  Utah, 
squandering  millions,,  wasting  away  life's  glorious  ener- 
gies, fostering  social  and  domestic  hates  and  divisions, 
murdering  the  intelligence  and  poisoning  the  patriotism 
of  rising  generations  with  lying  catechisms — still  to  per- 
petuate these  silly  secret  mummeries  of  new  revelation  ! 


XXVIII. 

"TWO  MINUTES  IN  GOAL." 


I  insert  here  the  well-known  account  of  the  death  of 
Joseph  and  Hyrum  Smith,  written  on  the  very  day  by 
Apostle  Willard  Richards,  the  only  one  of  the  four 
attacked  who  received  no  wound.  From  this  report  it 
would  seem  that  Joseph  fell  from  the  window  dead.  It  is 
quite  possible  that  the  story  of  his  being  set  up  against 
the  well-curb  has  been  manufactured  later  in  order  to  make 
the  lynching  a  perfect  cold-blooded  Gentile  murder.  Cer- 
tain it  is,  the  Times  and  Seasons  of  1844  makes  no  men- 
tion of  the  well-curb  story,  though  W.  Richards  could 
scarcely  have  helped  witnessing  the  scene  at  the  well-curb, 
miraculous  stroke  of  lightning  and  all,  since  he  was  at  the 
window.  Moreover,  but  three  gun-shot  wounds  are  found 
in  the  body  of  Joseph  when  it  is  washed  and  dressed  for 
burial. f  There  should  have  been  seven  (or  at  least  four) 

*  Brigham  Young  preached  in  Provo  after  Lee's  execution : 
"  Brother  Lee  went  to  hell  —  not  because  of  the  Mountain  Meadows 
Massacre,  but  for  breaking  his  covenants  and  betraying  the  brethren." 

f  "Joseph  was  shot  in  the  right  breast,  also  under  the  heart  in  the 
lower  part  of  his  bowels  on  the  right  side,  and  on  the  big  wrinkle  on 
the  back  part  of  the  right  hip.  One  ball  had  come  out  at  the  right 
shoulder  blade." — Deseret  News,  Nov.  25,  1857. 


304  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Sidelights. 

wounds  had  the  shooting  at  the  well-curb  been  a  fact.   But 
hear  the  narrative  of  Apostle  Richards : 

"CARTHAGE,  June  27th,  1844. 

"  A  shower  of  musket-balls  were  thrown  up  the  stairway  against 
the  door  of  the  prison  in  the  second  story,  followed  by  many  rapid 
footsteps.  While  Generals  Joseph  and  Hyrum  Smith,  Mr.  Taylor  and 
myself,  who  were  in  the  front  chamber,  closed  the  door  of  our  room 
against  the  entry  at  the  head  of  the  stairs,  and  placed  ourselves  against 
it,  there  being  no  lock  on  the  door,  and  no  ketch  tha.t  was  useable;  the 
door  is  a  common  panel — and  as  soon  as  we  heard  the  feet  at  the  stairs' 
head,  a  ball  was  sent  through  the  door,  which  passed  between  us,  and 
showed  that  our  enemies  were  desperadoes,  and  we  must  change  our 
position.  General  Joseph  Smith,  Mr.  Taylor  and  myself  sprang  back 
to  the  front  part  of  the  room,  and  General  Hyrum  Smith  retreated 
two-thirds  across  the  chamber,  and  directly  in  front  of  and  facing  the 
door.*  A  ball  was  sent  through  the  door,  which  hit  Hyrum  on  the  side 
of  the  nose,  when  he  fell  backwards,  extended  at  length,  without  mov- 
ing his  feet.  From  the  holes  in  his  vest  (the  day  was  warm  and  no 
one  had  a  coat  on  but  myself),  pantaloons,  drawers  and  shirt,  it  appears 
evident  that  a  ball  must  have  been  thrown  from  without,  through  the 
window,  which  entered  his  back  on  the  right  side,  and  passing  through, 
lodged  against  his  watch,  which  was  in  his  right  vest  pocket,  completely 
pulverizing  the  crystal  and  face,  tearing  off  the  hands  and  mashing  the 
whole  body  of  the  watch,  at  the  same  instant  the  ball  from  the  door 
entered  his  nose.  As  he  struck  the  floor  he  exclaimed,  emphatically, 
'I'm  a  dead  man.''  Joseph  looked  twards  him  and  responded,  'O 
dear  !  Brother  Hyrum  ! '  and  opening  the  door  two  or  three  inches  with 
his  left  hand,  discharged  one  barrel  of  a  six-shooter  (pistol)  at  random 
in  the  entry  from  whence  a  ball  grazed  Hyrum's  breast,  and  entering 
his  throat  passed  into  his  head,  while  other  muskets  were  aimed  at  him 
and  some  balls  hit  him.  Joseph  continued  snapping  his  revolver  round 
the  casing  of  the  door  into  the  space  as  before,  three  barrels  of  which 
missed  fire,  while  Mr.  Taylor,  with  a  walking-stick,  stood  by  his  side 
and  knocked  down  the  bayonets  and  muskets  which  were  constantly 
discharging  through  the  doorway,  while  I  stood  by  him,  ready  to  lend 
any  assistance,  with  another  stick,  but  could  not  come  within  striking 
distance  without  going  directly  before  the  muzzles  of  the  guns.  When 
the  revolver  failed  we  had  no  more  fire-arms,  and  expecting  an  imme- 
diate rush  of  the  mob,  and  the  doorway  full  of  muskets — half-way  in 
the  room  and  no  hope  but  instant  death  from  within — Mr.  Taylor 

*"  Joseph,  Hyrum  and  Taylor  had  their.coats  off;  Joseph  sprang 
to  his  coat  for  his  six  shooter,  Hyrum  for  his  single  barrel,  Taylor  for 
Markham's  large  hickory  cane  and  Dr.  Richards  for  Taylor's  cane. 
.  .  .  Hyrum  was  retreating  back  in  front  of  the  door  and  snapped  his 
pistol,  when  a  ball  struck  him  in  the  left  side  of  his  nose,  etc." 
Deseret  News,  Nov.  25,  1857. 


Two  Martyrs  and  a  Half.  305 

rushed  into  the  window,  which  is  some  fifteen  or  twenty  feet  from  the 
ground.  When  his  body  was  nearly  on  a  balance,  a  ball  from  the 
door  within  entered  his  leg,  and  a  ball  from  without  struck  his  watch, 
a  patent  lever,  in  his  vest  pocket,  near  the  left  breast,  and  smashed  it 
in  'pi,'  leaving  the  hands  standing  at  5  o'clock,  16  minutes  and  26 
seconds —  the  force  of  which  ball  threw  him  back  on  the  floor,  and  he 
rolled  under  the  bed  which  stood  by  his  side,  where  he  lay  motionless, 
the  mob  from  the  door  continuing  to  fire  upon  him,  cutting  away  a 
piece  of  flesh  from  his  left  hip  as  large  as  a  man's  hand,  and  were  hin- 
dered only  by  my  knocking  down  their  muzzles  with  a  stick  ;  while 
they  continued  to  reach  their  guns  into  the  room ,  probably  left-handed, 
and  aimed  their  discharge  so  far  around  as  almost  to  reach  us  in  the 
corner  of  the  room  to  where  we  retreated  and  dodged,  and  then  I  re- 
commenced the  attack  with  my  stick  again.  Joseph  attempted,  as  the 
last  resort,  to  leap  the  same  window  from  whence  Mr.  Taylor  fell, 
when  two  balls  pierced  him  from  the  door,  and  one  entered  his  right 
breast  from  without,  and  he  fell  outward,  exclaiming,  *  O  Lord  my 
God  I"1  As  his  feet  went  out  of  the  window  my  head  went  in,  the  balls 
whistling  all  around.  He  fell  on  his  left  side  a  DEAD  man.  At  this 
instant  the  cry  was  raised,  "He's  leaped  the  window]  and  the  mob 
on  the  stairs  and  in  the  entry  ran  out.  I  withdrew  from  the  window, 
thinking  it  of  no  use  to  leap  out  on  a  hundred  bayonets,  then  around 
General  Smith's  body.  Not  satisfied  with  this,  I  again  reached  my 
head  out  of  the  window,  and  watched  some  seconds,  to  see  if  there 
were  any  signs  of  life,  regardless  of  my  own,  determined  to  see  the  end 
of  him  I  loved.  Being  fully  satisfied  that  he  was  dead,  with  a  hundred 
men  near  the  body,  and  more  coming  round  the  corner  of  the  goal, 
and  expecting  a  return  to  our  room,  I  rushed  towards  the  prison-door, 
at  the  head  of  the  stairs,  and  through  the  entry  from  whence  the  firing 
had  proceeded,  to  learn  if  the  door  into  the  prison  were  open.  When 
near  the  entry,  Mr.  Taylor  called  out,  '  Take  me."*  I  pressed  my  way 
until  I  found  all  doors  unbarred  •  returning  instantly,  caught  Mr.  Tay- 
lor under  my  arm  and  rushed  by  the  stairs  into  the  dungeon,  or  inner 
prison,  stretched  him  on  the  floor,  and  covered  him  with  a  bed,  in  such 
a  manner  as  not  likely  to  be  perceived,  expecting  an  immediate  return 
of  the  mob.  I  said  to  Mr.  Taylor,  '  This  is  a  hard  case,  to  lay  you  on 
the  floor ;  but  if  your  wounds  are  not  fatal  I  want  you  to  live  to  tell 
the  story.'  I  expected  to  be  shot  the  next  moment  and  stood  before 
the  door  awaiting  the  onset. 

"WiLLARD  RICHARDS." 


306  Mormon  Portraits. — 7.  Sidelights. 

XXIX. 

ORIGIN  OF  THE  WORD  "MORMON." 


We  have  seen  Joe  playing  the  learned  oracle  of  the 
age.  After  pretending  inspiration  he  feigned  science.  It 
was  the  same  vanity  that  had  made  him  appear  as  "  author 
and  proprietor"  in  the  first  edition  of  the  "Book  of 
Mormon."  Author  of  a  book  written  by  ancient  proph- 
ets and  translated  by  a  divine  prompter  !  The  following 
letter,  printed  in  the  Times  and  Seasons,  is  a  rich  speci- 
men of  the  "  oracles  "  given  by  the  Peeper,  and  of  course 
devoutly  accepted  by  the  long-eared  herd  then  composing 
the  great  mass  of  the  "faithful."  Having  seen  no  "in- 
dignant protest"  against  it  from  the  pen  of  Professor 
Orson  Pratt,  or  any  other  Mormon  professor  or  educator, 
I  conclude  that  it  still  "stands  independent"  of  learning. 

The  Greek  word  "Mormon"  had  been  chosen  by 
scholarly  infected  Solomon  Spaulding  in  the  same  kind  of 
a  whim  as  he  chose  others  from  the  Latin,  such  as  "Alma" 
and  the  like.  "  Mormon"  means  in  Greek  a  hobgoblin, 
and  poor  old  crank  Solomon  was  surely  happy  with  a 
Greek  feather  in  his  dreamy  nightcap.  Joe  saw  his 
chance  for  a  tremendous  bluff  at  the  learned  world.  So 
betakes  a  good  handful  of  "diamond  truth"  and  (no 
doubt  with  W.  W.  Phelps  as  scribe)  sits  down  to  "com- 
bat" another  "error  of  the  age."  Writes  he: 

11  SIR, — Through  the  medium  of  your  paper,  I  wish  to  correct  an 
error  among  men  that  profess  to  be  learned,  liberal  and  wise  ;  and  I 
do  it  the  more  cheerfully,  because  I  hope  sober-thinking  and  sound-  • 
reasoning  people  will  sooner  listen  to  the  voice  of  truth,  than  be  led 
astray  by  the  vain  pretensions  of  the  self-wise.  [That's  too  good, 
Joseph.]  The  error  I  speak  of  is  the  definition  of  the  word  '  Mor- 
mon.' It  has  been  stated  that  this  word  was  derived  from  the  Greek 
word  mormo.  This  is  not  the  case.  There  was  no  Greek  or  Latin 
upon  the  plates  from  which  I,  through  the  grace  of  God,  translated 
the  Book  of  Mormon.  Let  the  language  of  that  book  speak  for  itself. 
On  the  523rd  page  of  the  fourth  edition,  it  reads: — 'And  now  be- 
hold we  have  written  the  record  according  to  our  knowledge  in  the 
characters  which  are  called  among  us  the  REFORMED  EGYPTIAN,  be- 


Joe  at  Home  in  Nine  Languages.  307 

ing  handed  down  and  altered  by  us  according  to  our  manner  of 
speech ;  and  if  our  plates  were  sufficiently  large,  we  should  have 
written  in  Hebrew.  Behold  ye  would  have  had  no  imperfections  in 
our  record,  but  the  Lord  knoweth  the  things  which  we  have  written, 
and  also,  that  NONE  OTHER  PEOPLE  KNOWETH  OUR  LANGUAGE  ;  there- 
fore he  hath  prepared  means  for  the  interpretation  thereof? 

"  Here,  then,  the  subject  is  put  to  silence,  for  '  none  other  people 
knoweth  our  language ; '  therefore  the  Lord,  and  not  man,  hath  to 
interpret,  after  the  people  were  all  dead.  And,  as  Paul  said,  *  the 
world  by  wisdom  know  not  God,'  and  the  world  by  speculation  are 
destitute  of  revelation ;  and  as  God,  in  His  superior  wisdom,  has  al- 
ways given  His  saints,  wherever  *He  has  had  any  on  earth,  the  same 
spirit,  and  that  spirit  (as  John  says)  is  the  true  spirit  of  prophesy, 
which  is  the  testimony  of  Jesus,  I  may  safely  say  that  the  word  Mor- 
mon stands  independent  of  the  learning  and  wisdom  of  this  generation. 
Before  I  give  a  definition,  however,  to  the  word,  let  me  say  that  the 
Bible,  in  its  widest  sense,  means  good  ;  for  the  Savior  says,  according 
to  the  Gospel  of  St.  John,  *  I  am  the  good  shepherd ; '  and  it  will  not 
be  beyond  the  common  use  of  terms  to  say,  that  good  is  amongst  the 
most  important  in  use,  and  though  known  by  various  names  in  dif- 
ferent languages,  still  its  meaning  is  the  same,  and  is  ever  in  oppo- 
sition to  bad.  We  say  from  the  Saxon,  good;  the  Dane,  god;  the 
Goth,  Goda;  the  German,  Gut;  the  Dutch,  Goed;  the  Latin,  bonus; 
the  Greek,  kalos;  the  Hebrew,  tob;  and  the  Egyptian,  mon.  Hence, 
with  the  addition  of  '  more,'  or  the  contraction  mor,  we  have  the  word 
Mormon,  which  means,  literally,  more  good.  Yours, 

JOSEPH  SMITH." 

Here's  solid  chunks  of  wisdom!  But  compare  the 
foregoing  with  Joseph's  tale  about  Martin's  visit  to  Prof. 
Anthon,  and  you  see  the  Peeper  again  in  one  of  those 
providential  traps  reserved  for  the  sure  punishment  of 
impostors.  "None  other  people  knoweth  our  language'' 
the  Reformed  Egyptian  ;  "  Therefore  the  Lord,  and  not 
man  hath  to  interpret.''*  But  Prof.  Anthon  and  Dr. 
Mitchell  understand  the  hieroglyphics,  all  the  same :  the 
characters  are  true  and  the  translation  is  correct.  Oh, 
Kolob,  Kokob  and  Kokaubeam  !  And  then  the  heart- 
rending revelation  which  makes  the  Bible  mean  "  good  ;  " 
that  little  slip  in  giving  kalos  as  the  Greek  word  for  good, 
instead  of  agathos ;  and  finally,  to  speak  with  Tullidge, 
the  wondrous  announcement  that  Reformed  Egyptian 
consists,  at  least  in  this  special  case,  not  of  rotten  Chal- 
daic,  Assyriac  and  Arabic,  but  of  the  fresh,  living  Saxon 
of  our  days  and  embalmed  Egyptian :  more  and  mon. 


308  Mormon  Portraits. — /.   Sidelights. 

united  in  one  word,  like  the  Siamese  twins,  while  one  was 
dead  and  the  other  yet  alive  ! 

But  you  must  not  laugh.  If  you  do,  you're  lost. 
Joseph  Smith.  Jr.,  held  converse  with  holy  angels,  with  the 
Father  and  Son  —  and  he  wrote  (set  his  name  to)  this 
letter !  ! 


XXX. 

APOSTOLIC    SPREES. 


Let  us  give  one  last  glance  at  the  high  times  in  Kirt- 
land,  Ohio.  Everything  was  flourishing  then,  revelation, 
consecration,  translation,  and  even  sealing,  as  we  have 
seen.  It  was  the  time  when  Joe  and  his  brothers  and 
their  next  friends  got  money  in  their  hands  for  the  first 
time  in  their  lives.  They  founded  mills,  stores,  a  bank,  a 
city  and  a  temple.  How  solid  those  enterprises  were  is 
well  known.  Honest  David  Whitmer  told  Joe  one  day, 
alluding  to  the  famous  bar\k,  that  there  were  more  lies 
than  dollars  passed  over  his  counter.  * 

The  "Endowments"  in  the  Kirtland  temple  were 
nothing  but  a  big  spree,  so  big,  that  the  "  apparitions  of 
angels,"  etc.,  were  not  miraculous  at  all.  I  quote  from  a 
letter  by  Dr.  McLellin,  one  of  the  first  quorum  of 
Mormon  apostles : 

"  About  five  hundred  ministers  entered  that  great  temple  about 
sunrise  and  remained  fasting  until  next  morning  sunrise,  except  a  little 
bread  and  wine  in  the  evening.  The  Twelve  were  required  to  take 
large  servers  and  set  glasses  of  wine  and  lumps  of  bread,  and  go 
through  the  house  and  serve  the  brethren.  I  did  my  part  of  the 
serving.  During  the  night  a  purse  was  made  up  and  a  wagon  sent 
to  Painesville  and  a  barrel  of  wine  procured,  and  then  it  was  a  time. 
All  the  latter  part  of  the  night  I  took  care  of  Samuel  H.  Smith 
[brother  of  the  prophet] ,  perfectly  unable  to  help  himself.  And  I 

*  "  David  Whitmer  I  believe  to  be  an  honest  and  truthful  man.  I 
think  what  he  states  may  be  relied  on."  So  says  Emma  Smith  on  he-r 
death-bed. 


Saintly  Hyrum  the    Wildest  of  Them.  309 

had  others  removed  from  the  house   because  they  were  unfit-  to  be  in 
decent  company  " 

Money  came  in  from  the  dupes;  town  lots  sold /at 
high  figures,  and  the  eastern  merchants  sent  goods  on 
credit.  The  new  prophets  and  apostles  felt  good.  I 
quote  from  another  letter  of  the  same  ex-apostle  : 

"  Soon  fine  dressing  and  fine  parties  were  the  go,  and  soon  a  fine 
Tide  was  determined  upon.  Some  fifteen  couples  hired  fine  carriages, 
with  fine  harness  and  horses  and,  when  all  was  in  readiness,  they  set 
out  for  Cleveland,  some  nineteen  miles  away.  They  drove  round  and 
round  through  the  streets.  People  gazed  and  inquired,  '  Who  is  all 
this  ?  '  '  Oh,  it's  Joe  Smith,  the  Mormon  prophet,  and  his  company.' 
They  put  up  at  a  first-class  tavern,  called  for  a  room,  refreshments  and 
something  to  drink.  Some  of  them  became  intoxicated,  and  they 
broke  up  about  twenty  dollars'  worth  of  dishes  and  furniture.  Next 
morning  they  paid  their  bill  and  set  out  for  home.  They  stopped  at 
Euclid — half  way — and  took  dinner  and  again  drank  freely;  and 
after  they  set  out  for  home  they  commenced  running  horses,  and 
turned  over  a  buggy  and  broke  it  up,  so  they  had  to  haul  it  home  on  a 
wagon.  But  all  went  swimmingly.  «  We  are  great  merchantmen, 
money  plenty.'  But  no  confessions  were  ever  required  or  made  in 
the  church  for  this  wild-goose  chase.  They  still  continued  their 
practices  and  their  drinking  to  excess,  until  I  sickened  and,  with  a 
heavy  heart,  left  the  place  and  church  and  wended  my  way  to  Illinois, 
with  my  companion  and  two  little  children.* 

Wiliarn  Smith,  Joe's  younger  brother,  and  one  of  the 
Twelve,  was  the  enfant  terrible  of  that  holy  family.  When 
drunk  he  was  capable  of  anything,  even  giving  away  the 
key  of  the  whole  fraud.  He  used  to  beat  Joseph  and 
throw  him  down.  He  once  struck  Joe  on  the  forehead 
and  cut  a  watch-pocket  over  his  eye,  so  that  the  prophet 
had  to  stay  away  from  church  a  week  or  two.  One  after- 
noon a  number  of  persons  were  playing  town  ball  in  the 
flat  on  the  bank  of  the  creek  in  Kirtland.  There  was 
whiskey  on  the  ground,  and  "Bill"  Smith  got  so  drunk 
that  he  had  to  sit  down  between  the  roots  of  a  stump  and 
lean  back  against  the  stump  to  sit  up.  Some  of  the 
brethren  reminded  him  that  he  was  announced  to  preach 

*  David  Whitmer  told  Mr.  Traughber  that  Oliver  Cowdery  was  on 
the  ride  to  Cleveland,  and  that  he  said  about  it,  "  it  would  be  a  dis- 
grace to  worldlings"  David  said  he  heard  it  was  Hyrum  Smith  who 
broke  up  the  dishes  with  his  cane. 


310  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

the  next  day,  and  that  he  would  not  be  allowed  to  preach 
if  he  made  such  a  spectacle  of  himself.  He  roared  out, 
"  I'll  be  d — d  if  I  don't  preach.  If  they  don't  let  me 
preach,  by  God  I'll  tell  all  I  know  about  them  plates" 
He  preached.  On  another  occasion,  while  riding  with 
Mr.  Markell,  he  began  to  sing  an  obscene  song.  Mr. 
Markell  reminded  him  that  he  was  a  preacher  and  was  to 
preach  the  next  Sunday  (Bill  and  Joe  were  in  a  quarrel 
then).  Apostle  Bill  replied  :  "  I  am  not  going  to  preach 
any  more.  The  whole  thing  [Mormonism]  is  a  d — d 
humbug.  I'm  going  to  tell  all  I  know  about  them  plates. ' ' 
All  this  shows  that  Apostle  William  was  a  horrible 
brute ;  still  he  impresses  me  as  having  been  the  only  fellow 
in  the  whole  lot  who  had  a  remote  idea  of  honesty.  He 
at  least  had  moments  when  he  was  tempted  to  tell  the 
truth  about  the  fraud  —  Joe  and  Hyrum  never  had. 


XXXI. 

THE  CANADA  REVELATION. 


It  was  not  easy,  after  all,  to  get  old  Martin  Harris  to 
pay  the  $3000  for  the  first  edition  of  the  Book  of  Mormon. 
The  Lord  found  it  necessary  to  bulldoze  the  cautious  farm- 
er by  a  special  revelation,  dated  March,  1830:  "  a  com- 
mandment of  God  and  not  of  man,  given  to  you ,  Martin" 
Martin  is  threatened  with  fearful  punishment : 

"  Wherefore,  I  command  you  by  My  name  and  by  My  Almighty 
power,  that  you  repent,  repent,  lest  I  smite  you  by  the  rod  of  my 
mouth  and  by  my  wrath  and  by  my  anger,  and  your  sufferings  be  sore  : 

"  How  sore  you  know  not ! 
How  exquisite  you  know  not ! 
Yea,  how  hard  to  bear  you  know  not !  " 

After  having  given  Martin  a  good  shaking  up  and  a 
foresmell  of  brimstone,  the  Lord  proceeds  to  business  : 

"  I  command  you  that  thou  shalt  not  covet  thine  own  property,  but 


Joe   Confesses  that  He  has  Lied.  311 

impart  it  freely  to  the  printing  of  the  Book  of  Mormon,  which  con- 
tains the  truth  and  the  word  of  God.  .  .  . 

"  Impart  a  portion  of  thy  property,  yea,  even  a  part  of  thy  land 
and  ALL  save  the  support  of  thy  family. 

"  PAY  THE  PRINTER'S  DEBT."          * 

You  see  the  Lord  did  not  think  yet  of  organizing  stock 
companies;  that  came  later,  when  He  was  under  the  in- 
fluence of  the  new  Abraham.  Well,  Martin  Harris  was 
willing  enough  to  pay,  since  he  hoped  to  make  a  good 
deal  by  selling  the  if  word  of  God  "  at  so  much  a  copy, 
but  he  wanted  to  do  things  in  a  shrewd  and  cautious  man- 
ner. I  quote  from  a  letter  by  Mr.  Traughber : 

"  Poor  old  Martin  intended  to  pay  all  the  time,  but  as  he  would 
have  to  sell  his  farm  to  do  so,  he  wanted  the  best  price  he  could  get, 
so  he  held  on  and  would  not  sell  just  as  soon  as  Joe  wanted  him  to. 
Early  in  1830,  while  matters  stood  thus,  Joe  delivered  a  whooping 
big  revelation  directing  Oliver  Cowdery  and  Hiram  Page  to  go  over 
into  Kingston,  Canada,  and  sell  a  copyright  under  that  Dominion, 
and  thus  get  money  to  pay  the  printer  and  let  Martin  go  —  be  inde- 
pendent of  him.  The  revelation  promised  them  success,  and  all  that 
sort  of  stuff.  Well,  the  boys  went  over  on  the  ice  and  as  they  had  not 
money  enough  to  bear  their  expenses,  came  back  nearly  starved,  com- 
pletely wearied,  with  no  money  nor  copyright  sold  either.  In  1831, 
when  Joe  and  Sidney  were  talking  about  having  the  revelations  pub- 
lished, David  Whitmer  got  up  in  the  council  and  said  all  he  could 
against  the  measure.  But  Joe  raved  and  declared  that  the  Revelations 
should  be  published.  David  said,  '  Brother  Joseph,  are  you  going  to 
publish  all  of  them?  '  Joe  replied,  'yes,  all,  in  the  order  of  their  dates.' 
Then  David  asked,  ''are  you  going  to  publish  that  revelation  for 
Oliver  and  Hiram  to  go  to  Kingston  and  get  out  a  copyright  for  the 
Book  of  Mormon  ?  '  Joe  hung  his  head  a  while,  then  answered,  '  NO.' 
'Why  not,  Brother  Joseph?'  asked  honest  David.  «  BECAUSE,  re- 
plied Joe,  «  IT  WAS  NOT  TRUE.'  I  have  this  from  both  Dr.  W.  E.  Mc- 
Lellin  [apostle  and  apostate]  and  David  Whitmer,  both  of  whom 
have  read  the  revelation.  Dr.  McLellin  was  secretary  of  the  council 
in  which  David  talked  to  Joe  about  it.  Dr.  McLellin  also  states  that 
these  revelations  were  twice  altered  before  they  were  ever  printed  even 
in  the  Book  of  Commandments  and  that  in  the  revelations  it  was  fre- 
quently said,  <  Keep  these  things  from  the  world.'  These  expressions 
were  all  expunged  or  altered  in  sense." 


312  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

XXXII. 

THE    TREASURES    OF    SALEM. 


In  the  year  1836,  Joseph,  about  to  become  a  big  bank- 
er, visits  the  ancient  and  wealthy  town  of  Salem <  Mass. 
And  here  he  receives  a  revelation,  perhaps  the  most  unique 
of  them  all.  Why,  it  reads — not  to  speak  profanely — it 
reads  just  as  you  might  expect  a  prophet's  revelation  to* 
read  who  had  been  on  a  big  spree  !  It  seems  that  Joe 
had  heard  there  was  money  buried  in  the  cellar  of  a  va- 
cant house  in  Salem.  He  rents  the  house,  takes  a  house- 
keeper along,  (one  of  the  nice,  accommodating  sisters  from 
the  neighbor  city  of  Boston)  and  proceeds  to  dig  in 
the  cellar  for  the  buried  gold  and  silver.  I  copy  now  the 
"revelation"  from  the  latest  edition  of  the  Book  of 
Doctrine  and  Covenants,  p.  406 : 

Revelation  given  through  Joseph  the  Seer,  August  6th,  1836  : 

I,  the  Lord,  your  God,  am  not  displeased  with  your  coming  this 
journey,  notwithstanding  your  follies. 

I  have  much  treasure  in  this  city  for  the  benefit  of  Zion,  and 
many  people  in  this  city  whom  I  will  gather  out  in  due  time  for  the 
benefit  of  Zion,  through  your  instrumentality ! 

Therefore  it  is  expedient  that  you  should  form  acquaintance  with 
men  in  this  city,  as  you  shall  be  led  and  as  it  shall  be  given  you. 

And  it  shall  come  to  pass  in  due  time  that  /  will  give  this  city 
into  your  hands,  that  you  shall  have  power  over  it,  insomuch  that  they 
shall  not  discover  your  secret  parts  ;  and  its  wealth  pertaining  to  gold 
and  silver  shall  be  yours. 

Concern  not  yourselves  about  your  debts,  for  I  will  give  you  power 
to  pay  them.  This  place  you  may  obtain  by  hire,  etc.  *  And  inquire 
diligently  concerning  the  more  ancient  inhabitants  and  founders  of 
this  city.  For  there  are  more  treasures  than  one  for  you  in  this  city  ; 
therefore  be  ye  as  wise  as  serpents  and  yet  without  sin,  and  I  will 
order  all  things  for  your  good,  as  fast  as  ye  are  able  to  receive  them. 
Amen. 

I  have  nothing  to  say.  I  give  the  floor  to  the  in- 
ventor of  the  "archangel's  genius." 

*This  "  etc."  in  the  Lord's  mouth  is  of  special  richness. 


Joe  Lies   Once  More  About  Polygamy.  313 

XXIII. 

DESTRUCTION   OF   THE    "EXPOSITOR." 


I  have  asserted  (see  p.  249)  that  John  Taylor  "  had  a 
main  hand  in  squelching  the  freedom  of  the  press  in 
Nauvoo."  This  appears,  among  many  other  valuable 
details,  by  the  following  extract  from  the  minutes  of  the 
proceedings  of  the  Nauvoo  city  council  relative  to  the 
destruction  of  the  press  and  fixtures  of  the  Expositor.  I 
quote  from  the  Deseret  News,  Sept.  23,  1857,  pp. 225-6: 
"  CITY  COUNCIL,  Sessions  of  June  8  and  10,  1844. 

"  Mayor  [Joe]  suggested  that  the  Council  pass  an  ordinance  to 
prevent  misinterpretation  and  libelous  publications  and  conspiracies 
against  the  peace  of  the  city.  Mayor  said  the  conduct  of  such  men 
and  such  papers  are  calculated  to  destroy  the  peace  of  the  city ;  and 
it  is  not  safe  that  such  things  should  exist,  on  account  of  the  mob 
spirit  which  they  tend  to  produce. 

"  Councilor  Hyrum  Smith  spoke  of  the  importance  of  suppressing 
that  spirit  which  has  driven  us  from  Missouri,  etc. ;  that  he  would  go 
in  for  an  effective  ordinance. 

l<  Mayor  [Joe]  said  if  he  had  a  city  council  who  felt  as  he  did,  the 
establishment  [of  the  Expositor^  would  be  declared  a  nuisance  be- 
fore night.  Here  is  a  paper  that,  is  exciting  our  enemies  abroad, 
They  [the  editors  of  the  Expositor^  make  it  a  criminality  for  a  wan 
to  have  a  wife  on  earth  while  he  has  one  in  heaven,  according  to  the 
keys  of  the  priesthood;  and  he  then  read  a  statement  of  Wm.  Law's 
from  the  Expositor,  where  the  truth  of  God  was  transferred  into  a  lie 
concerning. this  thing  [!  !]  What  the  opposition  party  want  is  to  raise 
a  mob  on  us  and  take  the  spoil  from  us  as  they  did  in  Missouri ;  said 
he  would  rather  die  to-morrow  and  have  the  thing  smashed,  than 
live  and  have  it  go  on,  for  it  was  exciting  the  spirit  of  mobocracy 
among  the  people  and  bringing  death  and  destruction  upon  us.  May- 
or said  he  had  never  preached  the  revelation  [on  polygamy]  in 
private,  but  he  had  in  public,  had  not  taught  it  to  the  anointed  in  the 
church  in  private,  which  statement  many  present  confirmed.  *  Mayor 
said  the  Constitution  did  not  authorize  the  press  to  publish  libels,  and 
proposed  that  the  Council  make  some  provision  for  putting  down  the 
"  Nauvoo  Expositor" 

"  Councilor  Hyrum  Smith  was  in  favor  of  declaring  the  Expositor 
a  nuisance. 

*  What  did  Apostle  Snow  tell  the  author  about  the  scene  on  the 
log,  and  what  does  Wm.  Clayton  say  in  his  affidavit  ?  Who  lies? 


314  Mormon  Portraits. — 1.  Sidelights. 

"  Councilor  J.  TAYLOR  said  no  city  on  earth  would  bear  such  slan- 
der, and  he  would  not  bear  it,  and  w'as  decidedly  in  favor  of  active 
measures.  He  then  read  from  the  Constitution  of  the  United  States 
on  the  freedom  of  the  press,  and  said :  '  We  are  willing  they  should 
publish  the  truth ;  but  it  is  unlawful  to  publish  libels ;  the  Expositor 
is  a  nuisance  and  stinks  in  the  nose  of  every  honest  man.' 

^  "  Mayor  [Joe]  read  from  Illinois  Constitution,  touching  the  respon- 
sibility of  the  press  for  its  constitutional  liberty. 

"  Councilor  Hyrum  Smith  believed  the  best  way  was  to  smash  the 
press  and  ' pie '  the  type. 

"  Mayor  [Joe]  remarked  he  was  sorry  to  have  one  dissenting  voice 
in  declaring  the  Expositor  a  nuisance. 

"  Councilor  Warrington  did  not  mean  to  be  understood  to  go 
against  the  proposition ;  but  would  not  be  in  haste  in  declaring  it  a 
nuisance. 

"  Councilor  Phelps  had  investigated  the  Constitution,  charter  and 
laws ;  the  power  to  declare  that  office  a  nuisance  is  granted  to  us  in  the 
Springfield  CHARTER,  and  a  resolution  declaring  it  a  nuisance  is  all 
that  is  required" 

The  result  of  the  session  was,  that  the  following  resolu- 
tion was  read  and  passed  unanimously,  with  the  exception 
of  Councilor  Warrington: 

"  Resolved,  By  the  City  Council  of  the  city  of  Nauvoo,  that  the 
printing  office  from  whence  issues  the  *  Nauvoo  Expositor'  is  a  public 
nuisance  and  also  all  of  said  Nauvoo  Expositors,  which  may  be  or  exist 
in  said  establishment,  and  the  Mayor  is  instructed  to  cause  said  printing 
establishment  and  papers  to  be  removed  without  delay  in  such  manner 
as  he  shall  direct. 

GEO.  W.  HARRIS, 

"  Passed  June  10,  1844.  President  pro  tern" 

The  following  order  was  immediately  issued  by  the 
Mayor : 

"STATE  OF  ILLINOIS,     > 
City  of  Nauvoo.  f 
"  To  the  Marshal  of  said  City,  Greeting  : 

"  You  are  hereby  commanded  to  destroy  the  printing  press  from 
whence  issues  the  Nauvoo  Expositor  and  pie  the  type  of  said  printing 
establishment  IN  THE  STREET,  and  BURN  the  Expositors  and  libelous 
handbills  found  in  said  establishment,  and  if  resistance  be  offered  to 
your  execution  of  this  order  by  the  owners  or  others,  DEMOL- 
ISH THE  HOUSE;  and  if  anyone  threatens  you,  or  the  Mayor,  or  the 
officers  of  the  city,  ARREST  those  who  threaten  you,  and  fail  not  to  exe- 
cute this  order  without  delay,  and  make  due  return  hereon. 

"  By  order  of  the  City  Council. 

JOSEPH  SMITH,  Mayor." 


Joe  Makes  a  Mob  of  His  Army.  315 

Marshal's  return  :  The  within  named  press  and  type  is  destroyed 
and  pied  according  to  order,  on  this  loth  day  of  June,  1844,  at  about 
8  o'clock  p.  m. 

J.  P.  GREENE,  C.  M. 

So  much  for  Mayor  Joseph  Smith.  But  the  Lieut.  - 
General  of  the  Legion  cannot  be  mocked,  either,  in  such 
"libelous"  affairs.  So  he  decrees  as  follows: 

"  HEADQUARTERS  NAUVOO  LEGION,  \ 
June  10,  1844.  y 

"  To  Jonathan  Dunham,  Acting  Major-  General  of  the  Nauvoo  Legion  : 
''You  are  hereby  commanded  to  hold  the  Nauvoo  Legion  in  readi- 
ness forthwith  to  execute  the  city  ordinances,  and  especially  to  remove 
the  establishment  of  the  Nauvoo  Expositor,  and  this  you  are  required 
to  do  at  sight,  under  the  penalty  of  the  laws;  provided  the  Marshal 
shall  require  it  and  need  your  services. 

JOSEPH  SMITH, 
L ieut.  -  General  Nauvoo  Legion . ' ' 

According  to  these  orders,  two  companies  of  the  Nau- 
voo Legion  assisted  in  destroying  the  Expositor! 

I  insert  the  following  extracts  from  the  "History  of 
Joseph  Smith,"  contained  in  the  Deseret  News  of  1857: 

"  SUNDAY,  JUNE  9,  1844.  At  home.  My  health  not  very  good  in 
consequence  of  my  lungs  being  impaired  by  so  much  public  speaking. 
My  brother  Hyrum  preached  at  the  stand.  At  2  p.  m.  several  passen- 
gers ot  the  steamer  '  Osprey  '  from  St.  Louis  and  Quincy  arrived  and 
put  up  at  the  Mansion.  I  helped  to  carry  in  their  trunks  and  chatted 
with  them  in  the  bar  room. 

"MONDAY,  JUNE  10.  I  was  in  the  City  Council  from  10  a.  m.  to 
l:2O  p.  m.  and  from  2:20  to  6:30  p.  m.,  investigating  the  merits  of  the 
Nauvoo  Expositor  and  also  the  conduct  of  the  Laws,  Higbees,  Foster 
and  others,  who  have  formed  a  conspiracy  for  the  purpose  of  destroy- 
ing my  life  and  scattering  the  Saints,  or  driving  them  Irom  the  State. 
About  8  p.  m.  the  Marshal  returned  and  reported  that  he  had  removed 
the  press,  type,  printed  paper  and  fixtures  into  the  street  and  destroyed 
them.  The  posse,  accompanied  by  some  hundreds  of  citizens,  returned 
with  the  Marshal  to  the  front  of  the  Mansion,  when  I  gave  them  a 
short  address  and  told  them  that  they  HAD  DONE  RIGHT  ;  and  that  not 
a  hair  of  their  heads  should  be  hurt  for  it ;  that  they  had  executed  the 
orders  which  were  given  me  by  the  City  Council;  that  I  would  never 
submit  to  have  another  libelous  publication  established  in  the  city  ;  that 
I  did  not  care  how  many  papers  were  printed  in  the  city  if  they  would 
print  the  truth,  but  would  submit  to  no  libels  or  slanders  from  them.  I 
then  blessed  them  in  the  name  of  the  Lord.  This  speech  was  loudly 
greeted  by  the  assembly  with  three  times  three  cheers." 


3i 6  Mormon  Portraits. — /.  Sidelights. 

On  the  same  day,  June  10,  the  City  Council  had  passed 
an  "Ordinance  concerning  libels  and  for  other  purposes." 
Compare  its  language  with  that  of  the  Expositor  and  you 
will  find  where  the  "  libel"  is.  The  ordinance  says  of  the 
publishers  of  the  Expositor : 

"They  have  turned  traitors  in  the  church  and  combined  and 
leagued  with  the  most  corrupt  scoundrels  and  villains  that  disgrace  the 
earth  unhung,  for  the  heaven-daring  and  damnable  purpose  of  revenge 
on  account  of  disappointed  lust,  disappointed  prospects  of  speculation, 
fraud  and  unlawful  designs  to  rob  and  plunder  mankind  with  impunity  ; 
and  whereas  such  wicked  and  corrupt  men  have  greatly  facilitated  their 
unlawful  designs,  horrid  intentions  and  murderous  plans,  by  polluting, 
degrading  and  converting  the  blessings  of  the  utility  of  the  press  to 
the  sin-smoking  and  blood-stained  ruin  of  innocent  communities,  by 
publishing  lies,  false  statements,  slandering  men,  women,  children  [!], 
societies  and  countries,  by  polishing  the  characters  of  blacklegs,  high- 
waymen and  murderers  as  virtuous  ..." 

The  plans  of  the  "  degraded  "  publishers  are  "  horrid, 
bloody,  secret ;  "  they  want  to  "destroy  Mormonism,  men, 
women  and  children,  as  Missouri  did."  Therefore, 

"  Be  it  ordained  by  the  City  Council  of  the  city  of  Nauvoo,  that  if 
any  person  or  persons  shall  write  or  publish  in  said  city  ANY  FALSE 
STATEMENT  or  libel  any  of  the  citizens,  for  the  purpose  of  exciting  the 
public  mind  against  the  chartered  privileges,  peace  and  good  order  of 
said  city,  or  shall  SLANDER  any  portion  of  the  inhabitants  of  said  city, 
or  bribe  any  portion  of  the  citizens  of  said  city  for  malicious  purposes, 
or  in  any  manner  or  form  excite  the  prejudice  of  tJie  community  against 
any  portion  of  the  citizens  of  said  c\\y,for  evil  purposes ,  he,  she  or 
they  shall  be  deemed  disturbers  of  the  peace  and  upon  conviction 
before  the  Mayor,  OR  Municipal  Court,  shall  be  fined  in  any  sum  not 
exceeding  $500  or  imprisoned  six  months,  or  both,  at  the  discretion  of 
said  Mayor  or  court." 

The  ordinance  adds,  evidently  by  way  of  a  joke,  that 
"  nothing  in  this  ordinance  shall  be  so  construed  as  to 
interfere  with  the  freedom  of  speech,  or  the  liberty  of  the 
press,  according  to  the  most  liberal  meaning  of  the  Consti- 
tution, the  dignity  of  freemen,  the  voice  of  truth  and  the 
rules  of  virtue  !  " 

At  a  mass  meeting  of  the  citizens  of  Hancock  County, 
convened  at  Carthage  June  13,  it  was  stated  that 

"  Hyrum  Smith  did,  in  the  presence  of  the  City  Council  and  the 
citizens  of  Nauvoo,  offer  a  reward  for  the  destruction  of  the  printing 


Mormon  Interpretation  of  Law.  317 

press  and  materials  of  the  Warsaw  Signal.  Hyrum  Smith  has  within 
the  last  week  publicly  threatened  the  life  of  Thos.  C.  Sharp,  the  editor 
of  the  Signal" 

The  destruction  of  the  Expositor  is  declared  a  lawful 
act  by  Joseph  Smith  in  a  letter  to  Governor  Ford  dated 
June  14,  in  consideration  of  the  following  section  of  the 
Nauvoo  City  charter: 

"SEC.  7.  To  make  regulations  to  secure  the  general  health  of  the 
inhabitants,  TO  DECLARE  WHAT  SHALL  BE  A  NUISANCE  AND  TO  PRE- 
VENT AND  REMOVE  the  same." 

Isn't  this  interpretation  the  acme  of  impudence? 

Let  us  close  with  a  look  at  the  widow  of  the  prophet : 

"Dimick  B.  Huntington,  with  the  assistance  of  Wm.  Marks  and  W. 
D.  Huntington,  washed  the  bodies  from  head  to  foot  .  .  .he  put  cot- 
ton soaked  in  camphor  in  each  wound  and  laid  the  bodies  out  with 
fine,  plain  drawers  and  shirts,  white  neckerchiefs,  white  cotton  stock- 
ings and  white  shrouds.  After  this  was  done,  EMMA  (who  was  at  this 
time  pregnant)  was  permitted  to  view  the  bodies.  On  first  seeing  the 
corpse  of  her  husband  she  screamed  and  fell,  but  was  supported  by  D. 
B.  Huntington.  She  then  fell  upon  his  face  and  kissed  him,  calling 
him  by  name  and  begged  of  him  to  speak  to  her  once." 


XXXIV. 

'TALLERED    RAGS." 


Apostle  Heber  C.  Kimball  had  been  a  potter  in  his 
early  days.  Full  of  the  spirit  of  the  Kingdom,  he  used  to 
preach  blind  obedience  to  the  holy  priesthood.  He  had 
two  standard  images  showing  how  far  this  obedience 
should  go.  One  was  that  the  faithful  should  be  in  the 
hands  of  the  authorities  like  clay  in  the  hands  of  the 
potter ;  the  other  was  not  taken  from  pottery,  still  it  was 
very  fine  in  its  kind :  good  Saints  should  be  like 
"  tallered  rags. "  He  was  a  master  spirit,  Kimball  was. 
Like  Brigham,  he  had  learned  his  little  lesson  in  Nauvoo. 
Joe  Smith  used  to  treat  his  apostles  like  tallowed  rags, 


3J8  Mormon  Portraits. — I.  Sidelights. 

indeed.  A  perfect  illustration  is  furnished  by  a  passage 
in  the  prophet's  autobiography,  written  in  April,  1843, 
and  contained  in  the  Mill.  Star,  Vol.  XXL,  Number  2  : 

"  At  three  p.  m.  I  met  with  Brigham  Young,  William  Smith,  P. 
P.  Pratt,  O.  Pratt,  W.  Woodruff,  J.  Taylor,  Geo.  A.  Smith  and  Will- 
ard  Richards,  of  the  quorum  of  the  Twelve,  in  my  office,  and  told 
them  to  go  in  the  name  of  the  Lord  God  of  Israel,  and  tell  Lucien 
Woodworth  to  put  the  hands  on  to  the  Nauvoo  House  and  begin  the 
work  and  be  patient  till  means  can  be  provided. 

"  Call  on  the  inhabitants  of  Nauvoo,  and  get  them  to  bring  in 
their  means ;  then  go  to  La  Harpe  and  serve  them  the  same.  Out  of 
the  stock  that  is  handed  to  me  you  shall  have  as  you  have  need ;  for 
the  labourer  is  worthy  of  his  hire. 

"  I  hereby  command  the  hands  to  go  to  work  on  the  house,  trust- 
ing in  the  Lord.  Tell  Woodworth  to  put  them  on  and  he  shall  be 
backed  up  with  it.  You  must  get  cash,  property,  lands,  horses,  cattle, 
flour,  corn,  rvheat,  etc.  The  grain  can  be  ground  in  this  place.  If 
you  can  get  hands  on  the  Nauvoo  House,  it  will  give  such  an  impetus 
to  the  work,  it  will  take  all  the  devils  out  of  hell  to  stop  it. 

"Brigham  Young  asked  if  any  of  the  Twelve  should  goto  England. 

"I  replied:  '  ATo  !  I  don't  want  the  Twelve  to  go  to  England  this 
year.  I  have  sent  them  to  England  and  they  have  broke  the  ice ; 
and  now  I  want  to  send  some  of  the  elders  and  try  them. 

"You  can  never  make  anything  out  of  Benjamin  Winchester,  if 
you  take  him  out  of  the  channel  he  wants  to  be  in.  Send  Samuel 
James  to  England,  thus  saith  the  Lord !  also  Reuben  Hedlock.  Send 
these  two  now  ;  and  when  you  think  of  some  others,  send  them. 

'*  John  Taylor,  I  believe  you  can  do  more  good  in  the  editorial 
department  than  preaching.  You  can  write  for  thousands  to  read, 
while  you  can  preach  to  but  a  few  at  a  time.  We  have  no  one  else 
we  can  trust  the  paper  with,  and  hardly  with  you  ;  for  you  suffer  the 
paper  to  come  out  with  so  many  mistakes. 

"  Brother  Geo.  A.  Smith,  I  don't  know  how  I  can  help  him  to  a 
living,  but  to  go  arM  preach,  put  on  a  long  face,  and  make  them  doe 
over  to  him.*  The  Lord  will  give  him  a  good  pair  of  lungs  yet. 

"  Woodruff  can  be  spared  from  the  printing  office.  If  you  both 
stay  you  will  disagree.  I  want  Orson  Pratt  should  go. 

"  Brother  Brigham  asked  if  he  should  go.     '  YES,  GO.' 


V         J          » 


*  Rather  hard  on  Thackeray,  isn't  it  ? 

END    OF   VOL.  I. 


TABLE  OF  CONTENTS. 


Testimonials 5 

Letter  to  the  Public 10 

The  Prophet's  Parents 16 

Views  of  Joseph  Smith 19 

Joseph  Smith  and  his  Plates 20 

Joseph  hkes  his  Glass 21 

Joseph  the  Wrestler 23 

Joseph  as  a  Student 24 

Joseph's  Habits,  etc 25 

Joseph  as  a  Preacher 26 

Joseph  as  a  General 27 

Joseph  as  a  Presidential  Candidate 29 

Joseph  and  Nero  Boggs 30 

The  Lord's  Bankers  in  Kirtland 35 

Counterfeiting   Apostles 37 

Joseph  in  Money  Matters 39 

Secret  Murders  in  Nauvoo 44 

Stealing  in  Nauvoo 50 

The  Don  Juan  of  Nauvoo 53 

The   Nauvoo   Pandemonium 64 

Emma,  the  Prophet's  Wife 73 

The  Revelation  on  Polygamy 83 

The  Prophet's  Brothers ill 

President  Sidney  Rigdon 117 

Dr.  John  C.  Bennett 127 

The  Nauvoo  Catastrophe 136 

The  Lynching  of  Joseph  Smith 153 

Danites  and  Destroying  Angels 165 

Joseph  as  Seer  and  Translator 193 

The   Kinderhook   Plates 205 

The  Book  of  Abraham 213 


SIDELIGHTS— (APPENDIX.  ) 


I.  The  affidavits  of  1833   and  1834 227 

II.  The  Gold  Bible  Company 235 

III.  Spaulding's  "  Manuscript   Found " 238 

IV.  Rigdon  and  Spaulding's  Manuscript 241 

V.  The  Army  of  Zion 243 

VI.  Affidavits  of  Fanny  Brewer  and  Others 249 


320  Index. 

VII.  Polygamy  in   Kirtland 251 

VIII.  Dr.  Isaac  Galland 252 

IX.  Setting  up  the  Kingdom .  253 

X.  Rockwell  and  Governor  Boggs 254 

XL   Martha  Brotherton's  Affidavit 255 

XII.  Evidence  in  the  Trial  of  Joseph  Smith,  etc 261 

XIII.  Joseph's    real  Character" 263 

XIV.  Patriarchal  Blessings 266 

XV.  History  of  the  Endowments •    •    .    .    .  267 

X\T.  The  Mormon   Prophetess 272 

XVII.  Old  Joe  and  Old  Lucy *  .    .  275 

XVIII.  Nauvoo  City  Ordinances 277 

XIX.  Nauvoo   City   Officers 282 

XX.  The  Nauvoo  University 283 

XXL  The  Nauvoo  Legion 285 

XXII.  Miss   Nancy   Rigdon 288 

XXIII.  The  Lord  Corrects  Himself  .    .    . 292 

XXIV.  Brother  Brigham  Damns  Sister  Emma 294 

XXV.  D.  Whitmer  Ordained  Joseph's  Successor 295 

XXVI.  The   Nauvoo  Seraglio 295 

XXVII.  A  Love  Letter  by  Joseph 3°° 

XXVIII.  "Two  Minutes  in  Goal " 303 

XXIX.  Origin  of  the  Word  "  Mormon" 306 

XXX.  Apostolic  Sprees 308 

XXXI.  The   Canada  Revelation 3to 

XXXII.  The  Treasures  of  Salem 312 

XXXIII.  Destruction  of  the  "  Expositor  " 313 

XXXIV.  "Tallered  Rags" 3*7 


ILLUSTRATIONS. 


Death  Mask  of  Joseph  Smith 4 

Reformed  Egyptian  Hieroglyphics 198 

Dollar  Sign  Hieroglyphics 209 

Kirtland  Temple 212 

Resurrection  of  Osiris 222 

Abraham  and  Pharaoh •    •    .    .    .  224 

Lucy  Smith 225 

Brigham    Young 258 

Adam's   Endowment  Garment 268 

Revealed  Fig  Leaf  Apron 269 

Man's  Endowment  Cap 270 

Woman's  Cap  and  Slipper 271 

Professor  Orson  Pratt 284 

Major  John  D.  Lee 286 


